Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:02,890
According to this gossip column,
2
00:00:02,910 --> 00:00:06,200
my nemesis, Miles, is dating Lisa Loeb.
3
00:00:06,250 --> 00:00:07,280
The Lisa Loeb.
4
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:09,950
Songbird. Sex in glasses.
5
00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:12,780
Meanwhile, I have had zero bangs
6
00:00:12,860 --> 00:00:16,250
since moving to this
garbage pile of a town.
7
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,500
That's not gonna work
for me, so new plan.
8
00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:22,270
Break up Miles and Lisa Loeb.
9
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,290
_
10
00:00:25,670 --> 00:00:27,320
The hell's going on here?
11
00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:30,700
It's parent-teacher day.
12
00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:34,640
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Well...
13
00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:36,680
Welcome to A.P. Bio.
14
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:37,880
[Ramones' "Listen to My Heart"]
15
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,550
♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
16
00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:42,120
♪ Next time I'll listen to my heart ♪
17
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,860
♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪
18
00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:48,890
♪
19
00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:51,430
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.adic7ed.com
20
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,130
[PARENTS CHATTERING INDINSTINCTLY]
21
00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:56,270
You can't talk to our
kids about banging.
22
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,060
I want to see a syllabus, please.
23
00:00:58,340 --> 00:00:59,410
I want to see a syllabus, please.
24
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,770
I want to know... "zero bangs"?
25
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,000
Okay, listen, listen, listen.
26
00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:04,040
I don't know what your
kids told you about me,
27
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,410
but I went to Harvard,
28
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,620
which means I know how
to get in to Harvard,
29
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,929
as well as the other Ivies,
30
00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:10,360
because they're all a
little worse than Harvard.
31
00:01:10,390 --> 00:01:12,860
So keep your hands up if
you don't want your kids
32
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:15,270
to go to Harvard or one
of the lesser Ivies.
33
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,750
Now, I believe all of
your remaining questions
34
00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:20,050
can be boiled down to one simple answer.
35
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,480
All of your kids know
36
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,880
exactly what they need to
do to get an A in my class.
37
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:26,420
Right, guys?
38
00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:29,680
And I'm happy to report that so far,
39
00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:31,980
all of your kids, the
fruits of your loins,
40
00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:33,280
are getting As.
41
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,050
[APPLAUSE]
42
00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:40,390
So have a great rest of your day, guys.
43
00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:43,950
Excuse me,
are we getting individual feedback, yes?
44
00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:46,760
You honestly want to know
what I think about Marcus?
45
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:47,880
Yes.
46
00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:52,900
Yeah, he's just got a real
turd of a personality.
47
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,780
But you two seem like a couple
of wet blankets as well.
48
00:01:56,190 --> 00:01:57,830
Here's why Heather's cool.
49
00:01:57,860 --> 00:02:00,180
There's something dangerous
lurking inside of her,
50
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,020
something edgy.
51
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,530
You need to foster that.
52
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,570
Yeah, guys.
53
00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:05,400
Get me my own pressure cooker.
54
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,540
I want to make brisket,
and I want to make it quick.
55
00:02:07,570 --> 00:02:09,670
You're not old enough
to get a pressure cooker.
56
00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:11,710
But I'm old enough for an HPV vaccine?
57
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,819
Sarika has no sense of humor, zero.
58
00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:14,960
Does she laugh at anything?
59
00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:16,610
Sarika refuses to have fun.
60
00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:17,880
- [SCOFFS]
- You think I want to be
61
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,280
spending five hours every Saturday
62
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,860
at the academic decathlon? No.
63
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:21,880
- No.
- No!
64
00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:23,359
I'd rather be poolside,
65
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,520
buns up, sipping a Malibu.
66
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,290
Seems like one of you
ought to give up the perm.
67
00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:29,190
But what about when we get separated
68
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,200
at church or Six Flags?
69
00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,100
We always look for the curl.
70
00:02:35,730 --> 00:02:37,070
Uh... Wow.
71
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,300
Hold hands. Get a leash.
I don't care. Go away.
72
00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:40,480
Hi.
73
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:41,940
Mrs. Um...
74
00:02:41,970 --> 00:02:44,680
Uh, no, I'm... I'm not, um, married.
75
00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:46,210
I'm Trish, Colin's mom.
76
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,750
Oh. Oh, Colin's mom.
77
00:02:47,780 --> 00:02:48,780
Hi. Sorry.
78
00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:49,620
Well, I can definitely see
79
00:02:49,621 --> 00:02:51,290
where he gets his, um...
80
00:02:54,660 --> 00:02:56,300
His... his book bag.
81
00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:57,460
You got that for him, right?
82
00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:59,390
I mean, it's a nice book bag.
83
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,960
- You've got great taste.
- Thank you.
84
00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:04,000
Well, you know, kind of a book bag,
clothes connoisseur.
85
00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:07,290
And I mean I certainly didn't
just buy the first one I saw.
86
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:08,400
[LAUGHS]
87
00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:09,600
This is the first time they've ever
88
00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:10,860
worked in that sort of medium.
89
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:11,420
Ah!
90
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,080
And this number one stunner
91
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,740
is from our figure drawing class.
92
00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:16,280
The contours are on point.
93
00:03:16,310 --> 00:03:18,810
The shading is... oof... very fly.
94
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:19,520
It's beautiful.
95
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,250
Excuse me, that's nudity.
96
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,150
It is nudity.
97
00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:25,450
Did our children see a live nude?
98
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,450
No.
99
00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:27,520
I was the model,
100
00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:28,880
and I certainly was not nude.
101
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,200
I was wearing a swimsuit
and a low-rise jogger.
102
00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:33,630
This technically isn't even nudity.
103
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,120
She wasn't naked, everybody.
104
00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:36,600
Is this why my Trey is suddenly
105
00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:39,720
obsessed with extra-long showers?
106
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,070
Wrangle this in, Durbs.
107
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,770
I bet the school board would be
108
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,300
very interested in this vulgar display.
109
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:46,310
Vulgar?
110
00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:47,629
Excuse you?
111
00:03:47,630 --> 00:03:49,770
I have the back of a
Gauguin island queen.
112
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,860
I'm gonna take care of this.
113
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,630
Here we go.
114
00:03:57,730 --> 00:03:59,840
Yeah, I fed that sweet little baby bird
115
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:00,800
with a syringe for a week
116
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,940
until it got strong
enough and flew away.
117
00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:03,940
Hmm.
118
00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:05,070
Yep. [SIGHS]
119
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,649
So I'm not a parent,
120
00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:08,320
but I get it.
121
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,420
Birds weird me out.
122
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:11,890
Yeah, they're filthy.
123
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,230
Anyway,
I'm sorry that I missed the class intro.
124
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:16,460
My rehearsal went long.
125
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,600
She plays cello at the
Toledo Symphony Orchestra.
126
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:19,800
- Yeah.
- First chair.
127
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,330
Cellos weird me out.
128
00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:22,960
Yeah, they're filthy.
129
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:24,640
[LAUGHS]
130
00:04:24,670 --> 00:04:26,470
- [BELL RINGS]
- See you later, Mom.
131
00:04:26,510 --> 00:04:29,680
Oh, um, hey,
why don't we hang out sometime?
132
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,410
- Maybe tonight?
- Sure.
133
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:33,350
Do you want to come by for dinner?
134
00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:34,120
Ooh, I don't know.
135
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,440
I was gonna eat this frozen burrito,
136
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,340
but I feel like that's not gonna turn
137
00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:38,760
for another year, so yeah.
138
00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:39,940
Um, well, do you want to take my number?
139
00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:40,660
I'm already...
140
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,329
Oh, you're already putting it.
141
00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:45,240
419-555-0199.
142
00:04:45,270 --> 00:04:47,170
Okay, I'll call you or I will text you.
143
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:48,840
Okay. We'll see which it is.
144
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,040
- Okay.
- Bye.
145
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:55,550
- Hi.
- Hi. Hope you like pinot.
146
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:56,580
I do. Oh.
147
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,350
Well, you left the price tag on.
148
00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,860
$27?
149
00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:01,380
- Jeez, fancy.
- Yeah.
150
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,030
The guy at the liquor store
offered to razor it off,
151
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:04,730
and I said, "No,
I don't want you to do that.
152
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,630
I want her to know how classy I am."
153
00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:08,770
Oh. Answer: very.
154
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,000
[LAUGHTER]
155
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:11,600
- Come in.
- All right.
156
00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:15,220
[DELICATE PIANO MUSIC]
157
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,940
Well, this smells absolutely delicious.
158
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,540
Thank you. Spaghetti Bolognese.
159
00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:22,650
It's my only specialty.
160
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,550
It's kind of a hard first
date food, though.
161
00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:26,480
Yeah,
there's no sexy way to eat spaghetti.
162
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,560
- No.
- Unless you're one of those
163
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,520
Disney hobo dogs. They're
pretty good at it.
164
00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:30,950
Yeah, or one of those snobs that
165
00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:32,890
twirls their pasta on a spoon.
166
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,430
So un-American.
167
00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:35,460
Well, wait a sec... wait.
168
00:05:35,490 --> 00:05:37,160
You put the spoons out.
Why'd you do that?
169
00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:38,760
For ice cream, you Communist.
170
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,500
[BOTH LAUGH]
171
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,470
This is fun.
172
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,740
It's been a while since I
hung out with a nice guy.
173
00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:47,750
Mom, I'm home!
174
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:50,310
The movie was cancelled
'cause there was a rat
175
00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:52,380
in the theater that bit
a stupid girl's toe.
176
00:05:52,410 --> 00:05:54,020
It's like, "Don't wear
sandals to a movie.
177
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,200
Wear sneakers."
178
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:56,240
Hey, Mr. Griffin.
179
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,380
I'm sorry. Is it okay if he joins us?
180
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,750
- Yeah. No, no, absolutely.
- Okay.
181
00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:02,990
Wouldn't have it any other way.
182
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:04,490
Guys want to hear more about the rat?
183
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,760
Saw it pretty good.
184
00:06:05,790 --> 00:06:07,190
- Nah.
- Sure, honey.
185
00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,840
Yeah.
Yeah, let's... Let's hear about the rat.
186
00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:16,039
So like, you know, Cornish game hen...
187
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:16,920
- Mm-hmm.
- Pigeons, things like that.
188
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,280
You know, it's basically like
a historical recreation of...
189
00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:21,210
[COUGHING, GAGGING]
190
00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:26,390
Like a historical recreation
of what Beethoven ate.
191
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,190
- Like a food diary, basically.
- Hmm.
192
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:29,800
- Wow.
- Yeah, it's pretty cool.
193
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,850
Mom, can you cut this for me?
194
00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:33,720
The noodles are sticking to my uvula.
195
00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:35,190
I think you're, uh, old enough
196
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,990
to cut up your own
spaghetti there, champ.
197
00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:38,320
Yeah.
198
00:06:40,290 --> 00:06:43,270
Um, anyway, when Beethoven went deaf...
199
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,530
[KNIFE SQUEAKING]
200
00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:48,899
Uh, his other senses just
went absolutely bananas.
201
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,000
What? Sorry.
202
00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:51,630
You know, Colin, I'll just cut it.
203
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,070
Have you ever read any
historical food diaries?
204
00:06:55,690 --> 00:06:57,710
I haven't read a food diary per se,
205
00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:58,860
but in "The Diary of Anne Frank,"
206
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,910
she talks about the
monotony of the potatoes.
207
00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:02,780
- Does that count?
- No.
208
00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:04,110
Well, I think it does.
209
00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:06,720
Right, I mean, why wouldn't it count?
210
00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:09,050
Yeah.
211
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:11,950
[LANGUID MUSIC]
212
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:13,490
All right, I'll go get dessert.
213
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,590
All right.
214
00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:16,020
Sounds good.
215
00:07:17,790 --> 00:07:18,860
All right.
216
00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:21,500
- I'll give you 20 bucks...
- Make it 40.
217
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,930
Fine, $40.
218
00:07:26,370 --> 00:07:27,340
Okay.
219
00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:29,340
Salted caramel sundaes.
220
00:07:29,370 --> 00:07:31,610
Mom, Mr. Griffin gave me 40 bucks.
221
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,810
- For what?
- I don't know!
222
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:34,970
[CLEARS THROAT]
223
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:36,069
[CHUCKLES]
224
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:37,650
Just... yeah.
225
00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:39,670
[STAMMERS]
226
00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:49,210
[SMOOTH SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
227
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:52,750
♪
228
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:53,780
- Ah!
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
229
00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:54,860
Yay.
230
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,720
Sometimes I play my sax so hard,
231
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,190
I get a tongue rash from the reed.
232
00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:00,030
But the cool thing about
a tongue rash is,
233
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:01,160
you can scratch it with your teeth.
234
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,370
Like this. See?
235
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:05,650
Ugh.
236
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,070
I'm tired.
237
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,240
I'm gonna go to bed.
238
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,240
Okay.
239
00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:11,010
Well, good night, baby duck.
240
00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:12,620
- Quack!
- [LAUGHS]
241
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:13,610
No.
242
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:14,810
So...
243
00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:17,160
Would you like to retire to the sofa?
244
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,780
And we could talk about
historical food diaries.
245
00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:22,670
Oh, I'm so sorry. Was that boring?
246
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,970
I thought it was a little more
interesting than tongue rashes.
247
00:08:25,010 --> 00:08:26,210
[LAUGHS] I don't know, though.
248
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,970
I think... I think this one wins.
249
00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:29,480
[LAUGHS] Maybe when you do it.
250
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,260
Oh, my god, wait.
251
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,649
What?
252
00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:33,580
Can I see your tongue again?
Because you know what?
253
00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:35,819
You might have poison
ivy, but I'm not sure.
254
00:08:35,820 --> 00:08:38,120
I need to take a little
bit of a closer peek.
255
00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:39,350
Mom!
256
00:08:39,390 --> 00:08:41,820
I cut my nostril with
the nose hair scissors.
257
00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:43,320
There's blood.
258
00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:46,019
Oh, I'm sorry. I should go help him.
259
00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:47,650
I mean, the poor kid
has orange nose hairs.
260
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:50,160
If he doesn't stay on top of it,
he'll be crucified.
261
00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:51,600
- Yeah.
- Um...
262
00:08:53,990 --> 00:08:56,050
Thanks for coming by.
263
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:57,860
Oh, okay.
264
00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:58,870
I should go.
265
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,030
[GRUNTS]
266
00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:01,400
- All right.
- [COLIN SNEEZES]
267
00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:03,500
I sneezed on the guest towel.
268
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,070
I think it's totaled.
269
00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:07,840
- Sorry.
- Nah, it's okay.
270
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:09,240
Um, have a good night.
271
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,640
Yeah, you too. I'll see myself out.
272
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,280
- It's cool.
- Okay.
273
00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:21,860
[BELL RINGS]
274
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:23,200
Go.
275
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:26,220
Sara Baker, sophomore,
volleyball, peanut allergy.
276
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,730
Exacta-lootly!
277
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,630
- [LAUGHS]
- CROWD: Bring back our back!
278
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,060
Bring back our back!
279
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:34,000
Is that pregnant mouse in
the water fountain again?
280
00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:36,740
Please, just let her
have her babies in there, Ralph.
281
00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:37,970
[MUFFLED CHANTING CONTINUES]
282
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,340
She's old!
283
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,820
All: Bring back our back!
284
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,080
- Bring back our back!
- _
285
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,350
Bring back our back!
286
00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:45,350
- You got to...
- ALL: Bring back our back!
287
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:46,619
Hey, please!
288
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,420
You're gonna interrupt
classes, all right?
289
00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:49,450
Ladies and...
290
00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:51,970
- Coach.
- Good.
291
00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:53,800
The school needs to
know that you hate art.
292
00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:54,980
Yeah, you hate it.
293
00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:55,780
I don't hate art.
294
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,200
The... the parents thought
295
00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:58,950
that the back drawing
was gateway nudity.
296
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:00,390
And when you think about it, the back is
297
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:02,120
around the corner from the boobs,
298
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,060
and then you make a right turn,
and you're at the butt.
299
00:10:04,090 --> 00:10:07,530
Sounds like Ralph is thinking
a lot about boobs and butts.
300
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,460
Right,
while we're out here fighting for art.
301
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,660
Is this a school or a dictatorship,
302
00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:13,870
Chairman Mralph?
303
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,900
- ALL: Chairman Mralph!
- All right.
304
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,670
- ALL: Chairman Mralph!
- Guys, Chairman Mralph!
305
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,040
Guys, guys, "Chairman Mralph"
306
00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:21,140
is a little bit of a stretch, okay?
307
00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:23,020
I'm gonna fix this, all right?
308
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:25,110
- ALL: Chairman Mralph!
- Okay, fix it.
309
00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:27,180
ALL: Chairman Mralph!
310
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,850
So what's wrong with you?
311
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,020
I'm sweating so hard,
I think I'm gonna pass out.
312
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,419
Well, then lose the turtleneck.
313
00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:33,620
I can't.
314
00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:35,390
And I don't want to talk about it!
315
00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,190
ALL: Chairman Mralph!
316
00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:38,490
Chairman Mralph!
317
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,060
What?
318
00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:43,170
Oh. You're here!
319
00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:46,690
I mocked up an incriminating
photo to send to Lisa Loeb.
320
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,289
It's Miles licking Alanis
Morissette's neck.
321
00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:50,530
Wow, Anthony, that...
322
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:51,560
You're an artist.
323
00:10:51,590 --> 00:10:52,560
Go for it. Get it done.
324
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:53,670
Hey, Colin.
325
00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:54,840
You know, I was just thinking...
326
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:55,770
I'm so curious.
327
00:10:55,810 --> 00:10:58,000
Did you happen to bang
your mom last night?
328
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,910
Because I sure as hell didn't.
329
00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:01,010
- No.
- Wait.
330
00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:02,310
Are you dating Colin's mom?
331
00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:03,899
Isn't that a conflict of interest?
332
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,540
Are you gonna start
giving him extra credit
333
00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,700
- because you're doing his mom?
- He's not doing my mom.
334
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,030
Yeah, because you
wouldn't leave us alone
335
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:09,960
long enough to do it.
336
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,460
By the way, I want my 40 bucks back.
337
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,310
I tried to leave you
alone and go to bed.
338
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,350
Man, you blocked me all night.
339
00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:16,840
You brought out your saxophone.
340
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,750
You showed us how to stop a
ceiling fan with your hand.
341
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:19,520
That's not a cool trick.
342
00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:22,870
Mr. Griffin,
have you ever dated a single mom?
343
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:23,900
Uh, yeah, yeah, one time.
344
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,620
But she had a C-section,
so it was all good.
345
00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:27,790
- [CHUCKLES]
- You are a bad person.
346
00:11:27,830 --> 00:11:29,130
Yeah, I forget you don't get jokes.
347
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,440
Tell your mom that one. She'll love it.
348
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,600
You know,
the obvious way to a single mom's heart
349
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,640
is through her child.
350
00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:35,600
You should have shown Colin some love.
351
00:11:35,630 --> 00:11:38,350
- Yeah,
she would have popped off on you, boss.
352
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:40,000
Okay, look, guys.
353
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:40,720
Let's get one thing straight.
354
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,460
This isn't one of those cheesy
355
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,180
"Jerry Maguire" type situations
356
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:46,239
where I win the mom by falling in love
357
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,310
with the freaky looking kid.
358
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,460
Fine.
359
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,320
Then it's bye-bye Trish.
360
00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:52,850
All right, shut up, Marcus.
Shut up. Let me think.
361
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,940
Okay, we need to make
a pros and cons list.
362
00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:56,580
Yeah. That's what we'll do.
363
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:57,820
Victor, go to the board.
364
00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:00,660
On the pro side, she's, uh...
365
00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:02,080
well, gorgeous.
366
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:03,520
Smart.
367
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,530
She's funny. Talented.
368
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,060
And on the con side... Well, really...
369
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,270
Really, it's just Colin.
370
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,360
I mean, I really hate the Colin part.
371
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,760
Yeah, if you become Colin's dad,
372
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,100
he'll probably be the last face you see
373
00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:19,770
as you take your dying breath.
374
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,319
I know, but I just can't
stop thinking about her.
375
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,689
She's probably chilling
in a bath tub right now.
376
00:12:24,690 --> 00:12:25,820
She's at work.
377
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,260
Let me ask you a question.
378
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:30,060
Does Colin's mom give you butterflies?
379
00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:32,530
What, like, in my tummy?
380
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:34,660
Hell yes, Anthony.
381
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:36,830
If it's legit tummy butterflies,
382
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:40,040
then isn't it worth
being Colin's fake dad?
383
00:12:41,730 --> 00:12:42,840
Yes.
384
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,330
Yes!
385
00:12:44,370 --> 00:12:45,630
Yes, you guys, it is!
386
00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:47,440
I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna go for it.
387
00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:49,240
I'm crushing hard on Colin's mom.
388
00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:50,730
Yeah. All right, yeah, man.
389
00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:51,510
Let's do it, Colin.
390
00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:52,770
What's up, man? You want to...
391
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:54,020
- Wait, you want to play catch?
- No.
392
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,320
But I do need to build a rocket
393
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,780
for the father/son rocket launch.
394
00:12:57,810 --> 00:12:59,350
[GROANS] God, I hate that name.
395
00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:00,980
Father/son rocket launch?
But, yeah, I'll do it.
396
00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:03,210
I'll do it, yeah.
Let's build a rocket together.
397
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,350
I'm gonna suffer through it.
398
00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:05,690
I'm frickin' enamored!
399
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,059
- [APPLAUSE]
- Whoo!
400
00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:08,060
Yeah!
401
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:09,390
I must have her!
402
00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:12,630
[APPALAUSE CONTNUES]
403
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,599
Students must disperse from the lobby
404
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,960
and go back to their classes.
405
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,770
I gotta know what's
under that turtleneck.
406
00:13:22,650 --> 00:13:24,720
I have an embarrassing back tattoo.
407
00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:27,800
"M loves KJ"?
408
00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:30,140
Wait, those are your husband's initials.
409
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:31,540
Michelle loves Keith Jones.
410
00:13:31,570 --> 00:13:33,210
Why is that embarrassing?
411
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,080
I got it before I met Keith.
412
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:36,759
It stands for Kendall Jackson.
413
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,120
The chardonnay?
414
00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:39,990
Please don't tell him I have a tattoo.
415
00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:40,990
He hates chardonnay.
416
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,100
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
417
00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:44,160
Keith has never seen your back,
418
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:45,470
ever?
419
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,070
I mean, what about bikinis?
420
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,269
What about them?
421
00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:49,660
I mean,
are we just gonna bring up anything now?
422
00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:50,500
What about lawn mowers?
423
00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:51,500
- No. No.
- Okay, everybody,
424
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,070
you know what to do.
425
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,689
You got to be the back to...
426
00:13:55,690 --> 00:13:56,930
ALL: Free the back!
427
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,400
Backs aren't bad, and that's a fact.
428
00:13:59,430 --> 00:14:00,660
- You got to be...
- Okay, everyone.
429
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,800
I've heard your cries for justice.
430
00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:05,490
And I think I found a solution
431
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:07,920
that will please all sides.
432
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,210
[ALL GASP]
433
00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:18,610
That's body-shaming!
434
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,780
ALL: Body-shamer!
435
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,120
Body-shamer!
436
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:23,820
Body-shamer!
437
00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:24,750
Body-shamer!
438
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:27,160
- Body-shamer!
- Get him!
439
00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:29,830
- ALL: Body-shamer!
- Don't let him get away!
440
00:14:31,590 --> 00:14:32,930
All right, now we gotta make sure
441
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,560
we glue these fins on
perfectly straight.
442
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,030
It's the only way to humiliate
all those other rockets.
443
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:38,970
Hey, guys.
444
00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:41,300
Just baked these for you.
445
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,040
Be careful. Don't burn your mouths.
446
00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:44,280
[LAUGHS]
447
00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:45,620
You having fun?
448
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:46,710
He's doing most of it.
449
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:48,140
Oh, no, that's not true. No.
450
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,760
I was actually just teaching Colin here
451
00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:51,950
the value of two-part epoxy.
452
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:53,360
- Oh.
- Yeah.
453
00:14:53,870 --> 00:14:55,500
Yeah, you got a real special guy
454
00:14:55,530 --> 00:14:56,990
on your hands here, Trish.
455
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,730
I love him.
456
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,450
I love your son.
457
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,080
Okay.
458
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:02,940
Oh, uh, Col,
459
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,339
your dad said that you
called this morning
460
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:06,209
to ask him to bring by
his bike pump today,
461
00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,380
but he can't do it.
462
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:10,320
[SIGHS]
463
00:15:10,350 --> 00:15:11,629
- Dang it!
- Whoa!
464
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:13,330
Dude, what are you doing, man?
Watch the rocket.
465
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,930
I don't care about the dumb rocket.
466
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,790
I wanted my dad to come
here, see me and you
467
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:18,800
building this thing and
get super jealous.
468
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:19,940
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
469
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,530
You were using me?
470
00:15:22,030 --> 00:15:23,230
I was just using you.
471
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,600
Yeah, I was, but it didn't work.
472
00:15:25,770 --> 00:15:26,790
Now get!
473
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,030
Did you just tell me to "get"?
474
00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:36,780
Are you still here? I said, "Get!"
475
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:37,980
No, I'm not gonna "get!"
476
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,280
We're sticking to the plan,
477
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,340
and we're building this stupid rocket
478
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,020
and your mom's gonna pop off on me.
479
00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:42,740
Excuse me?
480
00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:44,320
No, no, no, no.
481
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,860
Dude, that's not even my expression.
482
00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:46,960
That's, like, something I heard, like,
483
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,349
one of the girls in my class say.
484
00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:49,900
That's so much worse.
485
00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:51,030
Yeah, that... That sounded bad.
486
00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,430
No. No, no. Honestly, Trish.
487
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:53,570
That's not how I feel about you.
488
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,020
You heard the lady, Jack.
489
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,630
- Get.
- Oh, my god.
490
00:15:56,670 --> 00:15:57,940
What is this "get" business? No.
491
00:15:57,970 --> 00:15:59,540
Look, okay, Trish, I'm tired of this.
492
00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:00,629
You gotta choose.
493
00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:02,560
Either him or me.
494
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:04,400
What? Him!
495
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,730
Obviously him!
496
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:06,870
Aww! [STAMMERS]
497
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,380
[SCOFFS] Come on. Real... For real?
498
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,100
Get!
499
00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:09,880
You know what? Fine.
500
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,570
I'm taking my two-part epoxy.
501
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:14,480
Oh, my god.
502
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:20,150
All: Shame on you! Shame on you!
503
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,780
Shame on you!
504
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:23,720
- Shame on you!
- _
505
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,320
Shame on you!
506
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:26,590
- Shame on you!
- _
507
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:29,020
Have you all lost your damn minds?
508
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:30,620
A Durbin piñata?
509
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:32,390
Okay, you guys took it way too far.
510
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:34,090
Everybody, go back to class!
511
00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:35,490
[SIGHS] Oh, my kingdom.
512
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:38,060
What happened to my kingdom?
513
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,430
I'll tell you what happened.
514
00:16:39,470 --> 00:16:41,000
You used to be a cool-ass king,
515
00:16:41,030 --> 00:16:42,730
but now you're wack as hell.
516
00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:44,750
I shut down the protest, Ralph.
517
00:16:44,790 --> 00:16:45,740
'Cause I have your back,
518
00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:47,110
even though you didn't have mine.
519
00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:51,060
That's an incredible likeness.
520
00:16:51,390 --> 00:16:53,200
We just finished the papier-mâché unit.
521
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:54,979
I'm a good teacher, Ralph.
522
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:56,910
I know. You're... you're the best.
523
00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:58,429
I should have supported you.
524
00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:00,400
But I pussed out in front
of all those parents.
525
00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:02,479
I... [SIGHS] You know what?
526
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,890
I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.
527
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,700
To make up for it, I am gonna put this
528
00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:10,090
right here.
529
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:14,060
So that your beautiful, strong, sexy,
530
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:17,030
brave, empowered back will watch over
531
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,190
every move I make as
king of this high school.
532
00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:23,089
Okay. Now you're making this weird.
533
00:17:23,090 --> 00:17:24,060
Weird?
534
00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:25,200
This is art.
535
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,460
Look at the supple shoulder blades.
536
00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:29,880
[GASPS] The voluptuous spine.
537
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,130
You know what? I'm taking this.
538
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,400
You can't be trusted.
539
00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:34,100
You want it too bad.
540
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,140
Dirty Durbs trying to peep my back?
541
00:17:37,170 --> 00:17:38,340
No, please.
542
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,190
All right, guys.
543
00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:43,740
Grade update.
544
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,440
Everybody's got an A
545
00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:47,479
except for Colin, who has an F.
546
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,810
You're just mad because
my mom won't give you an F.
547
00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:51,820
CLASS: Ooh!
548
00:17:51,850 --> 00:17:53,780
[LAUGHS] Oh, we're doing "Oohs" now?
549
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,700
Huh? Is that gonna be a thing?
550
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,490
What's the real reason you're mad?
551
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,680
He's just mad 'cause his dad sucks.
552
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,120
News flash, Colin:
553
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,390
All dads suck.
554
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:03,290
Okay? All they do is yell at the TV
555
00:18:03,330 --> 00:18:04,910
and burp loudly while talking
556
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:06,170
and forget to take you fishing
557
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,810
every single Saturday for six months
558
00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:09,469
even though you bought ice fishing boots
559
00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:10,440
with your birthday money.
560
00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:12,300
Dads are full idiots!
561
00:18:12,930 --> 00:18:14,860
That hurt runs deep, y'all.
562
00:18:16,410 --> 00:18:17,510
Wearing a ladies' shirt?
563
00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:18,940
It's a male leotard
564
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:20,740
for a protest that's now over.
565
00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:23,280
Does anyone have an XL
cardigan or a shawl?
566
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:26,450
The point is, Colin,
nobody likes dads, all right?
567
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,290
Class, raise your hand
if you like your dad.
568
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,660
- Yeah.
- He's my hero.
569
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,580
I love my dad even though he
restricts my Internet access.
570
00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:33,890
Even you, Devin?
571
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,670
Oh, yeah. My mom's the problem.
572
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,900
I guess we're the only
ones with bad dads.
573
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,540
- [MILITARISTIC MUSIC]
- _
574
00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:47,210
♪
575
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,350
[ROCKET HISSES]
576
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:53,480
All right.
577
00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:55,780
Now, if you hit the ball just right,
578
00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:57,280
you should hit one of the rockets
579
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,920
and cause a domino effect.
580
00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:02,490
My mom would probably
think this is cool of you.
581
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,790
Yeah, well, this isn't about her.
582
00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:06,520
All right, go ahead and
line up your shot.
583
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:07,860
Go ahead.
584
00:19:07,890 --> 00:19:10,260
A little bit wider on your stance there,
bud.
585
00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:11,920
Good.
586
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:13,680
All right.
587
00:19:14,330 --> 00:19:15,740
Give it a blast.
588
00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:20,660
I missed it.
589
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:21,680
Okay. Uh...
590
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,100
Well, look, man.
It had a lot of power on it.
591
00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:26,390
[LAUGHS] I certainly felt the wind.
592
00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,660
Here. Let me... let me give it a whirl.
593
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,130
Let's see what we got here.
594
00:19:29,780 --> 00:19:30,830
All right.
595
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:43,890
- [SCREAMS]
- Oh!
596
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,260
Ooh!
597
00:19:45,290 --> 00:19:46,530
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
598
00:19:46,930 --> 00:19:47,840
What are you doing, man?
599
00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:49,200
What are you doing? Come on.
600
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,439
[LAUGHTER]
601
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,180
I see them!
602
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,800
- Up there!
- Get 'em!
603
00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:57,980
Good morning, Lisa Loeb,
my little snuggle bug.
604
00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:00,500
What the hell is this, Miles?
605
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:03,950
That's not me.
606
00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:05,550
Read the caption.
607
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,680
"Nothing better than a quick neck lick
608
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,470
in a DQ parking lot."
609
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,620
- The DQ?
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
610
00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:11,890
Is that where you take
611
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,560
all your musician girlfriends, Miles?
612
00:20:14,590 --> 00:20:16,490
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- Alanis Morissette!
613
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,480
[GRUNTS, GLASS SHATTERS]
614
00:20:18,660 --> 00:20:20,150
[LAMP CLATTERS]
615
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,430
No, no. Not my Michelle Obama...
616
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:23,630
[GLASS SHATTERS] Commemorative plate.
617
00:20:23,670 --> 00:20:25,400
Ah, that's expensive.
618
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,110
[GLASS SHATTERS, BOOKS THUD]
619
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:29,640
You missed one, baby.
620
00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:31,470
[LAUGHS, POTTERY SHATTERS]
621
00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:32,500
- [GRUMBLES]
- No, no, no, no.
622
00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:33,740
Don't do that. You'll put your back out.
623
00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:34,740
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
624
00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:36,400
That... that is not real.
625
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:39,380
That is some exceptionally
good photo doctoring,
626
00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:40,580
but it's not real.
627
00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:43,280
This, this heat,
628
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,020
this fire, all this mess:
629
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,370
this, this is real.
630
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,390
- I hate you.
- Good.
631
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,960
Because you can't hate
what you don't love.
632
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:55,640
Huh?
633
00:20:57,630 --> 00:20:58,600
All right.
634
00:20:58,630 --> 00:20:59,930
Yeah.
635
00:20:59,970 --> 00:21:01,970
[intro to Lisa Loeb's "Stay" plays]
43123
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.