Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Here we go again, on the road till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So 1, 2, 3, now, baby.

Here we go!

Here we go.

Here we go on a mission undercover,

and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're totally spies, yeah, get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

[goats bleating]

[goats bleating]

[boom]

[thundering hooves]

[blaring alarm]

[blast]

[splash]

-New WOOHP state-of-the-art technology?

Puh-lease!

The Evapoblaster is nothing but a glorified hairdryer.

-I agree!

That mission was totally lame.

I mean, avalanche patrol?

What are we?

Spies or forest rangers?

-Neither.

Apparently, we're goat babysitters.

[wind whistling]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): I thought this whole spy gig was

supposed to be fun.

So much for the days of exciting

missions in exotic places.

-At least, we could be psyched about our big snowboarding

trip this weekend.

-Yeah!

What do you say we forget about Jerry and his boring

missions and focus on what is really important?

-(IN UNISON) Wow!

-Oh, it's fabulous!

-Don't you think it's a bit tight for snowboarding?

-Uh!

It's hardly any of your business!

Now, bug off!

[shrieks]

-Hm.

JERRY (OFFSCREEN): Ahem.

[clicks tongue]

-Pfft!

[phone buzzes]

-Alex here.

-Alex, I've noticed your grades have slipped.

So I've arranged for you to be tutored by our top WOOHP

scholar every day after school.

No need to thank me.

I'm just happy to help where I can.

[buzz]

-Ungh!

SAMMY (OFFSCREEN): OK.

Being a spy has just gone for mundane to ridiculous.

We can't even get ready for our trip without

Jerry bugging us!

-Tell me about it.

That man is the absolutely worst!

We should definitely give him a piece of our minds.

-I totally agree.

It's high time we put our feet down.

[buzz]

-(TOGETHER) Huh!

[buzzing]

[zap]

[girls shrieking]

-Well, you know what they say?

No time like the present.

[girls shrieking]

-Huh!

Uh.

Aah!

OK, Jerry.

Enough is enough!

-That's right.

We're sick of you butting into our personal lives.

-Yeah.

And no more treating us like little girls.

Do I make myself kuh-- kuh--

clear?

-Crystal clear.

Hello, girls.

I'm Mac Smit, your new WOOHP guardian.

-You're our new guardian?

Wh--

What happened to Jerry?

-Jerry decided, after 35 wonderful years with WOOHP,

that it was time he worked on his golf game.

He is retired.

-It's true, ladies.

I have, indeed, retired.

I am, however, confident that I've left you in

very capable hands.

Mac should prove to be a fine replacement.

-So does this mean we're never going to see you again, Jer?

-Sorry, I can't help you.

I'm retired.

-I can't believe Jerry retired.

It seems like just yesterday he was invading our privacy

and majorly getting on our nerves.

-Well, we'll have plenty of time to get

acquainted later, girls.

Right now, I need you to gather round because I have a

really important mission for you.

-Great!

This guy's going to be a pain in the butt, just like Jerry.

-And the first thing you'll need for this mission is an

official WOOHP platinum credit card.

-Did you just say "platinum credit card"?

-That's right.

WOOHP gave me a couple of new cards this morning.

Your first mission is to go shopping on the

organization's dime.

I know this fabulous new department store in Paris.

-(TOGETHER) Paris?

-Buh, buh, but what about our gadgets?

Jerry always gives us gadgets.

-OK.

Here's the Parasol Crossbow, the Backpack Jetpack, the

Crime Scene Scanner Watch, the Tornado in a Can of Hairspray,

and a tube of Immobilizing Stun Tan Lotion.

Have fun.

[girls shriek]

-It's official.

Mac's the best!

The total, ultimate, coolest.

-You can say that again.

But he's also so cool and smart.

-I'm going to call Jerry to see what he might like for a

retirement gift.

Hey, Jer, it's Alex.

Just wondering what you might like as a retirement--

-Sorry, I can't help you.

I'm retired.

[radio static]

-Rude much!

-Don't worry about it.

-Yeah.

Jerry's loss is totally our gain!

-Maybe I'll buy a gift for Mac.

After all, a little generosity could go a long way.

[beep]

-Wha-- pa.

Uh!

[whirring motor]

-Run for it!

[crash]

[whirring motor]

-Whoa!

[beeps]

-Oh, man, what a waste!

Those were cashmere.

-Time for a little retaliation.

[blast]

[whirring blades]

[thunk]

-Ugh!

[glass shatters]

-OK.

That's a little more purchasing power than I was

looking for.

-We better get back to WOOHP and tell Mac what happened.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Nice suit.

-Whoa.

Back so soon.

-Yeah.

We, uh, had a little problem with the credit card.

Not that we didn't totally appreciate you giving it to

us.

-What?

Was it declined or something?

-No, it attacked us with its whirling saw blades of death.

We barely made it out of the store alive.

-Um, for you.

Sorry, I didn't have time to get it gift-wrapped.

-Aw, you, girls, can't be serious?

-Unfortunately, we are serious.

And so is the $200,000 for damages you'll be receiving

from the department store?

-Doesn't it even bother you that we were almost shredded

by a killer credit card?

-Alex, Mac is a seasoned agent.

He's probably been in so many dangerous situations, stuff

like this doesn't even faze him.

-Girls, I apologize.

You got to let me make this up to you.

How about a cliff-diving adventure in Acapulco?

-I think we've had enough international

excitement for one day.

-Well, then the least I can do is offer you a

ride home in style.

Take my brand-new Turbo Titan 3000 XT.

Just bought it yesterday.

Still has that new car smell.

-(GIRLS TOGETHER) Wow!

-[giggles]

Well, if you insist.

[gunning car engine]

-This is totally awesome!

I mean, could Mac possibly be any more money?

He's got the brains.

He's kinda cute.

And his car's the bomb!

-Tell me about it.

This car practically drives itself.

[screeching tires]

-Ooh, sunglasses!

-What do we need sunglasses for?

It's nighttime.

-It's not a question of function, Alex.

It's a question of fashion.

[explosion]

-Whoa!

-Whoa!

I guess this car really is "the bomb."

-I wonder what could have caused this?

[clatter]

-I think the question is "who" could have caused this?

-Huh?

[electronic beep]

-Bingo!

-What is it?

-A fingerprint.

A fingerprint that belongs to a criminal named Tim Scam.

-Man, his rap sheet's longer than Clover's list of past

boyfriends.

-Well, almost.

-Uh-oh.

We should warn Mac.

I mean, first the evil credit card and, now, this.

I think this Tim guy's after him.

-Huh, there's no answer.

-Then, guess, we better get to WOOHP and warn him.

-And how, exactly, are we going to do that?

-Yeah, in case you forgot, our ride exploded.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Well, if we can't drive--

[whoosh]

-Huh?

-Let's fly!

-(TOGETHER) Yeah!

[footsteps approaching]

-Where could he be?

-I don't know.

But we should, at least, leave him a note.

-That says what?

Mac, FYI, in addition to turning your credit card into

a whirling blade of death, some psycho also blew your car

into a billion pieces of scrap metal.

By the way, let's do lunch.

[rustling paper]

-Huh!

-Check this out!

A schematic drawing of the Evapoblaster and

a file on Tim Scam.

-That's weird.

Why would Mac have those?

Unless he knows that Tim Scam is after him.

-Wait a second.

This is a WOOHP employee file.

-That's impossible.

That would mean that--

-Tim Scam used to work at WOOHP.

According to these records, he was a WOOHP weapons technician

20 years ago.

But it says here he was fired for illegal use of WOOHP

technology.

-What a creep!

-We better call Jerry.

I'm sure he remembers Tim Scam.

After all, he worked here for, like, 90 years.

[beep]

-Jerry, you got to help us.

There's a crazy--

-Sorry, I can't help you.

I'm retired.

[radio static]

-Tres uncouth!

I mean, uh, I don't care if he is retired.

This is an emergency.

-Wait a second.

-Sorry, I can't help you.

I'm retired.

SAMMY (OFFSCREEN): I knew it!

This isn't live.

This is on a tape loop.

-A tape loop?

Now, why would Jerry do that?

-He wouldn't.

But someone else might.

-Someone like--

---Tim Scam!

[blasts]

-Hold it right there!

-(TOGETHER) Huh!

It's him!

[blasts]

-Maybe we could use something in here to give him the slip.

-I get a ticket every time I drive my car.

How am I supposed to drive any of these crazy things?

-How hard can this be to drive?

[engine whirring]

-What the--

-Anti-gravity cycles!

-No time for driving lessons!

[machines roaring]

[blasts]

-Uh!

As if my hair isn't brittle enough!

[motors whirring]

[monster roaring]

-I never realized how creepy this place is.

I'm glad we work outside the office.

-I think we lost him.

[girls shriek]

[blasts]

-Uh!

Hm!

I guess, I don't need that wheel after all.

[smash]

-Ha-ah!

Uh!

-Sammy!

-Follow my lead!

-Ha-ah!

Ah!

[girls screaming]

-Eww!

Where are we?

-Shh.

[footsteps approaching]

[girls gasp]

[metal creaks]

-Ugh!

-(TOGETHER) Mac!

-Alex!

Clover!

That's strange.

Why would someone outfit the Evapoblaster with a missile

guidance system?

-We're so happy it's you and not that crazy Tim Scam.

-Yeah!

He's been chasing us all over WOOHP.

And he's after you, too.

-Hm.

By the way, do you girls still have your Stun

Tan Lotion on you?

-Sure.

So what are we going to do about Tim Scam?

-Hey, did you know that your name

backwards spells "Tim Scam"?

-Whoa, that is a weird coincidence.

-You're Tim Scam!

[girls shriek]

[blast]

-Thank goodness, you're all right!

I was so worried that Tim Scam got to you.

[boink]

-[gasps]

Whoa!

[blast]

-Not so fast.

[crackling]

-Uh!

Call emergency.

I need a deep-tissue massage right this second.

-Make it two.

Hey, where's that jerk, Mac Smit or Tim Scam or whatever

his name is?

-Forget about that jerk.

Where are we?

-(TOGETHER) Huh?

-Try to relax and enjoy the ride, girls.

-Why did you bring us out here?

-And what do you plan to do with that?

-Why, I'm going to use it to evaporate the entire Earth's

water from the safety of my spaceship.

-I got to say, even for a complete psycho like you,

that's still a really crazy idea.

-Thank you.

-We read your WOOHP file.

We know all about your criminal past.

-They never did appreciate me for the genius that I am.

[helicopter blades whirring]

-Drop the money.

We got you surrounded.

-Aargh!

No.

Ow!

-I can't believe I actually thought you were cool.

You seem so smart.

But now, I see you're just another immature

run-of-the-mill terrorist.

We're, like, so over!

-Yeah.

And you can just forget about your crazy little plan because

you're going to have to deal with us first.

-OK.

You're dealt with.

Oh, and while you're out there, tell

Jerry I said hello.

[blast]

-(TOGETHER) Whoa!

Aaah!

Aaah!

-Finally, my weapons can be put to good use.

[laser blast]

[alarms blaring]

[laser blast]

-Huh?

[blasts]

-Oh, no.

He already started.

-We got to stop him.

-What do you think Scam meant by "Tell Jerry I said hello"?

-(GIRLS TOGETHER) Huh!

Jerry!

-Now, it all makes sense.

Tim Scam blasted Jerry out here so he could take Jerry's

place and gain access to WOOHP.

-We've got to get to Jerry before he runs out of oxygen.

-But how are we supposed to get over to him?

-Wait, I've got it.

-Great idea!

What's your idea?

-I'm going to use the Tornado in a Can to

give us a little kick.

-(TOGETHER) Oh, whoa!

-Oops, ha-ha.

I guess I had the can turned the wrong way.

[girls heave sigh of relief]

[zapping]

[machine whirring]

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): We did it!

We hooked up to Jerry's pad.

-Now, take us back to the mother ship.

[blasts]

-[laughs hysterically]

Hey!

-It's a good thing there's no gravity out here, or Jerry

would be out of luck.

-[breathing heavily]

-Come on, Jerry.

You've got, at least, a couple more years in you.

-[inhales sharply]

Huh.

[girls heave sigh of relief]

-Jerry's going to be just fine.

Come on.

-Where can he be?

-Judging by that floating ocean out there, I'd say he

can't be far.

[rolling surf]

-We've got to find the Evapoblaster and send that

water back to Earth.

[girls exclaim surprise]

-I got your Evapoblaster right here.

[blast]

-Ah!

-Oh!

Uh-huh!

-Terrific!

The one day I forget my moisturizer.

[blast]

-Hey!

What is this?

Ngarrh!

Let me out of here!

-(GIRLS TOGETHER) Jerry!

-Don't you remember?

I think this was your best weapon ever.

You look like you could use some liquid refreshment.

[clicking]

[laser blast]

[girls shriek]

-Ahh.

-Ahh.

-Hah!

Thanks so much for saving us, Jerry.

-Yeah.

I almost feel bad for calling you a boring old goat.

-You called me a what?

-No time to explain.

We got to get that water back to Earth.

-Let me out of here!

SAMMY (OFFSCREEN): So we missed our snowboarding trip.

But, at least, we saved the world!

-And we saved Jerry.

-I never thought I'd admit it.

But I was really starting to miss that old go--

I mean, [chuckles]

mature guy.

-Good evening, ladies.

I just wanted to stop by and officially thank you for

saving my life.

-Don't sweat it.

After all, you saved our lives, too.

-Still I did want to properly show my appreciation.

And so I'm sending you all a surprise

ski trip to St. Moritz.

-Wow!

Thanks!

-Great!

-Cool!

-But, first, I have a mission for you, girls.

I need you to train the entire WOOHP canine division.

That is, of course, after you do your homework and clean

your rooms.

And I've got some filing I need to have done.

-(TOGETHER) No!

Not again!

Jerry!

[theme music]

[theme music]