All language subtitles for 01_LN

Get a couple
more shots in.

Okay.

You know what I want you
to do? Be really brave.

I want you to jump up
so you--

Jump as high as you can, so you
and Mike are the same height.

On the count
of three. Okay?

One, two, jump!

Cool! All right.

- I blinked, though,
'cause he threw his arms.

I think when I was with him,
he was happy.

Michael,
you don't understand that.
- Yeah!

Kids and animals,
they always try to do that.

He was at the peak

of his creativity,

and he was at the peak
of his success.

And everybody wanted to meet
Michael or be with Michael.

He was already
larger than life.

And then he likes you.

He was one of the kindest,

most gentle, loving,

caring people I knew.

He helped me... tremendously.

He helped me with my career.

He helped me
with my creativity,

with all of those
sorts of things.

And he also
sexually abused me.

For seven years.

Want to turn him on?

He just wants to eat it. Oh!

I'm Wade Robson.

So, I was born
in Brisbane, Australia,

and I am the third
of three kids.

My dad, he worked
in construction for a while,

and then he got into,
like, the fruit business.

So, when I was young,
he had a couple of fruit shops.

And my mother
used to work with him,

with those businesses.

Hi, I'm Joy Robson,
mother of Wade Robson.

Well, we were a middle-class

Australian family.

We lived on three acres.

We had horses and angora goats,

and a dog named Sally.

Where's it supposed
to be going?

In here!

- Shane was quite a bit older.
- He's nine and a half years

older than Wade, and he was...

already well into elementary
school when Wade was born.

It was just a, like a,
I think, a three-bedroom,

like, single-story house.

We had a pool.

There was always, like,
always family over,

and I had parties there
and pool parties.

Pretty good memories
from that place.

Chantal was very
close with him.

Being three years apart,
they played together a lot.

Wade was always a...

a very sensitive boy.

He wasn't really a guy's guy.
He wasn't into, like--

You know, he played basketball
for fun as a little kid,

but if he had a choice
of doing anything,

he was gonna read a book
or listen to music

or dance, you know,

versus going outside to play
football with his friends.

He was the youngest
in the area,

so he really had
nobody to play with.

So he and I,
we were very close.

We spent a lot
of time together.

One, two, three! Go!

I remember one day coming home

with the video of
The Making of Thriller.

Someone had told me that it
would be a collector's item.

I really wasn't a fan of his,

but I did like
some of his music.

Once I saw that tape,
you know,

everything changed for me.

The music,
I couldn't help but move to it.

Kind of set me on fire.

You know, just made
everything tingle,

and it was so exciting.

I remember just
watching the tape

over and over again.

Pausing, rewinding.

I would just try over
and over and over again

to really perfect
the complexities

of Michael's movement.

I slowly but surely started,
you know, plastering

my walls with images of Michael,

and it literally became
like the wallpaper.

So...

going to sleep, waking up in
Michael Jackson land.

Jackson's world tour
coincides with the release

of his latest album,
entitled Bad.

Sales are good.

A half-million copies were sold
the day it went on the market.

Not since Thriller
five years ago

has the record industry been
so focused on a single album.

He would've just turned five,

and people kept telling me,
you know, he's really good.

You should, you should do
something with him.

That week, a friend of mine
came to me and said,

"You know Michael Jackson's
here on the Bad tour."

I said, yes, actually,
I thought about buying tickets.

But I thought, he's so young,
I don't think I--

She said,
"You should go." She said,

"There's a dance competition.
You should enter him.

First prize is to meet
Michael Jackson."

The competition was
only like a week
before the concert.

And he went into the heat,

and they were held
in the Target store.

He had his little hat on,
his little Bad outfit.

My hairdresser
had made it for him.

I was actually too young.

It was, like,
seven or eight, and up,

and I was five at the time.

So, they said, "Well,
you know, he can't compete

"because of his age, but, um,

but we'll let him perform
as, like, a special guest."

It's one of those little
things that he got on stage
and everything changed.

He just wasn't that shy,
little boy, and he had
got on stage

and brought the place down.

Everybody was
screaming for him.

And at the end of it,
the store manager
was the judge,

and he said, "Well,
I wanna get out of here alive,

so I'm going to declare
Wade Robson the winner."

Michael Jackson's people
were there to interview

and asked him,

if he could speak to Michael,
what would he say.

I'm gonna ask him if he might
come over to dinner.

Coming over for dinner.

Why would you want him
to come over for dinner?

I want him to...

I want him to show
me how he dances.

Oh, well,
that's a big deal.

You're gonna see
the show, you know that?

You gonna be able to see
him dance then?

-Mm-hmm.
-You think
that's gonna be nice?

Yeah? Why is that
gonna be so nice?

-Because I get to see him.
-Yeah.

You know, this complete
impossibility,

this being from another world--

Michael, and supposedly
it was gonna happen,

and we were actually
gonna meet now.

I was just excited
beyond measure.

I remember getting this

glow that sort of
started in my heart

and went to all my extremities.

It was an amazing feeling.

When something magical
was going to happen,

I would get that feeling.

I'm James Safechuck.

I grew up in a little town
called Simi Valley.

I was pretty happy
and pretty outgoing.

Kind of a performer, I guess.

My father worked
at a rubbish company.

So, we had a family
rubbish company

that my grandfather started.

My mom, she had
a hair styling business,

and, um, I remember being
in the beauty salon as a kid.

I'd hang out there
while she was working

and just sweep the floors.

My name is Stephanie Safechuck.

I'm Jam--

I'm Jimmy's mother.

When I married Jimmy's father,

he had two children,
it came with the marriage.

At the time, my husband
had had a vasectomy,

and I didn't think
I could have any children.

About three, four years
into the marriage,

I really wanted a baby.

So, my husband had
it reversed for me,

which back then,
they guaranteed nothing.

I was so fortunate
to have a baby.

I just remember having him
and being overwhelmed,

just crying over his crib,
that he'll always be all right.

He's my love.

I have an older brother
and older sister.

They are much older.

They left home early also, so...

I was alone.

It was actually
a friend of ours,

her daughter was
in commercials,

and ran into
my husband and Jimmy

in the grocery store and said,

"You ought to get
him in commercials.

He is so adorable,"
and gave my husband

the agent's card.

So, I called the agent,

and when she met him, she said,

"He's money in the bank.
I'll take him."

So, he did very well right away.

Michael?

Mr. Jackson?

I met Michael on the set

of the Pepsi commercial.

I don't remember being

a huge fan of his at the time.

I was probably more into, like,

Voltron and Transformers.

This kid wanders
around backstage

and he discovers
the dressing room,

and he goes in there
and he sees the jackets
and the hats

and the glasses and all that,
and I'm trying it on.

And then,
Michael walks in and...

and he says...

Looking for me?

They were trying to get

my reaction on camera
the first time I saw him.

So, first time I see him is
actually the shot

that they use in the commercial.

He invited me
into his, um, trailer.

This was exciting for Jimmy,

and I didn't want
to be in his way.

I wanted Jimmy to have fun
and have a good day,

so I let Jimmy go
in his trailer,

Michael's trailer,
with Michael's hairstylist

and makeup artist, Karen.

And I stayed outside.
What she said to me was,

"He's like a nine-year-old
little boy."

So, that made me
feel comfortable.

How do you explain
Michael Jackson?

He's larger than life.

There's no stars like that now,

that kind of megastar.

And everybody wanted to meet
Michael or be with Michael.

He was quiet,
and he laughed a lot at me,

and he was giggly.

The stand-in,
we became kind of buddies,
and I looked at him and I said,

"Oh, we're the luckiest
boys in the world."

He was performing
two nights in Brisbane.

We went to the first night
of the concert just to watch,

and that was the first time

I'd seen him perform live.

I remember my mind
just being blown.

Experiencing his
energy magnified...

through all those
thousands of people,

and through all those speakers,
you know, and that energy

just kind of shaking
my whole body.

We went to the concert
the Friday night,

and we had a meet
and greet with Michael.

Here he was now...

as, you know,

a seemingly real human being.

He kept commenting
on my Bad outfit,

how great he thought it was.

And Michael said, "Were you
at the concert tonight?"

And we said yes. He said,
"I wish I'd known. I would've
put him on stage with me."

The stage mother
in me kicked in.

I said, "We'll be
there tomorrow night,"

'cause they had given us
tickets as well as the winner.

So, he said,
"I'll see what I can do."

Wade won a dancing competition
this week on Thursday night

at Indooroopilly.
He won the dancing competition.

These are some of
the photos of him in action.

The next day, I was on...

a TV show,
like a morning TV show.

Wade, come on over,
very quickly,

because we're gonna
tell everyone.

This is a secret, okay?
This is a bit of a secret.

Now tonight,
what's gonna
happen tonight?

Um...

When I saw him,
Michael Jackson

told me to go on stage
with him and dance.

Well, best of luck. I hope
you do dance with him tonight.

So, if you're going to
Michael Jackson tonight,

-keep an eye out
for Wade, okay?
-Yeah.

Music is still blaring,

and all the lights are going,
this intensity.

It was a wild sensation.

Then all of a sudden,
this huge black man

came out of nowhere
with a big top hat,

and took Wade
out of Dennis's arms,

and told us to wait there,
and took him backstage.

You know, being--
The curtains being pulled back,

right, of kind of just
the whole world behind
the scenes-- his world.

Michael came up to me

and grabbed my hand,

and just sort of gave
me a signal like,

you know, come on,
like, let's do it.

I kind of look out
at this sea of people,

and then something clicked.

And I grabbed my hat,
you know...

... and threw it off,

and just started going,
started dancing.

Like, I was him, almost,

for a moment.
I mean, you know,

the center of his stage
with his audience.

You got all these other kids,

and Stevie Wonder
was on stage as well.

He was singing with Michael.

We love you!

And then, it was time
for Michael to leave.

It was the end of the concert,
so he called the kids

to follow him off stage.

But Wade was
so into what he was doing,

he didn't see that,
and he's still dancing.

So, Michael's
sort of walked away

and realized
Wade wasn't coming,

and he turned back
and he laughed.

Michael just clapped
and walked off,

and Wade suddenly realized
everybody was leaving,

so he followed them out.
It was very cute.

Each moment of that actual
kind of eye connection...

was, uh...

like a bit of a shock
to the system.

That performance,
that meet and greet,

were such dream-like...

experiences, and kind of, um,

sensory overload,

an emotional overload.

I remember them coming
home after the concert,

and Dad come in my bedroom,
and he was all excited

'cause Wade had danced
with Michael Jackson,

and I remember Dad,
kind of, getting teary-eyed
telling us...

telling the story
about it, you know,

dancing with Michael Jackson.

The next morning, I wanted
to bring in a thank-you letter

for Michael 'cause
this was his last concert.

He was leaving Australia.

There were
a lot of fans around,
and they all recognized Wade.

So, he was a little celebrity.

They were all taking photos
with him and talking to him.

Michael had heard
that we were in the lobby,

and he wanted us
to come up to his room.

And I can remember Wade's face
just lighting up.

"I'm gonna meet
a real superstar."

He was so excited.

I mean, this was--
Who gets to meet their hero,
their superhero?

This is this little boy
getting to do it twice now.

We end up spending
about two hours with him

in his hotel suite.

He was in some sort
of editing process

for his Moonwalker film.

It's like, there he was
on the TV screen,

as I was used to seeing him,

and then there he was,

sitting right next
to me on the bed.

Michael's hand was
rubbing up and down

on the sheets right beside my
elbow as he was talking to us.

And I can remember thinking,

"Oh my God. I'm on a bed
with Michael Jackson."

I can remember thinking
that no one's ever
gonna believe this.

It was pretty overwhelming.

We all had
an overwhelming weekend,

that is for sure.

This little Australian boy,

who had had
this other-worldly,

impossible experience

of having this meeting with

my idol and my mentor
and my god.

Like I'd been...

anointed, you know,
in some kind of way.

One day, the phone rang,
I picked it up.

"Hi, this is Michael.

"I'm calling from
Australia. I was--

I saw Jimmy's commercial."

I thought, how touching.

He doesn't think
it's his commercial.

He thinks it's Jimmy's.

So, I put Jimmy
on the phone,

and I could hear Jimmy say,

"People tell me at school
that you're weird."

Michael said, "Don't listen
to what anybody says.

You know me,
You know I'm not weird,"

and that started
the relationship.

So, Michael's still
in Australia, and asked

if he could send a crew
to our house to film Jimmy.

So, a crew came.

Jimmy didn't have
any posters of Michael,

so they put up
posters of Michael

all through Jimmy's bedroom,
so that when they filmed it,

you know,
it was more appealing.

It was exciting for all us,
for the whole family.

And I was thrilled!

Like, wow!

Because it's, um...

It's like...

It's hard to believe
that I can see Michael Jackson

when people just dream
about him.

And that stuff,
it's really neat.

I sat on the bed and put
all this memorabilia there,

and they just interviewed me,

and then I did
a little dance performance
and they filmed that.

Now, that I look...
Now that I look back on it,

it's almost like
an audition for him

when he sends
his film crew out.

He didn't explain it.

I just figured he's far away.

This is part of how
he can be with people,

and he made it clear
that he was very lonely.

He didn't have any friends.

And then, his...

secretary or somebody
called and...

asked if we would

like to go to dinner
at the Hayvenhurst house.

Going to Hayvenhurst,
it felt...

it felt magical, I guess.

The house is beautiful.

It had the recording studio,
so we went in there,

and I think we saw
his brothers, said hi.

We had dinner and watched

Batteries Not Included.

He gets movies
before they come out,

so he had a little
movie theater there.

I remember seeing his dance
floor for the first time.

Kind of a magical thing to see
Michael at the dance floor,

like, his private dance floor.

We were so excited.

This was big for us.

Nobody can befriend him.

He has to befriend people.

He's unapproachable.

So, for him to wanna be
our friend

was, "Oh my God!

How lucky are we?"

Mom and Dad,
I think they were in awe.

And you're just starstruck.

You know, it's, um...

It's like...

And then at the same time,

he's becoming a real person.

He's not this sort of,
like, two-dimensional icon.

He gives you focused attention,

and I think at that age,

you want to be important,

and you want to be
noticed and loved.

So, it's a powerful, um,

attraction.

We went into the closet
and we're looking at his stuff

and he told me I can
pick out a jacket.

I could have that,
that would be mine.

I picked the Thriller jacket.

Of course. Go big.

And I took it home.
I wore it to the grocery store.

As I was leaving, he gave me
an envelope full of cash,

several hundred dollars.

Which, at the time, was a lot.
It's still a lot.

He had our phone number,
and he called the next day.

And he was gonna be by himself.

And I couldn't believe that,
how can this man be by himself?

And so, my parents offered
to go pick him up.

We got in the car, and we drove
to the Hayvenhurst house.

And there's always,
like, reporters and fans,

so we had to sneak him out.

Michael was ducked
with me in the back.

Some people gave chase
and we had to,

like, lose them and...

So, I think my father
was excited to, like,

"lose the reporters."

He had to drive fast
or something.

And he came to our house,

and went through
Jimmy's closets,

went through everything,

acted like a little boy,
giggling.

You watch movies,
and you eat popcorn.

He loved popcorn.

Michael would come
to our house a lot.

Michael and I would take

walks around my neighborhood.

Just talking

and walking and...

It would be at night time,
of course,

so he could sort of hide.

As soon as somebody
noticed him,

then the newspapers
would be there and...

I think I went to Hayvenhurst
a few times.

The more I would visit,
the more, sort of, alone time

you'd get with him.

So, I brought him some toys,
and he gave me some gifts.

It's more like
hanging out with a friend

that's more your age.

So, it feels natural.

I came to feel like

he was one of my sons

by how he behaved.

I loved him.

He was a son I started
to take care for.

He would spend the night.
I'd wash his clothes.

At the time,
when I was thinking about

should we get Jimmy
in commercials,

I prayed to the Lord that

if this is good for Jimmy,

open the doors for him
and let this happen.

And if it's not,
don't let it happen.

Well, of course,
the doors opened so quickly.

And then, when Michael
would come to our house,

I had told this story
to Michael about how I prayed

about this before it happened.

Well, Michael tells me,

"I prayed, too.

"I prayed that
I could have a friend.

And then I met Jimmy."

Well, to me,

the two prayers came together,

and this was a friendship
that was meant to be.

I went to Hawaii with Michael

for the Pepsi convention.

The trip felt
like an adventure.

Rented out an amusement
park for the night,

and everybody went
there and played.

We were treated
very nicely there.

We went on a helicopter ride,

which was nice.

And I remember
there were dolphins,

and you could just go see them.

I mean, we're
from a small town,

so this is bigger than,

I think, anybody's expectations.

I wanted them to have fun,
and I wanted my son

to be happy
and have a good time.

So, I stayed my distance there
in Hawaii during the day.

The hotel was
beautiful, of course.

And I remember
really wanting to stay
in the room with him, and...

my mom wouldn't allow it
at the time.

I didn't think it
was appropriate

for my son to go
sleep with him.

I knew he was a kind man,
and he was doing everything

to make our trip there
as good as it could be,

but, you know, that--
it didn't fit-- you don't, um...

It didn't feel right.
You don't...

go sleep with,

you know, somebody else
that you don't really know.

Jimmy was, "Please,
Mom, please!" You know,

'cause he loved Michael.

But, no, I wouldn't let him.

But made sure I had
my meals with them

and that Jimmy slept with me.

And that's how it was
the first trip.

I remember the plane
being quite empty.

And I did this mock
interview with him.

He said I could ask
him anything I wanted.

We're in the air. We're
on our way home from Hawaii.

Thousands of feet in the air
on this DC-10.

I've had a wonderful
time with Jimmy.

Are you taping?

- Sure.
- Uh...

You can ask anything.

I was just playing reporter.

And he never gave interviews,

so it was kind of like,
sure, you can interview me,

but nobody else
got interviews,

so it was also a big deal.

How did you like Hawaii?

What was your,
like, best thing?

My best
thing about Hawaii?
Yeah.

Being with you.

How do you feel about, um,

performing and stuff,
do you like it?

I love performing.

It is the greatest thing
in the world because, um...

I feel at home on stage.
I could live on stage.

I'm the most happiest
when I'm on stage,

and when I'm with
Jimmy Safechuck.

But the best commercial
of all the Pepsi commercials

is the one that you and I did.

And I'm not just saying that,
that's the best one.

'Cause it has heart.

Every time I see it,
it makes me smile.

And I hope to be you all's
friends for a long-- forever,

for a long time.

Good-bye, signing off! Bye.

And it's...

hard to listen to.

You can hear, like,

the infatuation,

and, and...

how much I was
attracted to him,

and then also, his...

like, reeling...

his attraction
to you, for like...

making you feel special.

- It's Michael.
- I'm calling from London.

I'm calling because

I love you all, and I miss
you very, very much.

I feel like you belong
to me as well.

Bye. I love you all. Bye.

A lot of our conversations
were on the telephone.

My son would be on the phone,
hours with Michael, hours.

And he talked to me.
He would call just to talk

to me during the day, and...

that wa-- long conversations.

So, that's how he got
to know people, I think.

You knew my voice right away?

Yeah, I jumped up,
and I ran to the phone.

You knew
my voice right off?
Uh-huh.

We were talking on
the phone pretty regularly,

and I was dancing
and taking dance seriously,

and it was like...

"Come join me on tour."

And he said,

"You can choose
wherever you wanna come,

and stay as long
as you wanna come."

So, as soon as school ended,

I joined the tour
for the summer.

My mother went,

and my father would join
whenever he could,

but he wasn't there
the whole time.

He flies you first class.

You have a limo waiting
for you at the airport.

Amazing. You know, it's life...

of the rich and famous.

I came on at the end
of the song "Bad."

And they would pick kids out

of the crowd during the show,

and then I'd lead,
like, 10 or 12 kids out.

I'd have a Bad outfit
on that was just like his...

and so, I would dance.

We'd, like, side-moonwalked
and did a few moves together.

I love you!

It's hard to explain to people
what tour is like.

It's pretty crazy.

- We love Michael!
- We love Michael!

The excitement
of him just walking

from his car, from
the hotel to the car, is...

is insane.

People are shoving you
and snapping pictures, and...

holding onto the door handles,

and being dragged by the car.

They're crying and...

It's a unique experience...

that level of star power.

I'm 10, on the tour,

you know, having
shows every night,

and it's a bit overwhelming.

I love you, Michael!

There's all these
sort of amazing moments

on tour that you don't get
in normal life.

None of us were
living a normal life

when we traveled with Michael.

I got to meet Sean Connery.

That was big for me.
It was like,

"Oh my God, Sean Connery!"

And then at the shows,

there's stars come in
to meet him.

I think I met Harrison Ford

and George Lucas and...

Steven Spielberg and...

And we even went to the set of

the Indiana Jones movie.

And Harrison Ford
took me outside,

and showed me how
to use his bullwhip.

And then he gave
me the bullwhip.

I was on a bus
with Tina Turner.

They bused the VIPs
back and forth to the hotel.

And I heard her tell her
boyfriend at the time,

I was sitting close,

"That little white
boy sure can dance."

Well, I knew she was
talking about Jimmy!

And that was like,
"Oh, I know, he can dance."

But I was so proud of Jimmy.

It was always a proud moment
to see him on stage.

By that time,
you're already best buds.

So, it's like,
two friends going
on an adventure

or something like that.

You're not going off
and doing normal things

people do when they travel.

So, you spend
a lot of time just
in the hotel room with him.

And the hotel rooms are,
you know,

the president suites,
so they're quite large.

So, there's lots of room
to play, and...

you just grow...

closer.

I remember we would
fall asleep together,

and then when I wake up,
he would be in another room.

And I would be... hurt
that he was in another room,

and so I'd ask him to stay.

It seems like
it was a natural...
thing that happened.

My husband and I
had to have said,

"Yes, you can go sleep
with Michael."

In Paris, he introduced me
to masturbation...

and that's how it started.

Michael and I were in his room.

He set it up like,
"I'm gonna show you something

that everybody does,
and you'll really enjoy it."

So, it was like he was
teaching you something new.

And I remember...

my penis swelling up

'cause I did it so much
that first time.

I must've...
must've done it a few times.

And so, I remember dipping
my penis in warm water.

Michael filled
a cup up with water,

so I could pee.
It was hard to pee.

I don't have any unpleasant...

memories, other than
not being able to pee.

It felt like you were...

bonding, in a way.

The tour was the start of this

sexual, like,
couple relationship.

He was with Michael 24/7.

I would go visit Jimmy, um,

make sure he was okay,
but Jimmy was always,

"You can go, Mom.
You can go, Mom."

He didn't want me there.

I missed him.
I really missed my son,

uh, not being with him.

Michael would like it if you...

if you would bend over, and,

like, spread open your cheeks.
That's what he liked.

And then he would masturbate.

And he liked, um...

if I rubbed his nipples.

So, we would do stuff,
and then, in the end,

when he wanted
to ejaculate, he would...

he would finish himself.

Our room started to get further

and further away
from Michael's room.

And when I asked about it,

we weren't even on
the same floor now.

I asked in Paris,

and I asked about that,
and they said,

"We couldn't get you a suite

"close to Michael.
No suites available.

This is where we could
get you the nicest room."

That made sense to me,
so I, "Okay."

But in Germany, we were, like,
really far away from them.

And same thing.

Same thing. "We couldn't
get you a suite near them."

He would run drills
with me where,

you'd be in the hotel room,
and he would pretend like

somebody was coming in,
and you had to get dressed

as fast as possible
without making noise.

So not getting caught was a big,

like, just kind of fundamental.

It was very much a secret,
and...

he would tell me that

if anybody found out,

his life would be over
and my life would be over.

And that's something he tells
you over and over again.

And French kissing.

He... said
I introduced that to him.

Two, jump!

-Cool! All right.
-I blinked, though,
'cause he threw his arms.

And it evolved from, like,

French kissing and then

kissing different
parts of the body,

and then, finally, like,

kissing the genitals.

He started with, like,
"Kiss it. Can I kiss it?"

I remember one time
I was sleeping,

and I woke up and Michael said

that he had performed oral sex
on me while I was sleeping.

And I was like, oh, okay.

I wanted to know what's
going on in the room.

My son doesn't know this,

but I would, you know,

go to the door, try to listen,

hear what conversation
was going on,

and then I'd sneak away.

I wasn't worried
that anything was going on.

I guess it was more curious.
What are they doing in there?

What were they doing?

Playing. Reading.
Michael was reading--

He bought him a lot of
nice, good books, you know,

and poems.
He'd read poems to him.

Just kid things.
They were just doing kid things.

So, I wouldn't actually,
like, ejaculate.

It would be this...

like, kind of lubricant
without anything in it,

and that would sort of leak out.

- From you?
- From me, yeah.

But Michael would ejaculate.

He said that I was his
first sexual experience,

and he would say
that all the time.

He's the biggest entertainer,
and he's a creative genius,

and that creative genius
thinks that you're special.

What's not to like, right?

Michael would always hold
Jimmy's hand, and he said,

"Would you to talk to Jimmy
about holding my hand?

"People are gonna get
the wrong impression.

You know how people think."

Somebody special's in there.

Michael Jackson.

"They're gonna think
something nasty about it.

"Nothing's going on,

but this is gonna look
like something's going on."

Myself and Michael
would scratch each other,

here, on the palm, so that
you were holding your hand...

And that meant,

like, you were thinking
of them sexually.

Happy New Year, Mike!

There's no thoughts
of this is wrong

or anything like that.

It's just a very...
accepted way of

expressing your love.

That's what he would say.

He was very close to us,

seeing us every day,
staying at our home.

We were the first guests
he had, to go to Neverland.

I actually have the brochure

that they used to market it,
to sell it.

And he said, "I'm gonna
purchase this house,

and it's gonna be yours."

Like, "This place is for you."

Me and Michael would be
there a lot together,

like, for a week at a time.

His property was massive,

so nobody was near him.

You know, the next ranch
was quite a ways.

They have the most
beautiful guest rooms.

- This was the room I chose.
- I loved this room.

You could stay at any
guest room you wanted.

And Jimmy stayed with
Michael in the big house.

We had people cooking for us.

He had a beautiful wine cellar.

You know, really good
wine, champagne,

that was just
something I enjoyed.

It was a fairy tale
every night.

The routine was

we would get a blanket
and lay it down

on the floor
and inside of the closet,

next to his main bed,

so we could close
the doors and have,

like, several sort of doors
people had to get through.

It was just the hall
that leads to his room.

So, there were
bells so you could

have a moment of
hearing them trip,

and at least it alarmed him
to when people are coming.

There was, like, kissing, and...

I think, just kind of
rubbing on each other.

And then, um...

oral sex,

and then...

he would want me to suck
on his nipples,

and then he would
finish himself.

He also had a, like,
an Indian fort with tepees,

and so we would lay down
sleeping bags,

have snacks, and then...

have sexual relations there.

There was also a game room,

and then upstairs
in the arcade,

there was another room.

And it had a bed in there.

We would go into that room

and have sex there.

There's this attic,
there's a third-floor attic.

It was kind of secluded,

like, you could only
really get to it from...
from these steep stairs,

so you could tell if
somebody was coming.

So, we would go in there
and have sex.

There's toys everywhere,

things to do.

So, they just kind
of mix together.

He had another house far away

from the main house,

and then there he had
a lot of memorabilia.

He had his jackets from,
like, the Grammys,

the rhinestone ones,
and his glove.

And that was
far away from people,

and you could see if somebody
was driving up his narrow road.

And we would have
sex in there, too.

The movie theater had
these two, like, private rooms.

Um, it had big glass windows,
so you could see the theater.

And so, we would have
sex in those rooms.

That was a bit dangerous.

So, there was a bit
of excitement there.

So, I didn't tell
him I was coming,

and the door was locked.

And so, you have to knock loud

because, you know,
the movie's on.

And, he made some exc--

He came down, unlocked it,
and did make some excuse.

He didn't mean to lock the door.

He didn't know
the door was locked.
That's what he told me.

He was in there with Jimmy,
they were in the bed.

They were clothed.

Still, didn't think anything.

There was a castle
in the theme park

and upstairs had a bedroom.

You could see
if somebody was coming.

It had just this small bed,

it's upstair-- and up there,
we would have sex.

The pool and the Jacuzzi--

oral sex,

like, holding your breath
and then going down,

kind of like a game.

At the train station,
there's a room upstairs,

and we would have
sex up there, too.

It would happen every day.

It sounds sick,
but it's kind of like

when you're first
dating somebody,

right, and you do
a lot of it.

So, it was very much like that.

At the same time the sexual
relationship is growing,

he's working on
pushing you away
from your parents,

or pushing you away
from everybody else, and...

and it feels more like...

like it's just you and him.

My husband and I
are still together.

However, we have
separate bedrooms.

But our marriage was so bad,
the whole situation,

and I don't know that--

I don't even think my son knew

because my son was
so busy having fun.

He didn't know that Jim and I
were in separate bedrooms,

barely getting along.

We would listen in on
people's phone calls.

Eavesdrop on my parents
when they were fighting.

And he would tell me...

"Look how mean your mom is

and how evil women are."

But, at the time, you just hear
your mom yelling at your dad,

and Michael feeds into that.

Your love for him is growing
and your relationships

with other people
are getting less.

Your success is
an American dream come true.

It's constantly
reinforced, too,

by everybody else
in the world.

So, it's a really
intense feeling

'cause everybody
else is loving him.

It's like everybody's on board,
so it's very powerful.

You start to think
that your parents are bad

and that Michael is good.

We may not have Michael Jackson
on the program tonight,

but we have the next
best thing, Wade Robson.

Joy and Dennis Robson are
suitably proud of their son.

It's really amazing because

everything he does

we haven't taught him anything.

The whole...
the act that he does

is all himself.

Nobody's taught him anything.

I started to like Michael,

and I started
copying the moves,

and that's how
I started dancing.

I mean, if he wanted to stop,
there'd be no pressure. Fine.

If that's what he wants
to do, that's fine.

What do you wanna be
when you grow up?

I wanna be a star,

and keep everybody happy
while I'm doing it.

I auditioned for

a dance company in Brisbane

called the Johnny Young
Talent School.

I mean, this was, you know,
a jazz dance company,

but I showed up
as Michael Jackson,

in the full outfit again.

And they wanted
me in the company,
and I got in the company,

and I became their
Michael Jackson.

You know, we started
performing at malls

and all that sort of thing,
pretty constantly,

every weekend at least.

At some point,
the hair got permed.

That was taking it
to a new level for me.

He had the full curls
and... yeah.

It's like a kid
with his superhero,

being obsessed
with a superhero,

but taking it up
three or four notches.

It was kind of... kind of weird.

Every show they did
was based around Wade,

and it was amazing how
this woman would work "Bad"

into every scenario,
or "Smooth Criminal,"

even Christmas.

And then, they announced
that they were all going

to dance in Disneyland
for Australia Day.

Because it was
a big America trip,

obviously my mom
and my dad were gonna go,

and then my grandparents
came as well.

My name is
Lorraine Jean Cullen,

and I'm Wade Robson's
grandmother.

He used to copy
all the latest steps

that Michael Jackson did.

Forever dancing,
wouldn't matter where he was.

It wasn't my sort of dancing,
that's for sure.

But we just all went
on the plane together,

and we went over to Disneyland.

There was, like,
hundreds of kids, like,

all in our red sweatsuits
that said Johnny Young
Talent School,

like, going to America
for the first time.

Michael had said,
that last time we saw him,

"If you ever come
to America, look me up."

It's like, oh sure,
you just look him up

in the White Pages and find him?

I started calling around
some of the television shows

that Wade had been on,

trying to find a number
where we could contact Michael.

And we got passed around,
passed around, passed around,

and finally, somebody
gave me a number,

Michael's personal assistant.

So, we called her,
and she said,

"Oh, let me talk to Michael,

and I will call you back."

So, she did.

She called back and said
Michael remembered Wade,

and wanted to meet us,
and asked if we would meet him

in Sherman Oaks
at Record One,

where he was recording
his new album.

The impossible.

You don't just come to America
and start calling some numbers,

and get in contact with
Michael Jackson somehow,

and then you're
gonna see him again.

Like, that was just
not a normal scenario.

My mom, Wade,
myself, and my dad,

all went to Record One,

and that's the first time that
I actually had met Michael.

He was doing some sort of
photo shoot in the lobby area.

My mother and father and sister

got in for a sort of
group photo with Michael,

and then he and I took
some shots alone.

I was in a full custom
Smooth Criminal outfit.

We showed him
some tapes of dancing,

performances,
things I've been doing

over the last two years
that he wanted to see.

I think it was a Friday,

and he said, you know,
"Do you and the family,

do you guys wanna come
to Neverland for the weekend?"

Michael asked
if me and my sister

wanted to drive with him,
and of course I did.

And my parents and grandparents
would follow behind.

I remember him
playing us some music,

like some unreleased music.

Just getting this, like,
secret access, right,

to him and to his world.

It was sort of surreal
for us, for all of us.

Hollywood and this whole
entertainment business was, um,

on another planet
from where we were.

As we were getting
closer and closer

to Neverland and, you know,
Michael telling us,

only about 15 more minutes
or 10 more minutes, and just...

the excitement really building.

You had to pull up
at the gate,

and the guards came
and wanted to make sure

you didn't have any cameras
or anything like that.

It was a little
bit intimidating.

I hadn't met any
celebrities ever,

and I was quite lost,

but I had my husband
there, so, yes.

- It's like a fairy land.
- It's all fairy lights,

and there's beautiful lakes
that are all lit up,

and the house was all lit up.
It was just amazing.

As soon as you pulled in,
there's music going.

There's flowers everywhere.

It felt like you were driving
into this little heaven,
you know.

The car pulls up,

and there's
everybody that works

at the ranch kind of lined up,
ready to greet you.

I've never been in that
type of world before,

and such a big house and...

it was magical.

I mean, we were
all tripping out,
you know, on this place.

You know, it was just...
out of a...

out of a storybook, right,
out of a fairy tale.

Michael showed us
all around the house,

and at that time,
he only had the theater.

He didn't have
all the other things.

It's like a child's
dream come true.

There's a big candy store there

that you just help yourself to,
soft-serve ice cream,

and all the chocolates
in the world, and popcorn,
and then a beautiful theater.

To the left was a dining room,

and then kitchen, living room.

Tons of beautiful paintings
and statues everywhere.

It was more than just

going to someone's house
that was beautiful.

You know, it felt like
a lot more than that,

a lot different than that.

It felt like traveling
to another planet.

And then we all came
back to the guest units,

and Michael came back
with the children.

They'd been looking
at some other things.

And they came in and...

they asked if they could stay
with Michael for the night.

The guest quarters is
a separate building,

essentially, kind of,
across from the main house,

with about, I think,
four hotel rooms.

"You can stay in the guest
quarters with your parents
if you want,

"or if you want, you can,
you know, you can stay
with me, in my room."

And I was like, you know,
I wanna stay with Michael.

So, we thought, oh, okay.

We didn't seem to think
anything of it.

We just thought that's fine,
and Chantal was with him
as well.

Like, for me to look back
on the scenario now,

what you'd think would be
standard, kind of, instincts
and judgment,

uh, seemed to go out the window.

Even if we knew him,

which we didn't, at all.

We'd known him for,

I don't know what,
four hours maybe.

Not known him. We met him
four hours ago, you know?

That's the trippy part is
because it felt like
we knew him.

Like, he had been
in my living room every day.

In my ears via his music
and his posters like...

I had known him, I thought.

And it, for some reason,
it didn't feel strange

to let, you know,
me, a seven-year-old,

and my sister,

a 10-year-old,

sleep in this man's bedroom.

Michael had an extra guest
bed that was above his bed.

It was basically like
a staircase that just kind of

took you up to this
other room in his room.

And so, he said
that we could stay

in his room in that guest unit,
if we wanted to.

And of course, we were like,
"Please, can we?" you know.

We went to his bedroom and sat
on his bed and talked to him.

And he had a train
running around the bed,

electric train
running the bedroom,

and he was just
like a child. Yes.

There was pillow fights.

I mean, just having a blast,
like, no rules.

You know, like, you can't
get in trouble, you know.

We were just kind of
all hanging out
in Michael's bed,

in the same bed,
like me, Wade, and Michael,

and just watching movies
and watching videos.

And then at some point,

we just knocked out,
all three of us on his bed.

Yeah, and that's as much as
I remember that first night.

The next morning, waking up
and looking at the lake,

and the flowers
were just amazing.

I mean, my mother said
her first thought was,

"Oh my God, I've died
and gone to Heaven."

It was just so beautiful.

Here we go, like,
a day of adventure, right.

You know, it was a lot of just
silliness, sort of like that

chase each other and,
you know, big water fights.

It seemed right away
like he was family.

It was like being
with a brother.

We kind of loaded up
in a couple of golf carts,

and him driving us
around and showing us
everything, right.

So this is
the first time of seeing,

um, the arcade.

We walk in and flip
a switch and boom,

the whole room
comes alive, right.

One of the most amazing things
that I could ever experience,

and have total access to,
to just go play whatever
I wanted to.

And how I excited

Michael was
to kind of watch me
and watch me react.

He was fascinated with Wade.

He said that, "It's like
looking at myself in a mirror.

I see myself
all over again."

So, that was something
to hear that,

that was pretty impressive.

And this little boy was
just living the dream.

He really was.

The theme park,
which wasn't as extensive

then as it became, but...

still a theme park
in someone's house, you know.

You know, seeing my mother,
kind of just, high and giddy

and playful and like children.

And then on
to the animals, right.

I mean, chimpanzees, giraffes,

elephant,

tiger.

You know, then it was bedtime,
and it was just kind of

unspoken, like it was
set up already as to how it,

you know,
how we slept last night.

At some point,
I had fallen asleep.

And I woke up.

I could hear, like, crying,
like, sulking and sobbing.

I could see a figure
over in the corner,

kind of scrunched up,
sort of sobbing.

It was kind of hard
to get words out.

'Cause we were supposed
to leave the next day,
the whole family.

"I'm just so sad that you
guys are gonna leave me.

"You know,
I don't wanna be alone.

I don't want you guys to leave."

I mean, I felt the same way.

I felt like I almost
had this kind of

burden and guilt to like,
if I leave,

like, what's gonna
happen to him?

Like, he was so upset,
you know?

Then, the next morning,

the plan was that we were
gonna go on this kind of trip

to the Grand Canyon and that
sort of thing with an RV.

I remember going
into Michael's room

to talk to him about it,

and he said to Wade,

"We can stay here.
We can go to Los Angeles.

We can go wherever you want,
do whatever you want."

And Wade wanted to stay
at Neverland.

I actually didn't have
a problem with it at the time.

I didn't actually
have a hesitation.

So then, that's when

I left with my mom
and everybody,

and we went to the Grand Canyon.

We had, like, a motor home,

and we went and camped
and did all that,

and then Wade
stayed with Michael.

I was ecstatic about this.

Michael was
ecstatic about this.

So, my whole family left, um...

and I had, you know,
five days ahead of me,

with just me and Michael,

doing whatever the hell
we wanted to do.

There were no cell phones,

or anything like that.

So, my parents had--
once they left,

they had no direct access
to me at all.

They were really far away,

in... many ways.

We went right
through the canyon.

First time I've ever seen snow.

That was exciting, too.

And, uh...

we thought that Michael was
teaching him all his dances.

That's-- We thought,
how lucky he was to have that,

somebody to take
their time and do it,

in his position,

to have somebody like that,

to teach him what to do.

I somewhat regretted it
as we were traveling.

I became a little anxious,
at times, about it.

And I remember calling once,
and I couldn't get through.

I remember being absolutely
hysterical on the phone

at one point because
I couldn't get through,

and I couldn't find him.

First day at Neverland was

Michael making
physical contact with me.

Like, his had on my thigh,

um, hugs, you know.

It felt great.

And, out of all
the kids in the world,

he chose me to be his friend.

And he's holding my hand.

Within the context
of what was going on,

it seemed normal, you know.

The days were filled with

playing tag, watching movies.

He taught me how to do
the moonwalk.

This contrast began
between the day and the night.

We were going to sleep
in his bed.

The first thing
I remember is, is...

Michael...

sort of, you know,
moving his hands

across my... legs.

We were both clothed in PJs.

And then his hands
sort of got to,

you know, my crotch area,

and he's
sort of fondling there.

And how old were you?

I was seven, seven years old
when this began.

Fondling my penis
over the top of my pants.

And then, his hands went
underneath my pants.

And, uh...

and started touching my penis
underneath my pants and...

Yeah, there was nothing
aggressive about it,

nothing abrasive.

I never felt scared or...

anything like that.

It just...

didn't seem that strange.

And then him guiding me
to do the same thing with him.

So, moving my hands, um,

to touch his penis.

uh, which, you know,

was erect.

Him talking to me,
"You and I were

"brought together by God.

"We were meant to be together.

"You know, and this is us

"showing each other
that we love each other.

This is how we show our love."

I mean, it escalated rapidly.

So, taking showers
together and,

you know, fondling and kissing.

So him kissing me,
I mean, like, full, open mouth,

tongue-in-mouth kissing.

He would put my fingers
on his nipples,

and, like, tell me
to squeeze them.

And he would moan and react
to that, like it felt good,

and I liked the feeling that

was making him happy,
that was pleasing him, you know.

And then Michael
pulling my pants

and my underwear down,
pulling them off...

and, uh,

and going down and starting to,

you know, perform oral sex...

on me.

And I remember him putting

my hands on his head

when he was down there.

I'll never forget the...

the, um,

the feeling of his hair.

It was rough, almost like a, um,

like a Brillo pad,
like this roughness.

And he's down there and...

you know, with his...

his mouth on my, you know,

seven-year-old penis.

You know, quickly it
turned into having me

perform oral sex on him, too.

I mean, to be honest,
and to be graphic about it,

like, you know, a full adult,
grown man-size penis...

in my mouth, you know,
in a little seven-year-old's
mouth...

He didn't ejaculate when he had
me perform oral sex on him,

but he used to--
he would masturbate
in front of me.

He would have me

kind of go to, like,
the corner of the bed,

like, a far corner of the bed,

so he'd be laying back
on a pillow,

and have me go to the far corner
of the bed and, um,

be on all fours,

and have me sort of just
bend over my knees, you know,

um, so he could look at my anus

while he was masturbating.

And I was just,
kind of, on display.

And then, um,
periodically through that,

he would kind of
come up and, um,

and stick his tongue
in-in my anus.

Right in front of me,
there was this big,

kind of elaborate,
Peter Pan cardboard cutout.

So, it's like I was either

looking back at him...
masturbating,

or looking forward
at, uh, at Peter Pan.

You know, and then we'd

get up in the morning

like nothing had ever happened,

and go have
another day filled with

childhood magical
games and adventures.

Yeah, when my parents came
back at the end of the week,

I definitely remember
a feeling of us and them.

You know, our relationship
had evolved in so many ways,

and he had done so much, um...

so much talking to me,

about not trusting people,

any people, especially women.

He started calling me "son."

And for me, the idea of

Michael Jackson being my dad

was the most incredible
idea in the world.

You know, I didn't have
anything against my dad,

that's for sure.

But Michael was just...
It was just too big.

That fantasy was just
too good to turn down.

And then the following week,

we were supposed to be going
to San Francisco,

and Wade didn't want to go,
he wanted to stay.

Michael was actually going back
to Los Angeles for the week.

Um, but he invited us
to go with him, so...

Wade and Chantal and I went
to LA with Michael,

and Dennis and my parents went
to San Francisco for the week.

He was living in Westwood
at the time.

He had a condo in Westwood,
which they called the Hideout.

Um, I remember walking
in there and there was

statues of Shirley Temple
and posters everywhere.

It was a really
interesting place,

childlike.

Shopping.

I think that's when
that really started.

We would go into, like,
the record stores,

and I remember, like,
Michael just filling up,
like, a whole cart,

like, full of records and CDs,

and we were allowed to put
whatever we wanted in there.

Every time we entered
a place, like,

"Look around and get
anything you want.

"Get everything," you know.

Normally, the experience was
you go into a toy store

and it's like,
you can get one thing, you know.

And now this was, like,
grab a cart and fill it up.

Me and Mom slept
in the living room.

Wade slept in the room
with Michael.

I don't remember
any sort of comment

about me staying with Michael
and sleeping in his room.

When we were in Los Angeles,

Chantal and I spent
quite a bit of time alone.

They, um,

We went to Westwood.
We'd walk down there
and do things.

Wade and Michael would
stay in the room a lot,

just play--
I presume playing games,

and they did a lot
of that sort of thing.

Watching cartoons,
he was a big cartoon-watcher.

Once the abuse started,

within that first week,
you know,

every night that I was
with him, there was abuse,

while my mother was,

you know, next door.

You know, he started talking
about how much he loves me.

"What this is, is us.

"How we show our love
for each other.

"Other people are ignorant,
and they're stupid,

and they'd never understand."

If they ever found out
what we were doing,

about the sexual stuff,

that he and I
would be pulled apart,

that we'd never be able
to see each other again.

And that he and I

would go to jail
for the rest of our lives.

You do feel sorry for him.

You honestly believe
that this is a lonely man,

and that we can help make
him happy.

Us...

Us, who are just nobodies.

We couldn't believe
that he would want
to hang around us

in this tiny little house.

And he'd walk
in the house and he'd walk
in the front door,

and he'd go...
"The Safechucks!"

Like he was at home,
you know, full armed-up acting.

"Ah, the Safechucks!"

That's how he felt about us.

You go from your
normal lifestyle,

day after day,
everything's the same, to...

this big star

calling your house,

wanting to come to your home
and have dinner in your home,

wanting to spend the night
in your little house.

He could be anywhere,
with anybody in the world,

and Michael wanted to be
with our family.

This was all so overwhelming

and like a fairy tale.

And I got lost in it,

and I know my husband
got lost in it, too.

You're just fully

in love at that time.

When I wasn't with him, I was
always thinking about him.

It just feels like the greatest
thing when he calls.

He'd come over,
we'd spend the day shopping

and hang out
or he'd spend the night.

Or I would go
to the Hideout in Westwood

and spend a few nights there.

So, we were like
this married couple.

And I say married
because we had

this mock wedding ceremony.

We did this in his bedroom,

and we... like,
filled out some vows.

It's like,
we're bonded forever.

It felt good,

and the ring is nice.

It has a row of diamonds

with a gold band...

the wedding ring.

It's hard to go back
to that... moment.

I was really into jewelry,

and he would reward me

with jewelry for doing
sexual acts for him.

He would say that
I need to sell him some

so that I could
earn the gift.

You know, I like jewelry,
and I liked it as a kid,

and I think that...

something that I enjoyed
was used against me,

so I think that that...

causes discomfort. I...

It's still hard

for me to...

not blame myself.

This piece of jewelry is
like a Rolex...

ring with a diamond
in the middle.

My hands are shaking
just holding them.

We would go buy them...

at jewelry stores.

And we would pretend
like they were for
somebody else and...

like for a female, but...

we would pretend
like my small hand fit

whatever female we were
buying it for. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't-I don't
like looking at the jewelry.

You know, I left Australia
as this young fan

of Michael Jackson.

And came back

Michael Jackson's best friend.

- And his lover.
- Yeah.

And his lover.

Trying to adjust back
to reality was hard.

I was back in school.

The thing that
I think made it okay...

was that the contact
with Michael

was constant.

We used to spend

hours and hours
and hours on the phone.

He called every day,
for two years.

Every blue moon,
I would talk to Michael.

Like, if he called, I'd get
on the phone and I'd say,

"Hi, how are you?"
Blah, blah, blah.

We'd talk for a couple seconds,
but it's not like I...

you know, I didn't stay
on the phone with Michael
for hours

or have big conversations,
my brother did that.

It was sort of,
he would call to talk to Wade.

He would talk to Wade
for sometimes

six, seven hours at a time,
and I would say,

"What on Earth do you talk
about for all that time?"

I would try to listen,

but they seemed to be
very innocent phone calls.

He told me
that I was gonna be

this massive film director,

you know,
bigger than Spielberg.

He was telling me to keep
working on my dancing,

keep training.

You know, you're gonna
come back out here soon,

and, you know,
you gotta be ready

for us to change the world.

If I was at school,
it was hard to focus
on the work

'cause it was like,
when I got off of school,
when I got home,

I was gonna get on the phone
with Michael Jackson.

He used to call me Apple Head.

Um, I would call him
Apple Head sometimes.

And then he started
calling me Little One.

I don't know
where it came from,
but that became my...

my name from him, Little One.

It came with a song
that he would sing to me,

like this kind of lullaby.

And then he would sing,

Yep.

I mean, it just felt, um...

really, uh, cozy.

It felt really endearing.

And at some point,
we got a fax machine,

so we could communicate more.

If I'm not mistaken,
I think he bought it.

So, we were still having these
really long conversations,

but then now, there would be
these constant faxes,

back and forth,
you know, I love you, Wade.

I love you, Little One.

My best friend forever and...

all kinds of stuff like that,
and I would send stuff back,

telling him how much
I loved him.

We'd get home,
and the whole living room

would be filled faxes, like,
all over the floor, everywhere.

I felt like he and I
had a relationship

outside of his
relationship with Wade.

I felt like we had
something quite separate.

I guess like a brother
or a really close friend.

He'd get really lonely,
and we'd talk about that.

Michael, he used to ring her
all the time.

He was forever ever ringing her
and talking to her.

She turned her life upside down
because of Michael.

This separate relationship

with Mom began.

I don't remember him
ever explicitly saying,

"Say hi to Dennis."
It would be like--

That's my Dad's name.

It would be either
the siblings or

"Say hi to the family,"
you know.

He sent me back
with some memorabilia,

like clothing of his
that I could wear.

He gave me the hat,

the white fedora hat
that he wore in

the "Smooth Criminal"
music video.

I was just looking
at this, and he said,
"Do you want it?"

And I said, "If you wanna give
it to me," and I said "Sure."

And, um,

He-- This is
the actual hat he used
in the "Smooth Criminal" clip,

and it's still got
his makeup on it.

- See?
- On the top here, yeah.

Just put it on, let's see how
you look in it. Let's see how...

Hey. Hey, that's pretty cool.

That's pretty cool.

And he gave me the gloves

that he wore
in the "Bad" music video,
sort of buckled gloves.

So, I used to wear those
now when I'd perform.

My whole life
was focused on him

and leading towards him.

This kind of fantasy
began for me that...

that like, pretty soon, I was
gonna end up living with him.

You know, that I would
kind of be with him,

like a father and son,
for the rest of my life.

Basically, we were in limbo
waiting to come back.

And it took quite some
time before he actually

got around to bringing
us back again.

He was doing a photo shoot,

a campaign for
his new shoes for LA Gear.

And he saw that
as a great opportunity

to bring me out and to put me
in the campaign.

So, my mother removed me
out of school.

It turned into a six-week trip.

Our flights and everything
were paid for.

Los Angeles was
Michael Jackson for me.

And just being
so excited to be back in

what felt like, already, home,

like, where I'm supposed to be,
here and with him.

Also, anticipating

the physical contact again.

The sexual contact,

because that had become so...

intertwined with
what our relationship was

and what our love was.

I have some really, really
happy memories from Neverland.

We'd drive in,

and forget about everything
that was going on in your life,

forget about all your problems.

You were in Neverland.

It was a fantasy.

He and Wade would avoid me.

I could tell
they were avoiding me.

You know, and it's a big place.
It's 2,700 acres,

and they'd take off
for the day,

and I'd spend all day looking
for them. Couldn't find them.

So, I spent a lot of time alone
there, playing with the chimps.

We became good friends.

We were back and forth
throughout the trip

between Neverland
and the Hideout in Westwood.

But, you know, my mother being
in a different room,

and Michael and I
sleeping in his bed.

The sexual contact continued

every night we were together.

I guess it sort of
became a routine,

masturbating, the oral sex,
both sides,

and the touching,
and the fondling,

and the gyrating,
and the kissing.

Me bending over
with the masturbation,

and the tongue and all that.

And then one of the kind of
newer things that started
to happen

was he started to show me
some pornography.

Pretty graphic,
heterosexual porn, um,

you know, oral sex,

full penetration,

uh, anal stuff.

It seemed like he liked it,
that Michael liked it,

so I wanted to like it.

It was the first time
he showed me some video porn.

And this was, you know,
full oral sex,

and ejaculation

in the mouth, on the face,
all that stuff. Full graphic.

I remember that
affecting me internally

even more than
the photographic porn.

I remember that feeling
in my stomach being
really heavy,

like a nervousness.

I just didn't really know
how to deal with it, you know?

So, it was...

again, like, him pulling
back the curtain

on this whole other universe,

but this one wasn't
so fun, you know?

I was seven, you know?

He just came across
as a loving, caring, kind soul.

So...

it was easy to believe
that he was just that.

It was coming to...
time for us to leave,

to go back to Australia,

and I was at the Hideout

with Michael in Westwood.

And Michael said to me,

"Will you leave Little One

with me for a year?"

I was on board with this.

I wanted to.
Are you kidding me?

Like, be able to live
with him for a year?

That's like the most
incredible idea I'd ever heard.

I was stunned, and said,

"Absolutely not."

He said, you know, "I would
do wonders for his career.

"I could work with him.

"We could do so much together.
It would be absolutely wonderful

for him to stay here with me."

I said,
"Michael, he's my child.
He's seven years old.

I am not gonna
leave him with you."

And a sort of, like...

a tug of war started
between Mom and Michael.

We went through this
for a couple of hours,

where I tried to explain to him
that it wasn't going to happen.

And after it was all over,
he looked at me and he said,

"I always get what I want."

And I said, "Not this time."

I said,
"I will share Wade with you,

but I am not going
to leave him with you."

Michael asked...

like, "Well, okay,
then you've gotta let me...

"have him for, you know,

"four or five more days,
a few more days,

"to prepare him to leave."

I remember at some point
getting a phone call and, uh...

Mom saying, "Oh, we're gonna
stay longer." You know?

And I was like,
what the hell is going on?

You know, pretty...

kind of disturbing when
your mom and brother just,

you don't know when
they're gonna come back.

He really amped up...

the dialogue
and the lectures about...

being strong and being...

learning to shelve my feelings.

He always said that. "You gotta
learn to shelve your feelings,

so you're not vulnerable."

In hindsight, I know, I mean,
just how much of my life,

in every way shape or form,
that affected, you know?

Hello, Wade.

Congratulations, Little One.

Today is your birthday.

I don't celebrate
birthdays, of course,

but I thought I would take this
moment to say congratulations

on the day that you were born,

and in my opinion,
you should spend this day

with your mother and your
father, who conceived you,

and you should be giving
them the presents,

uh, and being thankful that
they brought you into the world.

And the future is yours and
you can do whatever you want.

So, congratulations.

I love you. Goodbye.

Things started to...

change with my father.

My consciousness was just

so full with Michael
that there was

less and less of my attention
and consciousness for my dad.

He enjoyed what Wade
was doing. He loved it.

And I think he would've liked
to have been more of a part
of it, too,

but I think I sort of
pushed him out.

Wade was doing
a lot in Australia,

and I was more or less
managing

what he was doing there,
and I enjoyed that.

And it just took us
into a different world,

and Dennis was sort
of excluded from it.

So, it did affect the marriage.

Dennis was always there
in the background,

and he went to it
as much as he could,

but being in business, it was
hard for him always to be away.

She put Wade first,

taking him to places
where he danced.

It was a big thing for her.

My mother
and his relationship

was changing.

Over the next year or so,

he started having
all sorts of, um...

I don't know, emotional trouble

and anxieties.

And he was diagnosed
with bipolar disorder.

I have memories of my dad
fighting with my mom,

and I remember my dad
at one point saying,

you know,
"You're talking to lawyers,

and you're trying to get out
of here. I know you are."

Wade J. Robson!

Wade had been working

pretty regularly in Australia,

but there was only just
so far he could go there.

He could be the big fish
in the small pond,

but I felt if he was
really going to succeed,

he needed to move
to the United States.

So, this was happening

at the same time that

my father's, kind of,
mental and emotional health

was really declining.

His mood being
more unpredictable.

It's like he was
just like drifting

further and further
away from me.

It kind of became like
the Wade and Mom Show.

That's when I really noticed
Dad starting to go downhill,

you know, with his mental state.

She definitely was not
the mom that I grew up
with at that point.

She was very determined
to go on this, this new life.

It wasn't so much about
the family anymore.

You know, it was about...

getting over there, starting
this new opportunity for...

for Wade, which, you know,

in reality was opportunity
for Mom as well.

And when I kind of look
at things in perspective,

it was probably Mom's chance,

the easiest way for her to,
maybe, get out of her marriage.

And I had a diary that had a...

just a quote for every day.

And it said something like,
"Today is the first day

of the rest of your life,"
something like that.

And suddenly I thought, you
know what, I'm just gonna go.

I'm not gonna wait any longer.

Michael, he encouraged
her to go over there.

Yes, it was his decision.

He made the arrangements
for where they could stay

when they got there.
He did all that.

And, uh...

Yes, he was to blame.

He's to blame
for a lot of things

that happened in our life.

I had a choice,

but it was sort of obvious
that I was going with my mom.

And I remember
my dad just saying,
"Please don't leave," to me.

And...

he said, "Please don't go.
Stay with me."

And I remember saying,
"Dad, just don't ask me that."

Like, "Dad, don't...
don't make me choose."

Like, that it was just obvious

that I was going
with Mom, you know?

Beyond whatever was going
on with him mentally,

almost his whole family
was about to leave him.

I'm sure, for my father,

it felt like, you know,
there's no way...

we're ever coming back.

I used to have dreams or
nightmares of my family dying.

And I remember
going to Brisbane Airport.

I remember my...
my grandmother, my Mom's mom,

like, standing at the window.

She was just, like,
moaning and crying.

I remember being at
the airport with Dennis.

It was so sad to see them
all going on the plane,

knowing that they--
we wouldn't just be able to...

pick up our bag,
and go and visit them.

No. Yeah, it was sad.

Dad was just...

I think he was crying,
but he was just--

he wasn't really there.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was a tough day.

You know, they were excited.
They were going off on...

on a big adventure, so...

Yeah, I guess that
was really, like,

the end of the family. Yeah.

Sorry.

I left my eldest son Shane,

my husband, my parents,

two brothers, cousins,

big family.

And, funny, at the time,

I really did not think

about any of
the long-term ramifications.

I was so caught up
in everything.

I remember my father looking me
in the eye at the airport,

and he said,
"Have you lost your mind?"

And that has stayed
with me for 26 years,

'cause there's many times
I look back and think,

yes, I think I had.

You know, I definitely
had some sort of...

idea in my head of

the way...
this was all gonna go down

once we moved to Los Angeles,

that it really was going
to be life with Michael.

So, I remember being shocked

when the first place
we went to live

was like in Oakwood Apartments,

which is kind of like
a part-time residence
sort of thing.

And it was...

at least a week,
maybe a couple of weeks,

after we moved
before I saw Michael.

And that was
really hard for me.

Here I was, in this new place,
in America, and in Los Angeles,

but now it's like
we were alone.

I knew straightaway
that things were different.

First up, when we got there,
they said that the Oakwood
had not been paid for.

I needed to give them
a credit card.

And I'm like, "No."

They said, "Well, you have
to give me a credit card

till we can sort
it out tonight."

And that was unusual for them.

They usually had us
pretty well looked after.

Michael had talked
about bringing him

to do the "Black or White"
video.

And then they called and said,
"We're going to rent you a car,

so that you can drive
yourself to the studios,"

which was unusual as well.

Um... And then, when we got
to the studios to do this,

then we realized why.

I believe the first time

we saw each other
after we moved

was his "Black or White"
music video,

which I was gonna dance in.

That experience was
really hard for me.

Turn that noise off!

This was the first time

I came up against
the new friend,

Macaulay Culkin.

Macaulay was where I was,

you know, on my previous trips.

Right by Michael's side,
every moment.

Okay.

And now, I was kind of on
the sideline, as far as...

being Michael's friend,

you know,
and being his favorite,

and that was really confusing.

What did I do wrong?

Like, he and Michael
had all of the connection

and kind of secret things that

Michael and I had before.

Like, I could recognize that.

So, there was definitely
a lot of, there was jealousy

from me. I mean,
hurt, confusion.

It was very obvious to me

that Macaulay had taken
Wade's place in Michael's

"best friend" category.

So, that was very hurtful,
it broke Wade's heart.

But it made me realize that
if things were gonna happen,

we have to get busy
and do it ourselves.

By then, I wasn't really
hanging around him much.

It was more like he would
call every few months.

At Neverland, we were able
to go up whenever we wanted.

And then we'd be able to go up,

and they'd have all the cooks
and everybody there.

So, it was like our
sort of vacation home.

Thank you!
Cool!

Brian!
Thanks.

- Happy birthday!
- Thanks.

And at the same time,
he started introducing alcohol.

Michael also had
a place in Century City,

near the Avenue of the Stars.

So, you'd go over
for the weekend,

and he'd buy
a big jug of wine,

and I remember
getting really drunk.

I was falling over.

And he would put porn on,
like, in the bathtub.

He had these little TVs,
and you could watch...

you could watch porn
wherever you wanted.

Porn and candy, that was...

That's what he had.

It got more dirty sexual,

rather than, like,
friends who were,

like, touching each other.

That was probably
because I was getting

to be a teenager.

Like, he wanted to do
some anal.

He put his finger...

inside me, and I didn't
like it at all.

Um...

So, he kind of
backed off on that.

I think I was just like,
kind of wincing and...

I was asking him not to do it,

but he did it, and he said,
"Oh, you'll like it."

But we continued
with all the other stuff.

He was preparing me

over a long period of time
for other kids to enter.

He would say like,
"You're gonna start seeing me

"with so and so, and...

that doesn't mean
I don't love you."

We went up for the weekend,

and Michael showed up
with another family

and a young boy.

It reminded me of us.

My husband and I
came in and said hi,

and they were zipped-mouthed,

just like we were.

I could tell they had been--
had the talks we had.

"You don't talk to strangers.

Everybody wants to be your
friend just to get to me."

So, the people were
very standoffish,

and I thought,
we're in Michael's home!

Jeez, they could be
a little friendly.

There's one particular boy

who sort of entered
and replaced me.

And so, I saw him grow closer
and closer to that boy,

and I was...
pushed out more and more.

And that was really
difficult to handle.

There was like a lot
of jealousy and hurt.

You're no longer...

special.

One specific night
that was really tough,

and it was at
Avenue of the Stars.

You know, spending the night
there and the boy was there.

The boy would sleep
in Michael's room,

and then I would sleep
downstairs on the sofa.

It was like being cast out.

And it was...

It was like a realization
that, like, okay, it's...

I'm not number one.

And I just wanted to go home.

And so I cried and cried,

and I cried out for my mom,

and I just cried myself
to sleep. So, it was like...

the first night it really hit.

Michael was my, like, partner,
and then he's gone?

And then, you're not close
to anybody else,

so it's like then,
you're just alone.

And you can't talk
to anybody about anything,

so you just continue
to be alone.

I would say, like, in that
first year of living in LA,

that I saw him maybe
four to six times,

either at his
Century City apartment

or back at Neverland.

The sexual stuff would
happen every night.

So, every time that it
was just he and I again,

and the sexual stuff
would happen again,

like, it made me feel
a little better.

It made me feel like

that things were okay again,
and things were back to normal,

and that feeling didn't
stay for long

'cause I would keep coming
up against scenarios

where there was another boy.

- We love Michael!
- We love Michael!

They've been waiting for
three days to see their hero,

and when the moment came,
it was the type of

bizarre appearance
you'd expect from a man
they call Wacko Jacko.

The pop-star seemed
to be playing hide-and-seek.

Joined by his
traveling companion
and nine-year-old cousin,

he began throwing items
to his admirers below.

Great joy from
the 33-year-old
multimillionaire

as youngsters below scrapped
for presents from their god.

During that Dangerous tour,
when Michael took

Brett Barnes
on the tour with him...

...Wade had asked
to go on the tour,

and Michael had told
him no, he couldn't go

because he wasn't allowed
to take children on this tour.

And then he saw Brett Barnes
with him on television.

I don't think
he liked to mix us.

I mean, he liked to keep
these relationships separate.

Remember it being particularly
hard with Brett because...

I found out, and I knew,
that he was Australian.

"Oh, it's a new Australian boy,"

I was, like, really
feeling replaced.

Please remain
seated at all times.

Michael had told him
that he would call him.

And he-- that little boy
would come home every day

and sit on the couch,
and wait for that phone call.

It just didn't come,
he wasn't calling.

And it just broke
my heart to see

him waiting for that call.

All of the dreams

and plans that Michael was

selling me and my mother from...

you know, day one
of that first trip.

This partnership
we were gonna have

didn't seem to be,
like, something that
was gonna really happen.

After a while,
I realized there was a pattern.

Every 12 months,
there was a new boy in his life.