Original subtitles

(Radar whirs and beeps)

- (Southern accent) Roy. Look at that. - (Whirs and beeps)

(Whirs and beeps)

Captain!

We got her.

- Oh! Oh! Oh! - (Laughs)

- (Whooping and laughter) - (Whirs and beeps)

- Bye, then. - Bye.

(Southern accent) I'll see you, Roy.

Get lucky today, Mr. Rutherford?

I haven't spotted a wreck in over two years, Pete.

Guess it's just the thrill of the search.

Right, Keech?

That's right, Cap.

(Rock music plays)

I've been thinking, Keech.

Thought you didn't look too good.

Why is the Captain keeping a lid on this?

I mean, it... it's got to be something big, right?

He knows something.

It's got to be bullion down there.

So... so I got... I got a couple of buddies down in Myrtle Beach,

and... and they dive and they got a boat and... and...

Why don't me and you go take a look?

- You laid this on anyone else? - Nah.

You found the rec. I figured you're entitled.

You talking about mutiny, Roy?

Why don't I buy you a drink? You can tell me all about it.

(Insects chirping)

Uh-huh, all right.

Don't worry, I can handle him.

Thank you.

- (Bell tolls) ...faith in thy holy name,

may have our perfect consolation and bliss both in body and soul

in thy eternal and everlasting life...

through Jesus Christ, our Lord, amen.

Uncle Norman.

Women adored him, including his sisters.

They used to call him poor dear Norman and give him money.

The fellas called him a layabout.

Made me laugh when I was a kid.

He used to do conjuring tricks with coins, make 'em disappear.

Never got them back.

Times like this, you wonder what happens to families. Those uncles, aunts and cousins.

All those people from childhood you remember

who used to give you hugs and half crowns.

And socks for Christmas.

Where have they all gone?

- (Birdsong) - (Dog barking)

(Bell chiming)

(Clock chimes)

His Lordship wants us out of here quite soon, so let's wrap things up, shall we?

We'll do the library and the dining room in the morning, Mr. Alwyn.

(Door creaks)

Is someone there?

Your Lordship?

Oh, you're two days early, Mr. Dill.

I was vaguely in the neighborhood, Mr. Alwyn. Good evening.

And Lovejoy thought you'd have a sneak preview, did he?

Bearing in mind our long association with your esteemed company,

we didn't think it entirely inappropriate.

(Smash)

- How did that happen? - Good Lord!

- Did you move those plates? - I haven't got round to it, governor.

- (Dog barking) - Good Lord.

All right, Baxter, that'll do!

Is something the matter?

We're not quite sure what happened, sir.

A sudden attack of the flying saucers, my lord.

Now don't be tiresome, Katherine. These gentlemen are only doing their job.

(Loud scrape)

(Car wheels on gravel)

(Car door slams)

- Hello, Beth. - Hi.

(Grunts)

- Is Tinker still up at Wakering Hall? - I haven't seen him.

- Oh, how was the funeral? Was it sad? - Yeah.

I was one of the few people there that remembered him.

Oh, so like you're the last of the Lovejoys, then.

Ha! Just about.

Apart from my daughter.

Never mind. She'll make you a grandfather one of these days.

- Grandfather? - Yeah, what's wrong with it?

Oh, nothing. I'm just thinking about my own granddad.

He used to play bowls and make shelves. Endless shelves.

Oh, and he chewed something called slippery elm.

- Oh, it's different these days. - Oh?

My granddad's got an earring and he listens to Toots And The Maytals all day.

(Chuckles)

(Birdsong)

(Tink) It's a pity the old boy's got to sell up.

After all, this pile has been in his family for generations.

But then running out of cash was always a great leveler.

Miserable-looking lot, the Wakerings.

They were an ill-fated family for centuries.

Those who didn't die in battle succumbed to syphilis or the drink.

That explains your ghost, then.

He's wandering round looking for antibiotics or aspirin.

The ghost's a she not a he, Lovejoy.

Lady Katherine, also known as the Gray Lady.

Lord Wakering seemed quite chummy with her.

Where's the old boy going?

There's a dotty aunt in Northumberland who breeds mink but can't breed Wakerings.

It's a pity when an old family line comes to an end.

Hm. Know the feeling.

See you later, Tink.

- Are you not bidding this morning, Lovejoy? - My cupboard is full, Charlie.

Unlike your bank balance.

I notice my rent hasn't been paid for the last two months.

(Southern accent) Pardon me.

Would you happen to know what period this house dates from?

Well, most of what you see is Jacobean,

er... though some parts of it are very much older than others.

Central heating dates back to 1947.

It's kind of sad when a family has to sell after all this time.

- What'll happen to the house? - Well...

- Might become a fat farm. - Mm.

- What I... - Police college.

Or home to a very rich American.

(Chuckles) Well, don't y'all look at me.

We'll try not to.

Smell that perfume, Charlie. Hear that Southern accent.

It's like molasses being poured over butter pecan ice cream.

Southern? Yeah.

Like, er... Guildford?

- Deep South, Charlie. - Ah.

As in, er... Chichester?

(Both chuckle)

(Sniffs and sighs)

"I hate to admit it, but New York seems dull without you.

"I'll see you Tuesday. Love, Charlotte."

And tomorrow's Tuesday.

- Charlotte, how was New York? - Impossibly hot.

- And how are you? - Fine. Everything's OK, really.

- And how did the Wakering sale go? - A bit disappointing, Mr. Alwyn said.

Sales report's in the ledger. I'll get you a coffee.

- (Phone rings) - (Sighs)

(Ringing)

- Lovejoy Antiques? - (Charlotte) Lovejoy.

I am not amused by the stroke you pulled at the Wakering auction.

You know what I'm talking about.

When you put a hold on something,

what you really mean is you'll settle up when you've laid it off

and that costs me money, and that really makes me mad!

Missed you too.

- Mr. Alwyn? - Good trip, then, eh?

If you haven't got the money, these go back into the saleroom.

- The ones I'm supposed to have bought? - Yes, the copperplate engravings.

- Mr. Alwyn. - Hello, how was the trip?

- These DeBrys engravings went yesterday. - £10,000.

- A good price, I thought. - Not bad.

I'm always letting sentiment overrule sense with you!

- I can understand the confusion. - You take advantage of me. You do.

- What happened here... - You let him sign a promissory note.

- I saw his name in the ledger. - The name Lovejoy, certainly.

- (Clock chiming) - But another Lovejoy.

- Another Lovejoy? - Another Lovejoy.

Another Lovejoy. The cashier's check's expected at 11.

(Chiming and whirring)

(Loud chimes)

(Cuckooing)

Excuse me.

Who do I give this check to?

- And you are? - Mary-John Lovejoy.

Mary-John Lovejoy.

- Didn't we meet? - Mm.

I'm Lovejoy.

Is that a fact?

Well, what's your given name?

Just Lovejoy.

- Is it a common name in England? - Yes.

Cos back home there's been Lovejoys in Sheridan County since way back.

Excuse us. Well, there was a Skinner Lovejoy.

Played for Stockport County in 1956.

- Stockport County? - Mm. That's a soccer team, though.

I don't think you're related.

Sometime when I walk in somewhere I get clammy hands or a... a fuzzy head.

Sometimes it's... it's a ringing in the ears or a... a tightening in the chest.

Beautiful women have the same effect on me.

You're telling me that you've got some kind of extrasensory perception?

- Yeah, that's it. - (Chuckles)

Tell me about your interest in antiques.

Well, my passion is early American history.

I'm donating these to our local university.

Do you happen to know Lord Wakering?

Not personally, no.

Well, I was led to believe that he had some items of greater interest,

things he held back from the sale.

Is that the kind of thing you could find out for me? Money is not a problem.

If he's holding anything back, I'll sniff it out for you.

Good.

Well, obviously, I'd, er... I'd like to get to know you better, hm?

Unless that's out of the question, us being kinfolk?

I think we can safely assume, cousin, that we're far enough apart in the gene pool.

I'm afraid you're a little late, Mr. Lovejoy. Not many pickings left.

Only these morbid pictures of my dyspeptic ancestors.

I suppose people were afraid that they'd frighten the children.

I came to pick your brains, sir.

- The DeBrys engravings. - Yes?

Do you have any other items from that period that you did not put into the sale?

Things I couldn't bear to part with? Yes, there are a few.

But the chief reason that I'm surrounded by all this early colonial stuff

is because my family were distantly related to Sir Walter Raleigh.

Now, there was a great man. Scholar, sailor, poet.

Made a magnificent speech from the scaffold.

I'm impressed. Most people only remember him for dropping his cloak in the puddle.

- (Chuckles) - But he was a magnificent fellow.

Come upstairs. I want to show you something.

These are some of the precious things I'm taking with me.

You see? This is Raleigh's compass from his ship the Falcon.

I think it must have been his first royal command.

At any rate, it was his first attempt to get to America.

But he never got further than Cape Verde.

- Had a few problems with the Spanish. - I believe so.

You see, all these things are relics of long voyages, distant days.

Look here. There's a ship's log. Lockets, rings.

This one has a seal.

Probably a governor's seal. Could have been John White's.

- Wasn't he a watercolorist? - Yes, that's right.

He was the first man to provide a pictorial record of a new world

and then later on he became governor of what was known as the Lost Colony.

The Lost Colony?

- (Sighs) How did we lose it? - Well, nobody seems to know.

White came back to England to fetch supplies

and when he returned in 1590, everything seemed to have disappeared

including his daughter and his baby granddaughter,

the first English child ever to be born in the Americas.

Ah, that's the jewel in the crown of my collection. It was Raleigh's.

The pearls were worth £6,000 in his day.

(Whistles)

Just the one shoe?

Yes, he left it as a gift to Katherine Moresby.

He said it was a proof that he would return some day.

The Gray Lady?

Yes. Their relationship must have been quite special.

She killed herself in this house on the very day that he was executed.

Lord Wakering, I know that you can't put a price on history of this kind,

- but, um... - (Rattling)

I have to ask the question on behalf of my client.

- (Thunder) - You mean will I sell?

Yes.

- (Thunder) - She's American and, er...

Ooh. (Coughs)

Excuse me. And she has...

- (Thunder) ...very very deep pockets, so I think...

(Coughs) I think you...

you'd be able to get...

whatever you want.

- (Birdsong) - (Lovejoy gasps)

(Birdsong)

(Gasping and coughing)

(Gasping)

What you need is a breath of fresh air, old chap.

- Here, follow me. - (Coughing)

(Bell ringing)

(Sounds horn)

Don't be frightened, child.

Be very polite with Miss Lillian. You understand what I'm saying?

Yes, Grandma.

(Creaking)

(Dog barks)

- (Birdsong) - (Clock ticking)

Now, those things have been in my family a long time, Estelle.

I want you to look at them and tell me if they speak to you.

(Clock ticking)

There's voices, Miss Lillian.

But they're real faint.

Take your time, child.

And your grandmama will get you some lemonade.

- (Birdsong outside) - (Clock ticking)

(Ghostly whispering)

(Creaking)

- How you doing, cousin? - Hello, Mary-John.

- I'm sorry I'm late. - That's OK.

- What you got there? - Pewter serving dish. You might like it.

- Oh, I hardly spend any time in the kitchen. - Oh.

- Did you see His Lordship? - Yeah.

- He has things, doesn't he? - Yes, he does.

- Like what? - Er... would you like some tea?

Please.

Well, he's got, um...

he's got a ship's log, some rings, a seal,

and there's a shoe that used to belong to Sir Walter Raleigh.

I have to have them.

But, Mary-John, he doesn't want to sell.

I don't take no for an answer.

So, this is pewter, right?

- It is, and it's coming up a bit in value. - Lighter than I thought.

- (Car door slams) - There's a reason.

You put hot water in there and it keeps the food warm.

- Oh. - Hm.

Charlotte! You don't have to dress up to drop in on us, you know.

Beth, break out the Bulgarian Cabernet and wash out a couple of mugs.

I'm going to a dinner party at Charlie's.

And you want a date.

Oh, this is such short notice. What to wear? What to wear, hm?

I can't possibly take you with me, Lovejoy. He's paired me off with someone.

One hand on your leg under the tablecloth. Scream, and I'll come running.

Actually, I'd rather you ran over to a house near Newmarket for me tomorrow

and scanned it.

I have to be in London and I've got two auctioneers on the road.

Oh, well, I could probably do that for a small fee.

Hm. Unless you're not too tied up with Scarlett O'Hara, of course.

- She was seen cruising the high street. - (Gasps)

Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Charlotte?

Frankly, my dear...

(Southern accent)... I don't give a damn.

(Chuckles)

- (Door shuts) - (Chuckles)

(Ducks quack)

(Bell chimes)

- Oh. - Oh. You with the estate agents?

- This is Lord Wakering. - Oh, really?

I'm Peter Stroud. This is my wife Belinda. We've come to do the final measuring up.

We understood that you'd have most of your things out of here by now.

There's a lorry coming at seven in the morning to collect all these.

- There's no hurry, is there? - No, no.

We don't actually move till next weekend.

Where are you going, exactly?

To live with my sister. Peculiar woman, but at least it's England.

(Chuckles) Preferable to ending one's days playing clock golf in Torremolinos.

We've just moved from Jersey. Been there for tax reasons.

We still have a lovely home there, right on the golf course.

It has a solarium and four Doric columns.

Sounds enchanting.

Come along, Baxter.

(Dog barks)

Goodbye, Katherine.

Now, do be nice, won't you?

(Dog barks)

All right, Baxter, that'll do.

There are your keys for tomorrow.

And there's a map. You'll need it because the house is a little tricky to find.

These are the Wakering keys.

- Someone needs to be there first thing. - OK, Bill, thanks.

- Night, Lovejoy. - Night, Bill.

(Phone ringing)

My, my.

What d'you want to go back to Wakering Hall for?

Because of what happened to me.

After what happened to me, I'm determined never to go to the place again.

When Madam started hurling plates,

I was filled with an irrepressible urge to sit in this very pub with a large G&T.

You get that urge every night at six o'clock, Tink.

What happened to you was a crisis of conscience

for trying to buy Lord Wakering's stuff.

Impossible. Lovejoy had a conscience bypass years ago.

Ha.

(Bell rings)

Whoa.

Right, Katherine.

(Bang)

(Sniffing)

- (Bells chiming) - (Crackling)

- (Birdsong) - (Sighs)

Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm sorry for all the trouble.

(Clears throat)

I told them I'd authorized you to check on Lord Wakering's things

until they were picked up in the morning.

Very nice of you, Charlotte.

- What the hell were you doing there, anyway? - I told you. I thought I'd missed something.

Lord Wakering's had his antiques stolen. You're an antique dealer.

You're found at the scene of the crime.

I was found unconscious, and I've got a bump on my head to prove it.

The police think you had an accomplice. You argued, he hit you and took off.

Mary-John is not an accomplice.

Oh, no!

Not her again.

The smell of perfume hardly constitutes proof, Lovejoy.

Well, she's checked out of the Bull.

If you want my opinion, Lovejoy, her name was never Lovejoy.

She had him set up a long time ago.

Of course her name's Lovejoy. I saw it on her check.

Where is she now, one wonders.

(Charlotte) Probably sipping champagne in first class

- on a 747 to North Carolina, I should think. - (Tinker) Lucky Girl.

- Is she from North Carolina? - Mm-hm.

(Southern accent) Sheridan County, North Carolina.

(Clears throat) I've never been to North Carolina.

- Oh, no. - (Tink) Oh, come off it, Lovejoy.

It's not the first time you've been bitten on the bum by a femme fatale.

I can't let Mary-John get away with this, can I, hm?

I've got to make things up to Lord Wakering and Charlotte.

Oh, please!

- No, don't turn all of this on to me. - I'm not.

You can't go all the way to North Carolina just for this.

I have to. It's family.

Family business.

Family?

And I, er... I don't see why I shouldn't make a couple of bob while I'm at it.

Ha.

Tink?

Who do we know who can knock off a couple of John Whites?

(Seagulls cry)

No, no, cut! Everybody, just cut!

Look, damn it, Benedict!

You are in the shot again and we are losing our light! Now come on!

I'm terribly sorry, Mary-John. I... I didn't...

- Professor, do you want to do this again? - Well, yes, of course.

- Oh, OK. - Yes.

And would y'all stop diggin' out there? We're trying to film here!

And where's John White? Where are you?

Can you believe that? She's got half the university diggin' up dirt and making movies.

What do you suppose she's up to?

(Siren blares)

(Bicycle bell)

And I thought there was only Lovejoy Antiques.

- Hi. - Oh, hello.

- Is there a Lovejoy in the building? - Oh, no, sir.

This is the corporate headquarters of the Lovejoy group of companies.

But the only Lovejoy who ever came here was Mr. Everett Lovejoy,

our chairman and chief executive officer.

- But sadly he passed on last year. - Oh, I'm sorry.

A major loss to the state of North Carolina.

I'm sure, but there is a Mary-John Lovejoy, isn't there?

Why, yes! That would be his daughter.

Because I met her recently, and I'm anxious to get in touch with her.

Well, I don't really know the Lovejoys on any personal level,

but I do know their family estate is the Cedar Creek Plantation near Sheridan.

- That would be in Sheridan County? - Uh-huh.

- It's about a three-hour drive from here. - Thank you.

(Chuckles) I just love the way you talk.

Well, I love the way you talk too...

Mitzi.

(Chuckles) Oh!

(♪ Bluegrass banjo on radio)

(♪ Bluegrass fiddle)

(Police siren)

(Woman on police radio)

(Sounding horn)

(Chatter)

♪ And I'm still on my own...

Hal, give me two eggs easy over, please.

- Egg and bacon. - Meatloaf.

Can I have a ham sandwich, please?

Uh... excuse me.

- What exactly did I order? - Oh, it's the blue-plate special.

You got ham hops, turnip greens, lima beans, biscuits and gravy.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Passin' through?

- Uh-huh. - Not much reason to stay.

Most exciting thing happened here is when the bowling alley put in the automatic pin set.

- (Phone rings) - (Chuckles)

Am I on the right road for Cedar Creek?

Cedar Creek, Cedar Creek.

(Shouts) Is he on the right road for Cedar Creek, George?

- It's way past Whelan, ain't it? - No, you're thinking Cedar Junction.

You head east out of town.

- When the road forks, you take a right fork... - Take a left fork.

- Take a left. - A right fork.

Right fork. That's it.

- There's a lake. - The lake's on your left, you're doing fine.

Five miles later on, you'll find yourself in Cedar Creek.

Now don't blink. Might miss it.

(Engine backfires)

(Birdsong)

(Dog barking)

(Vehicle drawing up)

Hey! Hey, fella!

What you doing in there?

I... I was hoping to see the house.

(Snorts) Private property.

- I thought it was open to the public. - (Chuckles)

It's Monday. Can't you read the sign?

Well, not from this side.

- You're not from around here, are you? - How did you guess?

Hey, don't get funny with me.

Why don't you put your hands on top of your head?

No, I'm sorry, Miss Lillian, but the... the reason I'm calling

is because the, er... the perpetrator claims that he's a Lovejoy.

- I don't claim to be a Lovejoy. - Shh!

You've got a passport and driving license there that prove I am.

Right. So you don't know of any kinfolk he might be?

Yeah, all right. Well, you be sure and tell Mr. Rutherford to call me when he gets in.

Yeah, I'll be here.

(Chuckles)

No, that's all right.

(Laughs)

That Miss Lillian, I swear she's crazier than a possum at a pig picking.

(Insect buzzing)

- D'ya eat? - Excuse me?

- Did you eat? - No, but I think something's eating me.

Oh.

You know,

anybody can barbecue chicken,

- but the secret is in the sauce. - (Insect buzzes)

(Insect buzzes)

Now, Charlene, that's my wife, what she does is,

she puts pickled pepper in the grease...

- (Insect buzzes) ...then adds it to the red-eye gravy.

(Chuckles) Serves it with biscuits and 'slaw on the side.

Tell you, it don't get no better than that.

I'll get you a piece.

Be right back.

Doggone it! I ate it all.

- Oh. - (Insect buzzes)

- Psst. - (Insect buzzes)

Only kiddin'.

(Wheezy laugh)

(♪ Bluegrass on radio)

- (Door closes) - (Footsteps)

- (Snoring) - (Door closes)

(Music off)

Uh! Mr. Rutherford.

Sir, uh... I wasn't sleepin'. I was just restin' my eyeballs.

I know that, Willie. The law never rests.

Yeah. Well, I just came down to check out your prisoner.

See, my aunt told me that he was a Britisher.

Oh, yeah. He talks real funny too. Uh... and he was on your property.

Oh, well, it gave you something to do.

You really haven't had anything to sink your teeth into

since that barking dog down in Shady Lane.

- It barked real loud, sir. - Oh, yeah.

What's his story?

Well, he claims acquaintance with Mary-John.

Does he now? Uh-huh.

Well, that could be. She was over there last month.

(Insect buzzes)

A man with your name shouldn't spend his first night in Sheridan County in a cell.

- (Insect buzzes) - Who are you?

Rutherford Lovejoy.

(Insects chirp)

(Clock ticking)

Two snorts of that and you'll sleep like a baby.

What is it?

Well, the Alcoholic Beverage Control Department calls it illicit liquor,

but it's moonshine for short.

(Gasps)

- It's smooth, isn't it? - Hope the enamel is still on my teeth.

- So you know Mary-John, is that right? - We've met.

Mm-hm. Well, what brings you here?

Just a burning desire to visit the South, or are you trying to get into my sister's pants?

No, no, she employed me.

I'm an antique dealer. I've brought over some watercolors that she might be interested in.

Only joking. Well, she's always hunting down that old stuff.

She's kind of a benefactor to a local university here.

They see Mary-John coming across the campus waving that checkbook, they love it.

A matter of fact, she... she bought a building down in Sheridan

and is gonna turn it into a goddamn museum.

- (Clock ticking) - The Lovejoy Museum.

It's got a certain ring to it.

- You know about antiques, huh? - Hm.

Are you an expert?

I guess so.

Well, come on, I want to show you something.

(Clocks ticking)

(Chiming)

I've got a crew diving off Cape Fear.

- Cape Fear? - Yeah, they don't call it that for nothin'.

It's the biggest maritime graveyard on the whole Eastern seaboard.

They got wrecks down there from Francis Drake's time.

They got German U-boats, and I think I found a new one.

(Snorts)

Look at this.

That is a... Now wait a minute, I gotta get this right. That's a side-scan sonar image.

We didn't have that when I started to look for wrecks.

It was just me and a couple of divers with a hunch in the gut.

- So what does your gut tell you on this? - That's Spanish.

It probably came up from Florida.

See, there were Spanish there in the 16th century,

and when they declared war with England,

they sent all these ships up to rout out the colonists.

And they left a mass of stuff.

- You, er... you sure it's Spanish? - Yeah. You can tell by the cannon.

And then I found these gin bottles too.

- Why do you ask? - Well, this plate's English.

You can tell by the touchmark. See?

And these buttons are uniform buttons.

The crest on them, it's English.

Ah.

You sure know your stuff.

So what's an English crew doing in a Spanish ship?

Ah, that's what I'm fixin' to find out...

cousin.

(Insects buzz)

(Engine whirs)

Breakfast is set up in the morning room, sir.

- Thank you, um... - Anderson, sir.

- I'm Lovejoy. - So I've been informed.

That's Miss Lillian. She has a kind of retiring nature.

Keeps to herself, especially since her brother died.

- Where's Mr Rutherford? - He left with his boat at six.

If you want to see the plantation, we can saddle up a horse for you.

Oh, no, no, no, no, that won't be necessary. I've... I've got to get going.

Er... would you thank Mr. Rutherford for his hospitality?

(♪ Banjos on radio)

(Horn sounds)

For many years our university enjoyed the patronage of Everett Lovejoy.

His passionate interest in our heritage and history was reflected in his private collection

which was graciously bequeathed to us in the terms of his will.

Mary-John Lovejoy clearly inherited the generosity for which her father was renowned.

- Here, here. - Very well said.

Not only has she vigorously pursued additions to this collection...

(Clears throat)... she has graciously given us this magnificent house

to be its permanent home.

(Applause)

I... I swear when we first moved in to restore this house

with our student volunteers with their paintbrushes and their power tools,

I couldn't see this dream comin' true.

(Sighs and chuckles)

I, uh...

I... Oh, sorry.

Er...

I, er...

I want to thank Professor, uh... Benedict.

I want to thank y'all for being here today,

and I want to dedicate this museum to the memory of my father.

(Chatter)

(Woman on tannoy)... a screening of Mary-John Lovejoy's production The Lost Colony

in the museum being started again in 20 minutes' time.

They weren't meant to land here, were they, Professor?

That is true, young man. That was their first mistake.

They were supposed to land north near the Chesapeake Bay

so their leader John White...

went home to confer with Walter Raleigh and, er... to bring fresh supplies.

Of course, unfortunately he was caught up in the Spanish Armada

and it was three years before he could return.

- And there was no sign of anyone? - Nothing but silence.

- I guess it was the Indians, huh? - Hm.

There was no sign of an Indian massacre, not a musket, not a cooking pot, not a child's toy.

When people go missing in America, they usually show up in LA, don't they?

I have my own theory, which hopefully the current university project will support.

So, is Mary-John behind this as well?

Her enthusiasm has revived everyone's interest.

It was her father's obsession, and since his death it's become hers.

I was so surprised when I saw you. I never dreamed you'd be able to make it.

Well, I only got my invitation yesterday.

Oh, I see you've met Professor Beale.

Benedict, this is another member of the Lovejoy clan.

- One of the Suffolk Lovejoys. - Oh, really?

Mm. Darlin', would you mind freshening my spritzer?

If you'll, er... excuse me?

- What invitation? - Your brother's.

- My brother Rutherford? - Mm, mm.

I spent last night as a house guest at the plantation.

Oh.

Don't believe nothing that... pumpkin-head tells you about me.

He just said you were a patron of the local arts.

I think you're doing a fantastic job, Mary-John, but just one thing does puzzle me.

I mean, I've been having a good look around here

and I can't see anything that you nicked from Lord Wakering.

Maybe, uh... we should talk about this somewhere more private?

Mm.

Lovejoy, here's another relative of yours, my little brother Bo.

- Hello, Bo. - You need me, Mary-John?

You can take off, hon. I'm sure you've got some pool stick waitin' on you.

Bo was a first-string linebacker at the University of Alabama,

but he messed up his knee and never made the pro's.

Then he went into public relations.

He's not too quick off the mark. Never been first fly on the dog turd.

Know what I'm sayin'?

You shoot these, or did Bo strangle them?

This was my daddy's place. I just loved it here when I was a little girl.

Rutherford got the house and I got the lodge.

You happy with bourbon?

It's probably safer than what your brother gave me.

- Did Rutherford ask how we met? - I told him I was working for you.

- Well, now, I didn't think you still were. - (Chuckles)

You planning on moving in, cousin?

Got something to show you.

They cost me, but I think the museum'll be happy to pick up the tab.

- Yeah, they're nice. - Yeah, they're John White's.

- Maybe I'll get some trustees to look at it. - I don't get this.

These are original John Whites, something your museum would kill for.

I mean, you can't sell the Wakering stuff. That's stolen.

Now, hold on a minute.

I didn't steal nothin'.

Mary-John, I was there when it happened. I've got a bump on my head.

And you wear a very nice perfume.

(Taps table) Here's the deal. I'll take the John Whites for old times' sake.

You get on a plane back to London. End of story.

No, here's the deal.

You give me the Wakerings. I give you a break on the John Whites.

Then I get on a plane to London. End of story.

When are you boys gonna realize

that when a girl says no

she means no?

(Insects chirp)

Traffic was still heavy on Interstate 94, following a collision between two trucks,

one containing livestock.

Twenty-eight dollars in advance.

(Rattle)

(Croaks)

(Croaks)

(♪ Country ballad playing)

(Train whistle)

(Train rattles and chuffs)

Excuse me,

but I seem to be sharing my room with something green and slimy

that keeps saying "Ribbit."

Oh, that must be old Dennis.

- Hm? - Dennis Hopper?

Don't you worry. We won't be charging you double occupancy. I'll just go fetch him.

You keep your eye on the place. I've been lookin' everywhere for him.

In other news, the body found yesterday has been identified as Roy Wright,

a crew member of the Jupiter,

a vessel belonging to Mr. Rutherford Lovejoy of Cedar Creek.

I spoke to Mr. Lovejoy earlier.

It's my understanding that Mr. Wright must have fallen overboard whilst on his nightwatch.

It's a terrible loss of a young life. I hope it never happens again.

Oh...

A little off the turf, ain't you?

You're moonlighting for Rutherford, Lemmon? Hm?

Does he think I might put a move on his little sister?

You better watch your step.

Mr. Rutherford Lovejoy is no man to cross.

And if I was in your shoes, I'd be as nervous as a long-tailed cat

in a roomful of rocking chairs.

(Bell tolls)

- (Bells chiming) - (Creaking)

- (Bells ringing) - (Thunder)

- (Bells ringing) - (Hammering)

- Shh! Shh! - Oh! Oh!

Don't tell me you can't hear anything this time.

- Oh, it's only the pipes. - (Smash)

(Thunder)

Excuse me. I'm Belinda Stroud. We bought Wakering Hall.

Oh, yes, of course you did.

- Are you settled in all right? - No, I'm afraid not.

Your company handled the sale and we feel that we've not been properly informed.

About what?

I haven't had a single night's sleep since I moved in.

There are noises.

My husband says it's plumbing, but it isn't. There's a presence.

Ah! You must have known about it.

Well, I'd heard rumors but one doesn't take them seriously.

I'm awfully sorry. I couldn't help overhearing. My name is Dill.

I too have experienced the cold hand of fear at Wakering Hall.

- Really? - But I had better luck than my friend Lovejoy.

- (Clocks ticking) - Why? What happened to him?

- Well, he went there at night. - (Creaks)

We found him in the morning incoherent, babbling.

Every hair on his head had turned white.

He's in a sanatorium now.

Probably in there still.

- Aaah! - (Chimes)

- It's only a clock. - (Creaks)

Uhh! Huhhh!

Excuse me.

I may ask you to make discreet inquiries about a prospective buyer.

I... I don't suppose Lord Wakering would consider buying the house again?

- Oh, well... - Mm.

- Possible. - Might.

At the right price, of course.

Please, please offer him whatever you think suitable.

I'd be very grateful. Thank you.

(Both chuckling)

Why did you tell her all that? It was extremely naughty of you.

I couldn't stand the pair of them.

They sacked Mrs. Greenlands and were extremely rude to the dog.

(Charlotte laughs)

- One! - Two, three, four!

Hey, we're first!

And ready to attack!

So, why aren't I on the next plane home?

Well, I figure when a girl says no, I want to know why.

(Cheerleaders)... is on the move, so step aside, we're pushin' through!

Work it! We're hot!

(Cheering)

(Phone rings)

Yes? Thank you.

Someone unfamiliar has been poking around the university.

Lovejoy.

So where did these come from, Miss Lillian?

From the ocean, child.

Before that is what I was hoping you could tell me.

(TV on)

(Charlotte) I'm sorry I can't take your call at the moment.

If you'd like to leave your name and number, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

(Beep)

I'm disappointed to have got your machine, Charlotte.

Still, you're probably fast asleep by now.

But I can just imagine your silk negligee rustling gently against the satin sheets.

Hm. Then again, you're probably tossing and turning restlessly

unable to subdue the thoughts of me pounding in your brain.

(Crash)

Hello, Bo. Have you come to turn the bed down?

Whoa!

(Bo) When Mary-John says go, she means go.

We'll take him now, Bo.

(Grunts)

You sit down and wait right there.

Back off, Bo, just back off. We want the little scrote, and he ain't worth fighting over.

Forget it, Keech.

It was the left knee, wasn't it, Bo, that got chewed up in the game against Florida State?

Yeah, why?

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ah!

- What's my little sister been telling you? - About what?

- (Crack) - You took something from me.

- (Crack) - You abused my hospitality.

The only thing I took from here was a world-class hangover

from that moonshine.

In the bad old days, my great-granddaddy used to use this on runaway slaves.

But they never got very far,

cos a man can get lost on a plantation like this.

The snakes and the alligators'd take care of 'em.

I want you to think about that, boy, while you try to remember what you did with my stuff.

You've lost me.

- Mr. Rutherford? - Stay out of this! I'm having a meeting!

Is this what you mislaid, sir?

When you was on the boat, one of the housemaids must've put it in the wrong place.

I'm sure you'll forgive the misunderstanding. Anderson? Put our guest in the Rose Room.

I'd rather go back to my five-star motel.

(Chuckling)

Listen, I got a lot of important things I'm doing, and I still don't trust your ass.

Until I do, you are in the Rose Room.

(Lovejoy)... probably tossing and turning restlessly, unable to subdue the thoughts of...

Oh, well, this is just nonsense stuff.

- (Bang) - There, listen to this. Someone comes in.

(Lovejoy) Hello, Bo. You come to turn the bed down? Whoal

(Grunting and groaning)

Oh, no, it's a fight!

And then someone says, "I'm going to rip off your head and spit down your neck."

You sure he said spit?

(Clock ticking)

Rutherford thought that you'd stolen those things, but he was wrong.

I borrowed them.

I didn't introduce myself. I thought you were here to help my nephew.

I'm Miss Lillian.

I'm Lovejoy. It's nice to meet you.

How do you do?

- Why did you borrow these things? - I wanted to show them to my friend Estelle.

She has a gift.

I take her things from my family, anything that will help her to connect me to my past.

You, um...

you're trying to... to reach out toward your brother?

No, I'm trying to speak to Josiah.

- Is this another Lovejoy I should know about? - Yes.

He's the reason my brother's so obsessed with the Lost Colony.

Josiah Lovejoy was one of the very first settlers.

The Lost Colony.

Rutherford thinks he has the answer on his Spanish galleon.

Hm. He hasn't.

Really?

Oh, I'm so pleased.

Do tell.

Firstly those gin bottles.

I doubt it they made it to the New World before 1700.

And secondly?

Those uniform buttons, the crests on them. They're not Elizabethan, they're Jacobean.

I'm not surprised. They didn't speak to Estelle.

All they say to me is that Rutherford planted them down there.

And I think Mary-John's about to do the same thing.

If you're trying to tell me those children are cheats and frauds

I'm barely shocked.

Why, Miss Lillian?

(Rutherford) What are you two doing in here?

Oh, we were just gettin' acquainted.

- Good morning. - All set to go?

- Yes, I am. How are you? - I'm fine, and you?

Fine, thank you.

Mr. Lemmon?

Rutherford Lovejoy.

I have some information regarding my English cousin.

Oh! (Sniffs)

Oh! Ah!

- Miss Lillian. - Get in, please.

Why are you helping me?

Estelle says you're here looking for something.

How would she know? She's never met me.

I told you. Estelle has a gift.

- Well, thank you anyway. - You're welcome.

- Thank you, Anderson. - (Vehicle pulls up)

I don't think your trouble's over yet, Mr. Lovejoy.

Heh-heh! Hey, sweetie-pie. What you doing?

Uh-huh. He's back.

(Chuckles)

I think it was your chicken. Yeah.

(Smooching)

You hear that?

(Clucking and crowing)

- (Laughing and crowing) - Excuse me.

- (Clucking) - Officer Lemmon!

Oh, I gotta go, I gotta go.

I'll call you later. Bye. Love you.

What?

For the tenth time, are you gonna tell me what charge you are holding me on?

I have information suggesting you might be involved

in the murder of one of our local boys.

Roy Wright. Ring a bell?

- Did I see it on television the other night? - Yeah.

He was dredged up a few days ago by one of our shrimp boats.

Yeah, that happened the day I arrived. How the hell am I supposed to have done that?

I don't know. That's what I'm gonna figure out.

(Phone rings)

Yeah, sheriff's office.

What? A shooting where?

The Legion Hall? OK, I'll be right there. Bye. I gotta...

(Laughing) Lovejoy! I got a... I got a 911!

I'm gonna have to try and get some back-up.

I'm gonna have to wake up Tommy Lee, and...

Are you gonna be all right? OK, bye.

- (Door slams) - (Engine starts)

(Vehicle pulls away)

- (Sighs) - (Police siren)

(Charlotte) We're an awfully long way from Lavenham, aren't we?

Charlotte!

- How the hell did you find me? - I went to that dreadful motel you stayed in.

They pointed me in the direction of Cedar Creek Plantation.

- I met a nice man in a chauffeur's hat... - Yeah, Anderson.

Would you get me out of this cell, Charlotte?

The keys are in that drawer. There under the filing cabinet. That's it.

He told me where to find you. Actually it was his idea how to get you out.

- He the one that made the call to Lemmon? - Obviously.

- Charlotte. - I must have a photo of you behind bars.

- Oh. - You look dreadful.

Freeze! Put your hands on your head!

(Dog growls)

- (Whines) - Go ahead.

Keep playin'.

- So, Rutherford found the Spanish wreck. - Mm-hm.

And he planted on it some choice items

that he had salvaged from other wrecks over the years

to prove that the colonists had been on that ship

but the choice items were all from different periods

which is what made me think that Mary-John might be up to the same sort of scam.

- But this dig that she's organized... - Mm-hm.

...it's a legitimate project. - That's where she's very clever, you see.

She's a sort of a patron of local heritage, right,

she donates a museum, and suddenly she's got a whole university at her disposal,

students, computers, the whole shebang.

But that doesn't necessarily mean that they'll find the Lost Colony.

It does if she comes up with the real thing.

- The stuff stolen from Wakering Hall. - Uh-huh.

- Well, why this family rivalry? - I don't know. What was it Beale said?

Beale said that it had been her father's obsession

and since he'd died, it had become Mary-John's.

- And obviously Rutherford's. - Mm.

- So, it's a family tradition. - Mm.

- Haven't you folks got no home to go to? - (Chuckles)

- Check, please, for the lady. - Yes, sir.

(Lovejoy sighs)

You know, Lovejoy, you have butkis.

- I have what? - It's an expression I picked up in New York.

- It means nada, zero, zilch. - (Chuckles)

- You have nothing you can prove. - Yeah, I know.

It's, uh... nice to see you, Charlotte.

Thank you for, uh...

I do rather care about you, you know, Lovejoy.

Do you? Ooh.

Let's go to my motel.

I took a king-size.

On the off-chance I'd find you.

Lovejoy?

You're dressed.

Well... mm.

Listen, Charlotte.

- I think I know where the Wakering stuff is. - Lovejoy.

- Hm? - We agreed last night we're going home.

We are.

It's on the way to the airport.

Come on.

(Tuts)

(Birdsong)

(Rattles door)

(Glass crunching)

Eugh!

(Clicking fingers)

Charlotte?

Charlotte?

(Lovejoy groans)

(Chiming)

- (Croaks) - (Squawks)

Howdy.

What's this, a family reunion?

Our daddy's will tore this family apart.

You brought us together again. We're indebted.

Hell, three into half a billion! Not too shabby.

Half a billion?

But to inherit, they have to find the Lost Colony.

Correct.

You see, Daddy reckoned he messed up with us kids.

I figure his idea was to make us make something of ourselves.

(Clears throat) Um...

Uh... what are you planning to do with us exactly?

- We'll probably end up in a shrimp net. - Accident at sea. Happens all the time.

We're not gonna shoot anybody.

People find a body with a bullet in it, they ask questions.

Uh, of course, if you accidentally fall into the swamp and an alligator gets you...

Yeah! Ha-ha!

...that's a mystery.

Now, don't y'all worry about them 'gators.

Bo here'll look after you.

Bo, you be back here for that press conference, you hear?

How's your knee, Bo?

You know, old Keech really gave you a kick in it the other night, didn't he?

Shut up.

Bo never made it to the pro's because of his knee.

Yes, Lovejoy was telling me your knee was injured in a ball game.

Which knee was it, Bo?

- It was the left one. - Who asked you, fat ass?

Ha. Keech beat Bo up the other night.

- No, he didn't. - He did.

- Surely not? - Yeah.

No!

- The hell he did. - He did.

No sweat.

(Chuckling) The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

I told all of you to just shut up!

- Bo? - Oh!

- Let's get out of here. - Lovejoy, get back here!

Very good, Charlotte!

Bye, guys!

(Engine off)

Aaah!

Uh! Aaah!

Aaah! Aaah!

Uh! Aaah!

Aaah! Aaah!

(Birdsong)

Oh! Oh!

Can't see a phone.

Charlotte...

they haven't even got electricity.

(Coughing)

It's smooth, huh?

(Charlotte gasping)

Well, there must be a road round here somewhere, Charlotte.

- Lovejoy. - What?

Get yourselves in here, boys. Think we've found ourselves a couple of ABC agents.

ABC?

Alcohol Beverage Control. They're moonshining.

(Chuckles) Hell, Ted, you puddin'-head. We know this fella.

He's the one who talked real funny in Millie's diner.

You're a long ways from Cedar Creek.

I told you to keep the lake on your left.

The left! Ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Left.

- Friends of yours? - I hope so.

I don't know how in hell you got in here with all our traps.

(Both) Traps?

Whoa! Whoa!

Hey! Whoa!

Oof!

What the hell?

Uh! Oof!

Bo?

I'd say you're as hog-tied as a porcupine up a peach tree. Old Suffolk expression.

You laugh now.

(Grunts) But I'm gonna get you, you funny-talkin' little horse's ass! Aaah!

(♪ Bluegrass on radio)

(Grunting and groaning)

(Grunting)

(Seagulls cry)

The 400-year-old mystery of the Lost Colony

brought these student volunteers to this remote spot near Frying Pan Landing.

Professor Beale, leader of this current probe, believes they've found strong evidence

that some of the settlers once made this their home.

What we've unearthed here is part of a palisaded village

with two long house structures inside it.

There's also evidence of a storehouse here probably used to harvest products.

We also found pottery fragments

and actually a cooking pot, an item similar to which has been found in previous settlements.

- Thank you, Professor Beale. - You're entirely welcome.

This is an exciting moment for Mary-John Lovejoy,

whose enthusiasm and support made this project possible.

Well, there's only one reason I did what I did,

and that is to honor the memory of our dear daddy.

When he passed on,

my brother Rutherford and I knew that this... this is exactly what he would've wanted.

- Mm. - Mm.

What excites my dear lovely sister and I the most is the discovery of two items

uh... which I do believe are, uh... of outstanding importance, one of which is...

A sailor's drinking cup made of pewter from the late 16th century!

There's also a pewter seal of the same period,

bearing an impression of the authority of the governor who's almost certainly John White.

How do you know that?

Because we have the documents of authentication for those items

which were stolen from Wakering Hall, England.

- What does this mean? - It doesn't invalidate your dig, Professor.

It simply means that the mystery of the Lost Colony is still a mystery.

- Well, it's unbelievable! - This is an outrage!

Sheriff!

Officer, officer!

Mr Rutherford,

- I think you been spinning me some yarns. - Lemmon, shut up.

No, no, no, no. I'm sorry, Mr. Rutherford.

But I just had a real interesting conversation with your little brother Bo,

and I'm arresting you for the murder of Roy Wright

and the both of you for the attempted murder of those two Britishers.

- Why... - Take 'em, Tommy Lee.

(Shouting)

Well, I'll be doggone.

Are you under arrest?

- Are you under state arrest? - Sorry, cousin.

What did you call me?

You are no cousin of ours.

(Shouting)

- Willie. - Lovejoy.

- Thank you. - I couldn't have done it without you.

- Officer Lemmon. - Lemmon, L-E-M-M-O-N.

I'd like to thank the local sheriff's department.

My wife Charlene. And all the members of the community that helped us here.

I'm sure these old things could tell us still a lot of stories.

I'm sure they could, but they've been away from home for far too long.

(Grunts) But I would like you to have these.

Why, they're beautiful.

(Lovejoy) Mm, mm.

They're copies, of course. Very good copies, though, aren't they?

Why, thank you. I... I shall tell Josiah about your gift.

Um... who's Josiah?

Distant relative.

Yes, you are a relative. He told me that. We had a very long talk.

Uh... excuse me. I came into this rather late.

Um... do I take it Josiah is dead?

She don't believe.

Don't point, Estelle. It's impolite.

But you oughta. You got the same gift as me.

You just use it in a different way, that's all.

(Charlotte) Well, Lovejoy, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.

(Lovejoy) Thank you, Charlotte.

- I mean, blood is thicker than water... - Charlotte.

...but with a family like that... - Charlotte, shut up, will you? Hm?

(Birdsong)

(Estelle) But you oughta. You got the same gift as me.

You just use it in a different way, that's all.

That's all.

(Rooster crows)

(Lord Wakering) It was Raleigh's.

He left it as a gift to Katherine Moresby,

saying it was proof that he would return some day.

(Sighs)

(Lord Wakering) A letter from Walter Raleigh to Lady Katherine.

Written in 1590.

After John White returned from the New World for the last time.

It's Sir Walter's theory on the fate of the Lost Colony.

He thought the settlers had simply abandoned the colony and captured a Spanish ship.

But why did Katherine hide it?

Because if it were to come out that the colonists, and they were Sir Walter's people,

had deserted the colony and become pirates,

he would've been disgraced.

- So she was protecting him? - It's possible.

English settlers turned pirate? Hardly an acceptable image.

Oh, well, nothing's changed then.

Hm? Sorry?

We girls still seem to be getting you boys out of trouble.

(Chuckles)

Anyway, it's nice to see you back in the house again, sir.

Yes, I'm back where I belong.

And so is this.

- (Crackling) - (Chiming)

I think that's Katherine's way of saying, "Thank you, Lovejoy."

(Chiming)

- (Whispers) You're welcome, Katherine. - (Bells chiming)

- (Barking) - (Bells chiming)

- (Barking) - (Bells chiming)