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NORIKO'S DINNER TABLE

December 2001

I tore off a thread that was dangling from my coat.

I had run away from home.

I arrived at Tokyo Station.

Female, age 17.

Just a kid. That was me.

I carried my big bag pretending I'd just returned from a trip.

Walked to Ginza.

It was right before Christmas.

Bright with neon lights.

Everyone was better dressed than me, and looked cool.

NORIKO

I had a father, a mother, and a sister named Yuka.

I'm done.

Eat, Noriko.

When she has a problem, she can't think of anything else.

I was 17. A junior in high school. Always fighting with my father.

He wanted me to go to a local college, but I knew it would suck.

I wouldn't find a boyfriend or even a friend there.

He peeled a tangerine and put the peel in the ashtray.

Boys in Tokyo are worthless... and...

He hesitated to say.

But I knew. My cousins.

Sato and Kei got pregnant while studying in Tokyo.

Taeko? Hello.

Sato and Kei just came by.

Dad thought, girls go to Tokyo, get pregnant.

Boys are trouble...

I watched the neatly folded peel slowly return to its original shape.

Tangerine, tangerine...

Orange-colored tangerine...

I had a friend named Tangerine in elementary school.

I thought people called her that because her cheeks were orange.

But my assumption was wrong.

One day, when I was with Yuka, someone stopped me on the street.

Norippe? Remember me?

It's me. Tangerine.

I didn't recognize her at first. It was Tangerine, now 17.

What's up, Norippe?

No one called me that anymore. My name's Noriko.

Recognize this uniform?

I hadn't a clue.

Of course you wouldn't. It's actually a costume!

It wasn't a school uniform.

It wasn't a school uniform.

After junior high,

she became a sex worker at this "image club."

I'm handing these out for work.

"All-Girl Fantasy School"? I've heard of this place.

That's my "school" now I was just on my way.

She told me why she was called Tangerine.

Okay, class. Who do you admire?

Mom and Dad.

In 2nd grade, the teacher asked, "Who do you admire?"

Tangerine.

That's how I got my nick- name. You didn't know?

No.

I don't know why I said that. Maybe I really liked tangerines.

She laughed loudly. She looked happy.

Gotta go to work.

Nice seeing you.

Bye.

I still love tangerines.

She waved goodbye and left.

On our way home, Yuka and I talked about our lives.

I was shocked that Tangerine already had a job.

I admire Tangerine. She's independent.

So am I.

You don't understand.

What?

What it means to live as a woman. She's living it.

All I did was skip class and read novels intended for adult women.

Tangerine was so inspiring to me.

Idiot.

Yuka called me an idiot.

She's a whore.

You don't even like being a woman. You wish you were a man.

All I'm saying is, she's mature.

Are you saying that 'cause Dad is always telling you to grow up?

Gotta go. Bye.

Grow up...

Like my father...?

He was a reporter for a local paper called the Tiny Tokai Times.

Didn't matter if there was a war abroad or a massive earthquake.

Over here!

Yeah, I'm coming.

- It was a deer? - Yes.

He wrote about deer destroying rice fields...

Beautiful sky today!

"Deer Rampage Continues"

Or about holiday shoppers.

"Shoppers Galore"

Just peaceful, trivial stuff.

You know I love this town...

I had no interest in his work.

But I ended up writing for the school newspaper.

Published once a month.

I was editor-in-chief, always running around school.

Let's ask for more computer time.

Pleased to meet you. This is our new reporter.

I thought Dad's paper was too complacent.

So, by criticizing school rules, I felt I was rebelling against Dad.

For example, advocating unlimited access to computers.

I think we should be able to use the computers anytime we want.

'Cause if we could, then we'd get much more...

...information.

I think we deserve that.

Yeah, but...

The rules need to change. We need information.

We only had one PC at home.

Definitely not enough.

I'm still using it. Come back in 2 hours.

Cactus Park was fun, huh? Let's go there again.

Noriko angry because she can't use the computer. It's a scoop!

One more picture.

Let's take a picture together here.

Excuse me, would you mind?

Let's go over there.

I was a teenage girl stuck in the boondocks.

I needed more internet access so I can talk to girls all over the country.

Gotta get out of here.

Go somewhere different.

What?

I'm definitely going.

Am I crazy?

Whatever.

I wanted to go somewhere different...

...but I didn't know where.

Stubborn, ditsy, rebellious, reckless. I had to go forward.

After a while, the teacher decided we could use the PCs until 5 PM.

What's the verdict?

You're good to go, Noriko.

Really? Can I go use them now?

I had a favorite website.

A strange name...

It was called Haikyo.com.

There, 16- and 17-year-old girls talked about school and life.

I quickly became a regular member. My username - Mitsuko.

The name of French perfume.

When I became Mitsuko, I was no longer a naive country girl.

And I made some friends.

Hello, Cripple #5. I'm Mitsuko.

"To Mitsuko: Hello."

Hello, Long Neck.

Hello, Midnight.

Hello, Broken Dam.

"To Mitsuko: Hello."

And Ueno Station 54...

Hello, Ueno Station 54.

"To Mitsuko: Hello."

Whenever Ueno Station 54 showed up, it felt like we all became united.

Like we were all standing on a taut guitar string.

And the conversation would begin, as if in Morse code...

I'm walking... There's a taut guitar string and...

I'm on top of it.

I was happy and surprised that I found my best friends like this.

They were girls in Tokyo.

I had to go to Tokyo.

(Everything OK?)

But you haven't even met Ueno in person.

I was about to tell him I'm not going to Tokyo to get pregnant...

...but to meet friends that I can relate to, when...

the blackout hit.

Our house was old, and the breaker was fickle this time of year.

No big deal, they thought. Mom slowly got up.

Must be the breaker again.

Yuka came out of her room.

Turn it back on, Dad.

Taeko, everything OK?

I reset the breaker, but...

Dec. 10, 2001.

I had lived in Toyokawa for 17 years.

A cold winter night.

I was so cold and confused.

In the dark...

I packed my bags.

Tokyo, Tokyo, Tokyo...

I had no idea what was in Tokyo, but I decided to gamble.

I had to find out.

I had to go for it.

The important things... my diary, money, necklace, favorite shirt...

I tried to think what else. Did I really need anything?

Anything at all?

I was born to breathe. I wasn't breathing 'cause I was born.

I inhaled oxygen and exhaled carbon dioxide. I felt alive.

I wanted to go somewhere different, but I didn't know where.

Female, 17, ditsy, stubborn, rebellious. Just a kid. That was me.

I realized I'm a virgin. Never even had a boyfriend.

I was worried about everything. But I cherished this anxiety.

Men, life, love, growing up... It didn't feel real.

Life didn't feel real.

I wanted to tackle something. I had to go somewhere to find it.

I wanted to live, challenge, wish, forget, learn, know, ask...

...see, stare, understand, hear, listen, speak, meet...

...and be there.

I wanted to stand with my own heart. To walk with my own feet.

I had to talk to Ueno Station 54. So I logged on to Haikyo.com.

I knew she'd be there.

www.haikyo.com

To the message board.

"Ueno Station 54? It's Mitsuko."

"I finally ran away from home and came to Tokyo."

"I'm at an Internet cafe now. I'll stay in a cheap hotel tonight.

"Can we meet in person tomorrow? I'm free all day."

"Maybe I'll be free forever."

"I've been pretending to be busy until today. Now I feel naked."

"Suddenly without restraint, I feel kind of naked."

"Like I'm walking around naked. I'm a little self-conscious."

"Today, I realized I'm still a virgin."

"Maybe that's because I feel naked now."

I sound like any other girl.

Did I disappoint her?

We met online this past summer.

Ueno Station 54 had been a moderator on this site for a long time.

- "To Mitsuko: How are you?" - "To Ueno Station 54: Fine."

She replied to all the messages from girls crying for help.

Hello, I'm Mitsuko.

"You can do it!"

"Be strong, Mitsuko."

"You have it hard, too"

I became Mitsuko and tried so hard to be just like Ueno Station 54.

I wondered. Could Noriko meet Ueno Station 54 in person?

I'm not really Mitsuko. Something obvious I just realized.

I was afraid Ueno Station 54 wouldn't want to meet me.

I received her reply.

She wrote "I'll be at Ueno Station #54 at 11 AM."

I went to Ueno right away. Ueno at night was eerier than Ginza.

SHIMABARA

MITSUKO

I set my alarm for 9 AM.

I needed 2 hours to get ready.

Breakfast, makeup... No, just to be ready emotionally.

I faded into darkness. But I was ripe.

I was ripe for growth.

I didn't dream. But when I got up, I felt like I was in a dream.

I was proud that I could do this.

I was Mitsuko.

Once again, I tore off a thread...

dangling from my coat.

I'd left home...

I threw away the thread into the past.

I didn't know what Ueno Station #54 meant.

Where is #54?

I don't know.

What's #54?

No idea. Sorry.

Almost 11 AM.

I walked around the station.

I should've left my luggage at the hotel.

105.

133.

90.

84, 79, 74...

Almost there.

54.

Ueno Station 54?

Mitsuko?

6 months later,

at Shinjuku Station...

the incident

happened.

54 high school girls threw themselves in front of a train.

- What were they thinking? - They hide their inner selves.

"7:29 PM, Track 8"

According to the police report, the 54 girls were...

According to an eyewitness...

Yeah, just ordinary girls...

"TOGETHER WE'LL DIE..."

It's a tragedy.

According to the police report, the 54 girls...

...were not all from the same school.

No suicide notes were found.

The platform was drenched in blood...

"54 Dead at Shinjuku"

I wanted to be silly.

Just like all my classmates.

Like all the girls my age...

I wanted to laugh loudly and be silly.

I hated crying. I didn't wanna cry.

YUKA

Yuka, stop.

Thought I'd jump?

Just kidding.

Ever considered suicide?

Ever considered suicide?

Maybe my sister killed herself.

Being silly.

You know the recent mass suicide in Tokyo?

At Shinjuku?

I hear most victims remain unidentified.

They're still trying to separate the bodies.

54 of 'em!

I hated being silly.

You sound amused.

But I couldn't help it.

They jumped so happily, right? Maybe Sis was there.

No, she just ran away. Probably with some guy.

You think so?

Yeah.

Maybe.

What, you want her dead?

I understand, Sis. I know everything.

I know you're alive somewhere.

I hear your heartbeat.

54 girls from different schools. How'd they manage to meet?

I happen to know.

How?

It's a secret.

A secret?

I know the secret.

Hey, c'mon. Tell me, Yuka.

Wait, Yuka. Tell me!

Stop! Now check this out.

What?

The red dots are women.

The white ones are men.

Cut it out!

Fine.

What's this?

The night before the mass suicide...

54 new red dots appeared.

It's a signal.

A signal?

For suicide?

Yeah.

Or maybe a threat.

What's this?

"Are you connected to yourself?"

Am I connected to myself, Sis?

Ueno Station 54?

Mitsuko?

Hi, I'm Kumiko.

Nice to meet you.

You too.

This is my dad.

Hi, I'm Kumiko's father.

My mom.

I'm her mother.

I'm her brother. Nice to meet you.

Let's go, Mitsuko.

Dec. 2001.

I wrote this on Haikyo. com.

Are you listening, Yuka?

"That day, I was suffering from PMS, and rubbing my stomach."

"I thought about my sister Yuka. I knew she was worried about me."

"We got in their van and drove to Kumiko's grandmother's house."

Grandma!

"Her grandma came out and hugged Kumiko's brother."

"The grandma and Kumiko's parents hugged, too. She was moved."

"When Kumiko said, 'Hi, Grandma,' she started crying"

I wondered what Yuka would think if she saw this.

I kind of thought she had been posting on the board.

This girl "Yoko" sounded like Yuka. Was it Yuka?

See ya.

Wait. Hey, wait up!

I wondered what she'd think if she found out about me.

"Yuka, I'm good friends with everyone on this site."

"Surprised? We're both here now, so be nice to me, OK?"

"Understand, Yuka?"

"By the way, are you connected to yourself?"

"I wrote about Ueno Station 54 before. Ueno Station Locker #54."

"When she decided to call her self Ueno Station 54..."

"that's when it all began."

I come here every night at 8 to check on my stuff.

Dad gave me this music box for Christmas when I was 6.

"None of the stuff was actually hers."

Mom wore this to the hospital when my brother was born.

Cute.

Yeah?

I used this harmonica during Game Day in kindergarten.

"She just collected a bunch of stuff that people had left behind."

"And made up her own stories."

These rain boots were the first things I asked Mom to buy me.

But it didn't rain much, so I wore them on sunny days.

"She had no genuine memories. She just didn't give a shit."

You wanna put a memory in here?

Me?

This.

"Ever since I met Kumiko, I've been thinking that she and I are similar."

"Maybe it means I'm fabricating my past to become a new woman."

"I'm no longer Noriko. I'm Mitsuko, the new me."

What's this?

Mitsuko's umbilical cord.

"I finally became the person I always wanted to be."

Your umbilical cord goes here.

"Everything is our made-up story...

...Isn't it wonderful, Yuka?"

"No End to Rash of Suicides"

Let's go.

Right.

The pomelos are doing well this year.

- What about damage from the birds? - Well...

Tetsu, the photo, please.

Oh, right.

I decided to become Yoko, and be connected to myself.

A clue for Dad. I wondered if he'd notice.

Free tissues.

I kept hearing my sister's voice, like a radio that wouldn't turn off.

My sister's voice...

Taeko. Taeko...

Dad was shocked that I followed in my sister's footsteps.

Where are you?

It was a month after I ran away...

...that Dad finally started looking thoroughly for clues.

"Daddy"

He quit his job right after I left.

As of today...

I will be resigning.

For a few weeks, he had searched for me and my sister.

But he lacked any understanding of us.

Finally, he started looking for clues in our room...

I stopped writing right there. I was in class.

I wondered, if I ran away like my sister, what would the man do?

What would he do?

How would he know anything about us? The clue I had left for him?

Accidentally, Tetsuzo would find it behind that poster in our room.

"Yuka's handwriting," he'd think.

"Ueno Station 54 Haikyo"

A month later, Tetsuzo's wife Taeko started to help him.

They searched their daughters' room and obtained pieces of information.

They checked every website their daughters had visited.

"1. Noriko was friends with a woman named Ueno Station 54."

"2. Ueno Station 54 meant the locker #54 at Ueno Station."

Tetsuzo, a former reporter, knew what he was doing.

Meanwhile, he stopped sharing information with his wife.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

He thought what he discovered was beyond her comprehension.

Like saying aliens had abducted Yuka and Noriko.

If he was correct, he knew he couldn't ever tell Taeko.

As conjecture turned to conviction, he knew that he was in over his head.

He was afraid. He was staring into a formidable mass of magma.

He was sure that his wife would ridicule him if he told her.

"Suicide Club Exists." The tabloid headline matched his conclusion.

He knew the Suicide Club existed.

He had been fooling himself that...

...Toyokawa was some kind of paradise, apart from the dangers of the world.

But his cardboard Toyokawa had suddenly become a bleeding corpse.

The Suicide Club was confronting him.

"What's your connection to you, and to your family?"

"How are you connected to yourself?" Tetsuzo felt the club was asking him.

Dec. 11, 2002.

After 3 months of investigation...

he wrote the following:

"1. The Suicide Club exists."

"2. Members meet on Haikyo.com."

"3. The dots on Haikyo.com represent suicides."

"The white ones are men. The red ones are women."

What was I writing?

Where's Tangerine?

I don't know.

On to the last scene. This is where the trouble begins.

What power is making the magma flow?

Tetsuzo tried to speculate...

But he reminded himself to look only at the facts.

He wrote so hard that he could see his writing on the next page.

Wait...

What if I tore this page from my notebook and went to Tokyo...

Who would shade my blank pages with a pencil to discover what I wrote?

I managed to reach my sister's heart. Would Dad reach mine?

Nobody would care about my imprint.

People vanish all the time.

A beautiful day in Toyokawa...

That was the last time I saw the ocean.

And the last time I watched the sunset there.

KUMIKO

What's wrong?

Nothing.

PMS?

Kumiko... Ueno Station?

Call me Ueno Station if you want.

Real name?

Here.

Hello.

Grandma, it's been so long.

The first day, we went to Kumiko's grandma's house.

I'm almost done with elementary school.

Good for you. Maybe I should give you a gift.

I wasn't related to them at all, but I was there...

...and it was cozy.

They were the epitome of happiness.

It was so great to see them.

I had lived as a member of the Shimabara family for 17 years.

But we had been cold and distant, hardly connected.

The bonds holding Kumiko's family together were like fat pipes.

Each relationship an artery of happiness.

Kumiko's happy family.

I wanted so badly to be a member of this family.

We'll visit again.

We waved and said goodbye to Grandma...

...and then left for another grandmother's house.

Come on, Mitsuko.

The other grandmother also gave us a hearty welcome.

How are you?

They greeted each other.

This time I wasn't so nervous for some reason.

The conversation was exactly the same.

This is my classmate Mitsuko.

Thanks.

The most ideal brother in the world.

Kumiko helped her mom in the kitchen.

The perfect mother and daughter.

Kumiko's dad gave Grandma a shoulder massage.

Could there be a more family- like family anywhere in the world?

Make yourself at home, Mitsuko.

She called me Mitsuko.

I, as Mitsuko, became a member of this family.

"The most important thing, Yuka: You must be connected to yourself."

"I'm connected to myself, Yuka,"

"You understand, Yuka?"

The members of Kumiko's family were connected to themselves.

Wait 5 minutes, then come inside.

Okay...

Grandpa.

You're late, Mitsuko.

Where were you?

Mitsuko.

Come see your grandfather.

Mitsuko is here.

Mitsuko...

Come closer...

Grandpa!

Grandpa.

The new girl is good.

He likes you.

Congratulations.

You even change your toothbrush to suit each client.

Pick yours.

I'll take this one.

A great story can wake you up. There's this one story...

There was a baby born in a locker.

Born in a locker?

Years later, the mother found out the girl's whereabouts and went to...

...see her.

No way.

They met.

Really?

Yeah, but the woman was a bad actress. She sucked at playing a mother.

Once upon a time, there was a family. Parents and two daughters.

They were seemingly happy.

However...

The mother was smart and polite.

The father was hard-working.

But he didn't try to understand his daughters. Their individuality.

That's why they ran away.

The first time in Tokyo's Suginami Ward.

Stray cats roamed the back alleys like blood flows through a vein.

Stray cats form families instantly.

No need to feel sorry for them. They're tough. They own this town.

We have to relate to each other like stray cats do.

We own Tokyo, OK?

We do?

Cool.

While I was chewing gum, I thought...

"Yes, we own Tokyo."

A middle-aged man came out. Unkempt hair. Unshaven face.

What are you wearing?

Get in.

We went inside.

At that point, I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

But I knew Kumiko would tell me.

This way.

I walked down the hall.

I saw many mortuary tablets placed on the family altar.

Photographs. His family, probably.

We went into the living room and followed his orders.

Sit!

He lit a cigarette. I sensed that he was my "father."

I looked at Kumiko.

She looked cute lost in reflection.

She closed her eyes.

I saw shiny droplets under her lashes.

Don't cry, stupid.

But...

I'm not a kid anymore. Let me do what I want.

Dad.

My turn.

Dad looked at me with teary eyes. I loved Dad.

I was his daughter. He was a lonely, stubborn man.

Suddenly, I had a vision of the Tiny Tokai Times.

Headline "Dad is Lonely"

No, not true.

That wasn't my dad.

My real dad was sitting in front of me.

He looked depressed.

Ever since...

...you girls disappeared, Daddy's been...

...thinking about you nonstop.

I didn't forget for a moment.

We shouldn't have come back.

Wait.

We ran down the hall, opened the door violently.

I heard Dad sobbing behind me.

I cried.

I couldn't stop.

You crying?

Let's go back, OK?

Slurring my words, I tried to convince her. She smiled.

Let's go back.

Yes, let's go back.

Let's do everything over.

Can you hear me, Yuka? Can you hear my voice?

I cried with my face buried in his chest, Yuka.

I had never done anything like that.

I was moved.

Kumiko snuggled up to us and sobbed.

We reconciled.

Eat all you want.

Sorry it's not much.

Next time I'll get more food. A variety of dishes.

It'll be fun.

Your dad just won big on...

...bicycle races.

Awesome, Dad.

Great.

Horse racing, Pachinko... Lately I've been winning them all.

It's like a miracle.

You're so lucky.

So, with that money...

I want us to start over.

I won't cause you any trouble.

Your mother is watching over us from heaven.

Just got kind of emotional, huh?

Let's eat. We have dessert too.

This is a little too sweet.

Time's up.

Well... can we finish dinner?

Time's up.

You're right.

Time just flew by.

A little bit longer, Dad.

Really?

Yeah, you just got back, so...

Don't leave again.

Dad.

Don't go. Please stay.

Don't get carried away, asshole.

Rules are rules, you fuck. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Let's get out of here.

Get up.

Get the fuck up.

Wanna stay here forever?

"Yuka? By now, you know what we do?"

"It's called 'family rental.' You know it?"

That... that was fun. Very fun.

"Kumiko's birthday is coming up. 25 years since being born in a locker."

"We're trying to decide which family to celebrate with."

1 year later

In Tokyo, I was waiting for her.

Kumiko, a.k.a. Ueno Station 54. I knew she'd be here.

Excuse me. Kumiko, right?

I'd like to talk to you about something.

An ordinary girl.

If you have any questions about our services, please call this number.

What?

I can't explain anything to you in person.

You can't run away from me.

"Your support. Personnel placement. We take all orders"

I'll get you.

"...24 Dead..."

"... Mass Suicide..."

They're late.

Are they here?

Who?

That guy?

Him?

No.

Be cool, be cool, be cool...

They're not here yet.

Mr. Shimabara?

Yes.

What do you wanna know?

What?

I wanna know the truth.

Be cool...

Be cool...

Be cool...

Be cool...

Are you connected to you, Tetsuzo?

What?

Are you connected to yourself?

Yes. That's why I'm here.

I know all about you.

Good for you.

I used to be a reporter.

Is this Suicide Club's headquarters?

Suicide Club? No such thing.

Theories of cults and mass hysteria, of cult groups embracing messiahs...

...and the apocalypse, all linked to a Suicide Club.

Suicide Club this, Suicide Club that.

It's even in the media.

Don't pretend like you don't know

But it seems like they've forgotten about that incident at Shinjuku.

54 people died there.

But humans are forgetful creatures.

People forget everything.

There is no Suicide Club.

Be cool...

It's a product of your apathetic curiosity.

Be cool...

At best, one might call it a "Suicide Circle" instead.

It's a circle, you see.

A circle?

Anyway, imagine that the Sun Goddess was born in a locker.

The collapse of civilization began at the #54 locker at Ueno Station.

Ueno Station, locker #54.

She runs a family-rental business called I.C. Corp.

"Three-Day-Old Baby Found in Locker"

When requested, they go spend time with their clients...

...and pretend to be their family members.

Sometimes for 10 years or 20 years.

What is he saying? What is he talking about?

She has many companies, including several masquerading as car rentals.

Do you understand?

What about the Suicide Club?

What about it?

It's the result of Kumiko's grudge, right?

What Kumiko wanted was...

...to live a normal life and be a normal girl, right?

So she acted like a normal girl in family-rental situations.

But that wasn't enough.

She wanted revenge.

She wanted to turn every kid into Kumiko.

There's nothing more to tell you.

What?

I told you everything.

Now, everyone else is starting to realize what they have to do.

Don't you know?

Be cool, be cool...

You tried so hard to figure us out.

I know all about you. But what do you know?

You used to be a reporter. But it's over and you can relax now

I want my daughters back.

"Missing"

"Searching for Lost Puppies"

It's time for you to wake up to your role.

Who are you?

You said you were connected to yourself, but are you really?

You're not believable as a reporter...

...or a father.

The world is full of lies that people can't play their roles convincingly.

They fail as husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, children, etc.

So, the only way to figure out what we can be...

...is to lie openly and pursue emptiness.

Feel the desert.

Experience loneliness.

Feel it.

Survive the desert.

That is your role.

That night, I had a strange dream.

The desert.

Was this what he meant?

I was in their hideout.

Was this really their hideout?

I sensed Noriko and Yuka were here.

I knew they were alive.

They were here.

I felt their presence profoundly.

Noriko... her voice...

Yuka... 5 years old...

running into the kitchen...

holding the newspaper...

They were alive.

Why did Noriko run away from home during a blackout in late 2001?

Tetsuzo, what's your connection to Toyokawa? To your family?

To yourself?

State it in 50 words or less.

Yuka.

Yuka.

Noriko.

I heard that guy's voice.

Suddenly I was back in the desert.

I had to go on and find them.

I woke up.

TETSUZO

Hello?

Tetsu? It's me.

I'm almost there.

What story are you working on?

I'll tell you later.

OK. I'll see you shortly.

What would I say to Yuka?

I wondered.

What was she feeling when she wrote this story? I couldn't bear the thought.

She disappeared the next day...

This was no hypothetical situation.

She was clearly expressing anger at me.

She wrote: "He quit his job the day after she ran away."

I didn't.

I went to work like nothing happened...

like when Noriko disappeared.

Is it OK like this?

That's fine.

About the new Toyokawa history corner...

The following day, our top story was about Toyokawa's public library.

It was 2 months later that I finally quit my job.

Because my wife killed herself.

May I take a picture?

I thought Yuka would be shocked.

I was an even worse father than she had imagined.

I chose my career over my family.

I took pride in my work because this newspaper was a symbol of peace.

The blue sky...

the ocean...

the harbor

farms and mountains...

Tokokawa was the perfect town.

I wrote pastoral fluff pieces like an artist sketching the blue sky.

Inside this world lived my wife, Noriko and Yuka.

They were all residents of this perfect little place.

Point at that thing.

Look at Daddy.

Let's take a picture.

Picture time.

Come on, Noriko.

Right there.

Point at that thing.

Ready?

Impressive.

Come take a look at this.

Noriko, Yuka, come on.

Look.

A happy family.

When my wife did a painting based on that photograph...

I failed to notice my daughters' expressions.

Yuka wrote: "All he understood was that he didn't understand them at all."

When I read that, I cried.

Fuck this.

A bunch of crap.

I had all these notes on the walls of my room.

Fuck all this.

A month later...

My wife died.

She was tired.

Taeko.

I read the notes repeatedly.

Yuka saw right through me.

She could simulate me, but I couldn't simulate her actions...

...or my wife's.

Right here.

Here.

I'm so sorry.

It's all my fault.

Had I been a good mother...

they wouldn't have...

What? Don't say that.

It's not your fault.

It's all right.

Taeko.

What are you still doing up?

Taeko?

Hey, Taeko?

Hey...

While I averted my eyes from the bloody stench of reality,

my daughters disappeared from this forced portrait of harmony.

Taeko!

Taeko!

Calm down.

It's all right.

The red balloons were gone.

I would've caught them if they'd promised to take me to my girls.

Tetsu.

How you been?

Hey. This way.

What's the hurry?

Sit.

You know the Suicide Club?

I started talking right away.

A summary of my life in 30 sec.

I then explained why I was in Tokyo.

I then handed him my notes...

and told him...

...to finish what I had started, if something happened to me.

I don't understand.

Things have changed.

After today, I don't know if I'll be safe.

You're the only one I can trust with this information.

What exactly do you want me to do?

If you disappear, then what?

Suppose this Suicide Club exists. What am I supposed to do with it?

You'll know what to do. It's right up your alley.

I'm gonna go now

Wait here for a woman, Kumiko.

She'll be here in a minute.

Tell her you want a family.

This is the scenario...

My daughters, Noriko and Yuka.

They'll play your daughters.

Kumiko will play your wife, Taeko.

Noriko and Yuka will be called...

...Mitsuko and Yoko, respectively.

Their favorite aliases.

Anyway, I have to go.

I'll tell you more later.

Yeah?

You called us?

Yes.

We appreciate your business.

Come on in.

Come on in.

Please sit.

So, let's talk.

You want to be the father, correct?

Yes.

You want a wife and two daughters?

Yes.

Look through this photo album and pick who you want.

I like this girl.

The older sister will be Mitsuko.

The younger sister will be Yoko.

And my wife...

Hey, Sis.

Sis?

Mitsuko doesn't need to act right now.

No acting when you have no role.

I was embarrassed.

I knew she wasn't my real sister anymore.

I needed more practice.

You need more practice.

You're Yoko.

She's Mitsuko.

Not Yuka, not Noriko.

Not sisters.

Forget that.

Memorize this address.

Study the area.

Stores, banks, cigarette machines...

Know where everything is.

He wants to act like he's been in this town for 20 years.

So we have to act like we've been here for 20 years.

He wants us to be his family members.

I'm his wife.

You're his daughters.

This time you're sisters.

This guy is your father.

They stared at the photograph...

...closed their eyes,

and imagined being his daughters.

This helped the father become flesh and blood.

This helped the father become flesh and blood.

I stared at the customer's face. Not to become his wife...

...but to make sure it wasn't the same guy from before.

That guy I met-Tetsuzo.

I knew for sure he was behind this.

Tetsuzo Shimabara.

Mitsuko.

Yes.

Do you still have the coat you were wearing when you ran away?

Yeah.

You have it now?

Yeah.

Can I see it?

Sure.

I remember this.

Can you put it on?

Okay.

Can you imitate Noriko with this?

I want you to wear it today, Mitsuko.

Former sisters...

He's not a regular client.

Be careful.

They weren't ready for this.

People often came to us to relive their past.

Business card.

5 years ago, I met someone who claimed to be my real mother.

She begged for a chance to fix our relationship.

Sayuri Yoshida? You're a "flower coordinator"?

What's that?

You read my letter?

Yeah.

I read it, Mom.

I tried calling her Mom.

Thank you.

Mom.

Once again.

Slowly.

Mom.

Mitsuko.

An unfamiliar name.

Mom.

You know how much I missed you?

I'm sorry, Mitsuko.

Who's Mitsuko?

I always think about you.

Thank you, Mitsuko.

Where's Dad?

We're back together now

And?

God, you suck at acting. You wanna switch?

What do you mean?

You want me to play the mother's role?

Now you listen to me.

If you want, I can play your mother, you bitch.

A locker is my mother.

I told her a locker was my mother.

The woman cried and screamed, but I didn't give a shit.

- You're so cruel! - I'm cruel? Fine, then.

Even if she was my real mother, she didn't convince me at all.

Express more suffering.

Just an amateur actress.

She couldn't play it well.

Can't even cry well?

I thought about showing her how to play the role properly.

I want to start over.

Would Tetsuzo say that too?

Practice with us.

I'll do anything.

She'll be training as mother for us.

Sayuri.

I'll do anything.

Take her.

Wait.

Bring along your man. We'll make him a "father."

He's here now

Where?

Mitsuko.

Take him too.

Their daughter was probably named Mitsuko.

Mitsuko...

A few years later, a girl named Mitsuko showed up.

If you do a good job tonight, you'll finally become the real you.

OK.

Mitsuko?

OK.

But remember, you're not real sisters. It's all acting.

The guy will play your father.

Don't let him confuse you.

OK?

I had all the lights on.

I heard a car stop outside.

It was a gamble.

They're here.

What did I want?

To regain my pride and dignity?

No, I just wanted to show them what I was capable of.

This was a party.

A surprise party.

I grasped my wife's knife that I had in my pocket.

I suddenly regretted my whole life.

Yet this sensation of regret felt oddly dear to me.

How was Hokkaido?

We're home.

I had looked for a house that resembled my own.

This one's very similar.

You're right.

- Can we go look at it now - Sure.

Thanks.

Here.

Great.

I think it meets your criteria.

Can we go inside?

Sure.

Be careful.

Put the cabinet in this room.

I transported everything.

Furniture, Noriko's stuff, Yuka's stuff...

Everything.

We're home.

I'm exhausted.

Welcome home.

Hi, Dad.

I'm so tired.

I missed you.

Noriko and Yuka carried their big travel bags.

The first time in 2 years seeing my daughters...

My heart was pounding. The repressed emotions welled up.

Mitsuko, Yoko...

Something wrong?

"How was Hokkaido?"

Ikeda started a conversation.

I humored him.

Mitsuko, smiling, got up and went to hug him.

I missed you.

I missed you too.

It wasn't the same without you.

Corny acting. Was this what their lonely, desperate clients wanted?

But here I was, lonely and hiding in a closet.

I've prepared sukiyaki for you.

Wonderful.

Oh, no.

What?

Taeko, come here.

What?

Problem?

What's the matter?

I forgot to buy meat.

What was I thinking?

You're just tired.

It's all right.

I'll go buy it.

But you just got back.

It's OK.

I'll be right back.

Get me 3 packs of Cherry Cigarettes, too.

OK.

I needed to buy time.

Cherry Cigarettes were hard to find.

Kumiko was gone.

I heard the door shut.

Vegetables, shirataki noodles...

Ikeda went back to the room.

Put your bags in your room.

Sis?

Yeah?

Been a long day, huh?

Yeah.

Just like old times, huh?

Come downstairs.

Hurry.

OK.

I didn't have much time.

I had to act efficiently.

My daughters were smiling.

They looked so lovely.

I'd made up my past and stuffed it all into that cold, metal locker.

But reality is soft like a cardboard box.

So fragile it would dissolve in the rain.

An outline... Humans have an outline.

I wanted to hem him into a solid father.

It wasn't long ago that Broken Dam was stabbed to death.

Phone for you.

Hello? Nice to hear from you.

What?

He wants to kill me.

You're gonna die?

Maybe. Could you leave?

Cheerfully, Broken Dam delivered her final lecture.

I took psychology.

In class, a bully and his victim reversed roles...

...and the bully felt the victim's pain for the first time and wailed.

He what?

He wept.

- Sorry I'm late. - Have a seat.

The bully learned his lesson and never bullied again.

So, someone has to play the role of a victim.

Everyone wants to be champagne, not the glass. A flower, not the vase.

But the world needs glasses and vases. These roles need to be filled.

Like a master/servant relationship. Maybe that's how capitalism is?

- What's capitalism? - I'll tell you later

Lovers, spouses, family members...

We all need to reverse roles and...

...figure out what each of us is meant to be.

Survival of the fittest?

So cute.

We need rabbits. Not just lions.

Rabbits and lions can't switch places, but we human beings can.

Some will kill. Some will be killed.

That's the circle of life, though there are contradictions.

There are no perfect circles to be found anywhere in nature.

But if you draw a circle with a compass and a big fat marker...

...a thick outline will make it seem perfect.

I'll give you a sense of perfection, Tetsuzo.

You can be a lion. I'll be a rabbit.

I don't need thick outlines.

My metal box is starting to rot.

I'm gonna go to a higher level.

A rabbit, a suicide, a killer, evil, water overflowing from a glass..

I'll be whatever no one else wants to be.

I'm sick of shameless out- lines of people seeking happiness.

They don't wanna be rabbits. They just wanna eat rabbits.

There's no such jungle.

While our club expanded...

Broken Dam, Cripple #5, Long Neck, Midnight... they all died.

Some killed themselves. Some were killed.

Broken Dam went to see a client who hated his wife. I went along.

Red carpet in the hall.

I'll turn it on.

You know what song he requested?

- Some SMAP song? - Nope.

What?

What?

Blood won't be noticeable here.

- I got it. "Wine-Red Heart"? - Nope.

Just turn on the radio in 30 sec.

OK.

Why weren't you with me that day?

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

- "Bright Red Sun"? - Nope.

Forgive me.

Why did you go see him? You fuckin' love him?

I'm sorry I betrayed your trust.

This next song is a request from someone named... Broken Dam?

It's called "Blossom of a Red Rose."

Ah, "Blossom of a Red Rose."

It's your favorite. Let's sing.

Shut up.

...a rose has bloomed... ...a bright red rose...

...in my lonely garden...

...one tiny rose...

...in my lonely garden...

...oh rose... little rose...

...just stay...

...in bloom...

Here. Thank you.

Thanks.

A look of satisfaction on his big fat stupid face. A happy murderer.

"Forgive me, sweetheart," Broken Dam said over and over.

"You deserve this, you fuckin' whore."

The man stabbed her repeatedly.

Broken Dam played her role and died happily.

Did she really die?

Yeah.

That's amazing!

You're next.

I'll do my best.

"Just stay forever in bloom"

"A rose has bloomed, a bright red rose"

"In my lonely garden a rose has bloomed"

"Just one rose, a tiny rose"

"My lonely garden is suddenly bright"

"Oh rose, oh little rose..."

Cripple #5, Long Neck, and Midnight...

...jumped off the platform.

I made Mitsuko witness it.

I wanted her to undertake a task of such magnitude someday.

She was still seeking happiness. She had come to Tokyo to be happy.

But I knew she'd transcend it.

"All of a sudden The rose lost its petals"

"My garden is lonely once again"

After I finished shopping, I headed home, a happy wife.

THE KNIFE IN MY POCKET

What?

Are you OK, Dad?

Something wrong, Dad?

They kept saying "Dad." Was that how they pleased all their "fathers"?

There's someone I want you to meet.

Who?

This is fun.

Come on out, Tetsu.

Tetsu.

Now!

Hello.

He's been wanting to see you.

Sit down.

We're not gonna wait for the meat. Right, Tetsuzo?

Come on.

Introduce yourself.

You want me to introduce you?

Do something.

You're their father.

What are you doing?

What's this guy's problem?

Mister, you're scaring Yoko

Mister?

This is Yoko. You don't know?

By the way, mister...

I'll tell you my name. My name is Mitsuko.

Can you remember that?

I'm Mitsuko.

I want to start over.

Noriko.

Yuka.

I'm your dad. Your father.

Tetsuzo, I'm leaving now

Noriko, Yuka. Talk to your father.

Time's up.

Let's go.

It hasn't been an hour yet.

Who are you?

I thought you were my father.

Take this guy and leave.

Now, Yuka, call him "Dad." We don't have much time.

I'm back.

Hey, I'm back.

What?

Stop.

You're hurting me.

Stay out of this.

What is this, sweetheart?

Stop this stupid act.

What?

Stop this stupid act.

I'm the customer here. You do what I say.

Customer? I was confused.

Sometimes, I would forget that I was Kumiko.

Sweetheart?

No, I'm Ikeda. I have no wife or children.

You come with me.

You come with me.

Mister...

Get out of here.

Noriko...

Noriko...

I'm Mitsuko.

I'm Mitsuko.

Noriko...

I'm Mitsuko.

I'm Mitsuko.

I felt like I was back in 2002...

standing on that platform.

I tore off a thread that was...

dangling from my coat.

54 girls lined up on the platform at Shinjuku.

I know, I'll open the window. I need some air.

I walked past the man to the veranda.

I opened the window. The white curtains billowed.

It was snowing.

Saliva started to flow in my mouth.

It might have been drool.

Cold drool

I couldn't breathe, so I opened my mouth.

Drool dripped on the floor.

The table, reflected in the window, seemed so far away.

Our men were beating up the man, kicking and punching him.

I crouched down and touched my own drool.

I was drooling, and I wanted to pee.

Soon, everything turned white.

It felt like there was sand everywhere.

The floor seemed rough.

But I wasn't in the desert. It was some nameless town.

I felt like I was back in 2002...

And I was talking to Tangerine.

Tangerine...

Round, orange tangerine...

She was standing in the snow.

What's up, Norippe?

Boys are trouble...

I remembered that we used to walk to school together.

Recognize my uniform, Norippe?

That's my "school" now I was just on my way.

It was a snowy night, and Tangerine was there.

I still love tangerines.

Tangerines.

Yuka was crying.

Mitsuko. Yoko.

Mom.

I got some meat.

What happened?

You must be hungry.

Let's eat.

Can you go get the portable stove from the kitchen?

So cold today.

I know

Can you close the window?

Also, can you go get the pan?

My hands are numb.

What?

It doesn't work, Mom.

Where are extra gas cartridges?

He'll find them.

- Don't put it on the stove. - Why not?

It's out of gas.

I'll put it here for now

- I'm so hungry. - Me too.

Do we have extra cartridges?

Sweetheart, you wanted us to die together tonight.

Didn't you?

Please.

Kill me.

Who's this man?

He's your father, silly.

Noriko, your father's looking for gas cartridges.

Noriko?

Kill me now

Just kill me.

Then run away with Noriko and Yuka.

No, I'm not Noriko. I'm Mitsuko.

Don't make a face, Noriko.

No.

You're a girl.

No, I'm not Noriko. I'm Mitsuko.

Girls shouldn't do that.

No.

Dear, don't you agree?

Mom, I'm Mitsuko.

We wanna avoid pain.

We just wanna avoid pain, right?

You, me...

We just wanna avoid pain, right?

We all just wanna avoid pain.

It's time to go, but...

Are we going?

Or staying?

What do you wanna do, sir?

I'm so tired.

Right, sir?

Sir?

Do you want more time?

I think...

Can I say what I think?

Is it OK, Mitsuko?

You all look like lions to me.

You all look like lions.

Let's be rabbits again.

Let's be rabbits again, OK?

I want to extend this session.

Let's extend it.

Mm, this is good.

Ow, hot!

Home-cooked meals are the best.

You have to eat vegetables too.

Mom, can I have some meat?

- Get it yourself. - You should get some, Sis.

I gave you vegetables, too.

- Want some meat, Dad? - No, I'm fine.

It's delicious.

Tea?

Refill, please.

- Here. Yuka, you want tea? - Please.

Honey, excuse me. Oh, watch out!

There is no Suicide Club.

Warms you up, huh?

I know

You can eat more, right?

My face is burning.

The world is the Suicide Club, with far more suicides than our circle.

Being close to death gives living value.

Only a small fraction of our members actually commit suicide.

Not all members commit suicide?

It was a stupid question.

Only the members whose roles require them to commit suicide, do.

If you saw a lion eat a zebra, would you call it a "Cannibal Club"?

Lions eat zebras. Zebras eat grass.

The circle of life.

- Are you eating vegetables? - Yeah, I even had seconds.

But there's still a lot.

'Cause you're only eating meat, Sis.

Sorry.

I want...

I want to start over.

What are you talking about?

Listen to me.

Taeko.

I want to redo everything.

Starting now

But...

Don't you know..

We're all sick and tired of your selfish ways.

Dad...

You've always been so selfish.

Noriko.

She had never said anything like that to me in Toyokawa.

If she had, I probably would've hit her.

I'm so sorry.

I was wrong.

So let's...

...make a fresh start.

Let's die once...

...and come back to life.

I'm done.

It was delicious.

- I'm full. - Me too.

We finished it all.

3 hours had passed.

The extension on my time was about over.

I was happy.

I wanted to shout, "Happy!"

My dad... my sister...

...and Kumiko as my mother.

Happy!

I reminisced about... Toyokawa, 10 years ago...

...the stuffed animal attached to my sister's bag...

...memories... in rapid succession...

After dinner, my sister and I took a bath together.

Sis.

We talked about our past... when we were Noriko and Yuka.

Remember when Dad got caught?

Yeah, I remember. Dad was so embarrassed.

I felt empty. I couldn't tell if I was talking to Mitsuko or Noriko.

You must be tired.

You must be too.

Mom, Dad. Good night.

I wanted the power to go out before we went to sleep.

But the whole house remained bright with fluorescent lights.

I'm a little dizzy from the heat.

Early start tomorrow, right?

- Gotta get some sleep. - Me too.

G'night.

Good night.

I wanted to thank my father for setting this up.

That night, I thought I could finally succeed my sister.

She had always said...

"Gotta go somewhere different. Gotta get out of here."

I had laughed at her.

But I finally understood her.

I watched her sleep for the first time in a long time.

She was moaning in her sleep.

Sounded familiar.

I was happy.

I wanted to tell her...

"Never stop acting, even in sleep."

I'm sorry, Sis.

Then I quietly got out of bed.

Tiptoed down the hall.

Something I wanted to see.

Grinding his teeth...

talking in his sleep... as usual.

Thank you, Dad.

While I was putting on my shoes...

I almost sneezed.

I held it in.

I opened the door and went outside.

Fresh air greeted me.

6 AM. It was still dark.

I took a deep breath.

I inhaled deeply.

I started to walk down the street...

toward the center of the city.

I wanted to go somewhere completely different.

I sneezed.

I'm walking for the first time.

I was through with Yoko.

But I wasn't Yuka either.

Just some nameless girl.

I started walking.

Your heart is a small glass.

If you pour too much emotion into it...

...tears will spill out.

But I wasn't Yuka either.

Goodbye, my adolescence.

Goodbye, Haikyo.com.

Goodbye, Mitsuko.

I am Noriko.

Written and Directed by Sion Sono

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