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[cell door slams]
2
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,052
[theme song playing]
3
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Synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
= www.addic7ed.com =
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[cell door slams]
5
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,577
[cell door slams]
6
00:01:19,106 --> 00:01:21,568
[inmates chanting] Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo!
7
00:01:26,868 --> 00:01:28,074
They said poo-poo.
8
00:01:28,157 --> 00:01:31,285
We should sew up her butthole
so she can't ever poo again.
9
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That's what we should do.
10
00:01:32,537 --> 00:01:34,622
But where would the poo go?
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It'd fill up her lungs until
she couldn't breathe.
12
00:01:37,326 --> 00:01:38,702
Are you okay, Leanne?
13
00:01:38,785 --> 00:01:41,663
I really think that you
need to get that looked at.
14
00:01:41,746 --> 00:01:43,623
Or at least put something over it
15
00:01:43,707 --> 00:01:45,584
other than a dryer
sheet and rubber band.
16
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,503
I ain't going nowhere until this
bitch gets what she deserves.
17
00:01:48,587 --> 00:01:50,840
[Law & Order theme playing over phone]
18
00:01:55,727 --> 00:01:59,314
In America, everyone has
the right to a fair trial.
19
00:01:59,397 --> 00:02:00,524
Unless you brown!
20
00:02:00,607 --> 00:02:02,275
- Or poor!
- Or famous!
21
00:02:02,358 --> 00:02:03,359
Or a white Christian!
22
00:02:03,435 --> 00:02:05,225
[Big Boo] All right, all right.
I'm just gonna have
23
00:02:05,295 --> 00:02:08,170
a quick habeas corpus, quid
pro quo with my client.
24
00:02:08,311 --> 00:02:09,478
No go.
25
00:02:09,945 --> 00:02:13,156
Look, 2007 Britney Spears on steroids...
26
00:02:13,821 --> 00:02:16,563
you best step out of my way
so I can talk to my friend.
27
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,802
Hey, your friend gave
our only gun to a guard
28
00:02:19,827 --> 00:02:22,788
and then he shot off my
best finger and escaped.
29
00:02:22,872 --> 00:02:25,165
That hillbilly bitch needs
to burn at the stake.
30
00:02:25,249 --> 00:02:27,668
Yeah, like, crispy.
31
00:02:28,141 --> 00:02:29,558
Hey, how about a high four?
32
00:02:29,642 --> 00:02:30,851
- [Leanne gasps]
- [chuckles]
33
00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:33,396
[Angie grunts] Oh! Leanne!
Leanne, Leanne, Leanne.
34
00:02:33,479 --> 00:02:35,814
[chanting] Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo!
35
00:02:35,898 --> 00:02:38,067
- All right. All right.
- [chanting continues]
36
00:02:38,151 --> 00:02:39,193
Come on, come on.
37
00:02:39,277 --> 00:02:41,221
Come on!
38
00:02:41,315 --> 00:02:42,942
What if it was you in there?
39
00:02:43,781 --> 00:02:45,573
Wouldn't you want that
chance to explain yourself
40
00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:47,094
before you got thrown into a shit box?
41
00:02:47,185 --> 00:02:50,313
I mean, come on, let's
be better than they are.
42
00:02:50,491 --> 00:02:51,909
Let's have a little due process.
43
00:02:53,091 --> 00:02:55,927
[chanting] Due, due, due, due, due.
44
00:02:56,052 --> 00:02:57,747
[chuckles] She said doo-doo.
45
00:02:58,463 --> 00:03:00,298
- You got five minutes.
- Okay.
46
00:03:03,343 --> 00:03:04,762
- [chuckles]
- [scoffs]
47
00:03:10,142 --> 00:03:12,060
[Pennsatucky sighs] Hi.
48
00:03:12,604 --> 00:03:13,771
Oh.
49
00:03:13,855 --> 00:03:15,276
Okay, okay.
50
00:03:15,292 --> 00:03:17,378
- Careful of the suit. Yeah.
- Huh? Oh.
51
00:03:17,461 --> 00:03:19,759
- What the hell were you thinking?
- You mad at me?
52
00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:21,671
- Oh, definitely.
- Are they gonna murder me?
53
00:03:21,726 --> 00:03:22,884
Probably.
54
00:03:22,967 --> 00:03:24,636
- What we gonna do?
- [grunts]
55
00:03:25,637 --> 00:03:27,847
- We're gonna give 'em a show. Okay?
- Okay.
56
00:03:27,930 --> 00:03:30,432
First, you need to look remorseful.
57
00:03:31,768 --> 00:03:34,153
- You know, sorry for what you've done.
- Oh, be upset.
58
00:03:34,178 --> 00:03:35,471
Oh, yeah, I can do that.
59
00:03:35,496 --> 00:03:36,705
- Yeah?
- I can do that really easy.
60
00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:39,333
I have a lot of practice from
my shopliftin' days with Mama.
61
00:03:39,417 --> 00:03:41,878
- Mmm-hmm.
- "Show Mama your sad face."
62
00:03:41,903 --> 00:03:44,280
Now, tell the nice man you didn't
mean to put the shampoo bottles
63
00:03:44,305 --> 00:03:46,301
"down your underpants." Yeah.
64
00:03:46,973 --> 00:03:49,768
Mama and I, we could work a
Save-A-Lot like no one's business.
65
00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:50,961
One time, Boo,
66
00:03:50,973 --> 00:03:55,102
I got away with stealing eight packs
of chicken wings in my overalls.
67
00:03:55,186 --> 00:03:56,604
But then I got caught with Cheez-Its.
68
00:03:56,688 --> 00:03:57,980
'Cause square boxes, you
know, they're just...
69
00:03:58,064 --> 00:03:59,649
- They're harder, right?
- Yeah, of course.
70
00:03:59,732 --> 00:04:03,152
And sad face wasn't workin' that day
because the manager was, like, a queer.
71
00:04:03,235 --> 00:04:05,154
And he hated kids...
72
00:04:05,354 --> 00:04:07,843
but Mama got off promisin' him
somethin' called a popper?
73
00:04:07,954 --> 00:04:10,206
- Oh, yeah, I know what poppers are. Yeah.
- Yeah?
74
00:04:10,371 --> 00:04:12,207
- So, anyway, watch. Watch, watch.
- Hmm.
75
00:04:13,425 --> 00:04:15,051
[mimics crying]
76
00:04:16,196 --> 00:04:18,235
That's actually remarkable.
77
00:04:19,877 --> 00:04:21,963
Let's show the ladies, shall we?
78
00:04:22,046 --> 00:04:23,673
That's it.
79
00:04:23,756 --> 00:04:26,634
- Aw, you poor thing.
- [Pennsatucky] I didn't mean to, Mama.
80
00:04:26,718 --> 00:04:28,385
- [inmate] Oh, come on.
- [Big Boo] That's right.
81
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,597
- I'm sorry, Mama.
- That's right, I know.
82
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:34,976
[indistinct radio chatter]
83
00:04:35,059 --> 00:04:38,354
I don't need a medal, but a
little recognition would be nice.
84
00:04:40,294 --> 00:04:43,714
I mean, the bringer of light should at
least get a Twinkie out of it, right?
85
00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:47,983
You know, I told that whole room,
"Hey, guess who fixed the power?"
86
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:49,907
Nothing.
87
00:04:50,962 --> 00:04:52,713
It's a tough fucking crowd.
88
00:04:56,072 --> 00:04:57,656
Got any family out there?
89
00:04:59,345 --> 00:05:00,493
Yeah, me neither.
90
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,789
[Maritza] Hey, guys. So...
91
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:08,558
it took me one whole
minute to look this cute.
92
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,937
It only took me 30 seconds
to get so pretty for you.
93
00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,272
Rude.
94
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,482
What? I'm two years younger than you.
95
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,610
My mom always said shit
starts to fall at, like, 29.
96
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,072
How come no one ever
told me this before?
97
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,324
I don't know. Maybe they
were protecting you.
98
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,349
But it's good that you know now.
99
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,619
Get on the defensive.
100
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:31,749
I stick my face in ice every day.
Like meat in the freezer.
101
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,109
It makes that shit last
a whole lot longer.
102
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,837
Okay, shut off the fucking camera. Now.
103
00:05:38,035 --> 00:05:39,328
[sighs]
104
00:05:39,353 --> 00:05:42,272
- [truck beeping]
- [delivery boy] Hey. All right, that's it.
105
00:05:44,272 --> 00:05:45,794
[Coates] Look, I don't
know anything, okay?
106
00:05:45,819 --> 00:05:47,306
I didn't see anything.
107
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:50,413
Can I go home now? I wanna go home.
108
00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:52,444
Just stack them in the entryway, please.
109
00:05:52,469 --> 00:05:54,030
What the hell do you think you're doing?
110
00:05:54,156 --> 00:05:56,449
I'm carrying out orders from
Governor Hutchinson. And you?
111
00:05:56,474 --> 00:05:59,102
I'm in charge of this place
and you're in my fucking way.
112
00:05:59,328 --> 00:06:01,160
Is that how you always speak with women?
113
00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:02,757
No wonder they're rioting.
114
00:06:02,827 --> 00:06:06,143
Explain to me how the governor's
plan to de-escalate the situation
115
00:06:06,168 --> 00:06:08,772
includes rewarding the inmates with...
[inhales deeply]
116
00:06:08,797 --> 00:06:10,466
whatever the hell is in those boxes.
117
00:06:10,906 --> 00:06:14,827
In the future, you should
ask instead of demand.
118
00:06:15,863 --> 00:06:19,366
The CERT team cannot guarantee ingress
into the prison without casualties.
119
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,669
Governor Hutchinson cares
about the lives in there,
120
00:06:21,752 --> 00:06:22,921
unlike other people involved.
121
00:06:23,004 --> 00:06:25,173
That's you. I'm talking about you.
122
00:06:25,264 --> 00:06:27,121
The rest of us are taking
the necessary steps
123
00:06:27,146 --> 00:06:30,052
to resolve this situation peacefully.
Thank you.
124
00:06:30,732 --> 00:06:33,067
Uh, yeah, just keep going over there.
125
00:06:34,171 --> 00:06:35,380
What the hell?
126
00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:38,669
Your shit's falling, right?
How old are you?
127
00:06:39,295 --> 00:06:41,131
Did any of you children
think to tell somebody
128
00:06:41,214 --> 00:06:44,467
that a stack of boxes just appeared
outside while you were on duty?
129
00:06:44,861 --> 00:06:46,322
[Flaca] Mmm-mmm.
130
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:48,963
[sighs]
131
00:06:49,347 --> 00:06:50,515
[Maritza] Oh, my God.
Take a picture of her.
132
00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:53,268
Hey. Yeah, we got a
situation in the front.
133
00:06:56,229 --> 00:06:57,898
So 30?
134
00:06:57,981 --> 00:07:00,066
- Thirty-five?
- [chuckles]
135
00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:01,776
Yo, we shouldn't be asking
her shit like that.
136
00:07:01,859 --> 00:07:03,736
Black skin doesn't follow
the rules, you know?
137
00:07:03,819 --> 00:07:05,113
Please whisper better.
138
00:07:05,196 --> 00:07:07,407
[Janae] Oh, shit, we got a delivery?
139
00:07:07,490 --> 00:07:09,784
- [Black Cindy beatboxing]
- Whoa!
140
00:07:09,868 --> 00:07:12,328
[rapping] ♪ Buh, buh
FedEx, UPS, Amazon Prime ♪
141
00:07:12,412 --> 00:07:14,789
♪ Bring us what we need
'Cause it's about time ♪
142
00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:17,324
Yeah, don't ever do that again. Ever.
143
00:07:17,356 --> 00:07:18,566
Was that Kanye?
144
00:07:18,650 --> 00:07:20,026
[pounding on door]
145
00:07:20,109 --> 00:07:22,879
- Yo.
- Do we answer?
146
00:07:23,028 --> 00:07:24,905
- [Flaca] I like her ensemble.
- [Maritza] Yeah.
147
00:07:24,988 --> 00:07:27,754
Not too in-your-riot-face,
but some flair.
148
00:07:27,786 --> 00:07:29,122
I'm doin' it.
149
00:07:38,631 --> 00:07:39,673
[Taystee] Psst, psst.
150
00:07:41,175 --> 00:07:42,343
Um...
151
00:07:42,426 --> 00:07:44,887
Hello? How may I help you?
152
00:07:44,971 --> 00:07:46,514
Hi, there. Nita?
153
00:07:46,597 --> 00:07:48,682
We spoke on the phone, I think?
Was that you?
154
00:07:49,148 --> 00:07:50,315
Maybe.
155
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,452
I have a delivery from
Governor Hutchinson.
156
00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:57,979
Oh. Well... thank you.
157
00:07:58,234 --> 00:07:59,568
Thank you very much.
158
00:07:59,652 --> 00:08:02,905
We'll be in touch. Here is my cell.
159
00:08:02,989 --> 00:08:05,616
Let's keep the lines of
communication open, okay?
160
00:08:06,242 --> 00:08:08,327
Okay. Enjoy.
161
00:08:11,747 --> 00:08:13,207
[softly] What the fuck?
162
00:08:13,291 --> 00:08:15,793
[Black Cindy] Hey, man, get the...
Oh, shit!
163
00:08:18,296 --> 00:08:19,713
[chuckling]
164
00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:23,296
Thanks for the help, guys.
Really appreciate it.
165
00:08:23,343 --> 00:08:26,452
Some of us are smart enough not
to go near a unmarked box.
166
00:08:26,546 --> 00:08:29,757
I mean, that could be anything.
It could be a bomb. Anthrax.
167
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,937
- Itty-bitty soldiers.
- [clicks tongue]
168
00:08:36,514 --> 00:08:38,891
[Black Cindy] Fuck it.
[laughs] One for you...
169
00:08:39,976 --> 00:08:42,270
- Cheetos! [squeals]
- [all cheer]
170
00:08:46,065 --> 00:08:48,235
- [Flaca] Takis!
- Tampons?
171
00:08:49,024 --> 00:08:50,775
Hot Cheetos, Takis, and tampons
172
00:08:50,858 --> 00:08:52,986
just don't have the same
ring to it, you know?
173
00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:54,404
Yo, yo, yo...
174
00:08:55,322 --> 00:08:57,574
they're meeting our demands.
175
00:08:58,866 --> 00:09:00,743
Told you, man! You did it.
176
00:09:00,827 --> 00:09:02,245
[cheering]
177
00:09:03,089 --> 00:09:05,466
Don't need nobody to speak for us.
Fuck yeah!
178
00:09:05,627 --> 00:09:07,504
[Black Cindy] You a hero, man.
179
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,756
Girl, that's a mistake.
180
00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:16,411
Don't you know you always
got to pay for the flipper?
181
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,489
You really think...
182
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:21,144
Kandy with a "K" is gonna
win Ultimate Grand Supreme
183
00:09:21,316 --> 00:09:23,735
with her own God-given teeth? Hell, no!
184
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:26,379
- Can we watch 106 & Park now?
- [Dante] Sure can.
185
00:09:27,791 --> 00:09:29,793
You didn't ask for permission.
186
00:09:30,049 --> 00:09:32,177
I ain't be needing your
permission or nobody.
187
00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:35,138
Well, Ms. Tendler says otherwise,
'fore she knock the black off of you.
188
00:09:35,163 --> 00:09:36,507
- You sound like a old lady.
- [grunts]
189
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:39,743
Man, I am a old lady, as of today.
190
00:09:39,969 --> 00:09:42,097
And it's my TV time. I asked. So...
191
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,099
Nobody else likes the shit you watch.
It ain't fair.
192
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,725
[Ms. Tendler] What the
hell are y'all doing?
193
00:09:45,809 --> 00:09:47,561
Dante, no TV for the next week.
194
00:09:47,644 --> 00:09:49,604
Fucking bullshit! I hate it here.
195
00:09:49,688 --> 00:09:51,356
Don't like you much neither.
196
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,108
Taystee, my office.
197
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:56,361
- Time to go, old lady.
- Shut up.
198
00:09:56,445 --> 00:09:57,821
[Jamaris chuckles]
199
00:10:00,312 --> 00:10:01,731
[Ms. Tendler sighs] Come on in.
200
00:10:02,076 --> 00:10:03,660
Have a seat.
201
00:10:03,743 --> 00:10:06,746
[Taystee] Ain't gotta sit, 'cause
I already know, Ms. Tendler.
202
00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:09,624
Now that I'm 18, I gotta start
figuring out where I'm gonna live at.
203
00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:12,836
Now, I know I only got a
year to figure it out,
204
00:10:12,919 --> 00:10:15,130
but... I got a job and
I got some friends.
205
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:16,756
So, I think I'll be all right.
206
00:10:17,924 --> 00:10:18,967
Right?
207
00:10:19,262 --> 00:10:20,638
Sit down, Taystee.
208
00:10:21,178 --> 00:10:22,429
[Taystee sighs]
209
00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,601
Happy birthday.
210
00:10:29,769 --> 00:10:31,146
[chuckling] You got me a card?
211
00:10:31,784 --> 00:10:33,119
No. Your birth mother reached out,
212
00:10:33,186 --> 00:10:35,605
but we couldn't tell you
till you turned 18.
213
00:10:35,775 --> 00:10:37,986
Contact information's in the envelope.
214
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:41,073
[sighs] And don't go blamin' me.
I don't make the laws.
215
00:10:41,156 --> 00:10:42,907
These white men do. Blame them.
216
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:50,866
She's in here?
217
00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:54,586
Something like that.
218
00:11:01,176 --> 00:11:02,469
[Gerber grunts]
219
00:11:03,887 --> 00:11:05,472
Morning, sleepyhead.
220
00:11:09,074 --> 00:11:10,967
[gasps] What the fuck!
221
00:11:12,229 --> 00:11:14,105
Don't worry. It's just a little drool.
222
00:11:15,023 --> 00:11:18,527
What'd you get into last night? Is
that some sort of new drug thing?
223
00:11:19,094 --> 00:11:20,095
[Tom] Bayley.
224
00:11:20,529 --> 00:11:22,320
- You're out of here.
- [Gerber] No.
225
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:25,343
No, no, no, no. [stutters]
That's a mistake.
226
00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:27,843
You can't let me go. I'm a
danger to society, sir.
227
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:30,004
Be that as it may, we can't keep you.
228
00:11:30,029 --> 00:11:32,031
No charges have been filed.
Let... let's go.
229
00:11:32,699 --> 00:11:34,659
Frank, Janie called.
230
00:11:34,734 --> 00:11:37,153
She'll be over to get you after
she drops the kids at soccer.
231
00:11:37,298 --> 00:11:38,716
Thanks, Tom.
232
00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,969
Ah, don't despair, little buddy.
233
00:11:42,052 --> 00:11:45,306
This is why God invented booze
and the drunk tank, hmm?
234
00:11:46,224 --> 00:11:48,434
You need to slip from your troubles,
235
00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:51,354
make a little ruckus, and you
spend the night in here.
236
00:11:51,437 --> 00:11:52,605
[sighs]
237
00:11:53,926 --> 00:11:55,553
But everything's gonna be fine.
238
00:11:58,403 --> 00:11:59,695
Bayley, come on.
239
00:12:02,657 --> 00:12:03,949
[indistinct chatter]
240
00:12:17,168 --> 00:12:18,253
No Takis for you?
241
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,005
Leave me alone.
242
00:12:21,089 --> 00:12:25,009
Hard to do that... seeing
as how you're in my bunk.
243
00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:29,514
It's her bed. It's mine.
Go fuck yourself.
244
00:12:38,022 --> 00:12:39,065
[sighs]
245
00:12:40,775 --> 00:12:42,486
Why aren't you saying anything?
246
00:12:42,569 --> 00:12:43,737
Nah...
247
00:12:44,946 --> 00:12:46,156
I'm good.
248
00:12:46,656 --> 00:12:47,907
[scoffs]
249
00:12:48,794 --> 00:12:51,088
Some black power silent treatment
bullshit or something?
250
00:12:51,593 --> 00:12:52,970
More like...
251
00:12:53,955 --> 00:12:55,665
I don't got energy to waste.
252
00:12:57,876 --> 00:12:59,002
I got my own sad.
253
00:13:06,468 --> 00:13:09,388
She used to sleep here, man.
254
00:13:12,891 --> 00:13:14,351
Right there.
255
00:13:14,434 --> 00:13:15,727
Across from me.
256
00:13:17,718 --> 00:13:20,555
Sometimes she'd do this
thing, where she'd...
257
00:13:20,982 --> 00:13:24,569
bounce her leg while she
was tryin' to fall asleep.
258
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:27,906
The whole fucking bed would creak.
259
00:13:27,989 --> 00:13:30,074
It drove me crazy. I
would wanna punch her.
260
00:13:30,158 --> 00:13:31,951
[Janae sniffles]
261
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:38,417
Now I can't fall asleep...
262
00:13:40,335 --> 00:13:41,795
'cause I lie here...
263
00:13:43,713 --> 00:13:45,340
waiting for the squeak.
264
00:13:50,261 --> 00:13:51,555
I didn't know that.
265
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:55,600
I never got to sleep next to her.
266
00:13:58,269 --> 00:13:59,646
That's the thing.
267
00:14:00,563 --> 00:14:02,607
I'm not sad. I'm angry.
268
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,030
I hate everyone.
269
00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:12,992
Anyone... laughing or smiling or...
270
00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:18,247
being alive is fucking offensive to me
and they should all just fucking die.
271
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,753
And eventually, I'm just
gonna burn up from rage
272
00:14:23,837 --> 00:14:25,129
and then I'll just be dust.
273
00:14:25,213 --> 00:14:28,258
And I don't know how to make it stop.
274
00:14:31,345 --> 00:14:32,554
I do.
275
00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:41,145
Come on! You are coming with me.
276
00:14:41,229 --> 00:14:42,439
[Margarita] I got the baby.
277
00:14:42,522 --> 00:14:44,524
So? We'll drop it off at your cousin's.
278
00:14:44,608 --> 00:14:46,275
She owes me for the acrylics, anyway.
279
00:14:47,685 --> 00:14:48,769
How do I look?
280
00:14:48,987 --> 00:14:52,240
Wow, pero, you look like...
281
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:53,325
Diane Sawyer.
282
00:14:53,992 --> 00:14:55,744
Come on. Let's rock this mother.
283
00:14:59,247 --> 00:15:00,749
[inmates exclaiming]
284
00:15:01,666 --> 00:15:03,418
[inmate] Ahh! Gotcha! [chuckles]
285
00:15:14,471 --> 00:15:17,682
So, suddenly everybody think they
on Orchard Beach or some shit?
286
00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:21,318
I was thinking more Miami, but
thank you for ruining the fantasy.
287
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,146
Right before Drake was
gonna come over, too.
288
00:15:23,377 --> 00:15:26,367
Oh, shit, you think Pitbull
might be coming, too?
289
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,651
[Dayanara] Nah, girl.
290
00:15:27,734 --> 00:15:29,193
Maybe Fat Joe, if you're lucky.
291
00:15:29,778 --> 00:15:31,654
It's like Pitbull super-sized.
292
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,395
What the hell are you doing out here?
293
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:36,826
I was jealous. Wanted a tan. [grunts]
294
00:15:37,326 --> 00:15:38,703
Mmm-hmm.
295
00:15:38,787 --> 00:15:42,165
Don't you be trying to bring any
of that crap from inside out here.
296
00:15:42,248 --> 00:15:43,542
Out here, we're trying
to relax and shit.
297
00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:46,586
Like you're really relaxing
in the middle of all this
298
00:15:46,670 --> 00:15:48,254
after what went down?
299
00:15:48,526 --> 00:15:50,946
It's more like I'm just tryin'
not to make shit worse.
300
00:15:51,614 --> 00:15:53,031
Yeah, I hear that.
301
00:15:55,489 --> 00:15:57,073
You seriously trying to sit out now?
302
00:15:57,306 --> 00:15:58,516
Yeah.
303
00:15:59,757 --> 00:16:01,008
I think so.
304
00:16:01,248 --> 00:16:04,126
You know, I'm trying to get back
home to my baby girl one day,
305
00:16:04,209 --> 00:16:05,335
and this might be the only way
306
00:16:05,418 --> 00:16:07,545
to avoid all the fucked up
shit that keeps finding me.
307
00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:10,799
It's like... It's like I'm
a fucked-up-shit magnet.
308
00:16:11,914 --> 00:16:14,792
It ain't you. Prison's the magnet.
309
00:16:15,512 --> 00:16:16,930
You think so?
310
00:16:17,014 --> 00:16:18,098
I hope so.
311
00:16:18,836 --> 00:16:21,088
I gotta believe things'll
be better on the outside.
312
00:16:22,592 --> 00:16:23,885
To laying low.
313
00:16:26,596 --> 00:16:28,180
To Drake's fine ass.
314
00:16:29,424 --> 00:16:31,761
- I'll drink to that. [chuckles]
- Mmm.
315
00:16:32,135 --> 00:16:35,180
Look at Neri! She's showing.
316
00:16:36,033 --> 00:16:38,975
- You're texting with Cal?
- What else am I gonna do?
317
00:16:39,244 --> 00:16:42,457
It's not like I'm busy with
any important riot duties.
318
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:46,586
Oh, my God. Sitting this out
must be so hard for you.
319
00:16:47,587 --> 00:16:51,006
You gonna spontaneously combust if
you're not in charge of something soon?
320
00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:53,175
Whatever you say, my great leader.
321
00:16:54,677 --> 00:16:58,723
I am only here to serve
you, my great leader.
322
00:17:00,224 --> 00:17:01,642
Well, that's kinda hot.
323
00:17:03,543 --> 00:17:04,878
[both chuckle]
324
00:17:05,187 --> 00:17:06,230
What can I tell you?
325
00:17:06,313 --> 00:17:10,317
Yeah, you can keep crying about Hugo...
or you can make another decision.
326
00:17:11,611 --> 00:17:13,886
It's hard to lose a pet, eh.
327
00:17:14,279 --> 00:17:16,782
Especially when he gets
blown up by your ex-husband
328
00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:18,868
during a botched attempt
to murder your neighbor.
329
00:17:18,951 --> 00:17:21,036
I mean, it's a tale as old as time.
330
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,914
Someone, who was definitely
not my meditation instructor
331
00:17:23,998 --> 00:17:25,207
at rehab number seven in Sedona,
332
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:28,544
once told me that
depression is holding on...
333
00:17:29,545 --> 00:17:32,632
and sadness is, uh... letting go.
334
00:17:33,382 --> 00:17:36,511
I think it's time for
you to let go of Hugo.
335
00:17:38,303 --> 00:17:42,099
You're right. You're absolutely right.
336
00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:44,769
I have to let go.
337
00:17:48,606 --> 00:17:49,607
What're you doing?
338
00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:51,358
- Thank you.
- All right.
339
00:17:51,441 --> 00:17:54,153
Whoa! Boundaries, right?
So, there you go.
340
00:17:54,236 --> 00:17:55,905
Let's keep it professional.
341
00:17:56,989 --> 00:17:57,990
[sighs]
342
00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:10,294
- Hi.
- Hi.
343
00:18:10,377 --> 00:18:13,422
My name's Lorna Morello Muccio.
344
00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:15,132
Is that German?
345
00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:17,384
No, I'm Italian. [laughs]
346
00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:19,845
Yeah. [chuckles] I know you're Italian.
347
00:18:19,929 --> 00:18:22,264
Your name may as well be Lorna Lasagna.
348
00:18:22,347 --> 00:18:24,016
Anyway, miss...
349
00:18:25,059 --> 00:18:26,477
continue. [sighs]
350
00:18:28,228 --> 00:18:30,272
I've been having these dreams.
351
00:18:32,316 --> 00:18:33,984
Go on.
352
00:18:34,303 --> 00:18:37,097
[stammers] Well, they're
kinda like sexy dreams?
353
00:18:38,502 --> 00:18:40,504
[stammers] Do these dreams, uh...
354
00:18:41,116 --> 00:18:43,493
involve penises?
355
00:18:43,578 --> 00:18:48,165
Because that is going to drastically
reduce my interest in the subject matter.
356
00:18:48,614 --> 00:18:49,959
No penises.
357
00:18:50,042 --> 00:18:53,128
- Well, not exactly.
- [sighs]
358
00:18:53,212 --> 00:18:56,246
It's a little embarrassing, honestly.
[chuckles nervously]
359
00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:58,710
Um, I'm riding a whale...
360
00:19:00,699 --> 00:19:03,160
- in the ocean.
- [both chuckle]
361
00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:07,059
And the water, on my skin,
it feels so amazing.
362
00:19:07,649 --> 00:19:10,354
[breathing heavily] And, you know,
they have those... those blow holes...
363
00:19:10,437 --> 00:19:11,772
- Hey. Come on.
- ...and it's aimed right...
364
00:19:11,856 --> 00:19:13,357
Hey, hey.
365
00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:15,943
I think we're out of time.
366
00:19:17,361 --> 00:19:19,113
[whispers] Please fuck me.
367
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,249
What about Vinnie?
368
00:19:22,407 --> 00:19:24,243
I really need your help.
369
00:19:24,326 --> 00:19:27,955
I'm so fucking horny,
and I can't stand it.
370
00:19:28,038 --> 00:19:29,123
And I need you to fuck me.
371
00:19:29,206 --> 00:19:30,540
- You're begging me?
- I'm begging you.
372
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:31,667
- You're begging me?
- Yeah.
373
00:19:31,751 --> 00:19:33,628
- You know I'm a doctor, right?
- Yeah. [heavy breathing]
374
00:19:33,711 --> 00:19:36,505
- You serious?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm really serious.
375
00:19:37,464 --> 00:19:39,049
Look after your patient.
376
00:19:40,425 --> 00:19:41,636
Your tits feel amazing.
377
00:19:41,719 --> 00:19:43,929
Oh, my God. I missed you so much.
378
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:46,473
[both breathing heavily]
379
00:19:46,556 --> 00:19:48,350
[Lorna moans]
380
00:19:48,433 --> 00:19:50,185
What happens in a riot, stays in a riot?
381
00:19:50,464 --> 00:19:51,673
Yeah.
382
00:19:58,402 --> 00:19:59,612
[sighs]
383
00:20:03,282 --> 00:20:05,951
Hand me that jug of oil, would you?
384
00:20:06,035 --> 00:20:09,079
You ain't greasing up like the rest
of those beach bums outside, are you?
385
00:20:09,884 --> 00:20:12,545
[chuckles] I haven't
had a tan since '62.
386
00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:15,377
[sighs] We're not gonna
last long at this rate.
387
00:20:16,128 --> 00:20:19,882
The human body can sustain itself
for up to three weeks without food.
388
00:20:20,372 --> 00:20:22,874
Myself, I've gone as long as eight days.
389
00:20:23,593 --> 00:20:27,097
Ran into some unexpected weather
in Virginia on the trail.
390
00:20:28,015 --> 00:20:30,517
You start hallucinating eventually...
391
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,312
but that could be fun,
if you do it right.
392
00:20:33,395 --> 00:20:34,939
[chuckles] Shit!
393
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:38,192
That sounds like the kind of
vacation I need right about now.
394
00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:39,944
Get out my head.
395
00:20:40,027 --> 00:20:42,196
Can I do that without the
starving and being outdoors?
396
00:20:42,584 --> 00:20:44,669
You find the dope that's right for you.
397
00:20:44,694 --> 00:20:45,731
[chuckles]
398
00:20:45,756 --> 00:20:47,987
♪ Hot Cheetos and Takis
Hot Cheetos and Takis ♪
399
00:20:48,243 --> 00:20:51,157
♪ I can't get enough of these
Hot Cheetos and Takis ♪
400
00:20:51,182 --> 00:20:53,685
♪ Snack, snack Snack, crunch ♪
401
00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:56,870
♪ Snack, snack Snack, munch ♪
402
00:20:57,218 --> 00:20:59,929
- Christ on a cracker.
- [Red] Have you seen this video?
403
00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:01,966
"Hot Cheetos & Takis"? It's wonderful.
404
00:21:02,049 --> 00:21:03,759
Children are so motivated these days.
405
00:21:03,843 --> 00:21:07,179
These snacks are delicious.
Spicy. Cheesy. Crunchy.
406
00:21:07,262 --> 00:21:09,598
Great. Even the adults
have lost their minds.
407
00:21:09,877 --> 00:21:11,767
The President of the
United States sent them.
408
00:21:11,851 --> 00:21:13,518
They're meeting our demands.
409
00:21:13,602 --> 00:21:15,604
We won! America is great.
410
00:21:15,869 --> 00:21:18,273
Shit. All this craziness is
actually getting us somewhere?
411
00:21:18,357 --> 00:21:21,026
Which means life in here will
soon return to status quo.
412
00:21:21,110 --> 00:21:23,445
- Hallelujah.
- Therefore, we have limited time
413
00:21:23,528 --> 00:21:25,865
to drug Piscatella, drag him inside,
414
00:21:25,948 --> 00:21:27,908
and force the signed
confession out of him.
415
00:21:28,398 --> 00:21:30,191
Oh, boy.
416
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,247
What do you think? What
should our plan be?
417
00:21:33,330 --> 00:21:36,125
What strong-but-not-so-strong-will-kill-him-poison
should we use?
418
00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:37,542
Oh, I could google it!
419
00:21:38,222 --> 00:21:40,725
♪ Snack, snack Snack, crunch ♪
420
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,214
- [Red] Oh, shit.
- Qué?
421
00:21:42,484 --> 00:21:45,029
- We're out of Takis.
- Oh. We gotta go.
422
00:21:49,404 --> 00:21:52,407
Sometimes, you gotta let it
be someone else's problem.
423
00:21:52,432 --> 00:21:55,019
- [Taystee chomps]
- I mean, I'm just saying, though.
424
00:21:56,186 --> 00:21:59,648
You'd think by now some company would
want to capitalize on my fame.
425
00:22:00,232 --> 00:22:05,487
I been in a national magazine and
I'm a popular coffee-oriented meme.
426
00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:08,183
Like, where you at, Starbucks?
427
00:22:08,246 --> 00:22:09,491
There she go.
428
00:22:09,574 --> 00:22:12,452
- We lost her to the fame monster.
- [Taystee chuckles]
429
00:22:12,536 --> 00:22:14,433
- [phone ringing]
- Shit!
430
00:22:15,705 --> 00:22:16,916
[Black Cindy clears throat]
431
00:22:16,999 --> 00:22:18,542
Riot headquarters.
432
00:22:18,625 --> 00:22:21,545
How can you make our prison
dreams come true today?
433
00:22:21,628 --> 00:22:23,798
This is Nita, from Governor
Hutchinson's office.
434
00:22:23,881 --> 00:22:27,301
Oh, hey, Nita! Girl, what up?
[clears throat]
435
00:22:28,427 --> 00:22:31,096
Them snacks you dropped off,
though, were delightful.
436
00:22:31,180 --> 00:22:33,265
[scoffs] Truly. We delighted.
437
00:22:33,348 --> 00:22:34,724
- I...
- I'm so glad.
438
00:22:34,809 --> 00:22:37,519
Hi, Nita. I'm sorry about that.
Yes. This is Taystee.
439
00:22:37,602 --> 00:22:40,772
[whispers] Put her on speaker.
Put her on speaker!
440
00:22:43,125 --> 00:22:46,128
Taystee. It was nice to
meet you in person today.
441
00:22:46,153 --> 00:22:48,572
- Oh, shit! She bein' all polite.
- [chuckles]
442
00:22:48,597 --> 00:22:49,807
- It sure was.
- [chuckles]
443
00:22:49,949 --> 00:22:51,450
- [both mimicking] "It sure was."
- [mouths]
444
00:22:51,708 --> 00:22:54,494
I'm so glad that you're enjoying
the snacks and the tampons.
445
00:22:54,578 --> 00:22:57,414
I'm calling to discuss the
release of the hostages.
446
00:22:57,497 --> 00:22:59,809
How would you and your
team like to handle?
447
00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:03,587
What the fuck she say?
448
00:23:03,895 --> 00:23:05,714
[stutters] I'm sorry. I
think I misheard you.
449
00:23:05,797 --> 00:23:08,258
Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe it's my reception.
450
00:23:08,342 --> 00:23:11,929
I said I'm calling to discuss
the release of the hostages.
451
00:23:13,388 --> 00:23:15,933
Yes, but what about the
rest of our demands?
452
00:23:16,016 --> 00:23:20,354
The governor is fully prepared to
do everything he can to meet them,
453
00:23:20,437 --> 00:23:22,647
but we delivered supplies
as an act of good faith,
454
00:23:22,731 --> 00:23:26,426
and now we'll need the same from
you and the inmates in return.
455
00:23:27,486 --> 00:23:31,115
Yeah, see, I don't see how some
snacks equals our hostages.
456
00:23:31,198 --> 00:23:35,410
Miss Jefferson, please don't make the
mistake of thinking we're the enemy.
457
00:23:35,494 --> 00:23:37,829
Everyone wants this to end peacefully.
458
00:23:37,913 --> 00:23:39,164
But we need your help.
459
00:23:39,578 --> 00:23:43,624
If you surrender the hostages, we will
do our best to meet your demands.
460
00:23:44,317 --> 00:23:46,171
[scoffs] Do you think I'm not smart?
461
00:23:46,255 --> 00:23:49,863
You think I don't hear those trick
words, "Do our best," Miss, uh...
462
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:52,594
- Reddy.
- Well, my best friend is gone, Miss Reddy.
463
00:23:52,677 --> 00:23:54,942
So, "Do our best" ain't
good enough no more.
464
00:23:56,348 --> 00:23:57,557
"Do our best."
465
00:23:58,475 --> 00:24:00,185
What my defense lawyer told me.
466
00:24:00,269 --> 00:24:03,563
Man, you'd think they'd come up
with some better shit by now.
467
00:24:04,398 --> 00:24:05,900
So, where does this leave us?
468
00:24:08,527 --> 00:24:10,112
Right where it dropped us off.
469
00:24:11,196 --> 00:24:12,322
[sighs]
470
00:24:20,455 --> 00:24:21,665
Tasha?
471
00:24:30,299 --> 00:24:31,508
Hello.
472
00:24:34,636 --> 00:24:36,096
You look just like...
473
00:24:36,564 --> 00:24:38,231
It's nice to meet you, Miss Jefferson.
474
00:24:38,316 --> 00:24:40,318
Mia, please.
475
00:24:40,943 --> 00:24:43,696
- [sighs] You wanna sit?
- Oh.
476
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:46,277
[Mia] Yeah. Thanks.
477
00:24:48,024 --> 00:24:49,400
Thank you for meeting me.
478
00:24:53,433 --> 00:24:54,977
Why didn't you want me?
479
00:24:56,849 --> 00:24:57,853
Tasha...
480
00:24:57,878 --> 00:24:59,713
It's Taystee now.
481
00:25:03,134 --> 00:25:04,343
I was 15.
482
00:25:05,636 --> 00:25:07,555
I didn't have nothing.
483
00:25:07,638 --> 00:25:10,349
No place to live. No parents.
484
00:25:11,517 --> 00:25:14,854
Just a boyfriend and a tiny room in
his nasty aunt's apartment, then...
485
00:25:16,355 --> 00:25:17,523
Then I got pregnant.
486
00:25:18,816 --> 00:25:21,235
She told us she'd kick us
both out if we kept it...
487
00:25:22,195 --> 00:25:23,321
You.
488
00:25:24,405 --> 00:25:25,614
Shit.
489
00:25:27,616 --> 00:25:30,744
I sound like one of them bad TV
movies on the white lady channel.
490
00:25:31,996 --> 00:25:33,747
- Lifetime.
- What?
491
00:25:35,208 --> 00:25:37,460
Channel where all those
white ladies be cryin'.
492
00:25:37,543 --> 00:25:38,752
It's Lifetime.
493
00:25:39,670 --> 00:25:42,966
Ain't that also where them crazy parents
be dressing up their kids like the...
494
00:25:43,049 --> 00:25:44,758
the dolls you put on top
of the toilet paper?
495
00:25:44,842 --> 00:25:47,178
Yeah. [chuckles] Toddlers and Tiaras.
496
00:25:47,261 --> 00:25:48,429
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- That's my favorite!
497
00:25:48,512 --> 00:25:50,348
[both laughing]
498
00:25:52,558 --> 00:25:54,936
I spent so many hours thinkin'
about what you'd look like...
499
00:25:56,854 --> 00:25:58,439
who you grew to be and...
500
00:25:59,648 --> 00:26:00,984
what makes you laugh.
501
00:26:03,069 --> 00:26:04,945
And you, here...
502
00:26:06,697 --> 00:26:08,199
are better than I ever dreamed.
503
00:26:11,077 --> 00:26:13,871
Thank you for giving me a chance.
504
00:26:16,165 --> 00:26:18,167
Thank you for finding me.
505
00:26:19,517 --> 00:26:21,018
[Timaya] Mommy!
506
00:26:21,587 --> 00:26:23,297
Baby, what are you doin' here?
507
00:26:23,381 --> 00:26:25,466
Hey, baby. We headed to the church.
508
00:26:25,549 --> 00:26:27,718
Hopin' to get baby girl
some new shoes at the sale.
509
00:26:27,801 --> 00:26:30,013
- [Mia] Oh...
- [Owen] Who's your friend?
510
00:26:30,638 --> 00:26:32,640
This is Taystee.
511
00:26:32,723 --> 00:26:34,225
Um, you remember Robin?
512
00:26:34,308 --> 00:26:37,061
She used to live over on Troy?
This is her girl.
513
00:26:37,145 --> 00:26:39,105
Oh. Right. Hey, Taystee.
514
00:26:39,188 --> 00:26:41,190
Daddy, let's go!
515
00:26:41,274 --> 00:26:43,359
All right, baby. I'll see you at home.
516
00:26:43,442 --> 00:26:45,361
[Timaya] Bye, Mommy! Bye, other lady!
517
00:26:48,918 --> 00:26:50,295
They don't know about me.
518
00:26:51,950 --> 00:26:55,413
They will. I promise.
519
00:26:55,557 --> 00:26:56,891
It's just, I wasn't...
520
00:26:57,831 --> 00:27:00,043
You know, nobody teaches you
how to be doin' these things.
521
00:27:00,126 --> 00:27:03,129
And I wanted to meet you first.
And reconnect.
522
00:27:06,299 --> 00:27:08,926
I'll do right, okay?
523
00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:12,930
I want you to be family.
524
00:27:20,854 --> 00:27:22,065
[indistinct chatter and laughter]
525
00:27:22,148 --> 00:27:24,608
Chubby dude, you can
cross-examine the witness.
526
00:27:30,590 --> 00:27:34,219
Ladies and gentlemen, a tap dance.
527
00:27:35,578 --> 00:27:37,037
Miss Rice.
528
00:27:37,121 --> 00:27:39,790
Earlier, you stated that your favorite
television show is Saved by the Bell.
529
00:27:39,873 --> 00:27:42,085
- Is this correct?
- Objectification!
530
00:27:42,168 --> 00:27:43,169
[grunts]
531
00:27:43,252 --> 00:27:45,213
Nope. Sit down. Answer
the man's question.
532
00:27:46,922 --> 00:27:48,966
That's correct. Saved by the Bell.
533
00:27:49,049 --> 00:27:51,885
Mmm-hmm. And, uh, what would you
say is your favorite episode?
534
00:27:52,224 --> 00:27:56,728
Uh, that's easy. Um, the one where
Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills.
535
00:27:57,141 --> 00:27:58,476
'Cause it's real relatable. [chuckles]
536
00:27:58,559 --> 00:28:00,103
[chuckling] Yes, it's a classic.
537
00:28:00,186 --> 00:28:03,439
Yes. See, Jessie could not handle
538
00:28:03,522 --> 00:28:06,400
the pressure of midterms
and her singing group...
539
00:28:07,132 --> 00:28:08,174
could she?
540
00:28:08,324 --> 00:28:11,090
Except, I didn't like how
they were, like, you know,
541
00:28:11,115 --> 00:28:13,222
"Drugs are bad. Blah blah blah."
542
00:28:13,246 --> 00:28:16,582
Because I just don't think that that's
a good message to be sending to kids.
543
00:28:17,208 --> 00:28:18,291
[Big Boo] Hmm.
544
00:28:18,347 --> 00:28:21,267
And what do you think
of, say, "Boss Lady"?
545
00:28:23,636 --> 00:28:24,678
You know,
546
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:26,830
the one where the whole gang is
working at the Malibu Sands.
547
00:28:26,855 --> 00:28:29,816
Stacey has to be the boss
and nothing goes wrong.
548
00:28:30,941 --> 00:28:34,302
- Oh, yeah, that one.
- [chuckling]
549
00:28:34,506 --> 00:28:37,447
It's funny. So uncomplicated.
550
00:28:37,471 --> 00:28:38,597
[Big Boo] Hmm.
551
00:28:40,447 --> 00:28:42,282
Miss Rice.
552
00:28:42,365 --> 00:28:45,160
Would you say that if
something is your favorite,
553
00:28:45,243 --> 00:28:46,744
you will have seen every episode?
554
00:28:47,579 --> 00:28:49,789
- Of course.
- [chuckles]
555
00:28:49,872 --> 00:28:51,333
I'm glad we agree on that.
556
00:28:51,416 --> 00:28:54,377
Because I don't know about the rest of
the ladies and gentlemen in the court,
557
00:28:54,461 --> 00:28:56,546
but if I say something is my favorite,
558
00:28:56,629 --> 00:28:59,799
you better be damn sure that I have
seen every episode multiple times.
559
00:28:59,882 --> 00:29:03,511
And I know that show like
the back of my hand. Mmm?
560
00:29:03,595 --> 00:29:05,680
Therefore, you will forgive my confusion
561
00:29:05,763 --> 00:29:09,309
as to why you have not seen
episode ten, season three,
562
00:29:09,392 --> 00:29:11,269
where, despite the delightful ending,
563
00:29:11,353 --> 00:29:14,705
which involves the entire gang
coming together to help Stacey,
564
00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:17,528
everything goes wrong!
565
00:29:17,651 --> 00:29:19,069
[inmates chatter]
566
00:29:19,801 --> 00:29:21,678
Who is Stacey?
567
00:29:21,824 --> 00:29:24,702
I submit... the witness is a liar.
568
00:29:24,766 --> 00:29:26,017
She is not credible.
569
00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:27,852
And I have no further questions!
570
00:29:27,936 --> 00:29:29,646
- [inmates cheering]
- Wait a minute!
571
00:29:29,729 --> 00:29:31,742
- Wait a minute!
- [applause]
572
00:29:31,767 --> 00:29:33,664
That ain't got nothing
to do with anything!
573
00:29:33,733 --> 00:29:36,152
We still saw her give Donuts the gun.
574
00:29:36,235 --> 00:29:38,738
Yes! She is guilty!
575
00:29:38,822 --> 00:29:41,283
Even if Lisa Turtle is my favorite!
576
00:29:41,366 --> 00:29:43,159
- That's crazy. Come on.
- She is a liar.
577
00:29:43,242 --> 00:29:44,911
No one likes Lisa Turtle best.
578
00:29:44,994 --> 00:29:47,205
- Poo! Poo! Poo!
- [overlapping chatter]
579
00:29:47,289 --> 00:29:50,208
- Order in the court! Order in the court!
- This is ridiculous!
580
00:29:50,292 --> 00:29:51,876
There's got to be a better way.
581
00:30:09,644 --> 00:30:10,729
[sighs]
582
00:30:11,355 --> 00:30:13,732
[Aleida] Holy fuck,
am I gonna be famous.
583
00:30:13,815 --> 00:30:16,318
[Margarita] Okay, this
shit is fucking bananas.
584
00:30:16,401 --> 00:30:18,945
Aleida? Hi. April. We
spoke on the phone.
585
00:30:19,028 --> 00:30:21,406
Let's get you inside. And
we'll get you into makeup.
586
00:30:21,490 --> 00:30:23,199
You hear that shit?
"Get you into makeup."
587
00:30:24,451 --> 00:30:26,244
Hey, Ape, let me ask you a question.
588
00:30:26,328 --> 00:30:27,871
I get paid for this shit, right?
589
00:30:27,954 --> 00:30:30,624
You think you could give me
that grand in cash, up-front?
590
00:30:30,707 --> 00:30:33,126
[chuckles] What? Did someone tell
you you were gonna get paid?
591
00:30:33,209 --> 00:30:34,753
We can't pay our guests. It's against...
592
00:30:34,836 --> 00:30:37,797
- I'm just fucking with you, Ape. [laughs]
- Okay.
593
00:30:37,881 --> 00:30:40,049
We're really going to need to get
those "fucks" out of your system
594
00:30:40,133 --> 00:30:42,051
before we go live.
595
00:30:42,908 --> 00:30:45,702
You would not believe the
cost of an electrical rewire.
596
00:30:45,889 --> 00:30:47,766
Totally astronomical.
597
00:30:47,849 --> 00:30:51,185
So, it's like, uh, do we try
to do the work ourselves?
598
00:30:51,269 --> 00:30:53,772
- You know, I bought a book.
- You're not an electrician.
599
00:30:53,855 --> 00:30:55,231
Okay, I could try.
600
00:30:55,314 --> 00:30:57,859
And what happens when the whole
house goes up in flames,
601
00:30:57,942 --> 00:30:59,444
we're left with nothing, or, God forbid,
602
00:30:59,528 --> 00:31:01,905
you get a shock and cook
yourself from the inside out...
603
00:31:01,988 --> 00:31:04,491
Stop. Stop. You're gonna
stress out the muffin.
604
00:31:04,574 --> 00:31:07,619
- [blows and whispers] You're right.
- Babe...
605
00:31:11,373 --> 00:31:13,416
- [Bell exhales]
- So, what you been up to, man?
606
00:31:14,501 --> 00:31:16,461
Wanting to die, mostly.
607
00:31:17,962 --> 00:31:20,382
Oh, careful there.
608
00:31:21,340 --> 00:31:24,553
Your mom can't hear you usin'
the D word, understand?
609
00:31:25,261 --> 00:31:27,931
Don't want you bouncin'
around a rubber room.
610
00:31:28,598 --> 00:31:30,725
[stutters] Yeah, that's a
rough break you got, man.
611
00:31:30,809 --> 00:31:32,519
But, you know, uh...
612
00:31:33,895 --> 00:31:35,146
it's gonna be fine.
613
00:31:36,699 --> 00:31:38,942
Why does everyone keep
saying that to me?
614
00:31:39,025 --> 00:31:41,528
[stammering] That things
are gonna be fine?
615
00:31:42,236 --> 00:31:44,363
How does that work, exactly?
616
00:31:45,093 --> 00:31:46,637
Is there a, uh...
617
00:31:46,908 --> 00:31:52,914
a magic wand or some type of special
God who loves homicidal white guys?
618
00:31:54,916 --> 00:31:56,125
It's not gonna be fine.
619
00:31:57,210 --> 00:32:02,048
The whole point of life is waiting
to see what comes next, but...
620
00:32:03,197 --> 00:32:05,617
I already know exactly
how mine's gonna go.
621
00:32:07,470 --> 00:32:08,638
So what's the point?
622
00:32:10,098 --> 00:32:11,182
I should die.
623
00:32:17,481 --> 00:32:20,108
- Run?
- Mmm-hmm. Run.
624
00:32:20,191 --> 00:32:24,320
As fast as you can, until you feel
like your lungs is about to collapse.
625
00:32:24,404 --> 00:32:28,741
Until you can't think about nothing
but how tired your legs are.
626
00:32:29,408 --> 00:32:30,994
I think I'm still drunk.
627
00:32:31,077 --> 00:32:33,163
[clicks tongue] You won't be after this.
628
00:32:33,997 --> 00:32:36,040
- Come on.
- [groans]
629
00:32:36,124 --> 00:32:38,627
Hey! We gonna need your snacks.
630
00:32:38,710 --> 00:32:40,754
- [scoffs]
- Oh, you see how you just say, "yours"?
631
00:32:40,837 --> 00:32:42,380
As in, belonging to us?
632
00:32:42,464 --> 00:32:44,232
It's important.
633
00:32:44,334 --> 00:32:45,670
You're, like, what, the snack police?
634
00:32:45,753 --> 00:32:47,386
Yo, they were a bribe.
635
00:32:47,418 --> 00:32:50,238
Mr. Fancy-Pants Governor thought he
would trick us into surrendering
636
00:32:50,269 --> 00:32:52,397
- with snacks and tampons.
- Mmm-hmm.
637
00:32:52,543 --> 00:32:54,252
They trying to plug all our holes.
638
00:32:54,336 --> 00:32:56,547
So you're throwing them away?
[stammers] That's a great plan.
639
00:32:56,630 --> 00:32:58,215
We gotta show 'em we serious.
640
00:32:58,298 --> 00:33:00,217
- That's badass.
- No, it's stupid.
641
00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:02,511
Yeah. Don't... don't
we want this to end?
642
00:33:02,595 --> 00:33:05,180
- We want justice.
- Well, you want justice.
643
00:33:05,263 --> 00:33:07,516
We want to go home to our
families at some point.
644
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,561
Well, some of us ain't
got a home outside.
645
00:33:10,644 --> 00:33:12,563
This is my home, and I'm
gonna fight for it.
646
00:33:13,271 --> 00:33:15,983
Do you think that they would be
doing this to us if we were men?
647
00:33:16,673 --> 00:33:17,892
This is so insulting.
648
00:33:17,917 --> 00:33:19,610
- Exactly.
- Here we go.
649
00:33:19,658 --> 00:33:21,087
- [Piper] What?
- There she goes.
650
00:33:21,130 --> 00:33:22,901
I'm done sitting out
there and sunbathing.
651
00:33:22,926 --> 00:33:24,490
I mean, we've all done the hard part.
652
00:33:24,622 --> 00:33:27,773
That's what I'm saying. All
we gotta do is wait 'em out.
653
00:33:27,801 --> 00:33:29,010
We owe this to ourselves.
654
00:33:29,251 --> 00:33:30,878
That's right. [chuckles]
655
00:33:32,630 --> 00:33:34,047
[Piper grunts]
656
00:33:37,092 --> 00:33:38,176
How can I help?
657
00:33:38,260 --> 00:33:39,886
You can collect.
658
00:33:40,094 --> 00:33:41,303
But people ain't gonna like you.
659
00:33:42,139 --> 00:33:43,306
Story of my life.
660
00:33:44,231 --> 00:33:46,651
- [Taystee] Gimme these goddamn...
- Yo! I just opened that shit, man!
661
00:33:46,930 --> 00:33:50,225
We need all y'all motherfucking Cheetos.
Give 'em up.
662
00:33:52,439 --> 00:33:53,691
[blows]
663
00:34:31,647 --> 00:34:32,898
[sighs]
664
00:34:35,067 --> 00:34:36,443
[groans]
665
00:34:49,998 --> 00:34:51,583
[chuckles]
666
00:34:58,653 --> 00:35:00,696
- [man] Sixty seconds.
- Almost finished?
667
00:35:00,735 --> 00:35:02,094
[Aleida] Well, if what's-her-face
668
00:35:02,119 --> 00:35:04,095
stopped using words like,
"subtle" and "dewy,"
669
00:35:04,154 --> 00:35:05,906
we could've finished yesterday.
670
00:35:06,991 --> 00:35:09,076
- [sighs]
- You look gorgeous.
671
00:35:09,159 --> 00:35:10,369
Thank you.
672
00:35:10,452 --> 00:35:13,288
All right. Good luck! Make
your answers real long.
673
00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:14,582
You'll sound smarter that way.
674
00:35:14,665 --> 00:35:17,084
And turn your right side to the camera.
That's your pretty side.
675
00:35:17,174 --> 00:35:19,260
And use the news guy's name a lot.
676
00:35:19,343 --> 00:35:22,293
Ooh, ooh! And always answer a
question with another question.
677
00:35:22,365 --> 00:35:23,658
- Ooh.
- [man] Fifteen seconds.
678
00:35:23,683 --> 00:35:25,824
[sighs] Look, do me a favor
and don't get me fired, okay?
679
00:35:25,849 --> 00:35:27,652
Fired? I'm gonna get
your ass a promotion.
680
00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:30,931
[sighs] Aleida, this is Susan.
She'll be interviewing you today.
681
00:35:31,015 --> 00:35:34,393
- [man] Air in five, four, three, two...
- Hello.
682
00:35:34,476 --> 00:35:35,603
[exhales]
683
00:35:35,686 --> 00:35:38,522
Welcome back to New York Metro,
where we're continuing to track
684
00:35:38,606 --> 00:35:41,651
the developing situation at
Litchfield Federal Prison.
685
00:35:41,837 --> 00:35:46,130
Joining us today is Aleida Diaz,
a former inmate at Litchfield.
686
00:35:46,264 --> 00:35:49,809
Miss Diaz, I understand you
were very recently released.
687
00:35:50,701 --> 00:35:52,244
Was I recently released?
688
00:35:55,122 --> 00:35:56,624
[Susan] I'm not sure what you mean.
689
00:35:56,707 --> 00:35:58,125
Exactly, Susie-Q. [chuckles]
690
00:35:59,306 --> 00:36:00,432
It's Susan.
691
00:36:00,642 --> 00:36:05,298
Have you had any contact with anyone at
Litchfield since this situation arose?
692
00:36:05,374 --> 00:36:07,418
Do you... do you still
have friends inside?
693
00:36:08,845 --> 00:36:11,138
Yeah. I... And I talked to them.
694
00:36:11,401 --> 00:36:12,527
Are they okay?
695
00:36:13,502 --> 00:36:15,963
Well, it's hard to get answers
from those bitches, you know?
696
00:36:16,039 --> 00:36:18,582
- Oh. Sorry. Can I say "bitches"?
- You can. [chuckles]
697
00:36:18,730 --> 00:36:20,356
- Well, shit.
- Oh, you can't say that.
698
00:36:20,439 --> 00:36:22,900
What kind of fucking
bullshit rule is that?
699
00:36:22,984 --> 00:36:24,110
Okay.
700
00:36:24,944 --> 00:36:27,571
What do you think she's
doing, right now?
701
00:36:28,823 --> 00:36:32,785
Probably sitting on her veranda,
702
00:36:32,868 --> 00:36:37,164
being served some kind
of garden fresh salad
703
00:36:37,411 --> 00:36:40,581
with walnuts and goat cheese.
704
00:36:40,870 --> 00:36:46,876
Maybe it's accompanied by some
sort of tropical iced green tea.
705
00:36:47,219 --> 00:36:48,553
Goat cheese.
706
00:36:49,279 --> 00:36:50,572
That's so Judy.
707
00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:53,765
She probably knows the
goat it came from.
708
00:36:54,711 --> 00:36:56,587
You think she liked us?
709
00:36:57,499 --> 00:36:58,561
Maybe.
710
00:36:58,999 --> 00:37:01,335
Before we kidnapped her and
nailed her to a cross.
711
00:37:01,597 --> 00:37:02,806
Yeah.
712
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,360
Hand over all your
Cheetos and Takis. Now.
713
00:37:06,443 --> 00:37:08,905
Ooh, Chapman coming in hot!
714
00:37:09,475 --> 00:37:10,476
We didn't get any.
715
00:37:10,501 --> 00:37:12,629
Let's go. Hand 'em over.
716
00:37:12,762 --> 00:37:16,015
We have no idea what
you're talking about.
717
00:37:16,162 --> 00:37:18,164
- You are a liar.
- [Black Cindy] Mmm-hmm.
718
00:37:18,223 --> 00:37:20,600
Anyone ever tell you about the
catching bees with honey thing?
719
00:37:20,707 --> 00:37:23,460
- It's important to draw a hard line.
- The line was, like, 100 feet back.
720
00:37:23,544 --> 00:37:26,282
- Check her fingers.
- [scoffs] Perfect.
721
00:37:26,381 --> 00:37:30,135
'Cause you know what was on my
agenda today? Molest an old lady.
722
00:37:30,968 --> 00:37:32,136
Fine.
723
00:37:33,374 --> 00:37:34,625
I'll do it.
724
00:37:36,377 --> 00:37:37,754
Let me see your fingers.
725
00:37:40,143 --> 00:37:42,020
Let me see your... Let
me see your finger.
726
00:37:42,604 --> 00:37:44,064
- Let me see your fingers.
- [Anita grunts]
727
00:37:45,565 --> 00:37:47,609
- [Black Cindy sighs]
- See?
728
00:37:48,276 --> 00:37:51,864
Holy shit. Nancy Drew
done uncovered a suspect.
729
00:37:51,923 --> 00:37:53,883
- Let's search 'em.
- Now, hold on a second.
730
00:37:53,991 --> 00:37:58,996
You don't have the right to go
through our things like that. But...
731
00:38:00,372 --> 00:38:03,125
- [Piper] Gotcha.
- So much for respecting your elders!
732
00:38:03,598 --> 00:38:05,433
[Black Cindy] Yeah.
733
00:38:06,506 --> 00:38:07,882
Psst.
734
00:38:08,505 --> 00:38:09,589
Psst!
735
00:38:20,558 --> 00:38:22,728
- You gonna miss me?
- Nah.
736
00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:26,388
You just jealous 'cause I
got a family and you don't.
737
00:38:27,733 --> 00:38:29,567
Family ain't got nothing to do with it.
738
00:38:30,235 --> 00:38:32,070
You think these people gonna like you?
739
00:38:33,613 --> 00:38:36,408
They sitting at home, having
themselves a nice little life,
740
00:38:36,491 --> 00:38:40,162
and then some hood rat gonna move in
and shit's gonna be like the Cosbys?
741
00:38:40,871 --> 00:38:42,831
[chuckles] Girl, you trippin'.
742
00:38:44,041 --> 00:38:45,292
Well...
743
00:38:46,780 --> 00:38:49,992
I hope one day you find
your family, same as me.
744
00:39:02,267 --> 00:39:05,145
I told y'all! [laughing]
745
00:39:05,228 --> 00:39:06,646
[squeals]
746
00:39:06,729 --> 00:39:08,023
[sighs]
747
00:39:10,358 --> 00:39:11,443
Don't mind them.
748
00:39:11,526 --> 00:39:12,903
[laughing]
749
00:39:14,487 --> 00:39:16,364
Yo, where should I put this?
In the back?
750
00:39:16,448 --> 00:39:17,783
[stutters] Taystee...
751
00:39:19,526 --> 00:39:20,569
I'm so sorry.
752
00:39:22,913 --> 00:39:24,414
You... you can't come live with us.
753
00:39:27,292 --> 00:39:28,376
Wait...
754
00:39:29,294 --> 00:39:31,129
Why? Ms. Tendler said that you...
755
00:39:31,213 --> 00:39:32,630
[stutters] I'm...
756
00:39:32,714 --> 00:39:35,175
I don't think she understood
what I was trying to tell her.
757
00:39:35,258 --> 00:39:36,634
Why can't I come?
758
00:39:36,952 --> 00:39:38,620
It's just not a good time for us.
759
00:39:39,596 --> 00:39:40,806
Us.
760
00:39:42,390 --> 00:39:44,810
- Right.
- Uh, look.
761
00:39:44,893 --> 00:39:46,478
I want you to take this.
762
00:39:47,570 --> 00:39:49,697
It's not much, but I want to help you.
763
00:39:51,379 --> 00:39:54,590
Did you tell them... about me?
764
00:39:56,488 --> 00:39:58,406
- [cries]
- [grunts]
765
00:39:58,490 --> 00:40:01,284
- [crying]
- Guess this is you doin' right, huh?
766
00:40:01,368 --> 00:40:02,452
What's right for you!
767
00:40:04,787 --> 00:40:08,791
- Maybe I need to start doin' that, too.
- Please, Taystee, wait!
768
00:40:13,713 --> 00:40:15,257
[sobbing]
769
00:40:18,578 --> 00:40:19,970
All right. Now I have a question.
770
00:40:20,053 --> 00:40:23,390
How many of y'all took the stands at
your all's trials? Raise your hand.
771
00:40:25,767 --> 00:40:29,104
Wow! Ain't that some bull?
Well, neither did I.
772
00:40:29,187 --> 00:40:32,024
'Cause my lawyer told me that
I was a detriment to myself.
773
00:40:32,107 --> 00:40:34,276
[chuckles] Now, at the time,
I didn't take offense,
774
00:40:34,359 --> 00:40:36,987
because I was rather
high most of the time.
775
00:40:37,070 --> 00:40:39,364
And you know my brain wires
weren't firing correctly,
776
00:40:39,447 --> 00:40:40,698
if you know what I mean.
777
00:40:41,499 --> 00:40:44,920
But today, I'm standing here, right, and
I'm looking around at all of y'all.
778
00:40:45,245 --> 00:40:47,915
And I'm thinking... we can do better.
779
00:40:47,998 --> 00:40:50,542
Know what? Fuck that. We
have to do better than this.
780
00:40:50,625 --> 00:40:53,086
But you know what? It
really needs to be fair.
781
00:40:53,170 --> 00:40:56,214
Without all the goobly-goop of lawyers
and judges and the system and stuff.
782
00:40:56,298 --> 00:40:58,008
- Hmm.
- [Pennsatucky] Right?
783
00:40:58,508 --> 00:40:59,842
So, listen...
784
00:41:00,928 --> 00:41:02,179
I helped Donuts escape.
785
00:41:02,262 --> 00:41:03,721
- [all sigh]
- [Big Boo] What? Oh, Jesus!
786
00:41:03,805 --> 00:41:05,390
Oh, please.
787
00:41:05,473 --> 00:41:07,142
I strongly suggest you
shut the fuck up, girl.
788
00:41:07,225 --> 00:41:09,803
No. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
789
00:41:10,037 --> 00:41:12,940
Listen, my friend here, she's worried
that I'm gonna say too much.
790
00:41:13,023 --> 00:41:14,732
But all I can say is the truth.
791
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,443
And the truth is
792
00:41:16,526 --> 00:41:18,361
- I helped the guard escape.
- Oh, fuck.
793
00:41:19,529 --> 00:41:22,740
And, yeah, we had a relationship
that was difficult to define.
794
00:41:22,824 --> 00:41:24,492
It was even confusing at times.
795
00:41:24,576 --> 00:41:26,916
But... let me ask y'all.
796
00:41:26,941 --> 00:41:28,360
What would y'all have done
if you would've found him?
797
00:41:28,443 --> 00:41:30,253
- Cut off his balls.
- Murdered him.
798
00:41:30,277 --> 00:41:31,862
Poo! Poo!
799
00:41:31,946 --> 00:41:34,198
Realistically, we would have
roughed him up a little, you know.
800
00:41:34,747 --> 00:41:36,040
Just poked some shit up his ass,
801
00:41:36,123 --> 00:41:38,262
and then we would've stuck him in
the bubble with the rest of them.
802
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,926
What's the point? And then what?
803
00:41:40,973 --> 00:41:43,308
So you'd have another hostage. Whee!
804
00:41:44,059 --> 00:41:46,353
And then, another strike on your record.
805
00:41:46,436 --> 00:41:47,562
You know what you'd be doing, actually?
806
00:41:47,646 --> 00:41:49,148
You'd be staring down
the barrel of forever
807
00:41:49,231 --> 00:41:50,640
is what you'd be doing up in here.
808
00:41:50,665 --> 00:41:52,292
This is bullshit!
809
00:41:52,567 --> 00:41:55,362
She's not thinking about us. She
was protecting her boyfriend.
810
00:41:55,445 --> 00:41:56,946
No, it's not true. Come on. Hey!
811
00:41:57,031 --> 00:42:00,367
Listen, all I can do is stand up here
and tell you how I feel, all right?
812
00:42:00,450 --> 00:42:02,411
I'm a person. I'm talking to people.
813
00:42:03,328 --> 00:42:04,454
Okay?
814
00:42:04,751 --> 00:42:06,610
I'm just gonna leave you all to it.
How about that?
815
00:42:06,658 --> 00:42:07,659
And if y'all think that I deserve
816
00:42:07,874 --> 00:42:10,127
to be thrown up in the poo-poo
or whatever, then fine.
817
00:42:10,210 --> 00:42:12,063
That makes you no better than them.
818
00:42:12,145 --> 00:42:14,147
You know, that's really
sad, because they suck.
819
00:42:15,340 --> 00:42:18,760
We had the chance to rule hard up
in here. Y'all don't wanna rule?
820
00:42:22,848 --> 00:42:24,182
All right.
821
00:42:51,085 --> 00:42:53,087
Hey. Uh...
822
00:42:53,170 --> 00:42:55,214
- I thought I'd tell you something.
- Uh-huh.
823
00:42:55,797 --> 00:42:57,091
[sighs]
824
00:42:57,174 --> 00:42:58,967
Ah! Let me guess.
825
00:43:00,177 --> 00:43:05,014
Uh, you regret that your clit was
vibrating on my tongue 45 minutes ago,
826
00:43:05,099 --> 00:43:06,766
we can never do this again.
827
00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:08,807
Uh, you made a vow,
828
00:43:08,832 --> 00:43:10,937
you need to commit to Vinnie,
something like that?
829
00:43:11,020 --> 00:43:12,957
- Right? I mean, I get it.
- [sighs]
830
00:43:13,843 --> 00:43:15,179
I memorized it.
831
00:43:16,610 --> 00:43:18,352
You can save it. [chuckles]
832
00:43:18,446 --> 00:43:19,781
No.
833
00:43:21,615 --> 00:43:22,949
I'm pregnant.
834
00:43:23,032 --> 00:43:24,243
[smacks lips]
835
00:43:25,162 --> 00:43:29,208
- That is a twist I was not expecting.
- [laughs]
836
00:43:30,394 --> 00:43:32,479
I realized when... when we was...
837
00:43:32,563 --> 00:43:34,690
I was looking down at
you, and then I saw,
838
00:43:34,773 --> 00:43:37,193
"Oh! Oh, my nipples are, like,
839
00:43:37,276 --> 00:43:40,589
two, three shades darker
than they normally are."
840
00:43:41,113 --> 00:43:43,449
And, that's, like, a thing
for the Morello women
841
00:43:43,532 --> 00:43:45,159
when we've got the bun in the oven.
842
00:43:46,512 --> 00:43:47,721
[Lorna chuckles]
843
00:43:50,168 --> 00:43:51,504
That's great. Uh...
844
00:43:51,998 --> 00:43:55,711
- Did you take a pregnancy test?
- Nope. No.
845
00:43:55,958 --> 00:43:58,753
No, I don't need a test. I... I know.
846
00:43:59,673 --> 00:44:01,883
And that is why I've been so horny.
847
00:44:02,209 --> 00:44:03,461
Ah!
848
00:44:05,762 --> 00:44:07,598
[laughs] Oh, fuck!
849
00:44:07,681 --> 00:44:10,684
Why are you laughing? No. No, no, no.
I'm... I'm...
850
00:44:10,767 --> 00:44:13,354
This is not funny. I'm serious.
851
00:44:13,437 --> 00:44:16,232
Oh, yes. I know you're serious.
I know, baby.
852
00:44:16,315 --> 00:44:19,901
And that is the problem. Because
you are also bat-shit crazy.
853
00:44:21,653 --> 00:44:22,988
[laughing]
854
00:44:30,787 --> 00:44:33,415
I didn't mean to lead you on, honey.
855
00:44:33,499 --> 00:44:34,958
It's the hormones.
856
00:44:35,041 --> 00:44:37,669
The hormones, they made
me do it with you.
857
00:44:41,673 --> 00:44:44,426
I love you so much, Lorna.
858
00:44:46,052 --> 00:44:47,304
But, you know...
859
00:44:49,057 --> 00:44:52,601
you can't just, like, uh, keep
doing whatever the fuck you want
860
00:44:52,684 --> 00:44:54,520
and then thinking it's gonna be okay.
861
00:44:56,062 --> 00:44:58,440
[stutters] And the days of this, uh...
862
00:44:58,524 --> 00:45:01,777
crazy being quirky and cute...
863
00:45:01,860 --> 00:45:04,446
it's past. It's sad, you know?
864
00:45:04,530 --> 00:45:06,740
I mean, you need help,
and I can't help you,
865
00:45:06,823 --> 00:45:08,159
'cause I need to help myself.
866
00:45:08,242 --> 00:45:11,495
Or maybe, uh, what if you go see
the prison therapist, right?
867
00:45:11,578 --> 00:45:13,038
See what she has to say about it.
868
00:45:13,121 --> 00:45:14,998
I'm pretty sure she's gonna tell me...
869
00:45:15,081 --> 00:45:17,918
[stammering] She's gonna
call me a dumbass
870
00:45:18,001 --> 00:45:20,045
sucker crazy person for
letting myself do this again.
871
00:45:20,128 --> 00:45:21,755
And then tell me
872
00:45:21,838 --> 00:45:26,427
to never, ever, ever
do this again, right?
873
00:45:26,935 --> 00:45:29,903
And this time, I'm
gonna listen to her...
874
00:45:29,942 --> 00:45:32,236
'cause she's the expert, right?
875
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:33,321
[scoffs]
876
00:45:38,242 --> 00:45:40,412
It's too late. [sniffles]
877
00:45:40,495 --> 00:45:42,246
I drank, like, eight bottles, okay.
878
00:45:42,330 --> 00:45:45,500
I'm sorry for being such a fuckup.
879
00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:47,752
[sniffles] I love you guys so much.
880
00:45:50,061 --> 00:45:51,688
Dye is nontoxic.
881
00:45:52,549 --> 00:45:53,591
What?
882
00:45:53,675 --> 00:45:56,440
I mean, you'll probably have
bad squirts for a couple days.
883
00:45:56,523 --> 00:45:59,860
And I have some of those wet nappies
in the bathroom, if you need them.
884
00:46:00,014 --> 00:46:01,516
[sighs] Oh, man.
885
00:46:02,446 --> 00:46:04,030
I can't even kill myself right.
886
00:46:04,185 --> 00:46:07,397
Honey, your dad and me...
887
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,649
we think you need some real help.
888
00:46:10,567 --> 00:46:12,652
You think so? [sighs]
889
00:46:12,735 --> 00:46:15,655
Yeah! I do. Of course I fucking do!
890
00:46:15,738 --> 00:46:18,700
All right, I got myself arrested.
891
00:46:18,783 --> 00:46:21,578
I have been begging to die.
892
00:46:22,189 --> 00:46:24,066
And all you guys want to say is,
893
00:46:24,205 --> 00:46:26,958
"Things will be fine,"
and, "Life's complicated."
894
00:46:27,009 --> 00:46:28,177
Finally!
895
00:46:28,668 --> 00:46:31,170
Make sure they lock me up
somewhere for a very long time.
896
00:46:31,253 --> 00:46:32,505
Please!
897
00:46:47,019 --> 00:46:48,355
This is the spot?
898
00:46:48,438 --> 00:46:50,147
What the hell is going on here?
899
00:46:50,231 --> 00:46:51,441
Beats us.
900
00:46:56,195 --> 00:46:59,699
Well, don't dawdle out there.
Come in, come in.
901
00:47:18,593 --> 00:47:20,762
You did this all yourself?
902
00:47:21,118 --> 00:47:22,286
Sure did.
903
00:47:22,568 --> 00:47:25,111
Wow. So you're like one
of those mole people
904
00:47:25,136 --> 00:47:28,056
that they do special news reports
and horror movies about?
905
00:47:28,853 --> 00:47:30,730
Yeah, we prefer "survivalist."
906
00:47:30,813 --> 00:47:32,148
Don't insult the woman.
907
00:47:33,009 --> 00:47:35,261
This is, uh, really great, Frieda.
908
00:47:35,846 --> 00:47:37,306
Thanks for showing us.
909
00:47:37,594 --> 00:47:39,891
But I probably should be getting
back upstairs and, uh...
910
00:47:39,975 --> 00:47:41,935
No. We're gonna stay here.
911
00:47:42,096 --> 00:47:43,264
All of us.
912
00:47:43,770 --> 00:47:45,939
I guess this is how it ends.
913
00:47:46,022 --> 00:47:49,776
Well, this is your chance to retire
from all that nonsense out there.
914
00:47:50,096 --> 00:47:52,863
Ain't you tired of
dealing with numbskulls?
915
00:47:53,146 --> 00:47:55,156
Fighting for food?
916
00:47:55,240 --> 00:48:00,203
Trying to find a minute of quiet
without someone squawking in your ear?
917
00:48:01,121 --> 00:48:03,707
Don't you feel taken for granted?
918
00:48:05,813 --> 00:48:08,774
I got enough supplies
down here for all of us.
919
00:48:10,670 --> 00:48:13,632
It's, maybe, a little cramped?
920
00:48:14,051 --> 00:48:15,052
Huh.
921
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:17,220
"Thank you, Frieda."
922
00:48:17,303 --> 00:48:20,724
"Gee, this is awful
nice of you, Frieda."
923
00:48:29,525 --> 00:48:31,902
Come on. You don't need to be scared.
924
00:48:31,985 --> 00:48:33,529
I bet that's what they tell the cows
925
00:48:33,612 --> 00:48:35,614
right before they send
them down the chute.
926
00:48:52,506 --> 00:48:53,757
This could work.
927
00:48:58,011 --> 00:49:00,764
This is amazing, Frieda!
928
00:49:01,713 --> 00:49:03,298
I got dibs on shuffleboard.
929
00:49:03,919 --> 00:49:05,755
Does this thing have Frogger?
930
00:49:07,604 --> 00:49:08,939
[chuckles]
931
00:49:10,350 --> 00:49:12,352
Watch out for the cords there.
932
00:49:18,323 --> 00:49:19,575
[indistinct chatter]
933
00:49:20,492 --> 00:49:21,910
What the hell were you thinking?
934
00:49:22,237 --> 00:49:23,864
Aren't you tired of
asking me that question?
935
00:49:23,948 --> 00:49:25,908
'Cause I sure as shit am
tired of answering it.
936
00:49:25,932 --> 00:49:27,559
Yeah. Well, they're gonna crucify you.
937
00:49:27,643 --> 00:49:30,937
- So? It'll only take a few hours.
- What?
938
00:49:32,022 --> 00:49:35,526
What? This... this is
all gonna be over soon.
939
00:49:35,609 --> 00:49:37,235
Okay, let 'em throw me in the Poo.
940
00:49:37,318 --> 00:49:39,320
It's all gonna go back to
the way it was, anyhow.
941
00:49:39,356 --> 00:49:40,566
None of this is for long.
942
00:49:42,824 --> 00:49:44,618
You know, you really freak
me out when you're smart.
943
00:49:44,701 --> 00:49:46,327
Yeah, well, you and me, both, okay?
944
00:49:46,411 --> 00:49:50,165
[chuckles] I just thank Jesus that
my brain wires are connecting today.
945
00:49:53,941 --> 00:49:55,651
- [clears throat]
- Oh.
946
00:49:55,837 --> 00:49:56,922
We have our verdict.
947
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,640
We discussed your case...
948
00:50:06,699 --> 00:50:09,618
came up with something
that's almost unanimous.
949
00:50:09,702 --> 00:50:10,995
[Leanne scoffs]
950
00:50:11,133 --> 00:50:13,595
So, Tiffany Doggett...
951
00:50:14,195 --> 00:50:16,905
for crimes against our
community, we assign you...
952
00:50:18,205 --> 00:50:19,874
- community service.
- Yes.
953
00:50:20,503 --> 00:50:23,860
Next step is we'll sit down,
talk about your skills,
954
00:50:23,926 --> 00:50:26,763
and figure out how you can best
contribute to your community.
955
00:50:28,517 --> 00:50:31,270
We'll just be people, talking.
956
00:50:31,794 --> 00:50:33,337
- Like you said.
- Bullshit.
957
00:50:33,843 --> 00:50:38,140
We don't all agree, but so long as
we're all in here doing this thing,
958
00:50:38,165 --> 00:50:42,483
we think that our justice system
should focus on rehabilitation. Yeah?
959
00:50:42,546 --> 00:50:45,006
One crime should not define a person.
960
00:50:45,268 --> 00:50:47,843
Thank you. Yeah. I'm gonna
make you guys so proud.
961
00:50:47,874 --> 00:50:48,917
- You'll see.
- [chuckles]
962
00:50:49,510 --> 00:50:51,671
Poo! Poo! Poo!
963
00:50:51,793 --> 00:50:53,462
Does she have a reset button?
964
00:50:57,727 --> 00:50:59,688
It's like watching the
most predictable movie.
965
00:51:00,772 --> 00:51:02,857
At least I'm doing something.
966
00:51:03,073 --> 00:51:05,742
Plus, I'm probably gonna get
pretty toned in the process.
967
00:51:06,778 --> 00:51:09,781
Goodbye, honey! Have a good day at work!
You're a ridiculous human!
968
00:51:09,864 --> 00:51:12,617
Man, these bitches are
fucking us over so hard.
969
00:51:12,972 --> 00:51:16,225
I know, right? What am I gonna do when
I have a snack attack or my period?
970
00:51:16,283 --> 00:51:20,120
I can respect the moral code, but
being that blindly committed...
971
00:51:21,082 --> 00:51:22,583
that's when shit gets dangerous.
972
00:51:24,483 --> 00:51:25,997
[man over PA] Okay, 10 minutes.
973
00:51:26,022 --> 00:51:27,482
[Kristen] India was my favorite section
974
00:51:27,615 --> 00:51:29,743
because it kind of reminded me
of being in here, you know,
975
00:51:30,030 --> 00:51:31,615
being forced to deprive
yourself and stuff.
976
00:51:31,698 --> 00:51:34,042
Yeah. No, it was like Weight Watchers,
977
00:51:34,112 --> 00:51:36,322
but with, like, more cows
and less point counting.
978
00:51:36,445 --> 00:51:39,034
Prison's like free Weight Watchers.
I've lost, like, at least five pounds.
979
00:51:39,059 --> 00:51:41,645
[Ashley] Like I haven't noticed.
Those khakis are falling off of you.
980
00:51:41,968 --> 00:51:42,969
[Kristen] Thank you.
981
00:51:42,994 --> 00:51:45,830
- [Ashley] But now I'm hungry.
- [chuckles] Oh, my God, I'm starving.
982
00:51:46,216 --> 00:51:48,634
- Commissary ice cream?
- Fuck to the yes.
983
00:51:48,718 --> 00:51:50,720
[man over PA] Be all
notified of gate time.
984
00:51:51,684 --> 00:51:55,646
[Poussey] "Amanda, I will not
stop until my ass is so small"
985
00:51:55,684 --> 00:51:57,226
it disappears entirely.
986
00:51:57,310 --> 00:52:00,689
[gasps] You heard about this new diet
where you eat cookies and ice cream,
987
00:52:00,772 --> 00:52:02,231
and you still lose weight?
988
00:52:02,315 --> 00:52:04,067
"Ooh! It's called bulimia."
989
00:52:04,150 --> 00:52:05,652
- [chuckles]
- "And, oh!"
990
00:52:05,735 --> 00:52:08,071
I love it so much. It's a miracle."
991
00:52:09,781 --> 00:52:13,201
"Oh, Mackenzie, I have always
been jealous of your willpower."
992
00:52:13,284 --> 00:52:14,994
I'm like a house ever since Mark
993
00:52:15,078 --> 00:52:18,615
invested in that new modern
American bistro up the street.
994
00:52:18,811 --> 00:52:21,115
You would die for their artisanal sodas.
995
00:52:21,163 --> 00:52:25,167
"Peach, lavender, rose petal.
Yes, please!"
996
00:52:26,210 --> 00:52:27,461
'Sup, Amanda?
997
00:52:27,961 --> 00:52:29,077
Mackenzie.
998
00:52:29,379 --> 00:52:32,320
- When'd you get in?
- [sighs] Yesterday.
999
00:52:32,429 --> 00:52:36,016
Well, you've got good taste in
books, so you're all right with me.
1000
00:52:38,111 --> 00:52:40,321
- Taystee.
- Poussey.
1001
00:52:40,536 --> 00:52:44,374
[chuckles] Your mama did
not name you Pussy.
1002
00:52:44,536 --> 00:52:46,221
Yo. For real?
1003
00:52:46,246 --> 00:52:49,625
I mean, you all new and talking
shit with a name like Taystee?
1004
00:52:49,917 --> 00:52:52,962
That's fair. My bad. [chuckles]
1005
00:52:53,578 --> 00:52:55,872
Look, you let me know if you
need anything in here, okay?
1006
00:52:56,090 --> 00:52:59,384
Okay. I will. Thanks.
1007
00:52:59,436 --> 00:53:02,272
And, um, you can take Alice for now.
1008
00:53:02,297 --> 00:53:04,091
'Cause she's good at
keepin' folks company.
1009
00:53:04,375 --> 00:53:05,418
She's my favorite.
1010
00:53:05,611 --> 00:53:07,155
So I'm gonna need that
shit back eventually.
1011
00:53:08,345 --> 00:53:09,555
Deal.
1012
00:53:11,313 --> 00:53:12,522
Yeah.
1013
00:53:14,483 --> 00:53:16,401
- [both snap fingers]
- Welcome to prison. [chuckles]
1014
00:53:16,485 --> 00:53:17,694
[sighs]
1015
00:53:19,154 --> 00:53:20,572
[officer] Right, hold on.
They're coming back.
1016
00:53:20,655 --> 00:53:22,574
- [Taystee] Get this on tape, huh!
- Y'all wanna bribe?
1017
00:53:22,657 --> 00:53:24,409
[Taystee] Get this on tape!
1018
00:53:24,493 --> 00:53:25,995
[Black Cindy] Anybody want some chips?
1019
00:53:27,955 --> 00:53:29,748
I think that's all of 'em.
1020
00:53:29,831 --> 00:53:31,375
Only minus the snacks in bellies.
1021
00:53:31,458 --> 00:53:33,002
And tampons in vaginas.
1022
00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:35,004
- Okay. We're good to go.
- [door opens]
1023
00:53:35,029 --> 00:53:36,488
[panting] Yo, what the hell!
1024
00:53:37,756 --> 00:53:39,091
We burning the bribe.
1025
00:53:39,174 --> 00:53:42,094
Oh, fuck, yeah. Yo, that's
what I'm talking about, T.
1026
00:53:43,269 --> 00:53:44,270
Uh-huh.
1027
00:53:46,015 --> 00:53:47,224
Call her.
1028
00:53:49,478 --> 00:53:52,439
Hi, Nita. Welcome to the party.
1029
00:53:53,822 --> 00:53:55,157
What are you doing?
1030
00:53:55,187 --> 00:53:56,939
Flaming Cheetos, y'all!
1031
00:53:57,022 --> 00:53:59,066
Hey, T, tell this woman what we want.
1032
00:53:59,149 --> 00:54:01,977
We want to be motherfuckin'
taken serious!
1033
00:54:02,008 --> 00:54:03,211
- Hell, yeah!
- That's right!
1034
00:54:03,236 --> 00:54:04,737
Bye, Nita!
1035
00:54:04,790 --> 00:54:06,375
Bye, girl! Bye!
1036
00:54:07,483 --> 00:54:09,068
- [officer] All right. Back up. Back up!
- [all exclaim]
1037
00:54:09,152 --> 00:54:11,612
Whoa! Shit!
1038
00:54:12,078 --> 00:54:13,997
Burn, bitch, burn!
1039
00:54:14,135 --> 00:54:16,346
Fuck you, Piscatella! Yeah!
1040
00:54:16,422 --> 00:54:17,966
What you got to say now?
1041
00:54:32,508 --> 00:54:34,928
[rock song playing]
1042
00:54:35,555 --> 00:54:40,555
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