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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:02,890 According to this gossip column, 2 00:00:02,910 --> 00:00:06,200 my nemesis, Miles, is dating Lisa Loeb. 3 00:00:06,250 --> 00:00:07,280 The Lisa Loeb. 4 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:09,950 Songbird. Sex in glasses. 5 00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:12,780 Meanwhile, I have had zero bangs 6 00:00:12,860 --> 00:00:16,250 since moving to this garbage pile of a town. 7 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,500 That's not gonna work for me, so new plan. 8 00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:22,270 Break up Miles and Lisa Loeb. 9 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,290 _ 10 00:00:25,670 --> 00:00:27,320 The hell's going on here? 11 00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:30,700 It's parent-teacher day. 12 00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:34,640 [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Well... 13 00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:36,680 Welcome to A.P. Bio. 14 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:37,880 [Ramones' "Listen to My Heart"] 15 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,550 ♪ One, two, three, four! ♪ 16 00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:42,120 ♪ Next time I'll listen to my heart ♪ 17 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,860 ♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪ 18 00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:48,890 ♪ 19 00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:51,430 Synced and corrected by louvette www.adic7ed.com 20 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,130 [PARENTS CHATTERING INDINSTINCTLY] 21 00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:56,270 You can't talk to our kids about banging. 22 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,060 I want to see a syllabus, please. 23 00:00:58,340 --> 00:00:59,410 I want to see a syllabus, please. 24 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,770 I want to know... "zero bangs"? 25 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,000 Okay, listen, listen, listen. 26 00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:04,040 I don't know what your kids told you about me, 27 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,410 but I went to Harvard, 28 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,620 which means I know how to get in to Harvard, 29 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,929 as well as the other Ivies, 30 00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:10,360 because they're all a little worse than Harvard. 31 00:01:10,390 --> 00:01:12,860 So keep your hands up if you don't want your kids 32 00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:15,270 to go to Harvard or one of the lesser Ivies. 33 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,750 Now, I believe all of your remaining questions 34 00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:20,050 can be boiled down to one simple answer. 35 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,480 All of your kids know 36 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,880 exactly what they need to do to get an A in my class. 37 00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:26,420 Right, guys? 38 00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:29,680 And I'm happy to report that so far, 39 00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:31,980 all of your kids, the fruits of your loins, 40 00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:33,280 are getting As. 41 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,050 [APPLAUSE] 42 00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:40,390 So have a great rest of your day, guys. 43 00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:43,950 Excuse me, are we getting individual feedback, yes? 44 00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:46,760 You honestly want to know what I think about Marcus? 45 00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:47,880 Yes. 46 00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:52,900 Yeah, he's just got a real turd of a personality. 47 00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,780 But you two seem like a couple of wet blankets as well. 48 00:01:56,190 --> 00:01:57,830 Here's why Heather's cool. 49 00:01:57,860 --> 00:02:00,180 There's something dangerous lurking inside of her, 50 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,020 something edgy. 51 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,530 You need to foster that. 52 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,570 Yeah, guys. 53 00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:05,400 Get me my own pressure cooker. 54 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,540 I want to make brisket, and I want to make it quick. 55 00:02:07,570 --> 00:02:09,670 You're not old enough to get a pressure cooker. 56 00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:11,710 But I'm old enough for an HPV vaccine? 57 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,819 Sarika has no sense of humor, zero. 58 00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:14,960 Does she laugh at anything? 59 00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:16,610 Sarika refuses to have fun. 60 00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:17,880 - [SCOFFS] - You think I want to be 61 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,280 spending five hours every Saturday 62 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,860 at the academic decathlon? No. 63 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:21,880 - No. - No! 64 00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:23,359 I'd rather be poolside, 65 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,520 buns up, sipping a Malibu. 66 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,290 Seems like one of you ought to give up the perm. 67 00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:29,190 But what about when we get separated 68 00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,200 at church or Six Flags? 69 00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,100 We always look for the curl. 70 00:02:35,730 --> 00:02:37,070 Uh... Wow. 71 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,300 Hold hands. Get a leash. I don't care. Go away. 72 00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:40,480 Hi. 73 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:41,940 Mrs. Um... 74 00:02:41,970 --> 00:02:44,680 Uh, no, I'm... I'm not, um, married. 75 00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:46,210 I'm Trish, Colin's mom. 76 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,750 Oh. Oh, Colin's mom. 77 00:02:47,780 --> 00:02:48,780 Hi. Sorry. 78 00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:49,620 Well, I can definitely see 79 00:02:49,621 --> 00:02:51,290 where he gets his, um... 80 00:02:54,660 --> 00:02:56,300 His... his book bag. 81 00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:57,460 You got that for him, right? 82 00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:59,390 I mean, it's a nice book bag. 83 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,960 - You've got great taste. - Thank you. 84 00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:04,000 Well, you know, kind of a book bag, clothes connoisseur. 85 00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:07,290 And I mean I certainly didn't just buy the first one I saw. 86 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:08,400 [LAUGHS] 87 00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:09,600 This is the first time they've ever 88 00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:10,860 worked in that sort of medium. 89 00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:11,420 Ah! 90 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,080 And this number one stunner 91 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,740 is from our figure drawing class. 92 00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:16,280 The contours are on point. 93 00:03:16,310 --> 00:03:18,810 The shading is... oof... very fly. 94 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:19,520 It's beautiful. 95 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,250 Excuse me, that's nudity. 96 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,150 It is nudity. 97 00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:25,450 Did our children see a live nude? 98 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,450 No. 99 00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:27,520 I was the model, 100 00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:28,880 and I certainly was not nude. 101 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,200 I was wearing a swimsuit and a low-rise jogger. 102 00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:33,630 This technically isn't even nudity. 103 00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,120 She wasn't naked, everybody. 104 00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:36,600 Is this why my Trey is suddenly 105 00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:39,720 obsessed with extra-long showers? 106 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,070 Wrangle this in, Durbs. 107 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,770 I bet the school board would be 108 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,300 very interested in this vulgar display. 109 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:46,310 Vulgar? 110 00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:47,629 Excuse you? 111 00:03:47,630 --> 00:03:49,770 I have the back of a Gauguin island queen. 112 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,860 I'm gonna take care of this. 113 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,630 Here we go. 114 00:03:57,730 --> 00:03:59,840 Yeah, I fed that sweet little baby bird 115 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:00,800 with a syringe for a week 116 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,940 until it got strong enough and flew away. 117 00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:03,940 Hmm. 118 00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:05,070 Yep. [SIGHS] 119 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,649 So I'm not a parent, 120 00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:08,320 but I get it. 121 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,420 Birds weird me out. 122 00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:11,890 Yeah, they're filthy. 123 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,230 Anyway, I'm sorry that I missed the class intro. 124 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:16,460 My rehearsal went long. 125 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,600 She plays cello at the Toledo Symphony Orchestra. 126 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:19,800 - Yeah. - First chair. 127 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,330 Cellos weird me out. 128 00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:22,960 Yeah, they're filthy. 129 00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:24,640 [LAUGHS] 130 00:04:24,670 --> 00:04:26,470 - [BELL RINGS] - See you later, Mom. 131 00:04:26,510 --> 00:04:29,680 Oh, um, hey, why don't we hang out sometime? 132 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,410 - Maybe tonight? - Sure. 133 00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:33,350 Do you want to come by for dinner? 134 00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:34,120 Ooh, I don't know. 135 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,440 I was gonna eat this frozen burrito, 136 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,340 but I feel like that's not gonna turn 137 00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:38,760 for another year, so yeah. 138 00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:39,940 Um, well, do you want to take my number? 139 00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:40,660 I'm already... 140 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,329 Oh, you're already putting it. 141 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:45,240 419-555-0199. 142 00:04:45,270 --> 00:04:47,170 Okay, I'll call you or I will text you. 143 00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:48,840 Okay. We'll see which it is. 144 00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,040 - Okay. - Bye. 145 00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:55,550 - Hi. - Hi. Hope you like pinot. 146 00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:56,580 I do. Oh. 147 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,350 Well, you left the price tag on. 148 00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,860 $27? 149 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:01,380 - Jeez, fancy. - Yeah. 150 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,030 The guy at the liquor store offered to razor it off, 151 00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:04,730 and I said, "No, I don't want you to do that. 152 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,630 I want her to know how classy I am." 153 00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:08,770 Oh. Answer: very. 154 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,000 [LAUGHTER] 155 00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:11,600 - Come in. - All right. 156 00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:15,220 [DELICATE PIANO MUSIC] 157 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,940 Well, this smells absolutely delicious. 158 00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,540 Thank you. Spaghetti Bolognese. 159 00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:22,650 It's my only specialty. 160 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,550 It's kind of a hard first date food, though. 161 00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:26,480 Yeah, there's no sexy way to eat spaghetti. 162 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,560 - No. - Unless you're one of those 163 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,520 Disney hobo dogs. They're pretty good at it. 164 00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:30,950 Yeah, or one of those snobs that 165 00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:32,890 twirls their pasta on a spoon. 166 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,430 So un-American. 167 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:35,460 Well, wait a sec... wait. 168 00:05:35,490 --> 00:05:37,160 You put the spoons out. Why'd you do that? 169 00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:38,760 For ice cream, you Communist. 170 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,500 [BOTH LAUGH] 171 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,470 This is fun. 172 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,740 It's been a while since I hung out with a nice guy. 173 00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:47,750 Mom, I'm home! 174 00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:50,310 The movie was cancelled 'cause there was a rat 175 00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:52,380 in the theater that bit a stupid girl's toe. 176 00:05:52,410 --> 00:05:54,020 It's like, "Don't wear sandals to a movie. 177 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,200 Wear sneakers." 178 00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:56,240 Hey, Mr. Griffin. 179 00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,380 I'm sorry. Is it okay if he joins us? 180 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,750 - Yeah. No, no, absolutely. - Okay. 181 00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:02,990 Wouldn't have it any other way. 182 00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:04,490 Guys want to hear more about the rat? 183 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,760 Saw it pretty good. 184 00:06:05,790 --> 00:06:07,190 - Nah. - Sure, honey. 185 00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,840 Yeah. Yeah, let's... Let's hear about the rat. 186 00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:16,039 So like, you know, Cornish game hen... 187 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:16,920 - Mm-hmm. - Pigeons, things like that. 188 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,280 You know, it's basically like a historical recreation of... 189 00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:21,210 [COUGHING, GAGGING] 190 00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:26,390 Like a historical recreation of what Beethoven ate. 191 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,190 - Like a food diary, basically. - Hmm. 192 00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:29,800 - Wow. - Yeah, it's pretty cool. 193 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,850 Mom, can you cut this for me? 194 00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:33,720 The noodles are sticking to my uvula. 195 00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:35,190 I think you're, uh, old enough 196 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,990 to cut up your own spaghetti there, champ. 197 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:38,320 Yeah. 198 00:06:40,290 --> 00:06:43,270 Um, anyway, when Beethoven went deaf... 199 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,530 [KNIFE SQUEAKING] 200 00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:48,899 Uh, his other senses just went absolutely bananas. 201 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,000 What? Sorry. 202 00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:51,630 You know, Colin, I'll just cut it. 203 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,070 Have you ever read any historical food diaries? 204 00:06:55,690 --> 00:06:57,710 I haven't read a food diary per se, 205 00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:58,860 but in "The Diary of Anne Frank," 206 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,910 she talks about the monotony of the potatoes. 207 00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:02,780 - Does that count? - No. 208 00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:04,110 Well, I think it does. 209 00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:06,720 Right, I mean, why wouldn't it count? 210 00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:09,050 Yeah. 211 00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:11,950 [LANGUID MUSIC] 212 00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:13,490 All right, I'll go get dessert. 213 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,590 All right. 214 00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:16,020 Sounds good. 215 00:07:17,790 --> 00:07:18,860 All right. 216 00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:21,500 - I'll give you 20 bucks... - Make it 40. 217 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,930 Fine, $40. 218 00:07:26,370 --> 00:07:27,340 Okay. 219 00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:29,340 Salted caramel sundaes. 220 00:07:29,370 --> 00:07:31,610 Mom, Mr. Griffin gave me 40 bucks. 221 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,810 - For what? - I don't know! 222 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:34,970 [CLEARS THROAT] 223 00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:36,069 [CHUCKLES] 224 00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:37,650 Just... yeah. 225 00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:39,670 [STAMMERS] 226 00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:49,210 [SMOOTH SAXOPHONE MUSIC] 227 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:52,750 ♪ 228 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:53,780 - Ah! - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 229 00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:54,860 Yay. 230 00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,720 Sometimes I play my sax so hard, 231 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,190 I get a tongue rash from the reed. 232 00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:00,030 But the cool thing about a tongue rash is, 233 00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:01,160 you can scratch it with your teeth. 234 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,370 Like this. See? 235 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:05,650 Ugh. 236 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,070 I'm tired. 237 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,240 I'm gonna go to bed. 238 00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,240 Okay. 239 00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:11,010 Well, good night, baby duck. 240 00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:12,620 - Quack! - [LAUGHS] 241 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:13,610 No. 242 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:14,810 So... 243 00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:17,160 Would you like to retire to the sofa? 244 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,780 And we could talk about historical food diaries. 245 00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:22,670 Oh, I'm so sorry. Was that boring? 246 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,970 I thought it was a little more interesting than tongue rashes. 247 00:08:25,010 --> 00:08:26,210 [LAUGHS] I don't know, though. 248 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,970 I think... I think this one wins. 249 00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:29,480 [LAUGHS] Maybe when you do it. 250 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,260 Oh, my god, wait. 251 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,649 What? 252 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:33,580 Can I see your tongue again? Because you know what? 253 00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:35,819 You might have poison ivy, but I'm not sure. 254 00:08:35,820 --> 00:08:38,120 I need to take a little bit of a closer peek. 255 00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:39,350 Mom! 256 00:08:39,390 --> 00:08:41,820 I cut my nostril with the nose hair scissors. 257 00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:43,320 There's blood. 258 00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:46,019 Oh, I'm sorry. I should go help him. 259 00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:47,650 I mean, the poor kid has orange nose hairs. 260 00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:50,160 If he doesn't stay on top of it, he'll be crucified. 261 00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:51,600 - Yeah. - Um... 262 00:08:53,990 --> 00:08:56,050 Thanks for coming by. 263 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:57,860 Oh, okay. 264 00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:58,870 I should go. 265 00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,030 [GRUNTS] 266 00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:01,400 - All right. - [COLIN SNEEZES] 267 00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:03,500 I sneezed on the guest towel. 268 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,070 I think it's totaled. 269 00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:07,840 - Sorry. - Nah, it's okay. 270 00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:09,240 Um, have a good night. 271 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,640 Yeah, you too. I'll see myself out. 272 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,280 - It's cool. - Okay. 273 00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:21,860 [BELL RINGS] 274 00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:23,200 Go. 275 00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:26,220 Sara Baker, sophomore, volleyball, peanut allergy. 276 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,730 Exacta-lootly! 277 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,630 - [LAUGHS] - CROWD: Bring back our back! 278 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,060 Bring back our back! 279 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:34,000 Is that pregnant mouse in the water fountain again? 280 00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:36,740 Please, just let her have her babies in there, Ralph. 281 00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:37,970 [MUFFLED CHANTING CONTINUES] 282 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,340 She's old! 283 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,820 All: Bring back our back! 284 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,080 - Bring back our back! - _ 285 00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,350 Bring back our back! 286 00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:45,350 - You got to... - ALL: Bring back our back! 287 00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:46,619 Hey, please! 288 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,420 You're gonna interrupt classes, all right? 289 00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:49,450 Ladies and... 290 00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:51,970 - Coach. - Good. 291 00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:53,800 The school needs to know that you hate art. 292 00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:54,980 Yeah, you hate it. 293 00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:55,780 I don't hate art. 294 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,200 The... the parents thought 295 00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:58,950 that the back drawing was gateway nudity. 296 00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:00,390 And when you think about it, the back is 297 00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:02,120 around the corner from the boobs, 298 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,060 and then you make a right turn, and you're at the butt. 299 00:10:04,090 --> 00:10:07,530 Sounds like Ralph is thinking a lot about boobs and butts. 300 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,460 Right, while we're out here fighting for art. 301 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,660 Is this a school or a dictatorship, 302 00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:13,870 Chairman Mralph? 303 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,900 - ALL: Chairman Mralph! - All right. 304 00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,670 - ALL: Chairman Mralph! - Guys, Chairman Mralph! 305 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,040 Guys, guys, "Chairman Mralph" 306 00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:21,140 is a little bit of a stretch, okay? 307 00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:23,020 I'm gonna fix this, all right? 308 00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:25,110 - ALL: Chairman Mralph! - Okay, fix it. 309 00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:27,180 ALL: Chairman Mralph! 310 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,850 So what's wrong with you? 311 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,020 I'm sweating so hard, I think I'm gonna pass out. 312 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,419 Well, then lose the turtleneck. 313 00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:33,620 I can't. 314 00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:35,390 And I don't want to talk about it! 315 00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,190 ALL: Chairman Mralph! 316 00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:38,490 Chairman Mralph! 317 00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,060 What? 318 00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:43,170 Oh. You're here! 319 00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:46,690 I mocked up an incriminating photo to send to Lisa Loeb. 320 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,289 It's Miles licking Alanis Morissette's neck. 321 00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:50,530 Wow, Anthony, that... 322 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:51,560 You're an artist. 323 00:10:51,590 --> 00:10:52,560 Go for it. Get it done. 324 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:53,670 Hey, Colin. 325 00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:54,840 You know, I was just thinking... 326 00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:55,770 I'm so curious. 327 00:10:55,810 --> 00:10:58,000 Did you happen to bang your mom last night? 328 00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,910 Because I sure as hell didn't. 329 00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:01,010 - No. - Wait. 330 00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:02,310 Are you dating Colin's mom? 331 00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:03,899 Isn't that a conflict of interest? 332 00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,540 Are you gonna start giving him extra credit 333 00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,700 - because you're doing his mom? - He's not doing my mom. 334 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,030 Yeah, because you wouldn't leave us alone 335 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:09,960 long enough to do it. 336 00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,460 By the way, I want my 40 bucks back. 337 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,310 I tried to leave you alone and go to bed. 338 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,350 Man, you blocked me all night. 339 00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:16,840 You brought out your saxophone. 340 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,750 You showed us how to stop a ceiling fan with your hand. 341 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:19,520 That's not a cool trick. 342 00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:22,870 Mr. Griffin, have you ever dated a single mom? 343 00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:23,900 Uh, yeah, yeah, one time. 344 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,620 But she had a C-section, so it was all good. 345 00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:27,790 - [CHUCKLES] - You are a bad person. 346 00:11:27,830 --> 00:11:29,130 Yeah, I forget you don't get jokes. 347 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,440 Tell your mom that one. She'll love it. 348 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,600 You know, the obvious way to a single mom's heart 349 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,640 is through her child. 350 00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:35,600 You should have shown Colin some love. 351 00:11:35,630 --> 00:11:38,350 - Yeah, she would have popped off on you, boss. 352 00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:40,000 Okay, look, guys. 353 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:40,720 Let's get one thing straight. 354 00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,460 This isn't one of those cheesy 355 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,180 "Jerry Maguire" type situations 356 00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:46,239 where I win the mom by falling in love 357 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,310 with the freaky looking kid. 358 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,460 Fine. 359 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,320 Then it's bye-bye Trish. 360 00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:52,850 All right, shut up, Marcus. Shut up. Let me think. 361 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,940 Okay, we need to make a pros and cons list. 362 00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:56,580 Yeah. That's what we'll do. 363 00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:57,820 Victor, go to the board. 364 00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:00,660 On the pro side, she's, uh... 365 00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:02,080 well, gorgeous. 366 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:03,520 Smart. 367 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,530 She's funny. Talented. 368 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,060 And on the con side... Well, really... 369 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,270 Really, it's just Colin. 370 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,360 I mean, I really hate the Colin part. 371 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,760 Yeah, if you become Colin's dad, 372 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,100 he'll probably be the last face you see 373 00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:19,770 as you take your dying breath. 374 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,319 I know, but I just can't stop thinking about her. 375 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,689 She's probably chilling in a bath tub right now. 376 00:12:24,690 --> 00:12:25,820 She's at work. 377 00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,260 Let me ask you a question. 378 00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:30,060 Does Colin's mom give you butterflies? 379 00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:32,530 What, like, in my tummy? 380 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:34,660 Hell yes, Anthony. 381 00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:36,830 If it's legit tummy butterflies, 382 00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:40,040 then isn't it worth being Colin's fake dad? 383 00:12:41,730 --> 00:12:42,840 Yes. 384 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,330 Yes! 385 00:12:44,370 --> 00:12:45,630 Yes, you guys, it is! 386 00:12:45,670 --> 00:12:47,440 I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna go for it. 387 00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:49,240 I'm crushing hard on Colin's mom. 388 00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:50,730 Yeah. All right, yeah, man. 389 00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:51,510 Let's do it, Colin. 390 00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:52,770 What's up, man? You want to... 391 00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:54,020 - Wait, you want to play catch? - No. 392 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,320 But I do need to build a rocket 393 00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,780 for the father/son rocket launch. 394 00:12:57,810 --> 00:12:59,350 [GROANS] God, I hate that name. 395 00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:00,980 Father/son rocket launch? But, yeah, I'll do it. 396 00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:03,210 I'll do it, yeah. Let's build a rocket together. 397 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,350 I'm gonna suffer through it. 398 00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:05,690 I'm frickin' enamored! 399 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,059 - [APPLAUSE] - Whoo! 400 00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:08,060 Yeah! 401 00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:09,390 I must have her! 402 00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:12,630 [APPALAUSE CONTNUES] 403 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,599 Students must disperse from the lobby 404 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,960 and go back to their classes. 405 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,770 I gotta know what's under that turtleneck. 406 00:13:22,650 --> 00:13:24,720 I have an embarrassing back tattoo. 407 00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:27,800 "M loves KJ"? 408 00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:30,140 Wait, those are your husband's initials. 409 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:31,540 Michelle loves Keith Jones. 410 00:13:31,570 --> 00:13:33,210 Why is that embarrassing? 411 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,080 I got it before I met Keith. 412 00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:36,759 It stands for Kendall Jackson. 413 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,120 The chardonnay? 414 00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:39,990 Please don't tell him I have a tattoo. 415 00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:40,990 He hates chardonnay. 416 00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,100 Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. 417 00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:44,160 Keith has never seen your back, 418 00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:45,470 ever? 419 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,070 I mean, what about bikinis? 420 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,269 What about them? 421 00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:49,660 I mean, are we just gonna bring up anything now? 422 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:50,500 What about lawn mowers? 423 00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:51,500 - No. No. - Okay, everybody, 424 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,070 you know what to do. 425 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,689 You got to be the back to... 426 00:13:55,690 --> 00:13:56,930 ALL: Free the back! 427 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,400 Backs aren't bad, and that's a fact. 428 00:13:59,430 --> 00:14:00,660 - You got to be... - Okay, everyone. 429 00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,800 I've heard your cries for justice. 430 00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:05,490 And I think I found a solution 431 00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:07,920 that will please all sides. 432 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,210 [ALL GASP] 433 00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:18,610 That's body-shaming! 434 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,780 ALL: Body-shamer! 435 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,120 Body-shamer! 436 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:23,820 Body-shamer! 437 00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:24,750 Body-shamer! 438 00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:27,160 - Body-shamer! - Get him! 439 00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:29,830 - ALL: Body-shamer! - Don't let him get away! 440 00:14:31,590 --> 00:14:32,930 All right, now we gotta make sure 441 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,560 we glue these fins on perfectly straight. 442 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,030 It's the only way to humiliate all those other rockets. 443 00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:38,970 Hey, guys. 444 00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:41,300 Just baked these for you. 445 00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,040 Be careful. Don't burn your mouths. 446 00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:44,280 [LAUGHS] 447 00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:45,620 You having fun? 448 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:46,710 He's doing most of it. 449 00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:48,140 Oh, no, that's not true. No. 450 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,760 I was actually just teaching Colin here 451 00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:51,950 the value of two-part epoxy. 452 00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:53,360 - Oh. - Yeah. 453 00:14:53,870 --> 00:14:55,500 Yeah, you got a real special guy 454 00:14:55,530 --> 00:14:56,990 on your hands here, Trish. 455 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,730 I love him. 456 00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,450 I love your son. 457 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,080 Okay. 458 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:02,940 Oh, uh, Col, 459 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,339 your dad said that you called this morning 460 00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:06,209 to ask him to bring by his bike pump today, 461 00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,380 but he can't do it. 462 00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:10,320 [SIGHS] 463 00:15:10,350 --> 00:15:11,629 - Dang it! - Whoa! 464 00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:13,330 Dude, what are you doing, man? Watch the rocket. 465 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,930 I don't care about the dumb rocket. 466 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,790 I wanted my dad to come here, see me and you 467 00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:18,800 building this thing and get super jealous. 468 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:19,940 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 469 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,530 You were using me? 470 00:15:22,030 --> 00:15:23,230 I was just using you. 471 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,600 Yeah, I was, but it didn't work. 472 00:15:25,770 --> 00:15:26,790 Now get! 473 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,030 Did you just tell me to "get"? 474 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:36,780 Are you still here? I said, "Get!" 475 00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:37,980 No, I'm not gonna "get!" 476 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,280 We're sticking to the plan, 477 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,340 and we're building this stupid rocket 478 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,020 and your mom's gonna pop off on me. 479 00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:42,740 Excuse me? 480 00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:44,320 No, no, no, no. 481 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,860 Dude, that's not even my expression. 482 00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:46,960 That's, like, something I heard, like, 483 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,349 one of the girls in my class say. 484 00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:49,900 That's so much worse. 485 00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:51,030 Yeah, that... That sounded bad. 486 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,430 No. No, no. Honestly, Trish. 487 00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:53,570 That's not how I feel about you. 488 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,020 You heard the lady, Jack. 489 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,630 - Get. - Oh, my god. 490 00:15:56,670 --> 00:15:57,940 What is this "get" business? No. 491 00:15:57,970 --> 00:15:59,540 Look, okay, Trish, I'm tired of this. 492 00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:00,629 You gotta choose. 493 00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:02,560 Either him or me. 494 00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:04,400 What? Him! 495 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,730 Obviously him! 496 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:06,870 Aww! [STAMMERS] 497 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,380 [SCOFFS] Come on. Real... For real? 498 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,100 Get! 499 00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:09,880 You know what? Fine. 500 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,570 I'm taking my two-part epoxy. 501 00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:14,480 Oh, my god. 502 00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:20,150 All: Shame on you! Shame on you! 503 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,780 Shame on you! 504 00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:23,720 - Shame on you! - _ 505 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,320 Shame on you! 506 00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:26,590 - Shame on you! - _ 507 00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:29,020 Have you all lost your damn minds? 508 00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:30,620 A Durbin piñata? 509 00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:32,390 Okay, you guys took it way too far. 510 00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:34,090 Everybody, go back to class! 511 00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:35,490 [SIGHS] Oh, my kingdom. 512 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:38,060 What happened to my kingdom? 513 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,430 I'll tell you what happened. 514 00:16:39,470 --> 00:16:41,000 You used to be a cool-ass king, 515 00:16:41,030 --> 00:16:42,730 but now you're wack as hell. 516 00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:44,750 I shut down the protest, Ralph. 517 00:16:44,790 --> 00:16:45,740 'Cause I have your back, 518 00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:47,110 even though you didn't have mine. 519 00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:51,060 That's an incredible likeness. 520 00:16:51,390 --> 00:16:53,200 We just finished the papier-mâché unit. 521 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:54,979 I'm a good teacher, Ralph. 522 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:56,910 I know. You're... you're the best. 523 00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:58,429 I should have supported you. 524 00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:00,400 But I pussed out in front of all those parents. 525 00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:02,479 I... [SIGHS] You know what? 526 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,890 I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. 527 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,700 To make up for it, I am gonna put this 528 00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:10,090 right here. 529 00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:14,060 So that your beautiful, strong, sexy, 530 00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:17,030 brave, empowered back will watch over 531 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,190 every move I make as king of this high school. 532 00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:23,089 Okay. Now you're making this weird. 533 00:17:23,090 --> 00:17:24,060 Weird? 534 00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:25,200 This is art. 535 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,460 Look at the supple shoulder blades. 536 00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:29,880 [GASPS] The voluptuous spine. 537 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,130 You know what? I'm taking this. 538 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,400 You can't be trusted. 539 00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:34,100 You want it too bad. 540 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,140 Dirty Durbs trying to peep my back? 541 00:17:37,170 --> 00:17:38,340 No, please. 542 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,190 All right, guys. 543 00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:43,740 Grade update. 544 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,440 Everybody's got an A 545 00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:47,479 except for Colin, who has an F. 546 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,810 You're just mad because my mom won't give you an F. 547 00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:51,820 CLASS: Ooh! 548 00:17:51,850 --> 00:17:53,780 [LAUGHS] Oh, we're doing "Oohs" now? 549 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,700 Huh? Is that gonna be a thing? 550 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,490 What's the real reason you're mad? 551 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,680 He's just mad 'cause his dad sucks. 552 00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,120 News flash, Colin: 553 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,390 All dads suck. 554 00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:03,290 Okay? All they do is yell at the TV 555 00:18:03,330 --> 00:18:04,910 and burp loudly while talking 556 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:06,170 and forget to take you fishing 557 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,810 every single Saturday for six months 558 00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:09,469 even though you bought ice fishing boots 559 00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:10,440 with your birthday money. 560 00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:12,300 Dads are full idiots! 561 00:18:12,930 --> 00:18:14,860 That hurt runs deep, y'all. 562 00:18:16,410 --> 00:18:17,510 Wearing a ladies' shirt? 563 00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:18,940 It's a male leotard 564 00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:20,740 for a protest that's now over. 565 00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:23,280 Does anyone have an XL cardigan or a shawl? 566 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:26,450 The point is, Colin, nobody likes dads, all right? 567 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,290 Class, raise your hand if you like your dad. 568 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,660 - Yeah. - He's my hero. 569 00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,580 I love my dad even though he restricts my Internet access. 570 00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:33,890 Even you, Devin? 571 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,670 Oh, yeah. My mom's the problem. 572 00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,900 I guess we're the only ones with bad dads. 573 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,540 - [MILITARISTIC MUSIC] - _ 574 00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:47,210 ♪ 575 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,350 [ROCKET HISSES] 576 00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:53,480 All right. 577 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:55,780 Now, if you hit the ball just right, 578 00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:57,280 you should hit one of the rockets 579 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,920 and cause a domino effect. 580 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:02,490 My mom would probably think this is cool of you. 581 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,790 Yeah, well, this isn't about her. 582 00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:06,520 All right, go ahead and line up your shot. 583 00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:07,860 Go ahead. 584 00:19:07,890 --> 00:19:10,260 A little bit wider on your stance there, bud. 585 00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:11,920 Good. 586 00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:13,680 All right. 587 00:19:14,330 --> 00:19:15,740 Give it a blast. 588 00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:20,660 I missed it. 589 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:21,680 Okay. Uh... 590 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,100 Well, look, man. It had a lot of power on it. 591 00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:26,390 [LAUGHS] I certainly felt the wind. 592 00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,660 Here. Let me... let me give it a whirl. 593 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,130 Let's see what we got here. 594 00:19:29,780 --> 00:19:30,830 All right. 595 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:43,890 - [SCREAMS] - Oh! 596 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,260 Ooh! 597 00:19:45,290 --> 00:19:46,530 Ooh-hoo-hoo! 598 00:19:46,930 --> 00:19:47,840 What are you doing, man? 599 00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:49,200 What are you doing? Come on. 600 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,439 [LAUGHTER] 601 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,180 I see them! 602 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,800 - Up there! - Get 'em! 603 00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:57,980 Good morning, Lisa Loeb, my little snuggle bug. 604 00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:00,500 What the hell is this, Miles? 605 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:03,950 That's not me. 606 00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:05,550 Read the caption. 607 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,680 "Nothing better than a quick neck lick 608 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,470 in a DQ parking lot." 609 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,620 - The DQ? - [GLASS SHATTERS] 610 00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:11,890 Is that where you take 611 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,560 all your musician girlfriends, Miles? 612 00:20:14,590 --> 00:20:16,490 - [GLASS SHATTERS] - Alanis Morissette! 613 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,480 [GRUNTS, GLASS SHATTERS] 614 00:20:18,660 --> 00:20:20,150 [LAMP CLATTERS] 615 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,430 No, no. Not my Michelle Obama... 616 00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:23,630 [GLASS SHATTERS] Commemorative plate. 617 00:20:23,670 --> 00:20:25,400 Ah, that's expensive. 618 00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,110 [GLASS SHATTERS, BOOKS THUD] 619 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:29,640 You missed one, baby. 620 00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:31,470 [LAUGHS, POTTERY SHATTERS] 621 00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:32,500 - [GRUMBLES] - No, no, no, no. 622 00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:33,740 Don't do that. You'll put your back out. 623 00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:34,740 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 624 00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:36,400 That... that is not real. 625 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:39,380 That is some exceptionally good photo doctoring, 626 00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:40,580 but it's not real. 627 00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:43,280 This, this heat, 628 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,020 this fire, all this mess: 629 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,370 this, this is real. 630 00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,390 - I hate you. - Good. 631 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,960 Because you can't hate what you don't love. 632 00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:55,640 Huh? 633 00:20:57,630 --> 00:20:58,600 All right. 634 00:20:58,630 --> 00:20:59,930 Yeah. 635 00:20:59,970 --> 00:21:01,970 [intro to Lisa Loeb's "Stay" plays] 43123

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