Original subtitles

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[birds tweeting]

[ethereal music playing]

[radio announcer] The famous Riviera is hosting a meeting

which could be crucial for the future of our planet.

This will be the seventh international summit on fossil fuels.

Petrol Global, organizer of the event,

has invited the popular young climate activist Sima Scott.

Scott is unlikely to tolerate any greenwashing at the summit,

so some tension is expected.

Now I'd like to bring in my guest, Boris Briche.

[phone line ringing]

[Ludo] You've reached Ludovic Bruno. Please leave a message.

Come on, just call me back.

I'm worried, and I'm starting to get pissed.

[man on radio] "Greenwashing" is false advertising…

Screw you.

…to promote an eco-responsible brand without having to make any real effort

or implement changes…

["Boys" by Lizzo playing]

[car engine revs]

-♪ Boys ♪ -♪ Make a girl go crazy ♪

-♪ Four, three ♪ -♪ I like big boys ♪

♪ Itty-bitty boys Mississippi boys, inner-city boys ♪

♪ I like a clean face I don't discriminate ♪

♪ Come and get a taste ♪

-Come on. -♪ From the playboys to the gay boys ♪

♪ Go and slay, boys, you my fave boys ♪

[tires squeal]

♪ Baby, I don't need you, I don't need ♪

♪ I just wanna freak you ♪

[Léo] Ugh, I'm starving.

-♪ Boys ♪ -♪ Make a girl go crazy ♪

♪ Four, three, two, ow ♪

♪ Boys ♪

♪ Boys ♪

-♪ Boys ♪ -♪ Make a girl go crazy ♪

[man] Doughnuts and pastries!

Three euros for a doughnut or two for five euros!

-Doughnuts, come-- -[car horn honks]

-Yannis, toss me a doughnut, come on. -No, I'm not running a drive-through.

Oh.

You gotta be kidding.

[gear stick ratchets]

Come and get your doughnuts and pastries, fresh and hot.

[man] Hey, lady, learn how to park!

You're fucking annoying. I'm running behind. Seriously.

Has Ludo called you?

-Not yet. I'm worried. -Come on, you know how he is.

No, no, no, those ones.

Oh right, like your doughnuts are organic.

Come on, man.

[boat motor revving]

-Oh, fuck. -[Yannis] What?

Isn't that Ludo's informant? Hang on.

[Yannis] Wait, Léo, you have to pay.

-Mareschi! -[Yannis] You gotta pay!

Mareschi!

Yo!

Mareschi!

Yeah, I get, but honestly I prefer cash for accounting purposes.

It's easier to…

-[pebbles crunch] -Mareschi!

Huh?

What the…

-[up-tempo music plays] -[gasps]

Idiot!

[panting]

[grunts]

[up-tempo music continues]

Mareschi!

[panting]

Stop running! Stop!

[gasps]

[man] Hey!

[Léo] Hey, stop running!

[grunts]

[Bat] I'm innocent! Move!

Out of the way!

[panting]

[up-tempo music continues]

[breathing heavily]

[groans]

Damn it.

Where'd he go?

[breathing heavily]

[sighs]

Ah! Oh! Oh!

[exhales]

-Not so fast. Whoa, hold on. -Okay.

I'm sorry, okay.

Come on, why'd you run? I just thought we would chat.

I didn't recognize you in that stupid hat.

You're Léo Leiman.

You know there's a guy trying to kill you, right?

That German dude, you know where he hangs out.

-He looks like a ripped Guy Fieri, right? -Yeah, yeah. Bauer. He wants me dead.

Hey, be careful. I mean, death is pretty definite, right?

Listen, I'm, uh, looking for First Lieutenant Ludovic Bruno.

-Help me out. -Ludo? Well, of course.

-I mean, Ludo's a good guy. Come on. -Well, he disappeared ten days ago.

Oh, man.

Maybe he went on a random vacation.

-Civil servants do that a lot, right? -No.

Well, have you tried geolocation?

Well, no. Walk me through it.

Wow.

Look, it's called the Internet. But I don't do that anymore.

Ever since I got out of prison, I don't mess with that.

Don't cops have someone for that?

-["Les Sunlights des tropiques" ringtone] -Keep that thing on vibrate.

-That's gonna be stuck in my head all day. -[silences ringer]

-♪ You have good taste in music ♪ -It's not my kind of music.

That idiot Ludo changed my ringtone, and now I can't seem to make--

Whatever.

You're gonna stay very, very, very reachable, Mareschi, is that clear?

Sure. No problem. Yeah. Want my digits?

I don't usually do that.

I'll air-drop you.

-There you go. -[phone beeps]

Bat the Bat. That's me. How do you do?

You have my address, my number.

While we're at it, knowing how to drive a little dinghy

doesn't make you a waterskiing instructor, okay?

Go easy with the beach scams, huh?

[cell phone rings]

Hmm? Uh, wait, hey, hey! Give me a chance, Leiman.

My dinghy's not as little as you think.

-I doubt it. -[Bat] My dinghy's above average.

-[Léo] Leiman. -[woman on phone] What are you doing?

[Léo] I'm almost there. I'm really close.

-Parking is a bitch. -You think I'm an idiot?

-I can hear the seagulls. -What?

Stop working on your tan, get in your car, and get to the office.

I'm not working on my tan. I'm looking for Ludo--

Okay! What the hell are you doing?

That stupid greenwashing summit starts tomorrow.

We've got about a hundred international oil and gas CEOs arriving soon.

-And they've invited climate activists. -[whispers] Don't.

They will all show up in their little sailboats

with their patchouli and their vegan leather.

We have to keep them safe too.

And we can't forget their boss, that pissy teenage girl who loves to yell.

She means Sima Scott, the girl who knows so much about the planet.

Shh, quiet, I'm listening.

We know eco-friendly rhetoric is whiny and super annoying,

but no one hates it more than oil people.

Matter of fact, speaking of that little tree-hugging brat,

she's been receiving death threats lately, but has no intention of keeping quiet.

In other words, we need a solid team for the climate summit,

so I'm putting our best officers on this.

-Man, this is tough. -I'm not ready for this.

I need all of you to be a little less mediocre than usual, okay?

[chuckles nervously]

You think you can pull this off?

-[man] We got this. -[woman 1] No problem.

-[woman 2] I do love a challenge. -Perfect.

Now get a load of this.

These pigheaded capitalist morons

chose a place which is almost impossible to keep safe for this long.

[scattered chuckling]

[paper rustles]

And we have only three days to fully secure the entire area.

[door creaks open]

This zone here.

We block off the stairs…

So, hear anything on Ludo?

-No. I mean, not since this morning. -No.

Have you tried checking on his location, or…

Well, we have the equipment, but it's crazy complicated.

-So, I mean, we-- -We had problems figuring--

-[Laura] We don't know how to use it. -Whatever.

[dramatic music playing]

Frédéric Valence.

I serve as the director of communications for Sima, and for the future…

-[reporter] Sima Scott. -…of renewable energy.

-How are you? -A quick word about your visit.

After four months of sailing, we're back on shore.

We went to countries where the results of climate change

are a question of life and death.

Vulnerable populations are bearing this burden.

They shouldn't be responsible.

We are here to remind these rich guys that while they drink champagne,

people are suffering and dying because of their actions.

If we want to preserve life on planet Earth,

we simply can't allow them to burn fossil fuels for energy anymore.

-We came to remind them. -Thank you, Sima.

-We'll get them, Petrol Global. -Uh-huh.

-Uh… -Frédéric Valence.

-[rubber squeaking] -[Hernandez sighing]

[inhaling]

[Hernandez moans]

[exhales deeply]

Well, on my end, I questioned Mareschi for a while this morning.

He's the… the hacker, the CI I got through Ludo.

Oh, that blond guy, right?

The one we locked up for credit card fraud?

[Léo] That's him. He was wearing a headband.

Oh, man.

Look, well, that's not important.

Mareschi told me he hasn't heard from Ludo either.

He's been missing for ten days at this point.

We're going to find him. I put Laura and Gustavo on it.

-They're up for it. -Up for…

They couldn't find Gustavo's dick with two hands and a map.

[Hernandez] Listen, I know you're worried about your friend Ludo.

But trust me, my intuitions are never wrong.

Ludo is just fine.

[knock on door]

Come in!

Excuse me, Captain,

our colleagues from the airport want you to get over there right now.

-Like right now, right away. -[exhales] Why?

I think to go get the first lieutenant, Ludovic Bruno.

[gasps] Wait, he's where?

Uh, so…

At the airport.

[laughs] You see?

[Laura] That's it! I gave the message. I did it! I did it!

-I did it! I said it right! -Okay, let's go.

[upbeat music playing]

[car horn honking]

[dramatic music playing]

[sighs]

[cries softly]

[airplane flying overhead]

Thank you.

Unfortunately, you were right for once.

What did that idiot go to Hamburg for?

We're gonna have a ceremony, right?

Well, uh,

I was just on the phone with Internal Affairs,

and actually, we can't tell anyone.

Listen, nobody can know that Ludo is…

[whimpers]

…in this box here until after their investigation is over.

-What do you mean investigation? -They're taking this very seriously.

Apparently, the guys who are… [cuckoos] …Ludo are very, very dangerous.

So they appointed a talented German inspector to look into his death.

Hang on, so you're gonna let a Kraut

who doesn't know anything about this place or Ludo investigate his murder?

We're under strict orders not to butt in.

So we're just gonna let the German guy do his work, and we'll do ours.

Okay? Huh?

What if I put you in charge of security operations for the summit?

What? No! No!

-I'm not gonna stand for this. -We don't have a choice.

If we want to find out what happened to Ludo,

and lock up the son of a bitch who did this,

we have to get out of the way and just let that German Sherlock Holmes do his thing.

Not to bore you with history,

but when German people put their minds to something,

they tend to be a lot more meticulous than the rest of us.

So come on, let yourself feel blue,

then you start thinking about your eulogy for the beautiful service,

which we'll hold as soon as Internal Affairs approves it.

In the meantime, I think you should forget about Ludo

and try to stay focused on the summit.

Okay.

-Okay? You can do that? -Okay.

Ah!

-You're okay. -I'm not.

[tires screeching]

[car engine revving]

[dramatic music playing]

[seagulls squawking]

[boat horn blows distantly]

[crying softly and sniffling]

[phone button beeps]

[Ludo on voicemail] Hey, fatty, what up? It's Ludo.

Listen, just call me back when you're done jacking off.

[groans]

Jesus.

Fuck.

[phone button beeps]

[sniffles]

[car horn blares]

[music playing faintly on TV]

[indistinct chatter on TV]

[Ludo laughing]

-[Ludo] Cheers! Come on. -[Léo] Here we go.

-[Ludo] Hey! Hey! -[Léo] Whoo!

-[loud splash] -[Ludo] Come on!

[Léo] Oh yeah, the water's nice.

[inhales sharply and sighs]

[Ludo] ♪ Saying it out loud Come and dance ♪

[breathing shakily]

[seagulls squawking]

[dramatic music playing]

-[Léo] Oh! -Police! What are you doing here?

[muffled shouting]

What'd you say?

I'm police, too!

-I didn't know. -Ugh!

I'm sorry.

Who are you? You're not from here, are you?

Lieutenant Zimmer. I'm in investigating the death of Lieutenant Ludovic Bruno.

That's not possible because IA was gonna send a Kraut to look into his murder.

Yeah, well, that's me.

-Come on. -It's true.

[Léo] A German?

A mega-high-level meticulous young sleuth.

-Damn right, that's me. -Wait. No.

I'm talking about A German, like…

I mean, I-- No, well…

-You don't have an accent. -Yeah, I'm fully bilingual.

-Okay, uh… -Who are you, by the way?

Léo Leiman.

I'm a friend of Ludo's. I was like a sister to that guy.

And I'm the best cop in the Riviera.

-Yeah. -Mm.

I'm sure you are.

Well, honey, you might as well get going.

You're a long way from Germany, and I got this under control, trust me.

-Okay? -Yeah, I can see that.

But the murder took place in Germany, and I happen to have a search warrant.

[blows]

Fine, then. I'll do the search.

You won't be able to find anything. It has to be me.

Oh, of course. His sister.

You and your brother.

[mysterious music playing]

[gasps] Look at that. He got himself a hooker.

You should probably put that down, okay? Evidence.

[sniffs]

-[Mélanie] Could be his girlfriend's. -Uh, no.

Ludo would've told me if he had a girlfriend.

And even if he did, why would she be dressing like a slut?

There's no way a hooker wore these.

These are sexy panties from a fine lingerie establishment.

Uh, more like a brothel.

Uh, aren't you supposed to look for evidence?

Well, that's evidence, right? Evidence he got himself a whore.

Damn it, damn it. Come on.

[suspenseful music swells]

-There you go. I was looking for that. -Where are you going?

-What? I'm investigating, okay? -I'm investigating.

Let go.

[both grunt]

[growls]

Yeah, Léo Leiman.

Bauer? No.

No. Oh my God.

Incredible. That's such an amazing tip.

See you soon, then. Peace out, bye.

That was Bauer, my favorite informant.

He gave me a tip that's better than these stupid pictures.

-Your phone didn't make a sound. -It did.

No, uh, actually, I always keep it on silent because I'm so peaceful.

But whatever, you don't have to believe me.

Okay, I'll go with you, but it doesn't mean I believe you.

[majestic music playing]

[tires screech]

[stifled breaths]

[exhales]

Mélanie, if you have a problem with my car, just take an Uber, okay?

Besides, I didn't ask you to come with.

[sips]

Hey, were you there when they found Ludo?

No.

But, uh,

I know he didn't look good, though.

High-powered rifle.

Jesus, goddamn it, of course it was a sniper.

Shithead.

Mark my words, I won't rest until I find the son of bitch.

Me neither.

But we can't call perps that anymore.

[turns ignition off, gear stick ratchets]

So, this is your informant's place?

The one who calls at the perfect moment with no ringtone?

Yeah. His name is Franz Bauer.

He looks a bit like the chef Guy Fieri, and he's a Kraut, like you.

Mm, I was thinking,

it'd be great if you could go talk to him in his mother tongue, right?

Oh no, no, not happening.

I-I think it would just…

I mean, you wouldn't understand us anyway, so that's that.

Well, I wouldn't go. You'd be better off on your own.

-Okay, all right, I get it. -Yeah, that's what I meant.

You wouldn't be there and I'd talk German.

-That was my plan. Yeah, exactly. -Auf Wiedersehen, all that. Okay.

I hope it works out, okay?

[door creaks]

[starts car]

[engine revs]

[humming "Ride of the Valkyries"]

[car driving away]

[tires squeal distantly]

[faint, indiscernible singing]

♪ …cuddles ♪

♪ Cuddles full of vitamins ♪

♪ Cuddly cuddles ♪

♪ Soft cuddles… ♪

Uh…

Herr Bauer?

Yes, um…

-[speaks German] -No, I don't speak German.

Oh! [relieved laugh]

Um, I…

Hey, so, I'm a friend of Léo Leiman--

Léo Leiman?

[spits]

-Léo Leiman? -Yeah, she's my friend.

[both grunt]

Goddamn it! Ow, ow.

-Oh no, no, you shouldn't have done that. -I'll do whatever I want.

[Mamich] Caroline, charming, as always.

Such a pleasure. I hope you enjoyed your meal today.

Well, come back soon, Caroline.

Have a nice day.

Aw, my little darling.

Haven't come by to see your old uncle in a while, huh?

There, there, it'll be okay.

Hey, wait a minute. How do you know already?

Well, I…

I hear everything, you know?

Huh?

[Léo] Mm.

I swear I'm gonna find the son of a bitch who did it, Mamich.

Actually, I found these photos at Ludo's place.

[camera chimes]

[Bauer] Hey, what the hell's that? You recording?

Yeah. You don't mind, right?

It's just because I'm about to fuck you up.

All right.

We're rolling.

Action.

["Fanfarra Cabua-Le-Le" by Sergio Mendes playing]

[both grunt]

Oh, come here. Get in the shot.

Further, further, further. There you go.

[Bauer grunting]

[singing in Portuguese]

[Bauer yelling]

-[grunts] -[loud crunch]

[Mélanie] Testicles really are the Achilles' heel of the male sex.

A million of years of male domination,

but it's still so easy to beat you in a fight.

Oh!

[Mélanie whimpers]

[Bauer panting]

[grunts]

[yells]

[exhales and groans]

Oh!

[Bauer moaning]

[Mélanie yelps]

[breathing heavily]

[groans]

[grunts]

["Fanfarra Cabua-Le-Le" continues]

[Bauer yelling]

[grunts]

[Bauer coughing]

[Mélanie] Okay, so I just filmed big Bauer getting his ass beaten by a woman.

[sighs] Should I share the video, or you gonna talk?

-[groans] -I can't hear you.

[Léo] Okay, so, where are these villas?

I have no idea.

Maybe ask someone who understands Google Map

and that computerized geolocation stuff.

Are you sure you don't know what Ludo could have been up to in Hamburg?

Uh…

-He didn't talk to me… -[Léo] Mamich.

[Mamich] What?

You're all I've got.

I can tell you're hiding something from me.

Okay.

Look, he was hanging out with some pretty big fish.

-Not some big fish. -[Mamich] I can't tell you, Léo.

-I made a promise to Ludo. -[sighs]

-Just let the big fish swim by themselves. -Yeah, okay.

Listen, I'm done with your fish metaphors. And stop trying to protect me, okay?

Don't worry, I'll figure it out on my own, as usual.

[Mamich] Léo, I'm protecting you for a reason.

Be careful, all right?

[seagull squawking]

[man] That's it!

Come on, my little champ.

Use your back paws, little guy. That's it!

-Doing great. -Yeah, yeah!

He can already tread water without rubber rings.

-That's so great. -There you go!

-[man laughs] -[Laura] Mr. Cassati, you can walk?

-Off you go! -Ooh! Oh!

[Gustavo] Yeah, he just pretends to be disabled on TV, don't you get it?

[Cassati] Whoo!

-[sighs] -Oh…

He's ugly, but he can swim. His little puppy feet kicking. [chuckles]

So, uh, we usually don't indulge before six p.m. or so, but, uh…

-But we're thirsty. -…we just happen to be thirsty.

Otherwise…

Talk about this German detective who's coming over.

Uh, no, I mean…

You have absolutely nothing to worry about, Mr. Cassati.

Rest assured that we can handle just about anything.

We're crooked cops, but we're good at what we do.

No, no, no, no, just no. You can't handle anything, you stronzo.

All right?

Your friend, that guy Ludo, the one who looks like he's in a boy band,

he almost fucked everything up, got me?

Good thing our friends reached out to some of their contacts,

if you know what I mean.

Who are you talking about?

He means-- He's talking about-- They're not real, okay?

-They're fake friends. -Mm.

All right, all right.

-Jeez, come on. -I'm sorry.

Listen, will you?

All right, time to listen up, Hansel and Gretel, okay?

-Focus. -Yeah, we're focused.

-At least I am, you know… -Listening?

There's a guy, and he has no sense of humor.

-Him? -A bad guy.

And he has two days to get something ready.

-Something. -One guy, one thing. Got it.

Right, and then I have to ensure I deliver that thing right away

to another buyer who is even more serious than…

-The other guy! -[Cassati] Yes!

-Okay. -Oh, yeah. So he's a really bad guy.

You two will be the ones in the middle.

-Here? -[Cassati] Exactly right.

-Center forward. -[Cassati] Very good. Bravo.

So, your mission is to make sure that none of your cop friends interfere

with this or any of my affairs, we cool?

And then, if everything works out over the next 48 hours, well…

[laughs] …we get our hands on a big sack of cash.

♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da-da ♪

-Some cash money! -[Cassati] Yeah!

-My money, my money. -Oh, yeah! That's it! Yeah!

- ♪ I want money, money ♪ -I said, yeah!

-If not… -[Laura] Hmm?

[helicopter propellers beating distantly]

-…it gets complicated. -Right.

And then…

-Whoa. -Wow.

-Oh yeah, 'cause we're in the middle… -Yeah. We get crushed.

[Gustavo] I feel like that could hurt.

Got it? Capito? Vabbe cosi.

All right.

Uh, c-c-can we go back to right before the two hands clap together?

Sure, yeah, yeah. He'll explain it to you.

Come on, dive for me. Let's go, take a dive.

I have no idea what's happening, Gustavo.

[chickens clucking]

[Léo] Hello.

Hi, sweetie pie.

Do you know Bat Mareschi?

Mm-hmm.

Jean-Baptiste!

Your lover's come by. She's waiting!

Oh no, no. We're not lovers.

He's got a hearing problem. Too much jacking off.

Go ahead. Go on, please.

Okay.

[Bat singing in French]

Whoa! Oh, wow.

Hi.

[clears throat]

I won't bother you for long.

-Clearly you need to work on your dancing. -Right.

So I, um, wanted to ask you for your help with this thing on the down-low.

Like… sort of top secret.

[Bat] Oh. Okay, sure.

Uh, all right.

[sighs] So you…

I need addresses for some houses. You can find them for me?

[laughs]

-I… -[Bat] For real?

-[Léo] Mm. -Just addresses? That's it?

Yes.

You guys have cushy jobs, huh?

[chuckles] Right.

So obviously, I'll need a computer to get this done.

-To be clear, I don't do this anymore. -You didn't say anything.

-I didn't hear you. -[Bat] No, I mean…

Is that cannabis, or…

-Wh-what this? Where? -Yeah.

Oh. I don't know. Most of this stuff's my grandma's.

-Oh, sure. -[Bat] She has a green thumb.

-She tells me to water them, I water them. -Okay.

-Okay. -Well, thank you. Thanks.

Uh… Uh…

Uh…

[chuckles] Okay, thanks again. See you. Bye.

See you.

Wow.

I just fingered this guy's…

-See you. -[woman] Goodbye.

…this guy's nose. God, come on, what an idiot.

What was I thinking?

-[gear shift ratchets] -[ignition turned off]

[both grunt]

That's from your good buddy Bauer.

Hey, this isn't a fucking boxing ring! Take it to the mud pit, you two!

[gasps softly]

-Looks like it hurts. -Hey! Get up to my office now, you idiots!

[Léo] All right, let's go. Come on. You happy now, huh?

[Mélanie] Think you're funny? He could've killed me.

Please, forgive me. I just assumed that you were a…

I guess I thought they'd send a…

[laughs nervously] So of course you're the…

the hotshot German.

The investigator that Internal Affairs sent down?

Yes, that's me.

But, well, from the description, I was expecting a… a gentleman.

-Maybe blond. Beefcake. -Right.

His hair buzzed, wearing some nice, tight khakis.

-[laughs] -The typical German.

-I expected that too. -That's a stereotype, you know.

[scoffs]

So PC these days.

Whatever. I got, uh, a tip.

Great, but we're not supposed to know about this.

-Tell us. -What tip?

Bauer talked about a guy called Cassati, a real estate mogul.

I'm guessing Lu-- Uh, First Lieutenant Ludovic was looking into him.

Cassati? Cassati, the senator's friend?

He has a TV show. That's who we're talking about, right?

But-- But the man's a…

I mean, he's, uh… he's in a…

[chair squeaking]

In what? In…?

-Yeah, I'm not sure. -[Mélanie] Me neither.

I think the guy's in a wheelchair, huh?

-Ah. [chuckles] -Yes. And?

Well, uh… Isn't it wrong to investigate a disabled person?

Yeah, well, don't worry about it.

Word around town is Cassati isn't really disabled.

Wait. Hey, guys, this conversation we're having is really inappropriate.

Come on. No. Not at all.

I just mean that those kinds of people are usually nice for the most part.

They're not usually the bad guys.

In fact, I have a pal whose legs are--

-Stop. -Either way.

It sounds like we need to stop this gangster guido.

Racism. Super.

What I can tell you for sure is you're not gonna be involved

because it's out of our hands, it's her investigation.

Come on. You gotta be kidding me.

The only reason she got that tip is because of me.

What? Don't be ridiculous.

Léo, listen to me, you have one mission,

and-and that's to secure this fucking summit for the Global Petrol people,

or whatever they're called.

I don't want you investigating Cassati, got it?

Or else you're…

Oh, come on. Ludo was like a brother to me.

All the more reason to step aside and let our-our-our captain, uh…

-[Léo] I'm done. -[Hernandez] No, no!

You are not leaving my office before you apologize

to our amazing and accomplished new captain, right?

Isn't that right, Captain?

[chuckles] We're like sisters.

What? Oh, come on.

Out!

-[door opens] -I'm sorry.

She's a complete moron. And she's bizarre.

-Bizarre. Super weird. -Right, well, I'm off.

See you.

-[door opens and closes] -Yup.

[helicopter flying overhead]

You gotta be kidding… Ah!

Ah!

Guess who?

[sighs]

-So you know how to open car doors too? -Yeah.

But yours was unlocked, so it wasn't too hard.

I did my best to keep things quiet, and found those addresses.

I had some time, so I thought you'd like to know

that every house you asked me to find was recently sold on the black market.

Wait, no!

-I don't think you can say "black." -Yeah.

Referring to real estate. Does that matter?

Oh, okay, but I-I-I need to know who's doing the buying.

I mean, it's Cassati.

In fact, he's hosting a little garden party with guests from that summit,

financed by Petrol Global,

this afternoon at his villa, at this address.

-Voilà. Not bad. Gotta hoof it. -Yeah, good job, little horsey. [chuckles]

[chuckles]

-[Léo chuckles] -[Bat] Little horsey. Okay. Right.

See you.

Wait, hang on a sec. Hang on.

Hang on. Wait, wait, wait.

I… I appreciate your help, okay?

Yeah, no worries. Uh, it was a pleasure.

See you around.

[chuckles]

"A pleasure"? You fucking idiot!

"Little horsey"?

"See you around"? Am I still in high school?

Give me a break.

[suspenseful music playing]

[women laughing]

It's formal. Shit.

[exhales and sniffs]

All right. All dressed up.

[bouncer] Hello, signora, good evening.

This way, please. Right this way.

Prego, prego. Enjoy your night.

-No. -[Léo] Hello-- Oh.

-You're not coming in. -[Léo] Come on.

I'm actually working security for the summit.

[bouncer] Yeah, I don't think so. I'm afraid Mr. Cassati hates cops.

Buonasera.

[Léo] Yeah, like you really sound Italian.

[bouncer speaking Italian]

[exhales]

-Thank you. -[bouncer] Buonasera, signorina.

[Mélanie] Oh!

-You came to pick me up? That's nice. -[Léo] Wait a minute, how did you get in?

[Mélanie] Hmm.

I'm a cop.

Right.

-How about you? They turn you away? -Yeah, bastards.

Oh, hey, did you get him to talk, pizza man?

I tried, but he has a bunch of huge bodyguards for a "real estate mogul."

-[Léo] So? -But I did manage to get a bag of dust.

[Léo] Great. Thanks for vacuuming the place for him, Martha Stewart.

[Mélanie] Excuse me for investigating. Why don't you just drop me off at the lab?

Come on, I'm out of here.

-No, I can't take you-- -[Mélanie] Come on, we gotta get going.

Oh, and I got photos.

Look. Guess he's actually disabled after all.

-Come on, really? -Seriously.

Look, I don't want to be an asshole, but Ludo meant too much to me, okay?

You're nice, but I can't afford to have someone messing with my business.

-Your business? -Yeah.

I'm sorry, but right now I'm the only one who's made progress.

Because you threw together a few photos and you put some dust in a bag?

Our job is to be careful and meticulous in every investigation.

Our job is to jail the criminals.

Using perspicacity and prudence.

Come on! No! Using intuition and our guts. I've always done that.

This is my investigation. We're gonna be using my method.

[percussive music playing]

Léo Leiman. What?

You sure we're talking about the same person?

Sort of, yeah. I mean, I would say average.

Not pretty, not ugly. The hair is… you know, yeah.

No!

[gasps]

-Oh my God. Wow. -[Mélanie] Hmm?

We're in trouble here.

We're in really, really, really big trouble.

I mean, you are.

Yeah, sure.

[starts car]

[uplifting music playing]

[tires squeal]

[Mélanie] You really gotta stop with those fake phone calls.

It's embarrassing. Now take me to the lab.

[Léo] I'd be happy to.

I'm just gonna stop by Hernandez's office first,

so you can update her on the investigation.

[Mélanie] You think I'm scared?

You know where I found her? At Cassati's.

-What? -Yep.

Cassati noticed that the German was sniffing around his place.

He's really pissed.

I know he's linked to whoever killed Ludo.

[scoffs] That's a bunch of bullshit.

Wait, let her finish.

It's a good thing I was there.

All the poor, defenseless, Petrol Global guests

needed someone to keep them safe and secure at their party.

Good job, Léo. I like it when you do what I say.

Much appreciated.

[Mélanie] No way, that's bullshit.

She was at the party for the same reason I was.

Cassati is the best lead--

Shh! Bup-bup-bup-bup!

Shh.

I'd prefer not to know.

-Why? -[Hernandez] First, everyone knows him.

Second, half the Riviera's in his pocket, the other half owes him money, so…

-He's a major investor in the summit. -[gasps]

I wanted to respect your German methods,

but you're starting to encroach on my own cases.

-[Léo] True. -[Hernandez] If anything goes wrong,

it'll fall on my shoulders.

If we weren't all tied up with this ridiculous summit, we could help you.

We just don't have the personnel for it, right?

We're snowed under with the summit,

and frankly I've been feeling fucking fried.

I'll let you discuss it with your superiors.

It'd be best for you to forget this and go back to your country.

-[groans] -[Mélanie] What?

To-to Germany.

Tell them to send someone a little more discreet.

-I mean, like a normal German. -Of course, I know what you mean, boss.

I completely agree with you.

-Did I say something bad? -[Léo] Absolutely not.

Well, I'd better be off.

I screwed up, huh?

-I'm gonna head out. -I said something I shouldn't have.

-[door opens and closes] -[Léo] See you, boss.

[humming softly]

[whistling]

It's really a shame.

We could've caught the son of a bitch that…

the sniper who killed Ludo.

Uh, Lieutenant Bruno.

Right, well, my top priority is to make sure that--

I just want to protect you.

Because all Cassati has to do is give the order, and…

[swoosh]

…auf Wiedersehen, Mélanie.

[sighs]

Hendoku iyaku.

Huh? Sorry?

Turn the poison into a remedy.

It's a phrase.

Nichiren Daishonin, a Buddhist monk from the thirteenth century.

I think it means that life pummels us with difficult moments,

but sometimes they can save you later on.

Hmm.

[elevator button beeps]

Whatever you say.

[buttons beeping]

[elevator dings, doors slide open]

[pop music playing faintly]

CASSATI UP TO WHAT?

[sighs]

Looks like the investigation's going well.

Is that a police sketch?

What the hell? How did you find me here, Bat?

As long as I have your number, I'll always know where you are.

The principle of…

[blows raspberry]

…geolocation.

-Can I sit down? -Mm.

Cool. Nice little watering hole.

Better make a reservation. It looks…

-Dinner rush, huh? -[chuckles]

So, what do you want?

[Bat] I'm getting fed up with water sports.

I've always dreamed of being a cop, actually.

And because I've already been helping you out,

well, maybe you'd let me ride along and observe you.

Okay, but why would I be willing to do that

when you're already working for me for free, you know?

-Right. -Yeah, sorry.

If you put it like that, it doesn't make sense, business-wise.

But, uh…

I liked Ludo, to be honest.

I looked into it, and from what I heard,

it sounds like he wasn't really on vacation in Germany.

Hey, uh…

I'm sorry.

I can help you find the son of a bitch who did it.

And I heard, uh, there's a certain someone

who's really, I mean, really good with a weapon

even from really, really far away, is trying to hunt you down.

What does that mean, exactly?

[Bat] I heard a sniper wants to take you out.

-I think he's the same one who killed… -Who killed Ludo?

Yeah. But I don't want you to end up muerta.

-No. -Deceased-a.

Mm.

-Deceased-a on la floor-a. -[Léo] Okay.

Like some piece of mierda on la plancha.

I'm just thinking of you at the morgue, and with that weird toe tag…

-No. -[Bat] I couldn't handle that.

I'd have to talk to a medical examiner. Those guys are so strange.

[Léo] Yeah.

They remind me of air traffic controllers. What's their deal?

-Much obliged, Bat. Okay? -[Bat] Yeah, yeah.

I'll call you if I need you. I'll call you soon.

-I'm heading home. -You know where I'll be.

Just try to resist the urge to track me, okay?

Oh, my keys.

-I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to… -Oh, I…

-I didn't-- -[Bat] No, I wasn't…

-[lips smack] -Oh!

[sips]

[menacing music playing]

[spits]

[dog barking distantly]

[gasps]

[sizzling]

Oh my God, Mamich, what's wrong with you?

I could've killed you!

And all for a few spicy sausages. Wouldn't that be wild?

Well, I brought you--

You can't have a barbecue at someone else's house.

Especially not at mine.

I'm fed up, Mamich.

It's like I'm missing this big part of me, and I'm not even allowed to grieve.

Just think about it.

Ludo's in the morgue, and no one can come say goodbye.

[Mamich] Yeah, listen, I know, it's…

It's terrible. But you're not alone.

And if you don't mind, I'd like to introduce you to somebody--

Oh no, no, stop trying to set me up, all right?

Sorry, but the thing is, you always choose the worst men.

Well, good, because I found a woman you might like to…

I'm starting to doubt my worth as a cop. I don't know. It's crazy.

That weird German chick, Mélanie.

It's weird, but maybe I was making more progress with her.

But still, she was so goddamn annoying.

"Eh, my little gloves…" [blows]

Well…

[plates clatter]

Whoa, Mamich, explain yourself right now.

-Wait, listen, so… -How do you two know each other?

-[Mamich] Wait, wait. -The hooker? It's me.

-[Léo] What? -[Mamich] Exactly.

-She's not a hooker, by the way. Right? -Oh my God.

-Well… -[Léo] So you're Ludo's girlfriend?

Well, I guess your relationship couldn't have been very serious,

or he would have told me.

-He was planning to move in with me. -In Germany?

[scoffs]

That's just ridiculous. Ludo and I hated Germany.

Right, Mamich? We'd never been, right?

-That's right. -Listen, about that. I was gonna tell you.

I'm sorry, but I really have no clue why he was attracted to you.

-Really? -It's… Mm.

Well, I never understood why he was apprehensive about us meeting.

But now I see it was because you're horrible.

-I'm horrible? -[Mélanie] Horrible!

-You're horrible. -I knew you were.

-I knew it the moment I met you. -What an awful thing to say.

-"And I'm the best cop in the Riviera." -[Mamich] No, no, come on.

-You're rude. Pathetic behavior. -She said that like she's four.

[Mamich] You guys, enough!

And that's what you call sisterhood, huh?

-Really! -[cell phone chimes]

-Are you hungry? -This is so stupid.

-Oh my God, it's the lab. -All this for some sausages.

The results came in for that bag from Cassati's.

-[Léo] The vacuum dust? -[Mélanie] Hang on.

It's riddled with explosive chemicals.

I mean, yeah, right. So it's exactly what I was saying.

I know what to do.

I'm gonna call my trainee and tell him to start stalking Cassati.

Stalking? Your trainee? What are you talking about?

Yeah, I have a trainee. So what?

[lips sputter]

-Coming? -[Mamich] Of course.

There you go. That's more like it. This is nice.

Ludo would've liked to see the two of you working in harmony.

[Zako] So you push that thing and it explodes?

[Cesar] No, the thing is, I'm a genius, and I thought of a three-step system.

One, the doors are locked and the target's completely stuck.

They're still inside-- Inside the car.

Two, suddenly, a countdown starts,

which gives the car plenty of time to take off and get away from our buddies,

when all of a sudden, number three.

-Which is? -Boom!

The best part is, they're gonna blame it all on electric cars.

And that that means good things for our business, you know?

I mean, for your business.

Mm. You talk so much.

I got the other thing. There's just one other thing.

If it's too old school, tell me.

A big timer on the middle of the dashboard.

Ticktock, ticktock, ticktock.

It might add a bit of stress,

especially when you consider how quiet electric cars are.

-[cell phone vibrates] -Sort of confusing.

-Really? -Yeah, it's confusing. It's too confusing.

-Zako. -[Cassati on phone] Cassati.

-Yeah. -So is it ready?

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, just a few details to…

-[whispering] We need more time. -We're fine.

So was the French cop a detail too?

[Zako] No, but he was sticking his nose into things.

He went to Hamburg. But you can't go to Hamburg.

I work in Hamburg, so I'm not gonna put up with…

[Cassati] Yeah, right, great. You and your girlfriend, the sniper,

got me in deep shit.

Because the Germans sent a fancy sleuth of some kind to look into his murder.

Our employer wants to remain incognito, so he doesn't like that at all.

Anyway, the product should be ready in two days. Capito?

No, you listen to me, you piece-of-shit greaseball.

You're just a country loudmouth with a few friends in show business.

-I never liked you. -[laughs]

I'm the dangerous one, all right? So watch it.

-[Cassati laughing] -You might want to relax.

Or I'll take you out.

-Right. -[Zako] You and your boy toy.

And that dumb hamster-looking dog of yours, you got me?

[laughing] Oh God!

You're starting to piss me off. I'm done wasting my time with you.

[Cassati] You idiot!

[Benny whispering] Hey.

-Who are we killing? -Uh, I don't know.

You know, it's…

He doesn't get it.

Okay, now that we're BFFs, I have to tell you…

[shushing]

Not the time, okay?

[calypso music playing]

[man singing indistinctly]

♪ Don't you know that it's automatic? ♪

♪ And you look so supersonic ♪

♪ Don't you know that it's automatic? ♪

[knocks lightly]

-Hello. -[Mélanie] Hello.

Oh. There's two of you.

-Okay, uh, come in. -Told you I have a trainee.

[Bat] Come on in.

Yeah. He hasn't been to the police academy.

I'm sorry about the-- About the mess, uh…

[computer beeps]

Oh sure.

You don't touch computers anymore.

Oh no, I swear I only touch you.

Uh, I-- I mean, I would only touch computers for you.

FBI, Mossad, MI6? You access their databases here?

Uh, no, because I'm not James Bond.

Uh, I just thought it'd be funny to rename the files.

-[chuckles nervously] -[laughs]

[Bat] But I did manage to hack some juicy data.

You want to take a look at some Cassati's accounts?

-Totally. -All right.

Uh, so there's a bunch of shady transactions from offshore accounts.

[computer chimes]

You think he had something to do with Ludo's death?

-First, we need a way to make him talk. -Off the record.

Hernandez can't know we're snooping.

Hey, so tell me, is Hernandez nice? Like, what's she like as a boss?

Look, we need to find a way into his house tomorrow morning.

You better be careful because that's not legal.

We're using Leiman's method.

I've read the police handbook. You need a warrant from a prosecutor.

[Mélanie] We put on disguises to get in.

No one's listening, but I'm not doing this because if Hernandez hears about it,

say goodbye to my contract.

-[hitting keys] -So I gotta pass.

[computer chimes]

[tires screech]

[Bat] Hey, ladies, uh, Cassati kinda freaks me out a little.

-[Mélanie] Don't say that. He's disabled. -[Léo] But he's faking.

-[Mélanie] He's also an environmentalist. -[Léo] He's faking that too.

[Bat] It sounds like he's a real psychopath.

[Léo] Check out that tight ass. Don't tell me he isn't cute.

[Léo chuckles]

What?

Just be careful because you--

No, I mean, I know he's not a big alpha male or whatever.

There's just something about his…

-[gate buzzer sounding] -Yeah, I get it.

-But so you know… -Ludo would always tell me

that I'm too guarded, or too imposing.

Mm-hmm. But now it's just that…

I can't explain it. He just makes me feel some type of way.

You know that feeling when your… your heart's pounding?

Mm. Of course.

But in your vag.

[snickers]

It's on record. The mic, he's wearing an earpiece.

-[Bat] I'm about to ring the bell. -[both laugh]

-Focus, here we go. -[Bat] Get ready.

-[exhales] -Okay, the fox is in the henhouse.

I repeat, the fox is in the henhouse.

-[Bat] What? -Are you serious?

[Bat] What? I missed that.

-[Cassati on intercom] Yeah? -[Bat] Hello.

I'm a delivery man, and I…

I'm delivering some flowers from Hillary Clinton.

[Cassati] I know a cop when I hear one. I don't like flowers.

-[both] Damn it. -Come back when you have a search warrant.

[Bat, stammering] Thank you. Bye. Thanks.

[Mélanie sighs]

[Bat] Goddamn it. Motherfucker! The flowers were a bad idea.

I should've been a guy come to fix the router.

-This sucks! I'm sorry. -Wait a minute…

Life as a delivery man is tough. Hang on, gotta push it in. Excuse me.

Sorry. Okay. Ah, this was stupid.

[Léo] It's no big deal.

My professional prospects are looking up. He thought I was police officer.

-Not bad. -He did.

As for my personal life, well…

[all clear throat]

[motorcycle approaching]

[Mélanie] Who are those guys?

[Léo] Well, I don't think they're from Amazon.

-[Bat chuckles] -[gunshot]

Oh!

-Yup. -Wow. Shots fired.

-[Mélanie] Here, let's go. -[Bat] What should I do? Follow you?

Should I come with or-- Or should I stay put?

Okay, I'll stay here. I got this.

A stakeout.

My first mission!

Doo-doo-doo-doo! Yeah! Yes!

Oh man, but I need doughnuts.

I'll move up front in case they need help.

All right. [grunts]

A heartbeat in the vag.

Oh! That's good stuff.

-Damn it! Shit, I'm stuck. -[honks horn]

[suspenseful music playing]

-[gunshot] -[Benny, whispering] This way.

Over here. Here. Get to cover.

[exhales]

[Bat] Okay. Camera, camera.

[exhales] Looks good.

Ladies, Cassati's on the second floor, room on the right.

-Got it? -Okay.

[Bat] Good luck.

-Give me a boost up there, will you? -A what?

A boost to the ledge. I used to do that with Ludo.

-What do you mean, a boost? -Ugh, what do you think, Zimmer?

Oh come on, it's way too high.

-[Léo] Look at me. Come on. -Right.

[action music playing]

-[Mélanie grunts] -[Léo] There we go.

[both grunting]

-You okay? -[Léo] I'm fine, just get lost.

I'll handle Cassati. Go get those two dipshits.

[Mélanie] Okay, I'm on it.

[music turns suspenseful]

[breathing heavily]

[grunting]

[man on radio] Okay, kitchen's clear.

-Where are you at, Lionel? -Living room.

-[man] Status? -It's all clear.

Oh!

[door creaks]

[suspenseful music continues]

-[gun cocks] -[guard] Don't move.

[Bat] Mélanie? Who… Uh, who is that?

-Put down your gun. -[Bat] Who is that?

Damn it, I can't see a thing.

[all grunt]

[man groans]

-[sighs] -[Bat] Oh, I can see you now!

Son of a bitch.

["La Cucaracha" blaring]

[screams]

[body thuds]

Thanks, Bat.

We aim to please.

[chuckles]

Hey, where's Cassati?

-[gasps] -[dog barking]

-Tell me where the asshole is. -Right here.

-[Léo] Shit. -Here, give me that.

Here. You could use a blow-dry.

-[Bat] You hear me? -You all right?

-[barking] -Okay, keep it down.

[growling]

[Bat] Léo, you okay? What's going on?

Hey, Mélanie, Léo isn't answering. What do we do?

[Mélanie] Don't worry, I'm on it.

[gunshot]

-Bat? Can you see her? Talk to me. -Fuck.

[Bat] No, hang on, I'm looking for her.

I can't find her.

Léo? Where is she?

[menacing music playing]

[exhales]

-[farts] -Oh!

[Bat] Mélanie? What was that?

-[Benny] Was that you? -[Ivan] No, man. Let's go, come on.

[Bat] What is going on?

[yelps]

-I hear static. -Awesome.

[panting]

-Léo? -[Bat] Can you see her?

Léo?

Léo?

[Bat] What's going on?

Mélanie, what's going on? Talk to me!

[Mélanie] All good. I'm looking for her.

-[Cassati] Move! -[Léo] All right, fine.

-[Mélanie] Léo? -[Cassati] I said, get in there.

Let her go or I'll blow his brains out!

Hurry up.

-[elevator dings] -[laughs]

No!

-[Bat] What's going on? -[Mélanie] Bat, shut up for a minute!

[suspenseful music playing]

[Cassati] Not so clever now, huh?

Oh, fuck.

[suspenseful music continues]

Hang on, who the hell are you guys? I'll kill her, you hear me?

[panting]

[intense music playing]

[racks gun]

[gasps]

[Cassati grunts]

-[chandelier pendants tinkling] -Oh!

[gasps] Oh no.

[tinkling]

[screams]

[breathing heavily]

[Léo] Shit.

[gunshots]

-Ah! -[Mélanie] Who's shooting?

[bullets whizzing and thudding]

-[Léo] A sniper. -[Mélanie] What?

[Léo] He's on the roof.

[gunfire]

[Léo] Come on!

Get to the pool!

[both scream]

Hey, look out!

-You covered me. You are my friend! -No. No way.

-I'm your BFF. -Yeah, in your dreams.

-Your little sister. -We're almost the same age.

-Your homey, then? -[Léo] Oh, just shut up!

-This is the son of a bitch? -Yeah.

-[gunfire] -Luckily, he can't shoot to save his life.

-[Mélanie] It's Bat. -[Léo] We found the sniper, Bat!

[Bat] Let's go! Come on, ladies! Fuck, I was so scared!

You see how I rammed through that hedge? I'm a badass!

-Nice work, Bat. -I'm a cop for real!

All right, go, go, go!

-Let's go, go, go! -Well done, Bat.

[Bat] Who should I drop off first?

Two in a row!

[music fades]

-No. Listen. -[Gustavo on phone] Uh-huh.

Um, Cassati is, you know, feeling a little tired.

[Gustavo] Uh-huh.

So he just won't be available for a while, all right?

-Ah. -Is he…

-That means you work for me now. -Okay. Shh!

-[Zako] You understand? -Okey dokey. Yeah, yeah.

-[Zako] You sure? -[clears throat]

-Answer me, yes or no. -Todo claro.

[Zako] Did I ask you to respond in Spanish?

-Okay, forget it. Bye. -Okay, bye.

Wow. Wow.

[exhales]

[sheep bleating distantly]

Ding-dong. Oh, hey.

Well, hello, Jean-Bat. How's it going? It's-- It's Léo. What's up?

Well, of course, it's Léo, idiot.

How are you, Batou? Yeah-- Oh no, don't be a slut.

Well, hey, how are you, Bat? Good to see you, I'm so glad-- Fuck me.

Ding-dong. Good morning.

Oh my God! [growls]

[Ludo on voicemail] Hey, fatty, what up? It's Ludo.

Listen, just call me back when you're done jacking off.

[sheep bleating distantly]

Hey. Okay.

[dog barking]

Hey, what up, Batou?

Well, listen, call me back once you're done--

Oh wait, no.

Hey… Hey, what up, Batou? How are you? Has the adrenaline worn off?

Oh yeah, that's nice.

Hey, what up, Batou? Yeah, that's good.

Has the adrenaline-- No. Hey, what up, Batou?

Hey, what up, Batou?

Oh. Oh, hey.

You come to see if my adrenaline's worn off too?

Well, yeah.

Hey. Oh, hi, Léo.

-We were just checking the profiles for… -I'm not sticking around.

I-I just thought I'd see, uh…

Okay, well, take this

See you. Bye.

-What's with her? -[blows raspberry]

-Moody. -Yep.

[computer keys clacking]

[Bat] Benny Koumba and Ivan Dieter?

They work as henchmen for a so-called Zako.

Pretty sure he's ex-KGB.

Officially, he manages a shipping company based in Germany.

Looks involved in lots of different trafficking,

and he lives in Hamburg?

I'm calling Léo.

[cell phone ringing]

What?

-Hello? -Uh, you okay?

Mm! Hello, Bat?

-[Bat] Yeah, Léo, where are you? -[laughs]

Why did you leave? Are you mad?

Oh my God, no, no. I mean, no, no.

I just-- I just went back to the office for a minute

so I could take care of something.

Really?

Because your phone's been going around the block for the past five minutes.

-Oh. -Get back here.

We have a lead in Hamburg. Come on.

Okay, can't wait. See you soon.

Hmm.

-All good. -Okay.

[computer chirps]

[Bat] Hang on. That guy smoking, he just opened a garage in the area.

[Mélanie] Oh really?

[cell phone rings]

Yeah, hello?

[Hernandez on phone] Leiman! Get your ass over here right now!

Okay. Oh my God. Oh, fuck me.

-[tires squeal] -Son of a bitch.

[reporter] We are a few short hours away from the opening ceremony

for the international summit on the future of fossil fuels.

The young climate activist, Sima Scott,

has made it clear she will not be silenced or bullied into submission.

Despite receiving death threats in recent days,

she claims she will continue to resist the oil lobby's attempts to censor her.

[metal squeaks]

It's undetectable.

That's impressive, huh?

Huh?

[chuckles]

I just knew you had something to do with that huge shitstorm at Cassati's.

And Banana confirmed it.

Who's Banana?

Banana Hammock. The pool boy Cassati likes.

[sighs] Oh right, right, yeah.

No, uh, well, look, it's true, I was snooping around at Cassati's,

but I was doing normal security reconnaissance for the summit.

Oh, that's bullshit, Léo.

You've barely been in the office.

Look, I know you've been investigating Ludo's murder.

But, boss, I'm telling you, you have to believe me.

-He knows-- -Stop!

The summit's tonight. And I need to take care of it.

I can't be running around chasing after some headless chicken

who can't take an order and follow through.

So we're not using you.

I don't want to see you at the summit, okay?

We'll talk again after that little disgruntled flower child sails away,

and the city is back to being one giant retirement community.

Your card.

What?

[Hernandez] Come on.

There.

-Your gun. -What? No.

[exhales]

Just get out.

-No? -Keep it.

Get out of here, okay?

Um, Hernandez?

[Léo] Down there.

[groans]

Ah!

Ugh, Mélanie, why do you-- Why do you do that?

We're supposed to be a team, right?

[exhales]

["Les Sunlights des tropiques" ringtone]

Oh.

I guess silent mode's off now. Interesting.

Uh, no. No, don't pick up, okay? Come on, don't pick up, please.

-Wait, ple-- -[ringtone stops]

-Hello? -[Hernandez] Leiman?

Where is that German bitch?

-[gasps] -[Léo] Uh, why?

Because the real Detective Zimmer just walked into my office.

He just got here from Berlin this afternoon.

He's here to investigate Ludo's death. And he's wearing khakis.80

[Léo] Oh. I see.

If you listened to anything I said, you wouldn't be looking a fool

in front of some brilliant detective as we speak.

[Hernandez yells and grumbles]

[phone lines clicks]

What a-- Hey, I was right after all. You're not German, are you?

No. [exhales]

No, my name is Mélanie Planells.

I work for the police in Paris.

I used all my time off.

I had to find out what happened to Ludo. I disobeyed orders.

I appointed the real Detective Zimmer because I knew he sucked at his job, and…

And he wouldn't be in my way. I mean, in our way.

Wow. Whoa.

Lots to chew on all at once, but…

So, with Ludo, when you… When you said you were going to live together, I mean…

He proposed to me.

Oh, wow.

Oh my God, that moron was in love.

Well, all that said, it's really racist to criticize your German coworker.

Uh, no, it's not. Yeah, Léo, I'm sorry, that's not true.

-Yes, it is. -No.

Um, but why not?

-I'm so confused. That makes no sense. -Whatever. Forget it.

I mean, I'm not about to facilitate your diversity training.

The two men we saw at Cassati's, the two who killed everyone,

they did time with this guy Cesar.

He owns a garage for luxury cars.

-Wait, Jean-Baptiste mentioned that. -Exactly. He wanted to check it out.

-[Léo] Who, Baptiste? -Right.

What? You could have brought that up before.

I've been trying to tell you, Léo.

[starts car, revs engine]

-[tires screech] -[officer 1] Whoa!

[officer 2] She's a lunatic.

Fucking nut.

-[suspenseful music playing] -[sighs]

You know, I'm surprised. This electric car has grown on me.

You know, for the environment, it's a lot better than using gas.

So you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm going to offer to all my clients a chance to swap their Porsche engines

for new electric batteries.

Gonna be a game-changer.

In the words of Steve Jobs, it's just as important

to decide what not to do as to have a vision.

Yeah, but that doesn't apply here because the idea's bullshit.

Give me that.

Go over there. They're coming.

[car tires squeal]

Go hide in your office.

[dog barking]

[suspenseful music swelling]

This is ridiculous. I shouldn't have to come here in person.

But now you get to come to the source. A one-on-one exchange.

Producer to consumer. It saves you money, and us time.

It's more eco-friendly.

[laughs]

[Kim laughs]

It's funny.

[both laughing]

Well, how's this gonna work?

[Zako] So I'll give you this thing.

You press there.

Three minutes later, there's no more stone in your shoe.

Your prob-- Your problems are over.

Ha! Oh, but, no.

No, I'm not pushing anything, I told you.

No one should be able to trace this back to me.

It's fine, I'll do it.

No, no, no, no, forget it. I'll take it.

Where is he?

Who is that?

[Frédéric] Wait, how do we know we'll be far enough away from the car when, uh…

[imitates explosion]

[Kim] What? They don't care if we die on this mission.

Did they not brief you?

[laughter]

[laughs]

Okay, go ahead, pay him.

[sighs]

Hurry!

[phone buttons clicking]

The transfer is sent.

[Frédéric] Let's go. Thank you very much, gentlemen.

Hey. Get a move on. Let's go. Go get the car, hurry up.

Come on, come on. Let's move.

[Benny] Well, good luck to you. Wouldn't want to be you.

[Kim] Shut your fucking mouth.

[Zako] Damn, I've had a thing for her since Hamburg.

[car doors close]

She's hot.

We can't say that anymore.

[Zako] Oh yeah? Shut the fuck up and go pay that idiot in the garage.

[Ivan] I'll go.

[Bat] Oh shit!

[car engine revving]

[tires squeal]

[dramatic music playing]

[Zako] Come on, man. Talk.

Who sent you?

TripAdvisor.

-[Zako] Hold him. -[Bat] Stop, please.

I'm delicate, okay?

Seriously, I have sensitive skin!

Okay.

[Zako] Come on. You're gonna talk, asshole.

[Bat] Oh, it'd be great if you could avoid hitting me on the right side.

-I still have my appendix. -[Zako] You heard the man, turn him.

-[Bat] Seriously, I still have it. -[punch lands]

[groaning]

I don't think we have the same sense of humor.

-[grunts] -Excuse me?

Hello? Hello?

-I'm looking for my convertible. -Hey, what are you doing here?

[both grunt]

[screams]

-A kick to the balls never fails. -Nice work.

[Bat] Ah! He got me good.

-[Bat groaning] -You okay, Bat?

You okay?

[strained] Good job, ladies.

Is that necessary? Because they…

I mean, they seemed pretty cool. I'm surprised, to be honest.

They said, leave no trace.

[Frédéric] Mm.

[exhales]

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. All right, all right.

[ominous music playing]

[Bat] So then, I saw the two of them swap remotes,

and then the guy bodyguarding them drove away in an electric car.

There was that important guy that I swear to God I've seen him before,

like, several times, I know for a fact.

Okay, so what was in that car?

You think you're detectives?

Go burn your bra out in the street like the other angry lunatic feminists.

-[both laughing] -Yeah! Ow!

-The gray car, is it booby-trapped? -Talk, or I'll beat the shit out of you!

Go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, okay?

-Ow! -Violence isn't gonna help, Léo.

-[bone cracks] -[screams]

Okay, okay, okay!

[Mélanie] Listen to me, you little sack of shit.

Someone we know died in your building in Hamburg. Talk, or I shoot.

-Your friend was messing in our business! -Be quiet, idiot!

[laughing] Hey, it wasn't even us who killed--

[gunshots]

Ah! Ah! Shots fired! Shots fired!

Shit, he was gonna talk.

-[machine-gun fire] -[Mélanie] Over here, Bat!

-[Léo] Fuck, it's him again! -Hey, hey, hey, I have no weapons!

[suspenseful music playing]

[shrieks]

I'll create a diversion or something!

-Here! -[Bat] A diversion!

[Mélanie] Let's go! Come on!

-Ah! -[gunfire continues]

Oh, fuck!

[Bat screaming]

[yelling loudly]

[menacing music playing]

[bullets ricocheting]

[Bat grunting]

[mutters inaudibly]

[dog barking]

[tires screech]

-[Bat] Léo! -[bicycle bell dinging]

Fuck! We have nothing to go on. No leads.

All we really know is the sniper who's after us is a super-hot chick.

I'm sure she's more than just a super-hot chick.

-You don't have to objectify her. -It's a compliment. Jesus Christ.

I'm sure there's something we're missing and that Ludo knew about.

Oh, so I managed to get my hands on this little piece of technology.

Zako used it to call his people,

so if I have their numbers, I should be able to get their… their…

-Their hideout. -No, I'll have their…

-Their stash house. -No, no. I'll be able to know…

-Their names! -No, I know who's calling. So I can get…

-Oh, their cell numbers. -No, I already have their numbers.

-Come on, get with it. -You're right.

-[Mélanie] Just tell us already! -Their geolocation.

-Oh, wow! -Of course.

Makes sense, because then you'd have their location too.

Yeah, that's the point of geolocation. You're not wrong.

You'll have to take me back home so I can look them up.

Well, let's do it.

You're so good.

[Bat] Thank you.

-[Mélanie] Okay, let's go, come on. -[Léo] Let's go.

-Geolocation to the rescue! -[groans]

-[computer beeping] -[Bat sighs]

[typing]

Okay, it looks like the last two connections came from the same location.

Shit, I'm pretty sure that's the castle.

There's only one hour left till the opening ceremony.

Oh my God! I knew it all had to be connected!

-Well, we gotta get there. -[both] Of course we gotta get there!

Wait, shouldn't we change clothes first? It's gonna be formal.

Ooh!

[snaps fingers]

Let's raid grandma's closet.

[dramatic music playing]

[seagulls squawking]

[Mélanie] Look, all the cars are gray.

When the hell did his grandma wear this stuff?

[Léo] You mean when she was wearing clothes at all?

She was a bouncer at a luxury hotel in Saint-Tropez.

Sure, that checks out. Okay, so the lead with the gray car isn't gonna help us.

Whoa, I gotta say, you're such a clever and meticulous little sleuth.

Okay, so our first plan just turned into a no-go.

Well, no, we're still going. The plan is to have no plan.

Wow, I'm so enthused.

-This is a little embarrassing. -Hello, I'm on the list. Thanks.

-Good evening. I am too… -This is a private event.

-But I just got-- -Yeah, she's with me.

Look at the list.

-Oh, you are on the list? -Yeah.

Okay, and your name?

Marlène Someguy. Someguy. The minister…

I see. Please move along now.

Forget it. Whatever. I was invited somewhere way cooler, so…

Well, then, good for you.

[mysterious music playing]

[Mélanie] Hey, Léo, you hear me?

[Léo, over radio] You're coming through crystal clear.

Man, Bat's so good at this. It feels like NCIS.

-[Mélanie] He can hear you, by the way. -[Léo] I know, I said that on purpose.

[Mélanie gasps] Sima Scott's here. I love her.

Listen, you'll see what I mean.

Dear decision-makers, imagine that you find yourself

face-to-face with those who conspired to destroy your children and their world.

-I just love this girl. She's incredible. -[Sima] Turn and look. They're here…

[Léo] Okay, wow, damn. She goes straight in.

Those responsible for our dependence on fossil fuels

are putting an end to the human story.

They claim they're merely meeting the demands of the market.

The truth is, they knew 50 years ago this crisis was coming.

Is she serious?

[Sima] They were the first one aware of the impending climatic catastrophe.

Of course.

They knew full well that relying on fossil fuel energy

would bring Earth to the brink of destruction.

They knew and they didn't do anything?

Those shitheads.

[Sima] Due to its droughts,

Mayotte is without running water four months a year.

Fifty thousand people die every year from air pollution.

They all knew, yet did nothing.

But their impunity ends now.

Yeah, she's right.

It's the end of your impunity, you bastards.

[Sima] A few days ago, the Stockholm Environmental Institute…

[gasps] Oh fuck! It's that very striking female sniper lunatic.

Oh, really? The really hot psycho?

-[Mélanie] Yeah, yeah. -Okay, describe her.

She's wearing a well-tailored black suit,

and she's also wearing some kind of red plastic thing.

A bracelet that doesn't match her outfit.

No, this isn't Project Runway. What's she doing?

-Is she looking at anyone in particular? -[Mélanie] Yeah.

She keeps whispering to this man who's…

Well, he's sort of-- He's…

Well, he's got on a blue suit.

It looks like he knows Sima.

Okay, take a photo and send it to me.

-Oh. -[both chuckle nervously]

Oh, uh, come on in.

-[Léo] Okay. -Here.

-[Sima] But the solution is simple… -[camera shutter clicks]

-[cell phone chimes] -All right. You guys get the photo?

[computer chimes]

Wait, that's the guy from the garage.

-[typing] -[Léo] Okay, Bat's on top of it.

We dropped the kids at the pool.

I repeat, the kids have been dropped at the pool.

The fox is in the henhouse, Léo. Dropping the kids off is…

[giggling] That's when you…

-That's when you what? -[typing]

Go poo-poo.

-It's when you have to take a-- -Yeah, I got it.

[typing]

Frédéric Valence! Of course!

Damn, I'm so stupid! He goes everywhere with Sima.

He's the director of communications for Sima.

There, look. He got a few big transfers from offshore accounts.

And the money's from, uh…

-Petrol Global. They organized the summit. -Right.

You can't be friends with Sima and big oil. Something's off here.

-Yup. -You there, Méla?

-[typing] -Mélanie?

Mélanie?

-One, two… -[Bat] I don't see her phone anymore.

And, uh, what about the contacts from Zako's phone, can you see them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. One guy's still at the party, but one of them moved.

Looks like he's… He's in the water?

Oh right, he's on a boat.

[Léo] That bracelet thing was a signal scrambler.

-Okay. Just stay here, all right? -All right.

-I'm heading there. -Okay.

Watch Valence. Make sure he doesn't leave.

Okay. Wait, hang on, stop! How are you getting there?

My little dinghy's still available.

Wait, I-I-I meant my little boat.

-Ah. -[Bat] Yeah.

-Okay, come on, then. -Okay, okay!

Uh, escape. Password.

All right.

Forget it, I'll clean up later.

-[Gustavo] Excuse us. Sorry. -[Laura] See?

In the end, Valence is the good guy.

He's working with those folks who want to save the planet.

Basically, they don't want us all to die like in The Last of Us.

The way that ended was horrible. You watch it?

I gotta say, I'm amazed at how slow you are sometimes,

because there's no good guy.

Valence is a prick. He's an asshole double agent.

He's pretending. Okay?

Yeah, but I don't work for a double asshole agent.

Well, you don't have much of a choice. You're unbelievable.

Because if we don't do what they say, uh, well, they'll shoot us.

I mean, he probably won't, but the girl will.

-The blond one? -Yeah.

You mean the blond who speaks with a weird accent?

Yeah. And-and actually-- Actually, she's… Where'd she go?

[suspenseful music playing]

[seagulls squawking]

[muffled speech]

-Sorry, what was that? -[muffled]

Again.

Sorry, I do hope it wasn't important.

[sighs] Well…

We should probably get back to this eco-warriors party.

Can't trust Valence to get the job done.

I need to make sure we get rid of this Sima Scott problem for good.

[boat motor revving]

[man] No problem. It's just a tourist boat.

[suspenseful music playing]

[heroic music playing]

That one! It's that one!

[heroic music continues]

[panting softly]

-You hear me? -[Léo, over radio] I'm onboard.

Okay, give me a sec to connect to the cameras.

[Léo] Great, standing by.

[Bat] All right. Be careful, okay?

Ah, yes.

I forgot to mention.

I met your lover.

Really nice guy.

Such a shame I had to shoot him in the head.

Léo, you still there?

-It's her, the son of a bitch! -Oh, shit.

[Kim] I know your little blond friend is trying to ruin our plans.

If you don't tell me where she is, I'll have to kill you.

Come on. Ticktock.

I don't have all day.

-[Bat] Léo, it doesn't look good. -[Kim] What is she planning?

-Léo? You need… -[Kim] Where is that bitch?

You need a hand?

[Léo] I'll take care of it, don't worry.

[Kim] Come on, speak. Cat got your tongue?

[Bat] Léo, come on. Léo, what do we do? What do we do?

-[gun clatters on floor] -[Léo] Mélanie, get the gun!

Whoa!

[grunts]

[Mélanie] Behind you!

-[man grunts] -[groans]

[suspenseful music playing]

There you go! Champagne!

She's so good! Mwah!

[Mélanie yells]

[loud crunch]

-[man groans] -[Bat] She's coming back!

Hey, look out, ladies!

She's coming down. She's got a gun.

She's coming up. Get out of there! Hurry, go!

[gun fires empty]

Okay, guys, she's out of ammo.

-[Léo] Get over here, we're in trouble. -On my way.

[breathing heavily]

[gasps]

[ominous music playing]

[both grunt]

[Léo] Hey, bitch! Come over here so I can kick your ass!

[groans]

[Bat] Hang in there, ladies. I'm almost there.

[tense music playing]

[gasps softly]

[Léo yells]

[Kim grunts]

[panting]

[both groan]

Oh!

[Mélanie grunts]

-You daughter of a bitch. -Wait, you can't say that.

[Kim] Fuck you!

-Shut up! -What?

-Hey, watch your mouth. -Shut up, bitch!

[Bat] Everything's fine now. I'm here!

Okay, okay, yup, we… We're on the same page.

[Frédéric on phone] Do the swap right away, got it?

-Of course. Yeah, we're on it. -Keep it quiet.

-Okay, I'm counting on you. -[phone beeps off]

Okay, uh, they're having trouble finding the girl

who was supposed to be giving us orders, so…

[whistles] …we're moving higher on the ladder.

-That's great. Awesome news for us. -[Gustavo laughs]

And so, what's happening is, they're going to switch out the gray car

for another gray car, the exact same model.

They do it. [blows raspberry] We stay quiet, mum's the word.

Okay.

Here, let me through.

-Wait, hang on. -[Gustavo] Yeah, one sec.

[Laura] Tell me something.

-That double agent isn't our new boss? -Could you go away?

[uplifting music playing]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

-[man] You can't go. -What?

-Get back. -Get out of the way. I need--

-[woman] Ma'am, stop, please quiet down. -Hernandez!

-[woman] Ladies, get out of here! -Excuse me.

-[Léo] Hernandez! -I already fired you, Leiman.

-[Mélanie] We don't give a damn. -Of course you don't. You're a phony.

No, wait, listen, okay? There's a bomb in a car.

-Let's stop jerking off here. -How dare you, Mélanie!

You really fucked over…

Well, I definitely shook enough hands for the next decade.

It was a big hit, right? You know, the message was clear, so…

Well, of course. Very clear.

Just 'cause her name's not Zimmer and she wears hooker panties

doesn't mean she's wrong.

I'm sorry, is this woman a hooker?

No, wait a sec, slow down. Stay focused.

-I'm telling you, there's a bomb in a car. -Yeah. Gray car.

Listen, Hernandez, this will be on your shoulders.

-Attention-- -Sorry.

Attention, we're looking for a bomb. In a gray car.

Ah. Here. Let's go.

Really, it's fine, I don't mind walking. It's really not that far.

-I swear, I do it a lot. -Huh?

No, I mean, no, it's protocol.

[Hernandez] Hello? Why is no one answering. Hello?

Here. I'm sorry, but that's the rule. Thank you.

-We need to say something, I don't-- -No, no.

-I can't work for a double agent. -Just calm down.

-[Hernandez] Look for a gray car! -[officer] They're all gray.

Obviously. I'm not stupid. I can see they're all gray, okay?

-But one of them is rigged with a bomb. -[man] Sir.

[computer] Countdown initiated.

There was a car over here. Where is it now?

-That one? It just left. -What? No.

[officer] Keep looking, guys.

-I can't work for him. -Look, don't think so much.

-I can't work for him. No! -Just do it, okay?

-Stop, you're panicking. -I am not panicking.

I am not working for an asshole. I can't work for an asshole.

They told us to look the other way,

and then they switched out one gray car for another,

which must not have worked nearly as well, I'm sure.

-And where's that gray car now? -It left the summit.

[Mélanie] Oh fuck!

-I'll deal with Valence, you go. -Move.

[Frédéric] Well, that concludes the speeches.

But I'd like to thank you all for your generous support.

Help yourselves to the buffet. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

[crowd] Bravo!

It's over for you, Valence.

[Frédéric] Who the hell are you? Who is she?

-Detective Mélanie Planells. -Apparently Diana Ross has a problem.

-[Bat] Should I play it? -You've got nothing on me. Nothing.

Go for it, Bat. Really? Take a look.

-Look, what's that? -Can't trust Valence to get the job done.

I need to make sure we get rid of this Sima Scott problem for good.

[chuckling nervously] Oh, that's nothing. It's just…

-You guys got him? -[officer] Yeah.

It's a mistake. With her British accent, we can't tell what she's saying.

[Mélanie] Thanks, Bat. I'm coming, guys.

[suspenseful music playing]

[panting]

-Whoa, look out! -[computerized voice] Stop detected.

-Hey! Sima! -Locking doors now.

-[Sima] What's going on? -You'll be fine. There's a bomb.

-What? -[Léo] It's the police. Try not to panic.

-[Sima] Open, the doors! -Sima, look at me. It's all right.

-They're locked! -[Léo] Here's Baptiste.

-[Sima] Who is Baptiste? -You'll see. He's gonna get you out.

We're fucking stuck!

Sima, just calm down. We're gonna defuse it.

-He's a genius. -[Bat] Great, now there's a countdown.

-[Sima] Open it! Hurry up! -Oh! Four minutes, fifteen. Don't panic.

-[Léo] Everything's okay. -Open the door, I gotta get out!

-Almost there! -I loved your speech, Sima.

It was terrific. You opened my eyes.

Sima, Sima, it's open! Try it now, go!

[Sima] Okay, go, go! Go! Thank you!

-Oh my God! -[Léo] Come on, let's go.

Hey, great speech. You rock!

-[Bat] Let's find the bomb. -Where the hell is it?

Look underneath, look everywhere. The glove box.

-Just check everywhere. -What? I am!

And keep an eye out for cables or wires.

-Oh my God, that's it. -What? Got it?

[Léo] Jesus Christ! Oh, fuck!

[Léo grunts]

-We need the bomb squad. -No time, we gotta get it out of the city.

-[Bat] Come on, let's go! -Out of the car!

No, just drive. I'll stop the clock before it explodes.

Hey, he told you to go, so go already! Come on!

At this point, it's all of us or none of us.

Okay.

[tires squeal]

-[Bat] Slow down! -[Mélanie] No, we have to hightail it.

[tires screech]

No, no, no, no, no! Not that way!

[Bat] Watch out, the bomb!

-We have to leave the city. -Yeah. Okay. Hang on.

[suspenseful music playing]

-[tires screech] -[car horn honks]

Easy, easy, slow down!

-[Léo] Watch out, watch out, watch out! -[Bat] Look out!

-[car horns honk] -[bicycle bell dings]

[Léo] Come on, Bat. Time's running out.

She's driving like a maniac! You gotta keep it steady for a minute!

-[car horn blares] -[tires squeal]

Right there, right there!

-Another one! -[Léo] Killing it!

[Bat] Next left will take us out of town.

There you go! Now that's how a badass woman drives!

-Yeah! -[Bat] Left, turn left!

[tires screech]

-[Léo] Where do we go? -[Bat] Away from the city!

[man yodeling]

[Léo] We're getting to Estérel, but it's crowded.

We have to find somewhere quiet to ditch the car.

A quiet place, yeah. In this area?

[suspenseful music playing]

[Léo] Watch out, watch out!

[tires screech]

The water! The water!

The water will absorb most of the explosion.

I'm not blowing up the car in the sea. Think about the fish.

Who gives a fuck about the fish? They shit in the ocean!

Oh wait, uh, just drive toward the cliffs and we'll all bail out.

Right.

[tires squealing]

[Bat] Listen, we don't have to bail out.

I'm in, I just gotta go through it!

[Léo] Hell, yeah! You're the best.

-Come on! -[yells]

-No! -Goddamn it, I can't do anything!

It's rigged! Motherfucker!

What was the Japanese phrase for when everything sucks but eventually works out?

-Hendoku iyaku! -Hendoku iyaku!

[all] Hendoku iyaku!

Easy! Easy! Ah!

[car horn blares]

-Ah! -Ah!

-Fuck! Hendoku iyaku isn't working. -[Léo] Okay, listen.

I really love you both. Bat, I want you.

Mélanie, you're my best friend. You're my homey.

Oh my God, I love you so much!

-Ah! -[beeping]

-Hendoku iyaku! Hendoku iyaku! -[all scream]

[Bat] We're almost to Estérel!

-Which way? Which way do I go? -Left!

[Mélanie] Hendoku iyaku!

[gasps]

Get out, Bat. Quick!

[timer beeping]

[car doors slam]

-[computer] Willkommen Volkswagen. -Ah!

It's okay, ladies, I figured it out!

-What? -What?

I got it!

[all screaming]

[gasping]

Okay, the "homey" stuff was, uh, a little bit too much.

[laughs] That's all right.

We're BFFs.

[laughs]

[all gasping]

I love you.

Too soon? Oh my God. Sorry. You consent, right?

You consent to me?

-Wait, are you sure? -[Léo] Yeah.

[Bat] Oh, great.

[uplifting music playing]

[radio announcer] The climate activist Sima Scott has prevailed,

and the international representatives of Petrol Global

have collectively committed to ratifying

the Fossil Fuel Energy Non-Proliferation Treaty.

People around the world are celebrating the end…

[Léo] There you go.

[Bat] Yeah, suck it, Valence.

[radio announcer] In related news, some of the automobile industry's

brightest minds are working together to prevent global warming

and find solutions for the environment.

Amazing.

We have Ludo to thank for all this.

…violent terrorist plot conceived by none other

than purported climate zealot Frédéric Valence,

who worked closely with Sima Scott.

He has been apprehended and charged with two counts of criminal conspiracy,

and awaits trial.

[heroic music playing]

[band playing somber music]

[exhales]

[band playing uplifting music]

[uplifting music crescendos]

[bandleader] One, two, three…

[band playing upbeat music]

TO LÉO

[sighs]

POLICE CHIEF LEIMAN

Where are your two annoying buddies?

Oh, hi, Miss Hernandez.

Um, so I was actually just looking into things.

All super aboveboard, I swear to God.

And I found out that our old friend Cassati just came out of his coma.

And the two ladies decided to head over for a visit.

You know, we're just so happy to have you with us.

See?

-It's good to be here. -Right?

Even though you're moving to… to another office?

-I won't be far. -All right.

-[chuckles] -Okay, so here we go.

Ah, voilà.

[applause]

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

-[cheering] -Please, this is too much. Thanks, guys.

[tires screeching]

You think I can make my car electric somehow?

Trying to be more eco-friendly.

Why not just buy a new electric car, no?

-You didn't just say that. -[laughs]

Come on. No.

-Whoa! -Oh no!

["Les Sunlights des tropiques" by Gilbert Montagné playing over radio]

[both singing in French]

[music continues]

-[Gustavo] No. -[Laura] Yes.

-No. -Yes.

Look, I said no 'cause it's your fault we're in here.

Well, I said yes 'cause it's your fault we're in here, all right?

-No! -Yes.

-No! -Yes.

-No! -Yes.

-No! -Yes.

-[song stops] -[loud whirring]

[seagulls squawking]

[dolphins clicking]

Yes, yes, yes!

No!

["Les Sunlights des tropiques" resumes]

[dramatic music playing]

[suspenseful music playing]

[funky music playing]

[uplifting music playing]

[calming music playing]

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