Original subtitles

Get it?

I know it's tough but you're gonna have to bear it.

You know, these sinks are really beautiful.

They're very rare, you don't find them any more.

I think it's these sinks that let you stay together.

Don't you think?

What's that? What's all this?

Mad? Mad?

Mad? Mad?

I think I'm happy with you.

Again!

Do it again!

Again!

I'm coming! I'm ready.

Shall we leave together?

Bastard!

He's a git! Not even goodbye!

- Tom! - Jeanne!

What are you doing there? I'm coming! I'll fly!

- Wait! I've got to talk to you. - Why didn't you speak on the phone?

What's up?

- You must find someone else. - For what?

- For your film. - Why?

Because you're taking advantage of me.

Because you make me do things I've never done.

Because you're taking up my time.

You make me do whatever you want.

The film is over!

I'm tired of being raped!

Come in!

You wanted to talk to me. Go on, then.

You know I haven't come to cry with you?

Do you mind if I carry on working?

It helps me a lot after what has happened.

Identical.

Rosa wanted them identical.

Our bathrobes?

You can't tell me anything I don't already know?

Same colour, same pattern.

Yes, yes, yes.

You're meticulous.

I've always wondered why you save newspaper clippings.

Is it work? Or a hobby?

Hobby? I don't like that word.

Let's say it's some extra cash. I do it for an agency.

Oh, so it's serious.

It's a job that makes you read?

Very educational.

Be honest.

You didn't know we had the same bathrobes.

Marcello.

We've got a lot of things in common.

Marcello, I know everything.

No, Rosa often talked to me about you.

I don't think there are many marriages like that.

It's strange.

I'm thirsty.

- Would you like a shot of bourbon? - Hold on.

Here's the bourbon.

Was that a present from Rosa, too?

I don't really like bourbon,

but Rosa wanted me to keep a bottle here in my room.

I was asking myself this question.

If, with these little things,

unimportant things,

we could go back over things, and understand together.

Together?

It's almost a year that Rosa and l...

Not passionately, but regularly...

I thought I knew her as much as you can know...

- Your mistress. - For example,

a while ago, something happened that I still don't understand.

Do you see there, on the wall?

She had climbed onto the bed

and she was trying to tear at the walls with her hands.

I stopped her because she was breaking her nails.

She had a strange... violence about her.

I'd never seen her like that.

Our room is painted white.

Rosa wanted it to be different from the other rooms in the hotel.

To make it look like...

a more normal home.

But...

it had to be changed here, too.

I think she started with the wall.

A cold sore. I don't know. Shit.

You're lucky?

You were... You must have been very handsome...

..20 years ago.

Not as much as you.

You've still got all your hair.

My hair... I have to have it trimmed often.

And wash it. I wash it nearly every day.

Don't you have massages?

Yes, I do.

You're in good shape.

What do you do for... your stomach?

That's my problem.

For that... I have a secret.

Tell me!

Are you leaving us? I saw your suitcase was packed.

Ah... America.

Why was she unfaithful to you?

You can't believe that Rosa...

killed herself.

It's hard for me to...

believe, too.

This is my secret!

Thirty times every morning.

Really, Marcello,

I wonder what she ever saw in you.

Are you in?

Is anyone here?

Hi, monster.

Is something wrong?

- There's butter in the kitchen. - So you're here?

- Why didn't you answer? - Go get the butter.

I have to hurry. I have a cab waiting.

Go get the butter.

It makes me crazy!

That you're so damned sure that I'm coming back here.

Do you really think

that an American sitting on the floor in an empty flat

eating cheese and drinking water is interesting?

There's something under here. Can you hear it?

It's hollow.

Can you hear it?

- It's hollow. - That's a hiding place.

- Don't open it! - Why not?

I don't know. Don't open it.

What about that? Can I open that?

Wait a minute.

Maybe there's jewels in it.

Maybe there's gold.

- Are you afraid? - No.

No?

You're always afraid.

No, but... maybe there is some family secrets inside.

Family secrets?

I'll tell you about family secrets.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna tell you about the family.

That holy institution

meant to breed virtue in savages.

I want you to repeat it after me.

No and no!

- No! - Repeat it.

Say, "Holy family."

Come on, say it.

Go on. Holy family.

Church of good citizens.

Church...

- Good citizens. - Good citizens...

Say it. Say it!

The children are tortured until they tell their first lie.

The children...

are tortured...

Where the will is broken

by repression.

Where the will... broken... repression.

Where freedom...

Free... Freedom!

..is assassinated.

Freedom is assassinated by egotism.

Family...

Family...

You...

You...

You... You f...

You...

fucking...

fucking... family.

You fucking...

family!

Oh, God... Jesus.

Oh, you...

Oh...

Shit!

Hey, you!

Yes, you!

I've got a surprise for you.

- What? - I've got a surprise for you!

That's good.

I like surprises.

What is it?

Music. But I don't know how to work it.

Do you enjoy that?

Do you know why I sent the others away?

Because you're angry, or you want to be alone with me?

And why do I want to be alone with you?

You have something really serious to tell me.

I have something really very serious to tell you.

- Is it happy or sad? - It's a secret.

So it's happy. What sort of secret?

- A secret... - Speak up! I can't hear anything.

- ..between a man and a woman. - Is it dirty or is it about love?

About love. But that's not all.

A secret about love, but which isn't love.

What is it?!

That in a week I'm marrying you.

- What? - I'm marrying you.

- What?! - I'm marrying you!

- You're marrying me? - Yes!

- We're getting married? - Yes.

- No? - Yes.

- No! - Yes.

- Yes? - Yes.

- No. - Yes.

- Yes? - No.

- Are we getting married or not? - I don't know.

- So, yes, then? - Yes!

- No! - Yes!

- Yes. - No.

Yes or no?

Of course, I'll send everything to the country.

What do you think, Jeanne?

Olympia will be happy.

I went there yesterday with Tom.

She's preparing a family museum.

Of course, I'm not sending the boots. I'm keeping them with me.

I get strange shivers when I touch them.

All these military things never age.

When I was little, it seemed really heavy

when Papa taught me how to shoot.

I'm keeping that here.

In a respectable household, it's useful to have a weapon.

You don't even know how to use it.

The important thing is to have one. It makes an impression.

You really kept everything of Papa's.

Who's that? His orderly?

- A fine example of a Berber. - Oh.

A strong race. I tried to employ them as servants, but it was disastrous.

I'm glad I decided to send everything to the country.

All his things were piling up and piling up.

Don't worry. You'll soon have all the space you want.

What does that mean?

Nothing.

Madame, the colonel's lady,

I announce...

What? What?

On this solemn day...

What? What solemn day?

I'm getting married in a week!

- What did you say? - To Tom! In a week!

- Pardon? - Tom!

- In a week! - What are you doing in a week?

Five... two!

Move into shot! We're shooting!

So,... how do you see marriage?

- Marriage? - Yes.

I see it everywhere. All the time.

What do you mean, everywhere?

- On walls. On buildings. - Walls and buildings?

Yes, on advertising hoardings. What are they selling?

Cars. Tinned meat. Cigarettes.

No. They're all about young couples.

Before marriage, no children.

Then the same couple, married with children.

In short, marriage.

The perfect, ideal, successful marriage.

It's no longer the preserve of the Church.

The husband was burdened with responsibilities and the wife nagged.

Now, weddings in advertising smile!

They smile. On posters.

On posters, of course. But why not take poster marriage seriously?

Marriage... Pop marriage!

Pop? That's the formula.

For pop youth, pop marriage!

But... what if the pop marriage doesn't work?

Then you have to fix it like you would a car.

The spouses are two workers in overalls

bending over an engine to fix it.

And in case of adultery what happens to the pop marriage?

In that case, there are three or four workers.

What about love?

Is love pop?

No. That's not. Love isn't pop.

Love isn't pop. So what is it?

The workers retire to a secret flat,

take off their overalls and become men and women again

and make love.

You're wonderful.

It's the dress that makes the bride.

You're better than Rita Hayworth.

Better than Joan Crawford!

Better than Kim Novak!

Better than Lauren Bacall!

Better than Ava Gardner

when she was Mickey Rooney's lover!

What are you doing? Stop! Stop, but keep filming!

Why aren't you filming in the rain? You're crazy!

- Where's Jeanne? - She must have run off.

When? ln the rain?

Jeanne!

Jeanne! Jeanne!

Jeanne!

Please forgive me!

Forgive me!

I wanted to leave you and I couldn't.

I wanted to leave you and I couldn't.

I can't.

I can't leave you, do you understand?

Do you still want me?

Bang!

Voil�!

Oh, there once was a man

And he had an old sow

Ow! Hi-diddle-dow...

You're wet.

A rat.

Only a rat.

There are more rats in Paris than people.

Yum, yum, yum.

- I want to go! - Wait, wait!

Don't you want a bite first? You don't want to run and eat.

This is the end!

This is the end, but I like to start with the head. That's the best part.

Are you sure you won't have any?

OK.

- What's the matter? You don't dig rat? - I wanna go!

I can't make love in this bed any more. I can't.

It's disgusting! Nauseating!

Well, we'll fuck on the radiator

or standing on the mantel.

I gotta get some mayonnaise for this. It really is good with mayonnaise.

I'll save the asshole for you.

Rat's asshole with mayonnaise!

I want to get out of here. I want to go.

I can't stand it here any more.

Yes. I'm going.

I'm not coming back...

ever.

Quo vadis, baby?

I forgot to tell you something.

I fell in love with somebody.

Oh, isn't that wonderful?

You know, you're going to have to get out of these wet duds.

I'm going to make love with him!

Well,

first you have to take a hot bath.

Cos if you don't, you're gonna get pneumonia, right?

Huh?

And then you know what happens?

You get pneumonia, then you know what happens?

You die.

And then, you know what happens when you die?

I get to fuck the dead rat.

I'm in love.

You're in love? How delightful.

I'm in love!

I'm in love, you understand?

I'm in love, I'm in love! Oh!

I'm in love!

You know, you're old!

- You're getting fat. - Fat, is it? How unkind.

Half of your hair is out

and the other half is almost white.

In ten years, you'll be playing soccer with your tits.

What do you think of that? You know what I'm gonna be doing?

You will be on a... wheelchair!

Well, maybe.

But, you know...

I'll be smirking and giggling all the way to eternity.

How poetic.

But please, before you go, wash my feet.

OK.

Noblesse oblige.

You know, he and l, we make love.

Oh, really? That's wonderful.

- Is he a good fucker? - Magnificent.

You know, you're a jerk.

Cos the best fucking you're gonna get is right here in this apartment.

Stand up.

He is full of mysteries.

Give me the soap.

Listen, you dumb dodo.

All the mysteries that you're ever gonna know in life are right here.

He is like everybody but... at the same time he's different.

You mean, like everybody.

Yeah, but... even he fright me.

Even he frightens me.

What is he, your local pimp?

He could be. He looks it.

You know why I'm in love with him?

I can't wait.

Because he know. He know how to make me fall in love with him.

You want this man you love to protect and take care of you.

Yeah.

You want this golden, shining, powerful warrior

to build a fortress where you can hide in.

So you don't have to ever... have...

You don't ever have to be afraid.

You don't have to feel lonely or empty.

- That's what you want, isn't it? - Yes.

- Well, you'll never find it. - But I find this man.

Then it won't be long until he'll want you to build a fortress for him

out of your tits and your cunt and your hair

and your smile and the way you smell.

And... and some place where he can feel comfortable and secure enough

so that he can worship in front of the altar of his own prick.

- But I find this man! - No, you're alone.

You're all alone.

You won't be free of that feeling of being alone

until you look death right in the face.

I mean, that sounds like bullshit,

some romantic crap,

until you go right up into the ass of death.

Right up in his ass... till you find the womb of fear.

And then,... maybe...

Maybe then, you'll be able to find him.

But I find this man.

He's you! You are that man!

Get me the scissors.

- What? - Get me the fingernail scissors.

No. I want you to cut

the fingernails on your right hand, these two.

That's it.

I want you to put your fingers up my ass.

What?

Put your fingers up my ass, are you deaf?

Go on.

I'm gonna get a pig...

and I'm... I'm gonna have the pig fuck you.

I want the pig to vomit in your face

and I want you to swallow the vomit.

Are you gonna do that for me?

- Yeah. - Huh?

Yeah!

I want the pig to die while...

while you're fucking him.

Then you'll have to go behind him.

I want you to smell the dying farts of the pig.

Are you gonna do all of that for me?

Yes, and more than that!

And worse!

And worse than before.

You look ridiculous in that make-up.

Like the caricature of a whore.

A little touch of Mommy in the night.

Fake Ophelia drowned in the bathtub.

I wish you could see yourself. You'd really laugh.

You're your mother's masterpiece.

Christ!

There are too many fucking flowers in this place. I can't breathe.

You know on the top of the closet?

The cardboard box, I found all your...

I found all your little goodies.

Pens, keychains,

foreign money, French ticklers, the whole shot.

Even a clergyman's collar.

I didn't know you collected all those little knick-knacks left behind.

Even if the husband lives

200 fucking years,

he's never going to be able to discover his wife's real nature.

I mean, l...

I might be able to comprehend the universe,

but...

I'll never discover the truth about you. Never.

I mean, who the hell were you?

Remember that day,

the first day I was there?

I knew that I couldn't get into your pants unless I said...

What did I say?

Oh, yeah.

"May I have my bill, please? I have to leave."

Remember?

Last night...

I ripped off the lights on your mother.

And the whole joint went bananas.

All your... guests...

as you used to call them...

Well, I guess that includes me, doesn't it?

It does include me, doesn't it?

For five years, I was more a guest in this fucking flophouse than a husband.

With privileges, of course.

And then, to help me understand you,

you let me inherit Marcel.

The husband's double, whose room was the double of ours.

And you know what?

I didn't even have the guts to ask him.

Didn't have the guts to ask him if the same numbers you and I did

were the same numbers you did with him.

Our marriage was nothing more than a foxhole for you.

And all it took for you to get out was a 35-cent razor and a tub full of water.

You cheap, goddamn, fucking, godforsaken whore.

I hope you rot in hell.

You're worse than the dirtiest street pig anybody could find, and you know why?

You know why? Because you lied.

You lied to me and I trusted you. You lied.

You knew you were lying!

Go on, tell me you didn't lie.

Haven't you got anything to say about that?

You can think up something, can't you?

Go on, tell me something! Smile, you cunt!

Go on, tell me... tell me something sweet.

Smile at me and say I just misunderstood.

Go on, tell me.

You pig-fucker!

You goddamn, fucking, pig-fucking liar.

Rosa,

I'm sorry...

I just can't...

I can't stand it...

to see these goddamn things on your face.

You never wore make-up.

This fucking shit. I'm gonna take this off your mouth.

This lipstick...

Rosa... Oh, God!

I'm sorry.

I don't know why you did it.

I'd do it too, if I knew how.

I just don't know how.

I have to... I have to find a way.

Is anyone there?

What?

There was a noise in there!

All right, I'm...

I'm coming.

I have to go.

I have to go, sweetheart, baby. Somebody's calling me.

Well? ls anyone there?

Yeah. I'm coming.

Here he is. Hurry up!

Wake up!

- Open up! Open up! - It's four in the morning.

I need room four for a while.

Half an hour? Yes, that'll do.

Yes, half an hour.

- We're full. - That's not true.

When you're full, you put a sign outside.

I know the hotel.

I'm sick of arguing out on the street.

Call the owner.

What are you waiting for? The owner has never made a fuss.

Rosa and I are old friends.

Open up.

Don't make any trouble or I'll tell your boss.

Come in, it's all sorted...

You've won. He's taken off.

I'm very sorry.

Hurry up! He can't be far away.

Make him come back. Tell him he can't just walk off.

Oh,... please don't tell her you found me.

I don't fancy it any more. Did you see her face?

Once, my wife satisfied me.

But now she's got a skin disease. It's like snakeskin.

- Put yourself in my place. - Come. Come with me.

But... Let go of me!

You're crazy!

Let go of me! Let go!

Get the fuck out of here!

Faggot!

No!

Try and remember! The man from the fourth floor.

He moved in a few days ago.

I told you, I don't know anyone.

They come and go. The man on the fourth, the woman on the first.

What do I know?

Where did they take the furniture to? It's empty.

Where do you send his mail? Give me his address.

I don't have it.

I don't know these people.

- Not even his name? - Nothing!

Mam'zelle!

I've found a flat for us.

1, rue Jules Verne.

Yes. In Passy.

Come quickly! You'll come now?

Do you know where it is?

I'll wait for you. Come over.

Come in, it's open.

Do you like our flat?

It's very light.

There's a tiny room, too. It's too small for a double bed.

It would be fine for a child.

Fidel. That's a nice name for a boy.

Fidel, as in Castro.

But I'd like a girl, too.

Rosa. As in Rosa Luxemburg.

Less famous, but I like it.

You know,

I wanted to film you every day.

In the morning, when you wake up,

in the evening, when you sleep.

When you first smile,

and I didn't film any of that.

Here.

Today is the last day of shooting.

The film is finished.

I don't like things that finish, things that end.

You have to start something else right away.

This flat is huge!

- Where are you? - I'm here!

- It's too big! We'll get lost! - Stop it! Don't start!

- How did you find this flat? - By chance.

- We'll change everything! - Everything!

We'll change chance to destiny.

Go on, Jeanne. Take off!

Fly away, you're in heaven!

You're soaring, you're in heaven!

Come down, take a nose dive, come down!

Make three turns, come down.

Jeanne, what's happening? There's an air pocket.

What's happening?

The patches of turbulence are over.

We can't play like children any more, Jeanne.

- We're adults. - Adults? That's awful!

Yes. It's awful.

What do adults do?

I don't know.

We'll have to invent the gestures and the words.

For example, adults...

But there's one thing I do know.

Adults are calm, serious,

Iogical, measured, level-headed.

Yes.

- And... they face up to problems. - Yes, yes. Yes, yes.

You see, Jeanne, this flat won't work for us.

This flat, it won't work for us, Jeanne.

- Where are you going? - To look for a flat.

What kind of flat?

A flat we can live in.

We can live here.

It's squalid. It smells. It makes me sick.

- Are you coming with me? - No, no.

I've got to close the windows and return the key. There's a lot to do.

OK.

- Bye. - Bye.

It's me again.

It's over. It's over.

It's over, then it begins again.

What begins again? I don't understand anything any more.

There's nothing to understand. We left the apartment.

Now we begin again with love and all the rest of it.

- The rest? - Yeah, listen.

I'm 45.

I'm a widower. I've got a little hotel, a kind of a dump.

But it's not completely a flophouse.

And... I used to live on my luck, and I got married.

My wife killed herself.

But you know, what the hell.

I'm... no prize.

I picked up a nail when I was in Cuba in 1948

and now I got a prostate like an Idaho potato.

But I'm still a good stick man, even if l can't have any children.

Let's see.

I don't have any stomping grounds. I don't have any friends.

I suppose if I hadn't met you,

I'd probably settle for a hard chair and a hemorrhoid.

Anyway, to make a long, dull story even duller,

I come from a time when a guy like me would drop into a joint like this

and pick up a young chick like you... and call her a bimbo.

I'm awfully sorry to intrude

but I was so struck with your beauty

that I thought I could offer you a glass of champagne.

Is this seat taken?

- No. - May l?

If you'd like to.

Garcon!

You know, the tango is a rite.

Do you understand "rite"?

And you must watch the legs of the dancers.

Oh, no!

You haven't drunk your champagne because it was warm.

And then I ordered you a Scotch and you haven't drunk your Scotch.

Come on. Just a sip for Daddy.

Now, if you love me, you'll drink all of it.

OK, I love you.

Bravo!

Tell me about your wife.

Let's talk about us.

OK.

But this place is so pitiful.

Yes, but I'm here, aren't l?

Monsieur Maitre d'H�tel.

That's rather nasty.

Anyway, you dummy, I love you.

And I want to live with you.

In your flophouse?

In my flophouse. What the hell does that mean?

What the hell difference does it make

if I have a flophouse or a hotel or a castle?

I love you. What the fuck does it matter?!

The jury has chosen

the following ten best couples:

No.3!

7!

8,... 9,

11,... 12,

13,... 14,

15... and 19!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, good luck for the last tango!

Give me some more whisky.

Oh, I thought you weren't drinking.

But I'm thirsty now and I want some more drink.

All right. I think that's a good idea.

Wait a minute.

Because you're really beautiful. Wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to spill my drink.

Let's have a toast

to our life in the hotel.

No! Fuck all that! Come on.

Hey, listen.

Let's drink a toast to our life in the country. Huh?

You're a nature lover? You didn't tell me.

Oh, for Chr... I'm a nature boy.

Can't you see me with the cows and the chickenshit all over me?

Oh, yeah.

- To the house of the cows. - Cows.

I will be your cow, too.

And listen...

I get to milk you twice a day.

- How about that? - I hate the country.

- You hate the country? - I hate it!

I prefer to go to the hotel.

- Come on, let's go... - No. Let's dance.

Come on. Don't you wanna dance?

We can start again.

That's the limit! What are you doing?

You'll have to leave, sir.

Madame! 'Tis ever love.

Go to the circus if you want to see love!

Go on! Get out of here!

You'll have to leave.

Kiss me, sweetheart!

Farewell, you sweet peach blossom.

I could dance for ever. Oh, my hemorrhoid!

Beauty of mine, sit before me.

Let me peruse you and remember you always like this.

Garcon! Champagne!

If music be the food of love, play on.

What's the matter with you?

It's finished.

What's the matter with you?

- It's finished! - What's finished?

We're never going to see each other again. Never!

That's ridiculous.

- That's ridiculous! - It's not a joke.

- Oh, you dirty rat! - It's finished.

Look, when something's finished, it begins again.

I'm getting married!

I'm going away.

It's finished.

Oh, Jesus.

Listen, that's not a subway strap, that's me cock!

It's finished!

Jesus!

Wait a minute!

You dumb bimbo!

Shit! Wait a minute. Goddamn it!

Hey!

Hey, rube! Come here!

Come here!

Come here!

I'm gonna get you!

Bimbo!

Stop! Stop!

Hold it!

It's over.

Hey, cool it!

Stop it! We're finished.

Go away! Go away! Go away!

Go away!

I can't win.

Give me a break!

I'll call the police!

Aha! I smell the henhouse.

Well, shit, I'm not in your way.

After you, mademoiselle!

So long, sister. Besides, you're a crummy-looking broad.

I don't give a damn if I never see you again.

Shit.

It's over!

It's over!

Oh, fuck the police.

It's over!

Listen, I want to talk to you.

Help!

Help! Help!

Please, help!

Help! Help!

Oh, man!

Help! Help me!

Help!

This is getting ridiculous.

It's the title shot, baby.

We're going all the way.

It's a little old,

but full of memories?

Mademoiselle...

How do you like your hero?

Over easy or sunny-side up?

You ran through Africa and Asia

and Indonesia.

And now I've found you.

And I love you.

I wanna know your name.

Jeanne.

Our children.

Our children.

Our children...

will remember.

I don't know who he is.

He followed me in the street.

He tried to rape me. He's a lunatic.

I don't know what he's called.

I don't know his name.

I don't know who he is.

He tried to rape me.

I don't know.

I don't know him.

I don't know who he is.

He's a lunatic.

I don't know his name.