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- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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♪ ♪
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[SHRIEKS]
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[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
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[BURPS]
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[TIRES SCREECH]
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D'oh!
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[GRUNTS]
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Refill!
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♪ ♪
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HOMER: Kids,
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00:00:44,183 --> 00:00:45,284
is there anything better
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00:00:45,317 --> 00:00:47,954
than when a restaurant
misprints a coupon?
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00:00:47,986 --> 00:00:50,389
- [SNAPS FINGERS]
- And with the money we saved,
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00:00:50,422 --> 00:00:53,892
your mom is getting a Swedish massage.
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[EXHALES] All the tension's going
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00:00:56,829 --> 00:00:58,464
[IN PATTY'S VOICE]: out of my body.
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00:00:58,497 --> 00:01:00,633
[GUTTURAL MOANS]
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00:01:00,665 --> 00:01:03,302
Now let's take one deep breath
of this classy place
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00:01:03,335 --> 00:01:05,537
before we go back to our lousy car.
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00:01:05,571 --> 00:01:07,906
- [ALL INHALING]
- [FRENCH ACCENT]: Excuse me,
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00:01:07,940 --> 00:01:10,376
that air is the property
of this restaurant.
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Fine, I'll give it back.
[BELCHES LOUDLY]
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00:01:12,378 --> 00:01:14,914
[LAUGHTER]
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00:01:14,947 --> 00:01:16,516
- Good one.
- [BELCHES]
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- [BELCHES]
- Memory book.
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00:01:19,518 --> 00:01:21,153
Okay, kids. I admit we hustled
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00:01:21,186 --> 00:01:22,855
the restaurant there, but that's it.
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I don't want you to think
this is the way
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you get ahead in life.
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Do not take advantage
of someone else's mistakes.
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00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:31,530
- Your car, sir.
- But that's not...
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[HEAVENLY CHORUS]
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You see that, kids?
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00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:36,836
It's the kind of car
they don't make anymore.
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00:01:36,869 --> 00:01:39,504
Windshield that breaks into
a thousand glass razor blades.
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Your lap is the cup holder.
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Vinyl seats that can melt your ass.
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God, do I want to drive it.
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[SHUDDERS]: Oh... so useless.
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This is the car I've always wanted.
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00:01:52,952 --> 00:01:54,686
You'll never have a car this nice.
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00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,555
You'll never have
a girlfriend this cute.
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00:01:56,589 --> 00:01:57,956
That's right!
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And you'll never have
exhaust this toxic.
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[TIRES SCREECH]
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Oh, I need this.
I've always needed this.
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00:02:07,265 --> 00:02:09,067
Get in, kids, get in.
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Dad, what were you just telling us?
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This is morally wr...
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00:02:12,770 --> 00:02:15,240
Whee!
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Pull every knob. Press all the buttons.
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Find out what things do.
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00:02:20,412 --> 00:02:21,748
[GRUNTING]
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Don't you "chitty chitty bang bang" me!
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00:02:26,619 --> 00:02:28,621
- [GRUNTING]
- ["CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG" PLAYING]
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Ooh, what's this crank for?
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00:02:34,627 --> 00:02:36,095
Duh, rolling down the window.
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00:02:36,127 --> 00:02:38,497
Hmm. How do I put on
the air conditioning?
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00:02:38,531 --> 00:02:40,599
Uh, you're doing it.
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00:02:40,633 --> 00:02:42,735
Aw, cool. An ashtray.
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00:02:42,768 --> 00:02:45,003
[GASPS] A full ashtray!
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Uh-uh-uh! Bad, bad, bad!
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Ah, smooth. Bad, bad.
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[SMALL CAR HONKS]
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[HONKS]
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Now, to tie them in a bow.
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00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:01,153
[GRUNTS]
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00:03:01,187 --> 00:03:04,791
My husband... he's doing
something incredibly stupid.
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Look at this beautiful color.
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Seafoam. This is what
cars used to look like.
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And what the sea used to look like.
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- [TIRES SCREECH]
- LISA AND BART: Whee!
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Whoa!
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Put this on the list of things
we don't tell your mother.
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00:03:21,206 --> 00:03:23,075
Including the fact there is a list.
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LISA: Aw, it's over.
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00:03:26,177 --> 00:03:28,114
Now, to teach you kids a life lesson.
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00:03:28,146 --> 00:03:31,650
Moments of pure joy
always have consequences.
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00:03:31,683 --> 00:03:32,984
We already knew that.
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Yeah. Why do you think we exist?
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Quick! Put on your innocent faces.
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Innocenter... innocenter.
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Uh, yeah, I'm, uh, I'm sorry,
you gave me the wrong car.
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The moment I realized,
I brought it back immediately.
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00:03:47,399 --> 00:03:49,367
You stole my car.
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00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:53,639
My precious 1957 Cadillac
Eldorado Biarritz convertible
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00:03:53,671 --> 00:03:57,075
in the original seafoam,
with the illegal brodie knob.
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00:03:57,109 --> 00:04:00,479
Oh, God. Tell me right now you
did not touch my brodie knob.
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00:04:00,512 --> 00:04:02,480
Absolutely not.
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00:04:02,514 --> 00:04:04,516
This is the brodie knob.
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00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:06,552
Oh. I was all over that thing.
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00:04:06,585 --> 00:04:08,054
You're in big trouble.
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00:04:08,086 --> 00:04:10,322
They're gonna charge you
with grand theft auto.
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00:04:10,355 --> 00:04:13,226
A lousy game but a magnificent law.
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00:04:13,258 --> 00:04:15,560
Listen, I'm sorry. Really sorry.
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I just wanted to give my kids a ride,
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show them the house I was born in,
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00:04:19,764 --> 00:04:21,533
show them the house I'm gonna die in,
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00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:22,702
then drive through
a cornfield for kicks.
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Whoo-hoo!
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00:04:25,204 --> 00:04:27,673
I gave you the USS Enterprise,
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00:04:27,706 --> 00:04:31,077
and you returned with the Orville!
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00:04:31,110 --> 00:04:33,746
I am so sorry. You're absolutely right.
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00:04:33,778 --> 00:04:35,281
I'll get it fixed by a pro.
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00:04:35,314 --> 00:04:37,516
I'll get you a license plate
frame saying
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00:04:37,548 --> 00:04:40,552
"My other car is a..."
insert dumb movie reference.
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00:04:40,586 --> 00:04:43,122
Tron Legacy Light-Cycle. Well, okay.
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00:04:43,154 --> 00:04:46,726
I suppose I could allow you to...
oh, God!
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00:04:46,759 --> 00:04:48,227
No!
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00:04:48,259 --> 00:04:52,632
My mint condition copy
of Radioactive Man number one!
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00:04:52,665 --> 00:04:53,733
[GRUNTS]
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This was the comic I always wanted most
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00:04:55,934 --> 00:04:58,404
since I was an athletic, popular child.
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00:04:58,437 --> 00:04:59,905
Look, you're a nice guy.
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00:04:59,937 --> 00:05:03,408
When have you ever seen me
be a nice guy?!
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00:05:03,442 --> 00:05:06,446
I am pressing charges!
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00:05:09,615 --> 00:05:10,650
Is this yours?
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00:05:10,682 --> 00:05:12,784
Yes.
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Simpson, get on the bike.
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Put your arms around me.
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00:05:17,255 --> 00:05:20,558
Now, head on my shoulder.
Yeah... aw, that's nice.
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00:05:20,591 --> 00:05:22,461
And don't lean the same way I do
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[CHUCKLES]: or we're both dead.
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00:05:23,629 --> 00:05:25,598
Uh, by the way, you're under arrest.
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00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:28,133
Uh, doesn't the law say
I need a helmet, too?
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00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:29,935
Another law you're breaking.
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00:05:33,271 --> 00:05:35,240
Why are you riding a motorcycle?
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00:05:35,274 --> 00:05:37,076
It's not for fun! I got arrested!
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00:05:37,108 --> 00:05:39,012
That's worse!
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Your Honor, I'm scared.
Okay, I screwed up.
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If you'll permit, may I read
a speech in my defense?
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Did your daughter write it?
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00:05:47,519 --> 00:05:49,120
Absolutely not.
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00:05:49,153 --> 00:05:51,589
Sir, if an opportunity came along
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00:05:51,622 --> 00:05:53,959
to give your kids
a memory they'll never forget,
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00:05:53,992 --> 00:05:56,162
wouldn't you hop in the driver's seat?
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00:05:56,194 --> 00:05:58,764
A golden day with their dad.
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00:05:58,797 --> 00:06:01,200
What could be more innocent?
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00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:04,170
All I know is that
as that gas gauge read empty,
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00:06:04,202 --> 00:06:07,305
our hearts were full. Full of love.
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00:06:07,339 --> 00:06:12,812
Love of what our country does
BEST: build cars 60 years ago!
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00:06:12,844 --> 00:06:14,312
[SNIFFLING]
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00:06:14,346 --> 00:06:17,449
I'm a judge. But I'm also a father.
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00:06:17,483 --> 00:06:19,384
A father whose ex-wife
only lets him see the kids
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00:06:19,418 --> 00:06:22,187
on summers and Christmas.
I don't need you to rub it in.
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00:06:22,221 --> 00:06:23,689
I find the defendant guilty.
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00:06:23,721 --> 00:06:26,291
Your Honor, I'm not the one
on trial here.
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00:06:26,324 --> 00:06:27,892
Yes, you are.
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00:06:27,925 --> 00:06:29,461
[ALL GASPING]
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00:06:29,495 --> 00:06:32,965
"Hire a lawyer," I said.
"Waste of money," he said.
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00:06:32,997 --> 00:06:36,836
This is what I spend my time
in courtroom audiences for.
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00:06:36,868 --> 00:06:38,437
This is my Starbucks.
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00:06:43,074 --> 00:06:44,242
Two weeks.
Two weeks to turn this around.
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00:06:44,276 --> 00:06:45,877
Lisa, can we get the state
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00:06:45,911 --> 00:06:47,812
to change its sentencing guidelines
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00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:49,048
in the next two weeks?
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00:06:49,081 --> 00:06:52,151
Ah, the legislative calendar
is pretty full.
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00:06:52,184 --> 00:06:54,553
And they take off
the second week for Easter.
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00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:57,857
Roman Easter! To the Byzantine
world, it's nothing!
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00:06:57,889 --> 00:07:01,226
I'm afraid we have to prepare
for the possibility
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00:07:01,259 --> 00:07:03,562
that you might go to prison.
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00:07:03,594 --> 00:07:07,299
ANNOUNCER: The Arts and
Incarceration Channel presents...
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00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:10,529
When soft men do hard time.
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00:07:10,601 --> 00:07:13,572
INTERVIEWER: What advice would
you give to a new inmate?
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00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:15,408
Everything can be a weapon.
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00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,411
I saw a guy get his eye gouged
with uncooked spaghetti.
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00:07:18,444 --> 00:07:20,746
You sound like you've seen a lot.
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00:07:20,778 --> 00:07:24,216
I've seen things and done things
I ain't proud of.
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00:07:24,249 --> 00:07:25,418
And I'm the chaplain.
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00:07:25,451 --> 00:07:27,686
I can't take this, Marge.
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00:07:27,718 --> 00:07:30,889
Maybe I can make peace
with Comic Book Guy.
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00:07:30,923 --> 00:07:32,891
Do you think so? He's an angry man.
174
00:07:32,925 --> 00:07:36,595
His favorite thing is Star Wars,
and he hates Star Wars.
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00:07:36,627 --> 00:07:38,229
I'll talk to him.
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00:07:38,262 --> 00:07:41,599
Careful, Marge.
He's a lazy, overweight slob.
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00:07:41,632 --> 00:07:43,402
Don't fall in love with him.
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00:07:47,406 --> 00:07:51,444
Comic Book Guy,
my husband is really sorry.
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00:07:51,476 --> 00:07:55,079
Okay, he screwed up.
But he doesn't belong in prison.
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00:07:55,113 --> 00:07:57,882
I beg to differ.
That car is very special to me.
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00:07:57,915 --> 00:07:59,752
When I was young,
my father took me in it to...
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00:07:59,785 --> 00:08:02,655
- Buy comic books?
- No, not comic books.
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00:08:02,687 --> 00:08:04,956
Everything in my life
is not comic books, okay?
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00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,658
We bought baseball cards.
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00:08:06,692 --> 00:08:09,762
Look, we'll detail your car
and fix your comic book.
186
00:08:09,795 --> 00:08:13,399
This is not about my car.
It is about me getting respect.
187
00:08:13,432 --> 00:08:16,235
I want all the Little Lulus
five dollars can buy.
188
00:08:16,267 --> 00:08:18,570
And make it snappy, Blobba the Hutt.
189
00:08:18,603 --> 00:08:22,074
Jabba is actually quite slim!
For a Hutt.
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00:08:22,106 --> 00:08:23,608
Just get the Lulus.
191
00:08:23,641 --> 00:08:26,012
Or I'll take my business
to Build-A-Bear.
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00:08:27,445 --> 00:08:29,848
Here you go. Five dollars'
worth of Little Lulus.
193
00:08:31,850 --> 00:08:34,453
As for you, I am not budging.
194
00:08:34,486 --> 00:08:37,756
Like the door of Superman's
Fortress of Solitude
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00:08:37,789 --> 00:08:40,593
when the Beatles tried to visit.
Pure folly.
196
00:08:40,626 --> 00:08:42,828
That comic is noncanonical.
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00:08:42,861 --> 00:08:46,198
The only thing noncanonical
in my store is Snoopy
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00:08:46,231 --> 00:08:50,536
dressed as Sgt. Rock
for an ill-timed Vietnam war ad.
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00:08:50,569 --> 00:08:54,139
I see. Well, I'm sorry
to have bothered you.
200
00:08:54,171 --> 00:08:56,274
Yes, don't let the door hit you
on the way out.
201
00:08:56,308 --> 00:08:58,277
No, seriously. It's just been painted.
202
00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:01,347
Oh. That's what being nice gets you.
203
00:09:02,747 --> 00:09:06,718
Mom, Dad, I think I found
the answer on the Internet!
204
00:09:06,752 --> 00:09:09,154
Lisa, nothing good
ever comes from YouTube.
205
00:09:09,186 --> 00:09:12,023
Except ducks eating watermelon.
206
00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:20,232
No, no. Sentencing mitigation videos.
207
00:09:20,265 --> 00:09:22,234
People have had
their jail terms reduced,
208
00:09:22,266 --> 00:09:24,502
or even gotten off death row
209
00:09:24,536 --> 00:09:27,573
by producing slick
video appeals to the judge.
210
00:09:27,606 --> 00:09:31,710
Finally, a way for rich people
to bend the system their way.
211
00:09:31,742 --> 00:09:33,712
Mr. Burns got off the hook once
212
00:09:33,744 --> 00:09:37,382
by using a video directed
by Guillermo del Toro.
213
00:09:37,415 --> 00:09:40,886
Hello, I am, uh, film director
Guillermo del Toro.
214
00:09:40,919 --> 00:09:45,057
Uh, when I was a young boy,
I fell in love with monsters.
215
00:09:45,089 --> 00:09:48,393
Frankenstein's monster,
King Kong, Son of Kong,
216
00:09:48,426 --> 00:09:50,863
Nosferatu, Godzilla, Mechagodzilla,
217
00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:52,565
Godzilla's nephew Godzooky,
218
00:09:52,598 --> 00:09:54,233
Mothra the caterpillar, Mothra the moth,
219
00:09:54,266 --> 00:09:56,068
the Blob from The Blob...
220
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,736
and Godzilla's cousin, Sheldon Godzilla.
221
00:09:58,770 --> 00:10:01,340
Lesser known but equally horrifying.
222
00:10:01,372 --> 00:10:04,742
Monsters, yes.
But they are capable of love.
223
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:07,512
Which brings us to Montgomery Burns.
224
00:10:07,545 --> 00:10:09,080
Oh, hello.
225
00:10:09,113 --> 00:10:10,682
Did someone mention me?
226
00:10:10,715 --> 00:10:13,084
DEL TORO: From birth, he was not wanted.
227
00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:17,388
Then came the real monsters:
228
00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:20,459
the bullies that hated him
just because he was wealthy.
229
00:10:20,492 --> 00:10:22,495
And maybe he rubbed it in a little.
230
00:10:28,065 --> 00:10:30,603
But no one knows the real Mr. Burns.
231
00:10:43,114 --> 00:10:44,816
I love Señor Burns.
232
00:10:44,849 --> 00:10:46,284
Who are you?
233
00:10:46,318 --> 00:10:48,554
He combines the ancient evil of Cthulhu
234
00:10:48,587 --> 00:10:50,923
with the trim physique of Slender Man.
235
00:10:50,955 --> 00:10:53,825
Señor Burns demonstrates
that in all so-called monsters
236
00:10:53,858 --> 00:10:56,060
beats a heart. Thank you for listening.
237
00:10:56,093 --> 00:10:57,396
And thank you, Georgia Film Commission,
238
00:10:57,429 --> 00:10:58,964
for the 22% discount.
239
00:10:58,997 --> 00:11:01,400
I'll see you wherever
free people congregate.
240
00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:03,235
Like the Yale Club.
241
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:06,439
[ORCHESTRAL FANFARE]
242
00:11:09,107 --> 00:11:12,243
Wow. Maybe I've been
all wrong about evil.
243
00:11:12,276 --> 00:11:15,413
Once again, Mr. del Toro
stripped away the darkness
244
00:11:15,446 --> 00:11:17,415
and found beauty at its core.
245
00:11:17,449 --> 00:11:19,618
Like that fish-snuggling movie.
246
00:11:21,353 --> 00:11:22,320
Excuse me.
247
00:11:22,353 --> 00:11:24,089
[COUGHS]
248
00:11:24,122 --> 00:11:26,925
Ah... you told me you've
never been to Missouri.
249
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,428
You're right, honey.
Hollywood can solve anything.
250
00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:31,964
Except its own lack
of creativity and diversity.
251
00:11:31,997 --> 00:11:33,665
Now, how do we make this thing?
252
00:11:33,699 --> 00:11:36,035
I think we should use a videographer.
253
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:37,737
There's one left in town.
254
00:11:39,738 --> 00:11:42,107
I will do anything
for your wedding video.
255
00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:46,211
Color, black and white, or
Polaroid Swinger, cha cha cha.
256
00:11:46,243 --> 00:11:48,714
I gotta warn you,
my camera hand is shaky
257
00:11:48,747 --> 00:11:51,883
because I have
a major vitamin E deficiency.
258
00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:54,887
No problemo. It works fine if you just
259
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,221
nod your head like this...
260
00:11:56,253 --> 00:11:58,257
[WARBLING]
261
00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:03,695
You know, we could just do it ourselves.
262
00:12:03,728 --> 00:12:07,599
Yeah. Those are the words
that are killing my profession.
263
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,302
Now you say nice things about me.
264
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:11,670
So what is it you're looking for?
265
00:12:11,703 --> 00:12:14,173
Words or something? Uh, human words?
266
00:12:14,205 --> 00:12:17,842
Okay, uh, Homer Simpson,
uh, well, real family man.
267
00:12:17,876 --> 00:12:20,079
Yeah. Always brings his kids
into the bar.
268
00:12:20,112 --> 00:12:22,915
Not one of them aristocrats
who gets all bent out of shape
269
00:12:22,948 --> 00:12:24,583
when there's a mouse in his beer.
270
00:12:24,616 --> 00:12:27,352
Hey, Moe. I need you to file a
serial number off a wheelchair.
271
00:12:27,385 --> 00:12:28,520
HOMER: Cut!
272
00:12:28,553 --> 00:12:31,056
Hmm... Homer Simpson?
How can I put this?
273
00:12:31,089 --> 00:12:34,992
Ah, we've never had an employee
get rehired so many times.
274
00:12:35,026 --> 00:12:38,162
Homer Simpson has two children
enrolled in our school.
275
00:12:38,195 --> 00:12:40,266
That's all I'm comfortable saying.
276
00:12:41,867 --> 00:12:43,736
All right, let's see what you got.
277
00:12:43,768 --> 00:12:45,904
I had to edit a little.
278
00:12:46,938 --> 00:12:48,941
Homer Simpson. Family man.
279
00:12:48,973 --> 00:12:50,608
Happy. Aristocrat.
280
00:12:50,641 --> 00:12:52,176
Too. Cool. Comfortable.
281
00:12:52,209 --> 00:12:54,579
Homer is a... grace to the family.
282
00:12:54,613 --> 00:12:56,614
He is an ape... le father.
283
00:12:56,647 --> 00:12:59,183
I warned Marge... marry him.
284
00:12:59,217 --> 00:13:02,554
That's the best you can do? I'm screwed!
285
00:13:02,587 --> 00:13:05,390
Not while I can use Final Cut Pro.
286
00:13:05,422 --> 00:13:06,924
We'll start from scratch.
287
00:13:06,958 --> 00:13:09,895
Using the only two things
people still believe in:
288
00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:11,563
babies and dogs.
289
00:13:11,595 --> 00:13:12,697
[SNOWBALL II MEOWS SADLY]
290
00:13:12,731 --> 00:13:15,400
Sorry, Snowball, cats are polarizing.
291
00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:17,569
[MEOWS SYMPATHETICALLY]
292
00:13:17,602 --> 00:13:19,938
[SIGHS] Please...
293
00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:23,441
just give us something we can use.
294
00:13:27,746 --> 00:13:28,714
We're ready.
295
00:13:28,747 --> 00:13:31,083
Oh, now the dog won't cooperate.
296
00:13:31,116 --> 00:13:33,953
There's a trick that always
works with Kevin James.
297
00:13:36,621 --> 00:13:38,023
[PANTING]
298
00:13:41,092 --> 00:13:43,495
♪ I think I'll color
this man father... ♪
299
00:13:43,527 --> 00:13:45,596
MARGE: He's a guy who gets off at 5:00
300
00:13:45,630 --> 00:13:48,734
and comes directly home
to be with his kids.
301
00:13:48,766 --> 00:13:51,402
♪ Said I'm gonna color him father ♪
302
00:13:51,435 --> 00:13:53,104
♪ Color him father... ♪
303
00:13:53,137 --> 00:13:57,607
He's incredibly generous
to his friends and neighbors.
304
00:13:58,542 --> 00:14:02,246
In his spare time,
he loves PTA meetings.
305
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,483
Helping with the Cub Scouts.
306
00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:07,084
Or just going to the movies.
307
00:14:07,117 --> 00:14:09,087
This is Maggie, our baby.
308
00:14:09,119 --> 00:14:11,756
And she understands what's going on.
309
00:14:11,790 --> 00:14:15,160
She's never said a word,
but I get the feeling
310
00:14:15,193 --> 00:14:18,163
she wants to say something now.
311
00:14:18,195 --> 00:14:20,998
Nee... Da... dy.
312
00:14:21,031 --> 00:14:23,536
What a man.
313
00:14:24,736 --> 00:14:26,705
And now we pray.
314
00:14:26,738 --> 00:14:28,473
Bless us, O Lord,
for this bountiful feast...
315
00:14:28,506 --> 00:14:30,007
Not that prayer.
316
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,010
I must say, I am impressed.
317
00:14:32,042 --> 00:14:34,979
So, unless the prosecution has
a rebuttal, I'm inclined to...
318
00:14:35,012 --> 00:14:37,281
Not... so... fast.
319
00:14:37,315 --> 00:14:38,883
Do you have a video, too?
320
00:14:38,916 --> 00:14:40,886
No, that would be pretentious.
321
00:14:40,919 --> 00:14:43,928
- Very well, then.
- I have a speech.
322
00:14:43,952 --> 00:14:45,206
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
323
00:14:45,231 --> 00:14:47,826
Comic book sales is
a very fragile field.
324
00:14:47,858 --> 00:14:50,728
Kids hate to read,
the stores smell like farts
325
00:14:50,762 --> 00:14:54,165
- and bubble gum...
- [MURMURING IN AGREEMENT]
326
00:14:54,199 --> 00:14:57,902
Then the things I cherish most...
my father's car,
327
00:14:57,935 --> 00:15:01,006
my precious, precious comic,
and most important,
328
00:15:01,039 --> 00:15:03,542
my dignity... were taken from me.
329
00:15:04,742 --> 00:15:07,145
I'm just your ordinary
small businessman.
330
00:15:07,178 --> 00:15:09,715
Never took anything from anyone.
331
00:15:09,747 --> 00:15:14,319
But I did dare to think
I would be treated with respect.
332
00:15:14,352 --> 00:15:17,723
I have so many fictional heroes,
Your Honor.
333
00:15:17,756 --> 00:15:21,260
For once, please give me a real one.
334
00:15:22,761 --> 00:15:24,730
[GRUNTS]
335
00:15:24,762 --> 00:15:26,998
Best. Courtroom speech. Ever.
336
00:15:27,031 --> 00:15:27,999
Yes!
337
00:15:28,032 --> 00:15:30,067
I will render my sentence tomorrow.
338
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:31,769
I thank you. Good night.
339
00:15:31,803 --> 00:15:33,071
Boom.
340
00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:34,906
Wait, wait, wait.
Do you want to go to a movie?
341
00:15:34,940 --> 00:15:36,675
I'll go to a movie with you, Judge.
342
00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:38,544
- You won't be available.
- Oh.
343
00:15:43,781 --> 00:15:45,416
Dad, the computer says...
344
00:15:45,449 --> 00:15:47,920
That computer has brought me
nothing but trouble
345
00:15:47,953 --> 00:15:50,389
and sports scores while I'm at church!
346
00:15:50,421 --> 00:15:52,290
A store in Ogdenville just put up
347
00:15:52,324 --> 00:15:54,793
the same Radioactive Man comic
that we destroyed
348
00:15:54,825 --> 00:15:56,728
in perfect condition.
349
00:15:56,761 --> 00:15:58,697
It's my last hope at freedom.
350
00:15:58,729 --> 00:16:01,632
I mean, how much could
an old comic cost?
351
00:16:01,665 --> 00:16:03,669
[WHISPERING]
352
00:16:17,648 --> 00:16:19,651
[WHISPERING]
353
00:16:22,786 --> 00:16:24,455
- Are you done?
- No.
354
00:16:24,488 --> 00:16:27,425
[WHISPERING]
355
00:16:27,459 --> 00:16:28,993
[TIRES SCREECH]
356
00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:41,238
You can't be closed.
It's Tuesday at 4:30!
357
00:16:41,271 --> 00:16:46,078
Do you not see the "closed" sign
written in Wakandan?
358
00:16:46,111 --> 00:16:49,081
And I wasted high school
learning German.
359
00:16:49,113 --> 00:16:51,248
Was fur eine Schande!
360
00:16:51,281 --> 00:16:55,319
Well, German is Earth's closest
language to Klingon.
361
00:16:55,353 --> 00:16:56,622
Come on in.
362
00:17:16,007 --> 00:17:16,975
What do you want?
363
00:17:17,007 --> 00:17:18,677
I'm extremely busy.
364
00:17:22,013 --> 00:17:24,083
Mm-hmm.
365
00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:26,450
I want to talk to you.
366
00:17:26,484 --> 00:17:29,721
I see we have reached the
epilogue of our little drama.
367
00:17:29,754 --> 00:17:33,792
[SCREAMS] No, not the epilogue.
Still plot. Still plot!
368
00:17:33,824 --> 00:17:35,559
Look, I know we've had our differences,
369
00:17:35,593 --> 00:17:37,195
but we can still be friends.
370
00:17:37,228 --> 00:17:39,831
Like when Superman teamed up
with Lex Luthor.
371
00:17:39,863 --> 00:17:43,334
That was an imaginary story
written by Harlan Ellison
372
00:17:43,368 --> 00:17:44,903
because he wanted to get fired.
373
00:17:44,936 --> 00:17:48,673
Well, maybe this will
tickle your ponytail.
374
00:17:48,706 --> 00:17:50,175
- [BOING]
- [GASPS]
375
00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:53,812
The Ogdenville copy! It lives!
376
00:17:53,844 --> 00:17:54,746
Am I forgiven?
377
00:17:54,778 --> 00:17:56,147
I'm afraid not. No.
378
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:59,151
I don't have a choice.
The grudge is still inside me.
379
00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:02,887
Which is also the name of
a low-budget Roger Corman movie.
380
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,689
Oh! What does it take?
381
00:18:04,721 --> 00:18:06,724
How to explain what I am feeling.
382
00:18:06,757 --> 00:18:09,527
Uh... look around. What do you see?
383
00:18:09,561 --> 00:18:12,064
Uh... a bunch of stuff
that other people threw out?
384
00:18:12,096 --> 00:18:14,065
Like a mirror, you see everything
385
00:18:14,099 --> 00:18:16,535
but understand nothing. Get out.
386
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:19,036
[SIGHS] Let's go.
387
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:20,372
Oh, my God! Oh!
388
00:18:20,404 --> 00:18:23,776
Is that a season one
Welcome Back, Kotter key chain?
389
00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:26,777
It is! The proof...
390
00:18:26,811 --> 00:18:29,448
a John Travolta
who is happy to be there!
391
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,084
How did you get this?
392
00:18:32,116 --> 00:18:33,951
[APPLAUSE ON TV]
393
00:18:35,085 --> 00:18:36,887
Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Max?
394
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,422
He was the halfback in the family.
395
00:18:38,456 --> 00:18:40,525
If you gave him a sandwich,
you got half back.
396
00:18:40,557 --> 00:18:42,861
[ALL LAUGHING]
397
00:18:42,893 --> 00:18:44,095
[GIGGLING]
398
00:18:44,129 --> 00:18:45,430
This is for you, son.
399
00:18:45,462 --> 00:18:47,031
Don't say I never gave you nothing.
400
00:18:47,065 --> 00:18:49,034
Are you gonna give me anything else?
401
00:18:49,066 --> 00:18:50,268
Nope. One thing.
402
00:18:51,568 --> 00:18:54,738
Homer, when you look
at your precious totem there,
403
00:18:54,772 --> 00:18:56,374
how does it make you feel?
404
00:18:56,407 --> 00:18:58,076
I never thought of it before.
405
00:18:58,109 --> 00:18:59,276
I touch it all the time.
406
00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:01,479
I feel unhappy if I don't have it.
407
00:19:01,513 --> 00:19:03,281
Sometimes I dream about it.
408
00:19:03,314 --> 00:19:05,584
[GASPS] I think I love it!
409
00:19:05,616 --> 00:19:08,719
Well put. Now understand this.
410
00:19:08,753 --> 00:19:10,088
Dah!
411
00:19:10,121 --> 00:19:12,990
That is how you made me feel!
412
00:19:13,024 --> 00:19:14,825
[WHOOSHES]
413
00:19:14,859 --> 00:19:16,228
Now you see.
414
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:18,295
And you may consider
the charges dropped.
415
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:20,764
Let us shake hands, drink rice wine,
416
00:19:20,797 --> 00:19:22,233
and enjoy Swedish Fish candy.
417
00:19:22,266 --> 00:19:24,468
Are you saying I'm off the hook?
418
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:26,437
Yes. In fact, you may be surprised,
419
00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:28,440
but you are now my best friend.
420
00:19:28,472 --> 00:19:30,274
So I'm not going to prison?
421
00:19:30,307 --> 00:19:32,576
No, you are going to Comic-Con with me.
422
00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:34,112
Oh. Hmm.
423
00:19:34,144 --> 00:19:35,913
Let me see, let me see.
424
00:19:35,947 --> 00:19:37,649
Dad, just say yes.
425
00:19:39,616 --> 00:19:41,152
Is prison still an option?
426
00:19:41,186 --> 00:19:43,855
No. Not until you hold down
Harrison Ford
427
00:19:43,888 --> 00:19:45,924
while I clip off his fingernails.
428
00:19:45,957 --> 00:19:46,959
- Let's get to it.
- [GROANS]
429
00:19:51,496 --> 00:19:53,498
[SNORING]
430
00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:58,336
- What's this?
- Mitigation video.
431
00:19:58,369 --> 00:20:02,674
When I first met Bart, I was
just a nerdy kid with glasses.
432
00:20:02,707 --> 00:20:04,943
But now this blue-haired butterfly's
433
00:20:04,976 --> 00:20:07,679
ready to emerge from his pupa!
434
00:20:07,711 --> 00:20:10,147
[SIGHS] Simpson, you think
this is helping you?
435
00:20:10,180 --> 00:20:12,049
[BART LAUGHING]
436
00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:14,553
Skinner's a jerk. Skinner's a jerk.
437
00:20:14,585 --> 00:20:17,122
Skinner's a jerk. Skinner's a jerk.
438
00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:18,556
Skinner's a jerk.
439
00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:19,858
Skinner's a jerk.
440
00:20:19,891 --> 00:20:21,226
Skinner's a jerk.
441
00:20:21,817 --> 00:20:28,671
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
32809
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