Original subtitles

(INTENSE MUSIC)

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver

Hey guys, Coolduder here with another video.

Ever since I did my video in my DVD room,

talking about how it's haunted

and that sometimes I see a ghost in here

and all that kind of stuff,

you guys have been bugging me again and again and again

with videos requesting, since I must live

in some sort of a haunted house or a haunted establishment

or this room is haunted, or I have like a evil,

haunted spirit bothering me or something like that,

you guys continuously want me

to do more haunted type videos.

And one of the things I've been getting a request

is a new challenge called The Bloody Nun Challenge.

I don't really know if it's new,

but I've been hearing about it now.

It's like, it's one of those things

where you go in front of the mirror

and you say the name "Bloody Nun" three times

and you're supposed to see the nun

or something spooky supposed to happen.

But it's a new big thing

that you guys are continuously bugging me about.

You know, I like doing my channel videos

about DVDs and Blu-rays and reviewing them

and talking about them.

That's what I like, that's what I enjoy doing.

But because of that damn video about my haunted DVD room,

it's continuous now,

you want more and more haunted type videos.

So I have to do this damn Bloody Nun Challenge,

at least to quiet you guys down for a little bit.

You know, I'm sure absolutely nothing will happen.

So maybe after that, you guys will leave me alone

and let me, you know, and do my DVD and Blu-ray reviews.

Even though I know this place is probably haunted

after what I saw, I'm not really worried about it,

it doesn't really matter to me

because I like sitting here, sitting in front of the TV

and just watching stuff, lounging around,

that's what I do.

Then I sit down on my couch and I review 'em

and tell you guys about 'em.

That's what I enjoy doing.

I don't like doing haunted videos.

I don't wanna go to a graveyard and do etches

and etch out the names of the graveyard or do seances.

I really do not like doing that.

That's not fun to me, that's in no way exciting.

So please stop asking, but to shut you all up,

hopefully, you know, once and for all,

for at least a little while

I'm gonna do this stupid ass Bloody Nun Challenge.

So I'm gonna head to the bathroom.

Don't worry, you're not gonna see anything,

I'm not showing anything in the bathroom,

I'm just gonna stand in front of the mirror.

If any of you were wondering about that stuff,

I wouldn't be putting that up online anyway.

And if I was gonna put it up online it would not be free.

You'd have to pay for something like that.

But I'm gonna head to the bathroom now

and do this stupid ass challenge

which just seems like a copy

of other challenges that I've heard.

But you guys want it.

And you know, someone put this that, you know

as a response to do it

and you all keep thumbing it up and saying to do it

and saying I don't do anything else

besides the DVD and Blu-ray reviews.

So I'm gonna do the Bloody Nun challenge.

So let's head to the bathroom, do the stupid ass challenge

and then please leave me alone,

or come up with something else, you know, movie related

'cause I do not wanna do anything like this again.

So let's just do this and then get it over it, okay.

(DOOR THUDDING)

All right guys, here we go at this stupid thing

like I said, this is not the kind of thing,

the thing that I do, these are not the kind of videos

I do on this channel, this a movie related channel.

And you all are really, really, really bugging me

about this stupid shit to do, these stupid kind of videos.

But like I said, maybe if I do this

you'll leave me alone and quit talking to me

and asking me to do stupid bullshit ghost stuff.

So, okay, we're gonna do it, all right?

So we're gonna do it and see what happens.

And I'm sure absolutely nothing is gonna happen whatsoever.

So let's just do it. All right.

So I have to say this or I have to say the thing,

I'm not gonna to say it till it's time to say it.

All right.

Bloody Nun.

Bloody Nun.

Bloody Nun.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(MAN GASPING)

(LOUD SCREAMING)

(CREEPY MUSIC)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(ALCOHOL POURING)

(PAPER RUSTLING)

My name is Father Gordon Herschell.

This is my written confession.

I am recording this confession

to prove that I have not been possessed by a demon.

I had been a priest for 40 years.

I am one of the top exorcists in the world.

I have helped many people

and cast out many demons.

During my stay in Rome at the Vatican,

I experienced something so evil,

a nun, Sister Maria,

she was overtaken and possessed by a demon.

This demon feeds on the weak.

It feeds on nuns who are weak

and have doubts in their faith.

This demon is called Valak.

It is evil and powerful.

It is attacking and taking hold of our sisters

and using them to do evil and kill.

One night as I left my quarters, I saw her walking

and felt an evil presence in the air.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

I approached her and she attacked me.

(NUN GROWLING)

I tried to pray with her and cast the demon out,

it was too strong.

She was going to kill me.

I defended myself and I killed her.

(NUN SCREAMING LOUDLY) (FLESH SQUELCHING)

I hid the body and came back to America.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(GORDON SIGHS)

I heard of a story that happened in New York,

a nun in a cabin murdering a group of kids.

I feel it is too late.

And this demon, Valak, is too powerful.

I can feel her near.

She is haunting me.

I could not get that face out of my head.

And I feel such guilt

for killing Sister Maria.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

I can't go on.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Father, forgive me.

(GUN FIRES) (BLOOD SPURTING)

(FLESH PLOPPING)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

Hello, Mateo.

Hello to you as well, Father.

You seem to have a lot on your mind tonight.

Yes, do you?

Sometimes thoughts can plague us, even torture us.

Well, that's where we have to have faith

to help our thoughts.

And I taught you about faith,

all's we need is a mustard seed

that heals the sick.

It's all we need.

But you wanna know something, Mateo?

I don't know where you're going with this, Father,

but my guess is the devil?

Well, I'm talking about big voluptuous tits,

hot girls in thongs, sexy small boobs,

long legs, tight clean pussies,

I'd just love to lick one.

Excuse me, Father,

(SNIFFS) have you been drinking?

Of course I've been drinking.

- Why would you- - What is wrong?

Well, what do you expect?

I also have thoughts as well.

You serve the Lord. I look to you for guidance.

I've been serving the Lord for a long time

and I've been listening to a lot of confessions.

And I really need to tell you something, Mateo.

Why, what is wrong? What is going on?

I've also been jerking off after the confessions.

We can't succumb to this.

We promised to serve the Lord.

Well, things have changed

and we've lost parishioners.

I don't know how many times to tell you this,

I just feel like I'm losing my verve for this

and I can't get these thoughts out of my head,

whether they're dark or light.

I understand these thoughts can trouble you.

To be honest, they've been troubling me as well.

But we have to do what we came here to do

what you taught me to do, serve the Lord.

Do you or do you not serve the Lord?

Yes, I serve the Lord,

but what makes me different,

or you different than anyone else who serves the Lord?

We still get those same thoughts.

I get those same thoughts.

Mine might be worse than yours.

I don't know, Father.

I can't answer these questions,

but I look to you to show me the way

and tonight your influence is doing more harm than good.

Well, maybe you should start looking somewhere else.

Like maybe we should go to the house.

The house?

I'm gonna tell you one thing I've heard

in this confession recently, and it's about this house.

There's this house that's filled with hot chicks,

real sexy bodies, all kinds of things are going on there.

Nobody will know if we go, we can just go and keep it quiet.

At some point it has to stop.

How are we gonna stop this?

We're only human.

And we have to get this cognitive dissonance

out of our head, going against the thoughts

that we're supposed to believe

and be our true nature,

and be like other humans.

I carry a burden every single day

but every day from morning to sunrise

I just try to live in his image better.

I try harder every day.

And now I don't know, I'm starting to break, Father.

Well, I'm starting to break too.

So why don't we do this,

let's just go to the house and have some fun.

Nobody's gonna know about it.

That's what we should do.

I don't know.

Mateo, we can go to this house

and if you don't wanna go, I'm gonna go by myself.

I wanna get laid.

You may have lost your faith, Father,

but I still have a chance to save souls.

I've made my choice and that was a long time ago

when I decided to come here.

I wanna go hook up with some hot chicks.

I'm going back to my quarters.

You have a good night.

I'll pray for you.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Hello, Gabriel.

I've been waiting for you.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Remove the cross.

(GABRIEL GROANING)

Come to me.

I know you want this.

I know what you do at night.

I know about the cross stressing and I like it.

Come to me.

Accept this amulet.

Come to the dark side.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(GABRIEL GROANING) (DISTORTED VOICES)

(GABRIEL SCREAMING) (DISTORTED VOICES)

(GABRIEL ROARING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

Miss, have you seen Father Gabriel?

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Excuse me, miss.

Are you lost?

Is there something wrong?

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

I don't recognize you.

You're not one of the sisters here.

Have you seen Father Gabriel?

Father Gabriel?

Don't worry about Father Gabriel.

Father Gabriel, have you seen him?

He's not here.

But you're restless. Do you like it?

Father Gabriel was a weaker man.

You're a strong man.

- Would you like to see- - Strong man that serves

the Lord.

(OMINOUS MUSIC) (NUN CHUCKLING)

- I can't. - I think you like this.

- I can't, I can't. - I think you like me.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't.

I can't do this.

Is this a joke?

You're making me really uncomfortable.

Can I help with something?

Are you lost?

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Here.

Come taste.

That's it.

You know you want to.

All for you.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

No, I can't!

(NUN ROARING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Hello, kind sir.

And who are you?

Would you care for some forbidden fruit?

You won't tempt me.

I know you're a demon.

And I know all about you, demon hunter.

But there are many of us and we will not all be killed.

Oh yes you will.

It'll just be one at a time.

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(NUN GROWLING)

(NUN SHRIEKING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Hello, Father.

How are you doing today, sir?

Is there something I can help you with?

Actually, there's something I can help you with.

The Lord is my shepherd and my guiding light.

But what is it you can help me with?

I can keep you from not only losing your faith,

but losing your soul.

My faith has been challenged lately

but what do you know of it?

I know. I saw the woman.

Who's that woman?

Nevermind who that woman is.

She's been taken care of.

I see that she challenged your faith though.

MATEO: Most certainly did.

You're only half a priest right now, Father.

MATEO: I try my best.

After you still had your faith,

the other half just doesn't know.

MATEO: How do you know all this about me?

I've been around a long time.

I know a lot about everything.

So what do you plan on doing about it?

I'll admit my faith has been challenged

but I'll do everything in my power

to save as many as I can.

SANDOVAL: Going to that house is not gonna

save your faith.

You just wouldn't understand.

You just wanna go there

and watch people get jackrabbit fucked

booty clapped, right?

Slapping that flesh.

That's what you're going there for, all right.

But guess what?

You may not leave there alive

with or without your soul,

and I've been doing this a long, long time, priest,

and I've been real good at it.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

I'll do what I have to do.

I appreciate your concern,

but I will also do what must be done.

You've been warned, Father.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(INTENSE MUSIC) (WHIRRING)

(SANDOVAL GROANS)

May the Lord be with you.

(INTENSE MUSIC) (WHIRRING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Sandoval!

Sandoval!

Faith, what are you doing here?

Ah, I'm going with you.

Not on this one, I'm sorry.

Oh my God, you trained me.

You told me how to kill.

You need me.

And that's all well and good.

But this demon is not like any other.

He's an old demon, many tricks.

You're not up to this

and I don't want anything to happen to you.

And I can't do battle with him

if I have to worry about you.

I had a vision, Sandoval.

I had a vision that you fucking died!

So please take me with you!

Listen to me, I'm not gonna die.

I'll be fine.

I'll be back.

Your body is weak.

Please, take me with you.

My body wasn't too weak last night, was it?

Was it?

Oh, I know it was actually the best I've ever had,

- and oh my God. - Listen to me,

all this time, working with you

I just never realized how beautiful you are.

And I don't want anything to happen to you.

I couldn't stand it.

So you're staying here.

You promise me you'll be safe?

Hey, Faith, have a little faith.

Trust me.

You go back to my place, make yourself comfortable.

And when I get back, I'll tell you all the war stories.

Here, take this with you.

It's blessed.

You're gonna need it.

Even if I don't need it, at least I'll have

a piece of you with me.

Stay safe, my love.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

What the fuck?

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

This is nice.

(OMINOUS MUSIC) (DISTORTED VOICES)

(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)

The time is close.

This one's for you, preach.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Sir, I'm a little lost.

Can you help me find Draven's house.

I'm looking for some girls.

I wanna party.

Draven's house.

It's about a quarter mile up the road.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Hey, you guys know where this Draven's house is?

There's supposed to be a big party going on.

I got my shirt in the car.

- Draven's house. - I'm ready to go.

I've been driving up and down Malibu

for like 10 minutes now.

I can't find this place.

Yeah, it's about a quarter mile up the road.

This kid's looking for the same place.

Maybe you wanna take him with you?

Oh, yeah?

All right. How old are you kid?

I'm 21. I'm old enough.

21. All right.

Okay, all right.

Hey, thanks a lot, man. I appreciate it

- Thank you. - Don't thank me.

Yeah, all right, well, I'll see you around.

Come on kid, let's go get some pussy, yeah.

(FOOTSTEPS TAPPING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

Wow, this place is killer, yo.

That's right, kid.

You know, so lead me to the pussy.

Yeah, I heard they got really good pussy here.

You're gonna get laid tonight.

Yeah, and you too, bro.

Let's go get a drink,

introduce ourselves to the young ladies.

- Hell yeah. - Get you some piece of ass.

I'm ready, my dick is getting harder

- from just... - No, I don't wanna

know about that.

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

(MATEO SIGHS)

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

Ladies, LT in the building.

♪ Whoa whoa whoa ♪

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

Come on, Maldito.

Let's go get some putas.

MALDITO: Hold on.

Puta, waa, yeah!

Wooh!

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

♪ Whoa ♪

What are you doing here, Father?

I'm here to save souls.

More like looking to fill some holes.

Get out of here before it's too late.

Excuse me, but I have something to do now.

Yo, this party is awesome!

These girls are hot!

Let's get some pussy!

Wait, you're a priest.

- Yes I am. - What the fuck

are you doing here?

I'm here to save souls,

just like I told him.

You're a priest and you're here to save souls?

Yes, sir.

- (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) - Hmm.

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

That's cool.

♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪

This puta from (INDISTINCT).

(MEN CHATTERING)

Shalom, my brother.

(UPBEAT MUSIC) (MEN CHATTERING)

Get out of here. I'm Jewish.

Oh, no, really?

It's like a bad joke, man.

All right, so are you ready for this?

- I'm ready. Yeah man. - A couple of drinks,

calm yourself down,

get these girls up here, get you all set.

I heard these girls are really high class.

- I'm ready for mad pussy. - You're gonna do all right,

don't worry about it.

Just follow me around all night,

I'll take care of you.

MALDITO: Pussy, man, I came all the way from Mexico.

Yeah, I know, later on, later on.

MALDITO: You never told me to jerk off.

Yeah, later on. (INDISTINCT)

Do you see the guy with the clown mask?

What the hell is going on here, man?

- This is getting ridiculous. - Hey, you got, look it,

this guy, he's a clown that comes here.

(LAUGHING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC) (MEN CHATTERING)

Yeah, this is gonna be my first time.

- Gonna be your first time? - It's my first time.

Yeah, you got more than $20 on you?

- Oh, yeah. - 'Cause this is a little bit

- more than on the street. - Really?

- This is a high class place. - Awesome.

- (SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC) - Welcome, gentlemen

to Draven's Ravenwood Resort

where all of your common desires

are sure to be met this evening.

And here on the side is my Ravenettes

who'll be taking care of you quite well later on.

And over here,

is my lovely, lovely wife,

- who I'm sad to say - Hi, guys.

is not on the menu this evening.

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

- Bye, guys. - But of course,

here at Ravenwood,

the money doesn't stop after all.

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

On my left is the lovely, Tiffany.

And believe me,

if you have the good fortune

of having breakfast with Tiffany,

I'm sure you'll be back for lunch.

On my right is the ravishing Heidi from Heidelberg,

and she brings all of that German goodness

right here into this house.

So ready your bratwursts for a ravishing time.

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

You look pretty. (GROUP CHATTERING)

Come here, mamacita.

Whoa, whoa, take your hands off her, huh.

(INDISTINCT)

Excuse me (INDISTINCT).

What do you think that means to her

when you talk to me like that?

- This is the first time- - Gonna outlaw you.

Come on.

(GROUP CHATTERING)

I wanna do everything.

A dirty sanchez and Cleveland steamer, everything baby.

Mm-hmm.

Oh!

Oh, shit.

I think you got a spill on you.

Oh yeah, I'm gonna be doing a lot of spilling on you.

If you pay enough.

Wow.

Come on drink, drink.

Shut up and drink. Oh my God.

- (UPBEAT MUSIC) - I say we go have some fun.

God.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

(INDISTINCT)

Wait till you see my place, baby.

You're gonna love it.

Your special place?

- Oh, it's a special place. - All right.

- Take me there. - What you came here for.

- Take me there. - All right, come on,

- big boy. - All right.

- This is it? - The entry.

- This is your palace? - Yes.

- You wanna get started? - Yeah,

I bet you are.

Oh, God, this is the best blowjob I've ever gotten.

Oh, man, I gotta come all the way to Malibu to get this.

I could never get this in New York.

God.

Oh, man. Suck that cannoli.

Oh God.

DRAVEN: Tiffany?

Oh sorry babe, I gotta go.

Oh, where are you going?

Maybe next time.

- Right now, it's a no go. - God!

Shit, I'm coming, Daddy.

I'm coming, Mr. Draven.

Fuck. Fuck.

Oh, man, this bitch had to leave me like this?

Fucking hanging.

I got a fucking hard on the size of the Verrazano Bridge.

(DOOR CREAKING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Oh, baby.

Came back to finish me off, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, it feels good.

Oh, yeah.

Wait, you're getting a little rough there.

Don't you think?

Wait a minute. Hey.

What, what, what, what, what the fuck!

(PENIS RIPPING) Ow!

(BLOOD SPURTING) Fuck!

(SCREAMING)

My fucking dick! (GROANS)

(NUN CHOMPING)

(SOFT MUSIC)

Hey, darling.

Ooh, that's a Ravenette.

Looks like Christmas came early.

Yeah, I've got a package for you, dear.

I bet you do.

(SMOOTH MUSIC) (DRAVEN MOANING)

You are hot.

(DRAVEN GROWLING)

Oh, raven.

(GROANING)

(BOTH MOANING)

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

(DRAVEN GROANING)

Yes.

(BOTH GROANING)

My little raven.

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

Why so quick though?

You know I love it.

Are you just teasing me?

You know, I'm just saving me some more time for later.

Okay.

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

(CHUCKLING) You better promise, though.

(HEELS TAPPING)

- Hi, there. - Hey, holy roller.

Hello ladies.

He's a holy roller.

- Here we go. - Come on.

- Come on, go. - Hello, ladies.

- What's up, holy roller? - Hello, ladies.

- How are ya? - Thank you for-

- You have no money? - Jesus!

- Well I got money. - Anything?

(MAN GRUNTING) Oh, here we go.

Where's all that money you stole from the congregation?

- Yeah. - Well,

I don't steal from my congregation.

- Oh no, it's hot. - They're my flock.

No, it's hot. (TIFFANY LAUGHS)

- Well maybe I did. - They're his flock.

And maybe it was all my idea.

Would you like to join my flock?

I would love to join your flock.

Would you like to join my flock?

- What's your budget? - Join his flock?

- What's my budget? - Yeah.

What's your budget?

- What's my budget? - Well, it's pretty high.

(LAUGHING)

(INDISTINCT)

You can't afford this.

- Well the Lord, - Guess you're not

- joining the fun. - The Lord knows the way.

And I follow the lord.

- How you doing? - I'm fine.

Do you think the heavens will allow us

to go up and party?

- Um... - Maybe?

I think we should, we should find out.

Yeah, I think we should find out too.

- Come on, let's go. - Do you wanna go to heaven?

We're all going to heaven.

You know, I could get you to heaven.

- Whoo! (LAUGHS) - Yeah.

(DOOR CREAKING)

(SIGHS) Finally.

The Lord knows I needed that.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

God, that was some good pussy.

How do I look, God?

(OMINOUS MUSIC) (DISTORTED VOICES)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(DRAVEN SIGHING)

Heidi, the most favorite of my ravens.

Huh, you have always been the toughest little egg to crack

Because we don't mix business with pleasure.

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

There's going to be no business involved.

Haven't you had enough for tonight?

(LAUGHING) Enough?

I can go all night.

Now, how about doing a little dance like you used to do

for me before I gave you this job?

Eat me.

I don't do that anymore.

Just do it!

Just do it.

(SMOOTH MUSIC)

That's it.

That's it.

Mm.

Come on, that's better, Raven.

(SMOOTH MUSIC)

Oh.

Oh, this is so fucking hot!

Out of your fucking mind?

DRAVEN: Get out of my room!

(DRAMATIC PIANO MUSIC)

(PUMP CLACKS)

(FOOTSTEPS TAPPING)

Not supposed to be sitting around.

I don't know who sent you,

come into my house to enjoy my women,

but you don't spend any money.

Do you?

Mr. Draven, you have a very receptive mind.

Hmm.

The fact that I'm kind of ordained to be here.

Kind of like the priest in the corner.

I'm here on a mission.

A long, long time mission.

- A mission, you say? - Mm-hmm.

You see, you can appreciate this.

I'm a hunter.

Mm-hmm.

And my prey is in your midst.

Ah.

In my midst, aye?

And what is it, Mr. Sandoval, that you hunt?

I hunt demons.

In fact, I was set to hunt one particular demon,

a nun, but much to my chagrin,

I come to find that there are two demons here.

Oh, is that correct?

So I can basically kill two

with one stone, so to speak.

Well, that would explain why you came here.

Yes.

And as for my future,

I don't care how it ends up for me.

My job will be accomplished.

120 years, I've been doing this, Mr. Draven.

I've gotten quite good at.

I see.

120 years, Mr. Sandoval,

and apparently you're not very good at, are you?

And how so?

Well, it's taking you all this time

to locate your demons.

But yet they still walk the earth.

- That is true. - Hmm.

Imagine my surprise

when the person hosting the demon,

is a demon himself.

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

Mr, Sandoval,

you accuse me of being one of your demons?

I am not accusing you, Mr. Draven.

I am telling you fact.

And I'm looking at you straight in the eye as I say it.

And I gotta say, here's the thing.

Whether I make it out of here alive or not,

I have this safe bet before I entered these premises.

Mm.

The difference is when the end comes, I go up there,

you go nowhere.

No, Mr. Sandoval. (LAUGHING)

You have quite an outlook on what's going on here

and yet I find you so full of shit.

Well, say what you want but in the end,

shit rolls downhill, pal.

(INTENSE MUSIC)

10 favorite horror movies.

I mean, I just hate horror movies

- "Scream" - because the black guy

always dies I the end.

- That's true, man. - That is true.

They're always the first one to go.

That's true, I never even thought about that,

but you're right.

MALDITO: What are you still doing here, holmes?

(ALL LAUGHING)

You know what I mean?

It's either the black guy

or the guy in the wheelchair that always dies.

- Oh, God. - Oh, man.

I like the chupacabra movie.

- Chupacabra? - Chupacabra?

Where are you, man?

Mexico.

No, we're in the United, oh my God!

Mr. Cool has left the room.

That sounds like a good scary movie.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm glad to see my guests

all enjoying themselves.

It's a wonderful night for scary stories, isn't it?

But if you want to know what scares me,

I would have to go back to my childhood,

when out for a drive with my family.

The car skidded off the road,

turned over,

and I was ejected into weeds.

I had to lay there and listen to my father,

who was trapped behind the steering wheel,

screaming my name.

I was the only one there who could help.

And yet, I was frozen with fear.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

And while I lay there frozen in fear,

I had to watch my...

They burst into flames.

My poor mother's face melting in the window.

As my father screamed for help,

I was the only one who could open the door,

but I could not move.

My friends, if you want to know fear,

experience immobilization.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

That, my friends, is fear,

when you cannot do anything about

what is causing your fear.

But here I stand today,

I've gotten through it.

Unlike my family.

The only good I can see that's come from that, though,

is that I never took up smoking.

Well that, Mr. Draven, is a riveting story.

(ALL APPLAUDING)

Better than a chupacabra.

- Mm. - Yes.

Enjoy yourselves.

- Have a good time. - Mm, we will.

(TIFFANY LAUGHING)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(DOOR CREAKING)

Oh, check out this cool new pimpin' shirt on me.

It looks swazy, yo.

The hell with them. Here's us.

I'll drink to that one.

All right. (LAUGHING)

(SCOFFS)

Hey look, look, I'm a pro football player.

Mm, okay.

So, I say we go have some fun.

Well take me to your field, big guy.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Let's go.

That sounds good to me.

(GROUP CHATTERING) (NUN LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

- (PENIS THUDDING) - What the fuck?

What the...

What the fuck is that?

- What is that shit? - Oh, my God.

Ooh, oh my God!

It's alive!

(ALL SCREAMING)

- Are you all right? - Oh my God!

Shit, oh my God!

(INTENSE MUSIC)

What the fuck? (SCREAMING)

- I don't know. - Come on,

let's see what's going on.

I'll protect you.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

(INDISTINCT)

We will always have our history.

- Okay. - Okay, man?

- Okay. - Let's kick their ass.

Yeah. All right.

I'll check it out.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

What the hell is going on?

(FLESH SQUELCHING) (MAN SCREAMING)

(NUN CHUCKLING)

(MAN SCREAMING)

(BLOOD SPURTING)

(MAN SCREAMING) (BLOOD SPURTING)

(ENTRAILS PLOPPING) (MAN GROANING)

(SPEAKS IN SPANISH)

Oh no.

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(NUN SNARLING) (MALDITO GRUNTING)

(NECK CRACKING) (MALDITO SCREAMING)

(HEAD TEARING)

(BLOOD SPURTING)

(NUN CHUCKLING)

(BODY THUDDING)

(NUN CHUCKLING)

I'm pissed. I'm getting the fuck out of here.

Fuck.

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(DOORKNOB CLATTERING)

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Fuck.

Uh!

Guys!

(INTENSE MUSIC)

Oh, yes.

Oh, shit!

(FIST WHACKS)

(INTENSE MUSIC) (HEIDI WHIMPERING)

(HOOK WHOOSHES) (FLESH SQUELCHING)

(HEIDI GROANING)

(DISTORTED VOICE)

(NUN SHRIEKING)

(EYEBALL SQUISHING)

- What the fuck? - Oh my God,

what the fuck is...

- It's a severed drain. - Oh, shit.

What the fuck, man?

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

There will be no police.

And no one will leave.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(CHUCKLING) And if you would all be so kind

to put your cell phones over there on the table, now.

MAN: He's got a gun!

Yo man, put the gun down.

You better be ready to know how to use that thing.

(LAUGHING) I can assure you, Mr. Sandoval,

I do.

Yo man, put the fucking gun down.

Uh.

Would you like to play cock of the walk with me

Hmm?

Would you like to play, chucko?

(CHUCKLING) Well do you, chucko?

No.

(LAUGHING) I didn't think so,

because we all know now

that I've got the biggest cock in the room.

And this is my room.

And this is (CHUCKLES) my house!

And I will decide how to deal with this problem.

And I won't hesitate for a moment to put a bullet in anyone

who interferes with my girls or my home.

We're all neck deep in Shit's Creek here

with our mouths wide open.

Well then learn to tread water, my friend.

(TIFFANY WHIMPERING)

- Oh my God! - Oh my God!

- Oh my God! - What is it?

- Oh my God! - I'm getting

the fuck out of here!

Oh my God, what is that?

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

I need help, I need to do something!

I need help, I need to do something right now.

(TIFFANY GASPING AND CHOKING) (HEELS TAPPING)

(FLESH RIPPING)

(TIFFANY GASPING)

(BODY THUDDING)

Where's my fucking girl, ugly?

- I got something. - I don't give a shit.

You're a priest, man. Motherfucker.

(FIST WHACKING)

I thought the black guy was supposed to live?

(NECK SNAPPING)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(NUN SNARLING) (BLOOD SPURTING)

(FLESH SQUELCHING) (NUN CHUCKLING)

Mr. Draven!

Father, you will be going nowhere.

I didn't do anything to deserve this.

No, you've done plenty to deserve this, my friend.

You come to my place and you've defiled this.

(DRAVEN CHUCKLING)

The power of God.

(DRAVEN LAUGHING)

The power of God compels you.

- You have little faith - The power...

(BONES CRACKING) in God.

Hey, assholes!

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(MATEO GROANING)

You puny woman.

(LAUGHING) You come here to destroy

what we have created,

which is a machine!

You've been blind to fresh flesh and souls.

(LAUGHING) That gun will do nothing.

We will destroy you!

(INTENSE MUSIC)

I got a one silver bullet in here

and it's got your name on it.

(GUN FIRING) (DRAVEN CHUCKLES)

(BULLET THUDDING) (DRAVEN GASPING)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(DRAVEN GASPING)

(NUN WHIMPERING)

Shoot her! Shoot her!

(NUN CHUCKLING)

I got this.

I can only hold it off so long.

This is our chance to get out of here.

Ready to go?

- I'm ready. - Let's go, kid.

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(NUN GROWLING)

(NUN SHRIEKING)

She doesn't want me to leave, kid.

You're free to go.

No, I told you, I'm here to save souls.

This is my battle, not yours.

Boy, you better step up your game

because you don't know what you're dealing with.

I'm ready for this bitch.

This has gotta stop.

This has to work.

Bloody Mary.

Bloody Mary.

Bloody Mary.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(SCREAMING)

(BLOOD SPURTING)

(GASPING)

Here, kid.

This is the only thing that's gonna kill her.

Now I've been around a while,

my body's getting weak.

I don't think I can do this much longer.

This is where we have to make a stand.

Our only shot is to get out of here

by killing her or die trying.

And we may not make it.

Are you up for this?

I'm ready.

I hope so.

Let's do this.

(NUN SNARLING) (INTENSE MUSIC)

(FLESH SQUELCHING)

Get back, demon!

(NUN SNARLING)

(DOOR SLAMS)

It's not looking good, man.

- Look- - I need you though.

You gotta take this knife out of me.

I can't do that.

You have to.

Use your faith.

Battle this bitch.

You're the only one that can do it now.

I'm too old, weak.

I'm mortally wounded here.

I'm not gonna make it.

My time is done.

I'm passing it off to you.

Pull the knife out.

Use your faith.

Battle this bitch.

Take the knife and do it.

You ready?

Ready.

I'm gonna make you proud.

(FLESH SQUELCHING)

May the Lord be with you.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(SIGHS)

(GROWLS SOFTLY)

Let's go, bitch.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Let's see if she's gonna wanna suck on this.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

I can do this.

Demon, proud demon,

show yourself.

(INTENSE MUSIC)

Don't hide.

Oh, shit.

(INTENSE MUSIC)

I know you're in there, demon.

Demon?

Come on, demon.

(DISTORTED VOICE)

Show yourself.

(NUN SHRIEKING)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(NUN ROARING)

Oh, so you wanna play?

(DISTORTED VOICE)

Yeah, why don't you suck on this?

(DISTORTED VOICE)

What the freak!

(STATIC BUZZING)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

Bitch, I know you ain't dead.

(NUN SNARLING) (FLESH SQUELCHING)

(NUN SHRIEKING)

♪ Ave, Maria ♪ (BLOOD SPURTING)

(NUN SHRIEKING)

(BLOOD SPURTING)

This is how you fucking save a soul.

(DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC)

(DEMON SHRIEKING)

(DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC)

Dean?

Baby?

Dean?

Dean?

Dean?

Dean?

Oh my, Dean?

Oh, what happened to you, Dean?

Dean?

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(DRAVEN ROARING) (FAITH SCREAMING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition

of "Ella's Paranormal Investigations."

Now today, we will be interviewing a gentleman

by the name of Hunk.

He survived the demon nun massacre,

and he wrote a book about it too.

Some say he's making this entire thing up.

So naturally, I want you to give him the opportunity

to tell his side of the story

so we can find out the truth once and for all.

Let's go to the interview now.

Hello Hunk, welcome to the show.

My name is Hugh Edwards.

I'm a journalist and author.

My friends call me Hunk.

You're not my friend, Ella.

Okay. So let's get straight into this.

I really, really wanted to get you on the show

so that you could basically tell your side of the story.

So many people have just completely

debunked your side of things.

And basically Cluster was insane.

Insane?

Insane?

How can I be insane when I saw that demon

and battled it with my own eyes and body.

That thing, put a hook, a meat hook through my shoulder.

I had a battle with that thing and you're calling me crazy?

Okay.

Don't get aggressive with me, mate.

I will end this interview if I have to.

I'm sorry, but in order for you to listen to me

and really understand me,

I have to tell you and show you

what I went through in that cabin.

Yes, but there is no evidence supporting your claims.

Not one body found.

No nun, no dead vloggers,

no millionaire.

Yeah, it's strange that Paranormal Tim and the Ghost Boys

went missing after your claims,

but still nothing to support your story.

People leave social media and their video vlogs

all the time.

No supporting evidence.

Is that in your question, Ella?

Well Let me tell you something.

Paranormal Tim got a hook right through his crotch.

I saw it.

I was there. The Ghost Boys, they turned into fucking demons

and unfortunately I had to kill them with a hammer.

I'd crack their skulls open,

and well, Shiva,

that guy's responsible for the whole thing.

He had some kind of amulet

that controlled the nun

and summoned this thing from hell.

That thing tried to kill me and my friends.

Hmm, okay.

So you were also tied to Becky E. right?

Another paranormal investigator like myself.

She has also been off the grid.

Hunk, do you know if her whereabouts?

No, I don't know the whereabouts

of my girlfriend, Becky E.

Yes, YouTube blogger, Becky E.

She had the amulet and something happened to her.

It changed her, her and Rico.

Do you mean Rico Vega?

The drug addict who was making up fake hauntings

to take people's money?

Yeah, it's Rico Vega.

He's my friend, Rico.

He's a good guy.

I used to think the same thing about him,

but the man saved my life that night.

So I would do anything to save his.

Listen.

Becky.

Please baby, if you're out there,

listen to me.

You know I love you and I miss you.

And I will find you.

If anybody in your audience

or anybody has any information about Becky,

you know how to contact me.

Well, I think we all know about Becky's troubled history

and making up some videos with her buddy, Rico.

But I really want to focus on you, Hunk.

I want to believe your story.

And I think our viewers will agree

that it is such a good story.

You said you were Becky's cameraman that night.

So why don't you have any video footage of what happened?

Well you know, that's actually where you're wrong.

I do have footage to show you and your audience.

You wanna know about the nun?

I'll show you.

(STATIC BUZZING)

Oh.

Okay.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SIGHS)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

Hunk, can you please stop the video?

(INTENSE MUSIC)

Hunk, can you please stop the video?

I can't watch anymore.

And we're also live.

(INTENSE MUSIC)

The bloody nun is real.

I told you.

I told you all

the nun is still out there.

Becky, I love you, baby.

I'm coming to get you.

But you all have to listen me now.

The nun is still out there!

I thought I destroyed it, but she is still out there!

(SIGHS)

The nun is back.

I'm coming for you.

(STATIC BUZZING)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(NUN SNARLING)

(INTENSE MUSIC)

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

(OMINOUS MUSIC) (MANIACAL LAUGHING)