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1
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♪ ♪
2
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:10,208
The bidding stands at $8 million.
3
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,276
Nine million.
4
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:12,377
Ten million.
5
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:13,380
11 million!
6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,081
$15 million.
7
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:21,520
Joan Miró's The Poetess,
going once, going twice, sold.
8
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,256
To billionaire tech mogul
Megan Matheson.
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00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,258
- Hmph.
- [SHUDDERS]
10
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,293
[GROANS]
11
00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,397
[GROWLS]
12
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Don't take that painting, I love it!
13
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I won't let you take it!
14
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,396
There you have it, Ms. Matheson,
15
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:08,300
Joan Miró's The Poetess.
16
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,568
[GASPS]
17
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,503
My painting's been stolen.
18
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,305
That's impossible.
19
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:17,075
It's a mystery so baffling,
only one man can solve it.
20
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,811
Get me Manacek.
21
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:21,813
[RINGING]
22
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:23,648
[BANACEK THEME SONG PLAYING]
23
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- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
24
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♪ ♪
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Thank goodness you're here, Mr. Manacek.
26
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,852
You're the best freelance
insurance investigator
27
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,654
in the business.
28
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,155
Oh, well, isn't that just what we need?
29
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:41,159
Some smug pretty boy out to
make us cops look stupid.
30
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,895
Ah, Clancy, you're looking well...
31
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,864
- fed.
- Uh... see?
32
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:49,100
He put that pause between
those two words deliberately.
33
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:52,337
Maybe I did, maybe I... didn't.
34
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:55,440
Well, two can play at that...
35
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pause.
36
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,046
Three people bid on
the stolen painting:
37
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,747
Nuclear magnate Mr. Burns,
38
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,582
venture capitalist Megan Matheson
39
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,785
and mini golf cheat Homer Simpson.
40
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,186
They're all suspects.
41
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,788
I don't mind telling you, Manacek:
42
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,123
I hope you fall flat on your face.
43
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[CHUCKLING]: Oh.
44
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,559
I hope not.
45
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My mother's rather fond of it.
46
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Damn your wit.
47
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♪ ♪
48
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[SIGHS] Look, Manacek, I don't
know why you're talking to me.
49
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,619
It's my painting that was stolen.
50
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,589
Yes, but you insured
a $15 million painting
51
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:46,591
for $30 million.
52
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:49,828
For a woman with a head
for numbers, it doesn't add up.
53
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,963
You smug son of a bitch.
54
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,431
[LAUGHS]
55
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,300
I like you, Manacek.
56
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:58,169
But you should be talking
to the real painting thief:
57
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:01,740
The man I outbid, Montgomery Burns.
58
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,642
That's quite a workout you're getting.
59
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,945
Although, I can think of a better one.
60
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,514
Sorry, but I'm in a
committed relationship
61
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,616
with the former Miss Denmark.
62
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:15,053
She's created a breed of
mosquito that cures malaria.
63
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,623
Well, if she invents a cure
for commitment, let me know.
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00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,899
Pull.
65
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,534
Shoot.
66
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:31,302
Nice shot, Mr. Burns.
67
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:34,339
You're a natural in the
ancient art of skeet.
68
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,608
Oh, spare me your flattery, Manacek.
69
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,109
I know why you're here.
70
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,878
You think I stole that
ridiculous painting.
71
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:41,112
Absurd.
72
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:44,115
A little clay pigeon told me
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00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:48,053
that you couldn't stand
being outbid by... a woman.
74
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,456
Pull, pull, pull!
75
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,027
Looks like the only thing
being hit around here...
76
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,695
is a nerve.
77
00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:00,498
I'll blast that smile
right off your smug face.
78
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,900
[LAUGHS]
79
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,668
I like you, Manacek.
80
00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:05,837
But it's obvious who took the painting.
81
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:07,906
That lunatic who said he'd
do anything to have it:
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00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,675
Homer Simpson.
83
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,811
I... Did you bring that with you?
84
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,412
It's inflatable.
85
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,414
I got it at Brookstone.
86
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:30,028
I don't know what help I can be
with your case, Mr. Manacek.
87
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,730
As you can see, I'm a very busy man.
88
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:36,434
[IMITATING BEEPING SOUNDS]
89
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,504
According to my sources... Lenny...
90
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:40,872
you were obsessed with that painting.
91
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,440
I myself was once obsessed
92
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,742
with a suede sports jacket
with leather pockets.
93
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,578
I would have done anything to get it.
94
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,279
Even steal a painting.
95
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:51,282
Me? Obsessed with some stupid painting?
96
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,084
That's absurd.
97
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,385
[YELPS]
98
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,354
- Is it?
- You're right.
99
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,089
I'd do anything to have that painting.
100
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,225
Lie, kill, steal. Well, not kill.
101
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,193
But I would steal it,
and then lie about it.
102
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,294
But I didn't steal it.
103
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,429
And I'm not lying.
104
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:05,797
Believe me, or I'll kill you.
105
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,232
[CHUCKLES]
106
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,900
I like you, Manacek.
107
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,001
I'll kill you!
108
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,236
[CHUCKLES]
109
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:12,670
I like you.
110
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,873
Mr. Simpson, there's more to your story
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00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,541
than you're letting on.
112
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:18,510
And I'm gonna find out what.
113
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Please don't.
114
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,013
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
115
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
116
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,419
Wow.
117
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,789
The pizza delivery boys get
better looking all the time.
118
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,392
I'm Homer Simpson's wife.
119
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:37,128
I love wives. They never
pester you to marry them.
120
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,464
Geez, you've got a lot of lines.
121
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:43,468
You will too, after I show
you my corduroy sheets.
122
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,837
Mr. Manacek, my husband is a wreck.
123
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:49,908
Please, just give me a chance
to convince you he's innocent.
124
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,442
Only if it's over dinner.
125
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,545
Uh, okay.
126
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,914
More Frito pie, Mr. Manacek?
127
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,115
[SIGHS]
128
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,117
Sure, why not?
129
00:07:03,888 --> 00:07:05,954
If he's not guilty of
stealing that painting,
130
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,789
why is Homer cowering on the stairs,
131
00:07:07,825 --> 00:07:10,392
eating cereal straight from the box?
132
00:07:11,729 --> 00:07:14,129
[WHIMPERING]
133
00:07:14,165 --> 00:07:16,298
Well, Homer's so quick to panic.
134
00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:17,866
It's his only flaw.
135
00:07:17,902 --> 00:07:20,402
Marge, I need you to
be straight with me.
136
00:07:20,437 --> 00:07:22,938
Okay, I admit it, he has many flaws.
137
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,273
Thousands. Flaws.
138
00:07:24,308 --> 00:07:26,074
Everywhere, flaws.
139
00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:28,477
Your husband doesn't really
seem like a typical art lover,
140
00:07:28,512 --> 00:07:33,351
but he shows exquisite
taste in the female form.
141
00:07:33,717 --> 00:07:35,784
Hey, Front Pockets,
quit hitting on my mom.
142
00:07:35,819 --> 00:07:39,955
She only loves one stocky man
in tight pants: Our dad.
143
00:07:39,990 --> 00:07:41,990
Sorry, I can only solve
impossible crimes
144
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:43,692
if I'm seducing an amazing woman.
145
00:07:43,727 --> 00:07:45,427
It's my process.
146
00:07:45,462 --> 00:07:47,162
I'll tell you everything
I know about Homer
147
00:07:47,198 --> 00:07:48,797
for one of those Tiparillos.
148
00:07:48,832 --> 00:07:50,332
No Tiparillos.
149
00:07:50,367 --> 00:07:51,967
BOTH: [SCOFFS] Women.
150
00:07:52,002 --> 00:07:53,135
[CHUCKLES]
151
00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:54,536
I like you, Manacek.
152
00:07:54,572 --> 00:07:56,205
So let me clue you in on the real story
153
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,940
about my dad and that painting.
154
00:07:57,975 --> 00:08:00,709
Homer was chaperoning my class
field trip to the art museum,
155
00:08:00,744 --> 00:08:03,545
and he was not happy about it.
156
00:08:03,581 --> 00:08:04,880
Come on, come on. Hurry up in there.
157
00:08:04,915 --> 00:08:06,448
Three to a urinal.
158
00:08:06,483 --> 00:08:09,284
No hand washing, or we'll
be late for lunch.
159
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:10,519
[GROANS]
160
00:08:10,554 --> 00:08:11,887
Hmm?
161
00:08:11,922 --> 00:08:14,289
HOMER: Sheesh, look at
that stupid painting.
162
00:08:14,325 --> 00:08:15,891
What is it even supposed to be?
163
00:08:15,926 --> 00:08:17,559
Art should be of pretty ladies,
164
00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:20,062
hunting dogs with dead
rabbits, Bible crap
165
00:08:20,097 --> 00:08:21,630
and 3-D sidewalk drawings
166
00:08:21,665 --> 00:08:23,365
where it looks like you could fall in.
167
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,367
♪ ♪
168
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[WHIRRING]
169
00:08:44,154 --> 00:08:46,255
HOMER: I get it.
170
00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:48,523
I... get... it.
171
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:51,693
Mr. Simpson, some of the
kids went to the gift shop.
172
00:08:51,729 --> 00:08:54,029
We were only supposed
to bring five dollars,
173
00:08:54,064 --> 00:08:55,697
but some brought more.
174
00:08:55,733 --> 00:08:57,399
Wha-Wha... What?
175
00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:59,735
Oh, right. Chaperone.
176
00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:03,739
Hmm... mmm?
177
00:09:09,313 --> 00:09:12,047
This is warm beer.
178
00:09:12,082 --> 00:09:14,049
That's an '07 Michelob.
179
00:09:14,084 --> 00:09:16,485
Homer was saving it
for a special occasion.
180
00:09:18,922 --> 00:09:21,256
Mmm. Yes.
181
00:09:21,292 --> 00:09:24,726
My husband just couldn't stop
thinking about that painting.
182
00:09:24,762 --> 00:09:26,728
♪ ♪
183
00:09:26,764 --> 00:09:28,730
[LAUGHING]
184
00:09:34,171 --> 00:09:36,138
[GIGGLES]
185
00:09:37,274 --> 00:09:39,675
[BELCHES]
186
00:09:41,278 --> 00:09:43,245
[HUMMING]
187
00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:48,218
[EXHALES]
188
00:09:48,219 --> 00:09:51,453
Wha...? Honey,
189
00:09:51,488 --> 00:09:53,488
I love a painting.
190
00:09:53,524 --> 00:09:55,724
Oh, what is it of? Grapes?
191
00:09:55,759 --> 00:09:58,060
- No.
- Flowers?
192
00:09:58,095 --> 00:09:59,461
- No.
- Peaches?
193
00:09:59,496 --> 00:10:01,029
No.
194
00:10:01,065 --> 00:10:02,597
You sure it's a painting?
195
00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:05,367
I'm positive. I touched it
when no one was looking.
196
00:10:05,402 --> 00:10:07,836
Well, there's nothing wrong
with being an art lover
197
00:10:07,871 --> 00:10:09,905
as long as it's representational.
198
00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:11,106
Mmm...
199
00:10:11,141 --> 00:10:13,742
It is representational, isn't it?
200
00:10:13,777 --> 00:10:17,012
- [GROANS]
- Tell me it's representational.
201
00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:20,015
- [GROANS]
- What else about our marriage is a lie?
202
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:22,284
Are you really a licensed DJ?
203
00:10:22,319 --> 00:10:24,286
I took the courses,
but I failed the test!
204
00:10:25,789 --> 00:10:28,590
A blue-collar Joe suddenly
likes modern art?
205
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:30,826
That story and two bits
will get you a cup of coffee.
206
00:10:30,861 --> 00:10:32,828
What year do you think it is?
207
00:10:32,863 --> 00:10:34,529
Hey, who's the shamus here?
208
00:10:34,565 --> 00:10:36,264
I'm telling you, deep down,
209
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,533
my dad is really sensitive.
210
00:10:38,569 --> 00:10:40,302
- [HONKS SAXOPHONE]
- [SCREAMS]
211
00:10:40,337 --> 00:10:42,304
[PANTING]
212
00:10:42,339 --> 00:10:43,939
Oh, good, you're awake.
213
00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:46,875
You're the only one I can
talk to about... this.
214
00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:48,377
I know that painting.
215
00:10:48,412 --> 00:10:51,313
It's called The Poetess by Joan Miró.
216
00:10:51,348 --> 00:10:54,015
Why does it bring me such peace?
217
00:10:54,051 --> 00:10:55,784
Why?!
218
00:10:55,819 --> 00:10:58,120
See? Even though the
painting is abstract,
219
00:10:58,155 --> 00:11:00,789
that yellow circle can
represent the sun.
220
00:11:00,824 --> 00:11:03,425
HOMER: Or Pac-Man at rest.
221
00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:06,561
Dad, you think art sucks.
Snap out of it.
222
00:11:08,565 --> 00:11:11,666
HOMER: Wow. I mean, wow.
223
00:11:11,702 --> 00:11:13,735
Every time I look at it
from a different angle,
224
00:11:13,771 --> 00:11:16,238
- I see something new.
- [GROANS]
225
00:11:17,975 --> 00:11:19,274
I just want to take a moment
226
00:11:19,309 --> 00:11:21,143
to acknowledge that for the first time,
227
00:11:21,178 --> 00:11:23,912
you're dragging me into the museum.
228
00:11:23,947 --> 00:11:26,348
Yeah, it's a Topsy-turvy world.
229
00:11:26,383 --> 00:11:29,217
Beach volleyball's bigger
than regular volleyball.
230
00:11:32,456 --> 00:11:34,156
Sorry, pally. Sorry, gally.
231
00:11:34,191 --> 00:11:36,358
But the museum's closed down for good.
232
00:11:36,393 --> 00:11:38,427
- [GASPS]
- [GASPS] Can we go in and look
233
00:11:38,462 --> 00:11:40,429
at our favorite painting one last time?
234
00:11:40,464 --> 00:11:42,130
It's called The Poetess.
235
00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:44,099
Oh, it's right there, inside the crate
236
00:11:44,134 --> 00:11:45,600
that's going to the auction house,
237
00:11:45,636 --> 00:11:47,035
where a billionaire will buy it
238
00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:48,703
and you'll never see it again.
239
00:11:48,739 --> 00:11:50,906
Oh, and I'll have to take that, too.
240
00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:54,576
[HOMER WHIMPERS]
241
00:11:54,611 --> 00:11:56,678
Now museum, now you don't.
242
00:11:56,713 --> 00:11:58,580
The Springfield Museum of Fine Art
243
00:11:58,615 --> 00:12:00,949
is the latest victim of
this city's budget woes.
244
00:12:00,984 --> 00:12:03,718
The storied institution
has closed its doors forever.
245
00:12:03,754 --> 00:12:06,188
Its legendary art collection
will be sold at auction
246
00:12:06,223 --> 00:12:08,557
and its docents released into the wild.
247
00:12:08,592 --> 00:12:10,058
The closure is being protested
248
00:12:10,093 --> 00:12:11,626
by a coalition of local art lovers
249
00:12:11,662 --> 00:12:13,628
and homeless bathroom users.
250
00:12:13,664 --> 00:12:15,430
[CHANTING]: Picasso, Goya,
251
00:12:15,466 --> 00:12:17,299
Cézanne, Dalí,
252
00:12:17,334 --> 00:12:19,034
selling off artwork
253
00:12:19,069 --> 00:12:20,635
would be folly.
254
00:12:20,671 --> 00:12:22,037
[ALL CHEER]
255
00:12:22,072 --> 00:12:25,540
We're here, Vermeer, get used to it!
256
00:12:25,576 --> 00:12:27,809
People, people. Government is about
257
00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:29,778
making tough choices.
258
00:12:29,813 --> 00:12:31,580
This was not one of them.
259
00:12:31,615 --> 00:12:33,715
Museum attendance was near zero.
260
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:36,251
We lost thousands on stolen audio wands.
261
00:12:36,286 --> 00:12:39,221
What do people want with wands?
262
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:41,790
These wands
263
00:12:41,825 --> 00:12:43,625
are putting the hurt on these walnuts.
264
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:46,495
MAN [OVER WAND]: Notice how
Edward Hopper's use of windows
265
00:12:46,530 --> 00:12:48,663
invites the viewer into the scene
266
00:12:48,699 --> 00:12:50,398
but also keeps them at bay.
267
00:12:50,434 --> 00:12:52,000
- [WAND CHIMES]
- [GRUNTS]
268
00:12:52,035 --> 00:12:53,134
But Mayor Quimby,
269
00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:54,769
the Springfield Museum of Fine Art,
270
00:12:54,805 --> 00:12:56,771
or SMOFA, was a jewel.
271
00:12:56,807 --> 00:12:59,741
SMOFA was the one institution
of genuine culture
272
00:12:59,776 --> 00:13:01,443
our town could be proud of.
273
00:13:01,478 --> 00:13:02,978
Stop saying SMOFA.
274
00:13:03,013 --> 00:13:04,412
It never caught on.
275
00:13:04,448 --> 00:13:06,014
Um, excuse me, Mayor SMOFA.
276
00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:08,083
I'm not like these brainy
tote bags over here.
277
00:13:08,118 --> 00:13:10,919
I like my crusts stuffed,
my martial arts mixed,
278
00:13:10,954 --> 00:13:13,321
and my movies fully Sandler-ed.
279
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,657
But there's this painting
from that museum,
280
00:13:15,692 --> 00:13:17,259
and when I really look at it,
281
00:13:17,294 --> 00:13:19,861
only one word explains what I feel.
282
00:13:19,897 --> 00:13:22,163
- What is it again?
- [WHISPERS]
283
00:13:22,199 --> 00:13:25,000
- Transgender.
- [WHISPERS]
284
00:13:25,035 --> 00:13:26,935
Transcendent.
285
00:13:26,970 --> 00:13:29,004
Transcendence doesn't fill potholes
286
00:13:29,039 --> 00:13:30,372
or educate our children.
287
00:13:30,407 --> 00:13:32,040
Did you know we had to lay off
288
00:13:32,075 --> 00:13:33,875
a third of the police force?
289
00:13:33,911 --> 00:13:35,744
That's right. Eddie.
290
00:13:36,813 --> 00:13:38,446
I used to have a gun.
291
00:13:38,482 --> 00:13:40,282
[GRUNTS]
292
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,786
Fine, sell the artwork.
293
00:13:44,821 --> 00:13:47,055
Let's move on to the next protest:
294
00:13:47,090 --> 00:13:50,792
Too many poke restaurants.
295
00:13:50,827 --> 00:13:52,694
[CHANTING]: Poke is just okay.
296
00:13:52,763 --> 00:13:55,397
Poke is just okay.
297
00:13:56,733 --> 00:13:59,200
At Water's Edge by Paul Cézanne,
298
00:13:59,236 --> 00:14:02,203
sold for $65 million.
299
00:14:02,239 --> 00:14:05,540
Yeah! I'm as happy as Steve Martin.
300
00:14:05,576 --> 00:14:09,010
It's... Oh, God, no.
301
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:13,848
Our last item is The
Poetess by Joan Miró.
302
00:14:13,884 --> 00:14:16,751
The bidding starts at $5 million.
303
00:14:16,787 --> 00:14:18,320
HOMER: I bid that.
304
00:14:18,355 --> 00:14:21,356
- What are you doing?
- I have a plan to get the painting.
305
00:14:21,391 --> 00:14:23,024
$6 million.
306
00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:25,360
WOMAN: I think we can
do better than that.
307
00:14:26,597 --> 00:14:27,929
I need this painting
308
00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:30,131
for my private monkey
sanctuary in Costa Rica.
309
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:33,535
The monkeys find the
colors quite arousing.
310
00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:35,337
$7 million.
311
00:14:35,372 --> 00:14:37,272
- Eight million.
- Nine million.
312
00:14:37,307 --> 00:14:39,774
Sir, we attempted to verify your funds
313
00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,409
at the First Bank of Moe's.
314
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:44,179
The man at the phone
threatened to boil our skulls
315
00:14:44,214 --> 00:14:45,513
and make them into...
316
00:14:45,549 --> 00:14:47,582
[INHALES] ...rat toilets.
317
00:14:48,986 --> 00:14:51,219
- [GROANS]
- It's okay, Dad.
318
00:14:51,254 --> 00:14:53,421
You just really loved that painting.
319
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:56,491
The bidding stands at $8 million.
320
00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:58,526
- Nine million.
- Ten million.
321
00:14:58,562 --> 00:14:59,527
11 million.
322
00:14:59,563 --> 00:15:02,230
$15 million.
323
00:15:02,265 --> 00:15:05,400
Joan Miró's The Poetess going once...
324
00:15:05,435 --> 00:15:07,602
going twice... sold!
325
00:15:07,638 --> 00:15:10,405
To billionaire tech mogul
Megan Matheson.
326
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,440
- Hmph.
- [SHUDDERS]
327
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:14,409
[GROANS]
328
00:15:16,313 --> 00:15:18,279
[GROWLS]
329
00:15:18,315 --> 00:15:20,782
Don't take that painting, I love it!
330
00:15:20,817 --> 00:15:23,485
I won't let you take it!
331
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,120
Your story had everything...
332
00:15:25,155 --> 00:15:27,956
a field trip, a dream
sequence, Sideshow Mel...
333
00:15:27,991 --> 00:15:30,725
and it gave your father
the perfect motive.
334
00:15:30,761 --> 00:15:32,160
TO STEAL THAT PAINTING:
335
00:15:32,195 --> 00:15:34,429
A deeper connection to his daughter.
336
00:15:34,464 --> 00:15:36,998
Well, maybe, but I'm sure he's innocent.
337
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:39,501
Mom, Lisa, 1970s horndog,
338
00:15:39,536 --> 00:15:40,835
Dad's run off.
339
00:15:40,871 --> 00:15:42,537
He's on the lam!
340
00:15:42,572 --> 00:15:45,006
You know, once I send
your husband to prison,
341
00:15:45,042 --> 00:15:47,575
you'll be kind of single.
342
00:15:47,611 --> 00:15:49,511
[CHUCKLES]
343
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,814
MANACEK: It seems Homer
escaped out this window.
344
00:15:55,849 --> 00:15:57,649
Hmm.
345
00:15:57,684 --> 00:15:59,784
In all my years as an investigator,
346
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:02,420
I've never seen a trellis
take such a pounding.
347
00:16:02,456 --> 00:16:03,822
I know it looks bad,
348
00:16:03,857 --> 00:16:05,623
but think about what we told you.
349
00:16:05,659 --> 00:16:08,994
My husband could never
have stolen that painting.
350
00:16:09,029 --> 00:16:10,695
Hmm. Thank you, Marge.
351
00:16:10,731 --> 00:16:13,164
I now know exactly how
everything happened.
352
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,599
How do you know that?
353
00:16:14,634 --> 00:16:16,134
I'll be happy to explain...
354
00:16:16,169 --> 00:16:17,836
over breakfast?
355
00:16:17,871 --> 00:16:20,739
[GRUMBLES] You have a
real problem with women.
356
00:16:20,774 --> 00:16:23,641
I know. I'm seeing a therapist...
357
00:16:23,677 --> 00:16:26,011
tonight at my place.
358
00:16:26,046 --> 00:16:28,646
Oh, get out. Go, go!
359
00:16:32,419 --> 00:16:34,486
[SIGHS]
360
00:16:34,521 --> 00:16:37,322
White chocolate...
the loneliest chocolate.
361
00:16:37,391 --> 00:16:39,824
MANACEK: Homer, I know you're in there.
362
00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:41,493
[GASPS] How did you find me?
363
00:16:41,528 --> 00:16:43,528
I knew you'd return to
the scene of the crime:
364
00:16:43,563 --> 00:16:45,597
Where your inner peace was stolen.
365
00:16:45,632 --> 00:16:47,532
You can't bring me in. You're not a cop.
366
00:16:47,567 --> 00:16:50,001
You're not even a regular
insurance investigator.
367
00:16:50,037 --> 00:16:51,836
You're freelance. You don't get paid
368
00:16:51,872 --> 00:16:53,471
unless you submit an invoice.
369
00:16:53,507 --> 00:16:56,875
Which lets me control when
my corporate year ends.
370
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:59,110
You're always one step ahead.
371
00:16:59,146 --> 00:17:00,612
[LAUGHS]
372
00:17:00,647 --> 00:17:02,914
I don't like you, Manacek.
373
00:17:02,949 --> 00:17:04,949
Your family's story of
how you fell in love
374
00:17:04,985 --> 00:17:06,985
with that painting did
prove your innocence.
375
00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:09,554
- How?
- By providing one crucial fact:
376
00:17:09,589 --> 00:17:11,322
You're too dumb to steal anything.
377
00:17:11,358 --> 00:17:12,724
Maybe I did take it.
378
00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:15,226
- Trust me, you didn't.
- I could have.
379
00:17:15,262 --> 00:17:17,462
But I know you didn't.
That's what I'm saying.
380
00:17:17,497 --> 00:17:19,631
- I'm smart.
- You're dumb.
381
00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:23,334
After careful consideration
of facts and evidence
382
00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:24,736
observed only by me,
383
00:17:24,771 --> 00:17:27,172
I can reveal who stole The Poetess:
384
00:17:27,207 --> 00:17:28,673
Ms. Matheson.
385
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:29,774
[ALL GASP]
386
00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:31,743
Your last IPO was DOA,
387
00:17:31,778 --> 00:17:33,778
and you needed the cash
to keep your girlfriend
388
00:17:33,814 --> 00:17:35,380
in hybrid mosquito larva.
389
00:17:35,415 --> 00:17:37,382
I've seen it a thousand times.
390
00:17:37,417 --> 00:17:39,084
Impossible! The armed guards
391
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:41,119
never let the painting
out of their sight.
392
00:17:41,154 --> 00:17:44,956
But which armed guards?
393
00:17:44,991 --> 00:17:48,026
It was a simple matter of finding
394
00:17:48,061 --> 00:17:49,561
the guards' identical twins,
395
00:17:49,596 --> 00:17:52,330
then hiring them to rob
their own brothers.
396
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,800
That's the last impossible mystery
397
00:17:55,836 --> 00:17:58,736
you'll ever solve.
398
00:17:58,772 --> 00:18:00,872
Well done, Mr. Manacek.
399
00:18:00,907 --> 00:18:02,440
Who would have suspected
400
00:18:02,476 --> 00:18:04,742
it was the person none of
us had ever met before?
401
00:18:04,778 --> 00:18:07,278
Yes, it's a shame she went
through all that trouble
402
00:18:07,314 --> 00:18:08,646
to steal a painting...
403
00:18:08,682 --> 00:18:10,648
that had already been stolen...
404
00:18:10,684 --> 00:18:12,750
by you.
405
00:18:12,786 --> 00:18:14,719
Uh, not yet, sir.
406
00:18:14,754 --> 00:18:17,922
I mean, how dare you
accuse me of such a crime?
407
00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:19,824
But the painting was safely in our vault
408
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:21,960
until it left the auction house.
409
00:18:21,995 --> 00:18:25,096
But which auction house?
410
00:18:25,132 --> 00:18:26,898
It was a simple matter
411
00:18:26,933 --> 00:18:29,334
of Burns building an
identical auction house
412
00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:31,002
next door to the real one.
413
00:18:31,037 --> 00:18:32,904
The actual painting
never left the vault,
414
00:18:32,939 --> 00:18:36,307
so Burns could steal it at his leisure.
415
00:18:36,343 --> 00:18:38,576
- Now?
- Yes, sir.
416
00:18:46,453 --> 00:18:47,919
[GASPS] My painting!
417
00:18:47,954 --> 00:18:50,588
Oh, thank goodness those
thieves didn't get you.
418
00:18:50,624 --> 00:18:53,992
It's a shame I punched out
a woman and an old man over...
419
00:18:54,027 --> 00:18:56,094
a gift shop tote bag.
420
00:18:56,129 --> 00:18:58,096
[ALL GASP]
421
00:18:58,131 --> 00:18:59,264
Lisa?
422
00:18:59,299 --> 00:19:02,634
[SIGHS] It wasn't my plan to steal it.
423
00:19:04,538 --> 00:19:06,771
That painting was the first thing
424
00:19:06,806 --> 00:19:09,107
my dad and I ever had in common.
425
00:19:09,142 --> 00:19:11,776
I couldn't bear to see him lose it.
426
00:19:12,812 --> 00:19:14,445
It was a simple matter
427
00:19:14,481 --> 00:19:16,981
of switching my canvas
tote bag for the painting
428
00:19:17,017 --> 00:19:19,918
before it was even auctioned off.
429
00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:22,654
I knew it was wrong,
430
00:19:22,689 --> 00:19:24,322
but isn't it a worse crime
431
00:19:24,357 --> 00:19:25,790
to let some billionaire
432
00:19:25,825 --> 00:19:27,559
hide art away
433
00:19:27,594 --> 00:19:30,895
where guys like my dad
can never fall in love with it?
434
00:19:35,402 --> 00:19:37,569
So, who gets The Poetess now?
435
00:19:37,604 --> 00:19:39,237
$10 million.
436
00:19:39,272 --> 00:19:41,539
Ownership of the painting
reverts back to the city.
437
00:19:41,575 --> 00:19:43,041
But where will we hang it?
438
00:19:43,076 --> 00:19:45,043
We're knocking down the art museum.
439
00:19:45,078 --> 00:19:47,078
And what are you doing with
the money Springfield got
440
00:19:47,113 --> 00:19:48,580
from selling all the public's art?
441
00:19:48,615 --> 00:19:50,748
Well, uh, we're, uh, building
442
00:19:50,784 --> 00:19:53,451
certain vitally needed
civic improvements.
443
00:19:56,923 --> 00:19:59,157
Everything I love in one place.
444
00:19:59,192 --> 00:20:01,326
Beer. Hot dog.
445
00:20:01,361 --> 00:20:04,662
Bathroom. Painting. Daughter.
446
00:20:04,698 --> 00:20:06,264
Marge, you're a beautiful woman,
447
00:20:06,299 --> 00:20:07,832
but you're loyal to your husband.
448
00:20:07,867 --> 00:20:09,400
And I respect that.
449
00:20:09,436 --> 00:20:12,737
But if things were different,
would I have a shot?
450
00:20:12,772 --> 00:20:15,440
You are the most conceited,
451
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:17,709
chauvinistic, son of a...
452
00:20:17,744 --> 00:20:20,712
[CHUCKLES] I like you, Manacek.
453
00:20:25,066 --> 00:20:30,955
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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