Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Here we go, we're getting on the road till we

stop, and then we'll shop.

So 1, 2, 3 now, baby, here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

On a mission, undercover and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're "Totally Spies" so get on with show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

-Ugh!

Agh!

[school bell ringing]

[student commotion]

-I'm going to get this role.

I'm going to get this role.

Going to get this role!

I'm gonna get this role.

-You really shouldn't put so much pressure

on yourself, Clover.

-I'm not putting pressure on myself.

I'm psyching myself up.

-And I'm just looking out for my best friend.

-Yeah, practically everybody in the school's auditioning.

-Everybody who's anybody, plus a few nobodies.

[grunt]

-What are you trying to say, Sam?

I'm not good enough to play the poor orphan, Cosette?

-Of course you are.

In fact, you're the most dramatic person I know.

But you learning all those lines?

-What?

Starring in a play is about more than just memorizing

lines, Sam.

I mean, I wouldn't expect a bookworm like you to

understand art.

That's for true virtuosos like Picasso, da Vinci, Madonna,

and, of course, me.

-(SHOUTING) Next, please.

-Oh, Monsieur Valjean, what ill fortune to be

poor, with no family.

Oh, I even had to, uh, sell my car just to be able to get

enough to eat.

-Thank you.

That'll be all Clover.

-Thank you.

Thank you, one and all.

I'm so happy to be playing the role that I so richly deserve.

I'll be signing autographs in the lunchroom this afternoon.

-Uh, Clover, although that was an interesting interpretation

of "Les Mis," it's not exactly what we're looking for.

Next.

[gasp]

[crying]

--Clover, aren't you getting a little carried away?

It's just a silly play.

-A silly play?

This is my career we're talking about.

I mean, how could he not pick me?

I have perfect hair, perfect teeth, plus I just love Paris.

I'd like to see Mr. Tetley's teaching credentials.

-You know, Clover, you should be happy you

didn't get this part.

I mean, rehearsing over and over--

oh, Monsieur Valjean, what ill fortune to be

poor with no family--

sounds like such a drag.

-That's it!

That was brilliant, Samantha!

You were born to play Cosette.

And I won't take no for an answer.

[grunts]

-Uh, thanks, a lot, Mr. Tetley, but Clover should

really get this part.

You know, she's a very talented actress, plus, she

has great teeth.

See!

-But Samantha, you've got the makings of a star.

-No, really, Clover's my girlfriend.

And I--

-Perhaps even a Hollywood star.

-When do rehearsals start?

-When do rehearsals start?

I can't believe you.

You little traitor!

-It's not my fault I'm star material.

[grunts]

-Cut it out, you guys, you're supposed to be friends.

-Since you girls are in such a talkative mood, perhaps one of

you would like to tell the class what do you think the

most dramatic scene in "Les Miserables" is.

-Well, I, for one, think it's the scene in which Jean

Valjean escapes through the Paris sewers.

Greetings, my academic colleagues.

-Aw, you must be Percival, the Chewbaccastan

Ambassador's son.

-Indubitably.

Oh, by the way, sir, I always felt it would be appropriate

to discuss "Les Miserables" in the context of the major

strain in 19th century literature emphasizing

pauperization.

-Hm, an interesting theory, Percival.

You should do just fine on tomorrow's quiz.

-Quiz?

What quiz?

-The quiz on the first 10 chapters of "Les Mis." That

is, for those of you who didn't get a role in the play.

[grunts]

-So, do you girls want to go to the mall tonight?

-I would, but now I have a quiz to study before.

You know, ever since somebody stole my part in the play.

-How about you, Sam?

Hm?

-I have to go over my lines.

You know what they say, the more

practice, the more perfect.

-[sigh]

I guess I'll go it alone then.

Agh!

[screams]

-[gasp]

Nice timing, Jerry.

-Yeah, we were right in the middle of an important fight.

-Sorry, girls, but it's an international emergency.

You see, the annual Nobel Prize Winner's Conference is

going on today.

The world's top scholars are there.

-International emergency?

Sounds more like an international snooze fest.

-Yeah!

Where can we not get tickets?

JERRY (OFFSCREEN): [clearing throat]

As you can see on this hotel surveillance video, several

prize winners have been mysteriously kidnapped.

They must be found.

-Ugh!

-Did I mention the conference is in Paris?

And now for the gadgets.

This week, we have steel cable launcher go-go boots, jet pack

backpacks, infrared heat detector glasses, exploding

lipstick, and last, but not least, emergency propeller

watches, vibrant spring colors.

And one more thing, ladies, tomorrow you'll be having a

surprise quiz in biology.

-[gasp]

Two quizzes in one day?

That's totally unfair.

-Unfair for some of us.

-Couldn't you at least tell us what the quiz is on, Jer?

-Sorry, but it would be completely unethical for me to

disclose that the test is covering the chapter on

Cro-Magnon man.

[gasp]

Oops!

-Huh?

-Huh?

-Oh, would you look at the time, I've really got to run.

Chow.

Whoa!

-I hope this thing's on autopilot.

[attendees commotion]

MAN 1 (OFFSCREEN): Vacuumed up?

WOMAN (OFFSCREEN): Vanished?

MAN 2 (OFFSCREEN): But why?

-OK, spies, keep your eyes open for anything strange, and

try to blend in.

[glasses beeping]

-Uh, ex--excuse me, Miss.

Aren't you the one who wrote the article about the

expansion of universe?

-That's me.

Brains and beauty.

And yourself?

What have you written?

-Well, uh, my specialty is prehistoric man.

In particular Cro-Magnon.

-Can you believe it?

This guy could actually help up on our biology quiz.

-Uh, uh, friends and colleagues, I've just found

out that the specialist on the expansion of the universe has

honored us with her presence.

Would you be so kind as to share your latest

finding with us?

-Uh, ha, ha.

OK, um, actually, the universe is as easy as pie.

It's like, um, one big shopping mall.

Yeah, that's it.

See, it starts out small, but the more business it does, the

more it expands.

So, no need to worry.

By the way, did I tell you?

I just love Paris.

Whoa!

-I don't see anything.

-Me neither.

It's like she vanished into thin air.

[gasps]

-Whoa!

[screams]

-Eiya!

Ooh!

-What a disaster He's the foremost authority on 19th

century French literature.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): OK, this is officially weird.

-Weird would be an understatement, Sammy.

Two people just got vacuumed into the

ceiling like dust bunnies.

-No, not the abductions.

The people who got abducted.

-Um, you want to try that again in

English, Miss Cosette?

-Think about it.

Jerry tells us we'll be quizzed on Cro-Magnon in

biology tomorrow, and the Cro-Magnon

specialist gets kidnapped.

We're also supposed to test on "Les

Miserables" and guess what?

The expert on 19th century French

literature just vanished.

-First of all, we aren't being tested on "Les Miserables."

Second of all, do you actually expect us to believe that

there's a connection between these kidnapping and our

quizzes in LA?

-That's exactly what I expect you to

believe, Miss Sore Loser.

-Easy does it, girls.

Look, we'll just ask Jerry for the subject of all of our

upcoming quizzes, and then see if any of the prize winners at

the conference are experts on those subjects.

-No way!

Absolutely not!

I am not allowed to reveal quiz subjects you girls.

-But this is different.

It's for our mission.

It could be a matter of life and-- and someone being sucked

into the ceiling.

-[sigh]

Well, when you put it that way.

Your next quiz is in math class.

The topic is Isaac Newton.

But that's all I'm telling you.

-Since when do we study cookie designers in math class?

-Newton isn't a cookie designer, you dimwit.

-Who are you calling a dimwit, traitor?

-Ah, hey, girls, look!

There's an expert on Isaac Newton, right here in the

conference catalog.

He just went into that restaurant.

[sigh]

Are you two still harping on that role in the play?

-You, obviously, have never been stabbed in the back by

one of your best friends.

-Aha!

I knew it.

You admit that Sam is one of your best friends.

-Huh?

Hey, look at this.

-Ugh!

Ahh?

-Agh!

-Huh?

-We got to get down there.

Our expert's clearly the next in line.

-Huh?

-(SHOUTING) You're in danger!

-Whoa!

-Ugh!

Agh!

-Quick, the jet pack backpacks.

Huh?

-Help!

-Incredible.

The kidnappers vacuum their victims up into these tubes.

-Not if we have anything to say about it.

-Huh?

-Let our friend go, right now!

-And tell us why you've kidnapped

the Nobel Prize winners.

[gasp]

[laughter]

-Oh, well, look at the time.

Gotta fly!

(SHEEPISHLY) Ha, ha.

-Ugh!

I think you mean, gotta run!

-Hey!

Don't leave me here.

I thought we were friends!

-Agh!

-Ugh!

[grunts]

-Oh!

Agh!

-Ugh!

[horn]

[screams]

-Agh!

-Agh!

Whoa!

-Whoa!

Agh!

-What now, Miss Bookworm?

-How should I know.

-Well, you better think of something fast, Cosette.

-Wait!

That's it!

In "Les Miserables" Jean Valjean

escapes through the sewers.

Look out!

-Ew, nast--

I'd rather fight those jerks that go into this filthy pipe.

I mean, hello, my complexion is too sensitive.

Agh!

Ugh, you'll pay for this, Sam.

And I mean that, literally.

It's going to cost a fortune to have

my go-go boots cleaned.

AMBASSADOR'S HENCHMAN (OFFSCREEN):

Forget about them.

We'll just interrogate their girlfriend.

-Goo luck trying to pry anything out of that one.

-Oh, I can be very persuasive.

-You're lucky Sam thought of the sewers, otherwise, you

would have been trench toast.

Wait a second, I'm getting a weak signal from Alex's

com-powder.

I'll patch it through.

-Help!

What are you two waiting for, an invitation?

-I'm locking in on her location.

Oh, my.

It appears she's being held at 121118 Marmalade Street.

-But that's--

-The house next door to mine.

-That's right.

And according to WHOOP records, that's where the

Ambassador from Chewbaccastan and his son have been living

for the past two weeks.

-Isn't that the fatheaded kid from Mr. Tetley's class?

-Yeah.

We'd better get back to Beverly Hills.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Fair well, gay Paris.

AMBASSADOR'S HENCHMAN (OFFSCREEN): I'm going to ask

you one last time, where's WHOOP headquarters?

-I wouldn't tell you in a million years, chump.

Just you wait and see would I do to you when

I get out of here.

-OK, you want to play games?

Fine!

I got a game for you.

-Agh!

[drilling sounds]

-Hm?

Ugh!

[grunts]

-UGh!

-It's about time you two got here.

Huh?

-Hiya!

Ugh!

Hiya!

-I warned you not to mess with me.

[growl]

-Agh!

-Ooh!

-Not bad for a bookworm.

Now let's find the Nobel Prize winners.

[door clanging]

-Huh?

-Yeah, we got all three of them, boss.

Good, bring 'em in.

-Hey, it's the bighead freak from our school.

-Pi r squared times the logarithm of cy equals--

-It's like they're sucking the intelligence from the prize

winners and putting it into his head.

-No wonder he's such a know-it-all.

-Mr. Ambassador.

-Ambassador?

-That's right, girls.

And also, soon, the father of the most intelligent

child in the world.

My son will be a genius in no time.

A star pupil in school.

No one will dare pick on him the way they picked on me.

-So, let me get this straight.

You kidnapped those scholars just to suck out their brains

and pump them into your son's head?

-Yes.

-And you think he won't get picked on?

Hello!

The guy's head is the size of a hot air balloon.

[giggles]

-We'll see who gets the last laugh.

-He's gonna turn us into hamsters!

-Keen observation.

The hamster is really going to benefit from your

intelligence.

[screaming]

-Agh!

Ouch!

-Hoo, hoo!

Hey, Alex, do that again.

-No way!

It hurt.

-But if you keep it up, you just might break through.

-Huh?

Ugh!

Ugh!

Agh!

[alarm sounds]

-Ugh!

[whooshing]

[laughter]

-Huh?

[gasp]

-Huh?

-Whew!

That was close.

-Another job well done, girls.

-Thanks, Jerry.

-Wait a minute.

Couldn't you have broken out of your cylinders yourselves?

You both have propeller watches.

-Um, yeah.

I suppose.

-Yeah, and risk getting unsightly facial bruises?

I don't think so.

-Um, girls.

Aren't you forgetting something important?

[gasps]

[scream]

-That is one freak show I want no part of.

[grunts]

-Hey, what do you know!

It's working!

-Nice job, Alex, you saved the world.

[moans]

-Guess this means from now on he'll have to study for tests,

just like the rest of us.

-Oh, wait!

I forgot.

Some of us are exempt from tests.

Agh!

-Lucky thing there was almost no fluid left in the tube.

You all right, girls?

-A little grossed out, but otherwise fine.

-I can't--

I can't believe you just did that for me.

You totally saved my life, Sam.

Not to mention my outfit.

-Well, I wouldn't have done it for just anybody.

-Only for a best friend?

-Exactly.

-Oh, Sammy, I'm so sorry I called you

a thief and a traitor.

-No.

I'm the one who should be sorry.

I never should have accepted the role of Cosette.

[beeping]

-[gasp]

Oh, no!

It's time for our quiz on "Les

Miserables." -No!

-Quick to Beverly High.

I forgot all about it.

Heck, I don't know squat about "Les Miserables."

-Neither do I.

-What are we gonna do?

-Don't worry about it, girls.

I'll tell you everything you need to know.

After all, that's what best friends are for.

-Good, because we also need help cramming for our biology

quiz on the Cro-Mags.

-Hm.

[school bell ringing]

-Wow!

Who knew an artist like me could also excel at academics?

-Looks like we're all multi-talented.

-Speaking of which, what did you guys decide to do about

the play?

-It's simple.

I am going to convince Mr. Tetley that Clover is the

right actress for the part of Cosette.

-And I'm going to insist that he make Sam my first

understudy.

-Mr. Tetley, we need to talk to you right away.

-Yeah.

It's about the part of Cosette.

-Shh!

Not now, girls.

MANDY (OFFSCREEN): Oh, Monsieur Valjean--

-Agh!

- --what ill fortune to be poor, with no family.

-That's it!

That was brilliant, Mandy!

You were born to play Cosette.

And I won't take no for an answer.

-Huh?

-Mandy, you've got the makings of a star!

-Tell me something I don't know.

-Ugh!

-I hate that traitor.

That back-stabber!

-Here we go, again!

[theme music]

[theme music]