Original subtitles

good morning it's a sunny November

Friday and hey it's a week before

Thanksgiving and believe it or not only

five weeks until Christmas and that

means only five more chances for you to

win so call now and if you're our 55th

caller

you'll be one of this week's lucky

people eligible to win our weekly

holiday vacation giveaway a trip for two

to beautiful Playa del Carmen Mexico so

call now for that special stocking

stuffer for that special someone

hello hi oh my god I can't believe I got

through hi my name is Hilary bird oh

it's my fiancee calling just can you

just hang on one second don't go

anywhere okay Jason I got through to the

radio station hang on hang up hi hey

there hi okay yes my number is um five

five five eight six five six yes okay

thank you thank you what Oh my favorite

Christmas song yet that's easy

um it's Gloria you know angels we have

heard on I okay thank you we are finally

in the running for a trip to Mexico it

could be our honeymoon

what Mexico Hilary we have palm trees

and sand here

Hilary's are you there honey it's mom

hang on hang on it's my mom on the

machine once I need to know is that

fiance of yours will eat yam I've never

met anyone who would turn down my yam

casserole but Hilary call me honey she

wants to know if you like yams do you

like yams don't you

hey that's not next weekend is it yes

honey that is traditionally Thanksgiving

weekend I don't know if I can do it now

I have three cases I have to research I

have a hearing who are not bailing on me

again I promised my mother that you we

finally meet you I mean seriously there

sure you think I made you up okay fine

but I have to bring work with me they

have Wi-Fi yes Oh their play my favorite

Christmas song listen what

oh gotta go

yes mr. Chappelle yeah hello hello okay

I'm a little freaked out that you picked

this assignment can we've just done that

safe little loose felis Street bear

Sophie this is the real deal

these people they lost their livelihoods

their savings at home you should be

hungry for a story like this well it's

after 2:00 and all I'm hungry for is

lunch let's eat

I can't take back a date Jason's taking

me out to dinner screw that man is a

serious snag his own line dating profile

would be so perfect no one would believe

it tall dark handsome lawyer who's

responsible and financially sound please

and I finally have a man that they call

holidays I don't have to listen to my

mother preach to me about how I'm gonna

be a spinster or lesbian or both oh wow

that's just sad well these he's employed

he's our first interview come on let's

go oh hi excuse me Oh my name is Hillary

Byrnes I'm with the host Park Harold can

I ask you a few questions

good is this your full-time job I think

is my full-time job I'm sorry really I

can't hear you in there yeah yeah hi

I said acting is my full-time job and

today I'm playing a large cell phone

yeah oh crap I knew it

come on we gotta go back to the office

right now why what's going on the paper

went bankrupt it's shutting down why

well actually the readership of books

newspapers and magazines has been on

decline for years

cell phone guys right Prince kid so do i

Prince great

I need that job I mean it's not even a

real job anyway right it was just some

part-time thing what does it matter I

don't know did you read the piece I did

last month about the local pound uh yeah

sure we saved like a hundred animals

being euthanized well you know when

we're married you're not gonna have to

work I want to work fine

you can busy yourself throwing benefits

and fundraisers for every single dog

pound kennel and petting zoo and a

hundred mile radius in Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh a new VP position opened up

in our Pittsburgh office and I guarantee

I am the top pick for this position why

because I have my priorities straight

and I'm ruthless and sharp l knows it I

approve a name time and time again that

I'm not afraid to make the tough

decisions and that's what brings the

money in okay so if you get this

promotion we'll be moving to Pittsburgh

sure why not it's where the money is

because all our friends are here my

family's here and we have a life here am

I gonna do in Pittsburgh

be my wife you're such a good lawyer I'm

sure there'll be other promotions right

um no maybe something closer to home

right I have to get this mr. sharp al

yes I've already looked it over and you

can consider it done

I've already cooked with the entire

place

I'm not letting him keep one foot out

the door hey do not have Wi-Fi internet

forget it no I'm not eating and badge

late night snacking will not make me fat

okay I gotta go see you next weekend

love you bye

oh maybe we should set a date now that

I'm not working I actually have time

playing a wedding what do you think

about March or April spring weddings are

always the prettiest plus you get the

nicest flowers but then there's always

the rain you think we should get our

kids baptized I mean I'm not really here

they're about it I guess we can let them

make their own decision and then we'll

guide them of course

oh we're not circumcision I was watching

this documentary about it and they say

it's more hygienic but I'm not really

sure I don't think this is gonna work

what the baptism of the circumcision us

Hilary I don't think we're gonna work

what look I need a partner in life a

wife who's going to go I need to go and

do what I need to do and be excited

about my accomplishments I can't get

dragged down by somebody who's out

saving dogs and cats and God knows what

else

Jason is this about moving to Pittsburgh

him I'll move to Pittsburgh

look I just I have to stay focused and

mobile to advance in my career I gotta

keep my priorities straight believe me

this is one of those tough decisions but

it's for the best for both of us I just

I can't make a mistake not now

whatever couple mistake just I have to

get this just-just-just governing no no

that is exactly

he's a jerk I knew he was too good to be

true maybe my mom was right maybe I let

him keep one foot out the door oh god I

have to go and listener go on and on and

on about how she's always writing I'm

always gonna be alone maybe he just got

cold feet I think would you even still

want him if he came back ah getting in

the holiday mood love that song all

right it's time to pick the winner for

this week's kjw n weekly holiday

vacation giveaway and the lucky winner

is Hillary Byrnes oh my god you want a

double um website

oh my god you want all of my sisters

found perfect men and I can't even get

one in the door is that it is that what

would make you happy right now to bring

home a man for Thanksgiving I just can't

go home all alone I just can't face it I

can't do it not now ah it's my mother

happy holidays everybody

okay look all you have to do just post

this with a flirty little intro video of

your pretty face and voila fake fiance

needed for Thanksgiving dinner must be

mother friendly two first-class tickets

to Playa del Carmen Mexico for services

rendered I am NOT giving away my tickets

what are you gonna honeymoon alone I

thought you come with me yeah okay and

sit around and watch you cry over too

many margaritas no thanks all you have

to do is click I'll help you do the

video

you really think it's a good idea to

bring a stranger home or possibly a site

go to my parents house for Thanksgiving

Quinn's a cop we'll have him do a

background check your brother is a

security guard

the woman is relentless Hillary I just

wanted you to know I planned a small

family gathering at the house when you

and Jason arrived I just hope we won't

be disappointed again Trish and Gil have

canceled their trip to France to be here

and joy a Peter are coming and everyone

is so excited to meet the elusive fiance

of yours does Jason prefer dark or white

meat I hope he eats the dark being at

Hill and Peter why that would make you a

nice family of course if he preferred

Whitey's welcome to my chair although it

would be polite okay thanks to your

video I am Hillary and I just got dumped

yesterday less than 24 hours ago so uh

you can imagine I'm kind of a mess I

must be out of my mind doing this buddy

right how much cut cut cut he'll I just

want something to work out hi hi okay hi

I'm Hillary and I need a man for

Thanksgiving badly I need a man so badly

that I'm willing to do anything and I

mean anything

so creepy I got the shivers hi Mexico hi

my name is Hillary and although this

might seem a little crazy okay a lot

crazy I need to hire a fake fiance to

bring home to my family for Thanksgiving

in return you will receive two free

first-class tickets to Playa del Carmen

Mexico so just record a quick video

intro post to this page and we'll get

back to you

thank you how is that really good yeah

yeah really good

it's nuts

whoa but who is it Corrine I can't

believe it

I knew it would work

look at all of these alright

Mexico's got some serious weights man I

mean after the weekend's over Hill in to

serve Sun sir II sir and sir some more

whoa can I have him these days the

single scene is so hard where you're

going to meet a quality person I have

tried bars I've tried restaurants I'm

passionate atletic spontaneous I do have

irritable bowel syndrome but I do like

to run on the beach not for great

offices but time permitting okay so you

sure I get those tickets to Mexico right

so really need to get to Mexico but by

the way you were to get a fake passport

win it on a down low

what he had nice abs open-road sopia I'm

telling you it's only way to live man

winning hair Sun in your face

a babe on your board sweet indeed oh I

knew this was a bad idea

hey what about that Ted character he was

alright he said he was married

hold on what about Greg my mother would

never believe he's a lawyer I don't know

oh you got another request for a live

chat should I say yes no Greg hey can I

call you back sure oh hello Hillary no

I'm Sophie just hang on one sec come

over here Oh what come on just talk to

him he's cute she kind of looks like

Jason hello hi is everything okay over

there depends on what you mean by okay

everything's great

why don't you tell us a bit about

yourself oh okay my name is David I'm an

actor Oh perfect

I'm 33 years old I'm a Libra if that

matters hey wait I know you

you're the cell phone guy in the costume

that's right and you're the reporter

yeah I was sorry to hear about the

newspaper shutting down did you lose

your job or what do you think right

sorry

obvious for what it's worth I got fired

playing a big red cell phone so oh I'm

sorry

don't be you could help me save my very

last red update

I mean if I can't book a job playing a

fake fiance for a weekend I should

probably call it quits

well I warn you hanging with my family

for the weekend isn't easy

but comes with a free turkey dinner and

two tickets to Mexico so if you're still

interested definitely sign me up

great okay well um I guess we'll run a

background check thingy okay sure

are you free to meet Hillary tomorrow

face-to-face sure thing

Hey so I Facebook them he hasn't

responded and when Google I'm the only

thing that comes up are a few photos of

him on Flickr with some chick named

Lindsay on a beach so looks like he's

not a psycho he's just another

out-of-work loser actor you sound like

my agent oh hi hi okay well there it is

yeah um you two have fun great hi so I

checked out yeah seems like it

do you have any clothes that aren't

coffee stained or shaped like a giant

cell phone oh definitely okay yeah yeah

I'm know do you think that Jason is more

of a corporate lawyer type corporate

what kind of car do you drive uh 98 Jeep

Grand Cherokee fully loaded we'll take

my car

okay okay I'm gonna friend you on

facebook accept my request click on all

my family photo albums memorize all the

names

everybody's clearly marked okay will do

okay well I guess I'll pick you up here

tomorrow 8:00 a.m. sharp sounds good

okay um sorry I don't know what's going

on here with the thing the hair I'll

take care of it yeah okay hi

guess I'm gonna buy your coffee

you clean up real good thank you

you look nice yourself and don't forget

my parents are very excited that you are

a lawyer about that I don't know if I'm

gonna be able to pull that off your

doctor what

okay hit me with the family breakdown

okay uh Meredith mother housewife

extraordinaire Roy dad and Councilman

your youngest sister is Trish Choi right

right Trish is the middle one and her

husband is Gil enjoys fiancé's name is

uh John Paul Peter you gotta get these

straight they're all gonna be at the

party party yeah it's no big deal just

family so how long were you and Jason

engaged we dated for seven months we

were engaged for two Wow what happened

he's uh he's under a lot of pressure

really stress he got this big job

promotion offer in Pittsburgh so oh look

here we are

okay just remember say as little as

possible and follow my lead

here we go oh honey honey you're finally

here

Oh sweetie come here hmm uh you know you

could wash that car every once in a

while

what about Jason's Tesla I wanted to

ride in there oh that was my fault I

wanted to save on mileage so we took the

Jetta instead oh well at least we

finally get to meet Jason oh you're

practically part of the family now okay

well let's go in okay okay come on in

here I thought you said this was family

only well I didn't want the whole town

to think that you were gonna be a

spinster forever

everyone this is Hilary's fiance Jason

hi hi how's it going oh hey

I know I know

go feed her she's started just a min

okay hi so Jason seems to be a big hit

yeah yeah we're at Gilbert and I just

bought a place in Southampton oh yeah we

really wanted the baby baptized in New

York you know the st. Patrick's

Cathedral but mom you know insisted that

we do it here so all right now she

doesn't know but we're gonna do it again

when we get back anyway that way he can

invite his friends and associates have I

mean Hatton's gonna be there oh where is

Gil Gil is at a polo tournament huh yeah

he'll be here soon

Deseret I'll be back I told you not talk

so Jason yeah you were that firmness

defending that schmuck schwarmann

Sharma yeah and he's as guilty as they

come if you ask me bilking all those

suckers on their life savings you know

Frank I think everybody's considered

innocent till proven guilty

isn't that right Jason yeah mr. burns

called IRA's

pleasure to meet you Roger you know they

says it feel to be defending a crook

like that well I you know what Frank

why'd you get yourself some eggnog I

just whipped up a fresh batch

thanks for the practice comes for the

eggnog yeah so listen uh what kind of

cases do you do you do I don't know

fraud or extortion or money laundering

uh yeah yeah I do all of those come on

dad leave for Jason alone II spent

enough time at the office already doing

all that lawyer ring you play um yes but

quite badly

no no greater my if I phone

you know when Hillary was young she is

the same oh no oh no no no okay

everybody it's time to show the

engagement ring where do you see this

beauty tada

so III I where's the ring

I I remember it yeah that's a funny

story

actually right sweetie it turns out

Hillary lost a few pounds and the ring

doesn't fit her anymore this morning

she's taking a shower and she gets out

of the shower and the rain falls off her

finger into the toilet she calls me

hysteric crazy I was crazy crazy she was

she was freaking out I get there so what

do I do

I've got a man up right Roy I do it's go

time so I get down there on my knees and

I I go in there I go in there I go in

deep I can feel it I can feel it right

there the reason there it's there it

gets away it gets away then I have to I

have to go a little bit deeper and I'm

reaching for it and ah no deeper deeper

yes really small hands it's stirring

actually and I can feel it I can feel

right right on the edge of my finger

right there it's right there and I got

it got the ring

got the ring yeah so oh my god we

decided leave it home till we get it

resized yeah yeah it's better safe than

sorry

hi sweetie hmm hmm arched hiya Jake hey

he'll isn't it I thought you quit I did

so is my fiance boring yours with his

foot talking no but I think David's got

his hands pretty full

did I say David Jason of course David's

a friend I was on the phone with him you

know you could have warned me okay

that's what sisters are for

sorry I got sidetracked

well I guess we better go back in there

you okay yeah hey don't tell Mom about

them no but if mom has anything else to

surprise me with can you please tell me

deal thank you welcome home the key to

keeping your feet healthy is staying

away from the feets worst enemies do you

know what those are jeez

no III don't know thank you so much good

to see you oh my sweetie

there's Hilary I'm gonna we'll do the

feet thing later oh wait you two have

our pictures taken oh so much fun

where's the timer well everyone gathered

together here everybody ready here we

are okay how do you need the baby yeah

yeah baby come on don't worry I could

show Jason his boom well honey don't be

silly

yeah be in this full besides I don't

expect you to have separate rooms

just separate beds and if you need extra

pillows or blankets just ask me that's

okay mom um I think I know where

everything is

okay darling can you sleep well we have

a busy date okay okay good night no

that's okay I'll take the cut no no

don't worry about it I'm fine with it

okay well you take it tonight I'll take

it tomorrow night oh you want okay I'm

gonna go get change for bed okay oh

sorry um no I'm sorry I thought you were

still in the java space uh no I don't uh

I don't wear pajamas so I didn't bring

it okay this finals fine soup my dad has

some great

daddy daddy I read not guilty sorry what

sorry I came to ask you Jason could

borrow some pajamas oh I don't have any

your mother and I sleep in the rod Oh

since when

Oh since Joey went off to college we ran

around naked for a week you should see

all right I know I don't need you this

guy this Jason he treats you right

nothing yeah yeah of course

what do you love him

what an easy question should be an easy

answer dad I'm marrying the guy so do

you love him yes I do

okay beautiful right after all

all you need is love

good night angel good night Eddie

aliens

something but I just wanted to you know

that I may have lucked into some tickets

at Playa del Carmen and how do I thought

maybe you might want to go so I know we

haven't been there since you know anyway

um call me if you want to go and Happy

Thanksgiving

ah bye

morning morning sweetheart

anybody seen Jason he's outside with dad

what are they doing out there well your

father got it in his head that he was

gonna deep-fry the turkey this year ooh

boy where's Tricia young Tricia sold the

hotel Gill hasn't shown up yet

why are they staying at a hotel when

there's plenty of room here well with

Emma and malayani maybe they felt they'd

be a bother

oh I don't even know why Trish has a net

I mean come on felt like she's ever had

a job but it's nice that her husband can

afford to give her whatever she wants

he's just never around

how about Jason how much does here mom

Oh sweetie I just want to make sure that

you're cared for oh come on mom it is

the 21st century you don't need to be

cared for your own jobs right hell

actually the newspaper I was working for

shut down oh honey not again well it's

not my fault nobody reads newspapers

anymore everything's on the Internet

well just in time I want you to tell me

if my yam casserole is Sweden oh I'm

sorry I'm not fan oh it's you are you I

did a childbirth

he's such a joker he loves yams like I

said he looked okay hmm

I made that with Splenda instead of

sugar hmm

maybe just a little more time he is

really funny he is he really is he's so

funny such a kidder well I just hope

he's more serious when it comes to

setting a wedding date mom please don't

start honey I'm sorry if I seem a little

anxious it's just that I have been

deprived of planning the weddings for

not one but two of my daughters there we

go

can't you girls understand that a mother

wants to plan her daughter's weddings Oh

since you were babies I've dreamed of

this and then to find out that Tricia

eloped to an island

well what about joy Joy's engaged yes

joy isn't he yes he is

and has been for two years I will be six

feet under by the time she sets a date

I'm sorry if I'm a little upset but but

honey it's come down to you you're the

only one I can count on um I'm hot

summer 21st I didn't want to tell you I

wanted it we were gonna surprise you at

dinner but that's it December 21st

you're getting married on December 21st

yes oh why

well okay after boxing at the community

hall and and call gales greenery I don't

even open Omar we wanted something small

once we get this baby boiling you just

rigged the bird up to this line just

drop it in the oil huh

whatever you say all right let's fire

this bad boy up

all right get that with you yeah let me

ask you something uh hop you ever

represent a councilman or a politician

no not personally but you could huh sure

good to know good to know uh wait don't

you want to wait until the oil he keep

talking about we're missing the game

sides gonna take half an hour to get

boiling come on

oh uh okay so it's me know things are

not going well at all

I just told my mom that David and I are

getting married in a month through

marrying David now that was quite oh no

no me and Jason I just blurted it out

that we are getting married on December

21st

what this is not somebody on speaker

well no because what what if Jason

really did get cold feet and and he's

gonna come back to me because I mean

more than one Pittsburgh and then the

wedding is already planned which is

which is actually not that crazy

no it's crazy he'll it's super crazy I

know that's crazy

what am I gonna do who got him now

Surf's Up

I'm Greg's gonna be here any minute I

gotta go what

listen care heart just ride the wave

just ride the wave pom pom Sophie Sophie

Sophie

you know Roy I think it's probably been

30 minutes we go check on the pot do you

know I could use a little you know hmm

legal counsel oh well you're a

councilman right eh I'm sure you have a

great lawyer

he's a little too involved you know what

I mean hmm anyway what would be better

than keeping it in a family hmm all

right well I guess I better go drop that

bird in the oil oh uh yeah you sure you

don't need a hand with that no no I got

it covered uh ticklish hi

that is beeping ah thank you um Peter

can I have my foot back man like Oh core

size you welcome

oles tell them look at the replay right

there

their quarterback face amount

anything important oh no important

looks like your dad's contraption is

actually gonna work out

Oh for the love of well this isn't so

bad

oh I asked for seltzer this looks like

tap water with cheese floating in it

sorry mrs. burns can see that your old

boyfriend also amounted to much where's

fuel ah the benefit that he was

attending ran late so now he's snowed in

in New York well that's too bad

I know if you were here he could have

gotten us a table at the golf club then

we wouldn't have to eat in this dump

hey it's not snowing in New York hmm you

know Gilbert has a Platinum membership

to all the best clubs well I'm not a big

golf fan so this place suits me just

fine this is fine this is great I know I

thought you said that you met Jason at a

charity golf tournament that you were

covering for that paper yeah that's

right yeah I'm not a fan of the golf but

you know like a spectator but I just

play but very very badly very very badly

that's why they gave you a car yeah

Tesla ride yes he won your car at the

tournament in a new interview the winner

give me you hmm

he forgets everything right honey lazy

yeah I think you sandbagging aren't you

I know enough okay in my super 100 Tinka

my name is Paco and I'll be your server

this holiday evening would you like to

hear about our specials ah seguro

okay well basically what we have is

anything that's chicken polio we switch

that out for wahoooo de huaah holiday

that means turkey and that turkey tacos

are particularly delicious tonight my

name David yes hey it's Julian I do but

my name is Jason Jason Jason is my name

no it's not Jake really is Jason what my

David is my middle name

so there's confusion for guys oh okay

all righty

oh it's been a while since we did that

bus and truck to repair together

Oh God you look good

are you still in the biz yes so what are

you doing oh you're looking at it

tonight Mary yeah I had to move back in

with my parents to get a more stable

career going on so Miriam all right I

hear you

gracias de nada I'll be there you never

sound anyway I'll be back in a minute to

get your orders just word to the wise

don't get them play those rancheros I

had them for breakfast I feel like

there's a knife in my colon happy turkey

day everyone all right

hey Jillian hmm solo Jason David what is

are you still in oh I'm in the law I are

you a little pro bono work I'm Perry and

I represented I'm feel cedar company a

few years back film defeater people are

so hmm

I'm crazy um I lose some salsa mm-hmm

thank you he's a giver mmm how could you

forget we went over that at least half a

dozen times

I've never played golf before it's not a

part of my repertoire what was all that

with the crazy waiter in the diner we

were in a production of hair eight years

ago how was I supposed to know you end

up in where are we anyway

is everything okay yeah

gorgeous talking about the mix-up the

diner Oh what mix-up

well I'm pooped oh I'm pooped - it's not

every day that we blow up a turkey

around here oh you know dinner was

actually kind of fun and the Mexican

food wasn't half bad yes good not as

good as your turkey dinner would have

been wasn't even close

you know if Hillary doesn't kick me to

the curb maybe I'll be lucky enough to

try it next year hmm well you know I

didn't want to deep-fry that turkey in

the first place but when Roy gets an

idea stuck in his head but we've got uh

stuffing three pies and and my ham

casserole which is always better on the

second day in mmm that is so true you

know it's getting late

uh-huh so you go to bed get a good

night's sleep and we'll see you in the

morning okay good night you're trying to

sleep on the cot

I'm sorry no no it was me I dropped the

ball I just I don't know why you're

doing this I mean I know you want the

tickets but there's gotta be an easier

way to get to Mexico

alaya del Carmen that's where I made my

girlfriend or rather my ex-girlfriend I

guess I thought that if I took her back

to the resort when we met and I don't

know it might read Knight the spark or

something well I I didn't have enough

money for the ticket so well I'm sure

it'll work I hope so I mean she's kind

of dating this other guy right now but

who did she call every time they break

up me

so obviously she deep down she really

doesn't want to be with him hmm sorry

they get that guy what what huh forget

that guy you know the guy she calls to

get back at her ex no I'm not that guy

he's that guy well when you met her was

she seeing him no they're just broken up

see no no no it's not like that

oh they broke up huh and then we met and

then we were you know together like a

couple for how long

uh four not five weeks mmm and then she

went back to him yeah but she keeps

calling me

all right it may look like I'm the get

back guy but I know that all she needs

to do is get away from that that hold he

has on her and then she can realize that

what she really wants is me okay

trust me I know her she's materialistic

and sentimental so this could work

maybe I mean that the ticket thing hmm

are you hungry you know I was bombed in

the post close down numbers my Sunday

morning read I love that funky Ray I

know the end of an arrow so are you

gonna find another game reporting

Richmond I don't know I mean the only

reason why I got that job was because my

friend Sophie worked there and I needed

it and feeling very good at it you wrote

that article a few weeks back about the

animal shelter right no no I mean well

you must have some talent he's thanks to

you that I am now the proud owner of the

same dog you were hugging in that photo

you rescued skittles from the house

Chester because of what I wrote yeah all

these names whiskey huh yeah I'm gonna

miss the post no I mean I get all the

news I can handle online but I'll hold

something you know not just my laptop at

an actual newspaper yeah I love brim

whose just print is dead let's order

evolution being our friend

nice what about you you how's your

arching coming my acting a job it's not

really going anywhere this and that cell

phone gig are the only paying jobs I've

had in a while

oh look a pair of us jumped unemployed

and eating sugar and carbs an innocent

right listen I don't know we should take

this upstairs great yeah only two more

days filled mmm Milo we just go with it

don't know let's not pressure up up

let's get out of here go sightseeing or

something planning you know you're

totally snore right what no way

my dad yes way

Wow no oh sorry oh you startled me it's

beautiful oh well it will be you do this

all yourself

every year wow it's impressive well I

started doing this one year when the

girls were very young and they were

convinced that Santa Clauses elves

decorated the house so I keep going well

your secret's safe with me

thank you um can I help you mama

Oh

you

you

I'm sorry ah okay there is a wreath over

there that I had designed for the mantle

yes sir

pick it up very carefully and it belongs

right on the mantel in the center okay

watch yourself on that ladder up I got

it

thank you Jason

don't worry about it that's a little

crooked there no I I mean thank you for

Thanksgiving and for being such a good

sport today and thank you for loving my

daughter she loves you very much you

know I can see it in their face well

hell over to mrs. burns i'll call me

Meredith please or mom if you like

listen that can I give you a hand with

anything else sir

after 20-some years I've got it down to

a science

alright I'll um head up the bed there

goodnight Jason

goodnight

climb on

hey Hillary yeah see this oh yeah my mom

does this every year after Thanksgiving

it's her tradition when we were little

we still think it was elves or something

so she does that all by herself

oh yes she never lets any of us help

except with the tree and that's just

because she can't lift it herself or

believe me she would she could we offer

to help her over the years but oh no

it's our special Christmas thing Oh

I was looking for

I know you're only here for a few more

days but we have to find the perfect

wedding dress and pick the China and the

linens and the cake Oh mom you don't

need us for all that and I can I can get

the dress back home oh well okay it's

just that all of my friends went with

their daughters to pick out their

wedding dresses and I thought you might

want to do the same but you know if you

want to go with someone else I

understand of course that's fine I think

you should go huh

I mean don't with it isn't that what

brides are supposed to do go dress

shopping with their mother yes of course

yeah but I really think it's a good idea

to go shopping on Black Friday oh we

have no choice if we go after all the

best dresses will be gone oh and Jason

I'd like you to go with us to pick the

China oh I don't need to go I mean I'm

sure I'll love whatever Hilary picks out

she knows me better than anyone

well that's perfect give us some time to

catch up maybe get a little free council

Hasan you know come to think of it Roy

I'm gonna be eating off those plates for

the rest of my life so let's go shopping

Oh

oh I'm gonna look over here okay

mom look oh it's beautiful

dum-dum-dum here hold my purse Thanks

hey here are you almost ready

Oh Oh Hilary it looks beautiful Oh mommy

beautiful hitti baby thank you very much

thanks Q oh darling oh yeah yeah so

what's going on with you and Jason

nothing my point exactly

for two young lovebirds I don't see much

affection no kiss no hug mom he's just

not a touchy-feely guy don't worry about

I just want to be able to see your

marriage succeed you know most marriages

fall apart first in the bedroom you know

your father and I make love three times

a week

ah my ears are bleeding oh stop well we

made that agreement when we got married

your father and I knew was important

that in spite of anything we would make

time now I'm deaf I just don't want to

see you screw this up

Jason's a good catch who odd and nervous

like aspects I like him he's good for

you

I can see it I'm never wrong I know Oh

up there Oh sweetheart you just you look

so beautiful

mmm pretty no is she getting married

well yes of course I'm not Oh

my therapist says that I should

visualize what I want and it will

manifest itself well that sounds like um

a very good strategy I want that dress

I'll take it that's beautiful you nice

look ma'am

yeah that is my fiancees dress I start

first and it's nothing okay can I have

it please yeah look of your away

we're dress my bride so just between you

and I how would you advise a client to

proceed if it was discovered that let's

say he was getting money for selling I

don't know

oops I probably advised that person to

stop talking about it and definitely not

telling the owner - there's no one magic

fashion P so what do you like better

cups or mugs I don't know I think I

think we get better you've set of mugs

what do you think table setting for 8 or

12 Hilary could talk outside for my left

okay you do realize that we're not

actually getting married right yeah yeah

yes yeah yeah but what if Jason actually

did get cold feet I mean Oh a lot of

people think they want to move to

Pittsburgh and then and then they change

their mind

mm-hmm Hey look sharp kids there is

someone here to see you

father may see what are you doing here

well sweetie your wedding is in less

than a month you really should have met

with father Maci weeks ago so I invited

him over

oh hi oh hello father Mason

hi father Jason so is there somewhere we

could go and talk well it's a beautiful

day why don't you take a walk perfect

let's let's

so Jason you're going to marry Hilary

that's what they keep telling me

Hilary you're finally getting married

I'm so very happy for you

it alone Hall hasn't it I guess I don't

you both beginning nervous I won't be

asking me personal questions if you know

what I mean I think we all know the ways

of the birds and the bees in all

seriousness I would like to make sure

that you're both headed on the same path

that you share the same ideals and

beliefs for if not the marriage could

suffer so Jason tell me which church

were you raised in well I think I didn't

actually go to church no earth God

understands the one must not be in his

house to love him Haman are you Roman

Catholic no Protestant mm-hmm LDS Jewish

Jewish hmm well I see I'm sure you

understand and I would not be able to

form saram know we have we talked about

this and Jason has no problem converting

hmm actually I oh I have a wonderful

idea kind of Jason baptized at the same

time as Emma I don't know I just I don't

um yeah that could Wow no way no way I'm

getting baptized come on it's just a

formality it's not that big a deal I'm

Jewish not a Jewish what are you even

talking about my grandma Turtletaub with

role in her grave if she knew I was

doing this my mom will be so

disappointed if we don't have a wedding

at her church what way Hilary we're not

really getting married oh my god I'm so

sorry

this is so stupid you're right this is

so stupid what am I doing this

stupid I mean Here I am trying to do

everything to make my mother happy and

for what to set her up for my greatest

disappointment ever

that's so foolish the thing Jason is

actually coming back not coming back I

mean he's in Pittsburgh he's he's happy

to be rid of me

and even if you did come back how my how

can I explain that it's not like you two

are exactly twin brothers here just give

the voucher numbers today are lying for

your tickets you take them you earn them

but the weekends not even over yet

please I couldn't expect you to stay

when the crap hits the fan I mean God

knows you've been doing up alright hmm

so this is it engagements off

yes uh engagements up um Derrick trainer

or something I should catch ya um you

missed the 5:30 but I think there's an

11:30 one that's that's better I should

probably wait to leave until after

everyone's going to bed so thanks sure

yeah I guess I should pack yes hybl I

believe me alone okay cake

well that was fun right yeah good luck

with uh everything oh thanks you do hope

you find the spark in Mexico Thanks

Oh

Oh what joy I'm not gonna stop cause

your mom's a wife huh just sweet my mom

really doesn't like you Julie yeah he

says call you tomorrow

good is that the leader from the diner

yeah so I can tell mom no no of course

not thanks Stu and I dated for a couple

months

before mom set me up with the foot man

she thoughts do wasn't good enough so

she worked her magic and the next thing

I knew

Stu is out of the picture and I was

engaged to Pete the podiatrist is that

why you haven't set a date hmm hmm don't

get me wrong

Pete's a good man a little weird hmm but

good guy I just don't love him

not like I let's do hmm so what's really

going on you and Jason

Jason taught me a week ago so I hired an

actor named David to play my fiancee for

the weekend you what wait wait okay so

where did Jason or date David go left

just I don't know you just have to smile

oh wow but you like him

David you like David what I don't like

David I don't even know David it's crazy

like you I thought he was adorable

Oh what I just thought my life was

complicated

yeah mom yes there's something I have to

tell you about Jason he dumped me I am

well aware of what's going on you are

yes I saw him leaving last night

oh that's just part of it that's not

Hilary Jean I have to say this

sweetheart when are you going to get

serious you are not a spring chicken

anymore 30s in the rearview mirror and

you have nothing to show for it

no career no direction and now I guess

no Jason guess again

I'm sitting in this car that I didn't

wait long story time last just oh uh

just so everyone knows for the record

none of this is Hilary's fall Oh No okay

so um you two gonna kiss and make up

one okay

should I call father Macy I don't know I

don't know do no that's fine

Oh call him cook call it I got this I

just go unpack

toldja thank you hey we had a deal right

so is your is your ex or whatever is she

going Mexico yeah well that's nice you

guys should have a good time

I don't know about me well I'm sure she

and paid you will have a great time I

mean she thought I was giving her the

tickets oh ouch so now she and Peggy are

gonna go to Mexico and have a little

break from Matt god I'm such an idiot

all this time I thought that maybe she

actually cared about me but you're right

she was just using me it's a story in my

life always they get back guy never just

the guy you know don't give her those

tickets Oh what am I gonna do with the

couple tickets to Mexico that's too late

anyway she's already halfway up there

I'm supposed to meet her at the diner in

like ten minutes

oh I gotta go how do I look great no I

feel like I maybe should have worn the

Armani so I heard about you and Jason

you know how I think you need to be

careful Jason's a good catch and good

men are few and far between

if you really feel like he's the one you

got a sink tooth and nail into keeping

him look at Gil and me Gil could have

had his pick of the crop but I made sure

that he married me sure I have to put up

with his absences

he's a man and you can't change them I

get it but if you don't get it you

better be sure that there's me somebody

next in line who will men aren't perfect

but that Jason yours comes pretty close

yeah he's pretty special you know Gil

provides for me and now all I want is

for Emma and whoever this is to have

everything they deserve you're pregnant

yeah but don't say anything I haven't

even took Gil yet I really made are you

going Islands so do the tickets yeah

about that um you know what I told you

about these tickets I was kind of hoping

that you and I would go wait till Matt

finds out that I'm going to Mexico right

can we not talk about man maybe oh my

god he's gonna be so pissed I'm so sorry

I'm late

uh I had to make the caterers I had

another dress fitting I'm sorry and you

are

Lindsay Lindsay Oh Lindsay Lindsay David

told me all about you and Playa del

Carmen god I guess I'm lucky he's not

into party girls huh did you send her an

invite to our wedding

wait you didn't send her an invite

it happened so fast oh that's right it

was just boom like that love at first

sight isn't that right sweetie hey thank

you okay okay um David can I just have

the tickets please mm-hmm David yes

actually why I'm here I have to admit

when he first told me about your saying

in Mexico I was jealous I was in the

heat of the moment I told him to give

the vouchers away right cuz it's not

like we can

honeymoon where he met some girl but

then I woke up this morning and I was

like no you know what that passes the

pass the heck with it I mean he's

marrying me not you

so I went online I traded in the

vouchers and surprise how do you see

something for the wedding night tiger

fine um I guess I'll just be going then

thanks for nothing David hmm Oh Lindsey

I'm so sorry I just had no idea what

Hilary was capable of it's very

impressive ation by Lindsey I'm sorry a

little carried away with them oh yeah

that's right

but thank ya no thank you it's all 24

more hours and we pulled it up yep you

all right

yeah yes I'm good I'm just you know I'm

happy we pulled it off but it still

doesn't change the fact back to my mom

you

Jason and I rather her crew yeah you

know if we want we could pull out a

knock-down drag-out fight for your

family then they wouldn't want you to

court Jason jail or we could postpone

the wedding

blame it on my grueling work schedule

and then I come up around Easter did you

keep this thing going until next

Thanksgiving oh you're very sweet but

you're gonna nuff oh you should just

take those tickets and run you deserve a

vacation

besides maybe you'll find a new sperm

angels we have heard on high sweetly

singing the plains and the mountains in

reply echoing their joyous strains

we shall see

No

Oh

Chelsey's day

angels we have heard no I'd love the

second verse no really all right go for

it scheppers why this truly why your

joyous strains prolong what the gladsome

tidings be which inspire or help me song

we shall cease dead

Oh

oh oh

Oh

oh I was wonderful

honey I haven't heard you saying for so

long and the two of you together just

beautiful just beautiful Jason what are

you doing here I wanted to see you who

is it honey Oh mom dad everybody this is

Jason happy holidays everybody mom mom

I'm sorry I should have done that but I

didn't want to disappoint you so you

bring a total stranger into my house I

would never ever have believed that you

would be capable of doing something so

despicable what were you thinking

Peter and I are breaking up

sorry dude

those are any chance you might still be

a lawyer but no hmm

but you still respect that whole client

lawyer confidentiality thing right why

not

you know Joy's available now Hilary we

talked yes I'm so sorry I'm so sorry but

David I don't know I I think I might've

lost my mind I'm so confused I don't

know anything in to understand you do

because I don't people do crazy things

when their hearts have been broken

besides harboring grudges is no way for

us to start a future together my future

you said I was a mistake

and I don't know if I want to move to

Pittsburgh there is no Pittsburgh sharp

l gave the promotion to his idiot nephew

but none that matters anymore because

because now we can be together

I really missed you Hilary did David

what are you doing well actually I was

just gonna go talk to Hilary I think

that's a bad idea

in fact I'm very surprised to see that

you're still here weren't you the one

that was paid to fill Jason's shoes to

pull the wool over our eyes I guess but

I congratulations

because you did a great job you made

fools out of all of us and now that

Jason is here I really don't think

there's any reason for you to stay well

don't don't hurt Hillary's chances okay

no no you know what you may think that

Jason is the perfect son-in-law but he's

not he walked out on Hillary she's the

one who's perfect she's kind and she's

beautiful and she's a gifted writer have

you ever even read one of her articles

she concocted this whole thing just

because she's terrified of disappointing

you all she wants is to keep you happy

and Meredith I'm sorry that I deceived

you I truly am very sorry and it's fine

if you think that Jason will make her

happy but have you ever asked Hillary

what will make her happy

have you

Oh

kiss me hmm kiss me do I really have to

get this done

no one kiss me kiss me like like the

future mrs. King kiss me like you like

Hillary I really don't think your

parents asked the place for this did you

love me right

go for King Bill it's gonna be fine yeah

I'll get there early enough Monday

morning we'll never know what happened

I'm always on top of it'll being tough

now then Gary will get him to me

hi sweetheart hi Daddy

I have a question does um Jason the real

Jason not the fake Jason does he have

any other talents besides being a good

lawyer what do you mean can you break a

turkey maybe play a tune Jason I don't

think so

did he make you sing like you did

earlier tonight

you know I know it doesn't seem like it

but your mother really just wants you to

be happy maybe it's time you told her

what you want if you know what you want

do you mom Oh Hilary I'm so sorry honey

you send all these beautiful articles

and I'm sorry I didn't read them well

it's not like they're really very good

they are good they are good you are a

gifted writer and I'm glad that

newspaper closed down you're too good

for them you've always been a gifted

writer and and all of those wonderful

things that David yelled at me I just

wish that you had told me what what

Jason did I'm sorry that you didn't feel

like you could tell me that I'm sorry

I've been there

do you love Jason not not I mean you

know JIT the real Jason no you mean no I

think I hate him meet you do you look

David

I gotta buy your car Thanks

I have four copies ready what you say my

car

Hillary what where are you going

I'll call you a cab

hi

howdy Jude I borrowed Jason's car oh and

how did you know where to find me

background check remember all right

you forgot your suitcase oh uh you

didn't have to bring it all this way I

wanted to well thanks and

congratulations uh Jason seems like a

total jerk I know it's not my place to

say that but I love is blind right yeah

it was

well

I'm glad you're happy now and um

I'm sure it's gonna be a great wedding

well it would be but missing one really

important thing what groom

there's no groom you and Jason nope

Jason is a total jerk you're right and a

big mistake huge mistake

huge mistake

okay good

yeah here mm-hmm

what does that make me how'd a mistake

you

who