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1
00:00:00,417 --> 00:00:02,961
Previously on Young Sheldon...
Paige?
2
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,838
I'm so happy to see you.
3
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,215
Are you happy to see me?
4
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,217
Not immediately.
5
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:10,427
I don't usually see young people
at my lectures.
6
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:13,347
I enjoyed your paper on
accelerator mass spectrometry
7
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,681
and wanted to find out more.
8
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,351
And you?
I read this magazine.
9
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,686
Uh-huh.
It has puzzles, too.
10
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,605
Well, I think my parents
are getting a divorce.
11
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:24,399
Why?
They fight all the time.
12
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:27,361
I guess I'm lucky.
Why?
13
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:30,364
I'm the glue that holds
our family together.
14
00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,163
(Meemaw chuckles)
15
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,916
What do you think of these?
16
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:43,252
They're nice, but you're
already taller than John.
17
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,711
Won't they make that worse?
18
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,546
No, makes it better.
19
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,298
He likes me to be dominating.
20
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,092
I don't want to hear that.
21
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:54,554
Sometimes he makes me wear these
when we're... messing around.
22
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:57,015
I said I don't
want to hear it.
23
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,101
I wanted to say it.
24
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:02,479
All right, I don't have the
Sperry loafers in your size,
25
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,731
but I do have the Hush Puppies.
26
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,234
I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
27
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,486
I wear brown Sperry
penny loafers.
28
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,571
But they're exactly the same.
Well, do they come
29
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,407
in a box that says
Sperry penny loafers?
30
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,033
Because that one
says Hush Puppies.
31
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,952
Just try 'em on, honey.
32
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:19,830
What if I like them?
Well, then we'll get them.
33
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,082
All right, let's go
over this again.
34
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,418
I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
35
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,044
I wear brown Sperry...
36
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,254
Would you give us a moment?
37
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,006
Happily.
38
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,174
When we get to
the Hello Kitty store today,
39
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,302
remember I was the good child.
40
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:34,970
Oh, hi, Mary.
41
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,805
Linda. So good to see you.
42
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:39,224
Hi, Sheldon.
Hello, Paige.
43
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,892
Hi, Missy.
Hi!
44
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,645
Look at these rain boots--
they have ducks on them.
45
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,647
And the ducks
are wearing boots.
46
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,482
Those are so cute.
47
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:48,692
(Paige giggling)
48
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,986
Well, what a nice coincidence.
Yeah.
49
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:51,987
Good to see you.
50
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,113
Yeah. How are things?
51
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,239
Well, at the moment,
52
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,699
trying to get shoes for Sheldon,
53
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:59,119
but they only have these,
not the ones he likes.
54
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:04,708
Ah. You know, I think that brand
is the same kind Einstein wore.
55
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:07,502
Well, I've never seen a picture
of his feet.
56
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:10,088
And you're a grown-up,
so you wouldn't lie to me.
57
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:13,717
I guess I have no choice
but to believe you.
58
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,427
All right, I'll try them.
59
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:18,055
Great! (mouths)
60
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:21,141
Hey, Mom, can Missy and I go
to the Hello Kitty store?
61
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,685
Well, it's okay with me
if it's okay with Mary.
62
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:26,521
It's okay, but you better be
on your best behavior.
63
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,981
I will, I promise.
64
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,024
Go ahead.
65
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:31,777
Boy, you steal
one pencil sharpener
66
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,779
and you never hear
the end of it.
67
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,699
How do they feel?
68
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:41,536
My brand loyalty is being
severely tested.
69
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:46,333
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
70
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,002
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
71
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,713
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
72
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,965
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
73
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:58,428
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
74
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:04,059
(music playing over radio)
75
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:07,687
Did you guys know Paige
speaks three languages?
76
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,440
Really?
That's impressive.
77
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,567
You only speak one.
78
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:15,737
Two. I'm learning
conversational Klingon.
79
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,322
That's impressive, too.
80
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,116
(speaks in Klingon)
81
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,576
Hey, Mom, can Paige
sleep over this weekend?
82
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,870
I guess,
if her mother says okay.
83
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,081
Wait, where is she
going to sleep?
84
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,208
In your bed.
You can sleep on the couch.
85
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,543
Absolutely not.
86
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,378
I've already changed
my brand of loafers,
87
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:34,589
I am not changing
my sleeping quarters.
88
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,758
How about you stay at
Meemaw's? You like that.
89
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:39,010
No, Meemaw has a date.
90
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:39,886
So?
91
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,304
So if those shoes I just bought
92
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,764
do their job,
93
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,766
that will be a "no children
allowed" scenario.
94
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:49,020
Well, I'm sleeping in my bed,
and that's that.
95
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,356
Fine, Paige and I
can share my bed.
96
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,899
You okay with that, Shelly?
97
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,778
I trust you two will stay quiet
throughout the evening
98
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,655
and go to sleep at
the appropriate time?
99
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,116
Absolutely.
100
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,910
All right, then.
I'm okay with it, Mom.
101
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,873
How is he ever gonna
get through this world?
102
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,003
(knocking)
Welcome, come on in.
103
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,880
Oh, thank you.
104
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,466
You look nice. Going out
to dinner with your husband?
105
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,301
Ugh, no. Girlfriends.
106
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,552
Hi, Sheldon.
107
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,053
Hello.
108
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,138
What are you doing?
109
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,140
Chemistry homework
for extra credit.
110
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,017
Cute, I did that last year.
111
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,810
MISSY:
Paige!
112
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,562
Missy!
113
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,773
Aw, they're so sweet.
114
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:36,359
Yeah, life'll suck that
right out of them soon enough.
115
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:37,819
Well, bye.
Bye.
116
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,156
You got to meet my dolls--
I told them all about you!
117
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,867
(giggling)
118
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:47,245
"Cute, I did that last year."
119
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,623
Thank you for agreeing
to the early-bird dinner.
120
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:53,710
When I eat too late,
the food just sits right here.
121
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,129
Yeah, gettin' old
is no party.
122
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,299
Oh, I've had this problem
since I was ten.
123
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:04,262
When I was in grade school,
my nickname was Old Burpy.
124
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:07,224
Well, I will not be
calling you that.
125
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,475
You can if you'd like.
126
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,893
(chuckles):
I'm good.
127
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,646
So, I have a little surprise
for you.
128
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,773
Oh, I love surprises.
Whatcha got?
129
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,650
I'm going to learn to drive.
130
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,485
Really?
131
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,861
Yes.
132
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:23,114
While I love having you be
the dominant personality
133
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:26,618
behind closed doors,
I think out in public
134
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,578
I ought to take on
more of a macho role.
135
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,913
(laughs)
136
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:32,916
Well, you're macho enough
for me, John,
137
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:36,378
but I would enjoy not having
to drive us all the time.
138
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:37,587
Then it's settled.
139
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,297
Well, when do you start?
140
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,924
As soon as you teach me.
141
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:44,928
Me? Do you really think
that's a good idea?
142
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:48,390
It's perfect.
I teach you about science
143
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,933
so you can impress
your grandson,
144
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:53,937
and you teach me to drive
so I can impress you.
145
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:58,441
Okay, but if we do this,
I'm in charge.
146
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:03,446
You have to do what I say when
and how I tell you to do it.
147
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:07,534
Hubba-hubba, it's like
we're back in the bedroom.
148
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,077
(both laughing)
149
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,664
Did you know that tea was
discovered by accident?
150
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,208
I didn't, but I don't know
lots of stuff.
151
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,919
The Emperor Shennong of China
was boiling water in his garden
152
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,547
and a leaf from a tea tree
fell into his pot.
153
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,799
Tea comes from trees?
154
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,093
Where'd you think
it comes from?
155
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,138
The supermarket.
(chuckles)
156
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:31,349
What, the girls leave you out
of their little picnic?
157
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:32,767
Oh, they invited him.
158
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,144
Well, then why ain't you
out there?
159
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,439
Eat outdoors? Do I look
like a hippie to you?
160
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,107
I thought Paige
was your friend.
161
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,067
She's more of a colleague.
162
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:41,943
Oh.
163
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,236
Although for reasons unknown,
164
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,447
she's currently behaving
like a ten-year-old.
165
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,866
Maybe that's because she
is a ten-year-old.
166
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,284
Still no excuse.
167
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,121
All right, I'm just gonna
come out and ask it:
168
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,707
what the heck
is a colleague?
169
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,088
Okay, pick a number.
170
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,006
Three.
171
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,841
PAIGE:
One, two, three.
172
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,468
Now pick a color.
173
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:07,719
Pink, duh.
174
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:12,515
The name of
your future pony is...
175
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,476
Sparkle Sunshine.
176
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,519
I would totally name it that!
177
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,481
Sheldon, do you want to
have your fortune read?
178
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,149
Absolutely not.
179
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:24,361
And I cannot believe a person
as smart as you is doing it.
180
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,279
Why? It's fun.
181
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,783
He doesn't know how to have fun;
he's an old man.
182
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,159
I'm not an old man.
183
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,495
Oh, yeah?
What's your favorite color?
184
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,746
Khaki.
185
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,040
Old man.
(chuckles)
186
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:44,714
(Paige and Missy giggling)
187
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,716
I'm trying to sleep.
188
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,760
Come inside and play with us.
189
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,969
MISSY:
Don't invite him.
190
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,304
This is a girls' fort,
191
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,764
not an old man fort.
192
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,933
I'm not an old man.
193
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,226
Then come inside.
194
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,436
Are you crazy? It's bedtime.
195
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:01,106
Old man.
196
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,024
(Paige and Missy laughing)
197
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,786
(snoring softly)
198
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,293
(whispering):
What are you doing?
199
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,671
(whispering): We're tying
Georgie's ankles together.
200
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,590
(whispering): So when he gets
out of bed he falls down.
201
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:28,967
But he could get hurt.
202
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,719
If we're lucky.
203
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,138
Well, I will not be
a party to this.
204
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,723
Old man.
205
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,391
(giggles)
206
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:42,105
That's when
the bloodthirsty Goatman--
207
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,274
part goat, part man--
208
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:48,653
crept up on the
sleeping children... No.
209
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:53,616
...and sank his sharp little
teeth into their necks... No.
210
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,827
...and drank their blood!
211
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,495
No.
212
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:58,997
Problem?
213
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,207
Several. First of all,
goats are herbivores.
214
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,418
They don't eat meat,
let alone drink blood.
215
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,545
Maybe the half man part
drinks blood.
216
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,923
Don't even get me started
on the "half man" stuff.
217
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:12,343
Sheldon, it's just
a fun scary story.
218
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,387
It's nonsense is what it is.
219
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,638
Old man.
220
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,432
I'm not an old man, I'm ten.
221
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,933
More like 110.
222
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:22,312
You know, I read that adults
who had a stunted childhood
223
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,023
often become social misfits
and weirdos.
224
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,649
You didn't read that,
you're making it up
225
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,193
like your goat story.
226
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:32,655
Psychology Magazine,
February issue, 1988.
227
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:33,948
Well, um...
228
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,367
That doesn't make it true.
229
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,369
Guess you'll find out
when you're an adult.
230
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,246
I guess I will.
231
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:45,376
ADULT SHELDON: Well, we know
how this story ends.
232
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,462
I grew up to become
a well-adjusted
233
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,547
and charming fellow.
But at that moment in time,
234
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,007
she had me worried.
235
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:55,428
MISSY: Hey, Georgie, breakfast.
Mom made Eggos.
236
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,472
GEORGE JR.:
Eggos, sweet.
237
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,849
(body thuds)
Ow! Dang it!
238
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,059
(Paige and Missy laughing)
239
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,357
Oh, dear.
240
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:08,399
What?
241
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,984
Paige was right.
242
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,986
"There's ample evidence
to indicate
243
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:15,281
"that a stunted childhood
can cause one to be maladjusted
244
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,407
as an adult."
245
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,659
Then I'm screwed.
246
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,202
What do you mean?
247
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,913
When I'm not in school,
I'm doing homework.
248
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:24,666
When I'm not doing homework,
I'm practicing my cello.
249
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,125
And when I'm not doing that,
250
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,919
I'm working
in my parents' store.
251
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:30,505
That must be why we're friends.
252
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:31,756
We're both stunted.
253
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,132
Sounds right.
254
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:36,302
Well, I for one
plan to do something about it.
255
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,971
Like what?
256
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,974
I'm going to goof off,
engage in horseplay,
257
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,351
and if time permits,
be quite immature.
258
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,686
If time permits?
259
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,855
I have homework, too.
260
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:49,023
Would you like to join me
in my shenanigans?
261
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,441
No, thanks.
262
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:53,862
Aren't you concerned about
being a maladjusted adult?
263
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,489
Nah. I'll just marry
an American woman
264
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,033
and hope she can fix me.
265
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:06,624
I'm usually the one
giving the tests,
266
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,752
but, uh, today I'm taking one.
267
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,045
No talking.
268
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:15,717
And I usually say that
to my students.
269
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,929
(mouthing)
270
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:20,763
What?
271
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,807
(quietly):
How's it going?
272
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,852
I can't tell you.
There's no talking.
273
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,688
No talking.
Sorry.
274
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,780
Mind if I join you?
275
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:38,781
Doing what?
276
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:41,075
Swinging.
Seriously?
277
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,912
Yes. It's my hope to feel
the wind in my hair
278
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:46,331
and be carefree.
Um, okay.
279
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,922
("Also sprach Zarathustra"
by Richard Strauss playing)
280
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,681
Sheldon threw up on me.
Sheldon threw up on me!
281
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,645
Okay, rearview mirrors.
282
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,939
Um, all set.
283
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:14,692
Turn signal left.
Turn signal right.
284
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,487
Um, foot on the brake.
285
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:21,032
Transmission in drive.
286
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,705
You have to start
the car first.
287
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,832
Of course.
288
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,417
Sorry, I'm a bit nervous.
289
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,169
You're not alone.
290
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,797
(engine starts)
291
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:38,841
And here we go.
292
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,849
STURGIS:
This is crazy.
293
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,685
I'm doing it.
294
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,073
Excuse me, I was
hoping to purchase
295
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,117
some practical joke
paraphernalia
296
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,327
so that I may behave
childishly.
297
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,620
Rack in the corner.
298
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,038
Thank you.
299
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,214
♪ ♪
300
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:27,348
"If it's funny, it's a Bazinga."
301
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,725
Interesting.
302
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,400
Yellow light.
Yellow light!
303
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,651
It's okay, keep going.
304
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,069
But yellow means slow down.
305
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,404
You can't slow down
in the intersection!
306
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,905
Keep going.
307
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,574
Are you sure?
Yes.
308
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,658
Go. Go!
309
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,786
(screaming)
310
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:58,588
(laughing):
Oh, God. Oh, God.
311
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,006
Oh...
312
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,507
I'm so sorry.
313
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,509
It's okay, we're fine.
314
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,969
Nobody got hurt.
315
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,637
I don't think I can
do this, Connie.
316
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:09,098
Of course you can.
We're just getting started.
317
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:12,477
No, it's too much information.
I can't process it.
318
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,270
It was just a yellow light.
319
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:17,482
Not just the light.
There were other cars.
320
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,524
There's pedestrians.
321
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,152
There was a guy on a bicycle.
So?
322
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:23,029
That's just too many
random elements.
323
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,740
The-the-the stimuli
are overwhelming.
324
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:28,451
Okay. Okay.
325
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,329
(sighs)
326
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,873
I'm sorry.
I know I'm letting you down.
327
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,793
Oh, don't be silly.
You're not letting me down.
328
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,503
(chuckles)
329
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:41,923
I love you whether
you can drive or not.
330
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,426
You love me?
331
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:51,516
Well, I...
332
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,309
I suppose I do.
333
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:58,189
(laughs) Am I allowed
to reciprocate?
334
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:01,776
Sure, if that's
the way you feel.
335
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,778
(laughs):
Oh, it is.
336
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:06,030
I love you, too, Connie.
337
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:09,200
(chuckling):
Well...
338
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,746
That's just great.
339
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,457
All righty.
(laughs)
340
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,961
Would you like to
switch seats with me?
341
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,421
Yes, but give me a minute
342
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:25,299
because my legs are
a little wobbly.
343
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,553
Is that from the yellow light
or the "I love yous"?
344
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:29,762
Both.
345
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,056
(both laughing)
346
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,727
Dad, would you care for
a piece of gum?
347
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,062
No, thank you.
348
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,856
Please, take a piece of gum.
349
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,065
Why?
350
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,483
Just please.
351
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,572
Bazinga.
352
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,700
You understand any of that?
353
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,578
I don't know, I guess
he's just being a little boy.
354
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,204
Since when?
355
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:58,416
(knock on door)
SHELDON: Georgie? Georgie?
356
00:15:58,416 --> 00:15:59,542
What?
357
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:03,838
Would you like some
salted mixed nuts?
358
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:04,881
Nah.
359
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,674
Look, they're the fancy kind.
360
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,092
That's a trick can.
361
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,635
No, it's not.
362
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,846
Listen. When you shake it,
there's a rattling sound,
363
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,431
as if nuts are inside.
364
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,599
(rattling)
365
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,727
Fine.
366
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,312
(screams)
367
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:23,733
Bazinga.
368
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,401
(phone ringing)
369
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,904
Sparks residence,
Billy speaking.
370
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,280
SHELDON:
This is the electric company.
371
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,615
Hello.
372
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,117
I'm calling to see
if your refrigerator is running.
373
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,661
I'll go check.
374
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,499
I'm back. It's running.
375
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:41,959
Well, then you better
go catch it.
376
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:45,630
Bazinga.
(dial tone)
377
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,215
(phone ringing)
378
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,799
MEEMAW (on recording):
This is Connie Tucker.
379
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,802
Leave a message
when you hear the... beep.
380
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:53,387
(machine beeps)
381
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,932
SHELDON:
Hello, um, Meemaw,
382
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,558
this is Sheldon.
383
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:02,146
If you were home, I was going
to say, "Is Mr. Wall there?"
384
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,564
And then you would say, "No."
385
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,776
And then I would say,
"Is Mrs. Wall there?"
386
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,319
And then you would say, "No."
387
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,613
And then I would say,
"Well, if there are no walls,
388
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:13,908
then how does your roof
stay up?"
389
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,994
Um, okay. Bazinga.
390
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,539
That was pathetic.
391
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,124
It was.
392
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,878
I'm not sure I'm cut out for
these antics and shenanigans.
393
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,589
I guess you're gonna
grow up to be a weirdo.
394
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,841
I suppose I am.
395
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:33,094
Life is so confusing.
396
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,097
I always hoped
it would be easier for me
397
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,640
when I grew up, but...
398
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,894
...now I'm not so sure it will.
399
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,105
It's gonna be all right.
400
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,606
(loud flatulence sound)
401
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,738
You were faking?
402
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,285
Bazinga.
403
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:58,911
ADULT SHELDON:
And that's how I became
404
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:02,748
the madcap prankster
all my friends know and love.
405
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:09,422
So, John, how was
your first driving lesson?
406
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,590
(exhales)
Intense.
407
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,591
At one point,
408
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,677
I was approaching
an intersection.
409
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:17,638
The light was green,
but at the last moment,
410
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,015
it turned yellow.
411
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,266
I didn't know what to do.
412
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,977
Should I keep going?
Should I stop?
413
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,104
There were
other cars nearby.
414
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,314
Connie was yelling.
415
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,899
A glare from the sun
was in my eyes.
416
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,192
So, what happened?
417
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,278
Somehow, I managed
to make it through,
418
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,155
turned on my directional,
419
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:35,906
and slowly pulled
420
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,783
to the side of the road.
421
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:41,787
(exhales) That's how you
tell a scary story.
422
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,916
In lighter news,
your meemaw loves me.
423
00:18:45,966 --> 00:18:50,516
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