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1
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:19,546
(ALARM BLARING)
2
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:41,343
(INMATES INDISTINCTLY YELLING
AND GRUNTING)
3
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:28,349
(IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
4
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,065
(SCREAMS AND GROANS)
5
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,167
(COUGHING)
6
00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:47,075
(CONTINUES COUGHING)
7
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,645
(GUARDS INDISTINCTLY YELLING
AND DOGS BARKING)
8
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,672
(GUARDS CONTINUE YELLING
INDISTINCTLY)
9
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:03,521
CHOW: Motherfuckers!
10
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:10,894
Fuck.
11
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:22,172
(GRUNTING)
12
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:35,055
(SPLASHING)
13
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,058
(RUMBLING)
14
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:45,296
Fuck!
15
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,955
(LAUGHING)
16
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:11,091
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
17
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,920
We're almost home, buddy!
18
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,799
(CAR HORN HONKING)
19
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,174
ALAN: Whoo!
20
00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:29,843
Whoo!
21
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:31,738
Hey.
22
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:35,681
My name's Alan and I bought a giraffe!
23
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,844
He's all mine!
24
00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:40,347
He's super friendly!
25
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:47,989
(HOWLING)
26
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:50,924
(BLEATING)
27
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:52,160
WOMAN: Oh, wow.
28
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,804
Look at the giraffe.
29
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,031
GIRL: Oh, my God. Where
do you think it's going?
30
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:57,936
Whoo!
31
00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:01,476
Oh, my life is great! I
have a wonderful life!
32
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,609
I have a wonderful life!
33
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,445
(GRUNTS)
34
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,280
(FAMILY SCREAMING)
35
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:19,530
(TRUCK HORN HONKING
AND TIRES SCREECHING)
36
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:30,807
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
37
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:42,418
Yes, sir. Absolutely, I will.
Thank you so much. No, of course.
38
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:46,814
No, no. And again, I'm so sorry.
39
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,654
That was the mayor, Alan.
40
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,896
It was an accident.
41
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:59,360
You said you'd always love me
no matter what I did.
42
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:03,337
I know and I do. You're my best friend.
But, Alan, why would you buy a giraffe?
43
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:06,204
I've always wanted one.
44
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:09,139
I could feed him from my tree house.
45
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,373
Besides, they remind me a lot of myself.
46
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:12,941
In what way?
47
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:17,977
They're majestic, pensive and tall.
48
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,181
- Pensive?
ALAN: - Yeah.
49
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,849
- Where'd you learn that word?
- "Words With Friends."
50
00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:25,586
- What friends, Alan?
- You can set it on random.
51
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:26,924
(GROANS)
52
00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:31,933
Alan, aside from the fact
that you shut down a freeway...
53
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:35,938
...you murdered a wild animal.
It's national news.
54
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:39,099
You don't want to know the checks
I had to write to fix this.
55
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,108
Oh, please. We're rich.
56
00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:43,679
We are not anything, Alan.
57
00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:47,477
I am well-off. You are
my 40-year-old son...
58
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,347
Forty-two. I'm 42!
59
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:52,956
...42-year-old son who still lives at home.
60
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:56,582
You are to go back on your medication
or I'm cutting you off.
61
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,590
You're bluffing. When's dinner?
62
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,596
Your mother and I can't take this anymore!
63
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:05,634
- Well, you might have to.
SID: - I can't do it!
64
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:06,998
I cannot do this!
65
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,195
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
66
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:11,240
BILLY JOEL (SINGING OVER HEADPHONES):
I don't care what you say anymore
67
00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:13,274
This is my life
68
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:21,307
Go ahead with your own life
Leave me alone
69
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:25,081
CHORUS (SINGING): Keep it to yourself
It's my life
70
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,926
LINDA: Alan! Alan!
71
00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:37,561
ALAN (SINGING): Ave
72
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:38,223
Maria
73
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:54,175
(CONTINUES SINGING "AVE MARIA")
74
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,157
My God, he's got the voice of an angel.
75
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,890
It's breathtaking.
76
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:12,468
Ave
77
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:13,125
Maria
78
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:26,678
(CLEARS THROAT)
79
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,682
I can't believe my daddy is dead.
80
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,343
(FEEDBACK OVER MICROPHONE)
81
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:34,890
I can think of so many people
I would rather have died first.
82
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:36,321
Like my mother.
83
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:39,225
As many of you know...
84
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,926
...my father and I were extremely close.
85
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:47,530
He was my life partner.
86
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:52,131
He would often tell me,
almost on a daily basis...
87
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:53,902
...that I was his favorite child.
88
00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:58,613
I'll always remember the last words
he said to me:
89
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,281
"I'm proud of you, Alan."
90
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,051
"Never change."
91
00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:06,081
Well...
92
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,158
...I heard you loud and clear, Daddy.
93
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,786
I will never change.
94
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,731
Never, ever.
95
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:15,927
(FEEDBACK OVER MICROPHONE)
96
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:17,431
Oh, Mom.
97
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:19,763
Go ahead, chief.
98
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,837
Sid Garner was a beloved husband...
99
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:27,033
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
100
00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:28,576
...father and neighbor.
101
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:33,307
Wow, rough day.
102
00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:36,248
- Yeah, how's Tracy doing?
- Not great.
103
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,583
Her mother's totally on the edge,
and if all this weren't enough...
104
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,589
...apparently Alan's been off his meds
for almost six months.
105
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:43,954
Oh, boy.
106
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,153
Yeah, it has not been pretty.
107
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:50,028
- Then there's the whole fucking giraffe thing.
- I thought that was pretty funny.
108
00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:51,998
- What?
- Come on. He killed a giraffe.
109
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,831
Who gives a fuck?
110
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:58,973
You know, I wasn't gonna say anything, but
Alan's been stopping by my office lately.
111
00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:01,008
DOUG: You're kidding me. What for?
112
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:05,877
I don't know. He just sits in the waiting
room and reads Highlights magazine.
113
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:09,281
Fills in the puzzles, whatever he can,
and then leaves.
114
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,087
Check it out.
115
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:17,026
DOUG: Wow. PHIL: Jesus, what
are you gonna do with him?
116
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,925
Actually,
I wanted to talk to you guys about that.
117
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,623
Linda really wants to stage
an intervention for him.
118
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,631
An intervention? Really?
119
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,599
I think that sounds like a great idea.
120
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:28,602
Yeah, the thing is...
121
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:33,471
...she's pretty convinced he won't agree
to it unless all of us are there.
122
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:35,435
I mean, you know how he is.
123
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:38,775
I don't know. It seems a
little extreme to me.
124
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,781
Oh, God. Look at him now.
125
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:49,817
Okay, I'm in. When are we doing it?
126
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,655
LAUREN: So we talked to Tracy today...
127
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,288
...and she said that the treatment facility
that they found is really nice.
128
00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:59,459
It's beautiful. I checked it out online.
Great reputation.
129
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:03,664
Who gives a fuck? It's in Arizona. We gotta
go on like a two-day drive for this shit?
130
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:04,864
Here we go.
131
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,739
They should just save their money
and send him to fat camp.
132
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:08,970
- Phil.
- What?
133
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:12,173
He should lose weight. He'll find a woman.
The dude's lonely.
134
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:15,217
If he's so lonely,
why don't the you spend more time with him?
135
00:11:15,374 --> 00:11:18,753
- No, trust me, you don't want that.
- No. You definitely don't want that.
136
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:20,855
Come on. He's not that bad.
137
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,926
I mean, what's the worst that's happened?
The tattoo?
138
00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:28,693
Yeah, the tattoo's the worst.
139
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,026
Right?
140
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:33,170
Definitely. Tattoo was the worst.
Nightmare.
141
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,462
Speaking of which, you ever get tested?
142
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,767
Excuse me?
143
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:39,341
You know, because of the ink.
144
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:43,008
That went inside you.
145
00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:45,838
I'm fine.
146
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,546
PHIL: Take care.
LAUREN: All right, good luck tomorrow.
147
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,120
PHIL: Oh, thanks.
148
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,082
- I'll pick you up at 11.
- Perfect.
149
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:56,351
LAUREN: Thank you so much.
150
00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:00,095
Thanks.
151
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:09,196
LINDA: Again, thank you so much for coming.
PHIL: Oh, of course.
152
00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:12,240
This is Nico. Nico is a
good friend of Alan's.
153
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:14,436
- What's up, bros?
PHIL: - Oh, yeah, hey.
154
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,447
And that's Blanca. Blanca's been with us
since Alan was a baby.
155
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:19,947
- Hello.
- Hello.
156
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:23,280
And this is Timothy.
Timothy lives across the street.
157
00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:24,921
He and Alan swim together.
158
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,249
- Hey, what's up, little man?
- Hey.
159
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,485
- Why don't you guys take a seat?
- Yeah.
160
00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:32,356
(DOUG CLEARS THROAT)
161
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,725
Tracy's on her way back
with Alan right now.
162
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:39,563
Obviously, he has no idea this is coming,
so things might get a little intense.
163
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:42,262
But, no matter what happens, remember:
164
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,341
This is all about Alan getting better.
165
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,246
Mother, Oreo smoothie, now!
166
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:53,582
Oh.
167
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,320
- Hey, everyone.
- Hey.
168
00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:59,354
Hey, Timothy. Little cold
for a swim, isn't it?
169
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,486
Oh, wow. Look. You went to the pier today.
How was that?
170
00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:05,651
- We had a great time.
- Yeah.
171
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:09,857
I played skee ball for, like, 45 minutes.
It was a pretty sick workout.
172
00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:11,797
What's going on?
173
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:15,700
Uh, ahem, why don't you have a seat, bud?
We just want to talk to you for a sec.
174
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,704
Okay.
175
00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:23,202
- Hey, Phil.
- Hey. Yeah.
176
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,872
- Yeah.
- What's going on?
177
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:27,240
Oh, you got me.
178
00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,750
(ALL LAUGHING)
179
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,720
DOUG: So, Alan...
180
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:36,019
...we're all here to tell you
about an awesome place...
181
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:37,820
...called New Horizons.
182
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:40,893
That does sound awesome.
183
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,857
Alan, this is an intervention.
184
00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:45,391
A what?
185
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:47,460
Mom.
186
00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:51,775
Alan.
187
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:56,002
"I love you so much. We all do."
188
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:59,206
"But we can't keep lying to each other."
189
00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,282
"Ever since you were a baby, all I want..."
190
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,716
Oh, my God, is anybody else falling asleep?
191
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:05,048
DOUG: Alan, listen.
192
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,657
- No offense, Mom, but you're boring.
BLANCA: - Mr. Alan.
193
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,048
Oh, now you?
194
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:12,025
"I pick up after you for 30 years."
195
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:16,189
"I cleaned your room.
I see things no one should ever see."
196
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:18,032
"But I pray for you."
197
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:20,993
- "Mr. Alan, everyone..."
PHIL: - Hey.
198
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,197
- Someone should clean that up.
- Alan.
199
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,434
Alan. You are not well.
200
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:29,739
You're off your meds and you're
clearly upsetting your whole family.
201
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:33,213
- That's baloney.
- Alan, if you say yes to this...
202
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:37,013
...we drive you there today, and I promise
you will come back a changed man.
203
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:41,548
Who's we? What do you mean, "we"?
Who's we?
204
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,025
We. All of us. Stu, Phil, me, you.
205
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:51,597
You going, Phil?
206
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,206
I love you, Alan.
207
00:14:58,931 --> 00:14:59,475
(CRYING)
208
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:21,562
(CONTINUES CRYING)
209
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:40,316
(HARRY NILSSON'S "EVERYBODY'S TALKIN" '
PLAYING ON RADIO)
210
00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:43,982
Hey, Alan, you hungry?
211
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,123
You wanna get some Arby's?
212
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,951
No, thanks.
213
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:55,091
You know, I meant to tell you earlier,
that's a really cool vest you got on.
214
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,001
Thanks, Phil. It was my dad's.
215
00:15:58,157 --> 00:15:59,534
He died in it.
216
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,069
Whoa.
217
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,933
That's intense.
218
00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:06,975
Hey, Alan, just want to say what you're
doing is really brave. We're proud of you.
219
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,873
Yeah, you're gonna do great.
220
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:12,878
Stop the car.
I don't want to do this anymore.
221
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,018
- What?
- I changed my mind.
222
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:18,053
Alan, you can't change your mind.
Everybody's counting on you.
223
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:20,884
I'm fine just the way I am.
I want to go home.
224
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,806
Turn the car around. Now, please!
I don't...
225
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,189
(CRASHING)
226
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:25,852
What the fuck was that?
227
00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:30,661
- Oh, my God! He's doing it on purpose!
- Get out of his way!
228
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,302
I am, I am.
229
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:39,135
- Hey! Hey, get the fuck off!
- You have to exchange information.
230
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,073
- Why?
- Jesus. Phil!
231
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:43,644
- Phil! Phil!
- Oh, shit!
232
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,374
(ALL SCREAMING)
233
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:52,886
- Get away from him!
- I'm trying!
234
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,520
DOUG: - Look out!
- Oh, shit!
235
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,162
(SCREAMING)
236
00:16:59,318 --> 00:17:01,491
ALAN: Aw, shit! Oh, shit.
237
00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:05,066
(ALL SCREAMING)
238
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,294
PHIL: Shit!
239
00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:07,860
Go, go, go!
240
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,870
Lock your doors! Doug, lock your doors!
241
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,872
ALAN: Shit! What's going on?
242
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,203
(SCREAMING)
243
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,742
Get the fuck... Hang on!
244
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,240
(STU SCREAMS)
245
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:24,449
STU: Help!
PHIL: Let go, fucking asshole!
246
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:29,390
(ALAN PANTING)
247
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:38,591
(STU SCREAMS)
248
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:40,737
PHIL: Stu! We're okay.
STU: We're in an elevator!
249
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,133
DOUG: Where are you?
250
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:43,898
(STU CONTINUES SCREAMING)
251
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,566
STU: What the fuck is going on?
252
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,738
(PHIL COUGHING)
253
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:55,184
Please, this is a huge mistake.
254
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:56,819
You got the wrong guys!
255
00:17:56,975 --> 00:18:00,115
I got the right fucking guys! Get him up.
Pick him up. Put him here.
256
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:04,385
- You're Black Doug! That's Black Doug!
- Shut the fuck up with that. Shut the fuck up.
257
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,223
Oh, my God. It is.
258
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:09,891
Alan, tell me right now,
why is Black Doug kidnapping us?
259
00:18:10,055 --> 00:18:12,331
- I said don't call me that shit no more.
STU: - Sorry.
260
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,732
- It ain't Alan's fault.
- Thank you, Black Doug.
261
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,071
- Motherfucker!
PHIL: - Doug!
262
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:18,401
- Doug!
- Okay, okay.
263
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:19,770
- Just Doug, okay?
- Yeah.
264
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,040
Why are you doing this?
265
00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:24,613
MARSHALL: Because...
266
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:28,707
...I told him to.
267
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:29,978
I'm Marshall.
268
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,480
And whether you know it or not...
269
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:35,623
...we all have something in common.
270
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:40,989
And it all started four years ago
when this moron...
271
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:45,096
...sold the wrong drugs to this dumb fuck.
272
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:50,104
You have no idea the chain of events
that were set in motion that night...
273
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:53,937
...in the parking lot of
a fucking liquor store.
274
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:14,687
What up, nigga?
275
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,497
Excuse me?
276
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:19,101
Chill out, I'm not a cop.
Just in town for the night.
277
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,329
Me and my boys looking to get our freak on.
278
00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:25,632
You sold Alan roofies.
279
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,842
Oh, shit. I must've mixed up the bags.
280
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,343
My fault, Alan.
281
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:32,505
Damn. Marshall gonna be pissed off at me
on that one.
282
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:35,683
(ECHOING) Damn. Marshall gonna be
pissed off at me on that one.
283
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:37,376
Marshall?
284
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,454
You're Marshall.
285
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:41,887
You brought us out here because of that?
286
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,219
(LAUGHS)
287
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,726
You're not here because of that.
288
00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:50,094
You're here because some Chinaman
I never heard of strolls into my town...
289
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,599
...and takes one of my guys off the street.
290
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,431
- Mr. Chow?
- Yes.
291
00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:56,766
Yes, Mr. Leslie fucking Chow.
292
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,000
You introduced a virus into my life.
293
00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:01,008
Oh, God, what did he do?
294
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:02,440
He fucked me in the ass.
295
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:04,672
Oh, he does that from time to time.
296
00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:07,747
Not literally.
297
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,175
Jesus!
298
00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:15,784
A few weeks after your
bullshit, I get word...
299
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,622
...this sheik is coming in from Abu Dhabi.
300
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,531
MARSHALL: He was looking to make some
less-than-legal investments.
301
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:26,903
He brought his two wives...
302
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,302
...and $42 million in gold bars.
303
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:33,569
It was a lay-up.
304
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,143
MAN: Get down! Get down!
305
00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:40,539
MARSHALL: We took it all.
306
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:45,478
Two vans, each with 21 million in gold.
307
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,821
My guys split up.
308
00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:51,719
One of them made it back...
309
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,827
(SIREN WAILING)
310
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,962
...one of them didn't.
311
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,074
Is there a problem, officer?
312
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,836
Not anymore, motherfucker.
313
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,742
(LAUGHING)
314
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:15,546
Leslie Chow stole $21 million from me...
315
00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,084
...on a Tuesday.
316
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,049
Oh, God.
317
00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:21,118
I looked everywhere for him.
318
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,191
But he's gone, no one can find him.
319
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:27,797
Until the little cockroach got
himself pinched in Bangkok.
320
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:32,831
Sol pay him a visit.
321
00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:36,137
MARSHALL: I offer him a truce.
322
00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:38,969
I won't touch a hair on his head.
323
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:42,601
I just want him to tell
me where my gold is.
324
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:44,472
He refuses to talk.
325
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:56,483
Not only does he refuse to talk to me...
326
00:21:56,648 --> 00:22:00,562
...he has no communication with anyone
from the outside...
327
00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:02,027
...except you!
328
00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:03,530
Hey.
329
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:05,100
It's unfair!
330
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:06,895
Alan, you been talking to Chow?
331
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,630
- They've been writing letters.
- Hey, those are private!
332
00:22:10,028 --> 00:22:15,171
"Dear Leslie, OMG, the McRib is back!
Why was it ever gone?"
333
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,506
Exactly!
334
00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:19,581
"Dear Alan,
I threw urine on prison guard today."
335
00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:21,877
"Blamed it on cellmate.
Wish you were here."
336
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,644
Yeah, I wish I could've seen that.
337
00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:27,916
Letter after letter of total nonsense...
338
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,082
...except for one common thread:
339
00:22:30,248 --> 00:22:31,727
You guys!
340
00:22:32,617 --> 00:22:33,823
The wolf pack.
341
00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:35,396
Jesus Christ, Alan.
342
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,169
Five weeks ago, Chow escaped
from maximum security detention.
343
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:41,068
Oh, fuck.
344
00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:44,230
He stowed aboard a shipping freighter
bound for the West Coast.
345
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:50,640
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
346
00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:53,942
Alan, if you know where he is,
you tell this man right now.
347
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,185
Phil, I don't know, I swear.
I haven't talked to him in months.
348
00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:05,955
We gotta do it the hard way.
349
00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:08,761
STU: Oh, no!
DOUG: What the fuck? Hey!
350
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,127
MARSHALL: Let's go.
DOUG: Hey! No! No! What the fuck?
351
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:12,461
Whoa, what are you doing?
352
00:23:12,791 --> 00:23:15,772
Doug is my insurance. He stays with me.
353
00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:18,533
You don't give me Chow,
I blow his brains out.
354
00:23:18,697 --> 00:23:19,971
You go to the cops...
355
00:23:20,465 --> 00:23:21,671
...I blow his brains out.
356
00:23:21,833 --> 00:23:24,439
That's insane! We don't even know
where the fuck he is!
357
00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:26,446
No one does.
358
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:30,052
But I figure the wolf pack
has the best chance of finding him.
359
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:31,278
You have three days.
360
00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:33,454
Get to work.
361
00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:37,986
Can you take Stu instead?
362
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,490
Fuck you, Alan.
363
00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:43,088
Shit.
364
00:23:48,493 --> 00:23:49,836
Shit!
365
00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,933
PHIL: Alan.
ALAN: Yeah, Phil?
366
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:56,011
PHIL: I need you to roll over here
and chew off these hand-ties.
367
00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:57,408
ALAN: Okay.
368
00:23:59,337 --> 00:24:00,907
- Oh.
ALAN: - Damn it!
369
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:03,245
Ow. Oh, fuck!
370
00:24:03,708 --> 00:24:05,748
ALAN: Got a little too much steam.
PHIL: Get off me.
371
00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:07,948
ALAN: All right, let me just shimmy down.
372
00:24:08,146 --> 00:24:10,422
- Would you just hold still? Hold still!
PHIL: - Ow.
373
00:24:10,582 --> 00:24:11,890
STU: Help!
374
00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:14,287
Help!
375
00:24:21,426 --> 00:24:23,428
PHIL: Holy shit.
376
00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:26,136
What are we gonna do, Stu?
377
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:28,972
STU: - We're gonna go to the police.
- Oh, no, we're fucking not.
378
00:24:29,367 --> 00:24:31,176
Did you hear that guy?
379
00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:32,815
He will kill Doug, period.
380
00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:34,983
Chow is a cancer.
381
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,484
He's been a cancer
since the first day we met him.
382
00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:40,384
We're gonna hand him over to Marshall
and then it's done.
383
00:24:40,545 --> 00:24:41,785
- Hey, Phil.
- Alan, not now.
384
00:24:41,947 --> 00:24:44,052
But I need you, Stu. I can't do this alone.
385
00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:47,060
Do what alone?
We have no idea where he even is.
386
00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:48,357
- Phil.
- What, Alan?
387
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,091
I was gonna say I got this strange e-mail
the other day.
388
00:24:51,256 --> 00:24:54,703
I wasn't sure what it meant,
but now I think it might be from Chow.
389
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,133
"Fatty, it feels good to be out."
390
00:24:58,296 --> 00:25:01,334
"I'm close by. Tell no one.
I'll be in touch."
391
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:02,706
"Chow."
392
00:25:04,970 --> 00:25:08,076
This says "Chow."
How did you not know this was from Chow?
393
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,652
At the time, I thought it was "Chow"
like "goodbye."
394
00:25:10,809 --> 00:25:12,482
You know, like, "Chow, arrivederci."
395
00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:15,181
- You know, Sbarro, Papa John's.
- I'm writing him back.
396
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,122
Whoa, wait, wait. Just hold on.
397
00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:19,762
Gonna tell him you're happy he's out
and you'd love to see him.
398
00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:22,091
Ooh, I would love to see him.
399
00:25:22,787 --> 00:25:24,596
Do you even know what's going on?
400
00:25:24,756 --> 00:25:28,636
Yes, I do. Phil's doing all the work,
I'm his assistant...
401
00:25:28,793 --> 00:25:32,536
- ...you're standing there looking like an idiot.
- I'm gonna arrange a meeting...
402
00:25:32,697 --> 00:25:35,610
- ...and we're gonna take him out.
- "Take him out"?
403
00:25:35,767 --> 00:25:37,906
Who says that?
How do we take someone out?
404
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:41,279
We'll use drugs.
405
00:25:41,439 --> 00:25:43,180
Prescription drugs.
406
00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:45,787
You know, the kind a dentist has access to.
407
00:25:45,944 --> 00:25:49,289
Good luck finding a dentist
who will write fake prescriptions.
408
00:25:49,447 --> 00:25:51,723
Oh, I know one. His name is Stuart Price.
409
00:25:51,883 --> 00:25:53,692
Now let's go find a fucking pharmacy.
410
00:25:54,986 --> 00:25:58,058
Whoo! You just got schooled, son.
411
00:25:58,557 --> 00:25:59,797
Are you coming or not?
412
00:25:59,958 --> 00:26:01,403
I don't like this plan.
413
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,131
Okay, then. Ciao.
414
00:26:07,265 --> 00:26:09,267
(ALAN LAUGHS)
415
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,747
I got a pretty dope sense of humor, bro!
416
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:16,818
(ALAN CONTINUES LAUGHING)
417
00:26:18,176 --> 00:26:20,816
MAN: This amount with syringes is just weird.
Go check it out.
418
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:23,552
Everything okay?
419
00:26:23,715 --> 00:26:25,888
Well, it's just a strange request.
420
00:26:26,051 --> 00:26:28,258
This drug in this amount
and a pack of syringes.
421
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,491
- It's just a little weird.
- Yeah.
422
00:26:30,655 --> 00:26:33,568
It's just kind of an emergency, so...
423
00:26:33,725 --> 00:26:37,434
See, that right there, and you're acting
all fidgety, plus you look like shit...
424
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:39,837
...in our business, these
are all red flags.
425
00:26:39,998 --> 00:26:42,239
I need to call the doctor,
make sure everything's okay.
426
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:46,473
Aha. You're in luck, because I actually am
the prescribing doctor.
427
00:26:46,638 --> 00:26:48,948
Oh, boy. Another red flag.
428
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:54,847
It says here you're a dentist.
429
00:26:55,013 --> 00:26:58,153
Yeah. Doctor of Dental Science.
430
00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:00,927
This is fucked up.
431
00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:02,929
Hey, Dad?
432
00:27:03,355 --> 00:27:05,062
I think we got a live one.
433
00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:10,499
How'd we do?
434
00:27:10,662 --> 00:27:13,541
We did good.
I got Demerol, a pack of syringes...
435
00:27:13,698 --> 00:27:16,702
...and almost lost my dental license.
436
00:27:16,868 --> 00:27:18,814
- What about Chow? Anything?
- No.
437
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:21,678
Oh, look at this.
He e-mailed me like 20 minutes ago.
438
00:27:22,207 --> 00:27:24,050
Alan, we've been sit...
439
00:27:24,209 --> 00:27:25,654
Give me the phone, please.
440
00:27:25,844 --> 00:27:27,846
- What does it say?
- Oh, wow.
441
00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:31,185
He wants to meet Alan tonight at 8.
It says come alone.
442
00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:33,090
- Come alone where?
- A bus stop.
443
00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:35,491
In Tijuana.
444
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,133
Tijuana's the bomb.
445
00:27:37,288 --> 00:27:38,631
Oh, fuck.
446
00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:42,169
No, that's perfect.
No, it's like a three-hour drive from here.
447
00:27:42,594 --> 00:27:44,665
Yeah, Stu, try reading a map.
448
00:27:45,230 --> 00:27:48,234
Yeah, Alan, try reading anything ever.
449
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,074
Yeah, Stu, try not having
such big horse teeth.
450
00:27:54,272 --> 00:27:56,479
PHIL: All right, we need a plan.
451
00:27:56,641 --> 00:27:59,087
They're meeting on a bus bench
in a public place...
452
00:27:59,244 --> 00:28:02,316
...so Alan needs to convince Chow
to go someplace more private.
453
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,087
Someplace where we can sneak up on him
and drug him.
454
00:28:06,651 --> 00:28:07,686
Like where?
455
00:28:07,886 --> 00:28:09,388
I don't know, like an alley.
456
00:28:09,554 --> 00:28:10,897
What about a movie theater?
457
00:28:11,623 --> 00:28:13,330
Fuck, that's actually a great idea.
458
00:28:13,625 --> 00:28:15,798
The lights go down...
459
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,032
...we take the seats behind him,
we jab him and it's fucking done.
460
00:28:19,330 --> 00:28:22,038
I'll jab him if you want.
I've drugged people before.
461
00:28:22,434 --> 00:28:23,879
Yeah, us.
462
00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:27,539
No offense, but we're not letting you
handle any drugs. You'll kill someone.
463
00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:29,276
Oh, please, I'm an expert.
464
00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:31,250
Remember the marshmallows in Thailand?
465
00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:32,544
Yeah?
466
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:36,158
I made it so you could eat at least three
before hitting a fatal dose.
467
00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,917
Wait.
468
00:28:39,084 --> 00:28:42,793
So you're saying I would've died
if I had had four?
469
00:28:43,188 --> 00:28:45,361
Nobody eats four marshmallows, Stu.
470
00:28:45,523 --> 00:28:48,163
That insane theory is the only reason
I'm still alive?
471
00:28:48,326 --> 00:28:50,863
Yes! And you're welcome, by the way.
472
00:28:51,029 --> 00:28:53,441
STU: Don't say "you're welcome"
for almost killing me.
473
00:28:53,598 --> 00:28:54,633
- Fine.
- Thank you.
474
00:28:54,799 --> 00:28:56,710
- You're welcome.
- Goddamn it!
475
00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:28,333
(THE COASTERS' "DOWN IN MEXICO"
PLAYING ON RADIO)
476
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:34,148
PHIL: Oh, God.
477
00:29:35,473 --> 00:29:37,350
You know, you were right.
478
00:29:37,976 --> 00:29:42,356
- About what?
- That place in Arizona. It's not gonna help him.
479
00:29:43,848 --> 00:29:46,522
There is no facility that can fix this guy.
480
00:29:47,418 --> 00:29:50,228
We're gonna spend the rest of our lives
dealing with him...
481
00:29:50,388 --> 00:29:53,665
...because we're all he has now.
482
00:29:54,359 --> 00:29:56,430
You realize that? We're it.
483
00:29:58,596 --> 00:30:00,098
Oh, shit, check it out.
484
00:30:00,565 --> 00:30:01,635
Is that Chow?
485
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,541
Hey, fat stuff.
486
00:30:03,701 --> 00:30:04,941
- Leslie.
- Uh-uh-uh.
487
00:30:05,103 --> 00:30:07,447
- Act cool. Eyes forward.
- Yeah, okay.
488
00:30:07,772 --> 00:30:10,116
- Anyone follow you?
- No, I don't think so.
489
00:30:10,275 --> 00:30:11,618
Good, good.
490
00:30:11,776 --> 00:30:15,280
Gotta keep low profile right now.
Chow wanted man.
491
00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,490
Can't trust anyone.
492
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:20,630
Quick, give me some sugar.
Come on, come on, come on.
493
00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:23,826
PHIL: What the fuck?
494
00:30:23,988 --> 00:30:25,990
Did he just kiss him?
495
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:29,263
Listen, I'm in a bit of a pickle, Alan.
496
00:30:29,427 --> 00:30:32,169
- I need a friend.
- Well, I'm your friend, Leslie.
497
00:30:32,597 --> 00:30:35,271
Exactly. That's why I called you down here.
498
00:30:35,433 --> 00:30:38,346
You're the only person I can trust
in this shit-hole of a life.
499
00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:40,847
That's not true.
Stu and Phil are your friends.
500
00:30:41,406 --> 00:30:43,113
Oh, really?
501
00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:44,719
That's interesting.
502
00:30:45,343 --> 00:30:46,686
Where are they?
503
00:30:47,812 --> 00:30:49,587
- Around.
- Around where?
504
00:30:49,747 --> 00:30:50,953
I don't know.
505
00:30:56,955 --> 00:31:00,232
- Motherfucker! I told you to come alone!
- Leslie.
506
00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:01,426
Shit.
507
00:31:01,593 --> 00:31:03,073
- What happened?
STU: - Is he leaving?
508
00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:05,262
ALAN: We'll talk more! I'll
give you another kiss!
509
00:31:05,263 --> 00:31:06,401
STU: He's coming this way.
510
00:31:06,564 --> 00:31:08,339
Get down. Get down.
511
00:31:08,499 --> 00:31:10,877
PHIL: - Fuck.
- Leslie!
512
00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:12,946
Oh, fuck.
513
00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,707
- Get out of the car, you mutts!
- Leslie, no!
514
00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:18,377
- Get off me, fat clown!
- Chow! Chow, calm down!
515
00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,580
- Who sent you?
- No one! No.
516
00:31:20,745 --> 00:31:24,022
- We just wanted to see you!
- Liar! No one wants to see Chow!
517
00:31:24,182 --> 00:31:27,254
No, we... We miss you.
518
00:31:27,418 --> 00:31:30,194
- What?
- We miss you, Chow!
519
00:31:30,355 --> 00:31:32,631
- That's it.
- Yeah.
520
00:31:32,790 --> 00:31:34,292
We miss you.
521
00:31:35,493 --> 00:31:36,597
You miss me?
522
00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:38,864
So much.
523
00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:45,704
You miss Chow.
524
00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:48,375
Yeah, buddy.
525
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,320
We love you, Chow.
526
00:31:59,617 --> 00:32:04,828
(SINGING) I hurt myself today
527
00:32:05,690 --> 00:32:10,105
To see if I still feel
528
00:32:10,895 --> 00:32:14,308
I focus on the pain
529
00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:21,107
The only thing that's real
530
00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:24,847
What have I become
531
00:32:25,009 --> 00:32:27,250
What the fuck am I watching?
532
00:32:27,578 --> 00:32:30,525
My sweetest friend
533
00:32:32,083 --> 00:32:35,690
Everyone I know
534
00:32:35,853 --> 00:32:37,264
Goes away in the end
535
00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:40,028
- Is that gonna be enough?
STU: - Oh, yeah.
536
00:32:42,293 --> 00:32:45,866
This will take about a minute to kick in.
We'll tell the waitress he's drunk.
537
00:32:46,030 --> 00:32:48,340
By the time we get to the car,
he'll be out cold.
538
00:32:48,499 --> 00:32:51,378
My empire of dirt
539
00:32:52,370 --> 00:32:56,477
I will let you down
540
00:32:57,675 --> 00:33:02,215
I will make you hurt
541
00:33:03,114 --> 00:33:04,388
(CROWD APPLAUDS)
542
00:33:08,086 --> 00:33:09,929
Alan, sit down.
543
00:33:11,089 --> 00:33:12,625
That was really nice, Chow.
544
00:33:12,790 --> 00:33:13,928
Thanks, Phil.
545
00:33:14,092 --> 00:33:16,629
The key is to sing from your heart.
546
00:33:16,794 --> 00:33:19,138
So Mexico, huh?
What are you doing down here?
547
00:33:19,297 --> 00:33:23,268
You know, fucking, doing blow.
Same old, same old.
548
00:33:23,434 --> 00:33:24,845
Ooh, I got into cockfighting.
549
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:27,643
- Oh, cockfighting. That sounds wonderful.
CHOW: - Yes.
550
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:29,978
Basically, been killing it down here.
551
00:33:30,408 --> 00:33:33,878
That is just terrific. Right?
552
00:33:34,045 --> 00:33:36,958
I mean, that's terrific.
I think that calls for a toast.
553
00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:38,355
I like that.
554
00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:40,325
- To killing it.
- Killing it.
555
00:33:40,485 --> 00:33:42,590
Yeah, to killing it.
556
00:33:43,554 --> 00:33:44,692
Mm.
557
00:33:52,230 --> 00:33:53,675
You okay, Chow?
558
00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,943
I don't know. You tell me.
559
00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:57,943
(CHUCKLES)
560
00:33:59,804 --> 00:34:02,250
So how many rooster birds do you have,
Chow?
561
00:34:05,410 --> 00:34:07,356
- Aah!
- Huh?
562
00:34:08,446 --> 00:34:11,120
- Shh. Act cool or I open his vein.
- Oh, my God.
563
00:34:11,516 --> 00:34:13,120
Why you wanna drug poor Chow?
564
00:34:13,284 --> 00:34:16,458
No, no. It's not what you think.
There's this guy Marshall.
565
00:34:16,621 --> 00:34:18,760
Marshall? How you know that fat fuck?
566
00:34:18,923 --> 00:34:22,803
He says you took his gold. He's got Doug.
He'll kill him unless we bring you back.
567
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:26,237
It's true! I swear to God, it's true!
568
00:34:26,864 --> 00:34:29,071
Chow. Chow, that's the truth.
569
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,846
Goddamn it!
570
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,119
That motherfucker.
571
00:34:37,275 --> 00:34:39,084
Stu, you okay?
572
00:34:39,243 --> 00:34:40,722
- You all right?
- No.
573
00:34:41,279 --> 00:34:42,724
PHIL: We're sorry, Chow.
574
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,655
We're sorry.
575
00:34:44,816 --> 00:34:47,797
- We didn't know what else to do.
- Next time, don't lie to Chow.
576
00:34:47,952 --> 00:34:51,399
You're right. You are so right,
and we made a huge mistake.
577
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:56,564
So, what do we do now?
578
00:34:56,828 --> 00:34:58,068
CHOW: That depends.
579
00:34:59,530 --> 00:35:01,009
Can I trust you?
580
00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:08,341
What is this place, Chow?
581
00:35:08,506 --> 00:35:10,008
CHOW: My house.
582
00:35:10,875 --> 00:35:13,116
Chow used to be on top of the world.
583
00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:16,884
Had three beautiful homes
in three different countries.
584
00:35:17,515 --> 00:35:20,257
But this one, my Mexican villa...
585
00:35:20,985 --> 00:35:22,692
...this was my favorite.
586
00:35:23,554 --> 00:35:25,295
And everything got fucked.
587
00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:29,233
Chow go to prison, all my property seized.
588
00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:31,066
My homes...
589
00:35:31,229 --> 00:35:33,436
...sold at auction to highest bidders.
590
00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:37,209
But I know something no one else knows.
591
00:35:37,435 --> 00:35:40,041
This house is where I stashed the gold.
592
00:35:40,938 --> 00:35:42,918
- Marshall's gold?
- Yep.
593
00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:45,152
Hid it inside the basement wall.
594
00:35:46,944 --> 00:35:48,890
No one knows it's there.
595
00:35:49,380 --> 00:35:51,018
We're gonna go get it.
596
00:35:51,616 --> 00:35:54,222
Wait. You mean break in?
597
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,126
Look, Marshall wants his gold.
598
00:35:58,289 --> 00:36:00,997
And he's gonna hunt me down
until he gets it.
599
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:03,036
If we show up without it, he'll kill me.
600
00:36:03,194 --> 00:36:05,174
We're not breaking in anywhere.
601
00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:08,469
Not anywhere, Stu. My house.
602
00:36:08,633 --> 00:36:10,476
It's piece of cake.
603
00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:12,478
I know every square inch of this place.
604
00:36:13,905 --> 00:36:18,684
The best part, the guy we're stealing
it from doesn't even know it's there.
605
00:36:19,043 --> 00:36:21,080
So he'll never know it's gone.
606
00:36:25,750 --> 00:36:27,491
You guys know what's going on, right?
607
00:36:28,152 --> 00:36:29,324
What do you mean?
608
00:36:29,487 --> 00:36:33,060
Well, and please correct me if I'm wrong,
we're not breaking into this house.
609
00:36:33,958 --> 00:36:35,631
This house is too small.
610
00:36:35,793 --> 00:36:38,706
We're breaking into another house.
This is just a model, right?
611
00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:40,501
What? Alan, no!
612
00:36:41,299 --> 00:36:42,676
My chickens!
613
00:36:42,833 --> 00:36:44,113
(PHIL GRUNTING
AND STU SCREAMING)
614
00:36:44,268 --> 00:36:45,542
Oh, shit!
615
00:36:45,703 --> 00:36:46,743
PHIL: Chow, what the fuck?
616
00:36:46,904 --> 00:36:50,545
CHOW: Watch out for the claws!
They're trained to kill!
617
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:52,915
His beak is so sharp!
618
00:36:53,077 --> 00:36:54,112
Ow! Ow!
619
00:36:54,278 --> 00:36:55,450
(GUNSHOT)
620
00:36:55,613 --> 00:36:58,093
- Oh, fuck!
- Stay still, I'm trying to help.
621
00:36:58,249 --> 00:36:59,922
- Don't!
STU: - Get it off!
622
00:37:02,453 --> 00:37:05,366
- Fucking bull's-eye!
- Are you out of your mind?
623
00:37:05,523 --> 00:37:07,799
Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it!
624
00:37:10,494 --> 00:37:11,939
PHIL: Stu, the window!
625
00:37:14,799 --> 00:37:15,971
- Get it out!
- Okay, okay!
626
00:37:16,133 --> 00:37:17,544
Get it out!
627
00:37:21,372 --> 00:37:22,976
CHOW: Shh, shh, shh.
628
00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:26,712
Don't struggle. Let go.
629
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,751
You won a lot of fights, Wallace.
630
00:37:33,851 --> 00:37:34,955
Not this time.
631
00:37:37,188 --> 00:37:40,795
(GRUNTING)
632
00:37:44,495 --> 00:37:48,443
- What the fuck is wrong with those chickens?
- They're angry.
633
00:37:48,599 --> 00:37:50,476
All I feed them is cocaine.
634
00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:52,971
And chicken.
635
00:37:53,304 --> 00:37:55,181
(CHOW LAUGHS)
636
00:37:58,876 --> 00:38:00,253
PHIL: That's some house, Chow.
637
00:38:00,411 --> 00:38:04,188
CHOW: It was my Shangri-La. Now it's gone.
638
00:38:05,082 --> 00:38:09,497
Could you not spit inside my minivan,
please? Jesus.
639
00:38:10,021 --> 00:38:11,193
Who lives there now?
640
00:38:11,355 --> 00:38:13,995
CHOW: Some dot-com millionaire.
He's never here.
641
00:38:14,158 --> 00:38:15,728
This is a vacation home.
642
00:38:15,893 --> 00:38:17,668
The help doesn't show up on Sundays.
643
00:38:18,162 --> 00:38:20,335
No one there but the guard dogs. Stu?
644
00:38:20,498 --> 00:38:24,310
We'll toss these burgers over the gate,
wait for the Demerol to kick in.
645
00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:26,914
Make sure you put in enough to kill them.
646
00:38:27,071 --> 00:38:29,108
We're not gonna kill the dogs, Chow.
647
00:38:29,273 --> 00:38:30,946
This will knock them out for hours.
648
00:38:31,108 --> 00:38:33,384
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know you worked for PETA.
649
00:38:33,544 --> 00:38:35,649
- What a pussy.
- Ha-ha-ha.
650
00:38:39,650 --> 00:38:41,652
(BARKING)
651
00:39:07,244 --> 00:39:08,780
Alan, take that.
652
00:39:10,047 --> 00:39:11,082
Aah!
653
00:39:11,248 --> 00:39:13,159
(GRUNTING)
654
00:39:14,151 --> 00:39:15,755
- Where are you going?
- You'll see.
655
00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:17,498
Pardon me, little loser.
656
00:39:18,022 --> 00:39:21,094
Excuse me, fucking asshole.
657
00:39:22,426 --> 00:39:23,734
Follow me.
658
00:39:25,830 --> 00:39:29,039
CHOW: Okay, here's the deal:
two security panels inside.
659
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,874
If you cut only one wire,
it triggers alarm.
660
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:34,073
Place will be crawling with cops.
661
00:39:34,238 --> 00:39:37,685
But if you cut wire on both panels
at same time, alarm disabled.
662
00:39:37,842 --> 00:39:40,914
Yeah, but how are we gonna get inside
without tripping the alarm?
663
00:39:41,078 --> 00:39:42,785
Check this out.
664
00:39:43,681 --> 00:39:45,058
(CHOW CHUCKLES)
665
00:39:45,249 --> 00:39:47,388
- Any more stupid questions?
PHIL: - Whoa.
666
00:39:47,551 --> 00:39:49,121
Now, who's coming with me?
667
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:50,624
I'll do it.
668
00:39:51,188 --> 00:39:52,223
You wanna tell him?
669
00:39:53,524 --> 00:39:54,559
Oh, um...
670
00:39:56,961 --> 00:39:58,804
Alan, you're just too fat.
671
00:39:59,497 --> 00:40:00,840
Roger that.
672
00:40:16,614 --> 00:40:18,184
Ow. Ahh.
673
00:40:18,349 --> 00:40:20,226
CHOW: You kicked me, you motherfucker.
674
00:40:23,788 --> 00:40:26,325
No, no, no. Don't get up.
Will trip motion detectors.
675
00:40:26,490 --> 00:40:27,696
Stay low like dog.
676
00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:29,804
Okay. Good idea.
677
00:40:30,361 --> 00:40:32,864
- Which way?
- In there. The kitchen.
678
00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:36,836
Aah! What the fuck is that?
679
00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:40,312
Ha, ha.
I'm saying hello. We're dogs, remember?
680
00:40:40,738 --> 00:40:41,773
(CHOW LAUGHS)
681
00:40:48,212 --> 00:40:49,350
Hey, Stu?
682
00:40:49,513 --> 00:40:50,924
Check it out.
683
00:40:52,516 --> 00:40:54,996
Oh, my God! So gross!
684
00:40:55,152 --> 00:40:56,529
(RETCHES)
685
00:40:56,687 --> 00:40:58,291
(LAUGHING)
686
00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:00,959
God! Chow, cut it out!
687
00:41:14,338 --> 00:41:16,318
Okay, I'm here.
688
00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:17,953
Now what?
689
00:41:18,108 --> 00:41:20,384
Pull the cover off so
you can see the wires.
690
00:41:20,544 --> 00:41:21,579
Okay.
691
00:41:24,648 --> 00:41:27,219
Okay. Done!
692
00:41:27,384 --> 00:41:30,263
CHOW: Okay, on three, cut the gray wire.
693
00:41:30,421 --> 00:41:32,401
One, two...
694
00:41:32,556 --> 00:41:33,694
STU: Wait. Wait, wait, wait!
695
00:41:33,858 --> 00:41:36,464
I don't have a gray wire.
I have red, green and yellow.
696
00:41:36,627 --> 00:41:40,507
That's weird. I have light gray,
medium gray, dark gray.
697
00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:42,337
You do?
698
00:41:42,733 --> 00:41:44,007
Motherfucker.
699
00:41:44,368 --> 00:41:46,644
My bad. I'm colorblind.
700
00:41:46,804 --> 00:41:47,839
You're what?
701
00:41:48,005 --> 00:41:50,144
CHOW: Fuck it, just cut the middle one.
702
00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:53,621
No, my middle one could be different.
The wires are all twisted.
703
00:41:53,777 --> 00:41:56,690
CHOW: - On three. One, two...
- Chow, stop!
704
00:41:57,448 --> 00:41:58,552
God.
705
00:41:59,116 --> 00:42:01,153
Hold on, I'm coming to you.
706
00:42:02,453 --> 00:42:04,126
What the fuck's taking them so long?
707
00:42:04,288 --> 00:42:06,894
Where'd you get that
shirt, the Diesel store?
708
00:42:08,959 --> 00:42:10,199
Phil.
709
00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:11,840
What?
710
00:42:12,496 --> 00:42:14,999
It's a cute top. Where
did you get that shirt?
711
00:42:19,169 --> 00:42:20,409
CHOW: What's the problem?
712
00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:25,282
Just point to the wire you want me to cut.
713
00:42:25,442 --> 00:42:27,683
- This gray one right here.
- Great.
714
00:42:27,845 --> 00:42:29,791
For your information, that's green.
715
00:42:30,114 --> 00:42:31,616
Ooh, tsk, tsk, tsk.
716
00:42:31,782 --> 00:42:32,852
Which one's red?
717
00:42:33,017 --> 00:42:35,122
The one in your left hand.
718
00:42:35,286 --> 00:42:40,099
- Wait, which hand is that? I'm also dyslexic.
- What the fuck?
719
00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:44,365
- Where'd you get it?
- I don't know. I'll find out, I'll get you one.
720
00:42:44,528 --> 00:42:48,806
There's a cool Diesel store in the mall that I
like to go to. Right next to the food court.
721
00:42:48,966 --> 00:42:50,946
I don't know if it's Diesel.
722
00:42:51,468 --> 00:42:53,277
Looks like a Diesel.
723
00:42:55,773 --> 00:42:57,047
What's the matter with you?
724
00:42:57,207 --> 00:42:59,881
Okay, you're still holding
the one I left you with, right?
725
00:43:00,044 --> 00:43:01,318
CHOW: Pretty much. Heh, heh.
726
00:43:01,478 --> 00:43:03,082
STU: Oh, fuck.
727
00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:05,158
All right. On three!
728
00:43:06,317 --> 00:43:07,455
One...
729
00:43:08,252 --> 00:43:09,356
...two...
730
00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:11,392
...three.
731
00:43:14,992 --> 00:43:16,835
(SIGHS)
732
00:43:17,328 --> 00:43:19,467
CHOW: Holy shit, it worked.
733
00:43:23,667 --> 00:43:24,771
All good?
734
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:27,378
- Easy peasy.
PHIL: - All right.
735
00:43:27,538 --> 00:43:28,710
You have no idea.
736
00:43:28,872 --> 00:43:29,976
Come on.
737
00:43:31,275 --> 00:43:32,948
Whoops.
738
00:43:33,711 --> 00:43:35,657
- Jesus, be careful, Chow.
- Ha, ha.
739
00:43:35,813 --> 00:43:37,520
Fuck this guy.
740
00:43:37,681 --> 00:43:40,753
Living in my house. Living my life.
741
00:43:40,918 --> 00:43:42,591
Can we just stick to the plan?
742
00:43:42,753 --> 00:43:43,788
Fine.
743
00:43:44,922 --> 00:43:47,061
Ha, ha. Ruined.
744
00:43:48,692 --> 00:43:50,433
He is completely out of control.
745
00:43:50,594 --> 00:43:52,505
Let's just get this done.
746
00:43:57,034 --> 00:43:59,605
This way. Come on, come on.
747
00:44:07,277 --> 00:44:09,052
It's buried behind this wall.
748
00:44:09,513 --> 00:44:12,119
- Alan.
- Here you go, boss.
749
00:44:17,354 --> 00:44:18,560
Aah!
750
00:44:19,256 --> 00:44:20,291
Fuck!
751
00:44:20,457 --> 00:44:22,596
- You okay?
CHOW: - Yeah, I'm okay.
752
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,433
Just warming up.
753
00:44:24,595 --> 00:44:27,405
It's so heavy. Do we have a lighter one?
754
00:44:27,564 --> 00:44:31,535
- Why don't you just let me do it, Chow?
- Okay. Either way, you or me. Same thing.
755
00:44:43,247 --> 00:44:45,693
You might wanna take your shirt off.
Makes it easier.
756
00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:48,853
- What?
- I've heard that too.
757
00:45:15,846 --> 00:45:20,556
(PANTING)
758
00:45:25,155 --> 00:45:29,228
See that? Chow come back for you.
759
00:45:47,144 --> 00:45:48,316
PHIL: That's the last of it.
760
00:45:48,979 --> 00:45:50,481
You sure?
761
00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:53,956
- Yeah.
- You triple sure?
762
00:45:54,985 --> 00:45:58,660
- Yes!
- Good! Heh-heh-heh.
763
00:46:00,190 --> 00:46:01,396
Chow?
764
00:46:07,698 --> 00:46:08,938
Chow?
765
00:46:09,666 --> 00:46:10,736
Chow!
766
00:46:12,169 --> 00:46:13,580
Chow!
767
00:46:15,139 --> 00:46:16,413
Chow!
768
00:46:16,573 --> 00:46:18,018
Chow!
769
00:46:27,351 --> 00:46:30,161
Chow, open this fucking door right now!
770
00:46:45,235 --> 00:46:46,805
PHIL: Chow!
771
00:46:47,404 --> 00:46:50,977
(ALARM BLARING)
772
00:47:06,957 --> 00:47:08,561
OFFICER: Stuart Price.
773
00:47:08,992 --> 00:47:11,495
No felonies. One arrest:
774
00:47:11,662 --> 00:47:12,697
Las Vegas, Nevada.
775
00:47:15,065 --> 00:47:16,169
Phil Wenneck.
776
00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:18,244
No felonies. One arrest:
777
00:47:18,569 --> 00:47:20,879
Also Las Vegas, Nevada.
778
00:47:24,608 --> 00:47:26,315
Alan Garner.
779
00:47:31,415 --> 00:47:32,985
Is this record accurate?
780
00:47:38,455 --> 00:47:39,900
Uh-huh.
781
00:47:40,958 --> 00:47:42,699
I did that. Mm-hm.
782
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,339
Yeah.
783
00:47:45,295 --> 00:47:48,674
Masturbating on a city bus.
Yep, that was me.
784
00:47:48,832 --> 00:47:50,709
Look, we've been here for 5 hours.
785
00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:52,779
We already told your guys everything.
786
00:47:52,936 --> 00:47:54,006
No.
787
00:47:54,171 --> 00:47:56,742
You told them a story
about a little Chinese man.
788
00:47:56,907 --> 00:47:59,513
Leslie Chow. He's an international
criminal. Look it up.
789
00:47:59,676 --> 00:48:02,555
A little Chinese man that no one in town
has seen or heard of.
790
00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:05,193
The hotel where you say he's staying?
No one there.
791
00:48:05,349 --> 00:48:07,386
Probably because he left town.
792
00:48:08,051 --> 00:48:09,496
That's one theory.
793
00:48:09,653 --> 00:48:11,394
Another theory is that you're lying.
794
00:48:11,755 --> 00:48:14,258
(ALAN LAUGHING)
795
00:48:14,458 --> 00:48:17,803
"Lewd behavior, Cracker Barrel,
Christmas Eve."
796
00:48:21,632 --> 00:48:25,239
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
797
00:48:26,103 --> 00:48:27,241
Excuse me.
798
00:48:33,277 --> 00:48:35,154
We're fucking dead.
799
00:48:36,046 --> 00:48:38,856
Why would Mr. Chow do this?
800
00:48:39,683 --> 00:48:42,823
Because he's a greedy piece of shit
who used us.
801
00:48:43,787 --> 00:48:45,960
- Yeah, but he's our friend.
- Oh.
802
00:48:46,123 --> 00:48:47,625
Grow up, Alan.
803
00:48:51,261 --> 00:48:52,433
You're free to leave.
804
00:48:52,596 --> 00:48:54,872
All the charges have been dropped.
805
00:48:55,532 --> 00:48:56,670
By who?
806
00:48:56,833 --> 00:48:58,312
OFFICER: It's your lucky day.
807
00:48:58,468 --> 00:49:00,505
There's a car waiting for you out front.
808
00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:03,440
Come on, let's go.
809
00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:09,219
PHIL: Oh, Jesus.
810
00:49:11,882 --> 00:49:13,020
What?
811
00:49:16,420 --> 00:49:17,831
I'm sorry.
812
00:49:19,222 --> 00:49:20,257
What is this?
813
00:49:21,325 --> 00:49:22,633
Get in the car.
814
00:49:32,936 --> 00:49:34,347
PHIL: Excuse me, sir?
815
00:49:34,771 --> 00:49:35,806
Where we headed?
816
00:49:38,976 --> 00:49:40,319
(DOORS LOCK)
817
00:50:04,134 --> 00:50:05,670
Welcome back.
818
00:50:15,979 --> 00:50:18,960
- What the fuck?
- Let's go, guys.
819
00:50:24,054 --> 00:50:25,863
Out to the back.
820
00:50:37,100 --> 00:50:39,273
- Doug?
- Guys. Careful.
821
00:50:39,436 --> 00:50:41,074
Get your ass back over here.
822
00:50:41,238 --> 00:50:43,184
Leslie Chow never lived here.
823
00:50:44,941 --> 00:50:47,478
You didn't break into his old house.
824
00:50:47,978 --> 00:50:49,616
You broke into my house.
825
00:50:50,947 --> 00:50:52,017
I don't understand.
826
00:50:52,482 --> 00:50:56,020
You didn't get back the gold
he stole from me.
827
00:50:57,621 --> 00:50:59,897
You got the other half that he didn't.
828
00:51:00,057 --> 00:51:01,832
Oh. my God!
829
00:51:01,992 --> 00:51:04,370
What, you mean the half he never had?
830
00:51:04,528 --> 00:51:07,475
He's a world-class rat,
and you three were his accomplices.
831
00:51:07,631 --> 00:51:08,701
- No!
- We had no idea.
832
00:51:08,865 --> 00:51:11,471
We were trying to help you.
We thought you'd be happy!
833
00:51:11,635 --> 00:51:13,581
Thank you so much.
834
00:51:13,737 --> 00:51:16,274
Thank you for ripping me off.
835
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,317
Thank you for desecrating my home!
836
00:51:18,475 --> 00:51:21,319
And thank you for killing my fucking dogs!
837
00:51:21,478 --> 00:51:23,890
We didn't kill your dogs.
They're just tranquilized.
838
00:51:24,214 --> 00:51:27,024
Oh, right.
839
00:51:27,584 --> 00:51:28,756
You don't know.
840
00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:31,900
- Chow snapped their necks on his way out.
- What?
841
00:51:32,055 --> 00:51:34,763
And somebody's gotta pay.
842
00:51:34,958 --> 00:51:37,268
- He's right.
- No, no, no! Aah!
843
00:51:37,427 --> 00:51:39,065
(ALL SCREAMING)
844
00:51:40,597 --> 00:51:45,103
(ALAN WAILING)
845
00:51:45,569 --> 00:51:47,742
My head of security.
846
00:51:47,904 --> 00:51:52,011
Couldn't stop three fuckups and a Chinaman
with a pair of wire cutters.
847
00:51:52,609 --> 00:51:53,644
Unreal.
848
00:51:58,115 --> 00:51:59,685
Aw. Man.
849
00:52:00,350 --> 00:52:02,489
That's okay. I know it's scary.
850
00:52:02,652 --> 00:52:06,156
Hector. Run upstairs and grab a pair
of sweatpants for Alan here.
851
00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:08,133
I'm a 44 slim.
852
00:52:08,725 --> 00:52:10,864
Can you bring me a few options?
853
00:52:11,895 --> 00:52:14,876
You found Chow once. Find him again.
854
00:52:15,031 --> 00:52:16,305
And my gold.
855
00:52:17,367 --> 00:52:18,471
Wait.
856
00:52:18,635 --> 00:52:21,844
We don't even have a car.
Chow stole my minivan.
857
00:52:22,005 --> 00:52:24,645
Take the limo. Hector has the keys.
858
00:52:24,808 --> 00:52:26,549
And get going.
859
00:52:27,244 --> 00:52:29,281
I'm killing Dougs today.
860
00:52:36,186 --> 00:52:38,530
- I never saw anyone get killed before.
- Right?
861
00:52:38,688 --> 00:52:40,725
My God, that was so intense.
862
00:52:40,891 --> 00:52:43,770
I mean, he just fell and then he's dead.
863
00:52:43,927 --> 00:52:45,099
I feel sick.
864
00:52:45,262 --> 00:52:46,536
Me too.
865
00:52:46,763 --> 00:52:49,437
Well, maybe we should get some food, guys.
866
00:52:52,736 --> 00:52:55,478
What are we gonna do?
We have no idea where Chow is.
867
00:52:55,639 --> 00:52:57,312
I don't know.
868
00:52:57,474 --> 00:52:59,852
He took your minivan.
We could report it stolen...
869
00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:01,853
...and then they could track him down?
870
00:53:02,445 --> 00:53:03,981
It's worth a shot.
871
00:53:05,982 --> 00:53:07,620
Oh, fuck!
872
00:53:07,784 --> 00:53:09,320
I left my phone in the minivan.
873
00:53:09,853 --> 00:53:12,925
Well, if you lost your phone, Phil,
I have that Find My Phone app.
874
00:53:13,089 --> 00:53:15,091
We have bigger problems than that, Alan.
875
00:53:15,258 --> 00:53:17,795
No, wait, wait, wait.
If your phone's in the minivan...
876
00:53:17,961 --> 00:53:20,601
...and Chow has the minivan,
then your phone's with Chow!
877
00:53:20,764 --> 00:53:23,540
You heard him.
We have bigger problems than that, Stu.
878
00:53:23,700 --> 00:53:25,680
Alan, give me your phone. Quick.
879
00:53:25,869 --> 00:53:27,746
- That's brilliant.
- Yes.
880
00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:29,984
- Wait, what's your password?
- "Hey Phil."
881
00:53:30,140 --> 00:53:31,380
- Yeah?
- No, that's it.
882
00:53:31,541 --> 00:53:32,781
- What?
- That's my password.
883
00:53:32,943 --> 00:53:34,115
"Hey Phil."
884
00:53:36,646 --> 00:53:37,886
It is it.
885
00:53:39,282 --> 00:53:40,590
Phil gets it.
886
00:53:40,750 --> 00:53:43,424
Nothing worse than losing your phone.
887
00:53:44,154 --> 00:53:47,328
You just saw a man get murdered.
Your brother-in-law is kidnapped.
888
00:53:47,490 --> 00:53:48,969
You sure there's nothing worse?
889
00:53:49,326 --> 00:53:50,930
You don't get it, Stu.
890
00:53:51,094 --> 00:53:54,803
You just don't get it, do you?
891
00:53:54,965 --> 00:53:57,741
I have over 60 apps on that phone.
892
00:53:57,901 --> 00:53:59,676
What if I lost my phone?
893
00:53:59,836 --> 00:54:03,374
Do you have any idea how much time
and man-hours it would take...
894
00:54:03,540 --> 00:54:05,247
...to re-download those apps?
895
00:54:06,509 --> 00:54:09,513
You are right.
I had not thought of that. Thank you.
896
00:54:09,679 --> 00:54:11,818
Oh, God, it's not always about you, Stu!
897
00:54:12,182 --> 00:54:13,889
It's locating.
898
00:54:16,453 --> 00:54:18,831
- Oh, God, of course.
- What?
899
00:54:19,322 --> 00:54:20,630
Where is he?
900
00:54:22,792 --> 00:54:24,328
He's in fucking Vegas.
901
00:54:24,494 --> 00:54:26,974
- Shotgun.
- Oh.
902
00:54:29,499 --> 00:54:31,479
Oh, no.
903
00:54:32,068 --> 00:54:33,672
Hey, Stu?
904
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,719
I don't enjoy talking to you that way.
905
00:54:39,876 --> 00:54:43,289
I don't know why you insist
on making me blow my top.
906
00:54:43,647 --> 00:54:46,127
We've been on a lot of
adventures together...
907
00:54:46,283 --> 00:54:48,661
...but it seems like you haven't
learned anything.
908
00:54:48,818 --> 00:54:50,195
Anything!
909
00:54:51,488 --> 00:54:52,626
You think on it.
910
00:54:53,690 --> 00:54:55,431
I'll be in the limo.
911
00:54:57,394 --> 00:54:58,998
He's okay.
912
00:55:37,934 --> 00:55:42,007
Someone needs to burn this place
to the ground.
913
00:55:43,940 --> 00:55:46,944
I told myself I would never come back.
914
00:55:48,078 --> 00:55:49,785
Well, don't worry.
915
00:55:49,946 --> 00:55:51,983
It all ends tonight.
916
00:55:59,622 --> 00:56:02,603
It says 200 yards up on the right.
917
00:56:04,094 --> 00:56:06,199
And there it is.
918
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:07,740
Amazing.
919
00:56:18,975 --> 00:56:20,784
Looks like he ditched it.
920
00:56:23,747 --> 00:56:25,488
- It's open.
- No shit.
921
00:56:25,648 --> 00:56:27,252
Well, look around.
922
00:56:27,417 --> 00:56:29,658
Let's see if he left anything in here.
923
00:56:32,255 --> 00:56:35,065
- I found the Demerol.
- Good. Keep it, we're gonna need it.
924
00:56:35,225 --> 00:56:38,638
I got my phone. No fucking keys, though.
925
00:56:38,795 --> 00:56:41,935
- Alan, anything?
- No, not even the gold.
926
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:47,441
- Why the fuck would Chow come down here?
- I know, right?
927
00:56:48,071 --> 00:56:49,141
Why here?
928
00:56:51,107 --> 00:56:53,883
ANNOUNCER (ON TV): You can't match
the pure strength and power...
929
00:56:54,043 --> 00:56:55,579
...of John Cena!
930
00:56:56,146 --> 00:56:58,148
- Cena puts Punk down!
CASSIE: - Oh! Ha, ha.
931
00:56:58,314 --> 00:56:59,725
Nice!
932
00:57:02,619 --> 00:57:04,895
Excuse me.
Have you happened to see the driver...
933
00:57:05,054 --> 00:57:07,591
...of that minivan that's out front?
Short Asian guy?
934
00:57:07,757 --> 00:57:09,065
Yeah, they're all short.
935
00:57:09,225 --> 00:57:11,831
Ha, ha. That's so true.
936
00:57:11,995 --> 00:57:15,943
Right, but he may have been trying
to pawn some gold.
937
00:57:16,299 --> 00:57:18,142
That would be my business, wouldn't it?
938
00:57:19,669 --> 00:57:21,376
ALAN: I like your T-shirt.
939
00:57:24,741 --> 00:57:26,914
I saw that show at the Forum.
940
00:57:27,644 --> 00:57:29,487
He played "Captain Jack."
941
00:57:30,413 --> 00:57:32,256
Yeah, I heard that was legendary.
942
00:57:32,415 --> 00:57:33,860
Woman...
943
00:57:34,017 --> 00:57:35,690
...you have no idea.
944
00:57:35,852 --> 00:57:37,388
Try me.
945
00:57:40,723 --> 00:57:44,364
Cassie, I'm hungry.
I thought you ordered Chinese.
946
00:57:44,928 --> 00:57:46,373
Mom, I'm with a customer!
947
00:57:46,529 --> 00:57:49,339
- You'll eat when I say it's time to eat!
- But the doctor...
948
00:57:49,499 --> 00:57:52,378
If you don't reverse that right now,
there's gonna be hell to pay.
949
00:57:52,535 --> 00:57:53,809
(LAUGHS)
950
00:57:56,072 --> 00:57:58,018
(ALAN CONTINUES LAUGHING)
951
00:57:58,174 --> 00:57:59,380
She's rude.
952
00:57:59,542 --> 00:58:00,885
Thank you.
953
00:58:01,044 --> 00:58:03,251
Yeah, you hear that, Ma? Nobody likes you!
954
00:58:03,413 --> 00:58:04,687
Yeah, keep your mouth shut!
955
00:58:04,848 --> 00:58:06,384
Whoa.
956
00:58:08,384 --> 00:58:09,829
You're smart.
957
00:58:18,194 --> 00:58:20,572
A Chinese guy came in here earlier.
958
00:58:20,730 --> 00:58:22,403
It was pretty weird.
959
00:58:22,565 --> 00:58:24,408
He pawned a gold brick.
960
00:58:24,567 --> 00:58:27,070
The thing's worth 400 grand,
he took 18,000.
961
00:58:27,237 --> 00:58:31,447
- Did he say where he was going?
- I'm sorry, was I talking to you?
962
00:58:37,413 --> 00:58:38,949
He said he wanted three things:
963
00:58:39,115 --> 00:58:42,119
He wanted some girls,
some guys and some bath salts.
964
00:58:42,285 --> 00:58:46,028
I gave him a card for an escort service
and he took off.
965
00:58:48,725 --> 00:58:52,730
Pretty high-end,
so good luck getting anything out of them.
966
00:58:53,096 --> 00:58:54,769
Thank you.
967
00:59:32,068 --> 00:59:33,604
(RETCHES)
968
00:59:49,452 --> 00:59:50,988
We gotta go. We should go.
969
00:59:51,154 --> 00:59:52,861
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
970
01:00:22,185 --> 01:00:24,187
I'll get it, I'll get it. I'll get it.
971
01:00:40,703 --> 01:00:41,738
Anything?
972
01:00:41,904 --> 01:00:43,383
No, I'm still on hold.
973
01:00:46,109 --> 01:00:48,385
Oh, look how happy this fucking guy is.
974
01:00:48,544 --> 01:00:52,253
Have you ever witnessed a moment
with that much heat?
975
01:00:52,415 --> 01:00:54,486
I mean, white-hot heat, bro!
976
01:00:55,218 --> 01:00:56,458
No, it was pretty intense.
977
01:00:56,619 --> 01:00:57,723
Yeah!
978
01:00:58,621 --> 01:01:00,259
STU: Yeah, it's actually an emergency.
979
01:01:00,423 --> 01:01:02,869
He has a thick Asian accent.
980
01:01:03,893 --> 01:01:05,395
I totally get it...
981
01:01:05,561 --> 01:01:08,440
...but this is a highly
unusual circumstance and...
982
01:01:09,699 --> 01:01:11,610
Okay. All right.
983
01:01:12,535 --> 01:01:13,605
It's an escort service.
984
01:01:13,770 --> 01:01:15,545
They're not gonna tell us shit.
985
01:01:20,843 --> 01:01:22,447
Maybe an escort would.
986
01:01:26,182 --> 01:01:29,391
- You still have her number?
- Yeah, but...
987
01:01:29,552 --> 01:01:31,225
...it'd be pretty awkward.
988
01:01:32,055 --> 01:01:33,864
It's all we got.
989
01:01:34,023 --> 01:01:37,368
She smiled at me again,
from inside the shop.
990
01:01:38,928 --> 01:01:42,205
Ha, ha. This is the best day of my life.
991
01:01:42,832 --> 01:01:43,867
(DOORBELL RINGS)
992
01:01:44,033 --> 01:01:45,341
ALL: Hey!
993
01:01:45,501 --> 01:01:47,344
Oh, my God, you guys.
994
01:01:47,503 --> 01:01:49,744
It's been so long.
995
01:01:49,939 --> 01:01:51,612
- Come in, come in.
- Thank you.
996
01:01:51,774 --> 01:01:54,550
- You look great.
- So do you! You're pregnant.
997
01:01:54,911 --> 01:01:56,015
I feel so fat.
998
01:01:56,179 --> 01:01:57,214
Oh, please.
999
01:01:57,380 --> 01:02:00,020
Do you guys mind taking your shoes off?
I'm a germ freak.
1000
01:02:00,183 --> 01:02:01,526
- Yeah, sure.
- Of course.
1001
01:02:06,089 --> 01:02:07,124
Alan.
1002
01:02:07,290 --> 01:02:09,327
Alan, what are you doing?
1003
01:02:10,259 --> 01:02:11,431
ALAN: Sorry.
1004
01:02:12,261 --> 01:02:14,537
- Wow, you have a great house.
JADE: - Thank you.
1005
01:02:14,697 --> 01:02:16,973
I got married a year ago to a surgeon.
1006
01:02:17,133 --> 01:02:19,704
- Another doctor, can you believe it?
- Another doctor.
1007
01:02:19,902 --> 01:02:21,882
His name's Jeff. You guys would love him.
1008
01:02:22,505 --> 01:02:24,280
Tyler, say hi to Mommy's friends.
1009
01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:25,776
Hi.
1010
01:02:25,942 --> 01:02:27,114
- Hey.
- Hey.
1011
01:02:27,810 --> 01:02:30,017
Wait, is that the baby?
1012
01:02:30,179 --> 01:02:31,522
JADE: Yeah, time flies, huh?
1013
01:02:31,714 --> 01:02:32,784
STU: Wow.
1014
01:02:32,949 --> 01:02:36,294
Jade is there a place we could talk
that's a little bit more private?
1015
01:02:36,452 --> 01:02:38,557
Let's go in the kitchen.
You guys want coffee?
1016
01:02:38,721 --> 01:02:39,859
Perfect.
1017
01:02:43,292 --> 01:02:44,999
Hey. you coming?
1018
01:02:45,161 --> 01:02:47,471
Is it okay if I go say
hello to the little guy?
1019
01:02:47,630 --> 01:02:49,234
Of course.
1020
01:03:10,286 --> 01:03:11,321
Nice stuff.
1021
01:03:11,888 --> 01:03:14,300
Thanks. Jeff bought it for me.
1022
01:03:15,258 --> 01:03:17,465
Jeff. Who's that, your fake dad?
1023
01:03:23,466 --> 01:03:24,809
Your name was Carlos once.
1024
01:03:24,967 --> 01:03:26,503
Did you know that?
1025
01:03:26,669 --> 01:03:27,841
No.
1026
01:03:28,004 --> 01:03:29,483
Well, it was.
1027
01:03:29,672 --> 01:03:32,118
And, frankly, it suits you better.
1028
01:03:32,275 --> 01:03:33,379
Okay.
1029
01:03:39,282 --> 01:03:41,091
Do you remember me?
1030
01:03:42,051 --> 01:03:43,530
No.
1031
01:03:49,092 --> 01:03:51,572
Are you my real dad?
1032
01:03:58,635 --> 01:03:59,841
Yes.
1033
01:04:00,003 --> 01:04:03,917
I don't know. You gotta understand, I've
been out of that world a few years now.
1034
01:04:04,074 --> 01:04:06,486
Yeah, of course. We totally get that.
1035
01:04:06,643 --> 01:04:09,487
I mean, Jeff knows everything
and he's cool, but...
1036
01:04:09,646 --> 01:04:11,717
We're just asking if you can call around...
1037
01:04:11,882 --> 01:04:14,226
...just find out if anybody
might know where he is.
1038
01:04:15,586 --> 01:04:18,123
We could really use your help.
1039
01:04:19,223 --> 01:04:22,067
You used to love it
when I would carry you around.
1040
01:04:22,226 --> 01:04:25,139
Sometimes I can still feel your little head
on my chest.
1041
01:04:29,266 --> 01:04:31,405
So do you like this new Jeff guy?
1042
01:04:31,802 --> 01:04:33,509
Yeah, he's nice.
1043
01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:36,549
My dad was nice too.
We did everything together.
1044
01:04:37,541 --> 01:04:39,680
He was my life partner, heh.
1045
01:04:45,148 --> 01:04:46,923
I really let him down.
1046
01:04:49,086 --> 01:04:51,088
Okay. Wow.
1047
01:04:53,457 --> 01:04:57,166
Just trust me, you don't want to go
over there, okay? Not this one.
1048
01:04:57,327 --> 01:04:58,829
I love you too.
1049
01:04:59,796 --> 01:05:01,776
She says there's this crazy Chinese guy...
1050
01:05:01,932 --> 01:05:04,811
...and he's holed up in the penthouse suite
of Caesars Palace.
1051
01:05:04,968 --> 01:05:07,676
There's girls going in and out,
drugs everywhere...
1052
01:05:07,838 --> 01:05:09,943
It sounds like a bad scene.
1053
01:05:10,107 --> 01:05:11,814
PHIL: Hey, Alan?
1054
01:05:12,276 --> 01:05:13,778
We gotta go.
1055
01:05:16,947 --> 01:05:18,483
I gotta go, little man.
1056
01:05:18,649 --> 01:05:20,458
It was great talking to you.
1057
01:05:21,685 --> 01:05:22,993
High five.
1058
01:05:27,357 --> 01:05:29,303
- It's great to see you.
- You too, Jade.
1059
01:05:29,459 --> 01:05:31,439
- Thanks so much for your help.
- Yeah.
1060
01:05:31,595 --> 01:05:33,131
That's a great kid you got there.
1061
01:05:33,297 --> 01:05:34,742
He is the best.
1062
01:05:34,898 --> 01:05:36,172
TYLER: Alan.
1063
01:05:54,318 --> 01:05:56,423
Oh, hold on. I have something for you.
1064
01:06:03,393 --> 01:06:04,428
Perfect.
1065
01:06:04,594 --> 01:06:05,800
Oh, please.
1066
01:06:05,963 --> 01:06:08,307
I'll see you around, Carlos.
1067
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:12,204
(PHONE RINGS)
1068
01:06:12,369 --> 01:06:14,315
- Yeah.
STU: - We got him.
1069
01:06:14,471 --> 01:06:17,281
- Great. Where is he?
STU: - Caesars Palace.
1070
01:06:17,441 --> 01:06:19,853
Change of plans.
Tell him we're going to Vegas.
1071
01:06:20,410 --> 01:06:21,889
I'm on my way.
1072
01:06:22,045 --> 01:06:23,752
There's a spot just outside of town.
1073
01:06:23,914 --> 01:06:26,724
(OVER PHONE) I'll text you the details.
Be there at 6 a.m.
1074
01:06:26,883 --> 01:06:28,988
And make sure the little fucker's tied up.
1075
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:30,392
We don't have him.
1076
01:06:30,554 --> 01:06:32,295
Hey, Marshall, it's Phil.
1077
01:06:32,456 --> 01:06:33,628
Maybe Stu wasn't clear.
1078
01:06:33,790 --> 01:06:36,794
We don't actually have Chow,
we just know where he is.
1079
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:39,338
Yeah, and we were hoping
that you and your guys...
1080
01:06:39,496 --> 01:06:43,444
- ...could go to Caesars and get him.
- I don't give a fuck what you were hoping.
1081
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:45,443
(OVER PHONE)
The deal is you bring Chow to me.
1082
01:06:45,602 --> 01:06:48,981
- Oh, fuck.
- 6 a.m. Or your friend is dead.
1083
01:06:53,744 --> 01:06:54,916
Shit.
1084
01:07:00,317 --> 01:07:02,194
STU: Oh, God.
1085
01:07:02,386 --> 01:07:04,024
This place gives me the chills.
1086
01:07:04,388 --> 01:07:06,095
I know, right?
1087
01:07:06,490 --> 01:07:08,595
It's great to be back.
1088
01:07:08,759 --> 01:07:11,239
- So many good memories.
- Are you kidding me?
1089
01:07:11,595 --> 01:07:13,165
Okay, so here's the deal:
1090
01:07:13,330 --> 01:07:15,401
You need a key just to get onto his floor.
1091
01:07:15,565 --> 01:07:18,671
And then once you're there,
he's got security posted at the door.
1092
01:07:18,835 --> 01:07:20,337
It's ridiculous.
1093
01:07:20,504 --> 01:07:22,450
Let me guess, that's him?
1094
01:07:24,708 --> 01:07:27,382
PHIL: Yep.
The one with the strobe lights.
1095
01:07:28,445 --> 01:07:30,220
I got an idea.
1096
01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:33,457
But you're not gonna like it.
1097
01:07:35,318 --> 01:07:36,695
It's not gonna work.
1098
01:07:36,853 --> 01:07:38,628
Not with that fucking attitude.
1099
01:07:39,222 --> 01:07:41,828
You know this whole place
is made out of marbles?
1100
01:07:46,863 --> 01:07:48,968
Come on. Go, go, go.
1101
01:07:53,603 --> 01:07:57,050
PHIL: After we stick Chow, Alan and I are
gonna take him down through the lobby.
1102
01:07:57,207 --> 01:08:00,711
Be waiting in valet.
Engine running, ready to go.
1103
01:08:00,877 --> 01:08:02,550
Are you sure about this?
1104
01:08:02,712 --> 01:08:03,918
Give me the Demerol.
1105
01:08:05,482 --> 01:08:06,654
See you in 20 minutes.
1106
01:08:06,817 --> 01:08:07,921
STU: - Hey, Phil?
- Yeah?
1107
01:08:08,085 --> 01:08:09,120
STU: Don't die.
1108
01:08:37,781 --> 01:08:42,594
(RAKIM MAYERS' "F**KIN' PROBLEMS"
PLAYING ON STEREO)
1109
01:08:45,355 --> 01:08:46,629
PHIL: All right.
1110
01:08:47,624 --> 01:08:48,932
Are you ready to do this?
1111
01:08:49,092 --> 01:08:50,571
Yeah.
1112
01:08:50,927 --> 01:08:52,463
Wait, what are we doing?
1113
01:08:58,135 --> 01:08:59,944
Holy shit.
1114
01:09:06,443 --> 01:09:07,683
PHIL: We're gonna climb down...
1115
01:09:08,545 --> 01:09:11,685
...and then it's about an 8-foot drop
to the balcony.
1116
01:09:12,582 --> 01:09:14,459
- All right?
- Yeah.
1117
01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:22,735
No, you spit in your own hand.
1118
01:09:23,326 --> 01:09:24,600
Oh, yeah.
1119
01:09:24,995 --> 01:09:28,033
(ALAN SNORTING)
1120
01:09:31,067 --> 01:09:33,809
(CONTINUES SNORTING)
1121
01:09:36,072 --> 01:09:37,881
Dry desert air.
1122
01:09:38,475 --> 01:09:41,012
- Alan, it's fine. You don't need it.
- Okay.
1123
01:09:56,326 --> 01:09:57,703
Oh, God.
1124
01:10:03,500 --> 01:10:05,446
- Unh!
- Careful!
1125
01:10:08,138 --> 01:10:09,446
- Phil!
- I'm all right.
1126
01:10:11,508 --> 01:10:12,851
I'm okay!
1127
01:10:13,610 --> 01:10:15,248
- Hey, Phil.
- What's wrong?
1128
01:10:15,412 --> 01:10:16,550
Hold on a second.
1129
01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:18,021
- What?
- Hold on!
1130
01:10:18,181 --> 01:10:20,388
Like, kick yourself out a little bit.
1131
01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:21,620
Alan.
1132
01:10:21,785 --> 01:10:23,162
- Stay still!
- Alan!
1133
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:24,355
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
1134
01:10:24,521 --> 01:10:25,591
Did you get it?
1135
01:10:25,755 --> 01:10:27,757
No. Hold on.
1136
01:10:27,924 --> 01:10:29,403
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
1137
01:10:30,460 --> 01:10:32,531
Ha, that's cool, ha-ha-ha.
1138
01:10:39,469 --> 01:10:40,880
Oh! Fuck me!
1139
01:10:42,906 --> 01:10:44,476
ALAN: Everything all right?
1140
01:10:45,542 --> 01:10:47,021
It's okay!
1141
01:10:47,177 --> 01:10:48,417
It's all right!
1142
01:10:48,612 --> 01:10:50,956
I got it! Whoa.
1143
01:10:54,818 --> 01:10:55,888
Are you okay?
1144
01:10:56,052 --> 01:10:59,499
(RAKIM MAYERS' "F**KIN' PROBLEMS"
CONTINUES PLAYING ON STEREO)
1145
01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:09,301
Alan, it's your turn.
1146
01:11:14,137 --> 01:11:15,514
That's it.
1147
01:11:15,739 --> 01:11:17,241
Phil, I can't. I can't.
1148
01:11:17,407 --> 01:11:18,442
PHIL: Come on.
1149
01:11:19,943 --> 01:11:21,616
(ALAN WHIMPERING)
1150
01:11:22,012 --> 01:11:23,457
(ALAN SCREAMS)
1151
01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:25,092
PHIL: Whoa!
1152
01:11:25,248 --> 01:11:26,522
Alan, you all right?
1153
01:11:26,683 --> 01:11:27,957
Phil, call Security!
1154
01:11:28,151 --> 01:11:31,098
- I think it's slipping!
PHIL: - Just hold on!
1155
01:11:31,554 --> 01:11:32,692
Oh! God!
1156
01:11:32,856 --> 01:11:34,858
- You need to calm down.
- I'm slipping, Phil!
1157
01:11:37,193 --> 01:11:38,536
Oh! Fuck!
1158
01:11:39,963 --> 01:11:41,965
Oh, shit! You okay?
1159
01:11:42,165 --> 01:11:45,476
Help!
1160
01:11:49,205 --> 01:11:50,616
Oh, no.
1161
01:11:53,543 --> 01:11:55,216
I'm gonna die, Phil.
1162
01:11:55,378 --> 01:11:57,949
No, you're fine. Just...
1163
01:11:59,215 --> 01:12:00,888
Drop down to me.
1164
01:12:01,685 --> 01:12:02,720
ALAN: No chance.
1165
01:12:03,420 --> 01:12:04,956
I'm good up here.
1166
01:12:05,121 --> 01:12:07,829
Alan, you can do this. I'll catch you.
1167
01:12:09,959 --> 01:12:11,267
Just...
1168
01:12:12,696 --> 01:12:13,800
...let go.
1169
01:12:22,405 --> 01:12:24,908
That's it. That's it.
Just drop straight down.
1170
01:12:26,409 --> 01:12:27,581
But don't push off.
1171
01:12:28,511 --> 01:12:29,717
No!
1172
01:12:30,747 --> 01:12:32,522
- Oh, God!
- Come here!
1173
01:12:35,018 --> 01:12:36,622
Holy fuck!
1174
01:12:36,820 --> 01:12:38,094
You okay?
1175
01:12:38,254 --> 01:12:39,289
Yeah.
1176
01:12:39,456 --> 01:12:41,663
Shit. Oh, fuck.
1177
01:12:43,326 --> 01:12:44,930
I almost died, Phil.
1178
01:12:45,662 --> 01:12:49,269
Come on. I wasn't gonna let you go.
You're my boy.
1179
01:12:49,866 --> 01:12:51,812
And you're my man.
1180
01:12:53,136 --> 01:12:55,116
Alan, what are you doing? Alan.
1181
01:12:57,340 --> 01:12:58,648
Okay.
1182
01:13:00,510 --> 01:13:02,490
Let's go get this fucker.
1183
01:13:03,780 --> 01:13:06,784
(BLACK SABBATH'S "N.I.B."
PLAYING OVER STEREO)
1184
01:13:24,300 --> 01:13:25,370
Hey!
1185
01:13:25,969 --> 01:13:27,039
Have you seen my...?
1186
01:13:27,203 --> 01:13:28,341
Huh?
1187
01:13:54,697 --> 01:13:56,108
ALAN: Phil!
1188
01:13:57,100 --> 01:13:58,636
Motherfuckers!
1189
01:13:59,669 --> 01:14:00,739
PHIL: Grab the gun!
1190
01:14:06,309 --> 01:14:08,016
- Oh, fuck!
ALAN: - Phil!
1191
01:14:08,178 --> 01:14:09,213
PHIL: Oh.
1192
01:14:09,379 --> 01:14:10,858
Phil, you okay?
1193
01:14:12,348 --> 01:14:13,452
PHIL: Chow!
1194
01:14:17,921 --> 01:14:18,956
Chow!
1195
01:14:19,122 --> 01:14:20,396
(GRUNTS)
1196
01:14:20,557 --> 01:14:22,332
Chow, open the fucking door!
1197
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:24,233
Fuck.
1198
01:14:25,829 --> 01:14:27,831
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
1199
01:14:32,569 --> 01:14:33,707
PHIL: Chow, stop.
1200
01:14:33,870 --> 01:14:34,940
You motherfuckers!
1201
01:14:35,104 --> 01:14:38,278
Leslie, get down from there! Please!
You're gonna hurt yourself!
1202
01:14:38,441 --> 01:14:39,886
Nothing hurts Chow.
1203
01:14:40,043 --> 01:14:41,954
I am invisible!
1204
01:14:42,745 --> 01:14:46,420
It's "invincible," and you're not.
You're just out of your fucking mind.
1205
01:14:46,583 --> 01:14:48,756
Now get down from there before you die!
1206
01:14:48,918 --> 01:14:50,329
Die?
1207
01:14:50,487 --> 01:14:54,958
How do you kill what's already dead?
Heh-heh-heh.
1208
01:14:55,725 --> 01:14:56,795
Oh, fuck!
1209
01:14:58,094 --> 01:14:59,937
PHIL: Holy...
1210
01:15:02,031 --> 01:15:03,533
CHOW: Woo-hoo!
1211
01:15:03,967 --> 01:15:06,447
(PHONE RINGS)
1212
01:15:06,603 --> 01:15:08,276
- Hey. You okay?
PHIL: - No.
1213
01:15:08,438 --> 01:15:09,576
Look up.
1214
01:15:09,739 --> 01:15:11,150
(STU GASPS)
1215
01:15:11,307 --> 01:15:13,287
What the fuck is that?
1216
01:15:13,443 --> 01:15:15,081
PHIL: That's Chow!
STU: What?
1217
01:15:15,245 --> 01:15:16,690
Follow him.
1218
01:15:20,583 --> 01:15:22,085
CHOW: Woo-hoo!
1219
01:15:22,919 --> 01:15:23,954
Whoo!
1220
01:15:24,120 --> 01:15:25,724
(LAUGHING)
1221
01:15:25,889 --> 01:15:27,869
I love cocaine!
1222
01:15:29,626 --> 01:15:30,969
Out of the way!
1223
01:15:31,127 --> 01:15:33,232
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
1224
01:15:33,396 --> 01:15:34,534
How did this happen?
1225
01:15:34,697 --> 01:15:36,608
PHIL: We had him trapped,
and then he jumped!
1226
01:15:36,766 --> 01:15:38,336
He's out of his fucking mind!
1227
01:15:38,668 --> 01:15:40,978
CHOW: I'm out of my fucking mind!
1228
01:15:41,137 --> 01:15:42,673
(CHOW LAUGHING)
1229
01:15:44,173 --> 01:15:45,550
Wow.
1230
01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:49,554
So beautiful.
1231
01:15:51,981 --> 01:15:53,255
PHIL: Stu, do not lose him.
1232
01:15:53,416 --> 01:15:54,622
STU: I'm trying.
1233
01:15:56,119 --> 01:15:57,564
Whoa!
1234
01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:59,324
(STU SIGHS)
1235
01:15:59,856 --> 01:16:01,836
Oh, shit.
1236
01:16:02,091 --> 01:16:05,698
CHOW (SINGING): I believe I can fly
1237
01:16:05,862 --> 01:16:10,208
I believe I can touch the sky
1238
01:16:10,667 --> 01:16:14,877
Think about it every night and day
1239
01:16:16,239 --> 01:16:18,845
We gotta pack up all this gold.
We're taking it with us.
1240
01:16:19,008 --> 01:16:20,487
Talk to me, Stu.
1241
01:16:20,643 --> 01:16:22,088
I got him.
1242
01:16:22,245 --> 01:16:23,417
Ha, ha. I got him!
1243
01:16:23,947 --> 01:16:25,119
Oh, shit!
1244
01:16:30,353 --> 01:16:31,923
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1245
01:16:32,355 --> 01:16:33,834
Shit.
1246
01:16:34,958 --> 01:16:36,938
Fuck! I lost him!
1247
01:16:37,093 --> 01:16:39,198
Don't tell me that. You can't lose him!
1248
01:16:39,362 --> 01:16:41,842
STU: This is so much harder
than you realize, Phil.
1249
01:16:41,998 --> 01:16:43,568
I'm just a dentist!
1250
01:16:44,167 --> 01:16:47,410
No, Stu, you're a fucking doctor.
Now go get him.
1251
01:16:53,276 --> 01:16:55,552
Where the fuck did he go?
1252
01:16:57,614 --> 01:16:59,594
CHOW: Fuck me!
1253
01:16:59,749 --> 01:17:01,695
I should have thought this through!
1254
01:17:02,051 --> 01:17:03,121
Shit!
1255
01:17:03,286 --> 01:17:04,321
(CHOW GRUNTS)
1256
01:17:04,487 --> 01:17:05,591
Move!
1257
01:17:07,457 --> 01:17:08,993
- Aah!
- Stu?
1258
01:17:09,158 --> 01:17:11,331
- Chow?
- Stop the fucking car!
1259
01:17:11,494 --> 01:17:14,475
PHIL: - Stu.
- I can't! The pedal is stuck!
1260
01:17:14,631 --> 01:17:15,871
- What?
PHIL: - Stu?
1261
01:17:16,032 --> 01:17:18,342
(CHOW SCREAMING)
1262
01:17:18,501 --> 01:17:20,344
STU: I can't see!
- Stop, motherfucker!
1263
01:17:20,937 --> 01:17:22,644
STU: Get off!
CHOW: Pull over!
1264
01:17:22,805 --> 01:17:24,580
STU: It won't stop!
CHOW: Aah!
1265
01:17:24,741 --> 01:17:26,414
Get off the car!
1266
01:17:26,576 --> 01:17:28,214
I can't see anything!
1267
01:17:28,378 --> 01:17:29,857
Ha-ha-ha. We're gonna die finally.
1268
01:17:30,113 --> 01:17:32,320
(CAR HORN HONKING)
1269
01:17:32,482 --> 01:17:33,893
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1270
01:17:34,050 --> 01:17:35,120
(CHOW LAUGHING)
1271
01:17:41,290 --> 01:17:43,099
STU: Holy shit.
1272
01:17:43,459 --> 01:17:45,063
PHIL: Stu? Stu, what happened?
1273
01:17:46,462 --> 01:17:48,408
Stu, what's going on?
1274
01:17:48,898 --> 01:17:51,344
STU: We had an accident,
and I think he's dead.
1275
01:17:51,534 --> 01:17:52,877
PHIL: Wait, what?
1276
01:17:53,036 --> 01:17:55,107
I think I killed him.
1277
01:18:00,610 --> 01:18:02,146
Holy shit.
1278
01:18:05,682 --> 01:18:07,093
He's not moving.
1279
01:18:07,250 --> 01:18:08,854
PHIL: Oh, fuck.
1280
01:18:11,788 --> 01:18:13,290
STU: Mr. Chow?
1281
01:18:18,795 --> 01:18:20,172
Chow.
1282
01:18:20,329 --> 01:18:22,673
(CHOW COUGHING)
1283
01:18:23,800 --> 01:18:24,835
Stuart?
1284
01:18:25,835 --> 01:18:27,644
He's alive. He's okay.
1285
01:18:27,804 --> 01:18:28,942
PHIL: Oh, great.
1286
01:18:29,105 --> 01:18:32,018
Put him in the limo and come get us.
We'll meet you at valet.
1287
01:18:32,175 --> 01:18:33,483
Yeah, okay.
1288
01:18:34,577 --> 01:18:35,817
Stu.
1289
01:18:36,813 --> 01:18:38,486
That was some ride, huh, pal?
1290
01:18:39,148 --> 01:18:40,491
Yeah, it was pretty wild.
1291
01:18:40,717 --> 01:18:42,663
I can't feel my nuts.
1292
01:18:43,453 --> 01:18:46,161
Would you rub them
and make sure they okay?
1293
01:18:47,857 --> 01:18:49,768
It's over, Leslie.
1294
01:18:55,131 --> 01:18:56,303
CHOW: Wait.
1295
01:18:56,632 --> 01:18:58,475
Let's make a deal.
1296
01:18:59,168 --> 01:19:01,205
Want Chow to blow your dick?
1297
01:19:03,973 --> 01:19:05,316
Come on, Stu.
1298
01:19:07,376 --> 01:19:09,822
I could be a good wife to you.
1299
01:19:10,813 --> 01:19:12,815
STU: No more deals.
- No, wait!
1300
01:19:29,932 --> 01:19:32,003
Let's put the bags in the back seat.
1301
01:19:32,168 --> 01:19:33,647
Trunk's full.
1302
01:19:47,450 --> 01:19:48,758
(THUMPING FROM TRUNK)
1303
01:19:48,918 --> 01:19:52,297
CHOW: Hey, guys? I'm feeling better now.
1304
01:19:52,488 --> 01:19:55,901
All right, it's the next exit,
then four miles straight into the desert.
1305
01:19:56,092 --> 01:19:57,537
CHOW: Tell you what:
1306
01:19:57,693 --> 01:20:01,505
Let me out, we split the gold four ways.
Everyone wins.
1307
01:20:02,265 --> 01:20:03,869
(THUMPING FROM TRUNK)
1308
01:20:04,033 --> 01:20:06,240
CHOW: Marshall gonna kill me!
1309
01:20:06,402 --> 01:20:08,313
My blood will be on your hands!
1310
01:20:09,105 --> 01:20:12,552
You want Chow's ghost haunting you
for rest of your life, Stu?
1311
01:20:12,708 --> 01:20:15,120
Floating over you while you make fuck
on your wife?
1312
01:20:15,278 --> 01:20:18,122
He's not gonna kill you, Chow!
He just wants his gold back!
1313
01:20:18,281 --> 01:20:22,423
CHOW: It's gone. I blew the first
20 million in Bangkok.
1314
01:20:22,585 --> 01:20:26,260
- That's why I had to get the other half.
- Enough, Chow! It's over!
1315
01:20:26,422 --> 01:20:27,958
CHOW: You motherfucker!
1316
01:20:28,124 --> 01:20:31,230
When I get out of this,
I'm gonna rip out your fucking lungs!
1317
01:20:31,394 --> 01:20:34,375
You hear me? You're dead! You're all dead!
1318
01:20:36,833 --> 01:20:38,710
I didn't mean that.
1319
01:20:39,035 --> 01:20:41,345
Chow loses temper sometimes.
1320
01:20:41,504 --> 01:20:44,280
Please. I need help.
1321
01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:45,680
I know that now.
1322
01:20:48,544 --> 01:20:49,716
That's the exit.
1323
01:21:10,499 --> 01:21:12,137
PHIL: They're here.
1324
01:21:14,637 --> 01:21:17,083
Alan, they're coming, grab the last bag.
1325
01:21:17,240 --> 01:21:18,878
CHOW: Please, Alan.
1326
01:21:45,001 --> 01:21:46,071
Doug!
1327
01:21:46,235 --> 01:21:48,044
Step away from the bags. Let's go!
1328
01:21:53,242 --> 01:21:54,277
We good?
1329
01:21:54,443 --> 01:21:56,548
- It's all there. I promise.
MARSHALL: - Not exactly.
1330
01:21:56,712 --> 01:21:59,022
I'm still missing the original half.
1331
01:21:59,181 --> 01:22:03,891
But, no, that's all we have. Chow said
he blew the other half in Bangkok.
1332
01:22:05,321 --> 01:22:06,664
Where is he?
1333
01:22:08,057 --> 01:22:09,536
He's in the trunk.
1334
01:22:11,394 --> 01:22:12,702
Deal's a deal.
1335
01:22:13,562 --> 01:22:15,769
- Doug.
- Give me the keys.
1336
01:22:21,270 --> 01:22:22,749
What are you gonna do with Chow?
1337
01:22:23,172 --> 01:22:25,209
I just wanna talk to him.
1338
01:22:25,942 --> 01:22:27,148
Move.
1339
01:22:28,945 --> 01:22:30,322
You all right?
1340
01:22:35,017 --> 01:22:36,621
What the fuck?
1341
01:22:37,520 --> 01:22:39,659
End of conversation.
1342
01:22:40,756 --> 01:22:42,793
Why would you do that?
1343
01:22:43,059 --> 01:22:46,063
Leslie Chow is madness.
1344
01:22:46,295 --> 01:22:48,104
You don't talk to madness.
1345
01:22:48,264 --> 01:22:52,178
If you're lucky, you trap it in the trunk
of your limo and you kill it.
1346
01:22:53,769 --> 01:22:55,976
You did a great thing tonight.
1347
01:22:56,205 --> 01:22:58,446
You should feel good about this.
1348
01:23:04,080 --> 01:23:06,993
What the fuck?
You think this is a fucking game?
1349
01:23:07,883 --> 01:23:08,953
Don't, don't, don't!
1350
01:23:09,118 --> 01:23:10,426
Oh, shit!
1351
01:23:11,287 --> 01:23:13,198
Toodle-loo, motherfuckers.
1352
01:23:24,934 --> 01:23:26,038
Chow.
1353
01:23:27,470 --> 01:23:29,609
Chow. Chow, wait.
1354
01:23:29,772 --> 01:23:32,013
Oh, now you wanna talk, blue eyes?
1355
01:23:32,208 --> 01:23:34,210
No more silent treatment?
1356
01:23:34,377 --> 01:23:36,254
Leslie. No.
1357
01:23:36,645 --> 01:23:38,181
Stay out of this, fatty.
1358
01:23:40,449 --> 01:23:41,928
No, Leslie.
1359
01:23:48,090 --> 01:23:50,468
You shoot Phil, you gotta go through me.
1360
01:23:50,760 --> 01:23:51,932
What?
1361
01:23:59,435 --> 01:24:01,472
- Alan.
- Quiet.
1362
01:24:01,637 --> 01:24:03,548
I'm in a stare-off.
1363
01:24:12,148 --> 01:24:13,684
Today you all live.
1364
01:24:14,750 --> 01:24:17,060
Because one of you was a friend.
1365
01:24:19,889 --> 01:24:21,835
Alan, what did you do?
1366
01:24:22,525 --> 01:24:25,699
I unlocked the latch
between the back seat and the trunk.
1367
01:24:27,496 --> 01:24:29,407
And left him his gun?
1368
01:24:30,466 --> 01:24:32,537
Yeah, I didn't think it
all the way through.
1369
01:24:33,002 --> 01:24:35,004
He gave Chow a fighting chance.
1370
01:24:36,705 --> 01:24:38,514
That's all I ever need.
1371
01:24:42,078 --> 01:24:43,386
CHOW: Fat fuck.
1372
01:24:48,818 --> 01:24:50,126
It's never easy, is it?
1373
01:24:50,653 --> 01:24:52,223
No one wants to see that.
1374
01:24:52,688 --> 01:24:55,225
Except for me, but I was born bad.
1375
01:24:55,524 --> 01:24:57,800
Hold on. I have something for you.
1376
01:25:00,563 --> 01:25:01,667
For your loyalty.
1377
01:25:06,702 --> 01:25:10,149
- Oh, no, I don't want this, Mr. Chow.
- Okay, give it back, then. Come on.
1378
01:25:10,606 --> 01:25:13,314
Quick! Before Stu smells it.
1379
01:25:14,410 --> 01:25:15,946
I don't want it either, Chow.
1380
01:25:16,112 --> 01:25:18,251
Oh, please.
Like a squirrel doesn't want a nut.
1381
01:25:18,414 --> 01:25:19,757
(CHOW LAUGHING)
1382
01:25:19,915 --> 01:25:22,589
It funny because he's Jewish.
1383
01:25:25,588 --> 01:25:27,067
Don't you get it?
1384
01:25:34,597 --> 01:25:36,235
Goddamn it.
1385
01:25:38,267 --> 01:25:41,407
Okay, go on. Get out of here, all of you.
1386
01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:49,919
Hey, chubster, I'll call you in a week.
We'll get together.
1387
01:25:53,716 --> 01:25:57,289
No, Leslie, we can't be friends anymore.
1388
01:25:57,453 --> 01:25:58,523
What?
1389
01:25:59,755 --> 01:26:02,395
You're not good for me. It's not healthy.
1390
01:26:02,558 --> 01:26:05,471
Alan, you're not thinking straight.
1391
01:26:06,295 --> 01:26:07,797
Let's just talk tomorrow.
1392
01:26:08,864 --> 01:26:11,845
Leslie, you're one of the coolest
and nicest guys I've ever met.
1393
01:26:12,001 --> 01:26:15,175
And you're smart and you're funny
and everybody loves you.
1394
01:26:15,337 --> 01:26:17,214
Alan. What is this?
1395
01:26:19,008 --> 01:26:22,012
When we get together,
bad things happen and people get hurt.
1396
01:26:22,178 --> 01:26:25,159
Yeah, that's the point. It's funny.
1397
01:26:26,081 --> 01:26:29,358
Well, I've gotta make some changes
in my life, and this is one of them.
1398
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:32,999
I'm sorry.
1399
01:26:37,426 --> 01:26:39,201
Farewell, Leslie Chow.
1400
01:26:53,576 --> 01:26:55,283
You're cold as ice.
1401
01:26:57,413 --> 01:26:58,551
Shotgun.
1402
01:27:57,539 --> 01:27:58,882
(PHIL SIGHS)
1403
01:28:00,976 --> 01:28:02,819
Everybody okay?
1404
01:28:04,480 --> 01:28:05,959
Yeah.
1405
01:28:06,582 --> 01:28:08,789
PHIL: Alan, you okay?
1406
01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:10,995
Yeah.
1407
01:28:14,256 --> 01:28:16,497
Good. Let's go home.
1408
01:28:34,310 --> 01:28:36,085
Jesus Christ.
1409
01:28:42,885 --> 01:28:44,455
You know what, guys?
1410
01:28:45,421 --> 01:28:48,493
You can go ahead without me.
There's something I need to do.
1411
01:28:50,592 --> 01:28:52,572
Do you even know how to get home?
1412
01:28:54,763 --> 01:28:56,674
Of course I do. I'm a grown man.
1413
01:28:56,832 --> 01:28:58,470
I'll ask a stranger.
1414
01:29:02,571 --> 01:29:03,641
Good luck, Alan.
1415
01:29:06,241 --> 01:29:07,948
We'll see you soon.
1416
01:29:40,175 --> 01:29:43,122
Did you know that just a couple blocks
from here...
1417
01:29:43,278 --> 01:29:46,282
...there's a place that looks exactly
like Paris, France?
1418
01:29:47,216 --> 01:29:50,925
I can't remember what it's called,
but it's supposed to be magnificent.
1419
01:29:51,086 --> 01:29:53,896
It's called Paris Hotel and Casino,
and it is magnificent.
1420
01:29:54,089 --> 01:29:55,159
Yeah, that's it.
1421
01:29:55,324 --> 01:29:58,362
Well, I'd like to take you to dinner there.
Tonight.
1422
01:29:58,961 --> 01:30:01,032
Oh, sorry. No can do.
1423
01:30:01,897 --> 01:30:03,205
Oh, well...
1424
01:30:03,365 --> 01:30:05,572
I'm banned from the casino for life.
1425
01:30:05,734 --> 01:30:07,407
Plus 10 years.
1426
01:30:08,003 --> 01:30:10,882
I took Mom there for her birthday,
played a little blackjack.
1427
01:30:11,039 --> 01:30:12,074
She split 10s.
1428
01:30:12,241 --> 01:30:14,278
- Oh.
- I may have overreacted.
1429
01:30:14,443 --> 01:30:16,252
They said it was abuse of an elderly.
1430
01:30:16,412 --> 01:30:17,891
Ha, ha. I've done that.
1431
01:30:18,046 --> 01:30:20,219
Heh. Right? Whatever.
1432
01:30:20,916 --> 01:30:22,293
I can't go back there.
1433
01:30:25,921 --> 01:30:27,264
But, uh...
1434
01:30:27,423 --> 01:30:32,270
...Golden Nugget has the best prime rib
in town, if that's...
1435
01:30:34,696 --> 01:30:36,642
Well, that sounds glorious.
1436
01:30:37,566 --> 01:30:39,102
I'll send for you at 8:00.
1437
01:30:45,841 --> 01:30:47,479
Is that it?
1438
01:31:16,071 --> 01:31:18,608
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1439
01:31:24,947 --> 01:31:27,188
I saw it once in a pornography.
1440
01:31:27,483 --> 01:31:28,826
Oh.
1441
01:31:29,117 --> 01:31:30,653
It's a nice gesture.
1442
01:31:30,819 --> 01:31:32,321
But maybe we should wait.
1443
01:31:32,821 --> 01:31:33,891
Oh. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
1444
01:31:38,427 --> 01:31:39,770
(CHUCKLES)
1445
01:31:41,296 --> 01:31:42,741
I'll see you at 8.
1446
01:32:07,756 --> 01:32:09,667
You look great, Alan.
1447
01:32:10,726 --> 01:32:13,070
What do you think? Hat or no hat?
1448
01:32:13,228 --> 01:32:14,468
Uh...
1449
01:32:14,630 --> 01:32:16,871
- Hat. For sure.
- Oh, yeah. Okay.
1450
01:32:18,133 --> 01:32:20,272
Wow. Who's this guy?
1451
01:32:20,435 --> 01:32:22,608
The vest and the cane? I love it.
1452
01:32:22,771 --> 01:32:24,717
Thank you. Cassie picked it out for me.
1453
01:32:24,873 --> 01:32:26,352
You look like Mr. Peanut.
1454
01:32:26,508 --> 01:32:29,045
Yeah, I know, right?
That's what I was going for.
1455
01:32:29,645 --> 01:32:31,886
- Maybe we'll just lose it.
- Yeah.
1456
01:32:32,047 --> 01:32:35,051
Hey, Alan, I was just talking to Cassie.
She's an amazing woman.
1457
01:32:35,250 --> 01:32:37,787
Oh, thank you for saying that.
She is an amazing woman.
1458
01:32:37,953 --> 01:32:39,899
I find her much better than your wives.
1459
01:32:40,055 --> 01:32:41,295
Aw. That's sweet.
1460
01:32:41,456 --> 01:32:45,063
Which reminds me.
Um, we need to talk. Doug?
1461
01:32:47,663 --> 01:32:49,336
All right, listen, fellas.
1462
01:32:49,498 --> 01:32:53,378
Now that I'm getting married, I'm gonna be
spending a lot more time with Cassandra.
1463
01:32:53,535 --> 01:32:57,210
- Yeah. It's the way it should be.
- No, you slow your roll, Phil, okay?
1464
01:32:57,372 --> 01:32:58,407
There's more.
1465
01:32:58,574 --> 01:33:00,554
And you're not gonna like this part.
1466
01:33:02,711 --> 01:33:06,523
I must resign from the wolf pack.
1467
01:33:09,418 --> 01:33:12,558
Wow, that's a big step, Alan.
1468
01:33:12,721 --> 01:33:13,756
ALAN: I know.
1469
01:33:14,222 --> 01:33:16,168
But she's my soul mate.
1470
01:33:16,325 --> 01:33:18,134
And my new best friend.
1471
01:33:19,061 --> 01:33:21,564
Plus, she lets me mount her...
1472
01:33:21,997 --> 01:33:23,305
...which relaxes me.
1473
01:33:23,498 --> 01:33:24,670
Oh, my God.
1474
01:33:24,833 --> 01:33:27,905
Alan, maybe never say that part again.
1475
01:33:28,070 --> 01:33:30,072
Chillax, Doug, we're all adults here.
1476
01:33:30,238 --> 01:33:32,684
I know you mount my sister.
I've seen it. Many times.
1477
01:33:33,175 --> 01:33:34,552
What?
1478
01:33:35,077 --> 01:33:36,181
Alan, you are the best.
1479
01:33:36,345 --> 01:33:37,619
The point is:
1480
01:33:37,813 --> 01:33:39,087
You need to let me go.
1481
01:33:39,448 --> 01:33:40,859
You in particular.
1482
01:33:41,016 --> 01:33:42,689
I can't be your hero anymore.
1483
01:33:44,186 --> 01:33:46,097
Okay. Sure.
1484
01:33:51,927 --> 01:33:53,270
Having said all that...
1485
01:33:53,428 --> 01:33:56,466
...I still would like to get together
on Tuesdays for bowling...
1486
01:33:56,632 --> 01:33:59,806
...and alternating Sundays
for general horseplay.
1487
01:33:59,968 --> 01:34:02,778
- How about we play all that by ear?
- Alan, it's time.
1488
01:34:02,938 --> 01:34:04,144
Here we go.
1489
01:34:04,706 --> 01:34:06,185
Ready?
1490
01:34:10,846 --> 01:34:12,553
(SIGHS)
1491
01:34:12,981 --> 01:34:14,255
I'm ready.
1492
01:35:50,579 --> 01:35:53,025
(PHIL GRUNTING)
1493
01:36:01,857 --> 01:36:03,632
What the fuck?
1494
01:36:05,894 --> 01:36:06,929
Oh.
1495
01:36:07,462 --> 01:36:08,497
(GLASS SHATTERS)
1496
01:36:08,663 --> 01:36:09,937
(STU LAUGHING)
1497
01:36:11,466 --> 01:36:15,039
(LAUGHING)
1498
01:36:15,203 --> 01:36:16,682
Oh, my God.
1499
01:36:17,172 --> 01:36:18,515
You guys.
1500
01:36:18,673 --> 01:36:21,051
We're so crazy.
1501
01:36:22,043 --> 01:36:25,456
I'm wearing women's underwear. Ha-ha-ha.
1502
01:36:25,614 --> 01:36:28,151
Oh, my God. Ha-ha-ha.
1503
01:36:28,683 --> 01:36:31,789
Stu, don't freak out,
but you need to look down.
1504
01:36:32,888 --> 01:36:34,367
What?
1505
01:36:36,792 --> 01:36:38,430
Oh, my God!
1506
01:36:38,593 --> 01:36:39,765
(CASSIE CONTINUES LAUGHING)
1507
01:36:39,928 --> 01:36:41,202
(YELLS)
1508
01:36:41,363 --> 01:36:43,775
PHIL: Ho-ho-ho.
- Aah!
1509
01:36:43,932 --> 01:36:45,605
(CASSIE CONTINUES LAUGHING)
1510
01:36:45,767 --> 01:36:47,576
PHIL: Oh, fuck!
1511
01:36:48,270 --> 01:36:50,443
I have boobies now!
1512
01:36:50,605 --> 01:36:51,640
Holy shit!
1513
01:36:51,807 --> 01:36:53,150
STU: It's not funny!
1514
01:36:54,009 --> 01:36:56,216
Alan, what did you do?
1515
01:36:57,112 --> 01:36:58,921
What did you do, Alan?
1516
01:36:59,080 --> 01:37:00,559
The wedding cake.
1517
01:37:00,715 --> 01:37:01,955
It was from Leslie.
1518
01:37:02,350 --> 01:37:03,385
(GLASS BREAKING)
1519
01:37:03,819 --> 01:37:04,923
Oh, my God.
1520
01:37:05,086 --> 01:37:07,999
We had a sick night, bitches. Heh-heh-heh.
1521
01:37:10,025 --> 01:37:11,732
(SCREAMING)
1522
01:40:03,798 --> 01:40:05,800
(English - US - SDH)
114746
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