Original subtitles

[music playing]

THEME SONG: Here we go again, on the road till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So one, two, three, now, baby, here we go.

Here we go, here we go, on a mission undercover and we're

in control.

Here we go, here we go.

"Totally Spies," get on with the show.

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

[computer chirps]

[running footsteps]

[screech from offscreen]

-Can anyone hear me?

[radio squawks]

-This is Wade Ridgley.

I'm a reporter.

My crew and I have been attacked.

We-- oh no.

[trees creaking]

[chittering screech]

-Please, anyone!

There's something in the forest!

It's all around!

Aaauuuughhhh!

Aaaaghhhh!

Aaaagghhhhh!

-Aaaahhhhhh!

Noooooooo!

[gasp]

[computer chirps]

-Nice landing, David.

-Wow, David.

That was pretty brave, risking your life on such a realistic

fake mountain.

-Yeah, we'll see how I do in the real thing this weekend.

It's gonna be way more extreme.

-Hel-loooo.

Drool much?

-So you're going climbing this weekend, huh?

Can I tag along?

-Uh, I don't think so.

It's gonna be pretty rough.

-Not if you're there to protect me.

-No offense, but I think you're a little high

maintenance for the type of extreme sports I'm into.

-Ouch.

That's gonna leave a mark.

-High maintenance?

Excuse me!

Have you ever been bargain hunting?

As far as sports go, it's totally extreme.

-Sorry, Clover.

See you later, girls.

-Grrr.

Well, would I make a difference if I told you I was

an international sp--

-Clover!

-I can't believe you were going to tell him who you

really are.

-Oh, who cares?

What fun is it being a spy if we can't tell anyone?

Where's the payoff?

We should at least get, like, free facials or something.

-The payoff is keeping the world safe, Clover.

And you know telling David could put

him in serious danger.

-I know.

I just want a hottie to call my own.

If there was only some way.

Huh?

Stop everything.

Idea forming!

-Clover, you don't know the first

thing about rock climbing.

-Puh-lease.

I was like the queen of my step aerobics class.

How do I look?

-Like you're about to be shot out of a cannon.

-Chances are we won't even get to the rock climbing.

David will take one look at me in this outfit and say--

[girls gasp]

[girls scream]

-Is no place safe from a WOOHP tunnel these days?

[girls scream]

[thud]

-Sorry to pull you away from your shopping, girls, but I'm

afraid it's a matter of great--

oh, Clover.

What on Earth are you wearing?

You look like a pink crash test dummy.

-It's--

oh, forget it.

Let's just get to the mission.

-Right.

Two days ago, a Canadian news team disappeared while

investigating a remote mountain region in Western

Canada near Saskatchewan.

-Sa-scratch-a-what?

-Saskatchewan.

It's a place.

Like the mall?

-[giggles]

-Yes.

Over the last year, 25 local farmers and loggers have

vanished from these mountains.

The reporters were there looking for answers.

-Any clues?

-Only this distress call we picked up on a WOOHP satellite

from one of the reporters, Wade Ridgley.

WADE RIDGLEY (ON RECORDING): Please, anyone!

There's something in the forest.

It's all around!

Auuuuugghhhhh!

-OK, scary.

-Yes.

Something in those mountains could pose a

threat to world safety.

WOOHP wants you spies to go undercover as campers to find

out what it is.

-Campers?

Like in pitching tents and stalking our own kill?

Can't you put us up in a nice resort nearby?

-Hm.

Let me think about that.

No.

Now let's get a look at your gadgets.

Mostly standard issue.

There's your Heat Sensor 6000 Infrared Motion Detector

Sunglasses, jetpack backpack, parachutes, and something new

I think you girls will enjoy.

Boomerang Buzzsaw Barrettes.

They come in three styles-- panda,

furry kitty, and unicorn.

Remember, this is a dangerous mission, girls.

Be careful.

-Don't worry, Jer.

We can totally handle the wilderness.

It's all about teamwork.

GIRLS (IN UNISON): I call the panda!

-Gimme that!

-No, no!

I want that one!

[girls yell and argue]

[computer chirps]

[hiss]

[handheld beeps]

-According to the coordinates Jerry gave us, we're right

around where the reporters disappeared.

I say we set up camp here and start looking for clues.

-Sounds like a plan.

Where' Clover?

(CALLING) Clover?

-OK, I don't know who designed this forest,

but it needs an escalator.

And could the woods be any dirtier?

-Don't worry, Clover.

We brought plenty of water to wash up.

Right, Alex?

-I--

I thought you brought the water.

-Me?

No.

I'm the guide.

The guide never brings the water.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Who came up with that

rule, the camping fairy?

Well, why couldn't Clover bring it?

She brought everything else.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): And more.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): OK, stop.

We'll find water tomorrow.

It's no big deal.

Let's just set up camp and get a fire going

before it gets cold.

Who's got the matches?

(SHIVERING) Anyone got two stones?

We could bang them together and the sparks'd make fire.

-I've got a pair of clogs.

-Hey, I found some packages of hot chocolate.

-(SOBBING) I want to go home!

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Well, we can't.

We've got a mission.

Look at it this way, Clover.

What better way to prove to David you're not high

maintenance than by surviving out here?

-Oh, you're right!

This is total proof.

-What are you doing?

-I'm gonna call him.

-Hello?

-David, hi, it's Clover.

I just called to tell you I'm totally

camping in the mountains.

And freezing to death, I might add.

Pretty extreme, huh?

-Uh, Clover?

I'm a little busy, and I don't want to cramp up.

-I knew you'd think so.

So what do you say?

Can I come along on your climb this weekend

if I'm still alive?

-Sure.

Whatever.

Aaahhhh!

-Score!

You know, I think this whole outdoor thing is starting to

grow on me.

Uh, where's the nearest plug?

[hissing screech]

-What was that?

-Get your sunglasses.

[infrared glasses beeping]

-Maybe it was the wind?

-Um, that doesn't sound like the wind.

-According to the glasses, there's nothing out there.

[hissing screech]

[girls scream]

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): What is that?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Everyone just stay calm.

Maybe it'll go away.

[hissing screech]

[girls scream]

-We gotta get out of this tent!

Clover, Alex, grab on to me!

[girls scream]

[owl hoots]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): What could have done this?

-Maybe we trespassed on the home of a

grumpy bunch of squirrels.

-Or maybe the clean mountain air is tweaking your brain.

What the--

hey, I think I found something.

-Weren't those missing reporters with WQTV?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): They must have crashed trying to get

away from something.

Maybe the same something that attacked us.

MALE SPEAKER (ON VIDEO): Get us out of here!

PILOT (ON VIDEO): There's something holding us down.

It's all around us!

-Viewfinder's smashed.

I might know a way around it, though.

Let's get somewhere safe.

All right, I've routed the camera's playback into my

com-powder.

Keep your fingers crossed.

REPORTER (ON VIDEO): Get us out of here!

PILOT (ON VIDEO): There's something holding us down.

It's all around us!

WADE RIDGLEY (ON RECORDING): Can anyone hear me?

This is Wade Ridgley.

-That's the reporter Jerry was talking about.

-Newsflash!

Hottie.

Recognize the path he's on?

It's right in front of us.

-Check it out.

Footprints.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Huh.

No other tracks leading away.

The only other place he could have gone would be--

[foliage rustling]

[gasp]

-What is that?

-I think it's a pinata.

-It's a cocoon.

-Don't poke it.

What if some face-hugging thingy leaps out and eats your

brain?

-I'm just gonna knock it down so we can get a closer look.

GIRLS: Ew!

-So that's what's going on in this forest.

Someone's growing men in pods.

Hm.

Not a bad idea, really.

-Wait!

It's Wade Ridgley.

-Oh!

What happened?

Where am I?

-You and your crew were attacked.

You're safe now.

Who did this to you?

WADE RIDGLEY (OFFSCREEN): I don't know.

But they were everywhere.

And there was this sound.

-Clover, help me get him up.

[rustling]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Aaahh!

-Huh?

Wait, did you hear something?

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Mmm, mmm!

-Where's Alex?

(CALLING) Alex!

[screech]

-That's the sound!

That's the sound it makes when it comes for you!

-When what comes?

[hissing]

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Oh my gosh, look!

-It's the forest.

It's alive!

[hissing and screeching]

-We've got to get out of here.

-No, Alex!

We have to find-- aaahhh!

I can't believe we left Alex!

-We'll find her, Clover.

Don't worry.

-There's something up ahead.

-Um, maybe I've seen too many horror movies, but an

abandoned farmhouse is usually a bad thing.

[screech]

-I don't think we have a choice.

-Unh!

You girls have a radio or something so we

could call for help?

-Sam, how is the mission?

-Jerry!

We're in trouble.

It's the forest that's been abducting people.

You've got to get us out of here.

-Yes, yes, of course.

I'll send a jet immediately.

It may take some time.

[girls scream]

-We don't have time!

Hurry!

WADE RIDGLEY (OFFSCREEN): Seal the windows.

We can't let them in!

-Bedtime reading.

Sorry, but my stylist Herbert gets jealous when anybody else

touches my hair.

Aaahh!

Oh!

Oh no!

Help!

-Hey, they're afraid of fire.

I think we can beat them.

Or maybe not.

-What now?

WADE RIDGLEY (ON RECORDING): Basement!

-What is all this?

-WOW, how cute.

It's a little Christmas tree.

I wonder why it's behind glass.

[hiss]

-Aaaaghhh!

-That sound.

It's coming from the trees.

-Yes.

-Wha?

-They're communicating with each other.

If I'm not mistaken, they're hungry.

Welcome to my living forest.

My name is Professor Rasputin Zero.

-Zero?

The conservationist?

Hey, when we were investigating the

disappearances, we came across that name.

You were fighting to preserve this forest.

-I still am.

-By turning it into bloodthirsty Christmas trees?

What's up with that, Scrooge?

-I merely gave the trees the ability to fight back with a

bit of genetic engineering.

The farmers and loggers of this region have been

destroying the forest for years, and I thought it was

time for a little payback.

A little human snack to enjoy.

-So that's why Wade was in that cocoon.

The trees were feeding off him.

-Yes.

The human life force gives the forest its strength and

intelligence.

-Listen, Freak Show, thanks for the trip down Psycho

Gardener Lane, but your trees made a mistake when they

grabbed our friend.

We went Alex and the others back.

-[chuckles]

I don't think so.

[hissing]

[all shouting]

-They're cocooning us!

RASPUTIN ZERO (OFFSCREEN): I hope you're comfortable.

It takes several days to be digested.

You'll forgive me for not staying to watch, but I have a

forest to attend to.

-It's useless!

The roots are too strong!

-Great!

Supposed to have a date with David, but instead I'm gonna

be turned into fertilizer?

WADE RIDGLEY (ON RECORDING): If there was only some way we

could crack these pods open.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Clover!

Your boomerang Buzzsaw barrette.

If you could throw it with your free hand, it might knock

a cocoon down.

[BARRETTE WHISTLES THROUGH AIR]

[BARRETTE WHISTLES THROUGH AIR]

-Maybe I'll make that date after all.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Hel-loooo!

Will you forget about your date and get us down?

RASPUTIN ZERO (OFFSCREEN): I've done it.

No one can harm my forest now.

Mmm.

[hissing screech]

RASPUTIN ZERO (OFFSCREEN): Something's wrong!

I altered the forest to protect itself, not to attack

innocent people.

Mm?

You can't do this!

I created you!

Aaaghh!

Nooooooooo!

-The fire's working.

RASPUTIN ZERO (OFFSCREEN): Aauughhh!

Hellllp!

Let go!

Someone!

Can anyone hear me?

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Oh, we can hear you.

Doesn't mean we're going to help you.

RASPUTIN ZERO (OFFSCREEN): Please!

These roots are very tight.

I chafe easily.

-Where's our friend?

-I'm not exactly--

-Now, Pod Boy!

-There's a tree in the middle of the forest.

The queen.

It controls all the others.

You'll find your friend there.

[screech]

-Go!

Find your friend.

I'll get Zero down and try to keep these roots back.

-Wade, that is so heroic.

You know, if we make it through all this, maybe you

and I could--

-Come on!

Are you sure we're going to the right way?

-According to these coordinates, we're headed

straight for--

[gasp]

-Sam?

What is--

[gasp]

Oh my gosh!

-That is one buff tree.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Yeah, and Alex is in one of those pods!

[chittering]

[hissing screech]

[girls scream]

[screech]

-Clover, what are you doing?

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Just keep the queen's attention!

OK, maintain.

If lumberjacks can do

this, so can I. [hissing]

-Uh, uh, hey, you!

You-- you think you're tough?

I've seen ferns that look more dangerous, heh.

-All right, Queenie.

Time for a little pruning.

[screech]

-Oh no.

Not good!

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): [scream]

-[gasp]

-I know that perfume.

It's gasoline!

Aaaaghh!

Whooooaaa!

Nice catch!

Sam, we need to get out of here.

There's gasoline all over!

[scream]

-The queen's too strong, Clover!

I don't think we're gonna make it.

-Remember what you said about getting fire from a spark?

Let's show the queen how spies accessorize.

[BARRETTES WHISTLE THROUGH AIR]

[ching!]

[boom]

[hissing]

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Alex, you're all right!

Do you remember anything?

-No.

But I do have a bizarre urge to be watered.

[com-powder beeps]

JERRY (ON COM): Oh, there you are, girls.

You'll be happy to know WOOHP agents will

be there any moment.

They've already have apprehended Professor Zero.

-What about Wade?

-He's fine.

One his way home safely to his wife and children.

-Wife and--

aww.

Oh, well.

[giggling]

JERRY (ON COM): So how did you spies enjoy

your time in the wild?

I hope it wasn't too rough.

-Well, we were nearly thrown from a cliff, crushed by a

helicopter, and digested by killer trees.

Piece of cake, Jer.

-Oh, excellent.

Because it looks like the WOOHP jets are going to be

pretty full getting the missing people to safety.

You spies are going to have to hike down on your own.

-I wonder if they got that escalator built yet.

[computer chirps]

[school bell rings]

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Where is David?

He's going to freak when he finds out I can make our

climbing date.

-You're not still thinking about telling him, you know,

who we are?

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): No need.

After the way I handled the tree queen, I've totally

proved I'm as extreme as he is.

[gasp]

There he is.

Wish me luck.

[giggling]

David, I am so sorry about what happened on the phone,

but if it's not to late, I--

what happened?

-Street luge accident.

It was awful.

MANDY (OFFSCREEN): Here's your breakfast, David.

I blended up your favorites--

eggs, sausage, and grits.

-Mandy's just been the greatest.

Like my own personal nurse.

She's exactly what I need right now,

somebody calm and gentle.

Not extreme at all.

-Wh-wwha?

-Come on, David.

Let's get you to class.

And later, after aquatherapy, I'll give you a nice rubdown.

[thunderclap]

-[snarl]

-Sorry, Clover.

Looks like David found an extreme sport

even you can't handle--

Mandy.

SAM AND ALEX: Ewww.

[laughter]