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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:10,275 [music playing] 2 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:18,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,694 [chatter] 4 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,130 [greeting] 5 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,500 I didn't miss anything, did I? 6 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:35,567 No, no, no, you didn't miss it. 7 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,269 I was just about to begin in. 8 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,973 Gentlemen, I want to remind you of a very special someone... 9 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,609 Baseball legend Wade Boggs... -Great. 10 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:47,479 HOWIE: who is rumored to have drank 64 Miller Lites 11 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:50,115 on a cross-country flight. 12 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,885 Now, I'm not saying we have to match that. 13 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,686 But it's good to have goals! 14 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:55,487 [interposing voices] 15 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:56,889 It's good to have goals. 16 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:57,689 I like that. 17 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:58,690 I wrote that. 18 00:00:58,692 --> 00:00:59,958 I wrote that and memorized it. 19 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,127 God, I didn't think you were going to make it, dude. 20 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,362 Barrett said you're way too whipped 21 00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:04,663 by Katherine to do a pub crawl. 22 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,065 BARRETT: Don't misquote me, man. 23 00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:07,399 I didn't say that. 24 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,368 I said, he's way too scared of Katherine to blow her up. 25 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:13,405 Come on, there's no way I would miss as a new tradition, right? 26 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,407 I'm just going to be responsible a little bit. 27 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,842 I'm gonna do three bars, and that's it. 28 00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,077 What? BARRETT: Three bars? 29 00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:18,877 Three bars? 30 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,279 Three bars. 31 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:21,947 HOWIE: Oh, I mean, there's no point of you even being here. 32 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,382 I mean, you should just go home now, 33 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,984 man, because you're going to miss all the good shit. 34 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:26,819 He wrote a speech. 35 00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,220 OK, I understand. 36 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,721 But, dude, Katherine's parents are visiting from out of town, 37 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:30,756 and I got to hang out. 38 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:31,990 If I skipped out, then she'll kill me. 39 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,158 DAVID: Hey, guys, guys, guys, guys, check this out. 40 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,259 I know we said we were just going 41 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,461 to do beer at the first bar. 42 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,262 But there was this super-hot shot girl. 43 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,164 She freaking was so hot. 44 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,066 Do I have to teach your little brother everything? 45 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,734 Never ever talk to the shot girls. 46 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:43,702 Never. 47 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,404 They're just undercover bartenders. 48 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,505 And they never put up. 49 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,943 'Cept that one might be different. 50 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:51,877 Excuse me, boys. 51 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,112 Oh. 52 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,114 I'm not even trying to hook up with that girl, man. 53 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,615 I... I actually really want to see how 54 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,950 things work with me and Amanda. 55 00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:58,951 Aw, that's sweet. 56 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,052 ADAM: Amanda? 57 00:02:00,054 --> 00:02:01,386 Are you talking about Katherine's friend? 58 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,387 Yeah. 59 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:03,388 You've been out on one date with her. 60 00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:04,690 -Yeah, but she's really cool. -Zzh! 61 00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:05,724 Beer pong's up. David, you in? 62 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:06,525 DAVID: All right. 63 00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:09,228 Oh, Adam and I got next. 64 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,629 Come here. 65 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,998 I gotta say, man, that rousing speech was awesome, man. 66 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,533 You got our song-playing dude. 67 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,935 This is not gonna be... Not gonna be easy. 68 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:19,638 Buddy, that is just the beginning. 69 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,206 Check it out. 70 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,207 ADAM: What the hell is that? 71 00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:25,043 HOWIE: That, my friend, is a barcycle. 72 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,478 Barcycle! 73 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,314 Let's be stupid people, man! 74 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,849 Heh. 75 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,050 Three bars, huh? 76 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,292 [MUSIC - MONTELL JORDAN, "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT"] 77 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,289 This is so weird. 78 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,657 He just texted me. 79 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,958 You know, I'm gonna call him again. 80 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,927 OK. 81 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:45,364 [guys conversing] 82 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,803 Oh, man, I'm so drunk, man. 83 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:54,806 Barcycle was a bad idea. 84 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,175 I really got to go. 85 00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:59,178 ADAM: I'll be right back. 86 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,512 Hey, what's up, babe? 87 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,749 Oh, my god, you look so good in a black dress. 88 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:05,117 What the fuck? 89 00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:07,986 Oh, my god, you look so good tonight. 90 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,354 You're like a doll. 91 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,189 What are you doing? 92 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,256 What's up? 93 00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:12,991 Oh, my god, I'm so sorry I'm late, ha-ha. 94 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,960 Adam, why did you get so drunk? 95 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:15,761 What? 96 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:16,995 Oh, my god. 97 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:20,165 Um, I... I'm not that drunk, but I was responsible. 98 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,935 And I only drank nine beers before flip cup. 99 00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:24,102 How many shots did you have? 100 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,204 Shots don't count. 101 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,105 Everybody knows that shots don't count. 102 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,840 All right, look, I confess. 103 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,042 I'm a little bit drunk. 104 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,009 But you know what? 105 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,611 The guys decided that we were going 106 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:36,081 to have, uh, every year to do a pub crawl, 107 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,382 because it's our anniversary. 108 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,651 Adam, do you even know when our anniversary is? 109 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,920 Yeah, totally, I know when it is. 110 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,355 Every single year. 111 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,456 [laughs] 112 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:48,493 It's not today, is it? 113 00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:49,328 Oh, shit. 114 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,029 It's today? 115 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,433 What did you get me? 116 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:55,834 Go be with your friends. 117 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:56,668 No way. 118 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,070 I would never do that with them. 119 00:03:58,072 --> 00:04:00,906 Why would you... I know how important this day is to you. 120 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:01,940 Why is Mook naked? 121 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,041 Mook's naked. 122 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,477 That's because that's how we party, dude! 123 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:06,278 KATHERINE: Adam. 124 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,913 ADAM: What? 125 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,381 Go be with your friends. 126 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,683 Oh, my god, I love you so much, Katherine. 127 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,151 Thank you, I know. 128 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:16,788 You guys, thanks so much for you know what. 129 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,825 Yeah, Mr. Dad and the mom. 130 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,026 Hey, guys! 131 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,894 Katherine said I could stay out a little longer. 132 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,831 [guys cheering] 133 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:29,668 Hey, Katherine, can you please tell Amanda call me? 134 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:33,605 [music playing] 135 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,048 [chatter] 136 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,483 ADAM: So what are we doing here? 137 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:52,651 BARRETT: David said we had to come. 138 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,586 ADAM: Oh, it's a party for Amanda. 139 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,021 BARRETT: He's so whipped. 140 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,623 HOWIE: He picked a bad week, but your little brother 141 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,359 did go all out, I'll say that. 142 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,226 Definitely. 143 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,461 This place, man. 144 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:03,662 Wow, man. 145 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:04,963 I really need to get my shit together. 146 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,331 BARRETT: Oh, man. 147 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,533 If I was making real estate money like David, 148 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,102 I wouldn't waste it on these wine parties. 149 00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:10,902 MOOK: Oh! 150 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,237 Oh, oh. 151 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:13,038 What? 152 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,706 What up with that one? 153 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,274 ADAM: That's my 16-year-old cousin. 154 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,177 So no because she's your cousin? 155 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,480 Or no because she's 16? 156 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,081 No, because of... really? 157 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:23,849 Yeah. 158 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,083 Hey, Adam. 159 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:25,884 Come here. 160 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,719 I could use your help. 161 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,754 ADAM: My mom's calling me. 162 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:29,888 And no, you can't fuck my mom either. 163 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:30,889 How's that? 164 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,290 No to my whole family. -Don't want to. 165 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,325 Yeah, yeah. 166 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:34,493 Don't want to. 167 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,094 I wan to fuck his mom so bad. 168 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:36,962 I know you do. I know. 169 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:37,763 Hey. 170 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:38,897 Hey. 171 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,499 I can't believe David put you to work today. 172 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,100 I volunteered. 173 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,136 What is that on your face? 174 00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:46,171 Why are you wearing it to your brother's big party? 175 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,472 Because I have to. 176 00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,608 It's for Fu Man Choose Your Own Adventure, all right? 177 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,276 If you want to play, we got a bunch of extra ones. 178 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,744 Mook can't grow facial hair, so we need 'em. 179 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,645 Yeah, right. 180 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,548 I'll pass. 181 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,350 Oh, aren't they adorable? 182 00:06:58,352 --> 00:07:00,051 Look how happy they are. 183 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:00,986 Aw. 184 00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,521 When are you gonna find someone? 185 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,288 Me? 186 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,089 Uh, heh. 187 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:04,890 I don't know. 188 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:05,991 Not anytime soon. 189 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,259 I don't want to, like, miss out on things. 190 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,560 Things? What things? 191 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,861 MOOK: Go, go. Yeah, yeah, I got it. 192 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,029 I got it. -Relax your esophagus. 193 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,197 Relax your esophagus. 194 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:12,998 Relax. 195 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,599 Relax. Relax. 196 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,467 Go, go, go. 197 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,468 More, more, more. 198 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,836 Stuff like that, kind of. 199 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,271 Not that, really. 200 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,872 Not drinking from the ass of a goose. 201 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,408 You know, even I am dating somebody now. 202 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,676 Oh, no, I know. 203 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:28,079 The point is, I... I... I'm very happy. 204 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,316 And I want you to be happy too. 205 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:34,386 David said that Katherine is coming tonight. 206 00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:37,289 And she RSVPed plus one. 207 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:38,723 Oh, cool. Katherine's coming? 208 00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:39,858 That's great, yeah. 209 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,927 Uh, she... yeah, she's coming with somebody, 210 00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,829 'cause she's over it, and I'm over it. 211 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,197 And we're both over it. 212 00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:47,966 So that's... that's... I mean, that's... that's great. 213 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,968 No problem here. 214 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,039 Holy shit. 215 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,140 Hey, man. 216 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,908 Uh, we have a bit... Little bit of a problem. 217 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,876 Where are the guys? 218 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,244 The guys. 219 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,046 The guys are definitely not out flirting with your cousin, 220 00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:01,780 I know that. Why? 221 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:02,581 What's up? 222 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,949 Man, uh, OK. 223 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,383 Well, Katherine's on her way here. 224 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:06,318 And you know what? 225 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,719 She's bringing a date. So great. 226 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:08,753 Good. 227 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,222 Hey, Katherine, the one that got away. 228 00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:12,157 Yeah, you actually don't have to say that every time I... 229 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:12,991 I bring her... her up. 230 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,025 It's really annoying. 231 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,527 You get so pissed off every time, man. 232 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,761 OK. Well, you know what? 233 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:17,896 It's not that funny. 234 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,030 If it happened to you, it wouldn't be funny. 235 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,098 It would never happen to me, because I've 236 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,166 never been broken up with. 237 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,535 Look, you're stressing out over nothing. 238 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,570 She is probably dating some dork. 239 00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:26,938 I know this. -OK, but... 240 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,640 -Oh, my god, she just walked in. -Where? 241 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:29,574 Oh, shit. 242 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,009 This is my boyfriend, Mario. 243 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,411 [stifled laughing] 244 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,413 ADAM: You don't have to say it. 245 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,716 BARRETT: I know I don't have to, but I have to. 246 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,051 Your ex-girlfriend is dating AC Slater! 247 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,020 Oh, my god! 248 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,021 Yeah, I know, dude. 249 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:43,788 OK? 250 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:44,856 Oh, hey, Katherine! 251 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:45,624 No, what are you doing? Shut the fuck up. 252 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,725 Hey. 253 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:47,859 What do you mean, what am I doing? 254 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,960 This is, like, the greatest day of our lives! 255 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,228 ADAM: No, it's a shitty day of my life, man. 256 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,363 You're being selfish. 257 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,597 -How am I being selfish? -Just get it together. 258 00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:53,398 Hey, guys. 259 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,332 Hi. 260 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,333 Mario, this is Adam. 261 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,134 Hey. 262 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,302 Hey, how are you? 263 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,370 -Barrett. -Yeah. 264 00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,638 -Big fan. -Oh. 265 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,572 BARRETT: Huge fan. 266 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:01,806 And not of the hosting bullshit. 267 00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,441 But you know. 268 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,376 You know. 269 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,177 Yeah, yeah, I can probably guess. 270 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,279 (DISCREETLY) "Saved by the Bell." 271 00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:08,146 [laughs] 272 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,114 That's it, man. 273 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,348 Oh. 274 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:13,184 I like the, uh... the... that you got going on there. 275 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,486 Oh, heh. Uh, yeah. 276 00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:15,520 Oh, it's not real. 277 00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,655 I... I didn't get the memo. 278 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:17,856 I'm sorry. 279 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,858 Yeah, no, it's just something we do every year. 280 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,660 It's called Fu Man... BOTH: Choose Your Own Adventure. 281 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,861 Yeah. 282 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:23,862 I can't believe it's that time of year again, huh? 283 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:26,264 I... I... I can't believe it. 284 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,866 BARRETT: Hey, maybe next year you could join us. 285 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:28,667 Yeah. Well, that's the whole thing. 286 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:29,568 But yeah. I mean, maybe. 287 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,136 But... -He could totally join us. 288 00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:32,404 Yeah, I know, but I'm talking about... 289 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,705 Maybe. Heh. 290 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:34,906 Uh, excuse me, guys. 291 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:35,941 I gotta use the restroom. 292 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:36,975 Honey, OK, I'll... I'll be right back. 293 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,643 -OK. -Oh, that's so crazy. 294 00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:39,544 I have to go too. 295 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,478 'K. 296 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,479 I'll try to sneak a peek for you. 297 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:42,581 Don't do that. 298 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:43,882 Hey. 299 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,084 Hey There 300 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:46,885 How is everything? 301 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,119 Really good. 302 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,088 God, it's so funny you asked, 'cause, uh, just, uh, 303 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,323 been doing good stuff. 304 00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:52,390 Yeah, wow. 305 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,458 I can't believe you're dating AC Slater. 306 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,426 That's crazy. 307 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:55,460 Well, actually, his name is Mario... 308 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,294 Albert Clifford Slater. 309 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,095 No, I know his name. 310 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,196 Heh-heh. 311 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,798 It's so weird because a few years ago, uh, 312 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,232 we were just on your couch watching 313 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,567 "Saved by the Bell" reruns. 314 00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:04,603 And now, I just can't believe Slater's been inside you, 315 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,704 you know? 316 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,872 It's like... uh, but what are the odds, huh? 317 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,541 I... I really don't know the odds to that. 318 00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:11,343 [glass clinking] 319 00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:13,044 Everybody, can I have your attention 320 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,546 for one second, please? 321 00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:18,049 I think it's time we should toast my beautiful girlfriend, 322 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,250 Amanda. 323 00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:23,555 She... she passed the bar today and is officially 324 00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:25,190 a bloodsucking lawyer. 325 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,892 TOGETHER: Hear, hear. 326 00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:30,895 I just want to say, in all seriousness, 327 00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:35,233 that I'm so proud of you, hon. 328 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:40,271 And I'm proud of who I've become since knowing you. 329 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:43,875 I know that I could spend the rest of my life with you. 330 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:44,877 So, um... 331 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:48,913 [gasps] 332 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,949 Amanda will you marry me? 333 00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:56,721 Yes! 334 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,356 Oh, my god, yes! 335 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,725 [applause] 336 00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,994 [yelling] 337 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,665 Who's ready for Fu Man Choose Your Own Adventure? 338 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:16,074 Are we not playing today? 339 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,276 [can clatters] 340 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,345 Guys could've sent an email or something. 341 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:25,284 Awesome. 342 00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:37,328 [faint conversation] 343 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,602 Nice boobs. 344 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,539 [music playing inside house] 345 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:53,311 Morning. 346 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,112 ADAM: Hey. 347 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,346 Hey. 348 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,515 I just saw a couple of unsatisfied women out there. 349 00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:58,817 Who disappointed them last night? 350 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,720 Uh, I think maybe they're disappointed in themselves. 351 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,421 This place, uh, looks disgusting. 352 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:07,058 I'm glad you guys cleaned up for the draft. 353 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,760 Hey, guys, how's it going? 354 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:09,794 How are you doing, David? 355 00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:10,595 Good morning. 356 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,663 [chuckles] 357 00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:13,531 Uh, quick question. 358 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:18,403 Who was texting Casey last night posing as my angry wife? 359 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,938 [chuckles] 360 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,840 Let me explain to you something about Casey, OK? 361 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,408 She is very young. 362 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,809 She's impressionable. 363 00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,045 She believed I was a state senator. 364 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:27,846 Why? 365 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,147 Because I have a beard. 366 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,349 Now, who did it? 367 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,684 No one? 368 00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:33,718 OK, wow. 369 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,053 Guess what. 370 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,087 Vengeance will be mine. 371 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,655 Are you guys still declaring vengeance? 372 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,590 What is that? 373 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,858 Are you guys, like, 15? 374 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:40,859 [door opens] 375 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:41,860 Hey. 376 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,261 What the fuck happened to this place? 377 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,763 Pussypop! 378 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:45,797 HOWIE: Pussypop! 379 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,599 Hey, I'm a grown-ass man with a family. 380 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,367 Y'all gotta stop calling me Pussypop, man. 381 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:50,168 [phone vibrates] 382 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:50,969 Hey, baby. 383 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:51,903 What's up, buttercup? 384 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,238 Oh, buttercup... That's a new one. 385 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,073 Buttercup, I love you. 386 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,941 You guys haven't changed one bit. 387 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:57,742 Thank you. 388 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,043 Not a compliment. 389 00:12:59,045 --> 00:12:59,878 BARRETT: Oh, shit. 390 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,179 What's going on? 391 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:01,980 MOOK: Barrett. 392 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,047 It's cool. 393 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,116 That's why we got the backup generator. 394 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,885 (MOCKINGLY) "This is why we got a backup generator." 395 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,853 They usually send a final warning first. 396 00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,121 They do. 397 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,289 DAVID: All right, it's gonna be OK. 398 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,490 Just don't... I love you. 399 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,458 OK. 400 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,592 How's the wife, David? 401 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,960 Don't say "wife." 402 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,129 We haven't been to his funeral yet. 403 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,764 Sorry, Pussypop. 404 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,900 Please stop acting like my wedding was a funeral. 405 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,134 Miss you, Pussypop. 406 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,235 This is for you, home. 407 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,277 PUSSYPOP: I'm alive! 408 00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:30,575 MAN: Morning, dude. 409 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,577 Morning. 410 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:38,917 Good morning, sunshine. 411 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:39,717 Hey. 412 00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,386 You feel out your baggy yet? 413 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,654 What the hell are you talking about? 414 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,489 Mm. 415 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,558 Check your email, shemale. 416 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,992 Howie made a March Madness tournament 417 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,028 of all the hot chicks Mario Lopez has fucked. 418 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,730 Katherine is up against the Victoria's Secret model 419 00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:53,865 in the first round. 420 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:54,766 She's a two-seed. 421 00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:55,867 Congrats, baby. 422 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,936 Does Howie ever actually do any work at work? 423 00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:59,337 Never. 424 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:03,608 Oh, we also just got the Evite for Miles' big Halloween party. 425 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,909 What are we gonna be this year? 426 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,845 Uh, you know, I'm... I don't want 427 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,479 to do a group costume again. 428 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,714 Nah. 429 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,082 We'll think of something cool. 430 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:16,888 Morning, Adam. 431 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:17,822 Hey, Mook. 432 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:18,656 Hey. 433 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,024 Are you guys going to be long? 434 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,559 Yeah, might be a few minutes. Go for it. 435 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:22,561 Oh, thanks. 436 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:30,068 "Adam's Fantasy Midseason Report Card?" 437 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,436 Very work-related, I'm sure. 438 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:32,737 Well, it helps me get through the day, 439 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,239 so it's got to count for something, huh? 440 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,206 MOOK: Hey, Beth. 441 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,441 You going to Lyle's Halloween party? 442 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,709 BETH: Guess that depends. 443 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,612 Are you guys going dressed as the Spice Girls again? 444 00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:43,014 Oh, for the record, I immediately regretted that. 445 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,382 I didn't regret shit. 446 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,118 I'm Scary Spice till I D-I-E, dawg. 447 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,319 Oh, god. 448 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,088 Um, are you gonna shave your legs again this year? 449 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,290 Oh, well, not for Halloween. 450 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,026 All right, I'm out of here. 451 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:55,827 Thank you. 452 00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:57,061 Yeah. 453 00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,565 Sorry you have to think about my legs right now. 454 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,234 Apology unaccepted. 455 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:07,405 So we are just openly hitting on Beth now? 456 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,506 No, I'm just messing around. 457 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,174 Come on, she always has a boyfriend anyway. 458 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,576 Never stopped me before, big dog. 459 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,610 Up top. 460 00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,078 I don't... I'm not gonna high-five you. 461 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,046 Little pinkie? 462 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,180 OK, fine, there. MOOK: There you go. 463 00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,415 There you go. -Good, you happy? 464 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,349 MOOK: Mm-hmm. 465 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,584 Adam, I was just calling your desk. 466 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,585 I have a package for you. 467 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,688 Oh, cool. 468 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,722 So how was your weekend? 469 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:25,757 It was great. 470 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,792 I tried pineapple for the first time. 471 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,127 So I've been wanting to talk to you. 472 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,895 One of my friends from college just moved here, 473 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,630 and she doesn't know anybody. 474 00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,766 And so I was worrying if any guys I worked with... 475 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:35,600 Wait, OK. 476 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,268 What does she do for a living? 477 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,636 She may be an actress. 478 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:39,570 OK, no. 479 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:40,538 We've been over this before. 480 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,639 Come on. 481 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,308 I know, but I really think you'd like her. 482 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,209 I mean, I know you're super begin into Asian girls, 483 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,411 but she's really pretty. 484 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:47,946 Wait, why do you think I'm big into Asian girls? 485 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,914 Well, Mook showed me a picture of your ex. 486 00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:52,250 She's gorgeous... definitely final four potential. 487 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,051 Yes. 488 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,085 Really? 489 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,853 All right, let me help you with this. 490 00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:56,654 Look at that thing. 491 00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:59,057 Who's it from? 492 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,391 Says it's from you. 493 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,259 Oh, no, no, no wait! 494 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,428 Whoa, shit. 495 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,429 Sorry. 496 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,230 My roommate is declaring vengeance on us. 497 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:09,334 RICHTMAN: Jamie, [inaudible] called to... oh. 498 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,234 Hey. 499 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,070 What is that? 500 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,005 Is that for me or... 501 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,741 No, it's, uh, for me. 502 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,309 Or, I mean, it could be... if you want it. 503 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,577 You don't want it. 504 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,678 -No, I don't want it. -Of course you don't want it. 505 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,479 Um... 506 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,480 What is wrong with you guys? 507 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,247 Seriously. 508 00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:24,115 What's your name? 509 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,216 Mook. 510 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,384 RICHTMAN: Mook, I'd expect this from you. 511 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,286 But you, Aaron? 512 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,120 Adam. 513 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:29,921 RICHTMAN: Adam? 514 00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:31,089 You think that matters? 515 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,257 You're holding a... A vase of dicks. 516 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,459 Point taken. 517 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:35,393 Come on! 518 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,462 It's a national lacrosse league. 519 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,330 This is disappointing. 520 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,265 Put those dicks somewhere. 521 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,368 Can he say... he'd say that to us. 522 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,502 I'll take care of it. 523 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,770 I... you guys shouldn't have to deal with this. 524 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,572 I have a... I have a place for them. 525 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:48,574 [chuckles] 526 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,509 Sorry. -It's really inappropriate. 527 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,511 ADAM: All right. 528 00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:01,085 You smell so good. 529 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,787 You guys thirsty? 530 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:03,588 Hmm? 531 00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:07,859 [music playing] 532 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:11,029 LYLE: Everybody, I need your attention up here to the stage. 533 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,663 Everyone, look at me. 534 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:13,498 All right! 535 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,266 How much do we love Halloween? 536 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,734 [all cheering] 537 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,669 All right! 538 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:23,074 And the winner is the Ghostbusters! 539 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:25,977 [loud cheering] 540 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:30,415 Hey. 541 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,549 Hey, how are you? 542 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,217 You guys were robbed, by the way. 543 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,419 I know, yeah. 544 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,454 What made you guys decide to be a group of turds? 545 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,156 Well, we were supposed to California Raisins, 546 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:38,956 and you know that. 547 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,058 Yeah, I know. 548 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,192 That's actually pretty cool. 549 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,693 I haven't had a group costume since college. 550 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:43,695 Smile. 551 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,802 Uh, cat and cat shit? 552 00:17:50,804 --> 00:17:52,170 I guess you can't say that anymore, huh? 553 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,671 Guess not. 554 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,672 JUSTIN: Hey. 555 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,673 Oh, hey! 556 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:56,474 Hey. 557 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,009 Hey, you made it. 558 00:17:58,011 --> 00:17:59,277 Um, Justin, Adam. 559 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,078 Adam, Justin. 560 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,079 I... I work with Adam. 561 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:01,979 Oh. Hey, Adam. 562 00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:02,780 Hey. 563 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:03,714 It's nice to meet you. 564 00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,149 Yeah, nice to meet you too, man. 565 00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:06,250 Uh, what'd you come as? 566 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,351 Oh, uh... 567 00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:08,753 Oh, he just... he came straight from work. 568 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:09,887 Hey, you look thirsty. 569 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:10,955 What are you drinking? 570 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:11,856 Uh, I don't know. 571 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:12,990 Let's get this party started. 572 00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:14,058 We'll do some Jagerbombs, huh? 573 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,860 [laughs] 574 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:16,928 Jagerbombs. 575 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,229 All right, you're really taking me back. 576 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,530 I mean, while we're at it, why don't we 577 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:20,565 get some Long Island Iced Teas? 578 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,667 [friends calling] 579 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,335 Uh, you guys are joking. 580 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:25,169 Obviously you're kidding. 581 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:26,204 Yeah, I get it. 582 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,805 Uh, listen, um, just order me whatever. 583 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:28,639 I'll be right back. 584 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:29,440 Excuse me. 585 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,374 Hey, Ro. What's going on? 586 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,409 I'm trying to have a conversation. 587 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,443 You interrupted me. 588 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,444 Yeah, with the girl and her boyfriend 589 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,779 who's like a grown man. 590 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,280 Look, look, look, that doesn't even matter right now, OK? 591 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:40,118 What matters is is that Barrett is talking shit to those hack 592 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,219 Ghostbusters over there. 593 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,453 It's about to get ugly, dude. 594 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,187 BARRETT: I ain't afraid of no ghosts, man! 595 00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,689 Oh, shit. Oh, it's on! 596 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:45,623 OK, man. You got Egon. 597 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,557 Wait. 598 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,825 Which one's Egon? The black one? 599 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:48,659 No! 600 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:49,961 All right, sorry. 601 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:53,364 Um, it's even numbers, so I'm gonna sit this one out. 602 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,332 Right here! 603 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,334 Right here! 604 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,238 Wait. 605 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,205 What? 606 00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:02,373 -Your mustache. -OK. 607 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,375 OK. 608 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:10,581 Adam, Adam, OK. 609 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,817 There are two horny devils over there. 610 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,018 I'm gonna need you to be my wingman. 611 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:14,819 Hey, hold on. 612 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,820 I want to go to talk Beth. 613 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,255 Wingman, dude! 614 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,496 What are you dressed... as some kind of old-timey prostitute? 615 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,499 Unless you are a modern prostitute. 616 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,834 Compliment! 617 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,435 [cowbell ringing] 618 00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:32,303 Wait, Mook, no, don't. 619 00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,104 Don't, Mook. 620 00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:36,040 After-party our place! 621 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,409 [cheering] 622 00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:42,813 (SINGING) South Central does it like nobody does. 623 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,916 This is how we do it. 624 00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:46,150 Something, something. 625 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,785 So it's 3:00 in the morning, and you're at our house, 626 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,820 and you have a boyfriend. 627 00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:52,056 Thanks for not opening with that. 628 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,424 HOWIE: Gabrus, you smell like herb. 629 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,825 [inaudible]. 630 00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,661 Gotta get your groove on. 631 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:59,564 Did you see that thing? 632 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:00,498 LANDLORD: Howie. 633 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,600 HOWIE: Hey, hey, it's my landlord. 634 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:03,367 LANDLORD: You're out. 635 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,769 Why do you like me? 636 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:07,104 Why don't you just like me? 637 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,440 HOWIE: I mean, this is honestly an enormous shocker. 638 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:10,942 LANDLORD: And I haven't received rent. 639 00:20:10,944 --> 00:20:13,411 This is the third time I've been here this month. 640 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:14,545 Your move. 641 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,846 HOWIE: You know, man. I mean, what is this? 642 00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,688 LANDLORD: That's it. I'm done. 643 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,588 OK, the bad news is, that was the landlord. 644 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,356 Barrett didn't mail our rent. 645 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,325 So we're evicted. 646 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:32,396 But, uh, the good news is, we ain't got nothing left to lose! 647 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,066 Crank up the music, Mooker! 648 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,567 Let's fucking go! Go! 649 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,401 Go! 650 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,070 Go! 651 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,671 Yeah! 652 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,640 [chuckling] 653 00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,142 Whoa. 654 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:46,143 What's going on? 655 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:46,944 Hey. 656 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,146 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 657 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,114 Where are you going? 658 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,816 I'm fucking out of here, dude. 659 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:52,717 No, no. 660 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,318 You were in with the toad. 661 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,653 You've done so much worse before. 662 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:56,621 Come on. -Not tonight, dude. 663 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:57,421 Come on. 664 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,322 HOWIE: What's the matter? 665 00:20:58,324 --> 00:20:59,624 Nothing's the matter, dude. 666 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,659 I'm just not fucking feeling it, all right? 667 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:04,161 I'm just... I'm... I'm done wasting time, all right? 668 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:04,962 Wasting what? 669 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:05,963 What? 670 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,098 Man, we're always living like this, 671 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,799 like we're still living like we're in college. 672 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:09,700 What's wrong with college? 673 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:10,735 ADAM: Listen to me, man. 674 00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:12,370 We're getting evicted, dude. 675 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,505 And my brother's getting married. 676 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,173 My boss thinks I'm a pervert. 677 00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:18,276 Newsflash... he's kinda right. 678 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,645 Should I call my girlfriend for some device? 679 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,613 Oh, no, I can't do that, because she's 680 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,315 dating a superstar celebrity. 681 00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,249 And guess what I am? 682 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,018 A California Raisin. 683 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:28,953 Hey, we are all raisins, baby! 684 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,954 Yeah, we are all raisins. 685 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:30,755 [inaudible] 686 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:31,922 Raisins for life. 687 00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,557 You're not supposed to be happy about that 688 00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,893 is my whole point, is that we're all raisins, and great. 689 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,228 That's not a good fucking thing. 690 00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:39,897 We live every day, and every day is always the same, 691 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:40,965 day in and day out, right? 692 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:41,866 We're going to bars. 693 00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:42,933 We get into bar fights. 694 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,135 We go into karaokes. 695 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:45,636 We do karaoke sings, OK? 696 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,305 I work for lacrosse, dude. 697 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,006 And that's not cool. 698 00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,676 It was supposed to be a stepping stone, but now it's my career. 699 00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:53,577 I... I try to meet a girl. 700 00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:54,812 I can't do that, OK? 701 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:56,714 What about the girl that works in my office, Beth? 702 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:58,416 She doesn't want to go out with a guy who can't put 703 00:21:58,418 --> 00:21:59,717 [inaudible] on his shoulders. 704 00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,352 She doesn't want to go out with a guy who doesn't 705 00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:03,120 have a nice watch collection. 706 00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:04,221 I have one watch. 707 00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:05,289 It's rubber and it's orange. 708 00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:07,425 And I don't even know where it is, dude. 709 00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,160 I have no dentist, OK? 710 00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:11,295 I don't know how to open a bottle of wine. 711 00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:12,830 I try to open up a bottle of wine. 712 00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,765 Every time I try to open a bottle of wine, 713 00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:15,933 the cork goes in the wine. 714 00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:18,135 And I'm always like, who gives a shit? 715 00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:19,303 I'll... I'll drink this shit anyway. 716 00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:20,404 And... 717 00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:21,672 HOWIE: What the fuck are you talking about? 718 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:22,840 I'll tell you right now. 719 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,476 I... I fucking have a cork inside me right now. 720 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:27,445 And I'm gonna... and right now is the moment where I'm going 721 00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:30,047 to start to give a shit. 722 00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:32,116 Because I don't... I'm not going to have a cork in me anymore, 723 00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:33,118 and I'm done. 724 00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:38,162 Wait, are you breaking up with us, dude? 725 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,828 Yeah, I think I... I think I am breaking up with you guys. 726 00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:46,997 Because we could use some time apart. 727 00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:47,998 Wow. 728 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,900 You son of a bitch! 729 00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:50,868 All right, dude. 730 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:52,069 What? 731 00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:53,704 You're drunk. 732 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:56,006 You don't want to say something right now that you're not 733 00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:57,108 going to be able to take back. 734 00:22:57,110 --> 00:22:57,908 Hey, you know what? 735 00:22:57,910 --> 00:22:58,843 I'm done with this. 736 00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:00,111 I'm done with totes. 737 00:23:00,113 --> 00:23:02,012 I'm done with "This Is How We Do It," Montell Jordan. 738 00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:02,847 Oh, no, no. 739 00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:04,515 You leave Montell out of this. 740 00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:05,316 Shots fired. 741 00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:06,550 MOOK: Don't you dare. 742 00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:08,018 -That is not good. -Don't you fucking dare, Adam. 743 00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,019 That is not good. 744 00:23:09,021 --> 00:23:11,122 OK, so you're just going to walk away 745 00:23:11,124 --> 00:23:12,990 after all the laughs we've had and 746 00:23:12,992 --> 00:23:15,025 after everything I sacrificed. 747 00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:16,494 You're just going to walk away. 748 00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:17,528 Oh, you sacrifice it? 749 00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:18,696 Yeah, yeah, I sacrifice. 750 00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:21,232 I don't have a fucking dentist either, man. 751 00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:22,700 My teeth hurt like shit! 752 00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:23,734 That's my whole point. 753 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:24,702 It's over. 754 00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:25,669 You're over! 755 00:23:25,671 --> 00:23:26,671 It's over! 756 00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:34,578 So, uh, listen. 757 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:39,450 I, um... I want to apologize about last night. 758 00:23:39,452 --> 00:23:43,554 I know I said some... Heh... harsh things. 759 00:23:43,556 --> 00:23:46,357 But I just wanted to say I'm sorry. 760 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,760 Well, I accept your apology. 761 00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:53,364 Consider every word you said taken back. 762 00:23:53,366 --> 00:23:57,001 That's actually the thing about that, is that, um, 763 00:23:57,003 --> 00:24:00,571 there were parts that I... I do still kind of agree with, 764 00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:03,574 and one of them being that I think maybe we 765 00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:04,775 spend too much time together. 766 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:08,012 And, uh, we should break up. 767 00:24:08,014 --> 00:24:09,480 Adam's just not that into us. 768 00:24:09,482 --> 00:24:10,381 ADAM: No, dude. 769 00:24:10,383 --> 00:24:11,749 Look. 770 00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:14,118 Have any of us changed at all since we've met each other? 771 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:14,919 BARRETT: Yes! 772 00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,187 Howie's fatter now. 773 00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:17,588 Significantly fatter. 774 00:24:17,590 --> 00:24:18,656 Yeah, I did it on purpose. 775 00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:20,925 OK, can I weigh in here for a second? 776 00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:22,259 Jesus. 777 00:24:22,261 --> 00:24:25,463 Howie, you've never been promoted ever. 778 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:27,598 Well, I don't think my job really does that sort of thing. 779 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:28,399 [interposing voices] 780 00:24:28,401 --> 00:24:29,500 They do that at your job. 781 00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:30,367 They do that at every job. 782 00:24:30,369 --> 00:24:31,402 MOOK: Every job has promotions. 783 00:24:31,404 --> 00:24:32,269 Every job has promotions. 784 00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,071 You're not a prostitute. 785 00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:35,272 There's somewhere to go. 786 00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:38,075 Barrett, you quit college to join a dart league. 787 00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:39,043 Yes, I did. 788 00:24:39,045 --> 00:24:39,844 And we won. 789 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:40,778 So it was worth it. 790 00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:42,179 Totally not worth it. 791 00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:45,082 And Mook, you know, you work at the lacrosse thing. 792 00:24:45,084 --> 00:24:46,217 But I still don't really know what 793 00:24:46,219 --> 00:24:47,451 you want to do with your life. 794 00:24:47,453 --> 00:24:48,619 I just want to dance. 795 00:24:48,621 --> 00:24:49,420 DAVID: Exactly. 796 00:24:49,422 --> 00:24:50,221 Mook wants to dance. 797 00:24:50,223 --> 00:24:52,089 And he wouldn't... what? 798 00:24:52,091 --> 00:24:53,390 What? 799 00:24:53,392 --> 00:24:55,659 I didn't say anything. 800 00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,628 You want to dance. 801 00:24:57,630 --> 00:24:58,429 Homo. 802 00:24:58,431 --> 00:24:59,330 [chuckles] 803 00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:00,097 OK, that's homophobic. 804 00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:01,232 Not cool. 805 00:25:01,234 --> 00:25:02,466 But I think... I think that Adam has a point. 806 00:25:02,468 --> 00:25:05,736 You guys definitely need a break from this. 807 00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:07,304 Of course, you'd never be able to do it. 808 00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:08,138 But, you know. 809 00:25:08,140 --> 00:25:09,340 Wait, are you challenging us? 810 00:25:09,342 --> 00:25:10,808 Yeah, I'm challenging you, Barrett. 811 00:25:10,810 --> 00:25:11,976 Challenge accepted. DAVID: OK. 812 00:25:11,978 --> 00:25:13,177 BARRETT: Are there rules? What are the rules? 813 00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,111 DAVID: You guys want to see the rules? 814 00:25:14,113 --> 00:25:15,379 OK, well, I brought the rules. 815 00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:16,780 [interposing voices] 816 00:25:16,782 --> 00:25:17,581 What is that? 817 00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:18,415 These are the rules. 818 00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:19,416 These are the breakup contract. 819 00:25:19,418 --> 00:25:20,417 When did you write that? 820 00:25:20,419 --> 00:25:21,986 Well, when Adam called me last night, 821 00:25:21,988 --> 00:25:23,053 I couldn't really go to sleep. 822 00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:24,288 So I drew this up. 823 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:25,956 I knew that the only way you guys would pay attention 824 00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:27,124 if I made this shit official. 825 00:25:27,126 --> 00:25:28,759 So here it is, OK? 826 00:25:28,761 --> 00:25:31,595 First up, all communication cut off. 827 00:25:31,597 --> 00:25:33,364 This shit's not going to happen forever, right? 828 00:25:33,366 --> 00:25:36,200 So I figure six months is a good time for the breakup. 829 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,468 My wedding is in six months. 830 00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:38,936 It seems like a natural end. 831 00:25:38,938 --> 00:25:40,704 And listen, I know getting evicted sucks. 832 00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,907 But I worked that into the contract, OK? 833 00:25:42,909 --> 00:25:44,875 It's going to help the break up a ton. 834 00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:47,378 The three of you, I'll find you all sublets. 835 00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:49,179 Adam, you can move in with me and Amanda. 836 00:25:49,181 --> 00:25:50,781 Ha, your marriage is doomed. 837 00:25:50,783 --> 00:25:51,615 I think I'll help. 838 00:25:51,617 --> 00:25:52,716 OK, OK, OK. 839 00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:54,518 What kind of cool shit do we get if we win? 840 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,120 I'm glad you asked that, Barrett. 841 00:25:56,122 --> 00:25:57,955 There's a place on 9th Street. 842 00:25:57,957 --> 00:25:59,690 I have this stuff on lockdown. 843 00:25:59,692 --> 00:26:01,859 I'm good friends with the owner, and he gave me first dibs. 844 00:26:01,861 --> 00:26:03,227 -What? -Yeah. 845 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:06,096 It's not even available till the spring, and it's amazing. 846 00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:08,365 Four bedrooms, two baths, a dozen 847 00:26:08,367 --> 00:26:09,667 bars within walking distance. 848 00:26:09,669 --> 00:26:12,136 I would honestly move in there myself if I wasn't... 849 00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:13,137 Making a huge mistake? 850 00:26:13,139 --> 00:26:14,872 I was going to say happily living 851 00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:17,174 in a valley with my fiancee. 852 00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:18,542 And this could be for us, like, to live. 853 00:26:18,544 --> 00:26:19,343 Like, we can live there? 854 00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:20,678 Now, listen. 855 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,279 If this is going to work, there needs to be consequences, 856 00:26:22,281 --> 00:26:24,214 and you guys need to be horrified of them. 857 00:26:24,216 --> 00:26:26,283 I think if you break the rules for the first time, 858 00:26:26,285 --> 00:26:27,418 I cancel fantasy football. 859 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:28,285 You're not gonna do that. 860 00:26:28,287 --> 00:26:29,620 DAVID: I'm just getting started. 861 00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:31,655 If you break the rules a second time, this place is gone. 862 00:26:31,657 --> 00:26:32,957 Just erase it from your mind. 863 00:26:32,959 --> 00:26:34,858 And my bachelor party is off, and I'm throwing 864 00:26:34,860 --> 00:26:36,627 a jack and jill party instead. BARRETT: The fuck is that? 865 00:26:36,629 --> 00:26:37,394 ADAM: I don't even know what those are. 866 00:26:37,396 --> 00:26:38,762 HOWIE: Yeah, what is that? 867 00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,598 It's when the bride and groom have their parties together. 868 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,665 -What? -Nobody does that. 869 00:26:41,667 --> 00:26:42,600 -Do people do that? -That's bad for you. 870 00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:43,867 That's not even a real thing, man. 871 00:26:43,869 --> 00:26:47,071 And if you break it a third time, 872 00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:49,473 I'm going to make my wedding a cash bar. 873 00:26:49,475 --> 00:26:53,077 And you could say goodbye to fantasy baseball. 874 00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:54,912 Oh, my... I hate you, David. 875 00:26:54,914 --> 00:26:55,913 BARRETT: Hey, hey, hey, hey. 876 00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:56,880 What the fuck? 877 00:26:56,882 --> 00:26:57,881 [interposing voices] 878 00:26:57,883 --> 00:26:59,016 What are you doing, man? BARRETT: Chill. 879 00:26:59,018 --> 00:27:00,050 I'm upset too. I'm upset too. 880 00:27:00,052 --> 00:27:01,085 I have another question. 881 00:27:01,087 --> 00:27:01,919 DAVID: Yes, sir. 882 00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:03,187 Why are you doing this? 883 00:27:03,189 --> 00:27:04,054 I don't know, guys. 884 00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:06,156 I think that it's a great thing. 885 00:27:06,158 --> 00:27:08,459 I think you guys have all been like my older brothers. 886 00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:11,161 And I would just like the see you all grow up. 887 00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:12,930 All of you. 888 00:27:12,932 --> 00:27:13,932 Just a little. 889 00:27:19,372 --> 00:27:20,437 I mean, look, you know? 890 00:27:20,439 --> 00:27:21,872 I think that some of this stuff is harsh, 891 00:27:21,874 --> 00:27:22,906 but I think it should be harsh. 892 00:27:22,908 --> 00:27:27,911 I... I think that this is a good idea. 893 00:27:27,913 --> 00:27:30,881 I think that we should do it. 894 00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:32,650 (WHISPERING) Adam, this is insane. 895 00:27:32,652 --> 00:27:34,018 This is really crazy. 896 00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,919 If you're trying to act like you're just whispering to me, 897 00:27:35,921 --> 00:27:37,354 they can here you anyways. So just talk louder. 898 00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:38,422 This is madness! 899 00:27:38,424 --> 00:27:39,657 -Lower your voice. -Is this a good level? 900 00:27:39,659 --> 00:27:40,824 -Fuck split the difference. -Is this a good level? 901 00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:41,625 That's good. 902 00:27:41,627 --> 00:27:42,826 Look, Adam. 903 00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:44,061 Please. 904 00:27:44,063 --> 00:27:45,396 I'll change. I'll change. 905 00:27:45,398 --> 00:27:46,397 I'll do whatever you want. 906 00:27:46,399 --> 00:27:48,432 I'll do all the fucking things you like, 907 00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:50,434 and I won't stop until you say no. 908 00:27:50,436 --> 00:27:51,669 Just don't leave me! 909 00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:54,738 Don't leave me in the fucking dust, man! 910 00:27:54,740 --> 00:27:56,073 Just please don't. 911 00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:00,244 Don't. 912 00:28:00,246 --> 00:28:01,045 Don't. 913 00:28:01,047 --> 00:28:03,814 [heaving sighing] 914 00:28:03,816 --> 00:28:05,649 Don't. 915 00:28:05,651 --> 00:28:07,418 Don't. 916 00:28:07,420 --> 00:28:08,519 Shit. 917 00:28:08,521 --> 00:28:10,601 You know, maybe we should try the breakup. 918 00:28:23,202 --> 00:28:24,202 [sighs] 919 00:28:29,542 --> 00:28:31,241 You really think I should go three wide? 920 00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:32,309 That's not desperate? 921 00:28:32,311 --> 00:28:33,677 I mean, it depends on who's on your team. 922 00:28:33,679 --> 00:28:34,878 But yeah. 923 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,246 You know, I mean, it's a passing league now, right? 924 00:28:36,248 --> 00:28:38,015 So if your fantasy football team is running a flex position, 925 00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:39,249 then you got to add a third receiver. 926 00:28:39,251 --> 00:28:41,085 Yeah, you know why it's a passing league? 927 00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:42,619 Because nobody wants to get hit anymore. 928 00:28:42,621 --> 00:28:43,587 Right? Heh? 929 00:28:43,589 --> 00:28:44,722 Huh? 930 00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:47,858 Like lacrosse... minimal padding, sweat, dirt, 931 00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,426 hardcore athleticism. 932 00:28:49,428 --> 00:28:52,529 None of that pussy football princess crap, right? 933 00:28:52,531 --> 00:28:53,363 ADAM: Right. 934 00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:55,599 Real men get concussions, man. 935 00:28:55,601 --> 00:28:57,101 Lacrosse. 936 00:28:57,103 --> 00:28:58,569 Wow, that should be our motto. 937 00:28:58,571 --> 00:28:59,403 Yeah. 938 00:28:59,405 --> 00:29:01,705 Real men get concussions, man. 939 00:29:01,707 --> 00:29:02,573 Fucking lacrosse. 940 00:29:02,575 --> 00:29:03,707 Hell yeah. -Wow. 941 00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:04,742 You can't say "fuck." -No? 942 00:29:04,744 --> 00:29:05,709 Sponsored stuff, you can't... 943 00:29:05,711 --> 00:29:06,510 OK. 944 00:29:06,512 --> 00:29:07,444 Right, well, all right. 945 00:29:07,446 --> 00:29:08,245 Right. 946 00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:09,880 That's why you're in PR. 947 00:29:09,882 --> 00:29:10,948 And I'm the boss. -Right. 948 00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:11,882 -Right? -Right. 949 00:29:11,884 --> 00:29:12,683 OK. 950 00:29:12,685 --> 00:29:13,717 Good talk, man. 951 00:29:13,719 --> 00:29:15,018 Good talk. 952 00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:17,654 Real men... real men get concussions, man. 953 00:29:17,656 --> 00:29:18,856 Right, or something like that. 954 00:29:18,858 --> 00:29:19,690 But yeah. 955 00:29:19,692 --> 00:29:21,592 Real men get concussions, yo. 956 00:29:21,594 --> 00:29:23,327 Lacrosse, damn! 957 00:29:23,329 --> 00:29:24,428 That's a little urban, but... 958 00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:25,496 Damn! 959 00:29:25,498 --> 00:29:27,064 -Something like that, yeah. -Just do it. 960 00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:27,865 ADAM: OK. 961 00:29:27,867 --> 00:29:28,866 [door closes] 962 00:29:28,868 --> 00:29:29,833 RICHTMAN: Damn! 963 00:29:29,835 --> 00:29:30,801 That is [inaudible]. 964 00:29:30,803 --> 00:29:33,737 [clapping] 965 00:29:33,739 --> 00:29:35,439 Holy shit, dude. 966 00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:37,040 Did you go shopping? 967 00:29:37,042 --> 00:29:39,977 You are fucking good-looking, my man. 968 00:29:39,979 --> 00:29:43,247 Guess I never really appreciated that when we were together. 969 00:29:43,249 --> 00:29:44,815 Hey, what was going on with you and Richtman? 970 00:29:44,817 --> 00:29:46,116 Are you in trouble, dude? 971 00:29:46,118 --> 00:29:49,186 No, he just sat down and started talking 972 00:29:49,188 --> 00:29:51,054 to me like a real person. 973 00:29:51,056 --> 00:29:52,055 First time ever. 974 00:29:52,057 --> 00:29:54,858 Yeah, I bet it's because you hot as shit. 975 00:29:54,860 --> 00:29:56,160 Did he ask about my report? 976 00:29:56,162 --> 00:29:57,227 I was rushed. 977 00:29:57,229 --> 00:29:59,363 I also technically didn't do any research. 978 00:29:59,365 --> 00:30:01,932 Uh, yeah, didn't come up. 979 00:30:01,934 --> 00:30:02,733 Oh. 980 00:30:02,735 --> 00:30:03,534 OK. 981 00:30:03,536 --> 00:30:06,036 Well, what did he ask about? 982 00:30:06,038 --> 00:30:07,004 It's not healthy, dude. 983 00:30:07,006 --> 00:30:07,805 Shouldn't say. 984 00:30:07,807 --> 00:30:09,339 Oh, just tell me, man. 985 00:30:09,341 --> 00:30:10,407 Fine. 986 00:30:10,409 --> 00:30:13,377 We were talking about fantasy football. 987 00:30:13,379 --> 00:30:14,511 Oh. 988 00:30:14,513 --> 00:30:16,046 You were? 989 00:30:16,048 --> 00:30:16,847 Wow. 990 00:30:16,849 --> 00:30:19,316 Uh, OK. 991 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:20,450 How was it? Was it good? 992 00:30:20,452 --> 00:30:21,251 How's his team? 993 00:30:21,253 --> 00:30:22,953 Is he better than me? 994 00:30:22,955 --> 00:30:23,787 Wasn't better than you. 995 00:30:23,789 --> 00:30:26,523 Just different. 996 00:30:26,525 --> 00:30:28,225 You now what? 997 00:30:28,227 --> 00:30:29,159 Fine! 998 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:30,427 Be with Richtman! 999 00:30:30,429 --> 00:30:32,496 I never liked talking fantasy with you, anyway, Adam. 1000 00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:33,297 I faked it! 1001 00:30:33,299 --> 00:30:36,366 Faked it every single time! 1002 00:30:36,368 --> 00:30:37,167 Sorry. 1003 00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:38,368 ADAM: It's all right. 1004 00:30:38,370 --> 00:30:41,572 It's OK. 1005 00:30:41,574 --> 00:30:42,539 Hey, Adam. 1006 00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:43,874 I'm just going around... 1007 00:30:43,876 --> 00:30:44,842 Hey. 1008 00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:45,909 Hey. 1009 00:30:45,911 --> 00:30:47,544 Um, I'm just going around getting people 1010 00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:48,979 for kickball on the weekends. 1011 00:30:48,981 --> 00:30:51,448 Should I just mark you down as definitely too hungover 1012 00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:53,517 to attend as usual? 1013 00:30:53,519 --> 00:30:55,352 Well, you don't really mark it down like that, do you? 1014 00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:56,520 Oh, yeah. No, I do, absolutely. 1015 00:30:56,522 --> 00:30:57,688 Uh, all right. 1016 00:30:57,690 --> 00:31:00,224 Well, not today, because I'm trying new things. 1017 00:31:00,226 --> 00:31:01,558 So I'll be there. 1018 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:02,860 All right. 1019 00:31:02,862 --> 00:31:05,062 That's, um... that's a good look you got going on today. 1020 00:31:05,064 --> 00:31:06,096 You look nice. 1021 00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:07,098 Thanks. 1022 00:31:11,770 --> 00:31:12,836 Hey, Jamie. 1023 00:31:12,838 --> 00:31:15,606 Uh, listen I, uh... I changed my mind. 1024 00:31:15,608 --> 00:31:17,241 You can tell your lonely actress friend that, 1025 00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:19,109 uh, I'd love to take her out. 1026 00:31:19,111 --> 00:31:20,444 Oh, my god, that's so exciting. 1027 00:31:20,446 --> 00:31:21,778 We could double date. 1028 00:31:21,780 --> 00:31:22,913 Double date. 1029 00:31:22,915 --> 00:31:24,748 Oh, well, who are you gon... oh, uh, you know. 1030 00:31:24,750 --> 00:31:26,683 Um, about Barrett... He, uh... actually... 1031 00:31:26,685 --> 00:31:29,353 Yeah, I've been texting him, and I haven't heard back. 1032 00:31:29,355 --> 00:31:31,555 Did he die? 1033 00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:34,024 Because that keeps happening to me. 1034 00:31:34,026 --> 00:31:35,325 No, he didn't die. 1035 00:31:35,327 --> 00:31:37,995 So I'll just keep on texting him then if he's not dead. 1036 00:31:37,997 --> 00:31:39,263 Um, question. 1037 00:31:39,265 --> 00:31:40,564 Uh, yeah? 1038 00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:43,667 Where do you think Barrett stands on the whole unicorn 1039 00:31:43,669 --> 00:31:44,468 philosophy? 1040 00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:45,435 What phil... 1041 00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:46,870 JAMIE: Do you think he's into it? 1042 00:31:46,872 --> 00:31:48,972 Or do you think he's against it? 1043 00:31:48,974 --> 00:31:50,040 Uh, I don't know. 1044 00:31:50,042 --> 00:31:54,044 I think maybe he's not too into unicorns. 1045 00:31:54,046 --> 00:31:57,614 But, I mean, that can be negotiable. 1046 00:31:57,616 --> 00:31:59,016 I guess anything is negotiable. 1047 00:31:59,018 --> 00:31:59,950 JAMIE: I totally thought so. 1048 00:31:59,952 --> 00:32:00,751 Right. 1049 00:32:00,753 --> 00:32:01,952 Yes. 1050 00:32:01,954 --> 00:32:03,654 I'm so excited you're gonna go out with Krista. 1051 00:32:03,656 --> 00:32:04,788 This is awesome. 1052 00:32:04,790 --> 00:32:06,423 And she's not your typical actress girl. 1053 00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:07,491 She's great. 1054 00:32:07,493 --> 00:32:09,159 She's like the most normal person I now. 1055 00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:10,161 Mm. 1056 00:32:12,898 --> 00:32:14,598 I'm having the best time. 1057 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:15,399 Oh, good. 1058 00:32:15,401 --> 00:32:16,533 Yeah. 1059 00:32:16,535 --> 00:32:18,268 Once I told Jamie that I over my black-guy phase, 1060 00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:19,770 she was all like, I'm gonna set you up. 1061 00:32:19,772 --> 00:32:20,570 And there you are. 1062 00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:21,638 Here you are. -Oh, yeah. 1063 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:22,839 OK. 1064 00:32:22,841 --> 00:32:25,575 They say you once you go black, you never go back. 1065 00:32:25,577 --> 00:32:26,910 Well, you do once your parents threaten 1066 00:32:26,912 --> 00:32:28,245 to take away your inheritance. 1067 00:32:28,247 --> 00:32:29,846 [laughs] Now, I'm kidding. 1068 00:32:29,848 --> 00:32:31,214 I just don't want to be a stepmom. 1069 00:32:31,216 --> 00:32:32,516 Oh. Oh. 1070 00:32:32,518 --> 00:32:33,684 That's... that's so racist. 1071 00:32:33,686 --> 00:32:34,484 That's... 1072 00:32:34,486 --> 00:32:35,919 So enough about me. 1073 00:32:35,921 --> 00:32:37,487 I want to know about you, OK? 1074 00:32:37,489 --> 00:32:38,722 Tell me everything. 1075 00:32:38,724 --> 00:32:40,223 Everything. 1076 00:32:40,225 --> 00:32:41,491 OK. 1077 00:32:41,493 --> 00:32:45,295 Um, uh, well, I was just... I was born outside of LA. 1078 00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:46,964 Oh my god, we should just get crazy right now! 1079 00:32:46,966 --> 00:32:47,798 Am I right? 1080 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:48,865 Oh, my god. 1081 00:32:48,867 --> 00:32:50,300 Can we have two butter nipples? Not these. 1082 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:51,234 Those. [chuckles] 1083 00:32:51,236 --> 00:32:52,569 Hey, do you want a head shot? 1084 00:32:52,571 --> 00:32:55,005 Oh, I don't... I don't think a head... 1085 00:32:55,007 --> 00:32:57,574 Don't I look like such a whore but in the best way? 1086 00:32:57,576 --> 00:32:58,709 Right. 1087 00:32:58,711 --> 00:32:59,810 You know what I'm saying? That's all yours. 1088 00:32:59,812 --> 00:33:01,111 I don't need this. I'm not really... 1089 00:33:01,113 --> 00:33:02,579 Yeah, most of the special skills on the back 1090 00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:03,413 are total bullshit. 1091 00:33:03,415 --> 00:33:04,581 I do not speak French. 1092 00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:06,183 I do not kayak. 1093 00:33:06,185 --> 00:33:09,419 The last thing on there... that's true. 1094 00:33:09,421 --> 00:33:12,723 How is... how is "no gag reflex" something 1095 00:33:12,725 --> 00:33:14,758 that's considered something that you would put on this paper? 1096 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,360 I don't... -I'll show you. 1097 00:33:16,362 --> 00:33:17,327 So you just... -No, no, no. 1098 00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:18,128 Uh-huh. 1099 00:33:18,130 --> 00:33:18,996 Oh, OK, I get it. 1100 00:33:18,998 --> 00:33:20,197 Hmm? 1101 00:33:20,199 --> 00:33:22,265 I get it. 1102 00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:23,066 Tada. 1103 00:33:23,068 --> 00:33:24,501 -Mm. -Right? 1104 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,269 Your hands smell a little weird, but you get over it. 1105 00:33:26,271 --> 00:33:27,471 -Cool. -How's this? 1106 00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:28,939 Uh... 1107 00:33:28,941 --> 00:33:30,407 Mm! 1108 00:33:30,409 --> 00:33:32,476 I hate beer. 1109 00:33:32,478 --> 00:33:33,543 I forgot. 1110 00:33:33,545 --> 00:33:34,344 Thank you. 1111 00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:35,178 Thanks. 1112 00:33:35,180 --> 00:33:37,514 Cheers. 1113 00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:38,582 Woo! 1114 00:33:38,584 --> 00:33:39,383 So good. 1115 00:33:39,385 --> 00:33:40,385 Ha-ha-ha. 1116 00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:47,791 So, uh, you got your, uh, car in valet too, or... 1117 00:33:47,793 --> 00:33:48,692 Oh, no, no. 1118 00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:49,493 I cannot drive. 1119 00:33:49,495 --> 00:33:50,927 I am so drunk. 1120 00:33:50,929 --> 00:33:52,829 Hey, let's just go back to your place. 1121 00:33:52,831 --> 00:33:54,064 Um, you know what? 1122 00:33:54,066 --> 00:33:55,532 I probably shouldn't... I probably shouldn't do that, 1123 00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:56,466 because, uh... -No, come on! 1124 00:33:56,468 --> 00:33:58,001 Take me to your place, you bitch! 1125 00:33:58,003 --> 00:33:58,969 [giggles] This is your car? 1126 00:33:58,971 --> 00:33:59,770 Yeah. 1127 00:33:59,772 --> 00:34:00,771 This is it? 1128 00:34:00,773 --> 00:34:02,739 I'm getting in. 1129 00:34:02,741 --> 00:34:05,175 Oh, god! 1130 00:34:05,177 --> 00:34:06,217 (MOUTHING) I'm sorry. 1131 00:34:11,050 --> 00:34:12,015 Oh, that butt. 1132 00:34:12,017 --> 00:34:13,316 Oh, that butt. -Hey, you know what? 1133 00:34:13,318 --> 00:34:14,284 I don't think we can do this. 1134 00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:15,619 I don't have protection on me. 1135 00:34:15,621 --> 00:34:16,720 Oh. 1136 00:34:16,722 --> 00:34:18,722 Good thing you said something, because I do. 1137 00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:19,523 OK. 1138 00:34:19,525 --> 00:34:20,524 Always. 1139 00:34:20,526 --> 00:34:22,092 What, do you just have those on you? 1140 00:34:22,094 --> 00:34:23,126 We are so gonna fuck! 1141 00:34:23,128 --> 00:34:24,327 Shh, shh. 1142 00:34:24,329 --> 00:34:26,029 My brother and his fiancee are in the next room, 1143 00:34:26,031 --> 00:34:26,930 so we have to be quiet, OK? 1144 00:34:26,932 --> 00:34:28,398 Do you want them to catch? 1145 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,000 -Of fucking course not! -I'm totally [inaudible]. 1146 00:34:30,002 --> 00:34:31,368 -No, no way. -[inaudible]. 1147 00:34:31,370 --> 00:34:32,469 Stay there. -OK. 1148 00:34:32,471 --> 00:34:33,370 -Stay there, [inaudible]. -Oh, Jesus. 1149 00:34:33,372 --> 00:34:34,171 Ugh! 1150 00:34:34,173 --> 00:34:35,138 This... this is happening? 1151 00:34:35,140 --> 00:34:37,507 Oh, it is fucking happening, mister! 1152 00:34:37,509 --> 00:34:38,308 Ready? -Yeah. 1153 00:34:38,310 --> 00:34:39,943 -[spits] -[sputters] 1154 00:34:39,945 --> 00:34:41,111 Oh, are you serious? 1155 00:34:41,113 --> 00:34:42,813 Fucking aah! 1156 00:34:42,815 --> 00:34:44,047 Get ready for the ride of your life, 1157 00:34:44,049 --> 00:34:46,316 because I watch a fuckload of porn! 1158 00:34:46,318 --> 00:34:47,484 How do you like this? 1159 00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:48,285 Take it! 1160 00:34:48,287 --> 00:34:49,086 No. 1161 00:34:49,088 --> 00:34:50,454 Can you breathe? 1162 00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,089 Take it. 1163 00:34:52,091 --> 00:34:53,423 I'm not gonna pee on you. 1164 00:34:53,425 --> 00:34:54,691 I hope that's cool with you. 1165 00:34:54,693 --> 00:34:56,026 It reminds of an ex. 1166 00:34:56,028 --> 00:34:58,128 You're legitimately scaring the shit out of me. 1167 00:34:58,130 --> 00:34:59,229 You have your yellow fever shot? 1168 00:34:59,231 --> 00:35:00,430 Uh... 1169 00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:01,865 Because you are about to enter the fucking jungle. 1170 00:35:01,867 --> 00:35:03,387 Yeah! -[grunts] 1171 00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:07,070 [vocalizes dramatic tune] 1172 00:35:07,072 --> 00:35:10,006 (SEDUCTIVELY) What is it? 1173 00:35:10,008 --> 00:35:10,974 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 1174 00:35:10,976 --> 00:35:12,509 Hey, for real? 1175 00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:14,578 Braise yourself. 1176 00:35:14,580 --> 00:35:15,879 Time to feed the tiger. 1177 00:35:15,881 --> 00:35:16,746 [hisses] -No! 1178 00:35:16,748 --> 00:35:17,547 No, no, no, no. 1179 00:35:17,549 --> 00:35:18,548 No, no, no. 1180 00:35:18,550 --> 00:35:19,550 Rah! 1181 00:35:23,021 --> 00:35:31,021 [sighs] 1182 00:35:33,065 --> 00:35:41,065 [sighs] 1183 00:35:43,175 --> 00:35:49,346 [sighs] 1184 00:35:49,348 --> 00:35:51,815 [sink running] 1185 00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:55,319 Oh, fuck. 1186 00:35:59,858 --> 00:36:00,991 Good morning! 1187 00:36:00,993 --> 00:36:02,392 Hey. 1188 00:36:02,394 --> 00:36:04,261 [giggles] 1189 00:36:04,263 --> 00:36:07,764 Hey, um, what happened last night? 1190 00:36:07,766 --> 00:36:12,269 Because I never get that drunk, like, ever. 1191 00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:14,571 [giggles] 1192 00:36:14,573 --> 00:36:18,341 Did you, um, roofie me maybe? 1193 00:36:18,343 --> 00:36:20,810 You're just so naughty. 1194 00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:22,445 You must've worked up an appetite, 1195 00:36:22,447 --> 00:36:24,447 so I'm going to make you eggs, OK? 1196 00:36:24,449 --> 00:36:25,782 Oh. 1197 00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:28,752 And speaking of eggs, there's a lot going on down here. 1198 00:36:28,754 --> 00:36:30,854 So maybe the condom broke. 1199 00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:32,055 [squeals] 1200 00:36:32,057 --> 00:36:33,056 One can hope, right? 1201 00:36:33,058 --> 00:36:34,457 [giggles] 1202 00:36:34,459 --> 00:36:35,792 [yawns] 1203 00:36:35,794 --> 00:36:37,427 Oh, hey, guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. 1204 00:36:37,429 --> 00:36:38,695 Go back to bed. Go back to bed. 1205 00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:40,664 You don't need to, uh, be up this early. 1206 00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:41,865 I can make you breakfast, seriously. 1207 00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:43,033 -Oh, that's sweet. -Really? 1208 00:36:43,035 --> 00:36:44,067 That's sweet. 1209 00:36:44,069 --> 00:36:45,735 An old-school Adam omelette? I'm down. 1210 00:36:45,737 --> 00:36:47,404 Yeah, well, it's the least I can do, you know? 1211 00:36:47,406 --> 00:36:48,638 I mean, just relax. 1212 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,041 Go back to bed, really. 1213 00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:52,642 What's going on in my kitchen? 1214 00:36:52,644 --> 00:36:54,644 Go, my go... my god. 1215 00:36:54,646 --> 00:37:00,116 Um, it, uh, just kinda happened. 1216 00:37:00,118 --> 00:37:01,451 Um... 1217 00:37:01,453 --> 00:37:02,686 What is on her ass? 1218 00:37:02,688 --> 00:37:03,486 What is that? 1219 00:37:03,488 --> 00:37:05,855 Yeah, it's of, uh, a tiger. 1220 00:37:05,857 --> 00:37:06,823 Um... 1221 00:37:06,825 --> 00:37:07,624 Oh. 1222 00:37:07,626 --> 00:37:08,892 Oh. 1223 00:37:08,894 --> 00:37:10,660 Is that why we heard growling and crying last night? 1224 00:37:10,662 --> 00:37:11,995 Because I thought you were just watching 1225 00:37:11,997 --> 00:37:13,897 Animal Planet stoned again. 1226 00:37:13,899 --> 00:37:14,731 No. 1227 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:15,932 No. 1228 00:37:15,934 --> 00:37:18,802 Well, uh... when you... She bounces up and down... 1229 00:37:18,804 --> 00:37:19,736 Don't. Stop. 1230 00:37:19,738 --> 00:37:20,537 Oh, my god. 1231 00:37:20,539 --> 00:37:21,871 What did you do? 1232 00:37:21,873 --> 00:37:23,306 Her ass cheeks go like this, and a tiger goes like this. 1233 00:37:23,308 --> 00:37:24,307 Oh, my god. 1234 00:37:24,309 --> 00:37:25,275 Oh. 1235 00:37:25,277 --> 00:37:26,710 I don't... oh, my god! 1236 00:37:26,712 --> 00:37:28,178 -Come on. -You know what? 1237 00:37:28,180 --> 00:37:29,446 Tell her to get some underwear on, OK? 1238 00:37:29,448 --> 00:37:31,114 OK. I'll handle it, baby. 1239 00:37:31,116 --> 00:37:33,917 I will handle it with care. 1240 00:37:33,919 --> 00:37:35,218 Hey, but seriously. What? 1241 00:37:35,220 --> 00:37:36,419 Tell me everything. 1242 00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:38,755 (HUSHED) When you do doggy style with her... when 1243 00:37:38,757 --> 00:37:40,423 you do doggy style with her... -Right. 1244 00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:42,259 it looks like the tiger's going like... it looks like 1245 00:37:42,261 --> 00:37:43,760 the tiger's going like this. 1246 00:37:43,762 --> 00:37:45,729 [guttural croaking] 1247 00:37:45,731 --> 00:37:47,130 I see what's happening, 'cause it's 1248 00:37:47,132 --> 00:37:50,000 like... it's kind of like the cartoon tiger, 1249 00:37:50,002 --> 00:37:51,034 except it's hornier. 1250 00:37:51,036 --> 00:37:51,968 Yeah, have you ever seen that YouTube 1251 00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:52,969 video where the panda sneezes? 1252 00:37:52,971 --> 00:37:54,004 Yeah. 1253 00:37:54,006 --> 00:37:55,472 It's like that, only with a tiger butt. 1254 00:37:55,474 --> 00:37:58,642 It's with an asshole for a mouth. 1255 00:37:58,644 --> 00:37:59,644 All right. 1256 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:03,013 No. What? 1257 00:38:03,015 --> 00:38:03,813 No! 1258 00:38:03,815 --> 00:38:04,781 No! 1259 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:06,750 I need a good toss from you, honey. 1260 00:38:06,752 --> 00:38:07,752 Take five. 1261 00:38:12,391 --> 00:38:13,923 Hey, you came. 1262 00:38:13,925 --> 00:38:15,992 You know, I thought that this was gonna like an ironic thing. 1263 00:38:15,994 --> 00:38:18,461 But you guys really take this seriously, huh? 1264 00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:20,397 Yeah, some of us more than others. 1265 00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:23,300 You should stretch before we start. 1266 00:38:23,302 --> 00:38:25,235 I'm not kidding. you will thank me later, OK? 1267 00:38:25,237 --> 00:38:26,036 OK. 1268 00:38:26,038 --> 00:38:27,038 Yeah, stretch. 1269 00:38:39,685 --> 00:38:40,583 Jesus. 1270 00:38:40,585 --> 00:38:41,585 Hey. 1271 00:38:44,690 --> 00:38:46,856 What the hell are you doing here, man? 1272 00:38:46,858 --> 00:38:48,992 Just trying something new. 1273 00:38:48,994 --> 00:38:50,360 What are you doing? 1274 00:38:50,362 --> 00:38:54,698 I always wanted to be a part of my office kickball league. 1275 00:38:54,700 --> 00:38:55,732 It's one of my dreams. 1276 00:38:55,734 --> 00:38:56,633 So here I am. 1277 00:38:56,635 --> 00:38:57,934 Heh. 1278 00:38:57,936 --> 00:39:00,337 But unlike you, I'm... I'm doing it with some dignity. 1279 00:39:00,339 --> 00:39:03,340 You're wearing jean shorts to a kickball game? 1280 00:39:03,342 --> 00:39:04,207 I mean, heh-heh. 1281 00:39:04,209 --> 00:39:05,575 You know what? 1282 00:39:05,577 --> 00:39:07,177 I just kind of decided I... I was too old to have jeans with 1283 00:39:07,179 --> 00:39:09,479 holes in them, and I just... 1284 00:39:09,481 --> 00:39:10,580 Oh, my god. 1285 00:39:10,582 --> 00:39:12,015 Yeah? 1286 00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:13,783 These were your cool jeans. 1287 00:39:13,785 --> 00:39:16,753 Your amazing cool jeans that I worship that 1288 00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:19,189 had the most perfect hole right in the knee... 1289 00:39:19,191 --> 00:39:20,690 A hole that you earned. 1290 00:39:20,692 --> 00:39:24,194 You cut those jeans into jean shorts? 1291 00:39:24,196 --> 00:39:25,328 Who are you, man? 1292 00:39:25,330 --> 00:39:27,230 I don't... I don't know who you are. 1293 00:39:27,232 --> 00:39:28,631 It's really not a big deal, man. 1294 00:39:28,633 --> 00:39:30,333 I don't know why... why you're getting all bent out of shape. 1295 00:39:30,335 --> 00:39:33,570 Yeah, well, just so you know, OK, whenever I close my eyes, 1296 00:39:33,572 --> 00:39:35,972 I'm going to picture you in your cool jeans. 1297 00:39:35,974 --> 00:39:36,840 OK. 1298 00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:39,976 Not any fucking jean shorts, OK? 1299 00:39:39,978 --> 00:39:40,944 How about this? 1300 00:39:40,946 --> 00:39:42,379 Uh, we're broken up, and we actually 1301 00:39:42,381 --> 00:39:43,980 shouldn't be talking, much less closing our eyes 1302 00:39:43,982 --> 00:39:44,981 and thinking about each other. 1303 00:39:44,983 --> 00:39:46,182 That's super fucking weird. 1304 00:39:46,184 --> 00:39:47,650 Well, here's the other thing about my mind, man. 1305 00:39:47,652 --> 00:39:49,519 I don't really care about your stupid little contract. 1306 00:39:49,521 --> 00:39:50,487 OK. 1307 00:39:50,489 --> 00:39:52,222 In my mind, I don't care about it. 1308 00:39:52,224 --> 00:39:54,057 Well, in my mind, I care about the contract. 1309 00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:55,358 So how do you explain that? 1310 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,961 Well, in my mind, we're not talking about that at all. 1311 00:39:57,963 --> 00:40:00,463 We're continuing the conversation about the jeans. 1312 00:40:00,465 --> 00:40:02,766 In my mind, the conversation shifted into a different thing. 1313 00:40:02,768 --> 00:40:03,867 Well, in my mind, it didn't. 1314 00:40:03,869 --> 00:40:06,202 In my mind, it's about, uh, 20 minutes long. 1315 00:40:06,204 --> 00:40:08,805 And in the midst of that conversation in my mind, 1316 00:40:08,807 --> 00:40:12,842 you apologize for cutting your jeans into stupid fucking jean 1317 00:40:12,844 --> 00:40:14,144 shorts. 1318 00:40:14,146 --> 00:40:16,646 And then also in my mind, I don't accept your apology. 1319 00:40:16,648 --> 00:40:18,681 I don't accept your apology in my mind! 1320 00:40:18,683 --> 00:40:20,183 Well, in my mind, you accepted the apology. 1321 00:40:20,185 --> 00:40:22,752 You... you totally graciously accept the apology. 1322 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:24,187 And you were even a little bit... you bowed. 1323 00:40:24,189 --> 00:40:25,522 You were a little bit Japanese about it. 1324 00:40:25,524 --> 00:40:26,322 How's that? 1325 00:40:26,324 --> 00:40:27,390 [yells gibberish] 1326 00:40:32,297 --> 00:40:33,096 Jesus. 1327 00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:35,231 Howie! 1328 00:40:35,233 --> 00:40:36,032 What are you doing? 1329 00:40:36,034 --> 00:40:36,933 MAN: Oh! 1330 00:40:36,935 --> 00:40:37,734 Hey! 1331 00:40:37,736 --> 00:40:39,135 What the hell, man? 1332 00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:41,171 Where are you going? 1333 00:40:41,173 --> 00:40:42,605 Howie? 1334 00:40:42,607 --> 00:40:44,240 Howie? 1335 00:40:44,242 --> 00:40:46,443 [chatter] 1336 00:40:49,714 --> 00:40:50,714 I got it! 1337 00:40:54,186 --> 00:40:55,718 -Hey, man, how's it going? -You're not gonna run to second? 1338 00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:56,686 Huh? No. 1339 00:40:56,688 --> 00:40:57,420 No, no, no. I'm not gonna do that. 1340 00:40:57,422 --> 00:40:58,354 Oh. 1341 00:40:58,356 --> 00:40:59,856 Hey, I'm sorry about before, man. 1342 00:40:59,858 --> 00:41:00,957 Yeah, don't worry about it, man. 1343 00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:01,758 It's all good. 1344 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:02,625 Hey, hey, hey. 1345 00:41:02,627 --> 00:41:03,526 We don't want to make this weird. 1346 00:41:03,528 --> 00:41:04,994 No, of course not. Yeah. 1347 00:41:04,996 --> 00:41:05,996 Thank you. 1348 00:41:17,108 --> 00:41:17,907 Woo! 1349 00:41:17,909 --> 00:41:21,311 That's game, you guys. 1350 00:41:21,313 --> 00:41:22,412 Hey, Beth, thanks for today. 1351 00:41:22,414 --> 00:41:23,480 That was fun. -Yeah! 1352 00:41:23,482 --> 00:41:24,280 Yeah. 1353 00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:25,315 Yeah. 1354 00:41:25,317 --> 00:41:26,850 Um, are you going to come to Big Wangs? 1355 00:41:26,852 --> 00:41:27,851 Oh, Wangers? 1356 00:41:27,853 --> 00:41:29,319 You... you guys are going to Wangers? 1357 00:41:29,321 --> 00:41:30,220 Heh. 1358 00:41:30,222 --> 00:41:31,221 Nobody calls it that. 1359 00:41:31,223 --> 00:41:32,689 But yeah, we go every Saturday. 1360 00:41:32,691 --> 00:41:33,490 Cool. 1361 00:41:33,492 --> 00:41:34,492 Yeah, I'm in. 1362 00:41:40,532 --> 00:41:43,433 [cheering] 1363 00:41:43,435 --> 00:41:44,734 BETH: I knew it. 1364 00:41:44,736 --> 00:41:47,103 I mean, deep down, you know it's an athletic ability. 1365 00:41:47,105 --> 00:41:48,838 I mean, I haven't kicked a ball since eighth grade, 1366 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:49,973 but I've been competitive-drinking 1367 00:41:49,975 --> 00:41:51,040 since ninth. 1368 00:41:51,042 --> 00:41:52,342 Hi. 1369 00:41:52,344 --> 00:41:54,677 Sorry to interrupt, but did you lose a business card? 1370 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:55,879 No I don't... 1371 00:41:55,881 --> 00:41:58,548 No, you didn't, because that one's mine. 1372 00:41:58,550 --> 00:42:01,484 Call me. 1373 00:42:01,486 --> 00:42:02,452 That's a good move, man. 1374 00:42:02,454 --> 00:42:03,253 I got to do that. 1375 00:42:03,255 --> 00:42:04,687 Perhaps some business cards. 1376 00:42:04,689 --> 00:42:06,689 Holy shit, dude. 1377 00:42:06,691 --> 00:42:08,925 Adam! 1378 00:42:08,927 --> 00:42:09,759 You two know each other? 1379 00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:11,928 Uh, I mean... 1380 00:42:11,930 --> 00:42:13,263 Shit, yeah, we do. 1381 00:42:13,265 --> 00:42:15,265 This is Adam Bomb right here. 1382 00:42:15,267 --> 00:42:16,199 Right, Adam Bomb. 1383 00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:17,066 Adam Bomb! 1384 00:42:17,068 --> 00:42:18,034 Like the bomb. 1385 00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:19,736 Adam Bomb, like the atom bomb, dude. 1386 00:42:19,738 --> 00:42:20,937 Exactly. 1387 00:42:20,939 --> 00:42:21,971 Great to see you, man. 1388 00:42:21,973 --> 00:42:23,106 You gonna introduce me to your friend? 1389 00:42:23,108 --> 00:42:24,741 Uh, Beth, Butler. 1390 00:42:24,743 --> 00:42:25,542 Hi. 1391 00:42:25,544 --> 00:42:27,677 It's very nice to meet you. 1392 00:42:27,679 --> 00:42:28,978 Butler's not my first name, though. 1393 00:42:28,980 --> 00:42:30,246 I only give my first name out to women 1394 00:42:30,248 --> 00:42:32,015 I'm about to have sex with. 1395 00:42:32,017 --> 00:42:35,485 It's Andrew. 1396 00:42:35,487 --> 00:42:36,486 Wow. 1397 00:42:36,488 --> 00:42:38,955 I'm going to go to the ladies' room. 1398 00:42:38,957 --> 00:42:40,890 Want to meet me back there? 1399 00:42:40,892 --> 00:42:41,691 Don't knock, you know? 1400 00:42:41,693 --> 00:42:43,526 Just... just blaze right in. 1401 00:42:43,528 --> 00:42:45,862 I absolutely will. 1402 00:42:45,864 --> 00:42:47,630 God, that's never actually worked before. 1403 00:42:47,632 --> 00:42:49,032 -Right. -Shit, man. 1404 00:42:49,034 --> 00:42:50,533 So how's it been going since high school? 1405 00:42:50,535 --> 00:42:51,868 Do people still call you Adam Bomb? 1406 00:42:51,870 --> 00:42:53,503 Uh, no. 1407 00:42:53,505 --> 00:42:54,837 Nobody really called me that but you. 1408 00:42:54,839 --> 00:42:55,672 No, man, no. 1409 00:42:55,674 --> 00:42:56,773 Other people called you that. 1410 00:42:56,775 --> 00:42:58,508 Well, you bullied them into that. 1411 00:42:58,510 --> 00:42:59,776 -Yeah. -Yeah. 1412 00:42:59,778 --> 00:43:00,944 Shit, man, I was good at that. 1413 00:43:00,946 --> 00:43:02,579 Good at... there's no good at bullying, really. 1414 00:43:02,581 --> 00:43:03,613 It's just bad. 1415 00:43:03,615 --> 00:43:04,480 No, you can be good at bullying, man. 1416 00:43:04,482 --> 00:43:05,448 -Yeah? -Oh, hello. 1417 00:43:05,450 --> 00:43:06,849 Were you the guy that ordered these? 1418 00:43:06,851 --> 00:43:07,650 Yes, I was. 1419 00:43:07,652 --> 00:43:08,451 Thank you very much. 1420 00:43:08,453 --> 00:43:09,419 Oh, my... oh. 1421 00:43:09,421 --> 00:43:10,653 Oh, shit. 1422 00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:13,022 My god, I am so sorry, ma'am. 1423 00:43:13,024 --> 00:43:13,856 I didn't mean to... 1424 00:43:13,858 --> 00:43:15,758 Oh, my god. 1425 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,360 I totally meant to do that. 1426 00:43:17,362 --> 00:43:18,595 That was for you, buddy. 1427 00:43:18,597 --> 00:43:19,395 What? 1428 00:43:19,397 --> 00:43:20,330 I saw some nipple in there. 1429 00:43:20,332 --> 00:43:21,331 Did you see some nipple? 1430 00:43:21,333 --> 00:43:22,599 I wasn't really looking at her nipples. 1431 00:43:22,601 --> 00:43:23,566 I totally saw a nipple. 1432 00:43:23,568 --> 00:43:24,601 Hey, check it out. 1433 00:43:24,603 --> 00:43:25,935 I'm gonna leave this one here for you. 1434 00:43:25,937 --> 00:43:27,670 I only get two so I can come 'em on the ladies. 1435 00:43:27,672 --> 00:43:29,072 -Oh. -Great to see you, man. 1436 00:43:29,074 --> 00:43:29,872 Look. 1437 00:43:29,874 --> 00:43:31,641 Butler and the Bomb, man. 1438 00:43:31,643 --> 00:43:32,775 We have got to hang out. 1439 00:43:32,777 --> 00:43:33,876 That's my information. 1440 00:43:33,878 --> 00:43:35,111 You give me a call. 1441 00:43:35,113 --> 00:43:36,579 I'm gonna go to the bathroom, because I don't know 1442 00:43:36,581 --> 00:43:38,481 if your lady friend was kidding about wanting to fuck me, 1443 00:43:38,483 --> 00:43:39,949 but I am not going to take that chance, OK? 1444 00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:40,750 OK. 1445 00:43:40,752 --> 00:43:41,718 Great seeing you. 1446 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:43,186 Oh, Jesus. 1447 00:43:43,188 --> 00:43:45,722 Fuck. 1448 00:43:45,724 --> 00:43:46,556 BETH: Is the coast clear? 1449 00:43:46,558 --> 00:43:47,991 ADAM: Yeah, you're safe. 1450 00:43:47,993 --> 00:43:49,158 That was weird. 1451 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:50,226 Yep. 1452 00:43:50,228 --> 00:43:52,662 You should totally hang out with that guy. 1453 00:43:52,664 --> 00:43:53,496 He's got a great card. 1454 00:43:53,498 --> 00:43:54,464 I don't know. 1455 00:43:54,466 --> 00:43:55,598 I've done some awful things, but I 1456 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:56,866 don't think I could ever be as douchey 1457 00:43:56,868 --> 00:43:59,035 as one of those finance guys. 1458 00:43:59,037 --> 00:44:00,970 You know Justin's in finance, right? 1459 00:44:00,972 --> 00:44:01,771 Oh. 1460 00:44:01,773 --> 00:44:02,605 Yeah. 1461 00:44:02,607 --> 00:44:04,507 I mean, they're not all douches. 1462 00:44:04,509 --> 00:44:05,308 I was just... 1463 00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:06,175 No, they are. 1464 00:44:06,177 --> 00:44:07,177 All of them. 1465 00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:31,067 [phone chimes] 1466 00:44:31,069 --> 00:44:32,068 'Sup? 1467 00:44:32,070 --> 00:44:32,869 Hmm? 1468 00:44:32,871 --> 00:44:34,070 We're texting Barrett now? 1469 00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:38,441 How the hell did you know? 1470 00:44:38,443 --> 00:44:39,876 Well, I mean, I'm the best. 1471 00:44:39,878 --> 00:44:40,910 I'm a mind reader. 1472 00:44:40,912 --> 00:44:42,979 And I also took your phone and changed 1473 00:44:42,981 --> 00:44:44,847 all the guys' numbers to mine, 'cause I 1474 00:44:44,849 --> 00:44:46,449 knew you were gonna crack. 1475 00:44:46,451 --> 00:44:47,850 Oh, come on. 1476 00:44:47,852 --> 00:44:49,419 It was a moment of weakness, all right? 1477 00:44:49,421 --> 00:44:50,520 It won't happen again. 1478 00:44:50,522 --> 00:44:52,355 OK. 1479 00:44:52,357 --> 00:44:53,756 And who texts "'sup" anyway? 1480 00:44:53,758 --> 00:44:55,725 What are you, 15? 1481 00:44:55,727 --> 00:44:56,859 So what's going on? 1482 00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:58,327 Do you not know what to do with yourself? 1483 00:44:58,329 --> 00:45:00,430 Uh, I don't know. 1484 00:45:00,432 --> 00:45:01,998 You need to try new things. 1485 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,132 You need to meet new people. 1486 00:45:03,134 --> 00:45:06,369 Have you tried anything new since the breakup? 1487 00:45:06,371 --> 00:45:07,737 Yeah, I played kickball. 1488 00:45:07,739 --> 00:45:09,305 OK. 1489 00:45:09,307 --> 00:45:10,339 I fed a tiger. 1490 00:45:10,341 --> 00:45:11,140 Good! 1491 00:45:11,142 --> 00:45:12,375 Good, that's something. 1492 00:45:12,377 --> 00:45:13,676 You would've never gone to the zoo 1493 00:45:13,678 --> 00:45:17,046 if you were still hanging out... never mind, I got it. 1494 00:45:17,048 --> 00:45:18,114 We should make a list. 1495 00:45:18,116 --> 00:45:20,817 Uh, I'm not really a list guy, you know? 1496 00:45:20,819 --> 00:45:22,852 Adam. 1497 00:45:22,854 --> 00:45:23,653 OK. 1498 00:45:23,655 --> 00:45:26,556 Uh, let's make a list. 1499 00:45:26,558 --> 00:45:27,890 I'm proud of myself. 1500 00:45:27,892 --> 00:45:29,192 This list is coming along really well. 1501 00:45:29,194 --> 00:45:31,661 We got "get contacts," 'cause you need 'em. 1502 00:45:31,663 --> 00:45:33,129 Get shirts that fit. 1503 00:45:33,131 --> 00:45:35,064 And, uh, get off our family plan, man. 1504 00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:36,299 You're 30 years old. 1505 00:45:36,301 --> 00:45:37,667 ADAM: Yeah. 1506 00:45:37,669 --> 00:45:39,302 Oh, also, I want you to put down "have a threesome," too, 1507 00:45:39,304 --> 00:45:41,270 because if I have to put down and figure out what I'm going 1508 00:45:41,272 --> 00:45:42,939 to do with my life, then I want to have something 1509 00:45:42,941 --> 00:45:44,107 to look forward to as well. -I'll put down threesome. 1510 00:45:44,109 --> 00:45:45,575 Why are... what are we doing here? 1511 00:45:45,577 --> 00:45:46,476 Here you go. 1512 00:45:46,478 --> 00:45:49,078 DAVID: Thanks. 1513 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,079 ADAM: Oh, my god. 1514 00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:53,116 That... I love this. 1515 00:45:53,118 --> 00:45:55,084 Do you have to display them like we're... 1516 00:45:55,086 --> 00:45:56,152 What is this? 1517 00:45:56,154 --> 00:45:57,954 [laughing] 1518 00:45:57,956 --> 00:45:59,655 That's so cute, dude! 1519 00:45:59,657 --> 00:46:00,490 Look at this. 1520 00:46:00,492 --> 00:46:02,525 You're so cute here, for real. 1521 00:46:02,527 --> 00:46:04,193 That's the cutest thing I've ever seen. 1522 00:46:04,195 --> 00:46:06,395 This looks like it would be on the back of a... like, 1523 00:46:06,397 --> 00:46:07,797 on a Spanish textbook. 1524 00:46:07,799 --> 00:46:10,299 And this is how you'd learn the word "happy" for Spanish. 1525 00:46:10,301 --> 00:46:12,468 I want to get 70 of these and line my wall in then so when 1526 00:46:12,470 --> 00:46:13,603 I wake up I'm super happy. 1527 00:46:13,605 --> 00:46:14,845 Do not put that on my account. 1528 00:46:18,510 --> 00:46:19,342 BETH: Hey. 1529 00:46:19,344 --> 00:46:20,510 Hey, what's up? Hi, Beth. 1530 00:46:20,512 --> 00:46:21,911 Good morning. -Morning. 1531 00:46:21,913 --> 00:46:23,346 What are you, uh... what are you working on? 1532 00:46:23,348 --> 00:46:25,047 Uh, if I tell you about it, you promise you're 1533 00:46:25,049 --> 00:46:25,982 not going to laugh at me? 1534 00:46:25,984 --> 00:46:26,916 No. 1535 00:46:26,918 --> 00:46:28,317 OK, deal. 1536 00:46:28,319 --> 00:46:30,620 I'm not allowed to post on any of our fantasy message boards 1537 00:46:30,622 --> 00:46:31,921 anymore. 1538 00:46:31,923 --> 00:46:33,322 So I just kind of started this thing where I... I mean, 1539 00:46:33,324 --> 00:46:35,158 I guess it's a blog... where I just write about sports... 1540 00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:36,159 Like baseball, football. 1541 00:46:36,161 --> 00:46:36,993 Lacrosse. 1542 00:46:36,995 --> 00:46:37,994 Well, no, not lacrosse. 1543 00:46:37,996 --> 00:46:39,128 People don't give a shit about that. 1544 00:46:39,130 --> 00:46:40,897 But yeah, it's just like for fun. 1545 00:46:40,899 --> 00:46:42,799 Like, I just write it to get it out of my brain. 1546 00:46:42,801 --> 00:46:44,433 I mean, nobody really sees it. 1547 00:46:44,435 --> 00:46:46,169 Well, we should fix that. 1548 00:46:46,171 --> 00:46:48,137 OK. 1549 00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:50,673 Um, you need, like, keywords. 1550 00:46:50,675 --> 00:46:54,610 Like, Lakers, Yankees, boobs. 1551 00:46:54,612 --> 00:46:55,611 Oh, yeah. 1552 00:46:55,613 --> 00:46:56,546 I don't know about what you're doing, 1553 00:46:56,548 --> 00:46:57,880 but I was going to suggest boobs. 1554 00:46:57,882 --> 00:46:59,615 Yeah, because you can never go wrong with boobs, right? 1555 00:46:59,617 --> 00:47:00,449 Right. 1556 00:47:00,451 --> 00:47:01,951 Well, that should... should help. 1557 00:47:01,953 --> 00:47:02,752 Oh, wait. 1558 00:47:02,754 --> 00:47:05,087 One second. 1559 00:47:05,089 --> 00:47:05,888 What are you doing now? 1560 00:47:05,890 --> 00:47:07,723 Just emailed it to myself. 1561 00:47:07,725 --> 00:47:08,925 Oh, nice. 1562 00:47:08,927 --> 00:47:10,459 I grew up with some pretty die-hard Niners fans, 1563 00:47:10,461 --> 00:47:12,428 so I thought I'd send it to them to see if you actually 1564 00:47:12,430 --> 00:47:13,529 know what you're talking about. 1565 00:47:13,531 --> 00:47:14,531 OK. 1566 00:47:22,140 --> 00:47:23,272 Hi. 1567 00:47:23,274 --> 00:47:24,540 Hi. 1568 00:47:24,542 --> 00:47:26,976 Uh, hey, so thanks for setting me up with Krista, but... 1569 00:47:26,978 --> 00:47:28,344 Oh yeah, whatever, she's crazy. 1570 00:47:28,346 --> 00:47:30,580 Hey, have you spoken to Barrett? 1571 00:47:30,582 --> 00:47:32,748 Uh, as a matter of fact, no, I haven't 1572 00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:33,749 talked to Barrett at all. 1573 00:47:33,751 --> 00:47:34,584 Oh. 1574 00:47:34,586 --> 00:47:36,052 That's good. 1575 00:47:36,054 --> 00:47:37,753 He's just a hard guy to get a hold of right now. 1576 00:47:37,755 --> 00:47:38,754 OK, cool. Talk to you later. 1577 00:47:38,756 --> 00:47:39,756 Bye! 1578 00:48:03,915 --> 00:48:06,182 Look, I feel really guilty meeting up with you like this, 1579 00:48:06,184 --> 00:48:07,384 but I really have no choice. 1580 00:48:09,921 --> 00:48:11,587 You followed? 1581 00:48:11,589 --> 00:48:13,422 No, I don't think so. 1582 00:48:13,424 --> 00:48:14,357 Can't be too sure. 1583 00:48:14,359 --> 00:48:17,326 We should probably speak in code. 1584 00:48:17,328 --> 00:48:20,563 The black scorpion awaits in the dark. 1585 00:48:20,565 --> 00:48:23,299 What... what are you talking about? 1586 00:48:23,301 --> 00:48:25,668 Is this about the man in the green beret? 1587 00:48:25,670 --> 00:48:26,535 Who? 1588 00:48:26,537 --> 00:48:27,837 Dude, you texted secret meeting. 1589 00:48:27,839 --> 00:48:29,105 I thought that means we speak in code, 1590 00:48:29,107 --> 00:48:30,106 like some bad-ass spy shit. 1591 00:48:30,108 --> 00:48:31,207 OK, but you got to be more specific. 1592 00:48:31,209 --> 00:48:32,675 I don't know about that shit... spy shit. 1593 00:48:32,677 --> 00:48:33,676 -Come on. -Why? 1594 00:48:33,678 --> 00:48:35,311 Is that why you look like Bruno Mars? 1595 00:48:35,313 --> 00:48:36,178 It's kind of a good look. 1596 00:48:36,180 --> 00:48:37,747 Oh, no. 1597 00:48:37,749 --> 00:48:38,547 Anyways, what's up? 1598 00:48:38,549 --> 00:48:39,382 Well, look. 1599 00:48:39,384 --> 00:48:40,816 There's this girl at work, Beth. 1600 00:48:40,818 --> 00:48:42,585 And she's been unusually flirty lately. 1601 00:48:42,587 --> 00:48:45,121 And I just... I think recently, she 1602 00:48:45,123 --> 00:48:46,322 broke up with her boyfriend. 1603 00:48:46,324 --> 00:48:49,725 And I just don't... I don't know what I should do. 1604 00:48:49,727 --> 00:48:51,460 OK, so you like her? 1605 00:48:51,462 --> 00:48:53,896 Uh, I don't know, man. 1606 00:48:53,898 --> 00:48:55,932 I mean, yeah, she's like the perfect girl, you know? 1607 00:48:55,934 --> 00:48:57,633 She's... she's smart. 1608 00:48:57,635 --> 00:48:58,634 She's huge. 1609 00:48:58,636 --> 00:48:59,835 She looks great in a pair of shorts. 1610 00:48:59,837 --> 00:49:00,937 That's good. 1611 00:49:00,939 --> 00:49:02,004 Sometimes when I have to make a decision, 1612 00:49:02,006 --> 00:49:03,139 I'll think about what Beth, would maybe 1613 00:49:03,141 --> 00:49:04,674 think the right decision was, and then I would 1614 00:49:04,676 --> 00:49:05,975 gear my decision towards that. 1615 00:49:05,977 --> 00:49:07,510 The other day, I was at this crosswalk. 1616 00:49:07,512 --> 00:49:09,378 And I was waiting to cross the street. 1617 00:49:09,380 --> 00:49:12,281 And I caught myself daydreaming just about her laugh 1618 00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:14,884 and about how cute Christmas year her voice was. 1619 00:49:14,886 --> 00:49:19,355 And I just... I totally missed two walk signals. 1620 00:49:19,357 --> 00:49:20,456 I don't know. 1621 00:49:20,458 --> 00:49:21,257 If you're asking me now, I guess I haven't 1622 00:49:21,259 --> 00:49:22,458 really thought about it. 1623 00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:24,700 So I just... I don't really have an answer for you. 1624 00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:29,298 OK. 1625 00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:31,467 Christmasy voice, huh? 1626 00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:32,969 Here's what you got to do. 1627 00:49:32,971 --> 00:49:35,037 If she's newly single, that means 1628 00:49:35,039 --> 00:49:38,307 you're not the only guy waiting in the wings ready to pounce. 1629 00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:39,709 You got to make a bold move. 1630 00:49:39,711 --> 00:49:43,012 Can't just be another shoulder for her to cry on. 1631 00:49:43,014 --> 00:49:45,514 Not if you want her to pounce on something else. 1632 00:49:45,516 --> 00:49:46,615 I'm talking about your penis. 1633 00:49:46,617 --> 00:49:47,683 No, I know. 1634 00:49:47,685 --> 00:49:48,784 There's really no other way to take that. 1635 00:49:48,786 --> 00:49:50,252 You're homophobic if you don't hold my hand. 1636 00:49:50,254 --> 00:49:51,787 You're homophobic if you don't hold my hand. 1637 00:49:51,789 --> 00:49:52,955 Do I look like I've gained weight? 1638 00:49:52,957 --> 00:49:54,223 Yeah. 1639 00:49:54,225 --> 00:49:55,358 -Whoa! -Whoa! 1640 00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:56,492 Whoa, whoa! 1641 00:49:56,494 --> 00:49:57,994 BARRETT: See, I told you we were being followed. 1642 00:49:57,996 --> 00:49:59,428 What the hell are you guys doing together? 1643 00:49:59,430 --> 00:50:02,431 Uh, what the hell are you guys doing together, huh? 1644 00:50:02,433 --> 00:50:03,532 We were having a secret meeting, 1645 00:50:03,534 --> 00:50:04,633 and it was totally Adam's fault! 1646 00:50:04,635 --> 00:50:05,434 Hey. 1647 00:50:05,436 --> 00:50:06,402 Aha! 1648 00:50:06,404 --> 00:50:07,603 Don't "aha" me. 1649 00:50:07,605 --> 00:50:09,338 You guys are together too, so what's going on? 1650 00:50:09,340 --> 00:50:10,639 Well, we were having a secret meeting 1651 00:50:10,641 --> 00:50:11,540 about your secret meeting. 1652 00:50:11,542 --> 00:50:12,575 Oh, really? 1653 00:50:12,577 --> 00:50:13,976 And how the fuck did you guys find out? 1654 00:50:13,978 --> 00:50:17,046 Because Barrett tweeted, "Super secret meeting, 1655 00:50:17,048 --> 00:50:18,948 undisclosed location. 1656 00:50:18,950 --> 00:50:21,617 Spy, bad-ass style." 1657 00:50:21,619 --> 00:50:23,853 140 characters, got it in. 1658 00:50:23,855 --> 00:50:25,421 Why are you following me on Twitter still? 1659 00:50:25,423 --> 00:50:26,288 We broke up. 1660 00:50:26,290 --> 00:50:27,189 MOOK: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1661 00:50:27,191 --> 00:50:28,858 We're so broken up. 1662 00:50:28,860 --> 00:50:29,859 I trusted you, Adam. 1663 00:50:29,861 --> 00:50:30,860 I trusted you! 1664 00:50:30,862 --> 00:50:31,727 All right, don't make that about trust. 1665 00:50:31,729 --> 00:50:32,561 No, no, no. -No, come on, no. 1666 00:50:32,563 --> 00:50:33,696 HOWIE: No, you knew. 1667 00:50:33,698 --> 00:50:35,798 You know, know, know, know, know, know, know. 1668 00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:37,633 [interposing voices] 1669 00:50:37,635 --> 00:50:38,534 Hey, hey! Stop! 1670 00:50:38,536 --> 00:50:39,335 Look! 1671 00:50:39,337 --> 00:50:40,336 Listen! 1672 00:50:40,338 --> 00:50:41,771 We all know, know, know, know, know. 1673 00:50:41,773 --> 00:50:42,571 OK? 1674 00:50:42,573 --> 00:50:43,773 But look. 1675 00:50:43,775 --> 00:50:45,174 We made a mistake. 1676 00:50:45,176 --> 00:50:47,777 But we're all guilty. 1677 00:50:47,779 --> 00:50:48,778 Yes. 1678 00:50:48,780 --> 00:50:52,415 [saying "yeah" repeatedly] 1679 00:50:52,417 --> 00:50:53,215 Yes, yeah, yeah. 1680 00:50:53,217 --> 00:50:54,016 OK. 1681 00:50:54,018 --> 00:50:55,184 I get you, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1682 00:50:55,186 --> 00:50:56,585 All right, so what do we do now? 1683 00:50:56,587 --> 00:50:57,987 Well, we don't tell David about it. 1684 00:50:57,989 --> 00:50:59,088 That's for sure. 1685 00:50:59,090 --> 00:51:01,657 It's best that David stays out of it, right? 1686 00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:02,658 ADAM: Right. 1687 00:51:02,660 --> 00:51:03,660 BARRETT: Yeah. 1688 00:51:09,467 --> 00:51:10,966 You guys do whatever you gotta do. 1689 00:51:10,968 --> 00:51:12,334 Excuse me, boys. 1690 00:51:12,336 --> 00:51:13,436 -Where are you going? -Barrett. 1691 00:51:13,438 --> 00:51:14,638 Barrett, where are you going? 1692 00:51:16,841 --> 00:51:17,640 Oh. 1693 00:51:17,642 --> 00:51:19,008 Wow. 1694 00:51:19,010 --> 00:51:20,943 Stay strong, guys, you know? 1695 00:51:20,945 --> 00:51:23,546 Just... we don't need to go in there. 1696 00:51:23,548 --> 00:51:25,514 This is wrong. 1697 00:51:25,516 --> 00:51:27,516 This is so wrong. 1698 00:51:27,518 --> 00:51:28,984 Oh. 1699 00:51:28,986 --> 00:51:30,486 Mook. 1700 00:51:30,488 --> 00:51:31,587 Barrett, [inaudible]. 1701 00:51:31,589 --> 00:51:33,989 I'm gonna walk over there, man, you know? 1702 00:51:33,991 --> 00:51:37,593 Just walk over there, see what happens. 1703 00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:39,895 Howie. 1704 00:51:39,897 --> 00:51:41,330 Fuckin'... Howie. 1705 00:51:43,968 --> 00:51:44,968 Oh. 1706 00:51:53,544 --> 00:51:54,710 Hey, guys. What's up? 1707 00:51:54,712 --> 00:51:55,811 -Hey. -Hi. 1708 00:51:55,813 --> 00:51:57,113 I haven't seen you forever. How you been? 1709 00:51:57,115 --> 00:51:58,047 Ugh. 1710 00:51:58,049 --> 00:51:59,648 It's good to see you back together. 1711 00:51:59,650 --> 00:52:00,716 Oh, we're not back together. 1712 00:52:00,718 --> 00:52:01,517 We're just kinda... 1713 00:52:01,519 --> 00:52:03,018 Nah, no, we just got drunk. 1714 00:52:03,020 --> 00:52:06,255 Yeah, I don't know if I'm... I'm ready to just 1715 00:52:06,257 --> 00:52:07,656 dive back in again, you know? 1716 00:52:11,295 --> 00:52:12,695 OK. 1717 00:52:12,697 --> 00:52:17,032 So are we back together again? 1718 00:52:17,034 --> 00:52:19,969 Oh, well, well, well, well, well. 1719 00:52:19,971 --> 00:52:21,303 David, this isn't what it looks like. 1720 00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:22,705 DAVID: Really, Howie? 1721 00:52:22,707 --> 00:52:24,540 Because it looks to me like you guys all went out last night, 1722 00:52:24,542 --> 00:52:25,741 got shit hammered, and now you're 1723 00:52:25,743 --> 00:52:27,243 eating breakfast in the same filthy clothes 1724 00:52:27,245 --> 00:52:28,410 you were wearing the night before. 1725 00:52:28,412 --> 00:52:30,446 How did you... how do you know we're here? 1726 00:52:30,448 --> 00:52:33,816 Well, when you guys broke up, I got this made up. 1727 00:52:33,818 --> 00:52:36,185 Gave it to all the bars around town. 1728 00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:37,019 Really? 1729 00:52:37,021 --> 00:52:38,787 I look awesome in this photo. 1730 00:52:38,789 --> 00:52:40,489 ADAM: Yeah, it's a good photo. 1731 00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,057 Who ratted? 1732 00:52:42,059 --> 00:52:43,425 DAVID: Pretty much all of them. 1733 00:52:43,427 --> 00:52:46,128 You guys must have had a crazy night last night. 1734 00:52:46,130 --> 00:52:48,097 And also the fact that someone texted 1735 00:52:48,099 --> 00:52:49,865 me a picture of their scrotum at 5:00 in the morning 1736 00:52:49,867 --> 00:52:51,100 didn't really help matters. 1737 00:52:51,102 --> 00:52:51,901 Whose scrotum? 1738 00:52:51,903 --> 00:52:52,735 I don't know, Mook. 1739 00:52:52,737 --> 00:52:54,170 It wasn't wearing a name tag. 1740 00:52:54,172 --> 00:52:55,437 Look, guys. 1741 00:52:55,439 --> 00:52:57,706 I understand that this is hard for you. 1742 00:52:57,708 --> 00:52:59,175 Unfortunately, you all should have 1743 00:52:59,177 --> 00:53:00,209 been somewhere else last night. 1744 00:53:00,211 --> 00:53:02,711 Do you just carry the breakup contract 1745 00:53:02,713 --> 00:53:03,846 around with you at all times? 1746 00:53:03,848 --> 00:53:04,647 It's weird. 1747 00:53:04,649 --> 00:53:05,648 It's really weird. 1748 00:53:05,650 --> 00:53:06,849 Well, I'm sorry, you guys. 1749 00:53:06,851 --> 00:53:08,751 But you have to say goodbye to fantasy football. 1750 00:53:08,753 --> 00:53:11,887 All money will be refunded immediately. 1751 00:53:11,889 --> 00:53:14,356 And unfortunately, since this all 1752 00:53:14,358 --> 00:53:16,425 started with a secret meeting... thanks for the tweet, 1753 00:53:16,427 --> 00:53:17,893 Barrett... two violations have occurred. 1754 00:53:17,895 --> 00:53:19,195 Come on, dude. 1755 00:53:19,197 --> 00:53:21,931 I'm sorry to say the place on 9th Street is... is gone. 1756 00:53:21,933 --> 00:53:23,599 And I'm going to give Amanda the jack and jill 1757 00:53:23,601 --> 00:53:24,600 party she's always wanted. 1758 00:53:24,602 --> 00:53:25,834 I hate when you say those words. 1759 00:53:25,836 --> 00:53:26,635 It's discussing. 1760 00:53:26,637 --> 00:53:27,903 It's so fucking lame. 1761 00:53:27,905 --> 00:53:29,772 Stay away from each other, I'm telling you 1762 00:53:29,774 --> 00:53:32,007 guys, because if I catch you one more time, 1763 00:53:32,009 --> 00:53:34,043 you're gonna be paying for booze at my wedding, 1764 00:53:34,045 --> 00:53:36,078 and fantasy baseball will disappear. 1765 00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,913 HOWIE: Oh, you are drunk with power! 1766 00:53:37,915 --> 00:53:38,948 You have a problem! 1767 00:53:38,950 --> 00:53:40,749 Hey, David, guess what. 1768 00:53:40,751 --> 00:53:42,051 That was my scrotum! 1769 00:53:50,161 --> 00:53:51,493 Yeah. 1770 00:53:51,495 --> 00:53:53,829 Heh. 1771 00:53:53,831 --> 00:53:55,431 There you go, bro. 1772 00:53:55,433 --> 00:53:57,933 Just... I'm sorry. 1773 00:53:57,935 --> 00:53:58,734 Oh. 1774 00:53:58,736 --> 00:53:59,535 I'm sorry. 1775 00:53:59,537 --> 00:54:00,869 You-hoo-hoo. 1776 00:54:00,871 --> 00:54:03,105 I almost marked you down for too hungover to consider it. 1777 00:54:03,107 --> 00:54:04,740 Very funny. 1778 00:54:04,742 --> 00:54:06,275 What happened to you last night? 1779 00:54:06,277 --> 00:54:07,576 Well, let's see. 1780 00:54:07,578 --> 00:54:09,245 I went out with some girlfriends. 1781 00:54:09,247 --> 00:54:12,781 We went drinking and dancing. 1782 00:54:12,783 --> 00:54:14,783 And I think I may have done some more drinking. 1783 00:54:14,785 --> 00:54:16,585 I'm not going to Wangers today. 1784 00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:17,553 Oh, yeah. 1785 00:54:17,555 --> 00:54:20,522 Hey, nobody calls it that. 1786 00:54:20,524 --> 00:54:21,690 So you're gonna take it easy? 1787 00:54:21,692 --> 00:54:23,592 Yeah, I... I want to take it easy. 1788 00:54:23,594 --> 00:54:24,593 I could take it easy too. 1789 00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:25,595 What are we doing? 1790 00:54:27,698 --> 00:54:28,497 What are we doing? 1791 00:54:28,499 --> 00:54:29,632 Yeah, me and you. 1792 00:54:29,634 --> 00:54:30,966 We're at a park. 1793 00:54:30,968 --> 00:54:33,202 They got a lot of cool, like, trees we could lay under. 1794 00:54:33,204 --> 00:54:34,737 We could walk around. 1795 00:54:34,739 --> 00:54:36,405 We could go on... rowboats? 1796 00:54:36,407 --> 00:54:37,439 They have rowboats. 1797 00:54:37,441 --> 00:54:38,607 Did you know they have rowboats here? 1798 00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:39,608 That's awesome. 1799 00:54:39,610 --> 00:54:40,643 Let's do that. 1800 00:54:40,645 --> 00:54:41,777 No. 1801 00:54:41,779 --> 00:54:43,212 ADAM: Yeah, for sure. 1802 00:54:43,214 --> 00:54:45,514 We're doing it. 1803 00:54:45,516 --> 00:54:46,548 I guess it does look like fun. 1804 00:54:46,550 --> 00:54:47,383 [kickball hits head] 1805 00:54:47,385 --> 00:54:48,350 Aah, fuck! 1806 00:54:48,352 --> 00:54:50,019 Ha ha ha! 1807 00:54:50,021 --> 00:54:51,854 All right, I think it's your turn to row. 1808 00:54:51,856 --> 00:54:52,588 [chuckles] What? 1809 00:54:52,590 --> 00:54:54,556 We just got out here. 1810 00:54:54,558 --> 00:54:57,426 I know, but it's like it's exercise disguised as fun, 1811 00:54:57,428 --> 00:54:58,727 and I don't like that. 1812 00:54:58,729 --> 00:54:59,662 Oh, guess what. 1813 00:54:59,664 --> 00:55:02,164 My dad is a fan of your blog. 1814 00:55:02,166 --> 00:55:03,032 Oh. 1815 00:55:03,034 --> 00:55:04,466 Cool. You know, it's funny. 1816 00:55:04,468 --> 00:55:06,168 I think that a lot of people are actually reading 1817 00:55:06,170 --> 00:55:07,736 my stuff now because of you. 1818 00:55:07,738 --> 00:55:10,072 No, they're reading it because it's good. 1819 00:55:10,074 --> 00:55:11,707 But you have to keep updating it, 1820 00:55:11,709 --> 00:55:13,208 and then more people will read it. 1821 00:55:13,210 --> 00:55:16,145 I would, but I got... like, I'm really... I'm just so busy, 1822 00:55:16,147 --> 00:55:16,945 you know? 1823 00:55:16,947 --> 00:55:18,747 Like I got, like, uh, work. 1824 00:55:18,749 --> 00:55:21,483 And now, um, I got this rowboat hobby that I'm doing. 1825 00:55:21,485 --> 00:55:24,253 Um, hey, why don't you break up with Justin? 1826 00:55:24,255 --> 00:55:25,487 I'm sorry, what? 1827 00:55:25,489 --> 00:55:26,889 Is it 'cause you... He's, like, the kinda 1828 00:55:26,891 --> 00:55:29,491 guy that doesn't wear a costume at a Halloween party or what? 1829 00:55:29,493 --> 00:55:31,927 No. 1830 00:55:31,929 --> 00:55:32,995 Well, kinda. 1831 00:55:32,997 --> 00:55:34,496 I don't... I don't know. 1832 00:55:34,498 --> 00:55:35,964 Maybe we could hang out sometime. 1833 00:55:35,966 --> 00:55:37,099 I mean, do you like sushi? 1834 00:55:37,101 --> 00:55:38,434 There's a really cool place that opened up. 1835 00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:40,936 I mean, I just broke up with him last week. 1836 00:55:40,938 --> 00:55:42,571 Guess somebody got you already, huh? 1837 00:55:42,573 --> 00:55:43,972 Are you being serious right now? 1838 00:55:43,974 --> 00:55:44,973 I am. 1839 00:55:44,975 --> 00:55:47,076 I just... you know, you're single now. 1840 00:55:47,078 --> 00:55:48,811 And I just felt like it was probably 1841 00:55:48,813 --> 00:55:50,446 a good time to get in there. 1842 00:55:50,448 --> 00:55:51,613 Not in there. 1843 00:55:51,615 --> 00:55:52,548 Not like that. 1844 00:55:52,550 --> 00:55:54,216 But, uh, you know. 1845 00:55:54,218 --> 00:55:56,485 Ever since I've known you, you've... you've just 1846 00:55:56,487 --> 00:55:57,619 gone from guy to guy. 1847 00:55:57,621 --> 00:55:58,554 Heh-heh. 1848 00:55:58,556 --> 00:55:59,521 I don't mean it like that. 1849 00:55:59,523 --> 00:56:00,889 That's a terrible way to say it too. 1850 00:56:00,891 --> 00:56:02,991 Look, I just... it's been a long time 1851 00:56:02,993 --> 00:56:05,561 since I've done something like this in the daylight 1852 00:56:05,563 --> 00:56:06,895 and just sober. 1853 00:56:06,897 --> 00:56:08,464 I've definitely never done it in a rowboat, 1854 00:56:08,466 --> 00:56:10,366 so please cut me some slack. 1855 00:56:10,368 --> 00:56:13,235 You know, while you're not totally off base, 1856 00:56:13,237 --> 00:56:17,306 I guess I've... I've been in relationship after relationship 1857 00:56:17,308 --> 00:56:19,108 ever since college, you know? 1858 00:56:19,110 --> 00:56:20,676 And it's... it's hard to figure out who 1859 00:56:20,678 --> 00:56:22,544 you are as a whole when you've always 1860 00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:24,646 been part of something else. 1861 00:56:24,648 --> 00:56:26,382 Does that make any sense? 1862 00:56:26,384 --> 00:56:27,483 Yeah. 1863 00:56:27,485 --> 00:56:29,752 Uh, I mean, it makes total sense, you know? 1864 00:56:29,754 --> 00:56:31,854 That's why I broke up with my friends. 1865 00:56:31,856 --> 00:56:33,756 With your friends? 1866 00:56:33,758 --> 00:56:36,358 It's just a stupid thing that we're doing, you know? 1867 00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:37,359 Oh, I get it. 1868 00:56:37,361 --> 00:56:38,694 That's where you're playing kickball. 1869 00:56:38,696 --> 00:56:39,762 You're on the rebound. 1870 00:56:39,764 --> 00:56:41,196 Heh-heh. 1871 00:56:41,198 --> 00:56:44,166 So listen, I... I didn't... I didn't mean to screw this up. 1872 00:56:44,168 --> 00:56:47,369 I'm just... look, I like... I like hanging out with you. 1873 00:56:47,371 --> 00:56:49,938 And I like talking to you about stuff. 1874 00:56:49,940 --> 00:56:52,775 And I just figure, I don't know. 1875 00:56:52,777 --> 00:56:54,743 Hey, look, we're both in the same boat, right? 1876 00:56:54,745 --> 00:56:55,577 Oh, my god. 1877 00:56:55,579 --> 00:56:56,779 I know, that was super corny. 1878 00:56:56,781 --> 00:56:58,781 Even when I said it, I knew it was too much, but... 1879 00:56:58,783 --> 00:56:59,782 Oh, my god, Adam. 1880 00:56:59,784 --> 00:57:02,785 There is a guy masturbating over there! 1881 00:57:02,787 --> 00:57:03,685 -Holy shit. -Oh. 1882 00:57:03,687 --> 00:57:04,553 Oh. 1883 00:57:04,555 --> 00:57:05,554 -You dropped the oars? -Paddle. 1884 00:57:05,556 --> 00:57:06,355 Paddle, paddle. 1885 00:57:06,357 --> 00:57:07,756 [groans] 1886 00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:11,293 Hey, you guys. 1887 00:57:11,295 --> 00:57:12,227 How you doing? 1888 00:57:12,229 --> 00:57:13,796 Uh, pretty good. 1889 00:57:13,798 --> 00:57:15,164 How are you, man? 1890 00:57:15,166 --> 00:57:17,666 I'm great. 1891 00:57:17,668 --> 00:57:20,469 You look like a cute couple. 1892 00:57:20,471 --> 00:57:22,137 How long you been together? 1893 00:57:22,139 --> 00:57:23,739 We're not really going out together, you know? 1894 00:57:23,741 --> 00:57:26,341 We just have a, um... She's not really ready. 1895 00:57:26,343 --> 00:57:27,276 She's, uh... 1896 00:57:27,278 --> 00:57:28,377 I'm not... I'm not ready. 1897 00:57:28,379 --> 00:57:31,447 So, um, we can... 1898 00:57:31,449 --> 00:57:33,615 Timing is everything. 1899 00:57:33,617 --> 00:57:36,051 When I first moved out here in my 20s, 1900 00:57:36,053 --> 00:57:39,021 I wanted to go out every night and paint the town red. 1901 00:57:39,023 --> 00:57:41,490 I was dating this girl. 1902 00:57:41,492 --> 00:57:44,226 Her idea of a perfect evening was to stay home with a bottle 1903 00:57:44,228 --> 00:57:47,830 of wine, listen to Johnny Cash. 1904 00:57:47,832 --> 00:57:48,630 Now I'm older. 1905 00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:49,431 Oh, god. 1906 00:57:49,433 --> 00:57:52,267 And that's all I want to do. 1907 00:57:52,269 --> 00:57:55,204 Mm. 1908 00:57:55,206 --> 00:58:00,075 That girl... she's long gone. 1909 00:58:00,077 --> 00:58:01,157 She was the right girl. 1910 00:58:03,581 --> 00:58:04,621 Just the wrong time. 1911 00:58:10,020 --> 00:58:11,820 That's really sad, man. 1912 00:58:11,822 --> 00:58:13,355 That's sad, huh? 1913 00:58:13,357 --> 00:58:14,790 Adam, move the boat! 1914 00:58:14,792 --> 00:58:16,158 Oh, hey. Uh, yeah. 1915 00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:17,392 Thanks, man. 1916 00:58:17,394 --> 00:58:19,161 Uh, so we... we probably got to get out of here, so... 1917 00:58:19,163 --> 00:58:19,962 You need a hand? 1918 00:58:19,964 --> 00:58:20,762 Oh, no, thanks. 1919 00:58:20,764 --> 00:58:22,030 No... no hands. 1920 00:58:22,032 --> 00:58:23,765 Wow, so this guy was just whacking it in plain view? 1921 00:58:23,767 --> 00:58:24,700 Tastes amazing. 1922 00:58:24,702 --> 00:58:25,934 ADAM (ON PHONE): Yeah, he was just 1923 00:58:25,936 --> 00:58:28,737 standing there thumbing his dick, like, all casually 1924 00:58:28,739 --> 00:58:29,805 like he was reading a book. 1925 00:58:29,807 --> 00:58:30,739 Wow. 1926 00:58:30,741 --> 00:58:31,974 You have to admire that, you know? 1927 00:58:31,976 --> 00:58:33,809 Just to be so free. 1928 00:58:33,811 --> 00:58:34,610 I can't imagine. 1929 00:58:34,612 --> 00:58:35,744 I could never do that, you know? 1930 00:58:35,746 --> 00:58:36,845 And I'm engaged now. 1931 00:58:36,847 --> 00:58:38,213 That's probably one thing that I can't do. 1932 00:58:38,215 --> 00:58:40,616 You know, jerk off in public... I probably can't do that. 1933 00:58:40,618 --> 00:58:43,318 Are you nervous about the wedding, man? 1934 00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:44,953 No, not at all. 1935 00:58:44,955 --> 00:58:45,888 Why? I mean, maybe a little. 1936 00:58:45,890 --> 00:58:46,688 Why? 1937 00:58:46,690 --> 00:58:47,923 Where are you? 1938 00:58:47,925 --> 00:58:49,291 Um, I'm actually gonna pick up some food right now. 1939 00:58:49,293 --> 00:58:51,226 Do you want me to bring home dinner for you and Amanda? 1940 00:58:51,228 --> 00:58:52,194 DAVID (ON PHONE): Uh, no, no. 1941 00:58:52,196 --> 00:58:54,229 We're watching our weight. 1942 00:58:54,231 --> 00:58:55,631 Mm! 1943 00:58:55,633 --> 00:58:58,033 And... and hey, could... could you actually not come home tonight? 1944 00:58:58,035 --> 00:59:00,602 Yeah, it's just, we could kinda use the place to ourselves... 1945 00:59:00,604 --> 00:59:01,803 Just the two of us, you know? 1946 00:59:01,805 --> 00:59:03,405 (SARCASTICALLY) Oh, you're such a romantic. 1947 00:59:03,407 --> 00:59:05,140 Yeah, I'll just... I'll stay in my room. 1948 00:59:05,142 --> 00:59:06,441 No, seriously, man. 1949 00:59:06,443 --> 00:59:08,176 We haven't... we haven't had sex since you've moved in. 1950 00:59:08,178 --> 00:59:09,411 It's the truth. 1951 00:59:09,413 --> 00:59:10,846 She can't do it knowing that you're in the next room. 1952 00:59:10,848 --> 00:59:12,347 So please? Just don't come home tonight. 1953 00:59:12,349 --> 00:59:13,582 Just please don't, you know? 1954 00:59:13,584 --> 00:59:15,450 Or just do something else. 1955 00:59:15,452 --> 00:59:16,852 Well, what the hell am I supposed to do? 1956 00:59:16,854 --> 00:59:18,086 I can't even hang out with anybody. 1957 00:59:18,088 --> 00:59:19,288 DAVID (ON PHONE): No, Adam. 1958 00:59:19,290 --> 00:59:20,789 You're not allowed to hang out with three guys, OK? 1959 00:59:20,791 --> 00:59:22,691 So just do something, anything, please. 1960 00:59:22,693 --> 00:59:23,792 I can't talk right now. 1961 00:59:23,794 --> 00:59:25,294 (MOUTH FULL) I'm in the middle of some really 1962 00:59:25,296 --> 00:59:26,395 important wedding shit, OK? 1963 00:59:26,397 --> 00:59:28,397 Babe, the rocky road one? 1964 00:59:28,399 --> 00:59:29,798 Marshmallows in cake? 1965 00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:30,666 (STERNLY) Don't come home. 1966 00:59:30,668 --> 00:59:31,668 All right. 1967 00:59:37,408 --> 00:59:40,776 [music playing] 1968 00:59:44,214 --> 00:59:46,648 Oh, god damn! 1969 00:59:46,650 --> 00:59:48,483 Adam fucking Bomb, man. 1970 00:59:48,485 --> 00:59:50,252 It is so good to have you, man. 1971 00:59:50,254 --> 00:59:51,053 Thanks for calling. 1972 00:59:51,055 --> 00:59:52,387 Yeah, thanks for having me. 1973 00:59:52,389 --> 00:59:53,722 Hey, do you want of this? 1974 00:59:53,724 --> 00:59:54,990 Uh, oh, no, thank you. 1975 00:59:54,992 --> 00:59:55,791 I'm good. 1976 00:59:55,793 --> 00:59:56,758 It's cocaine. 1977 00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:57,926 No, no, I definitely know what it is. 1978 00:59:57,928 --> 00:59:59,328 But I don't... -You don't do cocaine? 1979 00:59:59,330 --> 01:00:00,662 You don't want some of this? -I know. 1980 01:00:00,664 --> 01:00:01,463 Shh. 1981 01:00:01,465 --> 01:00:02,397 Don't... I... I'm all good. 1982 01:00:02,399 --> 01:00:03,398 Thank you. 1983 01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:05,067 This place is fucking awesome, right? 1984 01:00:05,069 --> 01:00:05,867 Yeah, it's pretty good. 1985 01:00:05,869 --> 01:00:06,702 That's Andrea. 1986 01:00:06,704 --> 01:00:07,869 She's a model. 1987 01:00:07,871 --> 01:00:09,137 Very cool. 1988 01:00:09,139 --> 01:00:10,772 I don't know what she models, but her skin is amazing. 1989 01:00:10,774 --> 01:00:11,573 Touch it. 1990 01:00:11,575 --> 01:00:12,407 Oh, no, I can see it. 1991 01:00:12,409 --> 01:00:13,375 That's... that's nice. 1992 01:00:13,377 --> 01:00:14,443 No, no, no, she doesn't mind. 1993 01:00:14,445 --> 01:00:15,677 Go ahead, touch her skin. -OK. 1994 01:00:15,679 --> 01:00:17,245 BUTLER: No, don't pat it. Like, touch it. 1995 01:00:17,247 --> 01:00:18,246 -Oh, like... -Yeah, get in there. 1996 01:00:18,248 --> 01:00:19,548 Yeah. -OK. 1997 01:00:19,550 --> 01:00:20,616 OK. 1998 01:00:20,618 --> 01:00:22,217 Honestly, after seeing someone like her, 1999 01:00:22,219 --> 01:00:24,419 I understand why you would cut somebody else's skin 2000 01:00:24,421 --> 01:00:25,787 off and wear it as your own. 2001 01:00:25,789 --> 01:00:26,855 Oh, my god! 2002 01:00:26,857 --> 01:00:27,956 No, don't worry about it, man. 2003 01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:28,991 I'm not actually gonna do that. 2004 01:00:28,993 --> 01:00:29,791 Yeah, good! 2005 01:00:29,793 --> 01:00:30,592 Look, man. 2006 01:00:30,594 --> 01:00:31,927 Be fucking cool, all right? 2007 01:00:31,929 --> 01:00:32,928 This is my joint. 2008 01:00:32,930 --> 01:00:34,129 OK. 2009 01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:36,498 I'll... I'll just... I'll be calm from here on out. 2010 01:00:36,500 --> 01:00:37,633 I'm just fucking with you, man. 2011 01:00:37,635 --> 01:00:38,900 -Ha. -I got you. 2012 01:00:38,902 --> 01:00:39,835 Oh, you got me? 2013 01:00:39,837 --> 01:00:41,236 I got you, Adam Bomb, man! 2014 01:00:41,238 --> 01:00:42,204 Let's do a lap. 2015 01:00:42,206 --> 01:00:43,206 OK. 2016 01:00:45,309 --> 01:00:47,175 Just like old times, right? 2017 01:00:47,177 --> 01:00:48,377 Yeah, kinda. 2018 01:00:48,379 --> 01:00:49,778 I mean, we didn't really hang out that much, but... 2019 01:00:49,780 --> 01:00:51,179 Hey. 2020 01:00:51,181 --> 01:00:53,682 Do you remember that time senior year, Mr. York's physics class? 2021 01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:56,551 I stole that answer key, copied it, and gave it to everybody. 2022 01:00:56,553 --> 01:00:59,054 And it turns out it was from, like, three years before. 2023 01:00:59,056 --> 01:01:02,791 And we all failed, and that one Asian kid killed himself? 2024 01:01:02,793 --> 01:01:03,792 Yeah. 2025 01:01:03,794 --> 01:01:05,927 I can't get that kid out of my head. 2026 01:01:05,929 --> 01:01:08,563 That kid still haunts my dreams. 2027 01:01:08,565 --> 01:01:10,265 Do you remember his name? 2028 01:01:10,267 --> 01:01:12,401 Uh, no. 2029 01:01:12,403 --> 01:01:13,735 It was Daniel Fu. 2030 01:01:13,737 --> 01:01:15,070 How do you forget that? 2031 01:01:15,072 --> 01:01:17,406 Oh, right. 2032 01:01:17,408 --> 01:01:19,508 Do you remember his face? 2033 01:01:19,510 --> 01:01:20,342 Yeah. 2034 01:01:20,344 --> 01:01:21,343 I remember what he looked like. 2035 01:01:21,345 --> 01:01:22,611 OK. 2036 01:01:22,613 --> 01:01:23,612 I do too. 2037 01:01:23,614 --> 01:01:24,646 Daniel Fu... now I remember his name. 2038 01:01:24,648 --> 01:01:26,181 Daniel Fu. 2039 01:01:26,183 --> 01:01:27,516 God damn it, I miss high school. 2040 01:01:27,518 --> 01:01:29,084 I fucking ruled that place. 2041 01:01:29,086 --> 01:01:30,485 Yeah. 2042 01:01:30,487 --> 01:01:32,821 This one's for you, Fu. 2043 01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:34,623 I'll never go away. 2044 01:01:37,494 --> 01:01:39,861 Hey, bitches love dancing, right? 2045 01:01:39,863 --> 01:01:40,962 Yeah, yeah, they do. 2046 01:01:40,964 --> 01:01:42,364 Hey, here's the thing. 2047 01:01:42,366 --> 01:01:45,901 I don't want you to fuck any of these girls, all right? 2048 01:01:45,903 --> 01:01:47,703 You're definitely going to get hep C. 2049 01:01:47,705 --> 01:01:48,770 -Huh. -I'm just kidding. 2050 01:01:48,772 --> 01:01:49,571 Oh. 2051 01:01:49,573 --> 01:01:51,573 You can fuck them. 2052 01:01:51,575 --> 01:01:53,108 Hep C is treatable with antibiotics. 2053 01:01:53,110 --> 01:01:54,376 Either way, you know? 2054 01:01:54,378 --> 01:01:55,577 Don't worry about it. 2055 01:01:55,579 --> 01:01:56,912 You're not going to get any ass dressed like this. 2056 01:01:56,914 --> 01:01:58,346 You look like a bag of wet sandwiches. 2057 01:01:58,348 --> 01:01:59,147 Oh. 2058 01:01:59,149 --> 01:02:00,382 Uh, that's so rude. 2059 01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:01,817 But, uh, it's my favorite shirt. 2060 01:02:01,819 --> 01:02:03,085 It's got a collar and everything, so. 2061 01:02:03,087 --> 01:02:03,885 Really? 2062 01:02:03,887 --> 01:02:06,955 This shirt cost $600. 2063 01:02:06,957 --> 01:02:09,691 $600, that shirt? 2064 01:02:09,693 --> 01:02:12,160 That's a... I mean, I don't even know how that could... wow, OK? 2065 01:02:12,162 --> 01:02:12,961 Fuck you. 2066 01:02:12,963 --> 01:02:13,795 Yeah, that's really soft. 2067 01:02:13,797 --> 01:02:14,796 That's amazing how soft... 2068 01:02:14,798 --> 01:02:15,897 Yeah, yeah, yeah, stop touching me. 2069 01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:17,532 OK. 2070 01:02:17,534 --> 01:02:20,368 I feel like you led me to that. 2071 01:02:20,370 --> 01:02:22,237 So how are you supposed to talk to girls here? 2072 01:02:22,239 --> 01:02:23,772 It's so loud. 2073 01:02:23,774 --> 01:02:26,341 God, you're not supposed to be talking at all. 2074 01:02:26,343 --> 01:02:28,243 You just have to have well-defined cheekbones 2075 01:02:28,245 --> 01:02:29,377 and a shitload of money. 2076 01:02:29,379 --> 01:02:30,579 Ah. 2077 01:02:30,581 --> 01:02:33,281 Or you have to play for the Lakers like that guy. 2078 01:02:33,283 --> 01:02:34,449 ADAM: I don't really think that guy 2079 01:02:34,451 --> 01:02:35,450 actually plays for the Lakers. 2080 01:02:35,452 --> 01:02:37,152 He's just... maybe just a black guy 2081 01:02:37,154 --> 01:02:38,386 that bought a... a windbreaker. 2082 01:02:38,388 --> 01:02:39,588 But yeah. 2083 01:02:39,590 --> 01:02:40,655 I get what you're saying. 2084 01:02:40,657 --> 01:02:42,557 Oh, they could sure use them, huh? 2085 01:02:42,559 --> 01:02:43,892 Yeah, true that. 2086 01:02:43,894 --> 01:02:48,497 The Lakers man... they flop worse than M. Night Shyamalan. 2087 01:02:48,499 --> 01:02:49,564 Hey, where'd you hear that? 2088 01:02:49,566 --> 01:02:50,398 I wrote that. 2089 01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:51,199 Really? 2090 01:02:51,201 --> 01:02:52,134 Yeah. 2091 01:02:52,136 --> 01:02:52,968 No shit. 2092 01:02:52,970 --> 01:02:54,436 My roommate sent me that link. 2093 01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:55,437 I should introduce you. 2094 01:02:55,439 --> 01:02:56,872 He works for Yahoo. 2095 01:02:56,874 --> 01:02:58,140 They're looking for writers. 2096 01:02:58,142 --> 01:02:58,940 Really? 2097 01:02:58,942 --> 01:03:00,542 Which one's your roommate? 2098 01:03:00,544 --> 01:03:02,844 He's that old guy trying to party like he's 22. 2099 01:03:02,846 --> 01:03:06,047 Let's do some molly, motherfuckers! 2100 01:03:06,049 --> 01:03:06,848 Woo! 2101 01:03:06,850 --> 01:03:08,250 I feel amazing! 2102 01:03:08,252 --> 01:03:09,317 Hey, you know what? 2103 01:03:09,319 --> 01:03:10,385 I'll connect you guys later. 2104 01:03:10,387 --> 01:03:11,520 Don't worry about it. 2105 01:03:11,522 --> 01:03:12,621 Oh, shit! 2106 01:03:12,623 --> 01:03:14,456 This is our song, bros! 2107 01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:15,257 Let's go, Jim. 2108 01:03:15,259 --> 01:03:16,259 Let's go! 2109 01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:19,961 God. 2110 01:03:19,963 --> 01:03:24,432 That's... that's so exhausting. 2111 01:03:24,434 --> 01:03:25,467 All right, motherfuckers. 2112 01:03:25,469 --> 01:03:26,835 It's that time o' night. 2113 01:03:26,837 --> 01:03:28,336 Hand in your credit cards. 2114 01:03:28,338 --> 01:03:29,137 ADAM: What do we do? 2115 01:03:29,139 --> 01:03:30,238 We just split it up, yeah? 2116 01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:31,506 Split it... yeah, that's what we do. 2117 01:03:31,508 --> 01:03:32,340 No, bro. 2118 01:03:32,342 --> 01:03:33,642 We play credit card roulette. 2119 01:03:33,644 --> 01:03:37,112 We let the young lady to my left decide who is 2120 01:03:37,114 --> 01:03:40,482 the richest among us tonight. 2121 01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:42,517 Oh, the new guy! 2122 01:03:42,519 --> 01:03:44,085 New guy has to pay for everything! 2123 01:03:44,087 --> 01:03:44,920 Welcome to the circle! 2124 01:03:44,922 --> 01:03:46,087 -Adam Bomb! -OK. 2125 01:03:46,089 --> 01:03:47,155 All right. 2126 01:03:47,157 --> 01:03:48,557 -That can't be too bad, right? -Oh, yeah. 2127 01:03:48,559 --> 01:03:49,858 You got to pay for, what, six bottles? 2128 01:03:49,860 --> 01:03:52,194 Yeah, 2 grand... not even. 2129 01:03:52,196 --> 01:03:54,129 2 grand? 2130 01:03:54,131 --> 01:03:54,930 You're fucking serious? 2131 01:03:54,932 --> 01:03:56,331 Bro, do me a favor. 2132 01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:57,365 Tip her well. 2133 01:03:57,367 --> 01:03:58,900 She's coming back to the after-party. 2134 01:03:58,902 --> 01:04:01,436 Let's rock and roll, my place! 2135 01:04:01,438 --> 01:04:02,871 Awesome hanging out with you, man. 2136 01:04:02,873 --> 01:04:03,705 We got to do this more. 2137 01:04:03,707 --> 01:04:04,707 Let's go. 2138 01:04:11,782 --> 01:04:14,349 So dude, thanks for giving us the place last night. 2139 01:04:14,351 --> 01:04:16,818 But Amanda came up with this amazing idea during dinner. 2140 01:04:16,820 --> 01:04:17,786 What? 2141 01:04:17,788 --> 01:04:19,187 Since we haven't had sex in so long, 2142 01:04:19,189 --> 01:04:20,956 we save ourselves for our wedding night 2143 01:04:20,958 --> 01:04:22,090 to make it more special, you know? 2144 01:04:22,092 --> 01:04:23,158 I think it's pretty cool. 2145 01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:24,359 That sounds like a terrible idea. 2146 01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:25,894 I think it's a great idea, because it's 2147 01:04:25,896 --> 01:04:27,495 like I'm a virgin again now. 2148 01:04:27,497 --> 01:04:28,496 You're not a virgin. 2149 01:04:28,498 --> 01:04:29,531 You're a dude that doesn't have sex, 2150 01:04:29,533 --> 01:04:30,632 and there's a lot of those out there. 2151 01:04:30,634 --> 01:04:31,967 All right, well, you can agree to disagree. 2152 01:04:31,969 --> 01:04:33,535 I think it's a great idea. 2153 01:04:33,537 --> 01:04:34,970 So anyway, how are you doing? 2154 01:04:34,972 --> 01:04:37,105 Well, I miss fantasy football more than I 2155 01:04:37,107 --> 01:04:38,306 miss our dead grandmother. 2156 01:04:38,308 --> 01:04:40,141 I had a nightmare the other night about a summer 2157 01:04:40,143 --> 01:04:41,343 without fantasy baseball. 2158 01:04:41,345 --> 01:04:42,544 That was terrible. 2159 01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:44,246 Other than that, I totally think that this breakup 2160 01:04:44,248 --> 01:04:45,180 was a mistake. 2161 01:04:45,182 --> 01:04:46,748 First of all, Nana would be crushed 2162 01:04:46,750 --> 01:04:48,016 if she heard you say that. 2163 01:04:48,018 --> 01:04:49,985 And the breakup was not a bad idea, OK? 2164 01:04:49,987 --> 01:04:50,986 You needed this. 2165 01:04:50,988 --> 01:04:51,920 So how are the other guys? 2166 01:04:51,922 --> 01:04:52,721 DAVID: They're good. 2167 01:04:52,723 --> 01:04:54,055 They're good. 2168 01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:55,891 Uh, Barrett enrolled in a couple of night classes at USC, 2169 01:04:55,893 --> 01:04:56,725 actually. 2170 01:04:56,727 --> 01:04:57,792 He's killing it with the girls. 2171 01:04:57,794 --> 01:04:59,561 Mook calls me a lot, actually. 2172 01:04:59,563 --> 01:05:00,929 I don't know what his deal is, but he's 2173 01:05:00,931 --> 01:05:02,230 taking some sort of class. 2174 01:05:02,232 --> 01:05:03,064 I don't know. 2175 01:05:03,066 --> 01:05:04,566 He wasn't really specific. 2176 01:05:04,568 --> 01:05:06,067 Howie emailed me. 2177 01:05:06,069 --> 01:05:08,103 He got a promotion, I think, at work. 2178 01:05:08,105 --> 01:05:10,405 And he's dating someone who's got a kid. 2179 01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:11,206 OK, great. 2180 01:05:11,208 --> 01:05:12,073 So I'm in last place. 2181 01:05:12,075 --> 01:05:15,076 Dude, this is not a race. 2182 01:05:15,078 --> 01:05:16,278 What? 2183 01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:17,646 Nothing. 2184 01:05:17,648 --> 01:05:19,581 This guy is measuring my inner thigh, and I think it moved. 2185 01:05:19,583 --> 01:05:20,649 Oh, so you're... you're gay. 2186 01:05:20,651 --> 01:05:21,449 Oh, really? 2187 01:05:21,451 --> 01:05:22,584 I'm gay? 2188 01:05:22,586 --> 01:05:23,885 I'm in a committed relationship, and you just 2189 01:05:23,887 --> 01:05:25,253 broke up with a bunch of dudes. How am I gay? 2190 01:05:25,255 --> 01:05:26,187 You're in a committed relationship, 2191 01:05:26,189 --> 01:05:27,122 but you won't have sex with a girl. 2192 01:05:27,124 --> 01:05:28,256 I'm in a committed relationship, 2193 01:05:28,258 --> 01:05:30,025 but I'm choosing not to have sex with a girl. 2194 01:05:30,027 --> 01:05:31,426 How is that gay? 2195 01:05:31,428 --> 01:05:32,227 That's actually so gay. 2196 01:05:32,229 --> 01:05:33,061 That's so gay. 2197 01:05:33,063 --> 01:05:34,496 Yeah, I totally got that, yeah. 2198 01:05:34,498 --> 01:05:35,497 [phone chimes] 2199 01:05:35,499 --> 01:05:36,499 Oh. [inaudible] 2200 01:05:51,081 --> 01:05:52,948 BETH: I thought we were going to keep pretending 2201 01:05:52,950 --> 01:05:54,149 that exercising was fun. 2202 01:05:54,151 --> 01:05:56,918 You can't go jogging in that. 2203 01:05:56,920 --> 01:05:59,054 I honestly thought you were joking. 2204 01:05:59,056 --> 01:06:01,890 This outfit is not ironic. 2205 01:06:01,892 --> 01:06:02,791 [sighs] 2206 01:06:02,793 --> 01:06:03,993 So what are we gonna do now? 2207 01:06:06,430 --> 01:06:07,329 You know what? 2208 01:06:07,331 --> 01:06:08,430 You were right. 2209 01:06:08,432 --> 01:06:09,864 This is a way better idea than working out. 2210 01:06:09,866 --> 01:06:11,166 Yeah. 2211 01:06:11,168 --> 01:06:12,334 Stick with me, and you'll be out of shape in no time. 2212 01:06:12,336 --> 01:06:13,234 -I got it, I got it! -Oh. 2213 01:06:13,236 --> 01:06:14,436 -Oh. -Hey. 2214 01:06:14,438 --> 01:06:15,403 You all right? 2215 01:06:15,405 --> 01:06:16,445 Yeah, yeah, I'm good. 2216 01:06:25,215 --> 01:06:26,181 Adam. 2217 01:06:26,183 --> 01:06:27,649 What? 2218 01:06:27,651 --> 01:06:31,586 We should probably stop. 2219 01:06:31,588 --> 01:06:35,123 I mean, you know, uh, we don't have to stop. 2220 01:06:35,125 --> 01:06:39,127 I just... I don't want to screw things up, you know? 2221 01:06:39,129 --> 01:06:41,096 Well, for the record, I don't think it screws things up. 2222 01:06:41,098 --> 01:06:43,431 I think it makes things way better. 2223 01:06:43,433 --> 01:06:46,935 I just... I just don't think it's the right time. 2224 01:06:46,937 --> 01:06:47,802 Really? 2225 01:06:47,804 --> 01:06:49,270 You're single for once. 2226 01:06:49,272 --> 01:06:51,206 Technically, it's like the perfect time. 2227 01:06:51,208 --> 01:06:54,376 Yeah, but it doesn't feel that way to me. 2228 01:06:54,378 --> 01:06:56,711 Can't we just, you know, continue to hang out as friends 2229 01:06:56,713 --> 01:06:58,747 and see where it goes from there? 2230 01:06:58,749 --> 01:07:01,149 I'm just... I'm not ready for more than that. 2231 01:07:01,151 --> 01:07:02,617 Well I am. 2232 01:07:02,619 --> 01:07:04,352 Are you sure? 2233 01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:06,121 I think you need time to figure things out. 2234 01:07:06,123 --> 01:07:09,157 And I just... I just need you to give me some time too. 2235 01:07:09,159 --> 01:07:09,924 Oh, I will. 2236 01:07:09,926 --> 01:07:11,226 I... I totally will. 2237 01:07:11,228 --> 01:07:12,594 I think that time is great. 2238 01:07:12,596 --> 01:07:15,363 But I think that that thing that we just did where we kissed 2239 01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:17,065 is also awesome. 2240 01:07:17,067 --> 01:07:20,301 And I think that while we're taking that time, 2241 01:07:20,303 --> 01:07:24,005 we can continue to hang out and do cool things. 2242 01:07:24,007 --> 01:07:26,241 And every now and then, I'll kiss you, and... 2243 01:07:26,243 --> 01:07:28,676 Adam, look. 2244 01:07:28,678 --> 01:07:31,579 I just can't be at the top of your list right now. 2245 01:07:31,581 --> 01:07:33,748 I'm... I'm sorry, but that's where I'm at. 2246 01:07:37,020 --> 01:07:37,986 Well, it's not where I'm at. 2247 01:07:37,988 --> 01:07:39,068 I want more than that. 2248 01:07:55,005 --> 01:07:55,804 Hey, Adam. 2249 01:07:55,806 --> 01:07:56,905 Uh, sorry to bother you. 2250 01:07:56,907 --> 01:07:58,406 But I was thinking about putting together 2251 01:07:58,408 --> 01:08:00,875 a presentation regarding the NNL's ability to... 2252 01:08:00,877 --> 01:08:02,777 (SINGSONG VOICE) I'm in love. 2253 01:08:02,779 --> 01:08:04,012 Dude, her name is Stephanie. 2254 01:08:04,014 --> 01:08:05,547 And I know we're not supposed to say anything, 2255 01:08:05,549 --> 01:08:06,881 but I had to tell somebody. 2256 01:08:06,883 --> 01:08:07,682 Wow. 2257 01:08:07,684 --> 01:08:08,783 Where'd you meet her? 2258 01:08:08,785 --> 01:08:11,986 Uh, just this class where we learn things. 2259 01:08:11,988 --> 01:08:13,555 You know, books and shit. 2260 01:08:13,557 --> 01:08:15,190 Uh, anyway you'll get to meet her at David's 2261 01:08:15,192 --> 01:08:16,624 stupid jack and jill party. 2262 01:08:16,626 --> 01:08:17,425 Yeah, cool. 2263 01:08:17,427 --> 01:08:18,560 I'll get to meet your girl. 2264 01:08:18,562 --> 01:08:20,295 I'll get to meet Howie's girl and maybe her kid. 2265 01:08:20,297 --> 01:08:22,097 I'll get to meet, uh, Barrett's girls. 2266 01:08:22,099 --> 01:08:23,331 I'll sure he'll have a few hot coeds, 2267 01:08:23,333 --> 01:08:24,466 'cause he's the big man on campus. 2268 01:08:24,468 --> 01:08:26,434 It'll be a fucking great night for me. 2269 01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:27,535 Dude, are you doing all right? 2270 01:08:27,537 --> 01:08:28,570 Yeah, I'm great. 2271 01:08:28,572 --> 01:08:29,370 Never been better. 2272 01:08:29,372 --> 01:08:30,271 I still don't have a girl. 2273 01:08:30,273 --> 01:08:31,306 I'm broke as shit. 2274 01:08:31,308 --> 01:08:33,074 I'm sleeping on a pull-out mattress. 2275 01:08:33,076 --> 01:08:34,442 And at any given moment, I'm worried 2276 01:08:34,444 --> 01:08:37,045 that a condom broke and I might have a litter of tiger cubs. 2277 01:08:37,047 --> 01:08:39,414 Uh, I don't know what that last part means. 2278 01:08:39,416 --> 01:08:40,548 But it can't be all bad. 2279 01:08:40,550 --> 01:08:42,217 No, no, no, no, no, it's not. 2280 01:08:42,219 --> 01:08:46,621 A guy at Yahoo who happens to be a raging fucking coke head 2281 01:08:46,623 --> 01:08:49,324 told me he might read an article I wrote on the 49ers. 2282 01:08:49,326 --> 01:08:50,158 Hey, Adam. 2283 01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:51,526 I just have a quick question. 2284 01:08:51,528 --> 01:08:52,994 Hey, Jamie, what's up? 2285 01:08:52,996 --> 01:08:53,995 Yeah, listen. 2286 01:08:53,997 --> 01:08:55,563 Barrett's just an enigma of the man, 2287 01:08:55,565 --> 01:08:56,764 and he's playing hard to get. 2288 01:08:56,766 --> 01:08:57,866 Oh. 2289 01:08:57,868 --> 01:08:59,467 I knew it. 2290 01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:01,836 I was totally gonna tell you that. 2291 01:09:01,838 --> 01:09:02,770 Shit. 2292 01:09:02,772 --> 01:09:04,005 Hey, uh, Mr. Richtman. 2293 01:09:04,007 --> 01:09:04,806 What is this? 2294 01:09:04,808 --> 01:09:05,807 Yeah, I know. 2295 01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:06,774 Look, I want to apologize about that. 2296 01:09:06,776 --> 01:09:07,709 I know I left that in there. 2297 01:09:07,711 --> 01:09:09,144 This is really good. 2298 01:09:09,146 --> 01:09:09,944 You wrote this? 2299 01:09:09,946 --> 01:09:10,778 Yeah. 2300 01:09:10,780 --> 01:09:12,514 I had no idea you were a writer. 2301 01:09:12,516 --> 01:09:13,481 I want to read more. 2302 01:09:13,483 --> 01:09:15,283 Where are the articles on lacrosse? 2303 01:09:15,285 --> 01:09:16,751 Uh, well, there aren't any. 2304 01:09:16,753 --> 01:09:18,820 Nobody cares about lacrosse. 2305 01:09:18,822 --> 01:09:20,021 What? 2306 01:09:20,023 --> 01:09:21,289 You've been here longer than I have. 2307 01:09:21,291 --> 01:09:22,390 I thought you loved lacrosse. 2308 01:09:22,392 --> 01:09:23,191 Me? 2309 01:09:23,193 --> 01:09:24,425 No. 2310 01:09:24,427 --> 01:09:25,760 Honestly, I thought you were the only one around here 2311 01:09:25,762 --> 01:09:26,995 that cared about lacrosse? 2312 01:09:26,997 --> 01:09:29,097 What are you doing here if you don't like lacrosse? 2313 01:09:29,099 --> 01:09:30,098 I don't know. 2314 01:09:30,100 --> 01:09:31,733 It's my job. 2315 01:09:31,735 --> 01:09:33,835 Oh, no. 2316 01:09:33,837 --> 01:09:38,006 You're talking to me like a guy who wants me to fire him. 2317 01:09:38,008 --> 01:09:41,643 No, I... I think that that is maybe what I want. 2318 01:09:41,645 --> 01:09:42,911 [groans] ADAM: Actually, no. 2319 01:09:42,913 --> 01:09:44,245 I... look, I don't want to get fired. 2320 01:09:44,247 --> 01:09:45,046 Don't fire me. 2321 01:09:45,048 --> 01:09:46,047 OK. 2322 01:09:46,049 --> 01:09:47,549 Good, I've never fired anybody before. 2323 01:09:47,551 --> 01:09:49,150 I mean, if I were you, I would fire me. 2324 01:09:49,152 --> 01:09:51,152 I mean, you know how long it took me to do my work today? 2325 01:09:51,154 --> 01:09:52,654 A full day's work, I did it in a half an hour, 2326 01:09:52,656 --> 01:09:53,755 and I wasn't even trying. 2327 01:09:53,757 --> 01:09:55,390 -How is it even possible? -I don't know. 2328 01:09:55,392 --> 01:09:56,424 It's just so easy. I mean... 2329 01:09:56,426 --> 01:09:57,392 RICHTMAN: All right, wait. I'm confused. 2330 01:09:57,394 --> 01:09:59,327 Do you want me to fire you or not? 2331 01:09:59,329 --> 01:10:00,428 No, I don't want you to fire me. 2332 01:10:00,430 --> 01:10:01,930 I just... I don't want to lose that too. 2333 01:10:01,932 --> 01:10:03,531 That's my job. -Good. 2334 01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:04,732 All right, so I'm not firing you. 2335 01:10:04,734 --> 01:10:05,767 ADAM: OK. 2336 01:10:05,769 --> 01:10:06,534 Why not? 2337 01:10:06,536 --> 01:10:07,468 Ugh! 2338 01:10:07,470 --> 01:10:09,904 Look, I just... You want somebody 2339 01:10:09,906 --> 01:10:10,872 that wants to be here, right? 2340 01:10:10,874 --> 01:10:12,507 And I don't want to be here. 2341 01:10:12,509 --> 01:10:14,442 I mean, I have to move on with my life. 2342 01:10:14,444 --> 01:10:16,377 [sighs] 2343 01:10:16,379 --> 01:10:17,579 But seriously, don't fire me. 2344 01:10:17,581 --> 01:10:18,780 I don't want to get fired. 2345 01:10:18,782 --> 01:10:20,181 Oh, god. 2346 01:10:20,183 --> 01:10:22,116 All right, Adam. 2347 01:10:22,118 --> 01:10:22,917 You're fired. 2348 01:10:22,919 --> 01:10:24,285 MOOK: I'm coming with ya! 2349 01:10:24,287 --> 01:10:25,420 Mook, hold on. 2350 01:10:25,422 --> 01:10:26,254 No. 2351 01:10:26,256 --> 01:10:29,457 Just... it's against the rules. 2352 01:10:29,459 --> 01:10:30,792 [sighs] 2353 01:10:31,761 --> 01:10:34,395 Wow, this is emotional. 2354 01:10:34,397 --> 01:10:35,830 Come on. 2355 01:10:35,832 --> 01:10:38,366 No, I just never fired a guy before. 2356 01:10:38,368 --> 01:10:39,701 OK. 2357 01:10:39,703 --> 01:10:41,035 Are we good? 2358 01:10:41,037 --> 01:10:42,637 -Yeah, we're good. -OK. 2359 01:10:42,639 --> 01:10:43,805 You're still fired and we're good? 2360 01:10:43,807 --> 01:10:46,641 I'm fired and it's all good. 2361 01:10:46,643 --> 01:10:48,176 Great. 2362 01:10:48,178 --> 01:10:50,044 That felt good. 2363 01:10:50,046 --> 01:10:51,579 Who's next? 2364 01:10:51,581 --> 01:10:53,314 Lyle, meet me in my office. 2365 01:10:57,954 --> 01:10:59,254 Mook, you bring a plant and a keyboard? 2366 01:10:59,256 --> 01:11:01,122 Really? 2367 01:11:01,124 --> 01:11:02,357 [stammers] 2368 01:11:02,359 --> 01:11:03,992 DAVID: We were gonna... You were gonna talk first. 2369 01:11:03,994 --> 01:11:04,659 AMANDA: Oh, yeah. DAVID: Yeah. 2370 01:11:04,661 --> 01:11:05,627 Yeah. 2371 01:11:05,629 --> 01:11:07,061 I'm sorry. 2372 01:11:07,063 --> 01:11:09,330 They're all sitting in a circle, and they're looking at us. 2373 01:11:09,332 --> 01:11:10,265 Um. 2374 01:11:10,267 --> 01:11:11,065 Hi. 2375 01:11:11,067 --> 01:11:12,267 Hello, everyone. 2376 01:11:12,269 --> 01:11:16,471 Thank you for coming to our jack and jill party. 2377 01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:18,539 I'm Jack, heh-heh. 2378 01:11:18,541 --> 01:11:19,907 Jill. 2379 01:11:19,909 --> 01:11:22,677 We have a lot of really fun games that we're going to play. 2380 01:11:22,679 --> 01:11:23,978 Don't we, David? 2381 01:11:23,980 --> 01:11:24,779 Yes. 2382 01:11:24,781 --> 01:11:25,580 Yes, we do. 2383 01:11:25,582 --> 01:11:27,715 Um, we have Dirty Taboo. 2384 01:11:27,717 --> 01:11:32,220 We have, um, Truth or Dare Jenga, which should be fun. 2385 01:11:32,222 --> 01:11:36,824 Um, we also have Naughty Pictionary. 2386 01:11:36,826 --> 01:11:38,526 We have Uno, which is just a great game. 2387 01:11:38,528 --> 01:11:40,194 Uh, heh. 2388 01:11:40,196 --> 01:11:42,330 Dominoes, where we could just kinda 2389 01:11:42,332 --> 01:11:46,734 line them up and see what, you know, uh, we could flick them. 2390 01:11:46,736 --> 01:11:47,736 What the fuck? 2391 01:11:50,173 --> 01:11:52,407 I think this was a pretty bad idea. 2392 01:11:52,409 --> 01:11:54,475 You guys, you look totally miserable. 2393 01:11:54,477 --> 01:11:55,276 Are you? 2394 01:11:55,278 --> 01:11:59,247 [monotonous responses] 2395 01:11:59,249 --> 01:12:00,548 OK. 2396 01:12:00,550 --> 01:12:01,683 New plan. 2397 01:12:01,685 --> 01:12:04,886 Ladies, you guys all come with me. 2398 01:12:04,888 --> 01:12:06,087 We're going to go to a club. 2399 01:12:06,089 --> 01:12:06,854 OK? 2400 01:12:06,856 --> 01:12:08,589 Guys, you stay here. 2401 01:12:08,591 --> 01:12:10,725 Have your bachelor party. 2402 01:12:10,727 --> 01:12:11,626 Get crazy. 2403 01:12:11,628 --> 01:12:12,460 Do what you do. 2404 01:12:12,462 --> 01:12:13,728 I don't need to know about it. 2405 01:12:13,730 --> 01:12:14,662 How does that sound? 2406 01:12:14,664 --> 01:12:17,131 [positive responses] 2407 01:12:17,133 --> 01:12:18,566 That sounds great, babe. 2408 01:12:21,771 --> 01:12:22,570 AMANDA: Hey, babe? 2409 01:12:22,572 --> 01:12:23,504 Mm-hmm? 2410 01:12:23,506 --> 01:12:25,073 You fuck a stripper, I kill you. 2411 01:12:25,075 --> 01:12:26,040 OK? 2412 01:12:26,042 --> 01:12:26,841 [inaudible] 2413 01:12:26,843 --> 01:12:28,543 OK. 2414 01:12:28,545 --> 01:12:30,511 [inaudible] 2415 01:12:30,513 --> 01:12:33,514 [music playing] 2416 01:12:33,516 --> 01:12:35,983 Man, it's so good that those girls are gone. 2417 01:12:35,985 --> 01:12:37,518 It's been a long time since we've done this. 2418 01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:38,953 We needed it. HOWIE: Hey, hey, hey! 2419 01:12:38,955 --> 01:12:40,922 Hey, look at me! 2420 01:12:40,924 --> 01:12:44,058 Looks like I'm going to be the robe guy of this party, huh? 2421 01:12:44,060 --> 01:12:45,226 Any objections? 2422 01:12:45,228 --> 01:12:46,861 Uh, maybe a couple. 2423 01:12:46,863 --> 01:12:48,029 Any luck? 2424 01:12:48,031 --> 01:12:49,664 Oh, I don't need luck, my friend. 2425 01:12:49,666 --> 01:12:52,200 I got a little thing called technology. 2426 01:12:52,202 --> 01:12:55,870 I just found this app, ordered two strippers. 2427 01:12:55,872 --> 01:12:56,838 You got strippers coming? 2428 01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:58,473 HOWIE: Oh, yeah. 2429 01:12:58,475 --> 01:13:00,641 They're, uh... 2430 01:13:00,643 --> 01:13:01,909 Wow, that dude is the saddest thing 2431 01:13:01,911 --> 01:13:02,944 I've ever seen in my life. 2432 01:13:02,946 --> 01:13:05,380 Let me put on some stripper music, yo! 2433 01:13:05,382 --> 01:13:07,315 Yeah! 2434 01:13:07,317 --> 01:13:08,416 Bam. 2435 01:13:08,418 --> 01:13:09,384 Yeah. [music playing] 2436 01:13:09,386 --> 01:13:10,184 [doorbell rings] 2437 01:13:10,186 --> 01:13:10,985 Oh, OK. 2438 01:13:10,987 --> 01:13:11,953 The strippers are here. 2439 01:13:11,955 --> 01:13:12,854 Everybody sit down. 2440 01:13:12,856 --> 01:13:14,222 Sit down, sit down, sit down. 2441 01:13:14,224 --> 01:13:15,590 Come on, come on. Get on the couch! 2442 01:13:15,592 --> 01:13:16,491 Get on the couch! 2443 01:13:16,493 --> 01:13:17,492 And keep it together. 2444 01:13:17,494 --> 01:13:18,259 Keep it cool. 2445 01:13:18,261 --> 01:13:19,160 Do not embarrass me. 2446 01:13:19,162 --> 01:13:19,961 Chill. 2447 01:13:19,963 --> 01:13:20,828 Chill out. 2448 01:13:20,830 --> 01:13:22,063 Sorry I yelled. Let's have fun. 2449 01:13:22,065 --> 01:13:23,131 All right. 2450 01:13:23,133 --> 01:13:26,134 Just one second! 2451 01:13:26,136 --> 01:13:28,002 Hi, I love your beard. 2452 01:13:28,004 --> 01:13:28,803 Oh, heh-heh. 2453 01:13:28,805 --> 01:13:29,804 Hey. 2454 01:13:29,806 --> 01:13:32,740 [cheering] 2455 01:13:36,279 --> 01:13:37,278 That's the guy! 2456 01:13:37,280 --> 01:13:38,780 That's the bachelor! 2457 01:13:38,782 --> 01:13:40,481 All right, that's me. 2458 01:13:40,483 --> 01:13:41,282 Anyway... 2459 01:13:41,284 --> 01:13:44,252 All right. 2460 01:13:44,254 --> 01:13:45,253 Yeah, OK. 2461 01:13:45,255 --> 01:13:46,454 Yeah! 2462 01:13:46,456 --> 01:13:47,456 Wow. 2463 01:13:50,193 --> 01:13:51,592 Heh-heh. 2464 01:13:51,594 --> 01:13:52,393 What? 2465 01:13:52,395 --> 01:13:53,327 Um... 2466 01:13:53,329 --> 01:13:54,729 Whoa. ADAM: OK. 2467 01:13:54,731 --> 01:13:55,530 Hold on. 2468 01:13:55,532 --> 01:13:57,198 Is... is everything OK? 2469 01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:58,332 Hey, she's crying. 2470 01:13:58,334 --> 01:13:59,534 Oh, yeah, yeah yeah, sorry. 2471 01:13:59,536 --> 01:14:00,968 He just gets really nervous before a gang bang. 2472 01:14:00,970 --> 01:14:03,104 [negative responses] 2473 01:14:03,106 --> 01:14:04,839 That's not what this is. 2474 01:14:04,841 --> 01:14:07,809 We can try it. 2475 01:14:07,811 --> 01:14:08,609 Or not. 2476 01:14:08,611 --> 01:14:09,477 Whatever. 2477 01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:10,945 What you guys want. 2478 01:14:10,947 --> 01:14:13,548 Gang bang, no gang bang, I'm here to support. 2479 01:14:13,550 --> 01:14:14,749 You girls on Linkedln? 2480 01:14:14,751 --> 01:14:15,817 Excuse me, stripper? 2481 01:14:15,819 --> 01:14:19,253 We're not at all interested in a gang bang. 2482 01:14:19,255 --> 01:14:22,423 We're just looking for some innocent bachelor party fun 2483 01:14:22,425 --> 01:14:23,691 here, OK? 2484 01:14:23,693 --> 01:14:27,128 Maybe a little girl on girl if things get crazy. 2485 01:14:27,130 --> 01:14:29,030 We're not lesbian, you perverts. 2486 01:14:29,032 --> 01:14:30,431 How are we the perverts here? 2487 01:14:30,433 --> 01:14:31,899 Everyone, shut up. 2488 01:14:31,901 --> 01:14:32,967 You, bachelor. 2489 01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,336 It's $100 for handjobs, 250 for blowjobs, 2490 01:14:35,338 --> 01:14:37,238 and 500 to put it anywhere you want. 2491 01:14:37,240 --> 01:14:39,340 Well, almost anywhere. 2492 01:14:39,342 --> 01:14:41,209 The back door's always open, but the front door's closed 2493 01:14:41,211 --> 01:14:42,276 due to monthly maintenance. 2494 01:14:42,278 --> 01:14:43,411 -Oh, no! -No! 2495 01:14:43,413 --> 01:14:45,179 Unless you're into it, then it's double. 2496 01:14:45,181 --> 01:14:46,147 Double? 2497 01:14:46,149 --> 01:14:47,181 ADAM: I don't think you understand. 2498 01:14:47,183 --> 01:14:48,649 We're not really hooker guys. 2499 01:14:48,651 --> 01:14:50,651 OK, well, we're really hookers. 2500 01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:51,919 HOWIE: All right, sweetie, look. 2501 01:14:51,921 --> 01:14:56,123 On this app, on this app, it says in the description 2502 01:14:56,125 --> 01:14:57,191 "exotic dancers." 2503 01:14:57,193 --> 01:14:58,426 OK. 2504 01:14:58,428 --> 01:15:01,295 Well, that's because... That's because we can't say 2505 01:15:01,297 --> 01:15:03,731 that we fuck for money, retard. 2506 01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:06,367 You are a very immature prostitute. 2507 01:15:06,369 --> 01:15:08,169 Oh, really, senator? 2508 01:15:08,171 --> 01:15:09,670 You're really immature yourself. 2509 01:15:09,672 --> 01:15:10,838 You know what? 2510 01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:12,373 We came all the way down here, and we're not 2511 01:15:12,375 --> 01:15:14,575 leaving until we get paid, OK? 2512 01:15:14,577 --> 01:15:15,810 So who's ready to fucking party? 2513 01:15:15,812 --> 01:15:16,944 -No, not like that. -Huh? 2514 01:15:16,946 --> 01:15:17,745 The brown guy? 2515 01:15:17,747 --> 01:15:19,480 You want to party? 2516 01:15:19,482 --> 01:15:22,316 Uh, how much is it for her to stop crying and for both of you 2517 01:15:22,318 --> 01:15:23,117 to go home? 2518 01:15:23,119 --> 01:15:24,552 [prostitute crying] 2519 01:15:24,554 --> 01:15:25,520 $300. 2520 01:15:25,522 --> 01:15:27,889 Oh, that's a ripoff, man. 2521 01:15:27,891 --> 01:15:29,056 How much for a handjob? 2522 01:15:29,058 --> 01:15:29,857 PUSSYPOP: Yes! 2523 01:15:29,859 --> 01:15:31,526 Pussypop is back! 2524 01:15:31,528 --> 01:15:33,427 [cheering] 2525 01:15:34,397 --> 01:15:35,863 See this? 2526 01:15:35,865 --> 01:15:37,298 Soak it in. 2527 01:15:37,300 --> 01:15:38,766 That's your future. 2528 01:15:38,768 --> 01:15:40,902 Nobody likes strippers more than married dudes. 2529 01:15:40,904 --> 01:15:42,503 Hell, is this one crying? 2530 01:15:42,505 --> 01:15:43,604 Well, shit. 2531 01:15:43,606 --> 01:15:45,840 I got some I'm into cry and not cry, cry, 2532 01:15:45,842 --> 01:15:48,476 cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. 2533 01:15:48,478 --> 01:15:49,277 Cry! 2534 01:15:49,279 --> 01:15:51,245 Ha ha! 2535 01:15:51,247 --> 01:15:53,714 Yeah! 2536 01:15:53,716 --> 01:15:54,916 Why aren't you crying? 2537 01:15:54,918 --> 01:15:56,751 Hey, guys. 2538 01:15:56,753 --> 01:15:57,919 Let's get the fuck out of here. 2539 01:15:57,921 --> 01:15:58,719 [affirmative responses] 2540 01:15:58,721 --> 01:16:01,155 [laughter] 2541 01:16:01,157 --> 01:16:01,989 Hey, yeah. 2542 01:16:01,991 --> 01:16:02,957 You know what? 2543 01:16:02,959 --> 01:16:04,258 Hey, forget that jack and jill party. 2544 01:16:04,260 --> 01:16:05,793 That was way better than that, man. 2545 01:16:05,795 --> 01:16:06,594 Where's David? 2546 01:16:06,596 --> 01:16:07,695 [burps] 2547 01:16:07,697 --> 01:16:09,630 I think he's puking with Pussypop somewhere. 2548 01:16:09,632 --> 01:16:11,666 Where... where we going to take him next? 2549 01:16:11,668 --> 01:16:12,867 Let's go to Jumbo's, man. 2550 01:16:12,869 --> 01:16:13,668 Ooh! 2551 01:16:13,670 --> 01:16:14,702 Get him a lap dance. 2552 01:16:14,704 --> 01:16:15,970 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 2553 01:16:15,972 --> 01:16:18,806 Oh, Deb says that her and the girls are at Poubelle. 2554 01:16:18,808 --> 01:16:19,974 Oh, let's just do that then. 2555 01:16:19,976 --> 01:16:21,375 Whoa, no way. Fuck that. 2556 01:16:21,377 --> 01:16:22,710 This is our night, dude. 2557 01:16:22,712 --> 01:16:25,212 Oh, but dude, you know, I'd really like you to meet Deb, 2558 01:16:25,214 --> 01:16:26,013 get to know her. 2559 01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:28,482 Ha-ha, who cares about Deb? 2560 01:16:28,484 --> 01:16:30,084 -Well, I care about Deb. -No, I know. 2561 01:16:30,086 --> 01:16:31,586 I'm not... I don't mean it like that. 2562 01:16:31,588 --> 01:16:33,120 I'm just saying, you know, OK. 2563 01:16:33,122 --> 01:16:34,055 Hey, look. 2564 01:16:34,057 --> 01:16:35,356 I'm going to stop right here. 2565 01:16:35,358 --> 01:16:36,424 Stop it. -What? 2566 01:16:36,426 --> 01:16:37,158 -Stop. -Stopping? 2567 01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:37,992 Stop. 2568 01:16:37,994 --> 01:16:38,826 OK. 2569 01:16:38,828 --> 01:16:42,797 I was going to wait to do this. 2570 01:16:42,799 --> 01:16:44,432 But fuck it, OK? 2571 01:16:46,936 --> 01:16:47,735 What is that? 2572 01:16:47,737 --> 01:16:49,136 What... what are those? 2573 01:16:49,138 --> 01:16:52,673 These are the keys to David's place, the place 2574 01:16:52,675 --> 01:16:54,208 that David was talking about. 2575 01:16:54,210 --> 01:16:56,043 I went down, and I convinced them 2576 01:16:56,045 --> 01:16:57,712 to let me make a deposit on it. 2577 01:16:57,714 --> 01:17:00,014 This place is ours. 2578 01:17:00,016 --> 01:17:02,450 Oh, dude. 2579 01:17:02,452 --> 01:17:03,651 You really did that? 2580 01:17:03,653 --> 01:17:05,920 I mean, that's... That's really cool. 2581 01:17:05,922 --> 01:17:11,692 But I've been actually saving up money to get my own place, 2582 01:17:11,694 --> 01:17:13,094 like a condo or something. 2583 01:17:13,096 --> 01:17:15,363 [laughs] 2584 01:17:15,365 --> 01:17:16,364 Howard, man. 2585 01:17:16,366 --> 01:17:18,032 Are you being responsible, Howard? 2586 01:17:18,034 --> 01:17:19,433 That is his name. 2587 01:17:19,435 --> 01:17:22,003 If you're responsible, you have to use your full name, Howard. 2588 01:17:22,005 --> 01:17:23,004 I don't know either. 2589 01:17:23,006 --> 01:17:25,439 I'm... I kinda like staying on campus. 2590 01:17:25,441 --> 01:17:27,575 I'm thinking about getting my master's, 2591 01:17:27,577 --> 01:17:28,809 maybe becoming a professor. 2592 01:17:28,811 --> 01:17:29,644 That's awesome. 2593 01:17:29,646 --> 01:17:31,112 You're gonna make a difference. 2594 01:17:31,114 --> 01:17:32,947 Yeah, maybe. 2595 01:17:32,949 --> 01:17:34,348 And I also get to hang around college 2596 01:17:34,350 --> 01:17:35,449 girls for the rest of my life. 2597 01:17:35,451 --> 01:17:37,018 So it's kinda like a no-brainer, you know? 2598 01:17:37,020 --> 01:17:39,053 What's your excuse, huh, Mook? 2599 01:17:39,055 --> 01:17:41,188 I don't think the time is right. 2600 01:17:41,190 --> 01:17:43,290 You don't think it's the right time. 2601 01:17:43,292 --> 01:17:44,292 Ha. 2602 01:17:47,463 --> 01:17:48,623 Are you guys being serious? 2603 01:17:53,636 --> 01:17:56,237 You guys... you don't want to live together anymore? 2604 01:18:00,510 --> 01:18:01,909 It's over? 2605 01:18:01,911 --> 01:18:05,613 No, we're almost contractually allowed to hang out again soon. 2606 01:18:05,615 --> 01:18:08,582 Yeah, but it was supposed to go back to the way 2607 01:18:08,584 --> 01:18:11,218 that things were. 2608 01:18:11,220 --> 01:18:13,087 To be honest, man, I really want to go 2609 01:18:13,089 --> 01:18:14,355 back to the way things were. 2610 01:18:14,357 --> 01:18:17,158 I like how things are now. 2611 01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:18,492 BARRETT: Yeah. 2612 01:18:18,494 --> 01:18:19,494 Same. 2613 01:18:24,167 --> 01:18:25,166 Oh. 2614 01:18:25,168 --> 01:18:26,600 I feel like a big asshole right now. 2615 01:18:26,602 --> 01:18:27,902 -No, Adam, come on. -No, no. 2616 01:18:27,904 --> 01:18:28,936 Hey, come on. Look. 2617 01:18:28,938 --> 01:18:30,371 That's not the way it is, man. 2618 01:18:30,373 --> 01:18:33,941 I mean, the breakup actually worked for all of us. 2619 01:18:33,943 --> 01:18:35,976 Yeah, for you, man. 2620 01:18:35,978 --> 01:18:37,845 For you. 2621 01:18:37,847 --> 01:18:38,679 I didn't work for me. 2622 01:18:38,681 --> 01:18:39,480 I lost. 2623 01:18:39,482 --> 01:18:41,215 I fucked it all up. 2624 01:18:41,217 --> 01:18:45,186 And I tried to do this shit, and I just fucked it all up. 2625 01:18:45,188 --> 01:18:46,587 Isn't not going to be the way it was. 2626 01:18:46,589 --> 01:18:48,322 We can't just go back. 2627 01:18:48,324 --> 01:18:50,191 Why bother? 2628 01:18:50,193 --> 01:18:51,559 Hey, hey. 2629 01:18:51,561 --> 01:18:52,426 Where are you going? 2630 01:18:52,428 --> 01:18:53,260 ADAM: I don't know. 2631 01:18:53,262 --> 01:18:54,528 I don't know where I'm going. 2632 01:18:54,530 --> 01:18:57,298 But I'm telling you, I fucked it up, and I don't know. 2633 01:18:57,300 --> 01:18:58,799 OK? 2634 01:18:58,801 --> 01:19:00,434 So you... you guys, good. 2635 01:19:00,436 --> 01:19:01,635 You're better off without me. 2636 01:19:01,637 --> 01:19:04,038 And I'm going to go be better off without you. 2637 01:19:04,040 --> 01:19:07,041 That's not cool, bro. 2638 01:19:07,043 --> 01:19:08,242 It's not how it is. 2639 01:19:11,147 --> 01:19:14,081 [music playing] 2640 01:21:11,167 --> 01:21:12,366 (QUIETLY) Shit. 2641 01:21:12,368 --> 01:21:13,701 Shit. 2642 01:21:13,703 --> 01:21:16,237 I can't... I can't find that bag... that... that little bag 2643 01:21:16,239 --> 01:21:18,105 had the... the cufflinks in it. 2644 01:21:18,107 --> 01:21:19,440 I hate that bag, you know what I mean? 2645 01:21:19,442 --> 01:21:20,774 It's the worst bag in the world. 2646 01:21:20,776 --> 01:21:21,709 It's like, I had it. 2647 01:21:21,711 --> 01:21:24,078 I had the bag at the rehearsal. 2648 01:21:24,080 --> 01:21:25,312 I definitely had it at the rehearsal. 2649 01:21:25,314 --> 01:21:27,314 I mean, is it so hard to make a fucking shirt 2650 01:21:27,316 --> 01:21:28,682 with black buttons already on it. 2651 01:21:28,684 --> 01:21:29,550 Relax. I'll go get the bag. 2652 01:21:29,552 --> 01:21:30,684 It's cool. 2653 01:21:30,686 --> 01:21:32,019 Seriously, it's a man's wedding day, you know? 2654 01:21:32,021 --> 01:21:33,754 You would think that the last thing would be on his mind 2655 01:21:33,756 --> 01:21:34,755 are the fucking black buttons. 2656 01:21:34,757 --> 01:21:37,691 David, sit down. 2657 01:21:37,693 --> 01:21:38,993 It's like, I can't wear white buttons. 2658 01:21:38,995 --> 01:21:40,461 Amanda will kill me... -Right, I know. 2659 01:21:40,463 --> 01:21:41,729 you know, let alone marry me. 2660 01:21:41,731 --> 01:21:42,730 She might just kill me in front of her whole family. 2661 01:21:42,732 --> 01:21:43,797 I hear you, OK? 2662 01:21:43,799 --> 01:21:45,933 HOWIE: Yeah, we're doing it. [inaudible] 2663 01:21:45,935 --> 01:21:47,034 Jack Daniel's [inaudible]. 2664 01:21:47,036 --> 01:21:47,835 Hey. 2665 01:21:47,837 --> 01:21:49,270 Hey, what up, man? 2666 01:21:49,272 --> 01:21:50,704 [laughter] 2667 01:21:50,706 --> 01:21:53,073 Um, are you... you're sure you need that bag now? 2668 01:21:53,075 --> 01:21:54,475 Because you look... I mean, you just look 2669 01:21:54,477 --> 01:21:55,476 great just looking at you now. 2670 01:21:55,478 --> 01:21:57,244 Yeah. 2671 01:21:57,246 --> 01:21:58,178 Yes, I need the b... why? 2672 01:21:58,180 --> 01:22:00,047 What's going on? 2673 01:22:00,049 --> 01:22:02,917 Um, the guys are out there. 2674 01:22:02,919 --> 01:22:04,585 And it's just weird. 2675 01:22:04,587 --> 01:22:07,154 I... I haven't talked to them, you know, since the thing or... 2676 01:22:07,156 --> 01:22:09,323 Adam, it's my wedding day. 2677 01:22:09,325 --> 01:22:10,491 Swallow your pride. 2678 01:22:10,493 --> 01:22:12,326 Make nice-nice with your fucking friends. 2679 01:22:12,328 --> 01:22:15,362 And get me that fucking bag! 2680 01:22:15,364 --> 01:22:16,864 Just give me the fucking bag! 2681 01:22:16,866 --> 01:22:17,665 You nervous? 2682 01:22:17,667 --> 01:22:18,599 I just want to die. 2683 01:22:18,601 --> 01:22:21,402 Here. 2684 01:22:21,404 --> 01:22:23,203 Here, here. 2685 01:22:23,205 --> 01:22:24,004 Just... just drink. 2686 01:22:24,006 --> 01:22:27,274 I'm gonna die a virgin. 2687 01:22:27,276 --> 01:22:30,244 [music - pachelbel's canon] 2688 01:22:38,254 --> 01:22:39,720 It's really happening, huh? 2689 01:22:39,722 --> 01:22:42,323 Yeah, it really is. 2690 01:22:42,325 --> 01:22:45,059 No, I... I don't know if this is the best time to bring this up. 2691 01:22:45,061 --> 01:22:49,063 Uh, I've been meaning to apologize to you. 2692 01:22:49,065 --> 01:22:54,702 Uh, you know, I... I probably wasn't the best boyfriend. 2693 01:22:54,704 --> 01:22:56,337 Adam, it's fine. 2694 01:22:56,339 --> 01:22:57,538 Honestly. 2695 01:22:57,540 --> 01:22:59,707 Everything worked out the way it was supposed to. 2696 01:22:59,709 --> 01:23:00,709 We're good. 2697 01:23:08,384 --> 01:23:09,316 -(WHISPERING) Prick. -Hey. 2698 01:23:09,318 --> 01:23:10,150 I know. 2699 01:23:10,152 --> 01:23:11,618 I'm just... I'm sorry kind of. 2700 01:23:11,620 --> 01:23:14,521 [music playing] 2701 01:23:22,365 --> 01:23:23,430 Whoa, hey. What's up? 2702 01:23:23,432 --> 01:23:24,231 Hey. 2703 01:23:24,233 --> 01:23:25,032 What's up, man? 2704 01:23:25,034 --> 01:23:25,933 How are you, man? 2705 01:23:25,935 --> 01:23:26,867 -It's been so long. -Oh, man. 2706 01:23:26,869 --> 01:23:27,668 I haven't seen you. 2707 01:23:27,670 --> 01:23:28,669 Yeah, hey. 2708 01:23:28,671 --> 01:23:29,970 Yeah, I heard... I read on your blog 2709 01:23:29,972 --> 01:23:31,538 that you're writing for Yahoo now? 2710 01:23:31,540 --> 01:23:32,806 Yeah, Yahoo. 2711 01:23:32,808 --> 01:23:34,508 Yeah, well, I mean, you know, I'm a freelance writer. 2712 01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:36,377 But, uh, there's a shot that might bump me up to staff. 2713 01:23:36,379 --> 01:23:37,177 So good to hear. 2714 01:23:37,179 --> 01:23:38,479 How are you doing? 2715 01:23:38,481 --> 01:23:40,180 Uh, good, man. 2716 01:23:40,182 --> 01:23:41,382 Good. 2717 01:23:41,384 --> 01:23:45,352 It's been slightly, like, weird without you guys. 2718 01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:46,387 Wrote a lot of books. 2719 01:23:46,389 --> 01:23:47,388 Uh-huh. 2720 01:23:47,390 --> 01:23:48,956 Went on a lot of pub crawls on my own. 2721 01:23:48,958 --> 01:23:50,024 No way. 2722 01:23:50,026 --> 01:23:52,292 Got really into Chris Isaak for a while. 2723 01:23:52,294 --> 01:23:54,261 One day, I was just like, oh, let's just see how 2724 01:23:54,263 --> 01:23:55,329 many times I can masturbate. 2725 01:23:55,331 --> 01:23:56,163 No way. 2726 01:23:56,165 --> 01:23:57,798 Can you check and see the guys? 2727 01:23:57,800 --> 01:23:59,800 11. 2728 01:23:59,802 --> 01:24:02,236 Never look at Jennifer Lawrence again. 2729 01:24:02,238 --> 01:24:03,170 Can you... 2730 01:24:03,172 --> 01:24:04,705 Tried crystal meth. 2731 01:24:04,707 --> 01:24:06,840 Um, it was pretty good. 2732 01:24:06,842 --> 01:24:09,743 Can you see the guys over... over this way? 2733 01:24:09,745 --> 01:24:10,544 Mm-hmm. 2734 01:24:10,546 --> 01:24:11,345 Yeah. 2735 01:24:11,347 --> 01:24:12,413 Are they looking over here? 2736 01:24:12,415 --> 01:24:13,213 -Yep. -They are? 2737 01:24:13,215 --> 01:24:14,415 Yep. 2738 01:24:14,417 --> 01:24:15,749 Can you just do something, like I just made a joke? 2739 01:24:15,751 --> 01:24:16,817 Like laugh. 2740 01:24:16,819 --> 01:24:18,452 Just, like, laugh like crazy right now. 2741 01:24:18,454 --> 01:24:19,987 What, are you trying to make them jealous? 2742 01:24:19,989 --> 01:24:20,788 No. 2743 01:24:20,790 --> 01:24:21,822 Will you just fucking laugh? 2744 01:24:21,824 --> 01:24:23,457 Please do this for me. 2745 01:24:23,459 --> 01:24:24,358 Go. 2746 01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:26,193 [both laughing] 2747 01:24:26,195 --> 01:24:27,294 Right? 2748 01:24:27,296 --> 01:24:28,328 Right? Right? 2749 01:24:28,330 --> 01:24:29,763 No, don't look over there. Look over here. 2750 01:24:29,765 --> 01:24:30,597 Make it about me. Yeah. 2751 01:24:30,599 --> 01:24:32,299 Oh, right? 2752 01:24:32,301 --> 01:24:33,734 Cool man. So, um... 2753 01:24:33,736 --> 01:24:34,968 -[laughing] -OK, hold on. 2754 01:24:34,970 --> 01:24:36,637 Can you just look over here now? Don't look at them. 2755 01:24:36,639 --> 01:24:37,471 Don't look at them, dude. 2756 01:24:37,473 --> 01:24:38,405 Don't look at them. 2757 01:24:38,407 --> 01:24:39,373 [laughing] 2758 01:24:39,375 --> 01:24:40,340 Do I... I seem comfortable, right? 2759 01:24:40,342 --> 01:24:41,408 Yes. 2760 01:24:41,410 --> 01:24:42,109 Well, don't... you got to stop laughing. 2761 01:24:42,111 --> 01:24:42,843 Stop laughing. -OK. 2762 01:24:42,845 --> 01:24:44,044 Stop fucking laughing. 2763 01:24:44,046 --> 01:24:44,878 Well, hold on one second. 2764 01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:46,246 Don't leave. 2765 01:24:46,248 --> 01:24:48,382 Let me be the one who leaves so it looks more like I... I'm 2766 01:24:48,384 --> 01:24:51,018 the guy who's, like, deciding when 2767 01:24:51,020 --> 01:24:52,386 the conversation's over, OK? 2768 01:24:55,658 --> 01:24:56,657 -Ro. -Ro. 2769 01:24:56,659 --> 01:24:57,925 -Ro. -My man. 2770 01:24:57,927 --> 01:24:58,792 Hey, hey, hey. 2771 01:24:58,794 --> 01:24:59,927 Come over here. -Get over here. 2772 01:24:59,929 --> 01:25:00,727 Hey, how's it going? 2773 01:25:00,729 --> 01:25:02,229 I missed you guys. 2774 01:25:02,231 --> 01:25:03,163 OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 2775 01:25:03,165 --> 01:25:04,231 No, no, no, no. What did he say? 2776 01:25:04,233 --> 01:25:05,065 What did Adam say to you? 2777 01:25:05,067 --> 01:25:06,066 We saw you guys talking. 2778 01:25:06,068 --> 01:25:07,167 What's up? 2779 01:25:07,169 --> 01:25:10,671 OK, I cannot deal with this anymore! 2780 01:25:10,673 --> 01:25:14,408 I cannot be in the middle anymore! 2781 01:25:14,410 --> 01:25:16,510 You guys are playing a wicked game! 2782 01:25:16,512 --> 01:25:17,444 Whoa. 2783 01:25:17,446 --> 01:25:19,279 I got to find some crystal meth. 2784 01:25:19,281 --> 01:25:20,280 Shit! 2785 01:25:20,282 --> 01:25:24,718 [music playing] 2786 01:26:08,430 --> 01:26:10,197 REED: Adam. 2787 01:26:10,199 --> 01:26:12,533 Hey. 2788 01:26:12,535 --> 01:26:13,333 I'm sorry. 2789 01:26:13,335 --> 01:26:15,269 Um... 2790 01:26:15,271 --> 01:26:16,603 Call me Uncle Reed. 2791 01:26:16,605 --> 01:26:17,604 I'm a friend of your mother's. 2792 01:26:17,606 --> 01:26:18,772 Oh. 2793 01:26:18,774 --> 01:26:20,140 That's a hell of a wedding going on, isn't it? 2794 01:26:20,142 --> 01:26:21,108 Yeah, it's, uh, good. 2795 01:26:21,110 --> 01:26:22,843 I haven't seen you dancing. 2796 01:26:22,845 --> 01:26:23,810 Yeah, I don't know. 2797 01:26:23,812 --> 01:26:26,747 I'm just not... not... Dancing tonight. 2798 01:26:26,749 --> 01:26:28,248 [chuckling] 2799 01:26:28,250 --> 01:26:29,349 Oh, yeah. 2800 01:26:29,351 --> 01:26:32,452 I used to be like that... self-conscious 2801 01:26:32,454 --> 01:26:34,421 about being another run-of-the-mill 2802 01:26:34,423 --> 01:26:36,190 white guy dancing at a wedding. 2803 01:26:36,192 --> 01:26:38,325 [chuckling] 2804 01:26:38,327 --> 01:26:39,560 Yeah. 2805 01:26:39,562 --> 01:26:40,928 I mean, that's just... That's not really the issue. 2806 01:26:40,930 --> 01:26:44,064 I just kinda... not really in the mood, you know? 2807 01:26:44,066 --> 01:26:44,965 I get it. 2808 01:26:44,967 --> 01:26:46,300 I get it... weddings. 2809 01:26:46,302 --> 01:26:48,535 Weddings... yeah, you never know how they're gonna hit ya. 2810 01:26:48,537 --> 01:26:53,440 But Davy's... he's a good kid. 2811 01:26:53,442 --> 01:26:56,610 I don't think you have to worry about losing him. 2812 01:26:56,612 --> 01:26:58,512 Um, yeah. 2813 01:26:58,514 --> 01:27:00,914 I'm actually not worried about that at all. 2814 01:27:00,916 --> 01:27:02,349 Families get bigger. 2815 01:27:02,351 --> 01:27:03,350 Right. 2816 01:27:03,352 --> 01:27:05,786 And Davy... he's... He's the same guy. 2817 01:27:05,788 --> 01:27:07,454 Well, he... nobody really calls him Davy. 2818 01:27:07,456 --> 01:27:08,422 Um, and... 2819 01:27:08,424 --> 01:27:09,223 Adam. 2820 01:27:09,225 --> 01:27:11,558 What's up? 2821 01:27:11,560 --> 01:27:17,030 The book of life has many, many chapters. 2822 01:27:17,032 --> 01:27:18,065 Right? 2823 01:27:18,067 --> 01:27:20,367 And what once you finish one chapter, 2824 01:27:20,369 --> 01:27:22,002 you don't throw away the book. 2825 01:27:22,004 --> 01:27:22,903 Mm. 2826 01:27:22,905 --> 01:27:24,238 You keep on reading. 2827 01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:26,106 Is this... are you a... is this a psychologist thing or... 2828 01:27:26,108 --> 01:27:28,008 [laughing] 2829 01:27:28,010 --> 01:27:29,443 Oh, my god. 2830 01:27:29,445 --> 01:27:32,012 [laughing] 2831 01:27:32,014 --> 01:27:33,113 Scientology, no. 2832 01:27:33,115 --> 01:27:35,582 Are you... I'm sorry, but who are you again? 2833 01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:39,086 [stammering] 2834 01:27:39,088 --> 01:27:40,587 I'm a friend of your mom's. 2835 01:27:40,589 --> 01:27:41,589 OK. 2836 01:27:44,293 --> 01:27:46,960 And if you really want to dig down 2837 01:27:46,962 --> 01:27:50,097 a little deeper into the reality of the situation... 2838 01:27:50,099 --> 01:27:51,298 I don't know. I don't know. 2839 01:27:51,300 --> 01:27:52,266 then... 2840 01:27:52,268 --> 01:27:53,166 PUSSYPOP: Hey, Adam. 2841 01:27:53,168 --> 01:27:54,501 They're about to cut the cake. 2842 01:27:54,503 --> 01:27:55,769 ADAM: OK, cool. 2843 01:27:55,771 --> 01:27:58,705 I should probably get in there for my brother and all. 2844 01:27:58,707 --> 01:28:01,642 And this... this is super... Super fucking weird. 2845 01:28:01,644 --> 01:28:02,676 But, um, thank you. 2846 01:28:02,678 --> 01:28:03,810 Thanks, uh, for the talk. 2847 01:28:06,915 --> 01:28:08,282 Super fucking weird? 2848 01:28:08,284 --> 01:28:10,183 What's super fucking weird is I'm super fucking your mom. 2849 01:28:10,185 --> 01:28:11,485 That's what's super fucking weird. 2850 01:28:11,487 --> 01:28:12,819 So listen. 2851 01:28:12,821 --> 01:28:14,354 I know that it's my job to share, uh, embarrassing stories 2852 01:28:14,356 --> 01:28:15,622 here. 2853 01:28:15,624 --> 01:28:17,691 But, uh, David made we promise that I wouldn't come up 2854 01:28:17,693 --> 01:28:21,361 here and talk about how he tried to reinvent himself in college 2855 01:28:21,363 --> 01:28:23,797 as Rave Dave, the one-man party, and get really good at glow 2856 01:28:23,799 --> 01:28:24,865 sticks. [laughter] 2857 01:28:24,867 --> 01:28:26,400 Anyway, that's well behind them. 2858 01:28:26,402 --> 01:28:28,001 But if we get lucky, maybe he'll pull him out. 2859 01:28:28,003 --> 01:28:28,802 It's not happening. 2860 01:28:28,804 --> 01:28:29,804 [inaudible] 2861 01:28:33,676 --> 01:28:35,142 To David and Amanda, everybody. 2862 01:28:35,144 --> 01:28:38,111 [music playing] 2863 01:28:58,100 --> 01:28:59,132 Hey. 2864 01:28:59,134 --> 01:28:59,933 Hey. 2865 01:28:59,935 --> 01:29:01,335 Are you having a good time? 2866 01:29:01,337 --> 01:29:02,135 Yeah, of course, I am. 2867 01:29:02,137 --> 01:29:02,936 Yeah. 2868 01:29:02,938 --> 01:29:04,037 It's just great. 2869 01:29:04,039 --> 01:29:05,339 This is the best... I mean, this is the best 2870 01:29:05,341 --> 01:29:06,206 wedding I've ever been to. 2871 01:29:06,208 --> 01:29:07,874 Oh, thanks. 2872 01:29:07,876 --> 01:29:09,776 That's sweet. 2873 01:29:09,778 --> 01:29:12,045 So why do you look so miserable? 2874 01:29:12,047 --> 01:29:13,714 Heh. 2875 01:29:13,716 --> 01:29:15,949 Just go say hi. 2876 01:29:15,951 --> 01:29:18,752 Uh, I... I can't. 2877 01:29:18,754 --> 01:29:21,722 Adam, I've known you for a long time. 2878 01:29:21,724 --> 01:29:25,125 I know you can. 2879 01:29:25,127 --> 01:29:26,360 You can't say no to me. 2880 01:29:26,362 --> 01:29:27,442 This is my wedding day. 2881 01:29:32,634 --> 01:29:33,633 All right. 2882 01:29:33,635 --> 01:29:34,635 OK. 2883 01:29:36,939 --> 01:29:39,179 [MUSIC - MONTELL JORDAN, "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT"] 2884 01:29:41,744 --> 01:29:42,542 Thank you. 2885 01:29:42,544 --> 01:29:43,544 You're welcome. 2886 01:30:06,402 --> 01:30:08,769 You guys, uh, I'm sorry. 2887 01:30:08,771 --> 01:30:10,170 Ha ha ha! 2888 01:30:10,172 --> 01:30:11,438 Yeah! 2889 01:30:11,440 --> 01:30:13,306 All right, I knew you were going to do that. 2890 01:30:13,308 --> 01:30:15,675 Dude, there is no reason to apologize. 2891 01:30:15,677 --> 01:30:16,476 No, look. 2892 01:30:16,478 --> 01:30:18,445 I... I... there is, OK? 2893 01:30:18,447 --> 01:30:19,646 I thought that this was just gonna 2894 01:30:19,648 --> 01:30:21,114 be another one of those stupid things that we do, 2895 01:30:21,116 --> 01:30:22,682 like when we got stoned every day for a month. 2896 01:30:22,684 --> 01:30:24,151 Jewel High, 2010. 2897 01:30:24,153 --> 01:30:24,951 Right. 2898 01:30:24,953 --> 01:30:25,886 That fucking sucked! 2899 01:30:25,888 --> 01:30:27,621 [interposing voices] 2900 01:30:27,623 --> 01:30:30,424 I thought that afterwards that it was all just 2901 01:30:30,426 --> 01:30:31,792 gonna go back to the way things were, 2902 01:30:31,794 --> 01:30:32,926 and that's why I freaked out. 2903 01:30:32,928 --> 01:30:34,795 I... I didn't think that it would actually work. 2904 01:30:34,797 --> 01:30:37,597 Adam, the whole breakup worked, because we... 2905 01:30:37,599 --> 01:30:40,600 We gave each other enough space to figure 2906 01:30:40,602 --> 01:30:41,701 out what we really wanted. 2907 01:30:41,703 --> 01:30:44,604 Yes, and now we are even more awesome. 2908 01:30:44,606 --> 01:30:46,740 So what else would you want? 2909 01:30:49,778 --> 01:30:52,345 Honestly? 2910 01:30:52,347 --> 01:30:53,713 Beth. 2911 01:30:53,715 --> 01:30:55,682 I know that she doesn't want to be at the top of my list. 2912 01:30:55,684 --> 01:30:58,718 But she's what's missing. 2913 01:30:58,720 --> 01:31:01,121 Hey, there's these guys. 2914 01:31:01,123 --> 01:31:02,656 Bros before hos, huh? 2915 01:31:02,658 --> 01:31:05,459 [chuckling] 2916 01:31:05,461 --> 01:31:06,393 That was weird. 2917 01:31:06,395 --> 01:31:09,229 All right, just trying to fit in. 2918 01:31:09,231 --> 01:31:10,397 OK, have fun. 2919 01:31:10,399 --> 01:31:12,032 Hey, dude. 2920 01:31:12,034 --> 01:31:14,334 That list has got to be a lot shorter now, right? 2921 01:31:14,336 --> 01:31:16,036 Yeah, and if that's what's missing, 2922 01:31:16,038 --> 01:31:18,071 let's go fix that shit, brother. 2923 01:31:18,073 --> 01:31:19,339 Yeah, let's get the girl! 2924 01:31:19,341 --> 01:31:20,140 Get the girl. 2925 01:31:20,142 --> 01:31:21,374 Babe, come on. 2926 01:31:21,376 --> 01:31:22,542 We got to get the girl. 2927 01:31:26,048 --> 01:31:27,013 Oh! 2928 01:31:27,015 --> 01:31:28,381 We took the shuttle from the hotel. 2929 01:31:28,383 --> 01:31:29,549 Let's do it. 2930 01:31:29,551 --> 01:31:30,551 Yes! 2931 01:31:34,156 --> 01:31:35,422 -The keys are in the ignition. -Yes. 2932 01:31:35,424 --> 01:31:36,423 Who's driving? 2933 01:31:36,425 --> 01:31:37,657 I can't drive a bus. 2934 01:31:37,659 --> 01:31:39,626 I would fail every DUI test known to man right now. 2935 01:31:39,628 --> 01:31:41,428 I'm legally forbidden from driving buses. 2936 01:31:41,430 --> 01:31:42,729 You guys know that. 2937 01:31:42,731 --> 01:31:46,199 MARIO LOPEZ: I can drive a bus. 2938 01:31:46,201 --> 01:31:47,901 How cool is this guy? 2939 01:31:47,903 --> 01:31:48,702 [phone ringing] 2940 01:31:48,704 --> 01:31:49,704 One second. 2941 01:31:53,208 --> 01:31:54,040 Hello? 2942 01:31:54,042 --> 01:31:55,242 ADAM: Hey, listen. 2943 01:31:55,244 --> 01:31:56,643 Uh, I... I promise you that this isn't a booty call. 2944 01:31:56,645 --> 01:31:59,246 I just... where... where are you right now? 2945 01:31:59,248 --> 01:32:00,046 OK. 2946 01:32:00,048 --> 01:32:00,847 Uh, listen. 2947 01:32:00,849 --> 01:32:01,748 Stay right there, OK? 2948 01:32:01,750 --> 01:32:02,750 OK. 2949 01:32:05,687 --> 01:32:06,853 Now, do you know what you're going 2950 01:32:06,855 --> 01:32:07,888 to say when you get there? 2951 01:32:07,890 --> 01:32:09,256 Do... do you need any help or anything? 2952 01:32:09,258 --> 01:32:11,324 Uh, yeah, you know, I think I got it. 2953 01:32:11,326 --> 01:32:12,125 Yeah. 2954 01:32:12,127 --> 01:32:12,959 You sure? 2955 01:32:12,961 --> 01:32:13,760 Yeah. 2956 01:32:13,762 --> 01:32:14,694 Thanks. 2957 01:32:14,696 --> 01:32:15,962 All right. 2958 01:32:15,964 --> 01:32:19,766 Well, I did steal Kelly Kapowski away from Zack Morris, 2959 01:32:19,768 --> 01:32:20,934 you know? 2960 01:32:20,936 --> 01:32:22,235 I'm just saying. 2961 01:32:22,237 --> 01:32:23,103 Yeah. 2962 01:32:23,105 --> 01:32:24,104 I got it. Thanks, though. 2963 01:32:24,106 --> 01:32:25,171 MARIO LOPEZ: You sure? ADAM: Yeah. 2964 01:32:25,173 --> 01:32:26,006 Thanks. MARIO LOPEZ: All right. 2965 01:32:26,008 --> 01:32:27,768 ADAM: Here. Pull off here. 2966 01:32:36,952 --> 01:32:38,051 Listen. 2967 01:32:38,053 --> 01:32:40,420 You got this, Preppy. 2968 01:32:40,422 --> 01:32:44,624 Oh, my... it's so... so awesome that you just called me that. 2969 01:32:44,626 --> 01:32:45,626 Thanks, man. 2970 01:32:50,866 --> 01:32:51,865 Yeah. 2971 01:32:51,867 --> 01:32:53,633 I am pretty awesome. 2972 01:32:53,635 --> 01:32:54,568 Beth. 2973 01:32:54,570 --> 01:32:55,570 Beth. 2974 01:32:58,807 --> 01:33:00,807 Look, I know there's a lot to take in right now. 2975 01:33:00,809 --> 01:33:02,642 But this has to happen now, OK? 2976 01:33:02,644 --> 01:33:03,443 Guys, come out here. 2977 01:33:03,445 --> 01:33:04,511 Barrett, Mook, Howie. 2978 01:33:09,618 --> 01:33:10,584 Beth, you already know Mook. 2979 01:33:10,586 --> 01:33:11,818 And this is Howie. 2980 01:33:11,820 --> 01:33:13,653 And that's Barrett over there. 2981 01:33:13,655 --> 01:33:15,889 I need you to know these guys, because, uh, I 2982 01:33:15,891 --> 01:33:17,557 want you to know me. 2983 01:33:17,559 --> 01:33:20,260 We broke up. 2984 01:33:20,262 --> 01:33:22,696 During that time, I had to decide what 2985 01:33:22,698 --> 01:33:25,365 I wanted to do with my life. 2986 01:33:25,367 --> 01:33:26,199 It was really hard. 2987 01:33:26,201 --> 01:33:28,535 But I think I finally did it. 2988 01:33:28,537 --> 01:33:30,036 I mean, I'm... I'm a writer now. 2989 01:33:30,038 --> 01:33:31,304 Blogger, technically. 2990 01:33:31,306 --> 01:33:32,105 All right, Barrett. 2991 01:33:32,107 --> 01:33:34,207 OK. 2992 01:33:34,209 --> 01:33:35,642 I got my own place. 2993 01:33:35,644 --> 01:33:36,476 In Burbank. 2994 01:33:36,478 --> 01:33:37,478 Mook, it doesn't... 2995 01:33:41,216 --> 01:33:43,984 The only thing in my life that's missing right now is you. 2996 01:33:43,986 --> 01:33:46,219 Oh, that is so cute, huh? 2997 01:33:46,221 --> 01:33:47,153 [chuckling] 2998 01:33:47,155 --> 01:33:48,221 ADAM: All right. 2999 01:33:48,223 --> 01:33:49,322 I should have kept these guys in the bus. 3000 01:33:49,324 --> 01:33:51,491 Can I come up there? 3001 01:33:51,493 --> 01:33:52,493 Yeah. 3002 01:33:58,467 --> 01:33:59,265 ADAM: Oh. 3003 01:33:59,267 --> 01:34:00,066 Beth, thanks. 3004 01:34:00,068 --> 01:34:01,234 That's, uh, much better. 3005 01:34:03,972 --> 01:34:05,338 Look. 3006 01:34:05,340 --> 01:34:10,010 Uh, Beth, I, um... I realize now that you needed time too. 3007 01:34:10,012 --> 01:34:12,746 And I didn't respect that. 3008 01:34:12,748 --> 01:34:15,415 And I... I should've. 3009 01:34:15,417 --> 01:34:20,186 So I'm sorry. 3010 01:34:20,188 --> 01:34:23,256 Thank you. 3011 01:34:23,258 --> 01:34:24,858 You know, I keep thinking about that guy who 3012 01:34:24,860 --> 01:34:27,694 was masturbating in the park. 3013 01:34:27,696 --> 01:34:29,629 And why doesn't that surprise me? 3014 01:34:29,631 --> 01:34:31,097 The truth is, you have a lot in common 3015 01:34:31,099 --> 01:34:34,334 with that filthy exhibitionist. 3016 01:34:34,336 --> 01:34:35,735 Look, you're going to look back on this, 3017 01:34:35,737 --> 01:34:39,439 and you're going to wonder what could've happened. 3018 01:34:39,441 --> 01:34:47,441 What you let go just because the timing wasn't right. 3019 01:34:47,482 --> 01:34:48,782 Beth, I miss you. 3020 01:34:48,784 --> 01:34:50,984 And I just... I want to go back to the way things were. 3021 01:34:50,986 --> 01:34:52,719 I want... I want to hang out with you. 3022 01:34:52,721 --> 01:34:53,853 I want to be around you. 3023 01:34:53,855 --> 01:34:58,525 And this way, if you decide one day 3024 01:34:58,527 --> 01:35:00,260 that you want more than you know what, 3025 01:35:00,262 --> 01:35:01,422 I'm going to be right here. 3026 01:35:06,935 --> 01:35:08,234 I don't... I don't want that. 3027 01:35:21,149 --> 01:35:23,316 I missed you too. 3028 01:35:23,318 --> 01:35:25,318 Are you sure about this? 3029 01:35:25,320 --> 01:35:26,320 No. 3030 01:35:28,657 --> 01:35:30,990 But I'm ready. 3031 01:35:30,992 --> 01:35:31,958 Hey, wait. 3032 01:35:31,960 --> 01:35:33,393 That... that guy who would, you know, 3033 01:35:33,395 --> 01:35:36,362 dress up in the California Raisins costume and, you know, 3034 01:35:36,364 --> 01:35:41,000 win fishbowl races... I... I liked that guy. 3035 01:35:41,002 --> 01:35:43,803 And I liked who I was around that guy. 3036 01:35:43,805 --> 01:35:47,040 He's not completely gone, is he? 3037 01:35:47,042 --> 01:35:48,074 Uh, no. 3038 01:35:48,076 --> 01:35:50,610 I mean, I just stole a bus and crashed 3039 01:35:50,612 --> 01:35:51,711 a party with my friends. 3040 01:35:51,713 --> 01:35:53,079 So I would say it's safe to say that this 3041 01:35:53,081 --> 01:35:53,913 is never gonna be boring. 3042 01:35:53,915 --> 01:35:54,915 [giggles] 3043 01:36:07,429 --> 01:36:09,389 I wonder what they're doing up there. 3044 01:36:13,435 --> 01:36:14,834 You guys are definitely gonna win 3045 01:36:14,836 --> 01:36:16,202 best couples costume tonight. 3046 01:36:16,204 --> 01:36:17,003 Us? 3047 01:36:17,005 --> 01:36:17,804 What are talking about? 3048 01:36:17,806 --> 01:36:18,772 You know who's the shoo-in? 3049 01:36:18,774 --> 01:36:19,606 Mook and Stephanie. 3050 01:36:19,608 --> 01:36:20,406 Look. 3051 01:36:20,408 --> 01:36:21,708 What? Yeah! 3052 01:36:21,710 --> 01:36:23,309 -Hahaha, yeah! -All right. 3053 01:36:23,311 --> 01:36:24,577 I don't mind being the fifth wheel 3054 01:36:24,579 --> 01:36:26,179 tonight, 'cause you guys all look amazing. 3055 01:36:26,181 --> 01:36:28,681 But I'm just saying, I'm very happy to be single on Halloween 3056 01:36:28,683 --> 01:36:29,482 night. 3057 01:36:29,484 --> 01:36:31,317 I got the winning costume. 3058 01:36:31,319 --> 01:36:32,418 It's not original, but... 3059 01:36:32,420 --> 01:36:34,120 Are you going to Lyle's Halloween party? 3060 01:36:34,122 --> 01:36:34,954 Me too. 3061 01:36:34,956 --> 01:36:35,755 Hey, what's up? 3062 01:36:35,757 --> 01:36:36,723 I'm Barrett. 3063 01:36:36,725 --> 01:36:37,657 Hey, Barrett. 3064 01:36:37,659 --> 01:36:39,993 I like what you got going on here. 3065 01:36:39,995 --> 01:36:40,894 OK. OK. 3066 01:36:40,896 --> 01:36:41,961 No, we're good. We're good here. 3067 01:36:41,963 --> 01:36:43,663 We're... -Hey, Elvis. 3068 01:36:43,665 --> 01:36:45,198 Howie's still gonna meet us with us after he's 3069 01:36:45,200 --> 01:36:46,032 done trick-or-treating? 3070 01:36:46,034 --> 01:36:47,200 That's the plan, but who knows? 3071 01:36:47,202 --> 01:36:48,001 Nice. 3072 01:36:48,003 --> 01:36:49,903 [horn tooting] 3073 01:36:49,905 --> 01:36:50,904 Howie! 3074 01:36:50,906 --> 01:36:51,871 [laughs] 3075 01:36:51,873 --> 01:36:53,072 Hey! 3076 01:36:53,074 --> 01:36:55,341 We've figured out the best way to trick-or-treat! 3077 01:36:55,343 --> 01:36:58,878 Come on board! 3078 01:36:58,880 --> 01:37:00,814 Oh, my god, what is this? 3079 01:37:00,816 --> 01:37:03,016 Only the best invention known to man. 3080 01:37:03,018 --> 01:37:04,150 Get up on that thing, girl! 3081 01:37:04,152 --> 01:37:04,951 STEPHANIE: Woo! 3082 01:37:04,953 --> 01:37:06,152 [both laugh] 3083 01:37:06,154 --> 01:37:07,754 So are you coming with us, or... 3084 01:37:07,756 --> 01:37:09,789 I'm not letting you out of my sight again. 3085 01:37:09,791 --> 01:37:11,124 Again? 3086 01:37:11,126 --> 01:37:14,027 So I gather this is not your first time on a barcycle. 3087 01:37:14,029 --> 01:37:15,995 No, and it's definitely gonna be my last. 3088 01:37:15,997 --> 01:37:18,164 Better not be. 3089 01:37:18,166 --> 01:37:19,232 All right. 3090 01:37:19,234 --> 01:37:23,102 We got to get one little kid candy pronto. 3091 01:37:23,104 --> 01:37:23,937 So peddle! 3092 01:37:23,939 --> 01:37:25,271 MOOK: Ooh, I want some candy! 3093 01:37:25,273 --> 01:37:26,272 I want candy! 3094 01:37:26,274 --> 01:37:27,307 BARRETT: Well, keep... Get your candy. 3095 01:37:27,309 --> 01:37:28,808 Just keep your pants on, Mook. 3096 01:37:28,810 --> 01:37:30,109 MOOK: No promises! 3097 01:37:30,111 --> 01:37:32,478 ADAM: But actually keep your pants on for real. 3098 01:37:32,480 --> 01:37:33,279 There a kid around. 3099 01:37:33,281 --> 01:37:38,284 [music playing] 3099 01:37:39,305 --> 01:37:45,732 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/7zjv4 Help other users to choose the best subtitles 206976