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DRE: Parenting. It's probably
the most important part
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00:00:05,891 --> 00:00:07,460
of being a parent.
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00:00:07,570 --> 00:00:10,773
And growing up, my mom
parented the hell out of me.
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00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,047
Little boy! You got homework!
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00:00:13,432 --> 00:00:16,666
And you made me ruin my oatmeal mask.
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00:00:16,702 --> 00:00:19,355
So, now, I'm gonna ruin your ass.
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So, now that I'm a parent,
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I demand the same good behavior
from my kids...
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especially at our school's
pancake breakfast fundraisers.
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00:00:27,833 --> 00:00:31,201
Okay, guys. How do we cut our food?
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BOTH: Continental style. Tines down.
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Mm-hmm. And remember, chew
each bite at least 40 times.
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- Yeah.
- I-I-I have oatmeal.
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00:00:40,045 --> 00:00:41,111
- Chew it.
- Mm-hmm.
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That's how you become a winner in life.
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00:00:42,648 --> 00:00:43,517
Yep.
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Unlike your weirdo classmates over there.
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00:00:45,854 --> 00:00:47,951
[BELL CHIMES]
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00:00:47,986 --> 00:00:51,021
Jar put his boots
right on the table. Baller.
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00:00:51,056 --> 00:00:54,758
Hey, don't you worry about
what Jar is doing.
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00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,893
That's "White Breakfast."
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00:00:56,929 --> 00:00:59,830
You just sit back and enjoy
your "Black Breakfast".
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00:00:59,865 --> 00:01:02,432
And remember, if you ever misbehave,
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00:01:02,468 --> 00:01:05,902
it's a reflection on
our entire community.
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00:01:05,938 --> 00:01:07,504
Wha... how...
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00:01:07,539 --> 00:01:08,939
Ooh!
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00:01:08,974 --> 00:01:11,641
Handle it.
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00:01:11,677 --> 00:01:13,577
Excuse me.
29
00:01:13,612 --> 00:01:19,916
Hi. Your daughter just took
my bacon and broke my yolk.
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It's okay. She believes
in communal food.
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00:01:22,121 --> 00:01:24,521
Really? Well, here's the thing...
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I think that's stupid.
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Father, may we please be excused
to use the lavatory?
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Of course you may, my children.
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[GIGGLES]
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I am so proud that
we are raising perfect kids.
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When you know right, you do right.
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- Cheers!
- Cheerio!
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00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:48,145
And since my system works
and my kids never misbehave,
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00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:50,914
I never expected this news
from their teacher...
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00:01:50,949 --> 00:01:53,750
I caught these kids showing these kids
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00:01:53,786 --> 00:01:55,352
how to spray paint the bathroom.
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00:01:55,387 --> 00:01:57,354
Now, I won't tell you
what they were painting,
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00:01:57,389 --> 00:02:01,191
but, Mr. Johnson, you have one,
and, Mrs. Johnson, you don't.
45
00:02:03,462 --> 00:02:07,497
You spray paint a bathroom?!
46
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I burn your clothes.
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[FIRE WHIRS AND CRACKLES]
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- [BOTH GASP]
- [DRE LAUGHS]
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:20,112 --> 00:02:25,828
Now, for the fun part.
Give me your favorites.
51
00:02:25,883 --> 00:02:29,419
Oh, this is really gonna hurt, guys!
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No. Your real favorites,
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not the crap that your mother buys you.
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Goodbye, yellow dress and baseball bat
55
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that made me feel like Beyoncé.
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JACK: [VOICE BREAKING]
So long, camo pajamas.
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00:02:40,632 --> 00:02:43,667
I guess I'll see you in my dreams...
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[NORMAL VOICE] unless I dream
about a forest.
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00:02:45,838 --> 00:02:47,971
Let them burn!
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00:02:48,006 --> 00:02:53,109
We raised you to follow rules
and obey authority.
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00:02:53,145 --> 00:02:55,111
What got into you?
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00:02:55,147 --> 00:02:56,346
We were just...
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00:02:56,381 --> 00:02:59,149
Sit yo' five-dollar ass down
before I make change!
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00:02:59,184 --> 00:03:01,218
We only did it because George
and Jar were doing it.
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00:03:01,253 --> 00:03:03,787
BOTH: Ugh. George and Jar?!
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00:03:03,822 --> 00:03:06,523
They are a bad influence on you guys.
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00:03:06,558 --> 00:03:08,225
You can't see them anymore.
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00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:12,128
Oh, that won't be hard,
because you're grounded.
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00:03:12,164 --> 00:03:14,664
For six months.
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00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:18,301
Yeah! Half a year, bitches!
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B-B-Babies!
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00:03:19,872 --> 00:03:21,638
No, no, no, stick with it.
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00:03:21,673 --> 00:03:24,307
And that is the gist
of the American Revolution.
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00:03:27,846 --> 00:03:30,413
Thank you for your enthusiasm, Andre.
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00:03:30,449 --> 00:03:32,749
All right, guys,
read chapter 13 for tomorrow.
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00:03:37,356 --> 00:03:40,657
That was amazing.
I mean, there was just something
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about the way you taught it
that was, like,
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00:03:42,661 --> 00:03:44,794
"Were we gonna be free of British rule?
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00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:46,162
I don't know!"
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00:03:46,198 --> 00:03:49,699
Okay, I am gonna get
this monstrosity to the car.
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00:03:49,735 --> 00:03:51,234
Can you believe it fits in a hatchback?
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00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:52,669
Well, um, let me help you.
83
00:03:52,704 --> 00:03:55,705
I'm actually in the market
for a new whip.
84
00:03:55,741 --> 00:03:58,141
Really looking at the hatchback brand.
85
00:03:58,176 --> 00:04:00,744
- Yeah.
- So, what kind of music do you listen to?
86
00:04:00,779 --> 00:04:03,213
Um, I'm really into '90s gangsta rap.
87
00:04:03,248 --> 00:04:04,681
Oh, yeah.
88
00:04:04,716 --> 00:04:07,117
What up? Whoo-hoo! West side!
89
00:04:07,152 --> 00:04:07,918
[CHUCKLES]
90
00:04:07,953 --> 00:04:09,586
- Argh!
- Oh, my God.
91
00:04:09,621 --> 00:04:10,987
- Yeah.
- Okay.
92
00:04:11,023 --> 00:04:12,689
All right. Let's get this
to your car, yeah.
93
00:04:12,724 --> 00:04:13,924
Thank you.
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00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:15,992
Whoo! Hey, guys.
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00:04:16,028 --> 00:04:18,028
Whoa, you're in a good mood.
96
00:04:18,063 --> 00:04:19,763
Why wouldn't I be?
97
00:04:19,798 --> 00:04:22,933
- I finally broke my kids.
- Mm!
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00:04:22,968 --> 00:04:24,935
Why would you want
to break your children?
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00:04:24,970 --> 00:04:27,170
So they could be better at life.
100
00:04:27,205 --> 00:04:29,139
That never actually worked for me, Dre.
101
00:04:29,174 --> 00:04:31,574
I mean, I tried to be
the authority figure, you know.
102
00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:34,110
Always saying stuff like,
"Hey, brush your teeth"
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00:04:34,146 --> 00:04:36,179
or "They're going to ban you
from the mall".
104
00:04:36,214 --> 00:04:38,548
But if you're too strict with your kids,
105
00:04:38,583 --> 00:04:40,917
they won't think you're cool, you know.
106
00:04:40,953 --> 00:04:43,253
- Boom!
- Whoa!
107
00:04:43,288 --> 00:04:44,421
Cool dab, Dad.
108
00:04:44,456 --> 00:04:46,656
Either your fly or you're not fly.
109
00:04:46,692 --> 00:04:50,026
I don't care what my kids think.
They don't get to think.
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00:04:50,062 --> 00:04:51,428
I think for them.
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00:04:51,463 --> 00:04:54,764
I wish somebody would think
for me... or even about me.
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00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,100
I didn't get to have a thought
until I was 15
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and my mother was away
on a church weekend.
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00:04:59,638 --> 00:05:02,038
Then, when she came home
and found out I was thinking,
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00:05:02,074 --> 00:05:03,540
she slapped the thoughts
right out of me.
116
00:05:03,575 --> 00:05:05,942
- Ooh.
- Didn't think again till college.
117
00:05:05,978 --> 00:05:08,044
Mm. I didn't have my first thought
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00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,313
until after my mother died.
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Then I was slapped by her ghost.
120
00:05:12,017 --> 00:05:13,650
You would think it'd go
right through you.
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00:05:13,685 --> 00:05:15,452
It does not.
122
00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:17,554
Her ghost wore a ring.
123
00:05:17,589 --> 00:05:22,359
Okay, Charlie, how... because
the ring is real and the ghost,
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00:05:22,394 --> 00:05:24,194
it would just fall... not work.
125
00:05:24,229 --> 00:05:27,897
No. It was a ring from Tiffany's.
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00:05:27,933 --> 00:05:29,232
Tiffany is dead, too.
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00:05:34,272 --> 00:05:36,006
Thanks for the ride.
128
00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:38,174
So, did you like it?
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00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:39,876
Like what?
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00:05:39,911 --> 00:05:40,844
The Hyundai.
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00:05:40,879 --> 00:05:44,047
I loved it. Really hugs the road.
132
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,416
- Yeah.
- Well, thanks for the ride.
133
00:05:49,054 --> 00:05:51,821
It... The door sticks.
Here. Let me help you.
134
00:05:54,893 --> 00:05:55,992
Just trying to...
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00:05:59,564 --> 00:06:02,732
What in Luther Vandross' name?!
136
00:06:06,671 --> 00:06:08,738
Who was that grown-ass woman?
137
00:06:08,774 --> 00:06:12,042
Oh, that's just Barbara,
my history teacher.
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00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:13,943
Barbara? [CHUCKLES]
139
00:06:13,979 --> 00:06:16,287
Oh, so, now we're calling
grown-ass teachers
140
00:06:16,323 --> 00:06:18,390
by their first names?
141
00:06:18,425 --> 00:06:20,016
Well, she likes to be relatable.
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00:06:20,052 --> 00:06:22,852
Oh, I'm sure she does.
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00:06:22,888 --> 00:06:26,289
I saw the way she looked at you.
And when she leaned over
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00:06:26,324 --> 00:06:30,393
to open the car door, she lingered.
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00:06:30,429 --> 00:06:33,696
She did not linger, Grandma.
Her... Her door sticks.
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00:06:33,732 --> 00:06:35,031
She's into you.
147
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:38,068
Yeah, right. Grandma, you're
reading too much into things.
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00:06:38,103 --> 00:06:42,005
Oh, no. I know my lingerers.
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00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,683
Hell, I linger.
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00:06:45,719 --> 00:06:46,654
[APPLAUSE]
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00:06:46,679 --> 00:06:48,845
Even though I stopped Jack and Diane
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00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,122
from hanging out with George and Jar,
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00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:53,283
I still had to see their dumb faces
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00:06:53,318 --> 00:06:55,351
at the dumb science fair.
155
00:06:55,387 --> 00:06:58,782
And our next science project
is from George and Jar.
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00:06:58,813 --> 00:07:02,692
♪
157
00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:11,367
Ugh. These two.
158
00:07:11,403 --> 00:07:12,635
You see what happens
159
00:07:12,671 --> 00:07:15,972
when your parents don't love you
enough to beat you?
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00:07:16,007 --> 00:07:17,340
You're welcome.
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00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:20,700
...just upload your drawing,
and the app we created
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00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:23,279
will transform it into the style
of any artist.
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00:07:23,315 --> 00:07:25,515
Want to paint like Picasso?
164
00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:27,550
You just did it.
165
00:07:27,586 --> 00:07:28,551
Rembrandt!
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00:07:32,357 --> 00:07:35,291
Basquiat!
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00:07:35,327 --> 00:07:36,759
- Oh, my God.
- No way.
168
00:07:36,795 --> 00:07:38,002
I need this.
169
00:07:38,038 --> 00:07:39,003
Me, too.
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00:07:39,039 --> 00:07:40,497
Boom!
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00:07:40,532 --> 00:07:42,966
Okay, guys, guys.
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00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:47,337
So, George and Jar's
idea is... It's okay.
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00:07:47,372 --> 00:07:48,538
Yeah?
174
00:07:48,573 --> 00:07:49,939
What... What are you guys
presenting for next week?
175
00:07:49,975 --> 00:07:51,774
Ours is on a whole nother level.
176
00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:52,742
Yeah.
177
00:07:52,777 --> 00:07:53,977
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
178
00:07:54,012 --> 00:07:55,678
- Okay.
- Okay. What is it?
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00:07:55,714 --> 00:07:57,514
Baking soda volcano.
180
00:08:00,385 --> 00:08:01,584
Boom.
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00:08:05,464 --> 00:08:07,471
DRE: I look good,
even with an apple face.
182
00:08:07,511 --> 00:08:09,611
- Yeah.
- This should be our Christmas card.
183
00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:11,899
Yeah. Okay.
184
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:16,526
George and Jar used coding,
art history, algorithms.
185
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:17,794
Jack and Diane are, like,
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00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,096
two steps away from being flat-earthers.
187
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Baking soda volcano.
188
00:08:22,267 --> 00:08:23,366
So dumb!
189
00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:25,810
I can't believe our kids
are thinking so small.
190
00:08:25,846 --> 00:08:27,070
Well, I can, Dre.
191
00:08:27,114 --> 00:08:28,204
Huh?
192
00:08:28,229 --> 00:08:30,663
You tell them over and over again
193
00:08:30,698 --> 00:08:32,865
they shouldn't think until college.
194
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:34,934
You act like this house
is a communist country.
195
00:08:34,977 --> 00:08:35,916
[SIGHS]
196
00:08:35,941 --> 00:08:38,279
By trying to make them perfect,
we've been holding them back.
197
00:08:38,314 --> 00:08:40,114
Yeah. God.
198
00:08:40,149 --> 00:08:43,217
You know, this is
straight out of that article
199
00:08:43,252 --> 00:08:44,418
that I e-mailed you.
200
00:08:44,454 --> 00:08:45,486
Yes.
201
00:08:45,521 --> 00:08:46,821
Straight out of that article.
202
00:08:49,484 --> 00:08:50,516
You didn't read it, did you?
203
00:08:50,551 --> 00:08:52,418
Ah, damn it, Bow, you e-mail me so much.
204
00:08:52,453 --> 00:08:54,653
- What?
- "Can you pick up Junior today?"
205
00:08:54,697 --> 00:08:56,622
Uh, "Junior's still waiting."
206
00:08:56,657 --> 00:08:59,133
"There's a strange man who
dropped Junior off in a van."
207
00:08:59,168 --> 00:09:04,397
Well, anyway, the article
was saying that Black children
208
00:09:04,432 --> 00:09:06,707
are more afraid of authority,
afraid to take risks.
209
00:09:06,743 --> 00:09:08,509
- Mm-hmm.
- I just... I think we should
210
00:09:08,544 --> 00:09:10,978
loosen our grip on our children,
211
00:09:11,013 --> 00:09:13,581
and then, maybe, they can
become innovators.
212
00:09:13,616 --> 00:09:14,615
- Hmm.
- Who knows?
213
00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:16,517
Maybe one of them is
the next Steve Jobs.
214
00:09:16,552 --> 00:09:18,152
[INHALES SHARPLY]
215
00:09:18,187 --> 00:09:20,221
- I love Steve Jobs.
- I know.
216
00:09:20,256 --> 00:09:23,457
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the future.
217
00:09:23,493 --> 00:09:24,558
[CHUCKLES]
218
00:09:24,594 --> 00:09:25,993
[HUSHED] I-I've asked you
a million times
219
00:09:26,028 --> 00:09:28,162
not to dress like this
when Microsoft is here.
220
00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:29,630
[LAUGHS]
221
00:09:29,665 --> 00:09:30,798
Dress like what?
222
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:32,099
Great news, guys.
223
00:09:32,135 --> 00:09:33,567
You're no longer grounded.
224
00:09:33,603 --> 00:09:35,903
We are giving you the freedom to go out
225
00:09:35,938 --> 00:09:36,937
and win this science fair.
226
00:09:36,973 --> 00:09:38,339
Doesn't that sound great?
227
00:09:38,374 --> 00:09:40,541
- Mm-hmm.
- What's the move here?
228
00:09:40,576 --> 00:09:42,076
Are we allowed to talk?
229
00:09:42,111 --> 00:09:43,144
DIANE: I don't know.
230
00:09:43,179 --> 00:09:45,279
- This feels like a trap.
- No. No, no, no.
231
00:09:45,314 --> 00:09:48,115
We want you to talk and think
and have a voice.
232
00:09:48,151 --> 00:09:50,184
- Yes!
- Your voice matters.
233
00:09:50,219 --> 00:09:51,719
It matters, guys.
234
00:09:51,754 --> 00:09:52,987
- Aww!
- Uh-huh.
235
00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:55,055
- That's so nice.
- Yes!
236
00:09:55,091 --> 00:09:57,691
- Definitely a trap.
- No, no.
237
00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,860
Guys, go!
238
00:09:59,896 --> 00:10:04,598
- Yes.
- Go! Just dream. Discover!
239
00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:07,134
And if you are gonna do a volcano,
240
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:09,503
don't just build the volcano...
241
00:10:09,539 --> 00:10:13,007
- Mnh-mnh.
- ...be the volcano! Psssh!
242
00:10:13,042 --> 00:10:16,769
Do whatever you want to do,
just as long as it's cooler...
243
00:10:16,804 --> 00:10:18,437
- Mm-hmm.
- ...than George and Jar.
244
00:10:18,473 --> 00:10:20,773
Please. Like, seriously, please.
245
00:10:20,808 --> 00:10:21,740
Mm-hmm.
246
00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:22,875
[DOOR CLOSES]
247
00:10:22,910 --> 00:10:25,010
So, did you dump your little girlfriend?
248
00:10:25,046 --> 00:10:26,979
She's not my girlfriend.
249
00:10:27,014 --> 00:10:30,549
But if I'm being honest,
I think I might have a shot.
250
00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:33,786
JUNIOR: She asked me to stay
after class to erase the board,
251
00:10:33,821 --> 00:10:37,022
but I think she was coming on to me.
252
00:10:37,058 --> 00:10:38,557
It's nice to have a tall guy around.
253
00:10:40,728 --> 00:10:42,561
Yeah, somebody has a shot...
254
00:10:42,597 --> 00:10:44,897
your teacher... at jail.
255
00:10:48,970 --> 00:10:51,937
Let me tell you a little story.
256
00:10:51,973 --> 00:10:56,175
Once upon a time, Grandma was
a sophomore in high school
257
00:10:56,210 --> 00:10:58,244
and fully developed.
258
00:10:58,279 --> 00:10:59,245
Ew.
259
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,214
Male teachers noticed,
260
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:04,316
especially Mr. Whittset.
261
00:11:04,352 --> 00:11:07,353
Now, I noticed him noticing me,
262
00:11:07,388 --> 00:11:11,365
and one night, we noticed a movie.
263
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,302
To make a long story short,
he lost his kids,
264
00:11:15,338 --> 00:11:19,807
and thanks to me, my school
didn't have a math department.
265
00:11:19,842 --> 00:11:22,309
Now, do you get what I'm saying?
266
00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:24,378
You know I don't.
267
00:11:24,413 --> 00:11:28,249
[STERNLY] Stay away from Ms. Barbara.
268
00:11:28,284 --> 00:11:30,618
[NORMAL VOICE] I'm not gonna
let you murder someone's husband
269
00:11:30,653 --> 00:11:32,987
so your teacher can get out
of a bad marriage.
270
00:11:33,022 --> 00:11:35,122
Now get up and get on out of here!
271
00:11:35,157 --> 00:11:37,383
Pull your pants up!
272
00:11:37,418 --> 00:11:39,159
[LAUGHS]
273
00:11:39,195 --> 00:11:40,561
Hello, wunderkinds.
274
00:11:40,596 --> 00:11:41,954
Hey, hey, hey!
275
00:11:41,989 --> 00:11:45,499
What is cooking up in
the imagination station, huh?
276
00:11:45,535 --> 00:11:47,359
Come on, man, you don't
have to work at the desk.
277
00:11:47,395 --> 00:11:49,069
Come on. Go sit on the ball.
278
00:11:49,105 --> 00:11:51,130
All right? Write on your bed.
279
00:11:51,165 --> 00:11:53,173
Yeah, guys! Loosen up, you know?
280
00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:54,341
- Mm-hmm.
- I don't know...
281
00:11:54,377 --> 00:11:57,177
kick a hacky sack, ride a Segway,
282
00:11:57,213 --> 00:11:59,413
Ping-Pong table, you know what I mean?
283
00:11:59,448 --> 00:12:01,115
Hey! A little brain jazz!
284
00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:02,149
[CHUCKLES]
285
00:12:02,184 --> 00:12:04,585
[BOTH SCATTING]
286
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:06,587
Uh, are you guys on drugs?
287
00:12:06,622 --> 00:12:07,688
- No!
- Mnh-mnh.
288
00:12:07,723 --> 00:12:09,256
All right, we're just saying "Be free."
289
00:12:09,292 --> 00:12:10,591
- Yeah.
- You can do anything.
290
00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:12,526
- Anything.
- A-Anything?
291
00:12:12,562 --> 00:12:13,694
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
292
00:12:13,729 --> 00:12:16,530
So, I can wear my Nike shorts
with my Adidas slides?
293
00:12:16,566 --> 00:12:17,665
Yeah. Yes, yes, yes... no...
294
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,033
- Ah, hell no...
- No, baby...
295
00:12:19,068 --> 00:12:20,901
Babe, innovators don't need to
match their athletic gear.
296
00:12:20,937 --> 00:12:24,138
He's not innovating!
297
00:12:24,173 --> 00:12:26,473
Okay, this is gonna be
tougher than I thought.
298
00:12:26,509 --> 00:12:27,608
- Dre...
- Huh?
299
00:12:27,643 --> 00:12:30,611
- ...it is worth it.
- Okay.
300
00:12:30,646 --> 00:12:34,014
DRE: Our kids had been coloring
inside the lines for so long...
301
00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:36,984
- Unh-unh.
- ...we needed to jump-start their creativity.
302
00:12:39,822 --> 00:12:43,624
Outside the box.
303
00:12:43,659 --> 00:12:47,494
Ah, much better.
304
00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:48,684
- Dad...
- Hmm?
305
00:12:48,709 --> 00:12:52,199
...we've been pacing for two hours.
Are you sure this works?
306
00:12:52,234 --> 00:12:55,569
This is how everyone brainstorms
in Silicon Valley, all right?
307
00:12:55,605 --> 00:12:58,372
If you have a static body,
you have a static mind.
308
00:12:58,407 --> 00:12:59,873
I think I'm gonna pass out.
309
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,208
Great. Use it.
310
00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:03,577
The best ideas come in a dream state.
311
00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:05,479
I'm dream-walking right now.
312
00:13:05,514 --> 00:13:07,381
Our plan was working.
313
00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:10,517
Our kids were turning
into free thinkers.
314
00:13:10,553 --> 00:13:12,252
Here, sign this.
315
00:13:12,288 --> 00:13:15,422
We got detention
for thinking too freely.
316
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:18,225
Okay, today we're gonna read "Sounder."
317
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:19,326
[GROANS]
318
00:13:19,362 --> 00:13:20,761
We just read "Old Yeller."
319
00:13:20,796 --> 00:13:24,164
Seems like we've been reading
a lot of novels about dead dogs.
320
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,034
How come we're not reading
novels written by dead dogs?
321
00:13:27,069 --> 00:13:28,502
Are you on drugs?
322
00:13:28,537 --> 00:13:30,337
Are you?
323
00:13:30,373 --> 00:13:31,905
Now I feel like
I want to do drugs again,
324
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,407
if I'm being real with y'all.
325
00:13:33,442 --> 00:13:36,443
Normally, I would be pissed...
326
00:13:36,479 --> 00:13:37,778
but I'm proud of you!
327
00:13:37,813 --> 00:13:39,046
[LAUGHS]
328
00:13:39,081 --> 00:13:42,683
But next time, question White authority.
329
00:13:42,718 --> 00:13:45,653
But this is a good start.
330
00:13:45,688 --> 00:13:47,154
- All right.
- Come on.
331
00:13:47,189 --> 00:13:49,452
Bring it in. Bring it in. Aah!
332
00:13:50,893 --> 00:13:52,793
So, when it was Jack and Diane's turn
333
00:13:52,828 --> 00:13:54,428
to present at STEM Sunday,
334
00:13:54,463 --> 00:13:56,964
we knew they were going to
blow everyone away,
335
00:13:56,999 --> 00:13:59,533
and we'd record every minute of it.
336
00:13:59,568 --> 00:14:01,602
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
337
00:14:01,637 --> 00:14:03,170
Volcano.
338
00:14:03,205 --> 00:14:06,073
Triggered by the convergence
or the divergence
339
00:14:06,108 --> 00:14:08,242
of the Earth's tectonic plates.
340
00:14:08,277 --> 00:14:13,414
Gases and magma erupt through a vent.
341
00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:14,640
Please stand by.
342
00:14:14,675 --> 00:14:16,350
You're about to witness an eruption.
343
00:14:16,385 --> 00:14:22,718
- [SIREN BLARES]
- [ROBOT VOICE] 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
344
00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:24,890
Puberty.
345
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:29,455
The convergence or divergence
of the body's tectonic plates.
346
00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:31,590
Emotions erupt through a vent.
347
00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:34,727
Hormones. Boy crushes. Enemies.
348
00:14:34,762 --> 00:14:35,794
Frienemies.
349
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:38,630
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
350
00:14:38,666 --> 00:14:40,274
Okay. Um...
351
00:14:40,309 --> 00:14:41,909
[LAUGHS]
352
00:14:41,944 --> 00:14:45,145
I don't want to be one of those
parents who films everything.
353
00:14:45,181 --> 00:14:47,014
Lava.
354
00:14:47,049 --> 00:14:48,015
Java.
355
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:49,817
Kava.
356
00:14:49,852 --> 00:14:51,076
Guava.
357
00:14:51,112 --> 00:14:53,386
Maybe you shouldn't, either.
You shouldn't.
358
00:14:53,411 --> 00:14:54,880
Are you starting to get it?
359
00:14:54,915 --> 00:14:55,881
- Nope.
- No.
360
00:14:55,916 --> 00:14:57,149
Drano.
361
00:14:57,184 --> 00:14:59,518
Insane-o.
362
00:14:59,553 --> 00:15:01,286
BOTH: Volcano.
363
00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,433
Uh...
364
00:15:06,469 --> 00:15:07,601
Very nice.
365
00:15:07,636 --> 00:15:10,637
♪
366
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:18,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
367
00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:20,219
- Oh, wow!
- Wow.
368
00:15:20,255 --> 00:15:22,365
- You... you guys did it!
- [LAUGHS]
369
00:15:22,412 --> 00:15:25,281
- Yeah, you were up there, okay?
- Uh-huh.
370
00:15:25,335 --> 00:15:27,938
You were on that stage.
371
00:15:27,963 --> 00:15:29,963
[LAUGHING] On the stage.
372
00:15:30,032 --> 00:15:31,698
- "You were up there"?
- Uh-huh.
373
00:15:31,734 --> 00:15:34,301
You really think an accurate
description of our location
374
00:15:34,336 --> 00:15:36,336
is what's going to pass as a compliment?
375
00:15:36,371 --> 00:15:37,571
- Oh.
- Uh, we...
376
00:15:37,606 --> 00:15:39,072
we were living in the moment.
We... You don't...
377
00:15:39,108 --> 00:15:40,340
We know you hated it.
378
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:41,808
- N...
- And I looked into the crowd
379
00:15:41,844 --> 00:15:44,444
and saw your faces where your
iPhones should've been.
380
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:45,545
Hurtful.
381
00:15:45,581 --> 00:15:48,142
- My... M-My battery was dead.
- Oh, okay.
382
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:52,899
Listen, guys,
not every experiment succeeds.
383
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,595
- No.
- But you never know if this is gonna
384
00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:55,990
lead to something else.
385
00:15:55,991 --> 00:15:56,957
- I mean...
- Mm-hmm.
386
00:15:56,992 --> 00:15:58,927
...like... Viagra...
387
00:15:58,952 --> 00:16:00,099
- Uh, what?
- ...was s-supposed...
388
00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:04,097
supposed to be
a blood-pressure medication.
389
00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:05,298
What's Viagra?
390
00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:07,801
I don't need it. Okay? I don't.
391
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:10,771
But the fact is, you took a risk.
392
00:16:10,847 --> 00:16:13,621
No. We took your risk.
393
00:16:13,646 --> 00:16:14,637
Oh.
394
00:16:14,676 --> 00:16:16,343
We wanted to do a baking-soda volcano.
395
00:16:16,378 --> 00:16:20,213
And congratulations to
our winners, Chloe and Rose,
396
00:16:20,248 --> 00:16:22,582
for their classic baking-soda volcano.
397
00:16:22,618 --> 00:16:24,284
Uh...
398
00:16:24,319 --> 00:16:27,954
Looks like they just won
for the thing you wanted to do.
399
00:16:27,990 --> 00:16:31,057
That was a hot mess, y'all... hot mess.
400
00:16:31,093 --> 00:16:33,660
RAINBOW: Yeah.
401
00:16:33,695 --> 00:16:35,128
Wow.
402
00:16:35,163 --> 00:16:37,631
That was rough.
403
00:16:37,666 --> 00:16:39,599
Dre, we pushed them way too hard.
404
00:16:39,635 --> 00:16:42,602
And that bizarre display of nonsense
405
00:16:42,638 --> 00:16:44,838
wasn't what they wanted.
That was what we wanted.
406
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,172
And why did we want that?
407
00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:49,676
Dre, I wanted our babies
to know that they can fly.
408
00:16:49,711 --> 00:16:52,379
Well, gravity won that round.
409
00:16:52,414 --> 00:16:55,782
You know, growing up,
I did whatever my mother said.
410
00:16:55,817 --> 00:16:57,350
- Mm-hmm.
- I played it safe,
411
00:16:57,386 --> 00:17:00,520
just like she wanted me to,
and it worked.
412
00:17:00,555 --> 00:17:01,821
I survived.
413
00:17:01,857 --> 00:17:04,824
Even when she wanted me
to get that safe government job,
414
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:06,226
I took it.
415
00:17:06,261 --> 00:17:09,996
Then, I realized that,
if I wanted to be happy,
416
00:17:10,032 --> 00:17:13,299
I needed to defy her
and do my own thing.
417
00:17:13,335 --> 00:17:14,634
You know, it was the opposite for me.
418
00:17:14,670 --> 00:17:17,037
- Hmm?
- My parents didn't give me any structure.
419
00:17:17,072 --> 00:17:18,838
Baby, you were basically feral.
420
00:17:18,874 --> 00:17:20,040
I wasn't feral.
421
00:17:21,043 --> 00:17:22,042
Yeah, okay, fine.
422
00:17:22,077 --> 00:17:24,811
So, I... I didn't...
I didn't wear shoes.
423
00:17:24,846 --> 00:17:27,380
- And?
- And I had a pet chicken,
424
00:17:27,416 --> 00:17:29,282
and I didn't see a clock
till I was 13, but...
425
00:17:29,317 --> 00:17:31,117
- Feral.
- Yeah, all right, fine.
426
00:17:31,153 --> 00:17:34,521
So, I defied my parents
by going into the strictest,
427
00:17:34,556 --> 00:17:37,223
most disciplined profession
in the world.
428
00:17:37,259 --> 00:17:39,259
Okay, you're just a doctor.
429
00:17:39,294 --> 00:17:41,094
And not even a doctor
that does brain stuff.
430
00:17:41,129 --> 00:17:42,762
Okay, Dre, well, you know what?
431
00:17:42,798 --> 00:17:45,432
You had too much structure,
I didn't have enough structure,
432
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:47,867
so what are we gonna give our kids?
433
00:17:47,903 --> 00:17:49,436
- I don't know.
- Hmm.
434
00:17:49,471 --> 00:17:52,105
I guess we could tell them
that we're gonna root for them
435
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:53,606
even if they break away from us.
436
00:17:53,642 --> 00:17:55,775
As long as they don't eat
off of strangers' plates...
437
00:17:55,811 --> 00:17:58,745
- Mm-hmm.
- ...and mix athletic brands, all right?
438
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:01,381
I cannot have them looking like
Eastern Europeans.
439
00:18:02,451 --> 00:18:04,184
♪
440
00:18:04,219 --> 00:18:05,585
Hey.
441
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:09,923
Did you dump Barbara,
or am I driving a getaway car?
442
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:12,192
We had a conversation.
443
00:18:12,227 --> 00:18:14,427
Barbara...
444
00:18:14,463 --> 00:18:16,029
this has to stop.
445
00:18:16,064 --> 00:18:18,098
What has to stop?
446
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:21,301
Maybe, in an alternate universe,
we could be together.
447
00:18:21,336 --> 00:18:24,971
We could rent a condo by the beach.
448
00:18:25,006 --> 00:18:27,173
When I'm 40, you'll be 47.
449
00:18:27,209 --> 00:18:29,309
That's not unreasonable.
450
00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:31,745
So, let's put this on hold until then.
451
00:18:33,782 --> 00:18:35,915
What are you talking about?
452
00:18:35,951 --> 00:18:37,784
Andre, you're my student.
453
00:18:37,819 --> 00:18:40,820
It never crossed my mind.
454
00:18:40,856 --> 00:18:44,624
[SCOFFS] Yeah. Me, neither.
455
00:18:44,659 --> 00:18:47,327
What would we even do in that condo?
456
00:18:47,362 --> 00:18:48,928
[GROANS]
457
00:18:48,964 --> 00:18:51,331
Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.
458
00:18:51,366 --> 00:18:54,033
Nah, it's cool,
'cause I noticed something.
459
00:18:54,069 --> 00:18:55,835
Can you erase the top
of the board for me?
460
00:18:55,871 --> 00:18:56,870
Thanks.
461
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:06,212
♪
462
00:19:06,248 --> 00:19:09,682
Grandma, I think I may be
a piece of ass.
463
00:19:09,718 --> 00:19:12,085
Oh! A piece of ass?
464
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,521
Welcome to the club. [LAUGHS]
465
00:19:14,556 --> 00:19:17,123
It's a blessing...
466
00:19:17,175 --> 00:19:19,219
and a curse.
467
00:19:19,274 --> 00:19:22,028
♪
468
00:19:22,063 --> 00:19:24,798
We realized we didn't have to
be so strict all the time,
469
00:19:24,833 --> 00:19:26,699
especially when we were having pancakes.
470
00:19:26,735 --> 00:19:27,834
Are you sure?
471
00:19:27,869 --> 00:19:29,435
Mm-hmm. Go for it.
472
00:19:31,506 --> 00:19:33,873
Go ahead... put your elbows
on the table.
473
00:19:33,909 --> 00:19:35,175
Mm-hmm.
474
00:19:35,210 --> 00:19:37,110
Hmm.
475
00:19:37,145 --> 00:19:38,278
Wow.
476
00:19:38,313 --> 00:19:39,946
My back pain just went away.
477
00:19:39,981 --> 00:19:42,682
You guys can chew as much
or as little as you'd like.
478
00:19:42,717 --> 00:19:43,817
- Mm-hmm.
- Thanks, Mom.
479
00:19:43,852 --> 00:19:47,353
- Mm-hmm.
- This is gonna be fun.
480
00:19:47,389 --> 00:19:49,355
[COUGHS, GASPS]
481
00:19:52,519 --> 00:19:55,102
- Rules are there to protect us.
- DRE: Mm-hmm.
482
00:19:55,907 --> 00:19:58,485
All right. Let's see what's so important
483
00:19:58,525 --> 00:20:01,960
that your mother had to put
in an e-mail rather than text.
484
00:20:02,824 --> 00:20:05,314
- Oh. Wow.
- [DEVANTE COOS]
485
00:20:05,378 --> 00:20:08,267
I missed a lot of
parent/teacher conferences.
486
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:11,533
Hmm. Mm.
487
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:15,402
Jack had scabies? Ugh!
488
00:20:15,472 --> 00:20:19,008
All right, hopefully that didn't
spread to... Yep, mm-hmm.
489
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:21,043
Diane got it, too.
490
00:20:21,078 --> 00:20:25,581
I have 900 unread e-mails
from your mommy.
491
00:20:25,616 --> 00:20:28,884
Oh. You know what?
492
00:20:28,919 --> 00:20:32,588
Uh, Devante... No! No, Devante!
493
00:20:32,623 --> 00:20:35,924
No. Don't you put your hands
on my keyboard.
494
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,260
What? Drag that to the trash?
495
00:20:38,295 --> 00:20:39,661
Mnh-mnh! N...
496
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:43,932
- [COMPUTER PLAYS NOISE]
- Uh-oh! You deleted them.
497
00:20:43,968 --> 00:20:46,368
You're such a good boy. [CHUCKLES]
498
00:20:46,404 --> 00:20:48,437
So advanced. You know what?
499
00:20:48,472 --> 00:20:52,074
You're gonna be the next Steve Jobs.
500
00:20:52,109 --> 00:20:55,144
Let's go find you a turtleneck.
501
00:20:55,179 --> 00:20:57,179
How do you get out of here?
502
00:20:57,248 --> 00:20:58,447
It's cool.
503
00:20:58,482 --> 00:20:59,481
I know how to do it.
504
00:20:59,517 --> 00:21:01,083
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Let's go.
504
00:21:02,305 --> 00:21:08,488
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