Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:10,679
Charlie, I want my wok back!
2
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,900
You borrowed it months ago.
3
00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,019
It's time.
4
00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:15,989
It's just time.
5
00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:17,719
You lent something to him?
6
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,589
This man's a crazy hoarder.
7
00:00:19,590 --> 00:00:21,600
Crazy good at it.
8
00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:23,459
Ugh.
9
00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:25,290
Is this cake up for grabs?
10
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,929
Because I have been
on a bus for 12 hours,
11
00:00:27,930 --> 00:00:29,970
and I am starving.
12
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:34,239
I was saving that for after
I finished my veggies.
13
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,969
- Excuse me, miss? Miss?
- Hmm?
14
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,679
Who are you and what are
you doing at our table?
15
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,140
Your table?
16
00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,379
What makes it your table?
17
00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:46,379
Well, the fact that it is.
18
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,919
Because we say it is, so then it is.
19
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,719
Well, I didn't know. I'm so sorry.
20
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,860
In that case...
21
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,859
That seat is saved.
22
00:00:58,860 --> 00:01:00,740
Saved seats?
23
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,160
What is this, middle school?
24
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:04,630
Do I look like I'm in middle school?
25
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,850
Do you really want me to answer that?
26
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,460
You can't just sit at a seat
that doesn't belong to you,
27
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,680
then act like you run this place.
28
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:14,829
I mean, who does that?
29
00:01:14,830 --> 00:01:16,199
MJ!
30
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,799
Mom!
31
00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:21,470
Oh.
32
00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:43,920
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
33
00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:47,300
Then Michael breaks up with me,
34
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:50,100
kicks me out of my house
and changes all the locks.
35
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,740
And the police are like, "Duh,
we can't do anything about it."
36
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,220
Just because Michael was the homeowner
37
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,639
and I never paid any rent.
38
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:56,899
Unbelievable.
39
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,740
Is it, though?
40
00:01:59,170 --> 00:02:00,669
So, what happened with you and Michael?
41
00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:02,409
I thought you guys were doing great.
42
00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:04,779
Well, so did I. And then he was like,
43
00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:08,210
"Duh, you need to get a job
so you can make some money."
44
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:11,020
Boyfriend sounds a lot
like the policeman.
45
00:02:11,150 --> 00:02:14,189
So, I start doing my
ice sculptures again.
46
00:02:14,190 --> 00:02:17,040
And then he's like, "Uh,
there's puddles everywhere."
47
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:18,250
And I'm like, "Yeah.
48
00:02:18,260 --> 00:02:20,489
"That's what happens when I
don't sell an ice sculpture.
49
00:02:20,490 --> 00:02:22,329
"It turns into a puddle.
50
00:02:22,330 --> 00:02:24,929
That's how molecules work."
51
00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:26,840
Does he want you to work or not?
52
00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:28,679
Make up your mind, Michael.
53
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,239
Right? Thank you.
54
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,069
Margaret, you don't have
to play nice for us.
55
00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:34,150
If you want to whup this
woman's ass, go ahead.
56
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:35,310
We'll look the other way.
57
00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:40,709
Ignore him.
58
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:44,260
Anyway, Mom, I was hoping
I could stay with you
59
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,990
just for a little bit, till
I get back on my feet.
60
00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:48,040
You can stay here as long as you need.
61
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,719
Aw, thanks, chica. You rule.
62
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,800
Um... all right, well, I am
gonna go and get my stuff.
63
00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:55,600
Hey, any way I could
get one of your famous
64
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:56,929
grilled cheeses tonight?
65
00:02:56,930 --> 00:02:59,700
Oh, I would, but I don't
think I have any cheese.
66
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,740
Okay. Well, if you're going to
the store, I would not be mad
67
00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:04,739
at one of those rotisserie
chickens, either.
68
00:03:04,740 --> 00:03:06,810
Oh. All right, well, I
guess I could squeeze in
69
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,140
a quick trip to the market.
70
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,609
If I hustle, I can still
catch that 5:15 bus.
71
00:03:10,610 --> 00:03:12,579
- Mm.
- Oh, and, uh, when I get back,
72
00:03:12,580 --> 00:03:14,350
I will make up the couch for you.
73
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,150
Oh.
74
00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:20,040
The couch.
75
00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:23,890
Okay.
76
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,560
Who is this person?
77
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:31,699
That's my daughter,
Hank. Try to keep up.
78
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,099
I'm talking about you!
79
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:34,930
I've never seen such a doormat.
80
00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:38,969
Are you gonna question my
relationship with my kid?
81
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:40,239
Guys, back me up here.
82
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,609
- No, not a chance.
- No...
83
00:03:42,610 --> 00:03:46,009
You know, MJ's dad and I got
divorced when she was little,
84
00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:47,620
and she took it very hard.
85
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,179
So I'm always gonna be there for her.
86
00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:51,549
Mm-hmm. Doormat.
87
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:54,389
I am not a doormat. I'm a mom.
88
00:03:54,390 --> 00:03:57,099
Yeah, well, somebody's
sleeping on the couch tonight,
89
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,589
and I bet it's gonna be you.
90
00:03:58,590 --> 00:04:00,029
Butt out, Hank.
91
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:02,730
It's not easy being right all the time!
92
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,900
It's hard on me, too!
93
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,610
And you thought it would
be hard to find your wok.
94
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,040
Your hoarding has gotten so much worse
95
00:04:16,060 --> 00:04:17,440
since last time I was here.
96
00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:19,679
Hoarding never gets worse, Sid.
97
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,780
It only gets better.
98
00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:24,819
This has been a problem for years.
99
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:27,049
But now it's affecting me
100
00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:30,380
and my ability to cook
delicious Chinese food.
101
00:04:31,190 --> 00:04:34,489
- And why do you have a canoe?
- Oh.
102
00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:37,129
Oh, it was left to me by an
Inuit elder in his will.
103
00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:39,099
My good friend Tulugaak.
104
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,360
Oh, yeah.
105
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,700
Well, that's a perfectly
reasonable explanation.
106
00:04:45,140 --> 00:04:48,009
May not seem obvious, all
of my belongings are
107
00:04:48,010 --> 00:04:49,609
very carefully organized.
108
00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:51,339
Organized? By what?
109
00:04:51,340 --> 00:04:53,479
By the letters in the word "organized."
110
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,210
This is section "O."
111
00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:58,440
There's oranges and, uh,
office supplies, origami.
112
00:04:58,460 --> 00:05:01,149
But what about letters that
aren't in the word "organized"?
113
00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:02,220
Exactly.
114
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,350
Now, "wok" would've been under "O"
115
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,120
because there's an "O" in "wok,"
116
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,229
but I didn't think of it as a wok.
117
00:05:09,230 --> 00:05:11,100
I thought of it as a cereal bowl.
118
00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:15,720
Obviously, there's no "C"
in "organized," either.
119
00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:18,040
So that's when it starts
to get really complicated.
120
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,080
- Charlie, I'm gonna help you out here.
- Okay.
121
00:05:21,110 --> 00:05:23,609
You are dating a beautiful woman now.
122
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:25,679
You cannot bring her back here.
123
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,760
And I don't want you to
wind up one of those guys
124
00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:29,649
who gets eaten by their cats.
125
00:05:29,650 --> 00:05:31,449
I don't have cats.
126
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:32,790
How do you know?
127
00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:38,089
Thanks for letting me stay here, Mom.
128
00:05:38,090 --> 00:05:39,529
You're always there for me.
129
00:05:39,530 --> 00:05:41,389
And I would much rather
hang out with you
130
00:05:41,390 --> 00:05:42,899
than Dad and Blah-Blah.
131
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:45,199
Oh, don't be so hard on Barbara.
132
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,929
She has to live with your father.
133
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,269
She's got it bad enough.
134
00:05:49,270 --> 00:05:52,240
She does suck ass, though, doesn't she?
135
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:55,779
I mean, she puts out raisins
like they're a snack.
136
00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:57,510
Raisins.
137
00:05:57,540 --> 00:06:01,510
You sleep well, and, uh, things
will feel better in the morning.
138
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:07,380
What's the matter, honey?
139
00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:09,050
Well, it's just...
140
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,819
You know that you can tell me anything.
141
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:12,730
I was in the middle of telling you.
142
00:06:15,030 --> 00:06:17,029
It's just, when Michael
broke up with me,
143
00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:18,599
he made me sleep on the couch,
144
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,969
so this is super triggering for me.
145
00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:23,699
Well, hey, we can take care of this.
146
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,570
I'll sleep on the sofa,
you take the bed, okay?
147
00:06:26,580 --> 00:06:28,170
- Is that better?
- Yep.
148
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:33,009
I am jealous of the sleep
you're about to get.
149
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:35,310
I mean...
150
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:39,019
the couch is all warm from our butts.
151
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,449
If you'd rather sleep out here, I...
152
00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:42,090
Good night, Mom.
153
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,159
Oh, stupid Hank.
154
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,989
I'm a doormat?
155
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,059
Doormats go on the floor.
156
00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:52,929
I am up on the sofa, so...
157
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:55,640
Trying to sleep in here!
158
00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:08,049
I knew it.
159
00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:10,710
Your couch face.
160
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,819
Your creasy-corduroy-couch face.
161
00:07:13,820 --> 00:07:15,549
You slept on the sofa last night,
162
00:07:15,550 --> 00:07:17,789
just like I said you would, didn't you?
163
00:07:17,790 --> 00:07:19,359
Doormat.
164
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,000
Doormat.
165
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,420
I am not a doormat.
166
00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:26,399
So what if I slept on the couch?
You don't get it, Hank.
167
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,579
This is a mother-daughter thing,
168
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,720
and when she needs me, I melt.
169
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,230
Yeah, well, that does her no good.
170
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,540
You're a parent.
171
00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:33,769
You're not supposed to melt.
172
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:35,369
You're not one of her ice sculptures.
173
00:07:35,370 --> 00:07:37,109
You got to be something
that doesn't melt,
174
00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:38,379
like, uh, steel.
175
00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:41,040
No. No, steel melts.
176
00:07:41,050 --> 00:07:42,580
Or, uh, chocolate.
177
00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,379
Damn, that melts, too.
178
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,060
Why can't I think of
something that doesn't melt?
179
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,980
Don't worry about it,
Hank. I get the point.
180
00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:51,219
My God, does everything melt?
181
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,419
Geez, Hank. Wood. How about wood?
182
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:55,259
Yeah, Margaret, be wood.
183
00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:59,629
Be as inflexible and strong
as a big ol' hunk of wood.
184
00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:01,569
I ain't talking about a twig, neither.
185
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:02,940
I'm talking about wood.
186
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,839
Not balsa wood or pine.
187
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:10,539
I'm talking about maple
or oak or petrified wood.
188
00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:12,680
All right, Hank, I've got it!
189
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,049
And what do you care about it, anyway?
190
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:18,479
'Cause I had a mother
that was just like you.
191
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,599
Let me walk all over her.
192
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,289
Took me forever to grow up.
193
00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:25,519
Cost me relationships, jobs.
194
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:29,059
And you're not gonna believe
this, but most of my life,
195
00:08:29,060 --> 00:08:32,499
I was kind of a jerk.
196
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:35,599
I'm so glad those days
are behind you, Hank.
197
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,899
Look, I know my daughter.
198
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,699
The direct approach
does not work with her.
199
00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:42,369
I'm gonna get my bed back,
but I'm gonna do it my way.
200
00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:45,179
Let me guess. You're
gonna race her to bed
201
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:48,409
and act like you're
tired... and fake-yawn?
202
00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:50,579
Margaret.
203
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:53,980
Please tell me you're not
gonna go up in there
204
00:08:53,990 --> 00:08:55,849
- with no fake yawn.
- Oh, you know what?
205
00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:57,889
I don't need this. I've got something
206
00:08:57,890 --> 00:09:00,720
a little more advanced
up my sleeve, thank you.
207
00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:02,290
Mm-hmm.
208
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,259
Wait a minute.
209
00:09:06,260 --> 00:09:08,570
Wood burns.
210
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:12,000
This world wasn't built to last.
211
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:16,109
I'm trying to help you here, Charlie.
212
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:18,809
You have to get rid of something.
213
00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:20,740
Let's do a lightning round.
214
00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:23,650
How about this canister of
blue gel for barber combs?
215
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:26,850
Keep.
216
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:31,759
A photo album of a
random Filipino family?
217
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,119
Keep.
218
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,789
Come on, Charlie! This is all trash.
219
00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:38,559
No, this is not trash.
220
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,769
This is a rich treasure
trove of memories
221
00:09:41,770 --> 00:09:43,569
collected over a lifetime.
222
00:09:43,570 --> 00:09:46,969
This hacky sack was in my pocket
223
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:51,439
when I saw Sophia Loren
at the mall in 1988.
224
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,679
There are no beans in it.
225
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,579
No one can hack that sack!
226
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:58,010
This is not about the object.
227
00:09:58,020 --> 00:10:00,880
This is about the way it makes you feel.
228
00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:03,089
The way it takes you to a place
229
00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:05,359
where you yearn to go again.
230
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,230
The mall?
231
00:10:10,230 --> 00:10:11,959
Sid, you don't get it.
232
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:15,329
This is a time machine.
233
00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,499
All these things are.
234
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,139
I like knowing that I can
time-travel through my life
235
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:21,810
whenever I want.
236
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,510
I don't keep anything.
237
00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:30,150
I have thrown away so many
238
00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:32,579
of my own time machines.
239
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:35,249
A busted Daffy Duck watch here,
240
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:38,389
a chipped rhinestone belt buckle there.
241
00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:41,860
And now it's just too late.
242
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:45,160
No, it isn't.
243
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:48,630
Um... here.
244
00:10:50,670 --> 00:10:54,600
It's a time machine to this very moment.
245
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:57,209
Well, thank you.
246
00:10:57,210 --> 00:11:01,250
Thus begins my first hoard.
247
00:11:08,190 --> 00:11:09,789
Never mind.
248
00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:14,090
Your memories are crushing
my friggin' neck.
249
00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:28,969
What was that?
250
00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:32,339
That was a... that was a yawn.
251
00:11:35,350 --> 00:11:37,249
So tired.
252
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,659
I'm going to, uh... I'm
gonna go to sleep.
253
00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:40,919
You probably want to stay up
254
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,670
and watch TV for a little while longer,
255
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,839
so, uh, maybe you should
just, uh, take the couch.
256
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,759
And that will leave me
257
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,429
with the... bed.
258
00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:53,700
♪ I'm gonna be in my bed ♪
259
00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:55,499
♪ I'm gonna be in my bed ♪
260
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,269
♪ Bed, bed, bed. ♪
261
00:11:57,270 --> 00:11:58,599
Night.
262
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,169
Mom.
263
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,470
If you want your bed back,
264
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,270
you should just ask me, you big weirdo.
265
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,009
Oh, that would be great.
266
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:07,570
If there's anything
that you need from me,
267
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,809
you know I'll give it to you.
268
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:10,509
That's what we're like with each other.
269
00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:12,919
Which reminds me...
270
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:14,649
No.
271
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,219
It's stupid.
272
00:12:16,220 --> 00:12:18,050
What is it, sweetie?
273
00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:21,659
Well, a friend of mine just
told me about this studio
274
00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:22,789
that opened in her building,
275
00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:24,459
but I need a little cash
for a down payment.
276
00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:25,959
Okay. How much?
277
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,299
- $1,800, but I'd totally pay you back.
- Oh...
278
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,269
That's a lot of money for me, MJ.
279
00:12:31,270 --> 00:12:34,350
I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have even asked you.
280
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,309
- I'll ask Dad and Barbara.
- Uh...
281
00:12:36,310 --> 00:12:39,109
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Look.
282
00:12:39,110 --> 00:12:41,179
I am gonna go sleep in my bed,
283
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:42,539
and we'll talk about this
284
00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:44,310
in the morning and we'll
figure it all out.
285
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,019
Okay, well, I'm obviously crowding you,
286
00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:47,240
so I'll just go stay with them.
287
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,400
No, I'm not saying that you should go.
288
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,550
I'm just saying you should
sleep on the couch.
289
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:55,189
Okay, well, I'm having a hard
time seeing the difference.
290
00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:57,990
Come on. You don't even like Blah-Blah.
291
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,829
Her name is Barbara, Mom.
292
00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:04,000
Barbara.
293
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,550
All right, you take the bed.
I will give you the money.
294
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,769
- I just need to find my checkbook.
- I'll help you look.
295
00:13:09,770 --> 00:13:12,209
Oh, look, there it is, on
the table right there.
296
00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:13,980
With a pen next to it.
297
00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:18,770
Oh, look, you filled
it out and everything.
298
00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:20,990
Yeah. All you have to
do is sign right there.
299
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,589
Okay.
300
00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:27,020
Thanks, chica.
301
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,600
Wait, what the hell just happened?
302
00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:44,809
I know it's late, but I...
303
00:13:44,810 --> 00:13:47,139
I really need something from you.
304
00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:51,249
Well, well, well.
305
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,579
I knew this was gonna happen
306
00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:55,390
one of these lonely nights.
307
00:13:57,590 --> 00:14:00,119
But, girl, no.
308
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:03,029
- What?
- You know, next time,
309
00:14:03,030 --> 00:14:05,240
you should start with a "You up?" text.
310
00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:07,739
See, that way, you don't have to
face this humiliation in person.
311
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:10,459
Things are not that bad.
312
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:13,839
Things will never be that bad.
313
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,439
No, I'm here to tell you
that you were right
314
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,309
and... I need your advice.
315
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:23,460
Well, in that case, welcome to Hank's.
316
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:39,550
Just so I'm 100% correct on this,
317
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,629
you said I was right
318
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,560
and that you need my advice?
319
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:45,969
Can you say that again into my phone
320
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:47,940
so I got it on record?
321
00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:49,789
How long are you gonna milk this?
322
00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:51,489
Well, at least a couple of weeks.
323
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:53,630
Hey, I'm the milkman, baby.
324
00:14:54,990 --> 00:14:57,029
All right.
325
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,659
So, how bad is it?
326
00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:01,529
It's pretty bad.
327
00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:03,400
Well, you didn't give
her any money, did you?
328
00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:07,609
Well, tell me it was less than $100.
329
00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:10,309
Two?
330
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,309
Oh, no.
331
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:15,179
Did you give her $500?
332
00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:17,449
1,800.
333
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,719
$1,800?!
334
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:23,719
Ooh, I got to stand up and pace on that.
335
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,459
Ooh-wee!
336
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:29,259
You gave a homeless ice sculptor
337
00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:33,899
enough money to buy a
'93 Pontiac Sunfire?
338
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:37,280
Yes. I know, I screwed up.
You were right.
339
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:40,539
I need to be wood. I don't
know how to be wood.
340
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,839
Well, good thing you
came to the woodshop.
341
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,279
The milkman works at the woodshop?
342
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,680
Yep.
343
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,679
All right.
344
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:55,289
Margaret, you need to give
your daughter some tough love.
345
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:57,289
And it's 30 years overdue.
346
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,670
I know. I'm just concerned
about how she's gonna react,
347
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:00,929
and I don't want to push her away.
348
00:16:00,930 --> 00:16:03,089
Well, that's why it's called tough love.
349
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:05,329
You've been doing what's
easiest for Margaret.
350
00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:07,929
Now you got to do what's best for MJ.
351
00:16:07,930 --> 00:16:09,899
I don't know if I can.
352
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:11,700
I'll go with you, then.
353
00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:15,469
You want to put some pants on first?
354
00:16:15,470 --> 00:16:17,940
Tough love don't wear pants.
355
00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:20,570
Help me!
356
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,449
Get me out of here!
357
00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:25,649
Just hold on, buddy. I'm
moving as fast as I can.
358
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,679
Oh.
359
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,150
The key to my 13th apartment.
360
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,840
You know, there's a funny story
that goes with this, Sid.
361
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,259
Charlie!
362
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,239
No, you're-you're gonna
want to hear this.
363
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,700
It's got a monkey in it.
364
00:16:37,850 --> 00:16:40,249
Oh, shut up and start digging.
365
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,539
I'm claustrophobic.
366
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:45,720
And I'm not sure I'm alone in here.
367
00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:48,109
Okay. Well, hold on. I'll get you out.
368
00:16:48,110 --> 00:16:49,920
Oh, there's a hand.
369
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,880
Oh, that's not good.
370
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:59,069
Oh, I can breathe again.
371
00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:02,699
Charlie, I could have died in there.
372
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,110
I got little bitty lungs.
373
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,149
I'm so sorry, Sid.
374
00:17:17,150 --> 00:17:18,989
I'm glad you're okay.
375
00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:22,070
Did you ever think that instead
of collecting this crap,
376
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,029
you should be out there
living in the present?
377
00:17:25,030 --> 00:17:28,129
Do you know how many new
memories you've missed making
378
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:31,229
while you're in here
organizing your old ones?
379
00:17:31,230 --> 00:17:33,530
You're right.
380
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:35,239
I should get rid of some stuff.
381
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,939
I am so happy to hear you say that.
382
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:41,580
But before you do, I'm gonna
need that monkey story.
383
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,580
Does it smoke a cigarette?
384
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,460
Now, look here, little girl,
385
00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:51,770
you gonna sit down, and you gonna listen
386
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,750
to what your mama's got to say.
387
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,640
I'm already sitting down.
388
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,289
Mom, what is this?
389
00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:01,129
I'm here to be wood.
390
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:03,560
- What?
- I love you, MJ,
391
00:18:03,570 --> 00:18:05,019
but you got to sleep on the couch,
392
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:06,699
and you've got to give
me back that money.
393
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,170
Well, it doesn't sound
like you love me at all.
394
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,660
Don't fall for it, Margaret.
395
00:18:13,630 --> 00:18:14,829
What is he doing here?
396
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:16,089
Is this your boyfriend, Mom?
397
00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:17,839
Because you could do so much better.
398
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,640
What? Excuse me?
399
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,799
Don't change the subject, MJ.
400
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,199
The subject is you.
401
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,880
Yeah, and how you a loser!
402
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:27,319
Don't call my daughter a loser.
403
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,840
I can call my daughter a loser.
404
00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:30,470
You cannot call her a loser.
405
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,739
You're calling me a loser two
days after I got dumped?
406
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:36,009
That is so mean. No wonder Dad left you.
407
00:18:36,010 --> 00:18:38,719
Ooh, damn.
408
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,049
Is that really where
you want to take this?
409
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,389
You know what? I just
410
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:44,050
came here to get the ball rolling.
411
00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:45,920
The ball is rolling,
so let me just ease...
412
00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:48,789
It's not gonna work anymore, MJ.
413
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:51,499
I'm done feeling guilty
about the divorce,
414
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,799
so quit holding it against
me, and quit holding it
415
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,399
against your dumb, stupid, idiot father.
416
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,239
Look, I'm-a wait this
out in the bathroom.
417
00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,480
Margaret, what's your Wi-Fi?
418
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,930
You are an adult now, MJ.
419
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:03,339
It's time to grow up.
420
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:05,239
It's time to get a real job.
421
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,340
It's time to take some responsibility
422
00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:09,480
for your own damn life.
423
00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:11,920
I'm leaving.
424
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,090
Well, I'm glad I could help
you out with your daughter.
425
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,630
I'm gonna just... I'm tired. Ooh.
426
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,059
Still no word from MJ.
427
00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:40,200
I've called every ice dealer in town.
428
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,501
I guess you'll know she's all
right when the check clears.
429
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:48,000
It's too soon for a joke.
I realize that now.
430
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:51,339
Good news, Sid. I found your wok.
431
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,239
You're gonna want to rinse it off.
432
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,280
Oh, I'm so proud of you, buddy.
433
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:58,409
You got rid of all your stuff.
434
00:19:58,410 --> 00:20:01,579
Uh, I didn't say "all,"
but I whittled it down
435
00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:04,680
to a few thousand of my
most precious memories.
436
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:06,819
Couldn't have done it without you.
437
00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,550
You know, I usually
438
00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:10,659
don't take things in
this direction, but...
439
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,860
hoarders are always white people.
440
00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:15,980
Black people don't hoard.
441
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,129
Hey.
442
00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:21,040
Hey. I thought you left.
443
00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:24,269
Nah, I slept in an old canoe
someone left outside.
444
00:20:24,270 --> 00:20:26,680
Forgive me, Tulugaak.
445
00:20:26,770 --> 00:20:28,610
I just wanted to give
you your money back.
446
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,110
I decided I should figure
some things out on my own,
447
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,879
so I made some calls, and...
448
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,980
it looks like Stephanie needs a roommate
449
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,580
and Cynthia needs a receptionist
at her hair salon, so I'm good.
450
00:20:39,590 --> 00:20:42,089
Well, MJ, this is great.
451
00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:44,379
Nah, it's lame, but I guess it's time
452
00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:46,199
I move on from ice sculptures.
453
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,420
They just melt.
454
00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:50,499
Everything does.
455
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,900
You know, everything you said
to me really sucked, Mom,
456
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,999
but I kind of needed to hear it.
457
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,519
Thanks. I love you.
458
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,809
I love you, too, sweetie.
459
00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:05,840
Well, I'm off.
460
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,380
- Bye-bye, MJ. Nice meeting you.
- Bye, MJ.
461
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,220
Bye, Margaret Jr.
462
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,840
You named your daughter Margaret Jr.?
463
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,959
No wonder she's so messed up.
464
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,529
Wow, I can't believe it. I
finally got through to her.
465
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:23,229
This is really great, Margaret.
466
00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,330
Your 35-year-old daughter
467
00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:28,229
might be getting a job.
468
00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:29,900
Kudos!
469
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:35,180
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
33442
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof