All language subtitles for T.O.G._SCR-xvid_MC8

In New York City there is a
fine line between law and chaos.

On that line live Danson
and Highsmith.

Tell me again why I decided to
get on this roof?

I think you can chop that up to
bad life choices

Get rid of that asshole
-- O o

I knew when you say "O o"

O dude, you put a dent in my hood.

Come on.

That's trouble

Uh .. Did someone call 9-1-holy shit?

That's it .. I'm sick of all this running

-- Hang on ...

[Slow] You have the right to remain silent ...

... but I want to hear you scream ...

Stay on the ground!

Detective ! Detective!

One at a time , all right?

Yeah Detective, Rick Rayston, New York Observer ...
online

These suspects were caught with only
a quarter of pound of marijuana ...

... ,a misdemeanor in some states.
Do you think this arrest was worth 12 million
in property damages?

Why don't we let New York City
answer that question?

The greatest city on earth! Yeah !

Uh .. Sarah Capone from TMZ ... prince edition,

uh, Danson, are the rumors
about you and Kim Kardasian true?

No comment.

But, yes.

Danson and Highsmith,
free hot dogs ... for life!

No drinks ... No drinks
Can't do it ... I can't do it

Danson and Highsmith,
shoot, drive and sex in style

They are rock stars ...
Then you got your jokers,

your ball busters,
your vets ...

... and the other guys ...

We know ... we know .... we know ...

allright .. allright .. allright .. listen up! listen up!

We have a celebration tonight at Butter,

Brody Jenner is gonna be there ..., Bai Ling ...,
Della Shortpit from Jersey Shore ...,

And ... most of you are on the list
-- You're the best.

Ang I'm gonna say something right now,
it's about a man who came from Austria ...

... with a dream
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Let me finish.

He became a champion,
and a movie star ...

-- Arnold Scharzenegger!

God damn it, let me fini ..
They ruined the story ... they ruined the story

No, the point is, we couldn't do our job
if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork, ...

answering the phone and all the stupid shit
that we don't like to do ...

All the gun fights, all the car chases,
all the sex we don't want to have with women ... but we have to ...

All due to what you guys do.
Thank you.

And we do it again and again
-- Ay, ay, ay! You shut your face!

If we want to hear you talk, I'll shove
my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet!

You hear me? You hear me?

...
- Peace out, bitches.

Hey, fellas. all right, bring it in.
Come on, bring it a little bit

All right. Right there.
Just back .. right there

Just ... just one ... there you go ...
right there .. right there

This is their paperwork,
you know they are not gonna do it

- That's right
- This paperfork work is like Bob's wife here

Stick, ugly, got Danson's fingerprints all over it.
No offence, Bob
- That's all right

Anyway, now who wants it?
-- I do

All right! Paper bitch and Yankee Clip are on the case.
-- Nice work. Thanks, Allen.

Thank you, Captain.
-- I do it. I do it

[Humming]

Stop humming that song!
-- I can hum if I want to

I know you can, I am asking you to stop.

Well, if you're asking then I'll stop.
-- Thank you.

Could you not smile like that?

Now you're asking me to mask my emotions because of
how it makes you feel ...

that I will not do

Seriously, stop humming! Ok?
This isn't accounting or wherever the hell you and your little pockey
calculator were transferred from

Forensic accounting. Ok?
It is an important part of the job
- Yeah Whatever

Stop being verbally happy about doing shitwork, you moron
- Hey guys

Reminder:
The police unit picnic coming up this weekend.

My wife's making her famous
devil eggs again.

My waistline is furious.
-- It's a bad time, Bob!

All right

I wanna get that slice

You know what I just did?
I just walked out that door ...

saw a couple of detectives down there and I was about to start
badmouthing you behind your back ...

but I stopped myself because my
Pop taught me that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward.

Wow, I actually appreciate that.
-- Good, coz I am gonna tell you directly to your face!

No, you don't have to
-- No I don't like you

I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal,
it sounds feminine

If you were in the wild, I would attack you,
even if you weren't in my food chain.

I would go out of my way to attack you.
If I were a lion and you were a tuna,

I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you
and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.

Ok, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean.
Lions don't like water

If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense.
But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave,

I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against
a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends,

you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10.
And guess what,

you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion.
We've talked to ourselves.

We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good,
let's go get some more lion'.

We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively
hunt you and your family and

we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.
-- How you gonna do that?

We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp.
We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen.

It's not gonna be days at a time.
An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem.

That will give us enough time to figure out where you live,
go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you

You just lost at your own game.
You're outgunned and out-manned.

Did that go the way you thought
it was gonna go? Nope!

Two minutes before the markets open,
Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global

ringing the opening bell. With Boardman is investment banker,
David Ershon, who manages 40% of Lendl $70 billion equity pool

How much did we lose?

You may ring the bell now Ms. Boardman.
-- 32.

Million?
-- No, billion

Chinatown, three triad gang members.
I popped two of them off the draw. Bang! Bang!

Then I raise up to take the leader out.
-- O shit! I feel like I'm there now

I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof.

He says: Let's even the odds!

He tosses me down a mos?? pump,
I sent one through his chest.

Game over, bitches

Jimmy, let's talk about
how that story made you feel

Like a Viagra pill with a face.

I know it's very tempting.
You wanna impress your friends ...

but this is serious stuff we're dealing with. Ok?
This is firing your weapon in the line of duty

Officer Hoitz

Here we go.
-- Would you like to share?

I'd rather not.
-- Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here for six months.

And you haven't said a word.
Safe environment, no judgement here
-- Douchebag

-- That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on.

I relive it every night.

The Bronx, October.
Game 7 of the World Series.

Got a marvelous high pressure handling the crowd.
I pull tunnel duty

Then I saw a shadow figure in the tunnel.
I told him to stop.
-- Wow wow wow

This is a restricted area.
I finally pulled my gun.

Don't make me shoot, I'll do it.

Are you deaf?

You dick, I'm Derek Jeter.
You shot me

You cost me 20 grand on that game
- Douchebag

I cost the city a championship.
I was being groomed for top position in Homicide

Now I'm stuck with a desk junky partner
and everybody calls me the Yankee clipper.

Because you shot Derek Jeter
-- He's a biracial angel.

You should've shot Evra

Yo, Paper Bitch.
-- What's up man?
-- Hey guys

Paper bitch! Paper bitch
-- I don't like that actually. I know you guys think it's fun.
But I don't like that.

Still working on Danson and Highsmith paperwork?
-- No, actually ...

What is this?
- Guys
-- Illegal permitting for construction.

Specifically scaffolding
-- Some of the guys were talking ...

they are like, how come you never fired your weapon
in the office before?
-- Good point.

I am sorry. I don't follow
-- You never fired your weapon in the office.

We all have, you know, it's called the desk pop.
-- Fellas, look, I know you don't respect me as a police officer

Not true,
--I'm not stupid. I am not going to discharge
my firearm inthe office

Listen to me! I'll try to make it real clear.
We honor the flag. And you crap on it
when you don't shoot your gun in the office

Jimmy, when was the last time you had a desk pop?
-- September 2008.

Be a man. Do it.

Please, please do it.
-- Pop one off!

Pop it off
-- Don't think just go!

Here we go!
-- Yes!

Hey, shot fired!
-- Hey Terry! I did it! I dis my first desk pop

It's a real thing right?
-- A desk pop?

Yeah!
-- Not it's not!
-- They were so convincing.

.. in their argument. They swang me.

You're gonna have to hand over your gun
-- Yes, sir.

Captain, If you really want to disarm this guy,
take out the batteries in the calculator.

Allright, I am gonna give you this: This is a dummy gun.
They used this for ceremony.

You get this back when I feel you know
how to handle it

Listen guys, I am working two jobs:
I am working here, I got another job at Bed, Bath and Beyond

Ok? I am doing that just to put the kid
through NYU so he can explore his bisexuality ...

become a DJ. Now the last thinbg I need is a ballisticv report
in the unit. Just gonna ask you guys. Please, come on!

Really, just think about it.
Just be smart.

2-11 in progress. They are using
a wrecking ball to clean up Caspian Jewellery

We got it!
-- Good luck guys, have a good one.

Let's go!
-- No, I got work to do.
-- What? This is work.

Danson and Highsmith
are rolling heavy

Creampuff, sit tight.
-- You got to be shitting me?

You can't keep cooked up in here, ok?

I am a peacock, you got to let me fly.

Did he just.. did he just call himself a peacock?

Let's go!

Come on, fellas.
Wednesday night is taco night at Rancor's island

Awww, The second one this week.

Hey you monkeys! Stop!

Let's go!

Hands up.

Special Forces zipline

These guys are pros

You're thinking what I'm thinking, partner?
-- Aim for the bushes.

Cops still argue to this day
why Danson and Highsmith jump

Maybe it was just pride
having survived so many brushes with death.

Maybe their ego pushed them off
I don't know

But that shit was crazy.
Either way ...

there was a hole in New York City
that needed to be filled.

Two days ago, the City wept, we lost
two heroes who get everything for us ...

who pay that ultimate sacrifice
so that we may walk these streets safely

There wasn't even an awning in that garage
-- No, I know

They jumped from 20 stories
-- Doesn't make sense, does it?

I only hope Got lets them take their .357s
with them to heaven to keep, to ...
-- It's our moment, Allen

Our moment to step up and
be the guys

We're at a funeral.
Show some respect.

What? You don't think every other detective here
isn't thinking the same thing?

Allen, listen to me, Danson and Highsmith are gone.
Their desks right? Someone has to fill those seats

And that someone is us

Ok? The city's dying for a hero
-- Is it?

Yeah!
-- What about nine million socially concious and
unified citizens all just stepping up and doing their part?

As a little kid, didn't you dress up
like cops and a robbers?

I'll tell you what I did as a little kid, I went to school,
I made my bed ...

and at age eleven, I audited
my parents.

Believe me, there were some discrepancies,
and I was grounded

What the hell are you ?
-- Well, well, well. What we got here?

Look at these two jummocks, would you?

One shot Jeter
and the other shot an office.

Have some decorum, we're at a funeral. Shhh

You want to dance, huh?
I will rock your body with big nasty hooks

Ripping some blood out of your ass.
-- That's horrible
-- Would you step back, man?

You touch him, I swear to God I am gonna beat
the shit out of you with Allen's head

-- He's not gonna do that. That's like verbally,
but that's one weird example

You wanna go?
-- I wanna go!

Kick his ass, Martin!
-- How do you like that?

Really sorry for your loss, mam
-- Lovely hat

I love your shoes.
-- It's fine. It's fine
-- Go! Go!

Ah, man!

You don't know how to do it!
That's how you do it in the hood!

Pay the winner. Pay for the winner.
Everybody saw

What the hell is going on here?

Two good men are dead
and you guys are fighting ...

of who's gonna be the next hot shot, huh?
Is that what's happening?
-- Yes, that's exactly what's happening

Let me say something about those guys.
They knew that to become a good cop, you have to solve cases...

Ok? And maybe you start with Castian robbery. Ok?

Watch it!

Next time: Me, You, Library
-- Not even close

I am the winner.
-- I didn't need you to stick up for me ok?

I could've handled that myself.
-- Don't flatter yourself.

It's partners Code.
I had no choice.

9:15, let's have a great day everybody
-- Cut the shit!

Good morning.

We've got shot fired.
509 East 10th Street.

There are large amounts of cocaine onthe scene.
Try to stay out of trouble, boys

There's no chance you are going on that call right?
-- No chance, too busy.

All right ladies, starting to get the picture?
We're about to lock shit down.
-- That's right

You girls stay here and get your type on
-- Go get them guys. A lot of energy, a lot of focus.

Shut up.
-- Allen, Can I see you in the hallway for a second?

I .. I'm super busy right now
-- No, no, no, I know. This will be real quick.

It's about the construction permits we talking about
-- The Scaffolding violation?

This is our thing. Yeah.

So, so what do you got?
-- I got this.

I hope you like your neck.
-- What are you doing?
-- Let's go

We go to that call.

What is this?
-- Shut up! We're going to the car ...

and we're going after this case.
-- You're not gonna shoot me.

I won't ?
-- No
-- I shot Jeter.

That was an accident.
-- Was it?

Move

Anybody see this? He's got a gun on me

I am being kidnapped.
Really? We're in a police station and no one is seeing this?

So then what happened?

What do you thin? I woke up, I took the belt
off my neck and I got my car and I got out of there

Talked about a wild weekend, huh?
-- I thought I was going to shoot my way out

What are you gonna do though, you know?
Bar Mitzvah's.

What the hell is this?
-- It's my car.

Detective Hoitz and Gamble
on that 5-18 on East 10th.

Negatory, Martin and Fossi.
Two minutes. Out.

We'll just see who's there first.
-- You stay out of our crime scene. You hear me?

Go! Go! Go!

Feel that Allen? Huh? That ting-a-ling in your balls,
big net of butterflies flying around in your stomach?

Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer?
-- I got something to keep you going

Let's go do some damage!

Nope

What the hell is that?
-- LRB. Little River Band.

This music makes me feel like I am going shopping for
training bra.

You know what? We go with no music, ok? Good bye.
-- No no

You just signed your death warrant, Hoitz!
-- Allen, punch that accelerator or I'll shoot in you in the foot.

America!

Allen! The brake. Just slow the car down

We're goingto the crime scene.
-- Yeah, yeah

Dude!
-- It's a lot of cocaine.

Did you yell 'America'
when you hit the accelerator?

Nope. No.

I never actually put my foot all the way down
to the ground with the accelerator like that

You got me slightly aroused.

Here we go.

Way to put your stamp on the crime scene, guys

A Prius huh?
-- Yeah. Yup.

Good mileage?
-- Oh. Outstanding

Did this come with a dental dam?

Get it?

... shit one of these last night
-- I don't know that they put tampons on wheels.

They have their fun, huh?
-- Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car.

All right, everybody. We need y'all to back up now. We're taking over

"At the crime scene. LOL. "
-- Good tweet.
-- Yeah

America was always been defined
by its excess.

The Grand Canyon, professional
sports contracts ...

Wendy's bacon and eggs, extra bacon.

I myself have 18 Lamborghinis

And a Subaru station wagon.

And it's because of this excess that I have flourished,
I employ you.

Please, do not stop profiting.
Live for excess.

It's the American way.

Mr. Ershon, I believe this call is for you.

This is David.
-- David, you're not returning my call, so I'd like you to
meet Roger Wesley ...

G'day, mate!

Roger is gonna babysit you because I don't trust you.
Because I think you are going to take off

Pam, this is ridiculous, I'm not going anywhere.

David, listen, The Lendl quarterly come out on the 26th.
You have until then to gove me my money.

I am not reporting any losses, David.
-- I have zero debt on the new investor.
-- Then you get their money and get disappeared and pay us back.

Yes, yes, I'll tell him he doesn't have to
keep watching me.

So you're good to go.

Heard everything, mate.
-- Ladies and gentlemen, guess, who gave me the secret to making ...

my first billion dollars?

That man.
-- Go.

Go. To the side please.

You don't think I'm a real cop, do you?
-- No, I don't. I've said that directly to your face numerous times.
I was really honest about that

We are on a huge case. Allright?
Property owner. With 7 buildings under construction,
he hasn't applied for a single scaffolding permit

Now, according to S Geeves, this Perv
is at Plaza Hotel speaking right now

That's your big case?
Scaffolding permit?

Yeah. Guess what. You're coming with me.

That's a wooden gun.

Ow, that hurts, man.

I've always got Little River Band loaded.
I got 6 discs in here.

Meet me outside at the backof the service entrance

I am flying Air Singapore.
Hey Douglas, how's the wife?

She died.
-- Attaboy! I'll be there in two minutes exactly.

Another thing I hate:
You always pay in exact change

You're just mad because
I have a nice change purse

Why do you even care?
-- How can I help it? You know what?

You know what's worst? The way you fart.
Even your farts. They're not manly

You're being ridiculous.
-- They sound like a baby blowing out the candles at a birthday cake
-- What?

A little ... bzzz
-- You know what bugs me about you?

What?
-- I'm pretty sure you've never voted
-- Oh I vote. Sports Regular AMA 80. Player of the week.

You're like a child in a leather jacket. That's what you're like.
-- Get out of the way man

Wait. Are you David Ershon?

Yes, Sir David Ershon.
Doesn't matter. I am in a little bit of a rush

Gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you
-- Excuse me, but you are under arrest

Ok? You have the right to remain silent

Anything you do or say can be used
um ... What 's the next part?

As a floatation device
-- As a floatation device. Ah You know what?

Very funny. I have
never apprehended anyone before.

Really? Are you guys for real? Am I being punk'd?

Detective Allen Gamble, we are in
a cocaine covered car and we're bring in a Perp...

one David Ershon ...
-- 175 pounds

175 pounds. Thank you
-- Shut up man! Shut up!

Martin and Fossi are probably on Studio beach talking
to Shepard Smith right now ...

We arrested this jerk-off
for a scaffolding permit

W..wait, what am I being arrested for?
-- Scaffolding permit violation.

I got my insurance card ...
-- Easy, mate.

They re driving into us.
-- Stand over there. Wood.

Couldn't see the car? It's big enough, mate?
-- What?

Do not let this man take me.
-- ...

Hi ..
-- Why is she looking at you like that?

That's my car.
Hey, hey, hey. We didn't exchange .. insurance information

Excuse me. Why did they take our shoes?

What the hell just happened?
-- Where's my iPhone?

I think we walked 30 blocks.

I don't get why we can't just call the office
and have a squad car come pick us up?

No, they took our shoes,
our guns and our car. There's no way this going out on the radio

If we gonna do this together,
there are some issues we need to settle, ok?

You said I had a weak chin, you said the way I peed in feminine.
How do you think that makes me feel? I mean,

That list you have, you put a lot of thought in. It's weird.

I hear you.

Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start

Allright, fresh start.

Maybe we should uh
call ourselves the Fabreeze Brothers, cause it's feeling so fresh right now

Right?
-- Instead of a fresh start, I just wanna punch you in the face

Fresh start

It's the last one
-- I have to be able to express myself and say things you know

Hey folks, everyone listen up
-- Listen up!

We got a high profile kidnapping.
David Ershon, wealthy banker.

Multinational team.
Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell

Hey, Double baggins, where are your shoes?
Your feet are black.

Who cares? It's not important ok?
-- Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good.

Bye, guys.
-- Come on.

This is Don Beaman, an attorney for Mr. Ershon.
Roger Wesley, head of his private security.

Hey, How are you, son of a bitch?
-- Hey, hey, hey

Take it easy. That's the guy who took our guns, Captain
-- And my shoes.

Wait a minute, did you identify yourselves as police officeres?
-- What is this?

Allen, tell me, did you?
-- No, we did not

Sorry gentlemen, we thought
you were abducting Mr. Ershon

It's only protocol.
-- Mr. Ershon has agreed to ...

correct this scathlic situation. Case is closed.
- I've taken care all the necessary paperwork ...

... and you fellas, this point, you just be glad that Mr. Ershon
is not pressing charges for an excessive use of force

Thank you Captain

Special Forces, right?

Just watch your step, detective
There are three things I love in this world

Kylie Minogue ...

small dimples just above a woman's buttiocks
-- Beautiful features

And the fear in the man's eye who knows that
I 'm about to hurt him

Hey, shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over.

Come on.

All right, they return your shoes.
And they your weapons. Here you go, Terry.

Allen, someone is nice enough to put lynseed oil on it. Some kind of stain on that.
Dark walnut or something. You may wanna think about dropping them a thank you note

Ok, you're mad at us, huh, Gene?
-- First off, don't call me Gene

I am your Captain

Guys, do you remember the "be smart speech"?
-- Sure

All right, what did you do?

What did you do about it?
-- The opposie. We were not smart, Captain Gene.

Just Captain. Just Captain.
It's not Captain Gene. I do not have a kitty show.

Sounds creepy, Captain Gene

Police mistakenly arrest investment
banker David Ershon.

Was he a victim of financial profiling?
-- Financial profiling?

That's crazy. He broke the law
and we arrested him.

There wasn't a security tape.
He said, don't let these people take me

I mean when you hear hooves,
you think horses not zebras.

What about donkeys or deer? They have hooves
What about bovan creatures?

Were you just thinking yourself a fresh start?
-- Yeah -- Yeah

I could see it

Listen, why don't we just go to my place, talk the case down,
we can have a little dinner and you can meet Sheila.

Two cops talking down the case while eating food, right? It is not dinner.
-- Fine

And let me apologoze in advance ok?
In case my wife acts like a world-class bitch

She is a big ol' broad and
she likes to wield it.

Ok, so I put together a little bio, complete with pictures
of Mr David Ershon.

I use uh Adobe Premier
I like to do a weekend editing
recently just cut 3 minutes out of Goodfellas

David Ershon, is currently the CEO
of Ershon Consortium.

Who is that talking?
-- It's a frontline narration app. It's only 99 cents.

Ershon Consortium's current
financial investment exceeds $70 billion

It's largest clients includes Schering Plough and
Lendl Global.

Lendl Global has those TV ads and I can't
figure out what they are doing

Oil, media, healthcare ...
You probably heard their jingle

Lendl Global with everything ...

David Ershon is often found in the company of
Judge Scalia and the lead singer of Maroon 5.

I mean this guy can be connected to
drug cartels. Or black market organ sales

Human trafficking, all of it
-- How do you get that from anything I just said?

Hey guys, the soup is on.
-- What do you mean?

Hi ..
-- Hi
-- You must be Terry. I'm sorry I've been hiding honey

... but this dinner was tricky.
-- Who are you?
-- I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife.

Come on, seriously, who is that?
-- His old lady.
-- Sweetie

It's a workstation

-- Got it
-- You come in here dressed like a hobo is just distracting
-- I know you are working. I am so sorry

Come on, seriously.

Who is that?
-- That's the old ball and chain

Get over here.

Not right now.
- Ok

Look, they're not all first round pick ok?
-- Come on, you're gonna tell me who that is?

Are you really Allen's wife?

Umm I know, people are shocked.
Because he is Episcopalian and I am Catholic ...

but, somehow it works.
-- Are you gonna change?

I already did.
-- It's no big deal. You look really really nice

Terry, you don't have to be polite.
She looks kind of shitty.

Don't speak to her like that, Allen.

Look, If I put that into my Cosmo questionnaire,
you got a D-

Allen and his abs. He loves them.
You know he has designed three of his own?

One of them, can I tell?

Take a picture of anybody's face and I'll tell you
how the back of his head looks like.

Face back.
-- I get some horrible reviews coiming out of the Gate.

It's gonna hit
-- It's gonna catch
-- Why are you with Allen?

I mean .. That is not what I meant ...

How did you guys meet?
-- It's a really typical how we met story, Terry.

You'd be bored by it
-- I was a dancer for the Knicks ...

while finishing my residency at
Columbia Hospital

Allen came in to the ER
with poison ivy on his rectum.
-- Yes

Needless to say, I fell for him immediately

It's funny .. It's like a scene from that one movie,
I always forget the name. With Meg Ryan.

I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan
met a guy with poison ivy on his ass.

I'll think of it
-- So what about you, Terry?

Do you have a girl?
-- I did, yes.

We almost got married but she backed out.
It's complicated.

Terry shot Derek Jeter.
-- Shut up, Allen. This was before.

That's okay.
-- She's Got Mail, that's the name of the movie.
-- That's it

With Tom Hanks? -- And Meg Ryan
-- Hi didn't have poison ivy up his ass.

Yes, he did
-- Way up there.

Well Terry, can't thank you enough for coming by.
What a wonderful lovely evening, thank you.

It was so so nice meeting today
-- My pleasure. Thank you.

And remember, all I ask of you is
don't let him get hurt, Terry.

She tells me that everyday before I leave.

I do, we come downstairs and make
him his fresh cut strawberries

And I say: Listen my little sugar bowls,
whatever you do today, you just don't get hurt

Every morning.
-- Then I show him my breasts and I say:

These are waiting for you when you get back home

You know Terry, they are not the biggest breasts I've ever seen, but ...

They are perky, and they are firm and they are yours.
-- You're a nice lady

Thank you for coming.
-- Detective Hoitz and Gamble. Detective Hoitz and Gamble. Over

We've found your Red Prius.
It's trying to vote for Ralph Nader

Come on.
-- Hey sugar bowls, listen up!

There'gonna be fingerprints in that car. And tomorrow,
we 're gonna run those fingerprints through the system

If we get a hit .. this case is gonna heat up faster
yan a junkie spoon

You do one thing when you wake up tomorrow ... bring it.
Thank you, Sheila.

He'll bring it. Good night.
-- Good night

Thank you, Sheila.
-- Bye, Terry

Bye, Sheila.

I will never forget tonight.
-- Bye, Terry.

Whatever, go inside.
Bye, Sheila.

Bye.
-- I see you, Terry.

Bye, Sheila
-- I do not know if he heard me.
Bye, Terry.

Bye, Sheila

Well, here she is.
They left her under an overpass for the night

Did you find anything?
-- Yeah, we found a lot of stuff

From bodily fluids and hair samples, we determined that
a bunch of old homeless dudes had an orgy in the car.

Oh God.
-- Yeah, you know whattaht's called when they do that in there?
It's called a soup kitchen.

It's pretty rough stuff

Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along,
and gave birth on the floor.

What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints?

No, couldn't get a one.
-- Found a cellphone
-- Yeah

that's mine
-- Any sign of a struggle or ... ?

No, believe me, everybody who was in on this orgy was more than willing.
In fact, they left you a note here .. Thanks for the F-shack

Love, dirty Mike and the boys

Here's something we found. We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets
No fingerprints no nothing. You want to check that out

It's a real shame you know. I got myself a Prius.
It's a hell of a machine

It's my first brand new car

I never owned a new car

Watch out, in the back there is was a baby mouse and a
used condom. Really gross

I have a free ticket

What are we gonna do? We got no fingerprints ...

a bunch of losing lottery tickets ...
-- Look at this, there was a two minute phone call made after we were jumped.

They used your phone?
-- A ghost dialled. Somebody sat on it

Could've recorded some of the conversation when Ershon got grabbed

We can hear the other side
of that call.

No, it's nothing.
-- Nothing?

It's Nothing! It's Nothing
-- It's the only thing we have
Why did you just get super jumpy?

What?
- It is an ex-girlfriend, ok?

What's the matter? What happened with you guys?
- She was just a bit of a handful. That's it

Xie xie.
- Here you go

Allen. The only lead we have, we have to go with this or
we walk away from this case right now

Fine. Let's go see her.

Hello, Christineth.
-- Hello, Allen.

This is my partner, Terry.
-- Hi, Terry.

Shit
- Take it easy.

I waited for you in Tower Record for
four hours

That was 13 years ago

Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert
Who wants some Arnie Palmie?

Sweetie, this one is the vodka right here
-- Hal, just please sit down please

Allrighty.
- I did things in bed with you that I haven't done with anyone since.

No.

Christineth, it's your husband, it's awkward
-- No, he knows

You're a lucky dog.
- It's true

Christina, this is a lovely house.
- It's Christineth, are you stupid or are you deaf?

Christineth! You idiot! You come to our house,
You get my wife's name right!

What?
- Christineth!
Look, we really appreciate the hospitality ...

and we would love to just get the message off your cellphone,
we believe it might give us an information regarding a kidnapping

Ok, Why don't you come to the kitchen and I will let you listen to it,
and everyone else stay here.

OK, sweetie
-- Come on.

Oh, there is my phone
- Great, thank you ...

I hate you. Son of a bitch!

What did I ever do? I hate you! I hate you!
You're so adorable, look at your face ...

Look at your face. You go: I love you. Say it!
I love you, Chirtineth

You probably think because of the beard that
I'm really hairy.

But that's not me.

But uh, I'm not. Shaved.
-- Allen!

Allen! Allen! This police evidence,
Terry, let's go!

Hey! You get back here.
You make out my wife.
- Allen!

I don't get it man.

I just do not get it.
I mean that girl was Christineth was seriously hot

Your wife is crazy hot

I mean even that Brazilian security chick, she was ...
I mean what is it with you and hot ladies?

First off, my wife is cute, she's not hot

Dude, you're insane, your wife is scolding hot.
-- Do you want to listen to this message or not?

Whatever
- You got one job mate, find a sucker ...

to invest with you so you can pay my boss back
the money you lost.

I don't care who, I actually think I found a sucker

They are talking to Ershon.
-- To invest 32 billion

Who's got 32 billion dollars to rob?
-- Once I got the money, I'll falsify the records ...

to show a massive losses then
you pay your employer

Now, since you're following me,
I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue

.. and after that 400 .. [disconnected]
-- I told you it wasn't a security team.

He was being abducted.
- Obviously, but what kind of ...

Nobody leaves the house, without making love to my wife!
- Holy shit! Let's go! - Yeah. He come out of nowhere.

That was 20 miles
-- You get back here!

2300 Park Avenue.
The offices of the lottery.

Holy shit! The lottery tickets we found.

Ershon is using the lottery money
to cover his losses. 32 billion dollars

That 's the state's money
-- What do we tell Mauch?

The guy lost his money. We have a sctechy cellphone message
and an address. We're still half a case.

There's got to be some sort of papertrail
If we find that, we can track it. Then we can go Mauch.

So, I did some more research on Ershon's accounting firm,
and I found some pretty interesting stuff.

It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has ...
Hold on, I am up ...

Gretchel and Dawson accounting firm
in Fairlawn, New Jersey has only one client, David Ershon

Pretty rinky dink operation for a guy like that.

Let's go to New Jersy and visit an accounting firm.
That's a shitty day.

Do you have fun singing those songs? they are really depressing.
- I do, they are full of rich history.

Damn it! I'm late, I'm supposed to call my lady
- I though you said you guys split up?

Let's just keep our thing about work, OK?
-- Allright, Good bye buddy.

Get off of me, man

What the hell are you doing?
- Dancing Terry, what the hell are you doing here?
- I love you, Francine.

If you were with me, you wouldn't be here in
this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills

This is a ballet studio, Terry, OK?
These poles are horizontal.

He loves you very much, Francine.
- Who is this guy?

What are you doing here, Allen?
- The code. I'm your partner.

I am here to support a friend
and a work colleague

Francine, is this guy bothering you?
-- Who's this? Your new boyfriend?

Great! You got a new boyfriend.
-- He is my dance partner, Terry.

Ok, I know that this is a big surprise but there are
other things in the world besides being a cop

Ok? And if you will excuse me. I'm gonna dance
-- You don't think I can not do this shit? Huh?

That was surprisingly good, Terry.
-- I love you, Francine.

You do not know what love is.
-- He loves you very much, Francine.

I heard it when he said it, thank you.

You know what you're doing to me? you're killing me inside,
and go light on me man

You run around like a crack dealing drug addicts.
- Terry!

He's right! It's not a proof of your behavior.
-- Can you please go? And you too creepy guy, standing in the door?

Let's go Allen

I think we all experienced
our own ballet today.

A ballet of emotion, feelings.
-- You're kind of making things worse.

Are you ok?
-- Yeah, I'm fine

See, I didn't knew you could dance.

We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys
when we were kids. Show them how queer they were. Ok?

You learn to dance like that sarcastically?
-- Yeah, I guess. Stay out of my personal life, OK? The kid fly is private

Stay focus on the case, man
See you in Jersey tomorrow

Allright, Terry. Hey, That was liberating for me.
I do not know how it felt for you.

Here. Check this out.
An article from six months ago.

It's talking about how the lottery is looking to
invest their 32 billion dollar fund more aggressively

So he's dealing drugs?
-- No! It's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice.

Hey, I got you a gift.
I just saw something and I though of you and so

I do not want it to be weird, I just want it to be nice.

Of course it's weird, it's a grown man
giving another man a present.

Here we go.
Open it up

It's Ok, you're welcome

I like to do things like that.
Take a look what it says.

F.B.I: Female Body Inspector.

You know, because we are both in law enforcement,
we both like women, but I got a weird sense of humor.

I'm a sick puppy. I can't look at it
It makes me laugh so hard

Me too.

Real nice, you know it's all class.

Ok.
- Don't do that shit anymore
- Yeah. Believe me I won't

Do you understand what so funny about it though?

Because it's the F.B.I., right? It has the same logo,
the same shield and at first glance you're like, oh, ...

It's just a mug that says FBI but at the second glance, you're like,
Female Body Inspector?

Get out of town. This is outrageous.
- Shut up!

I am gonna climb over that anger wall of yours one of these days
and it is gonna be boys

Shouldn't we tell Mauch, that uh we are checking this place out?
-- For what? We're just going to check it out

No, but it's procedure.
-- Terry answers to no one

I do what I do.

What accounting firm is closed
at 11 am on a Tuesday?

This is a shithole

I love bombs.
- I can't hear

There are blood blisters on my hands.

Oh God, How do they walk away in movies without fuzzy
with an explosion behid them? No way!

Cop's bullshit. All that

When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of
the Death Star, it was followed by explosion ...

That was bullshit.
-- Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars. That was all accurate.

I need an MRI
I have got soft tissue damage.

There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage

I just want to go somewhere
and breastfeed right now.

Firemen thouth it was a gas leak, but no way!
It was timed!

They don't want to kill us but they want to scare us.
-- O yeah, well, they succeeded, ok?

I'm tired of this.

Right? I am tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me.
I want to go back to my desk.

Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes
and messes with your ears.

You can't escape it by hiding in your desk your whole life

You know what? Yes, you can. I've done it for years.
Ok? There is no explosions at my desk.

There is no explosions at my home with my plain wife
in my plain house.

What are you afraid of man?

I'm your partner.
You can tell me. What the hell are you hiding from?

I was a sophomore in college.

University I went to decided they needed
to raise tuition

A classmate of mine, Brenda, in effort to raise money, and
stay in school came up with a nifty plan ..

where she thought she dates guys and
charge them money

I go out all the time with the whole bunch of you know boys.

And I kinda need somebody to help me out
Like, you know, My partner in crime.

Yeah, I can make a schedule
-- Yeah yeah yeah, that what I was thinking

Transportation services

Yeah. yeah. We'd be a good friend
-- Thanks so much.
-- She said she needed my help to make sure the dates went ok

That the guys paid her.
She said she'd give me a percentage

Oh my god, you were a pimp.
-- What? God, No.

No, just trying to help a friend

We started making a lot of money.

Before you know it, some of Brenda's girlfriends
decided they wanted to be a part of it

Pretty soom, there were about 14 ladies that I was protecting
while they gave me money.

That's called the stable horse

They decided I shoudnt use my real name

So we came up with the name Gator
-- I'm telling you, you were a pimp.

No, are you even listening to the story?

Anyway, one day I wake up and I look in the mirror
and I don't like what I see

I mean, I have gotten out of control
and I didn't even realize that

You can't have a conscience in the pimp game

One night, two of my favorite girls, Candy and Jolene,
said, We got to take you in, they dropped me off to the Emergency Room...

... that's where I met Sheila, I was a mess.

I made a promise to myself and to her, that I
would never get out of control again ...

So soon as I graduate from College, I became
an accountant for the police department

The most stable job I could think of

An accountant for law and order.

I just don't want to ever
feel out of control like that ever again

Don't worry. I got your back

I say we get Ershon grilled and see if he cracks
I'm tired of all this tippy toeing aroung

Ok

You can either walk the plan or take your panties off.
The choice is yours

You want to take my panties off?
-- You made a wise choice
-- Mr. Ershon, detective Gamble and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here.

Gentlemen, please

Remember us, hot shot?

Of course I do, please sit

[There she blows ...]

Two of those ... water please
No lime wedges, just cucumber

Guess where we just came from?
An explosion at your accounting office.

It's an awful gas leak
-- Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now

I just thank God no one was hurt,
or injured in a bad way.

I absolutely appal death
-- Hey Andrew Lloyd Webber, the jig is up, Ok?

You know there wasn't any security team that grabbed you,
we know you're targetting a big fish to cover losses

You talk or I beat you so we don't show no bruises

God, this water is good.

Terry, have you tried the water?

Shut up, Allen.

I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about.

I understand there's a bit of a mixed-up with
the whole scaffolding business

The cucumber accents the water in
such a way that ...

Perhaps, by a way of apology, I can offer you
my personal court side seat for the Knicks game with ...

... access to the Ambassador club

Come on, Knicks! Come on! I got Knicks' fever.
Catch him

Hey, it feels weird sitting here. Feels like it is a bribe.
-- It is a bribe

Son of a bitch! That's a court side and I went blind

Come on!
-- Call me!

That was a trick!
- No more.

Gentlemen, you have a choice,
Mamma mia or Jersey boys ...

Fantastic! Unbelievable!

Damn it! He did it again.

No more tickets!
-- Sorry sir, I ried to keep them in the waiting room.
-- That's Ok, Susan, uh, two glacier water with Mediterranian lime ...

No no, No more water! We're not here for that
-- I was very much looking forward to having the water.

How great is Jersey Boys?
-- It's not great.

It's fantastic.
You totally undersold it

The pageantry, the costumes.
Wow! What a musical

Hey, get over here

What's wrong with you? It's not what we're here for

We are gonna do good cop, bad cop.

Ok? The oldest game in the book for a reason. It works.

I'd come strong and you come in

I'm strong and you come in, Got it?
- Got it

Hey you listen to me, you piece of shit.
It's just you and me, and I'm gonna rip you apart

How did you cover your losses, huh?
What drug cartel are you working with now?

Ok, wait wait .. I'll talk to you. You're reasonable.
-- No no. Look at me!

Yup, You want to talk to me?

Allen, What are you doing?

I'm gonna make you a plate of human shit

Get away from me.

Look, I'm really sorry about that. I just uh ...

I saw how aggressive you were being and I thought,
Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that, since

we are doing bad cop, bad cop

What? No, I said good cop,
bad cop.

I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop
-- Ok, then there it is

I thought you said
bad cop, bad cop.

While you were going crazy,
look what I snatched from his desk.

I think it's his phone sheet
-- Oh nice!

Seven calls to
the lottery office

That would be the evidence
we need for Mauch
-- Yeah

Get back!, Colombian drug lords.
-- Where are you getting that from?

Can you imagine where you'de be in your career
if you hadn't shot Jeter?

Move!

We call this in, right?
-- Looks like we got all the evidence we need.

I'm sorry, my butterfly.

Load them up and send them back to ...

Shit!
-- What? -- What do you mean what?

Where are we?

We are in the high desert.

They took my shoes again man
What the hell is it with taking shoes?

They took your wooden gun?
-- Yeah

Hello!
-- Hello, Gene ... I mean .. Captain,
Captain, it's Allen Gamble.

Yeah yeah, where are you?
What's going on?

Captain, it's a long story but I am just gonna cut to the chase
We are in Las Vegas.

All right, we wre, we were kidnapped, put on a freight train
and shipped out here

Let me just stop you right there. Don't bullshit me.
-- Captain, I am being straight with you. Look.

We think something is going on, ok? We think Ershon
is targetting the lottery to cover his losses

How many times that I explicitly say to you:
Lay off Ershon

Terry, Captain wants to know how many times
he asked us to lay off Ershon

Twice.
-- Twice. Terry says twice. I agree.

I'm hanging up. I am done.

I got to tell you I am starting for get a hand to that ... a taste for that pie girl

Martin and Fossi, super cops.
-- In three, two, ... We busted that junkie ...
- Uh huh

Got back 74,000 diamonds. 74,000.
-- Boom -- Solved the Castian case

74,000? Dollars? That's all they took? There is millions of dollars of diamond in there
-- How about this?How about you shut your face

All right? Just shut it
-- Hoitz. Gamble. Captain's looking for you.

Captain? -- Yeah?
-- Is it a bad time? -- No

Come on, come on
-- Not me right? -- Yes, and you

Fellas, I'm sure you're uh familiar with the
venerable DA Radford, he come sto pay us some visit

Hello gentlemen. -- Hello sir
-- Hey -- You know I was talking to Gene here

He prefers Captain.
-- Yes, I was talking to Gene here and you know what's funny?

I don't know what you two have been up to,
but I've been getting calls from people I don't ever get called from

In 40 years, I've been enforcing the law, I've learnt one thing.
When that happens. Stop.

Gene, how's the family?
-- Good, Louis. Thanks for asking

My son is bisexual.
-- Tremendous

Gentlemen, do we understand each other?
Cut the crap

Will do.
-- That guy never comes down here.
20 years, I think I've seen that guy only one time

He is a headway cap, that guy
-- He was sitting right here.

Yeah. I think you miss the point. Anyway, look,
blue and white found your firearms down by the Hudson River

Here you go Terry. You know what?
I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun

to gove me back my real gun?
-- No.

We're going to give you this.
It's a rape whistle.

You blow that if you're in any trouble.
Someone with an actual gun will come and help you out

We were abducted, Captain. This shit is real.
Ershon is dirty, he's targetting the lottery

Next, I want you guys to hand in all the evidence,
you think you have to the S.E.C. That's under their jurisdiction.

Don't you get it? This case is talking to us.
I'm a peacock, Captain. You got to let me fly on this one.

You know what Terry? Let's just settle this

Peacocks don't fly. -- They fly a little. They got a real running start
-- As much as a penguin.

One more thing, do me a favor. Don't go chasing waterfalls.
-- Is that an accident or you're trying to quote TLC on purpose?

I don't even understand your reference.
-- You don't understand what you said?

I don't know what that is, get out.
-- Whatever.

How did they got that story?

I'm tired of being treated like a jerk
for trying to do the right thing

Hey guys, there is a proxy vote for big reinvestment
bit, pension coming up

So, if you just wanna come by ...
-- Damn it, Bob.

Let me ask you something.
What do you even do around here besides interrupt people?

Well, I served as a treasurer for the union
I make a pot of decaf

Exactly, you're a worthless piece of shit.

You're probably right, Terry.
It's why I feel so sad all the time.

I'm gonna go for a walk.
-- Say something.

Come on, Bob. I didn't mean it, allright?

I'm upset.

These roast ribs taste like a dog's asshole
-- Honey!

I'm sitting here thinking, who in the Who would slow roast a dog's asshole
and serve it to their husband?

You would
-- You're being awful

What's wrong?
-- Captain took us off the case

I am sorry

I told Terry about my
dark days in college and I ...

it brought up some feelings.
-- Haoney, that was a long time ago.

You are not that same person anymore

You don't get it. There's a darkness inside of me.
It wants to get out and wants to walk around.

It wants some walking around money
and it wants to buy some shoes ...

and it wants to walk up to the people
and say Hey, Gator don't play no shit

You hit you feel me? Gator never been about that
never been about playing no shit

Sweetie, I'm sorry.
-- It's okay.

Remember that night we met?

The attendinh physician told me
We have a drugged out pimp in the back

And I went back there
and I pulled open that curtain ...

and I saw you. You were weak.

Scared, ass-up, enflamed, crying and at that moment
I knew, Hey, he's no pimp.

Pimps don't cry.

Pimps don't cry ...

Pimps don't cry ... No they don't

They don't shed a tear.
Pimps don't cry ...

They never shed a tear.

Come lay with me and be safe
and let's make love. Come on

Every time you say 'be safe'. It tears me apart
Yougot to let me be who I'm gonna be.

Allen, I'm pregnant.

Whose baby is that?
Who's the man who did that to you?

Gator's bitches better be using the jimmies

I am sorry
See, That's what I am talking about.

Oh my God, you need to leave. Get out!

Get out, Allen.

Get out!

Hey -- Hey
-- What are you doing here?
When I have lady troubles, I usually come here almost every night.

What are you doing here?

Sheila and I got into it tonight.

She threw me out.

Youy're not a cop until you;re thrown out of the house, partner

Does it bother you that the Castion robbery
only tooks $74,000 of diamonds?

They are junkies.
Who cares.

No junkie can go down a 20-story zipline

Hey fellas, How are you doing?

We are about to have us a little scoop party
in the red Prius over here if you want to join us

Are you Dirty Mike and the boys?
-- How do you know who we are?

You left a note in that car.
-- Police, shithead

The are cops. We gotta go. Come on!
Hey, peace shitboys. They're Cops.

You turned my beautiful Prius
into a nightmare.

We are gonna have sex in your car.
It will happen again.

I don't know where I am gonna sleep tonight.
-- Depend on what you're gonna be drinking. Jack of all trades

Drinks on me, come on.
-- No, I already have a beer.

No no no, I'm talking about doing some serious drinking
Drink with Terry Hoitz.

It's kind a sucks man. We worked our ass off on this case,
now we got to hand over all the evidence?

Yeah. That is not right
Oh my god, I'm hungover

You guys in law enforcement?

Yeah, we are an independent goverment agency
who longed with the F.B.I and the Federal Reserves ...

regulate stock markets and corporate fraud

And the Federal Reserve is the prison?

No, basically it is a held for profit bank
that sets interest rates and moves money to other banks.

Is that a waste basket?
-- Yes, right there.

Thank you

You, all right?

I am sorry. I got so drunk last night I think
I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food

Come on in, fellas

You gotta be kiddingme.
You're Ershon's lawyer.

We are turnign over our investigation to you?

Let me assure you, There will be no conflict of interest
between me and David Ershon.

And if this were an actual investigation,
I would immediately recuse myself

This is all the evidence we have
I truly hope you take this seriously.

Yes, very much so

From everything I've heard I understand that you guys are the best
in these types of investigations

Outside of Enron and A.I.G.
and Bernie Madoff.

Worldcom. Bear Sterns. Lehman Brothers
-- Ok, Thank you. Thank you, detective.

Would you like a sit?
-- No, I'm good. -- Ok

Let me just assure you, fellas,
David Ershon is an upstanding citizen

I'm playing squash with him tonight at the club,
and we're having dinner

You listen to me you wisenut wimp monkey
You play squash with Ershon right?

Your kids going to school with his?
How do you know if he's clean or not?

I will take a look at your evidence,
and I will take a second look at their financials

And when I come back, bust your ass, we're locking
David Ershon in the Federal Reserve.

He still don't understand the concept

What are you doing?

We just handed all of our evidence
over to the bad guys' lawyer.

Are you a big man?
I am talking to you.

What? You wake up in the morning and
deicded to put your big boy pants?

Look, I'm wearing a belt.
I got big boy pants on

Stop.
-- We don't do that

You're scaring the shit out of me man. Stop it
-- Is that how you conduct yourself?

In a democracy?
-- What the hell are you doing man ?

I'm so tired of you getting
angry and yelling all the time

It's exhausting.

It's like I'm partner with the Hulk.
-- You wanna know why I'm so angry all the time?

because the more I try to do right,
the more I screw things up.

We've got a possible jumper at
3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor.

All units, Firemen en route
-- The S.E.C.

Beaman's office.
-- We have to go.

But the Captain ..
-- We have to go.

All unit, I need a respond, possible jumper,
3 World Financial Center.

Shit! Beaman. He's got to know something.
-- Wesley.

Detective Hoitz and Gamble,
We got this

I took an online class at
University of Phoenix on negotiating ...

I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn

We got no bullhorn
-- Does anyone have a bullhorn?

Hey, Police business, I need to use your P.A. system.
-- Ok, let me turn it on

Mr. Beaman?
-- ... -- Mercy

I know Ershon's Wesley.

There is a lotto live for in this life.

Lot of great days like uh sodapop, fresh can of sodapop
-- I do not care.

Give me that. I know how to talk to him.

Listen, we all know that you're scumbag
and nobody cares about you

That's worse than what I was saying.
I'm not going to lie to you, Don

People down here started to murmur
that you don't have the balls to do it

I don't care
-- Yeah, I say you can do it

I mean I don't want you to jump but you have the capability

Oh look he's flying

Stop it.

Half empty bottle of gin, chair knocked over, look at this, it's a clear sign
of struggle

Make sure you got this, allright?
-- Detective.

All your work is done here. You can go.
-- What about Ershon targeting the lottery?

You know why Ershon was calling down
to the lottery office all those times?

He's got to be hooking up with the Powerball girl
She was on TV with all the numbered balls.

Yeah, she filed a restraining order on him
last week.

It was right there in front of you the whole time
You guys are getting transferred.

What?
-- Traffic.

Yeah, that's right. You, You gonna walk a beep downtown
You gonna walk a beep downtown. It's done

-- But Captain?
-- No no no, It's done

Save yourself some gas
-- Captain!

Is there an appeal process we can .. ?
-- Got to do what you got to do Captain

Ouch.
-- Wow. That hurts

Excuse me? Where's my car?
-- They towed it. A couple of homeless people were messing around in it

That's an official police car
-- You could've fooled me

Mauch is upset huh?
-- Really?

The only thing I had to be proud of in my life was being a detective
that was all I had.

Now it's gone.

I know, you still got me.
-- Don't you get it? I don't want you Allen. Ok?

I never did. I told you that scaffolding violation
was dogshit

I can't believe you still doubt me,
after everything we've seen

It is a real case
and I'm a real cop.

We just got the wrong target
for Ershon

You carry a rape whistle.
-- This is real cop work.

There's nothing about you
that makes a man a man.

Ok? You got no gun, no car,
no wife and now you got no partner

Leave me alone.

A mud case
-- Terry, I'm a cop, for your information, ok?

A broken partnership.
-- I'm a cop.

And getting busted down to a shitty assignment
Allen and Terry hit the trifecta

But sometimes when you get your ass kicked...

that's when you find that what's real.

And what needs doing

Whether it's directing traffic ...

or cracking a multi billion dollar fraud

Do you work here?
-- Yes, I do

The wrecking ball, the crash in the Castian down there,
they don't send the damage to your office?

Some police officers came by and
shield it off

You know what they look like?

One of them had an Australian accent.
-- You don't happen to do any business with the state lottery, do you?

No, my main client is Lendl Global
Can I ask what is this about?

Gator needs his gag, you punk ass bitch!

Because That's what a real cop is

I never said to lock her up

A guy who does
what needs to be done.

A guy who knows how to use dark side
for good.

And then you move to Florida.

One, two, three, attack.
-- Whoa

It's me, Allen.
-- Tap on. Tap on

Are you tapping off? You're hitting me in the face.
-- I'm tapping it off.

Are you crazy?

What are you doing man? I almost killed you.
-- Turn off the lights.

What?
-- They should be watching us.

Who?
-- I found some great information.

About what?
-- Somescary shit Terry, this is big

How did you get in here?

We can not be too careful.
-- What are you talking about?

This house might be bugged
-- There's no bugs in here.

First off, I missed you.
-- What's going on?

Did you hear what I said?
-- Fine, I kind a missed you too

Thank you. I've found out whose losses
Ershon has to cover

It's Lendl Global
-- What?
Lendl staged the Castian robbery as a distraction

so they can break into their own accounting firm next door

They did alter all the records to cover the losses that
Ershon had cost them through all these bad investments

You're not supposed to be doing this

You're supposed to be walkingthe beat

I know. Pretty tricky though, huh?
-- This is bad, Allen.

This is bad, no wonder the Captain
wanted us to stay out of this

I bet Beaman started asking question
and that's why they killed him

You see, Tomorrow, there's a massive business deal going down
Ershon's leading it

Let's go tap the ground who the poor sucker they're
making the deal with, but we got to stop it

It's about time the peacock fly.
-- I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do.

So do I. We're cops
-- No, I like what I do now

I like working traffic, it's a great gig
-- What?

I like working traffic,
I am not going with you.

Traffic? Bullshit

What are you talking about?
-- I'm talking about my life.

The corner around the 54th and third Avenue,
It hums, it is Terry's intersections

And the traffic guys,
they are good guys.

There's one guy, Phillip, he can pee in the urinal
from twenty feet. You got to see it Allen, you got to

What happened to you?
What happened to this being our time?

No way Allen. I am out
I'm done

Get in the car.
-- Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden

Apartment pop, now get in the car
-- You are not gonna shoot me.

Ok, I'll be honest. This is the the second time I ever fired this
-- So stop pointing it at me

Look, Tomorrow morning all I know is I am going to Mauch, all right?
-- Or what? He doesn't care

He's been dodging this case for too long and
I want answers. I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why.

Turn on the news man, nobody cares
-- I hope I'm not alone.

Hope you bring it

We have big day out there. Big one. We got a full moon.
People arew gonna be amped

All right? Let's see what we've got on hot tips, allright?

The new bath mats are in

One more thing. We got a serial rapist
in Crown Heights.

Taht's for my other job.
Ignore that, forget it.

Well don't ignore it if you live in Crown Heights.
You know, walk in pairs

Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories
-- Ok. I got to go. GO get them. Let's be careful out there

I would like to keep the oak together,
and the maples separately, ok?

And this chopping boards ...
-- Hey Captain!

Hey Allen, hey , how are you doing?
What are you doing here?

Are you here for the bath mats?
-- I need you to be straight with me.

Or, straight with us.
-- Terry. Watch this now.

You could work in traffic today.
-- Hey, Terry, look at this.

I thought you're working traffic today?
-- Got them blocked the box. Besides, the partner's code, right?
-- Thanks.

Why have you worked your ass off
Trying to kill this case?

Allright, fine! I'm gonna tell you guys something
You 've really went into deep water on this one.

You've really went deep. Ershon's connected
with all higher ups.

And I gotta save what little ass I have left, ok?

You know, you keep hiding from shit in the world,
and eventually the world comes to your front door.

Nice! -- That's very nice!
-- I heard it in an episode of Touched by an Angel.

You keep this thing real quiet and you make sure you have real evidence,
And maybe I'll see what I can do ...

but if you make a lot of noise and
you attract the media attention ...

then you bring the DA in on this,
I am out, okay?

We're going in there like church mice. There is one case,
one case in your career you go all in. This is it.

Allright, the you do us proud.
Because I do not want those scrubs

Really?
-- No.

You're not aware that's a TLC song
-- I have no idea what are you talking about

You said Chasing Waterfalls, you saying I don't want no scrubs.
-- I don't even understand those reference -- Like a tick

I have no ide what you're talking about but
Remember ...

this thing gets messy,
We never talked.

You can trust us.
-- Real quiet, you got to creep

Come on, you don't say Creep Creep unless
you're quoting TLC

Hey guys, you know Danson and Highsmith
were not good cops, right?

Yeah I guess we kinda knew that. But it's a drag
I mean, at a certain point, who's left to be a hero?

Not to be corny
Maybe it's you guys

Are you ready?
-- Yes.

The highligts are great.
-- Thank you.

Sexy but serious.
-- Thank you.

Who the hell are all these people?
I was only expected one man.

You know, just some people I owe money to
-- Then let's be here

Who are they?
-- Patriots, entrepreneurs and the black chaps are some
businessmen from Nigeria

You are out of money to the Nigerian ...

Yes, yes I do

You're a piece of work

Thank you.
It'd be best to start it

This is good,baby, we're in the game
and we know the score.

It kinda bugs me that we still don't know
who Ershon is targeting

Is it the lotto? Who is it?
-- Who cares.

Some rich prick

I had to tell you I'm tremendously excited
about this deal.

I can assure you that every dime of your money
will be invested with the utmost diligence

The returns are really exciting.
I think our members is gonna be just thrilled

It made about 18 percent over
the last ten years

Quiet as a church mouse.
In and out

You know I got tingling in my balls
you were talking about -- Beautiful

Allright, listen up, I am detective Gamble and this is detetctive Hoitz
We need your cooperation.

David Ershon, you are under arrest
for fraud ...

embezzlement and the connection
to the murder of Don Beaman
-- Bad Idea

Hey guys! -- Bob, what are you doing here?
-- I'm investing.

Remeber I talked about that proxy vote a while back?
This is what it was for

Holy shit! It's more aggressive investment
strategy for the pension,

Allen, we are the suckers. They are targeting
the police pension fund

Gentlemen, you are here illegally and without a warrant.
We are within our right to take action.

So much for quiet as church mice.
-- Go.

Who the hell are those guys?

Gentlemen, I can give you obstructive view
tickets for "Rock of Ages"

But even I admit, that's not very tempting,
I'm not made of tickets, God damn it

Shoot him.
-- Jamie go get over here. You, go get the bloody car.

That's it mate, I have had it
with this joker and his wooden gun

They gonna killme and then they will kill you.
-- I'm gonna kill you first.

And then they will kill me.
-- We got two rogue police officers

They're armed and dangerous and holding David Ershon hostage
-- Guys, we are good guys.

Exactly, they are the good guys.
-- Where do we go? where do we go?

I have a small apartment
no one knows about it

I use it mainly for my parents and prostitutes.
Not at the same time, that would be wrong.

Let's hear it from the top,
every detail.

It is the best to tell the storis by starting from the end.

Briefly and then go back to the beginning.

Then periodically returned to the end, maybe giving
different characters perspective throughout

Just a bit of dynamism, Otherwise it will be a linear story.
-- Just tell us what happened.

I lost a bunch of money from some people,
and now they want it back.

What about Don Beaman?

Beaman knew that I'd fasify my financials
so they sent down Wesley to ...

try and keep him quiet.

They forced him at gunpoint to drink a bunch of gin
and force him onto the ledge

It was just a matter
of time before he fell.

At least we stop you
from getting the pension fund

Well, you didn't, it's already in my account
and by 9 o'clock in the morning

it gets into the Lendl equity fund then from there
it's transferred to a dozen of offshore accounts

by 9.01 it's gone

What if we stop the transfer?
-- But you can't

What if we stop the transfer?
-- You have to be at the endemic bank at 9 o'clock exactly

Find the clerk, get the routing number
-- We got to stop it

There's no way! I mean every cop,
the crazy Australian and his crew?

They all be after us

You could, let me go, and I'll give you $10 million each.

It's not a bribe.
-- Of course, it's a bribe. You're offering to pay us money to not do our job

It's not a bribe.
-- We're hanging over here tonight

Nobody knows about this placxe. We'd be safe

And tomorrow we hit it

First thing first, I got to go see Sheila
-- No way, it's too dangerous

Look, Terry, we don't know what's gonna happen to us tomorrow
but tonight, I need to make things right with Sheila

Allright, go! Go! Be careful
-- Thanks I will

You say hi to Sheila for me?
-- Ok

Tell her, say, Terry was asking about you

make sure you know that I'd be there for you
if anything happens

Yeah, drop of a hat. I'm there
-- It's starting to get a little weird man

If something happens to you, I need to be there to take care of her

All of her wants, her needs and desires are now my responsibility
-- Why do you say it like it's a pre-determined thing?

Just go, man
-- Ok. Thanks --Go!

Chenko Gallery
-- Francine, it's Terry, please don't hang up

Please pick up. -- Hello
-- Hey Sweetie, I was praying you be at your mom's house

You know what, I can't talk anymore,
I think the phone is being tapped

Oh, baby, where are you? I wanna see you
--I am near the place where we did it 3 halloweens ago, do you remember?

Umm, ok, yeah I got it

I just want you to know, watch out, I think they are
watching the house

Don't worry sweetie, I think I have a way
of getting to you

I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come,
I mean, after all those years, after the restraining order

That was why I wanna see you again

Just the old lady

Hello Allen,
-- Hello Mama Ramos. What are doing out here?

Sheile said she doesn't know what happened and she wants you back

She also says she wants you on top of her

Holding her hair and riding her like a bucking brand ...
sucks your thumb and says, Mami likey

You tell your daughter

He said, he'll always love you, and he's so happy that
you're having his child

Allen -- He also says that he wants you to stare into each other eyes
without blinking while you do it

and then afterward, lick the sweat off each other

I don't wanna do this

You say things that are too personal
-- Ok

BGut just one more thing

Se said she loves you

and wants to hold your hand and has ice tea with you

Come on! That's not all she said

She says other things
-- Please, you don't realize i Might be killed tomorrow

Ok. Shae says she wants to unplug all the clocks
and the phones and have a three day sex marathon

That's more like it. Yeah

She wants to ... for a week because you guys did it so hard

She's lovely
-- No more! He says things I can't say

It involves a mannequine hands and electric shaver
taped to a golf club

Now what she say?
-- She says she loves you

I'm so sorry. About everything.
I just had to come here tonight and tell you that I love you

And the reason why I act like you are a plain wife
is that I am afraid if I admit to how stunning and intelligent and how wonderful you are ...

I just loose you

Shut up, Allen! I love you.
-- We have a place that's safe

I wanna break your hip

I am about to do you grandpa style

8:36 AM
24 MINUTES TO BANK TRANSFER

I brought some music

Not what I would have chosen. But allright
-- Let's go, Monday morning. Time to go to work

Let's do it
-- You want my gate code?

Shut up man

That's Wesley.

Yes

Where did you learn to drive like that?
-- Grand Theft Auto.

They're coming.

Faster, Allen.
-- Hold on. Hold on

Someone has been playing Grand Theft Auto.

Boom. I did that

Oh my God, that's what I'm talking about
-- We jackknifed them
-- You see that? It went backwards and then turned upside down.

Gator took vans upside down,
lika a crazy washing machine.

Why are you calling yourself Gator?

It's a nickname I had in college
I used to run a dating service.

He was a pimp.
-- Yes, I was a pimp.

Right now, the street are a bloodbath.
Statistically speaking, there's about 30 kids in here, 10 of you will be dead before
your next birthday

Got a couple of tips, helped the guys stay out of the jail.

One, Try your hardest to not be black or hispanic

It's a good tip.
-- Two.

Gentlemen, we got a hot one. Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage.
High speed car chase in progress.

Yes, gun, gun! Pass up the gun. Let's go people
-- Here we go

Okay, any tazers?
No? Good.

Who wants to go on a ride along?

Huh? Huh? Allright, you sweetie. COme on. Let's go
-- Move!

Oh cool, a helicopter.
Must be covering the high speed chase

Who are those guys?
-- That Chatson and Westes.

We went an Chechen version of Dora the Explorer

It went terribly wrong.

It seems like it's unfair that
they have a helicopter.

Damn it.

God your hair is soft. -- I use hot oil.

They are gonna wreck us twice. coming from both directions

We're not gonna wreck

I'm going to wreck, you're right
-- What do you mean right?

This is a very clever idea
-- Yeah

Holy god.
-- Let's go.

They are Nigerians.
Yeah, I forgot about that

This is a shortcut
-- Are you kidding me? You can not go down there.

What are you doing?

Hit him.

Where are we?
-- Chelsea Pier.

What the hell?

They are having a helicopter is definitely cheating

Go.

We are cops, hit the chopper

It's Martin and Fossi.
Back off and stop calling.

Setting he perimeter, no arrest until we get there

Hit the light

Do not authorize that transfer. This is David Ershon.
The transfer is for him. He will tell you not to authorize it, ok? Tell him

Tell him!
-- Do as they say, stop the transfer.

Approve it
Now.

Do not touch anything!

Swear to God, I'd blow your head all over this desk
-- Not a person in this room believes you'll shoot this Clerk

Oh yeah? Thank you so much, gentlemen, for the prompt delivery
of Mr. Ershon.

I have two competing bids from
jilted investors.

They're at 30 million.
And holding

No, wait.
-- Take him away

But computers.

What if one day they were in charge?

If you don't shut up, I will cut your rear off
with a butter knife

That's blunt. Blunt's worse.

You just stood there.
-- I didn't know. How was I supposed to know that?

I knew it, man.

You kill us, we kill Ershon
and you lost $30 million

Who's got the golden goose now, huh?

He is still valuable with a bullet wound, mate

You immediately called your bluff
-- Get up, and kill the police.

I just want to make sure I get it right
Did you this transfer approved?

Or not approved?
-- Here, mate, I wanna kill just for fun.

Police, don't move
Drop your weapons.

Drop it.
Or be dropped, tall boy

Hope you like prison food. And penis.

Police satnd on the ground.

Hey, hey, you ok?
-- Hey Gene ... Captain, I'm sorry.

That's ok. Don't worry about it.
You can call me Gene when we're not in office.

Thanks for coming by
-- Attaboy

Oo, hey, come on, stay with me.
We're losing him. He's dying.

No, I'm just resting
-- Did I hurt you?

Just resting

Hey, let me tell you something,
As far as the paperwork goes, we'll take care of it

You know why? -- Why?
-- I'm not too proud to beg.

Come on.
-- What?

That's not funny anymore.
-- I do not know what you're talking about.

TLC references.
-- Still nothing, I swear to you

I'm gonna go over and check on Terry.
I have a bad knee, hold on.

It was the king of the mud cases

But Allen and Terry
have worked it like stars.

Within 24 hours learning about Ershon's scheme and
Lendl's massive losses ...

the government issued TARP fund to bail out
Lendl

Lendl is in everything and we're gonna go everywhere ...
-- They were too big to fail.

Ershon now resides in Palamino correctional facility in Florida

Still invests,
currency is just different

Roger Wesley was linked to the Beaman murder
by a security cam footage ...

which Martin and Fossi hadn't checked

It only showed the back
of their heads

But Allen's face back app was able to get a match
to their faces

Terry married Francine, he played
Harp at the reception and it was beautiful.

He learned how to play it in 8th grade to
make fun the fairy that lived up the street

Terry asked Sheila to be his best man,
but she declined

Let's be honest, we all want to be
superstars and hotshots, But guess what ...

the people that do the real work.
The ones that make the difference ...

you don't see �m on TV or on the front page.

I am talking about the day in day outers,
the grinders, come on man, you know what I'm talking about...

The other guys ...

Goldman Sachs, this case is gonna be nasty

Hi, cute glasses.

What was that?
-- What?

Dude, What is it with you and hot ladies?
What's your secret?

Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about

Tell me who you lost your virginity to?
-- She actually became a TV actress.

Heather Locklear.
-- What, Heather Locklear?

You've heard of her?
-- Come on.

She was much chubbier back then
-- I don't get it