All language subtitles for The Kids Are Alright s01e10 Show Boat.eng

It's about time,
Mr. Lollygag.

I sent you to the store
hours ago.

Sorry, Mom. I tried to drive
fast but there were squirrels.

Adult Timmy: My mom and Frank
had this weird co-dependency

where his happiness
was tied to her happiness,

but so was her happiness.

Hell's bells,
real Cool Whip? It was on your list.

-Oh...
-You let him buy real Cool Whip?

Did I get a raise
I don't know about?

I wrote Cool Whip with a "K,"
the cheap store brand.

Never buy anything
spelled correctly.

At Ralph's you pay extra
for grammar.

Been a long day.
I'm gonna take a shower.

It won't happen again, Mom.
I need to be able to count on you

while your dad's doing
all this overtime.

[ Southern accent ] Greetings
and salutations, madam!

I had been cast
in a production of "Show Boat,"

playing a suave
riverboat gambler.

Unfortunately, the only
person from the South

I was familiar with
was Foghorn Leghorn.

I say, I say,
what a charming evening,

the scent of juniper
filling the air.

Oh.
It's not juniper, it's Mom's boiled cabbage.

And you missed out!

Enjoy your peanut butter
sandwich for supper.

Oh, I think we can do better
than that for our star.

-Star.
-I am the star!

I totally aced my audition.

How many male roles
in this show?

Seventeen.

Maybe we should've put up
more fliers.

♪♪

I'm making a Hungry-Man
dinner for your dad. I'll throw one in for you.

He gets a Hungry-Man
for showing up late? Why is Timmy so special?

Oh, he's only special
compared to the rest of you.

Oh, you hear that?
It's not you, it's us!

How'd rehearsal go?

Did you bring up my suggestion
of adding a genie?

I doubt they'd have a genie
on a Mississippi riverboat.

All I know is it works
on that show.

This production has much
bigger problems, Mom.

I'm doing the best work
of my career,

but these sets
are amateur hour.

It's called "Show Boat,"
and so far there's no boat.

Wendi says they can't spend
any money on sets.

The whole point is raising funds
for soccer equipment.

The whole point is reaching
across those footlights

to bring a little magic
into people's lives.

And what's more magical
than a genie?

I'll shut up now.

I couldn't help overhear
that your little show

might be in need of some
nautical-themed items.

I am a man with influential
friends and associates.

Uh-huh, you saw
"The Godfather" again.

Seriously, how do you keep
getting into that movie?

I am a man with influential
friends and associates. [ Sighs ]

I might be able to procure
some boat stuff for your set.

What's that gonna cost me?

You insult me
with offers of money.

But someday --

and this day
may never come --

I will call upon you
to do a service for me.

You're saying
it may never come?

Oh...it'll come.

So, what have I been missing
around here?

Anything interesting
with the kids?

You skip a few nights
at home,

you think they
suddenly get interesting?

That's kind of interesting.

[ "Drunken Sailor" plays ]

Oh, my God.

Joey got that
for my show!

How does he get his mitts
on crazy stuff like that?

Don't ask too many questions.
Otherwise, I might have to return my Ginsu knives.

I just hope there's not some
ocean liner out there,

drifting around in circles.

Frank, you'll need to drive
Timmy to his rehearsal.

He's not gonna be able to carry
that wheel on his bike.

You've got the whole house
jumping through hoops

just because
you're in a show.

It's not fair.
If it bugs you,

do something great
that people like, like I do.

I'm great at important things
like algebra and penmanship --

not lame stuff
like musicals.

"Show Boat," lame?

Tell that to legendary
theater impresario...

Florenz Ziegfeld.

Looking back, it's shocking

that my brothers
didn't punch me more.

[ "Drunken Sailor" plays ]
Hey!

Look what we brought!

A genuine captain's wheel?
Far out!

Yeah, my brother got it for us
for the Cotton Blossom.

Thanks so much, Frank!

[ Laughing ] Oh.
Oh, no, no, I meant my --

I like to support the theater.

Aren't you late
for your dumb nonsense?

Yeah.

Are you one of
the actors, too, then?

No, I'm from
the soccer team.

We're hoping to buy
shin guards this year

so I can finally stop bleeding
through my knee socks.

We tried to get her
to be in the show because...

Uh-huh, because why?

You know, because it's set
in the South, and...

you have such a beautiful
singing voice. I don't.

But I am the only black person
in school.

[ Snaps fingers ] We should
get this wheel backstage.

Ladies, I can handle it.
I placed in the 75th percentile

for the President's
Physical Fitness Test.

♪♪

Hey pal, look what
Gino brought me.

A whole case.

Check this out.
How'd you come across that?

[ Chuckles ] Well, let's
just say it fell off the back of a truck.

Is that what happened?
Pretty much.

Truck hit a speed bump,
it fell off the back. This pleases me.

You two have shown me
great respect.

Oh, hey, can I try out
your ring?

[ "Love Theme
from 'The Godfather'" plays ]

[ Ring whirring ]

♪♪

Melissa: I know what you're
thinking, but no,

this wasn't done
by professional carpenters.

It's terrible, but your wheel
will definitely help.

For the record, I wanted to do
a bake sale.

Sister Euphemia:
Hold the work backstage!

The artists are attempting
to engage the muse.

From the fourth bar.

Gaylord and Magnolia,
feeling the first tender shoots

of love's flowering.
[ Piano plays ]

Together:
♪ Might as well make believe ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ For to tell the truth ♪

♪ I do ♪

Lovely, children.

Nice working with you, kiddo.
You've got some chops.

We might want
to speak to costumes

about getting you some lifts.

There goes our money
for the soccer team.

I should've gone
to public school.

They have Title IX,
pizza Fridays,

and other black people.

We'll never be ready
by show night.

What if we went
at this differently?

Like a bake sale?
Forget the three-dimensional boat,

we could do something
lightweight in two dimensions

and suspend it
from a traverse rod. That sounds smart.

I placed in the 76th percentile
in Engineering and Physics.

I would go with 2/10 scale
with a forced perspective.

We'll build the ship...

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine...

10 Frank's feet long.

That sounds great, but we don't
have time to start over.

We do if I help,
and we keep it very simple.

We need a steam whistle,
smoke machine, lots of lights,

and a rotating paddle wheel.

Your set will look
like a million bucks.

We have ten.

Eight. I bought gum
for the crew.

Where on Earth are you
coming from, Frank?

I swear I heard you
cleaning the gutters,

stomping around up there.

That possum
must be putting on weight.

Sorry, Mom, I stuck around
to help work on Timmy's sets.

Every day you put
the gutters off,

that possum becomes
a more formidable foe.

Why can't somebody else
do the gutters, like Lawrence?

'Cause I told you to do it.

Yeah. Plus, I have
that inner-ear thing.

Whenever I go up on a ladder,
my inner ear hears the words,

"This seems like
a Frank job."

Mom, guess what?
I'm playing two roles now.

They asked me to also play
Stevedore Joe,

so I get to sing
"Old Man River"!

Isn't Joe
an Afro-American?

It'll be my greatest
acting challenge.

But no black-face.
That's considered in poor taste now.

Very good, Mom.
Hmm. Heard that

from an Oriental.
Eh, there it is.

So, I'm thinking I want to keep
helping the girls with the set.

They really like my ideas.
Ideas.

No, I have much too much work
for you to do around here.

Besides, I only have room
in this family

for one insufferable
show-off.

Forward roll!
[ Telephone ringing ]

Here we go.
[ Laughs ]

-Oh!
-Wow.

-Cleary residence.
-Hey, Frank.

-Oh, hi, Wendi.
-Hey, thanks again

for all your help today.

Yeah, about that.
I'm not sure --

Oh, we're asking too much,
aren't we? N--

I-I understand.
It's just watching you today,

all lit up with inspiration,

this show started
to get fun again.

Well, it's just
I'm not sure...

-[ Laughs ]
-Hey, hey.

-Whup!
-Nice!

...how I'll be able
to sleep tonight,

dreaming about
putting that boat together.

See you tomorrow, Wendi.
Is that my girlfriend?

Sorry you had to talk
to Frank.

[ Gags ] Now the receiver
smells like Frank breath.

♪ You an' me,
we sweat an' strain ♪

To get away with defying Mom,
Frank had to work double-duty,

still executing
all her heinous chores

and then secretly slipping away
to build sets with Wendi.

♪ An' you land
in jaaaaiiiil... ♪

[ Wagner's "Ride of
the Valkyries" plays ]

♪♪

What's up? Besides us.

Ha!
No horseplay! I'm on a ladder.

Where did you get
the scissor lift?

If I tell you,
everyone gets one,

then they're
not cool anymore.

That looks like
pretty grim work.

It's not bad, except for
the baby bird skeletons,

but I get the satisfaction
of helping Mom.

More satisfaction than helping
those girls from the play

who are your own age
and not related to you?

Entertainment folk with their
free and easy ways...

Nobody's "free and easy."

They're nice girls who
just want to play soccer.

[ "Love Theme
from 'The Godfather'" plays ] How about I take over

so you can go hang out
with your show folk?

Then one day, you can do
a favor for me.

♪♪

Okay.

But if isn't done to perfection,
Mom'll know it wasn't me.

Relax, I'll do it
exactly like someone

who is weirdly obsessed
with the approval of his mother. You better.

[ Brakes squeal ]

[ "Drunken Sailor" plays ]

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Door closes ]

Where'd that thing
come from?

I know a guy
who knows a guy.

In court they're called
accomplices.

Get down from there.
You and I are going for seafood.

Hey, you know that favor
you owe me?

I need it right now,
and fast.

You think something like this
is a harmless prank,

but folks have gone to jail
for less.

I don't want to go to jail.
No, you don't.

There are much better ways
to see Johnny Cash for free.

But maybe if you and I go in the
restaurant and you apologize,

we can smooth this over.

Okay.

But what am I apologizing for?

Seriously?

You're gonna sit there and deny
that you stole that?

Stole what?

[ "Drunken Sailor" plays ]

That wasn't there before.

[ Tires squeal ]

♪♪

Let's go. Come on.

Just point it
at the backdrop and...

[ Button clicks,
projector whirring ]

Wendi: Wow!
So pretty, Frank.

You're an artist.

Is that somebody surfing
on the Mississippi River?

Oh, I shot this
at Zuma Beach.

We can splice that out.

You should be really proud.

I mean, you built
a really great set.

And more importantly,
got Melissa to stop yapping

about her bake sale.

I'm selling cupcakes
in the lobby.

I don't care
what anybody says.

Places for dress rehearsal!
[ Piano plays ]

♪ Only make believe
I love you... ♪

♪ Only make believe ♪

♪ That you love me ♪

[ Horn blowing ]
Together: ♪ Others find peace of mind ♪

♪ In pretending... ♪
[ Applause, scattered cheers ]

Timmy: ♪ Couldn't you? ♪

Magnolia: ♪ Couldn't I? ♪

Together: ♪ Couldn't we... ♪

♪ Make... ♪
There I was, singing my guts out,

and all anyone was looking at
was Frank's stupid boat.

[ Crowd chanting "Frank" ]
My pride kept me from caring what they thought --

or it would have if I had any.
Forward roll!

[ Chanting continues ]

[ Cheers ]

Look, all I'm asking is you tone
down the effects tomorrow night

so the audience
notices I'm there.

Actors, they always think
they're the ones

people come to see,
but the star tonight was my set.

And me!
I play the boat!

Okay, the stage crew
liked it, sure, but tomorrow

is a paying audience of
soccer team boosters --

a more sophisticated,
European crowd.

I'm not changing a thing.

It's called "Show Boat,"
not Show Timmy.

Frank had gotten his first
taste of that fleeting,

shallow showbiz glory
that feels so much better

than actual love,

but it was supposed to mine.

And in taking it,
he had made a powerful enemy.

Hey, Dad, why don't you
get out that projector

and show us those home movies
you took at the air show?

Outstanding idea.

-Mm-hmm.
-Buckle up, kids.

Tonight we are soaring
with the Blue Angels!

[ Laughs ]

His air show movies?

Really? Why would you
do that to us?

I'll have to find my glasses
with the fake open eyes.

We all agreed we'd only let him
show those on Father's Day

and only if we forgot
to get him a card.

And ever since
we made that rule,

we have never forgotten
the card.

Oh, come on.
Those movies aren't so bad,

and it makes your dad happy
when we watch 'em together.

I'll be in the kitchen.
Mike: Peg!

My Bell and Howell
projector is gone!

Well, things have a way of
disappearing around this house.

I can't keep
a bra catalogue!

Your projector is missing?

I don't know.
That's strange.

I might know who had something
to do with this.

Joey!

You know anything about
my missing projector?

No, Pop, but I can ask
Mousey and Ray-Ray

to check the word
on the street. Or maybe I can call the police

and have them search
the premises,

including a certain,
uh, tree house.

You don't have to call
the police.

I took your projector.
You took it?

I'm using it for special effects
in "Show Boat."

Oh, maybe we should've
taken you to the doctor

when you failed that hearing
test at school and they said

it might be something serious,
because I specifically told you

not to work on "Show Boat."
I know, but I-I...

I like it.
I'm good at it,

and it makes me happy.
Is that the groovy, new trend now?

Everyone doing things that
they're good at and being happy?

Plus the people there
show me appreciation,

which never happens
around here.

Hey, pal,
your appreciation is

that we haven't sold you
to the Gypsies.

Yeah, I'm starting to wonder
what's really going on --

if this sudden interest
in theater

is really an interest
in those girls?

What?!
Mm-hmm.

[ Scoffs ]

No!
Wh-What's going on here

is you can't stand me doing
something away from you

that isn't under
your thumb!

I'm just trying to protect you
from making a fool of yourself.

The only thing you're
protecting me from

is having my own life

because it means
maybe someday

I won't be
at your beck and call!

You're so afraid to go out
in the world and do things,

you just want the rest
of us to be as afraid of the world as you are.

-Hey, knock it off!
-Well, I'm not afraid!

And I'm not afraid of you.

I'm still scared of you, Mom.

Thank you, William. You always
know just what to say.

Once the idea
of watching air show movies

got into his head,
my dad couldn't sleep.

And he wasn't about to let the
lack of a projector stop him.

Ooh, delta formation.

Such precision.

Whoa, they're flying
backwards.

There you go.

[ Thud in distance ]

[ Dog barking in distance ]

[ "Drunken Sailor" plays ]

Ahoy, buttheads. King crabs,
straight from Seafood Fart.

Seriously bummed
to see that "O" back. Pull up the ladder

My brother Pat
climbs in his sleep. One of the crabs

when I was locking up my bike.

They trick you
by running sideways.

[ Door closes ]
Wow. These are almost as nice

as the crabs I got
from your sister. [ Laughter ]

-I don't have a sister.
-You have any girl cousins?

-Yeah.
-Then it works.

[ Laughter ]
Where were we? Oh, yeah,

I believe this is mine.

Again?
Seriously?

Oh, you'll have a chance
to win it back.

-Five card stud.
-Look what I found in my tree --

some delinquent Keebler Elves.

Dad, you can't just barge in
on a man's tree house.

I could've legally
shot you.

[ Grunts ]
My tree, my rules.

-Hi, Mr. Cleary.
-Stay for a while, son.

I'm hurt you didn't invite me
to your party.

You'll note mine's
a cream soda.

I-I was planning on doing some
scissor lifting later.

You do realize gambling's
illegal in this state?

T-True, but we're 14 feet
off the ground,

so technically,
we're subject to astronaut law.

Davey: We don't always play
for money, Mr. Cleary.

A lot of the times,
Joey forgives our debts

if we're able
to offer him a favor.

I got him that scissor lift
from my dad's job site.

Mm. Looks like you called in
a lot of favors.

I see radial tires, olive oil,

a wiggling sack of something.

As a responsible father,

there's only one way
for me to handle this.

Deal me in.

[ Chuckles ]

Davey: Uh...

♪♪

Here's a little something
I call the "Cleary"

because it's a...

full house.

Poor me
with only two pair...

of the same thing.

[ "Drunken Sailor" plays ]
That's better, isn't it?

[ Laughs ]

This feels like
a good stopping point.

Because you have
all the money! [ Laughing ] Yeah!

I mean, you're not
seriously keeping it?

Uh, uh, your goal was to teach
me a lesson, right?

Yeah, I like to get paid
for my lessons.

I won this by cheating
fair and square.

You cheated?

Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]

But it's okay,

because we're under
astronaut law.

[ Switch engages ]
T-minus 10...9...

8...7...

It was finally show night.

A battle royale between me
and a cardboard boat.

Fortunately, I had a secret
weapon up my sleeve.

[ Lighter clicking ]

-Timmy, I need to talk to you.
-Uh, s-s-sure -- sure.

I guess Mom isn't coming tonight
because of our fight.

Sorry about that. I know how her
approval means a lot to you.

I think I understand now
what it's like for you,

doing something
that inspires you

while other people crap on it
and try to hold you back.

Other people like me.

You have been
one of my harshest critics.

You and that smug
second grader

who writes those reviews
for the school paper.

Well, she's a hack.

Good luck tonight.

Frank.

I asked Dad to show us
his home movies last night

so Mom would find out and stop
you from doing the show.

I was jealous of your set
for upstaging me.

I'm sorry.
That's okay.

If you hadn't done that, I might
never have stood up to Mom.

I can't believe
you were jealous.

No one's ever been
jealous of me before.

Except for Mrs. Strausser,
who raves about my skin.

I'm not proud
of what I did, Frank.

Mostly because
it didn't work.

[ Both laugh ]

Seriously, I wish it had
worked. I hated that damn boat.

♪ Ol' man river ♪

♪ Dat ol' man river ♪

[ Horn blowing ]
♪ He mus' know sumpin' ♪

♪ But don't say nuthin' ♪

♪ He jes' keeps rollin' along ♪
Dr. King did not march for this.

Just picture
those shin guards.

[ Applause, cheering ]

[ Door closes ]

♪♪

I brought
Dad's projector back.

Didn't go to the cast party
with your new theater friends?

Meeting up in some coffee house,
wear berets, and play bongos?

They're mostly
just a soccer team.

We had orange slices
at intermission.

I brought you this.

A program from the show.

They put my name in there.

Some of what you said
last night...

might be true.

About me sometimes
holding you back.

Then again,
it's only natural.

Every parent wants their
children to end up

just a little less happy
than they are.

I'm not sure
that's universal, Mom.

What do I know?
I grew up in a different time.

Expectations for girls
weren't set that high.

And I met your father, and then
along came all you kids.

Eight needy nails in my
hopes and dreams coffin.

But I guess I could try to be
a little bit more encouraging.

Let you boys march out
into the world

with sky-high expectations.

And if they don't work out,
I'll be here for you.

To come crawling back to.

To tell me I was right.

Or if they do work out,

we can come back
to say thank you.

I love you, Mom.

[ Scoffing ]

That word.

You're probably starving.

I'm gonna heat you up
a Hungry-Man dinner.

It's a new one --
Mexican enchiladas.

Hey, you see that one?
Sure.

X-27 Lancer.

Any idea how many Gs
that baby's pulling?

I don't know. 3?

A million?

What's this nonsense?

Barry's Barnstormers
was supposed to be up next.

These look like the movies that
William took of Timmy's show.

Geez Louise,
this looks amazing!

It's not the "Crowned Clowns
of the Air," but...not bad.

Well, we all knew Timmy
had a dose of creativity,

but it looks like
we have a second son

with a budding talent.
Huh.

I'm thinking William could
really be a filmmaker one day.

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