Original subtitles

He's here, Mr. McCauley.

Money makes you tall and handsome.

Remember that, Mark. Let's welcome our guest.

All right.

Ernie?

Oh. Ahem.

- What's up? - Uh, I've been looking for you, boss.

Uh, you need me for anything else?

No, not tonight.

Okay then. Well, see you tomorrow, yeah.

Ernie's a wreck.

- What's making him so jumpy? - Beats me.

His girlfriend's pretty and his bookie's paid up.

Maybe Ernie's been working too hard. Tag along with him, Mark.

- Relax him a little. - Yeah.

Thanks.

Hey, Ernie, relax, heh.

Scotch, rocks.

- Everything okay? - It's all right. Yeah.

- Why? - Oh, boss thought

you seemed kind of nervous.

Oh, it's the girlfriend. She wants to get married.

Heh, dump her.

Yeah, I will. I've been thinking about it.

But I'd miss her.

Heh, for about two minutes.

Look over there.

She hasn't taken her eyes off you since you came in.

You're kidding.

She's hot, Ernie. Why don't you ask her to dance?

Why not.

Thank you.

- Women. - Heh, yeah.

It's a good thing you didn't score. The boss just called.

- He wants to see us. - What's up?

You've worked for him long enough to know better than to ask that.

We'll find out when we get there. Come on.

- So where's McCauley? - Oh, he'll be here.

Can you believe that Mother Margaret is celebrating her silver jubilee

at the Holy Mother Convent?

Seems like only yesterday she was Steve's age, heh.

Morning, Frank. Morning, Marie.

God is smiling on me. - Oh?

Now what did you do to amuse him?

Heh, me? Nothing.

Except that I have been blessed with the most extraordinary luck.

Out of the blue, I received a call from the Brothers of St. Sebastian,

who told me, through an interpreter

that they are going to be touring the United States,

promoting their exquisite liqueur,

which they produce in their Abbey in Sardinia.

They have offered to present the one millionth bottle

of their highly medicinal liqueur

to Mother Margaret on the occasion of her silver jubilee.

That is the kind of publicity I pray for.

Oh, I know. I heard you. - Heh-heh.

I'm sure Mother Margaret will be happy to hear about that.

Not one word to Mother Margaret, Sister.

The brothers would like this to be a surprise.

Since you asked, Phil, I won't say anything,

but Mother Margaret is not very big on surprises, you know.

One time this cat I smuggled into the convent had kittens in her parlor.

- Heh. - She made me scrub floors for a month.

That's just the consequence of breaking the rules, Steve.

I know. She always cases me fair and square, you know.

When I was postulant I must have scrubbed 500 miles of linoleum.

Tsk. Ugh.

Bye.

- Thanks for everything. - Unh...

You tell Mother Margaret that I send her my best.

You have a wonderful time. - Thanks.

Bye. I'm gonna miss you guys.

Oh, I almost forgot. With all the excitement I forgot to eat breakfast.

There's always tomorrow.

Hey, Edward.

- How's it going? - It's cork, Steve.

Faster than light, and faster than sound,

and if you could have a transmitter big enough,

- you could talk to God. - That's a thought, Edward.

- See you later, all right? - Yeah.

Come in.

Mother Margaret, it's so good to see you.

Sister Stephanie, my blessing.

- Welcome home. - Thanks.

Sit.

I see that Edward is still sleeping in the garden.

Oh, of course, uh, the feeding and sheltering of Edward

is our daily act of charity.

You know, Mother Margaret, I've been talking to Edward

since I was a postulant.

I know he's very confused but he's really a sweetheart.

- You know and he's smart. - Well, Edward is not of sound mind.

But I have this feeling that he could be if we could just get him to a doctor.

Sister Stephanie, do not concern yourself with Edward.

He will always have a home with us.

But Mother Margaret, I think he could get better.

Heh, he's talking to the wall. The subject is closed.

You have a problem with obedience, Sister.

- But it's my fault. I have failed you. - No, no, no. You did your best.

It's me. I'm stubborn.

Well, that's what I heard.

I am grateful that Father Dowling is so tolerant of you.

If you weren't at St. Michael's I don't know where I would assign you.

I love St. Michaels, Mother. I really do. And I love Father Dowling too.

Well, good. Uh, that will be all, Sister.

- You may go. - Yes, Mother.

Oh, before you go.

Uh, we have a sister from California who's visiting.

I would appreciate it if you would show her around.

- Well, sure. I'd be happy to. - Ah, thank you.

Happy Silver Jubilee.

- May I help you? MARY: I'm Sister Mary Catherine

- from California. - Yes, we've been expecting you.

Thank you, Sister.

Thank you, Sister.

The convent's beautiful.

The grounds are so serene.

Wonderful trees.

You can see downtown from the top of the big oak.

The top? Sister, you climb trees?

Oh, yeah, I used to. You know, when I got homesick.

Could see my old neighborhood from up there.

What's your convent like?

Well, my mother house is in California, Pear Blossom,

which is right on the edge of the Mojave.

It's desolate, but it's beautiful.

No wonder you like trees.

- Are you assigned to Chicago? - No, I'll just be here for a few days.

I've been assigned to a Mission School in Appalachia.

Oh.

So I'm told that Sunday your Mother Superior celebrates her

- 25th jubilee? - Yeah.

Yeah, that's why I'm here.

Well, I'm glad that I'm able to participate.

Were you born in California?

No, no, I just went to school there.

I was born and raised in Philadelphia.

Hmm.

I know a family who lives in Philadelphia, name of Butler.

Father and son are undercover cops.

Do you know them?

Um...

No, I'm sorry, I don't.

Ahem.

Excuse me, Sister, it's been a very long day, heh.

- Will you excuse me, Sister? - Sure, absolutely.

Sister Mary Catherine?

Sister?

Look, I just want you to know that if you have any problems at all,

if there's anything that I can do for you, all you have to do is ask me.

- All right? - I don't know what you mean?

Okay.

I'll just see you around then.

Um,

keep your habit pulled over your ankles.

Thanks.

She wasn't a nun, Frank. She was a cop.

Could we step in here, please?

What are you talking about?

Okay, yesterday at dinner, I sat across from her. Right?

I dropped my fork. I went under the table to pick it up,

and I saw that she was wearing an ankle gun.

Well, did she identify herself as an officer?

Well, she practically said that she was a cop, Frank.

Maybe you didn't see what you thought you saw, Steve.

You mean, the gun? I saw the gun.

My men have gone over this room, and all they found is what you'd expect.

A change of clothes, a prayer book, a rosary,

and a plane ticket to Wheeling, West Virginia.

She was a nun, Steve, on her way to Appalachia.

No, she wasn't a nun, Clancy. I know what I saw. You've gotta believe me.

Sergeant, we found this knife next to a vagrant

- who was asleep in the garden. - Do you have him?

Yeah, right outside.

Give that to Forensics. Excuse me.

She was not a nun, Frank. She was a cop. She had a cop's gun.

I believe you, Steve.

- Father Dowling. Sister. - Mother.

Mother Margaret, I'm sorry to see you again

under these circumstances, especially during your jubilee week.

This has been a terrible shock, Father.

What kind of a depraved person would murder a sister in her sleep?

Mother, she wasn't a nun. She was...

That's Edward. I'm sorry. I've gotta go. I'm sorry.

Sister Stephanie!

- I must apologize for Sister Stephanie. - Oh, there's no need, Mother.

She hasn't done anything wrong.

Ah. Oh, you are very tolerant of her, Father.

Sister Stephanie believes rules were made to be broken.

She's a real test of patience.

- If you'll excuse me, Father? - Of course.

Clancy, believe me, you're making a mistake.

Clancy, Edward wouldn't hurt anybody. You've gotta let him go.

I'm sorry, Sister, the evidence is against him.

Frank. They don't understand.

Edward's been sleeping in the garden since I was a postulant.

He's gentle, Frank. He's harmless.

We'll test him for alcohol and drugs.

Let's go.

Sister, it's God's will. You must accept.

I'm going to say a rosary for Edward.

Edward didn't kill her, Frank. He wouldn't hurt anybody.

It's not in his nature.

Frank, Mother Margaret's never gonna forgive me.

Oh, of course she will, Steve.

She comes down hard on you because she cares about you.

That's her way of showing it.

As for Edward right now, I think he needs a friend.

- But I don't know how to help him. - I forgot to show her.

Well, you could go on down to the station.

Have a talk with him.

Find out if he remembers hearing or seeing anything.

That's a good idea.

I think I'll do that, Frank.

Frank?

I knew I saw this someplace.

I found this note in the victims' prayer book.

Now it must have held some significance for her,

and look there's a date on it. January 10th, 1990.

Well, what happened on January 10th?

I don't know.

But I think St. Michael's needs some sacramental wine.

This winery must be a mob operation, Frank.

Sam McCauley is mob from way back.

- Are you sure? - Everybody knows that.

I didn't know that.

Say, Penny, file this for me, huh?

Wait a minute, Frank. That's the guy I saw last night at the convent.

- I'm gonna go check him out. - Steve.

Can I help you father?

What can I do for you?

Oh, I'm Father Dowling from St. Michael's parish.

Sam McCauley. What can I do for you, Father?

Well, I, uh...

That is our church could, uh, use some sacramental wine, heh.

Well, you've come to the right place.

- Yeah, heh. - Heh.

- Who is it? - Charlie.

Come on in.

All right. Come on.

Hey, Charlie, I thought I told you to nail this thing shut.

I'm working on it, Mark. I've gotta get a handle.

Do that, Charlie. Then you take this limey snitch

and you dump him in the river.

Goodbye, Ernie.

Help yourself, Father.

Like everything else, choosing a wine for the mass

- is a matter of personal taste. - All this is sacramental wine?

The purest, and of course we have a fine selection of table wines.

- For your rectory. - Heh, I'm a tea drinker myself.

Oh, dear me, I must go.

- The O'Malleys will never forgive me. - O'Malleys?

I almost forgot the twins' baptism.

You've been a great help, Mr. McCauley. Excellent wine.

Lovely bouquet. I'll be back. Thanks again. Bye-bye.

He was dead, Frank.

A guy named Mark called him a limey snitch.

Steve, how could you take such a risk? Don't you ever do that again.

Yeah, but it was worth it. Look what I found out.

What's this Mark gonna do with a dead stitch?

- Snitch. - Snitch.

See that barrel, Frank?

That snitch is heading for the river.

I found this torn piece of paper in the murdered nun's cell.

And it was embossed with the logo from the McCauley Winery.

So, Steve and I went over there and while was snooping she around,

she saw a dead man stuffed in an empty wine cage.

Okay. Who was the victim and who killed him?

I think they called him Ernie, but that's all I know.

McCauley's Winery is, uh, a mob operation.

Whoever this guy was, they're not gonna let anyone find him.

Aren't you gonna do anything about it?

Look, we've raided McCauley's a dozen times

and never found anything.

If we do it again, we're facing a lawsuit.

I'm not going in again unless it's a dead bang winner.

Clancy, the last we saw of this guy, he was in a barrel headed for the river.

We could drag for a month and not find him.

If the stiff comes back, Frank, call me.

Right now, I'm up to my eyes in the Fontaine case,

and no, you can't help me, and it's none of your business.

I didn't say one word.

Good luck, Clancy.

Look, Clancy, about Edward,

- you can't believe he killed somebody. - Do you remember that serial killer

in San Francisco last year? The sweet little grandmother

who knitted mittens, and they found 16 bodies buried under her house.

We found the murder weapon next to Edward, we had to arrest him, Steve.

Clancy, Edward is innocent. I can feel it.

You're a nun, Steve. You can afford to have feelings.

I'm a cop. I go by the evidence. Let's go.

Marie, this is the best potato salad you ever made.

I used a new brand of mayonnaise.

Took a real big chance, but I thought to myself, well, what the heck.

- Go for it, heh. - Well, it was worth it.

Wait a minute.

- You didn't like it? - Oh, no, this is great, Marie.

It's... Frank, I was just thinking,

when I was at the winery, I saw a guy

carrying a plate of food to somebody in the back room.

Now I bet you anything they're hiding somebody back there.

That's probably why that snitch got killed.

- It certainly is a possibility. - Guess what?

We give up. Heh.

I just got confirmation from Tidings Magazine.

They're gonna cover Mother Margaret's silver jubilee,

featuring presentation by the Brothers of St. Sebastian's

one millionth bottle of liqueur.

Ha-ha-ha. I even arranged for an interpreter. Isn't this exciting?

Every Catholic in the country will see it.

What's wrong with the potato salad?

What do you mean what's wrong with it?

It tastes different.

That's the idea, Phil.

Where did Steve go? Steve!

Phil, would you give me a ride, please?

I'd be delighted, Father. I wasn't really hungry.

Well, I'm very relieved to hear that.

Where do these number fours go?

Hey, what the hell's the matter with you?

Those cases go over here. Move it!

How's that?

Thanks, Phil. You don't have to wait. I'll get a ride back.

Fine, Frank.

- Father Dowling? - Oh.

Mr. McCauley, heh. I was just looking for you.

Yes, I see.

The wine tasting room is this way.

Oh, I must have taken a wrong turn at the cabernet sauvignon.

Your winery is so vast and so interesting.

If, uh, if you have the time, I wouldn't mind a quick tour?

- I'd be delighted. This way, Father. - Hmm.

Well, this has all been very interesting.

Well, Father, I think you'll be happy with this one.

Oh, I'm sure, I will be.

Now...

How large of an order would you like to place?

Just one bottle.

- One bottle? - Hmm.

And could you send it C.O.D., please?

C.O.D.?

Well, I'm somewhat embarrassed. I don't have any cash on me.

Sister Stephanie's always trying to get me to carry a checkbook.

- I don't seem to be able to... - All right.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you a bottle.

- My compliments. - Oh, I couldn't accept that.

I insist.

McCauley here.

Now look, we've already discussed this,

and I'm going to do it my way.

That's it. No "buts". I'll be right over.

Well, Father...

Are you trying to give me a heart attack? This is mob territory.

I had to find out if my hunch was right, and it was.

They were keeping a guy in the room.

Yeah, and if you would have been caught they would have killed you.

Well, the room was empty, but I found something.

- Hair? - Hair.

Hair.

- McCauley's leaving, Frank. Hang on. - Oh, Steve.

- Frank, look. - Hmm?

Yeah.

- They know each other. - It seems that way.

But how do Mother Margaret and the Holy Mother Convent

figure into whatever scheme McCauley is trying to pull off?

I think you better be the one to ask her.

Come in.

- I hope I'm not interrupting you. - Ah, no, sister.

- Why aren't you wearing your habit? - Oh, it's a long story.

Mother Margaret, I wanna apologize for my disobedience.

Oh, so you came to be forgiven and you are,

if you will forgive me my bad humor.

Oh, your humor isn't any worse than it usually is.

- Heh-heh. - I mean, uh... Oh, boy.

You're forgiven.

Mother Margaret, I know that a man named McCauley came to see you.

How do you know this?

- I don't mean to pry, but... - Well, then stop, please.

It's just that I'm very concerned that you not get involved

with this man, Mother. You see, he's a criminal.

Father Dowling and I, we don't know for sure,

but we had this feeling that he had something to do with the murder

here in the Convent.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.

I just thought that you should know this was a bad guy

so you could stay away from him.

It's not as simple as that.

I've known for sometime that Sam McCauley

is involved in criminal activities.

I've asked him not to come here, but he insists.

He'll even be here for my silver jubilee.

Sister Margaret, why? Why don't you just tell him to get lost?

I can't.

Sam McCauley

is my brother.

What if the brothers can't find the convent?

I should have met them at the airport.

Mm-hm.

And I never contacted the interpreter.

You know, my Italian's fairly weak.

Good lord.

Frank, is there something in that paper

that's more important than this jubilee?

Joe Fontaine, the mob boss, he jumped bail.

The police have got a manhunt going for him.

Fontaine is dangerous.

What does that have to do with the jubilee?

Hopefully nothing.

I'm off. Wish me good luck, Father.

Good luck, Father.

Frank, sorry I'm late. I had a flat tire.

- We gotta go. - You changed it yourself?

Sure, no big deal. A little elbow grease. I am a mess.

I couldn't have done it.

Well, now it's done and we gotta go.

- Steve. - What?

This note I found in the victim's prayer book.

- Yeah. - It's dated 10 months ago.

Now who gave it to her, and why was it so important?

- I don't know, but we gotta hurry. - Well, wait a minute.

You said that Mark called Ernie a limey snitch?

Yeah, he did.

Well, if Sister Mary Catherine was a cop,

then Ernie must have been her snitch.

That's why he was killed and that's why she was killed.

You're right, Frank.

And it also means that Ernie was British,

and I've been reading this date all wrong.

The British put the day first and the month, second.

This date isn't January the 10th, it's October the 1st.

- That's today. - Yes.

And now I know why our lady cop went undercover at the convent.

- Why? - Because whatever is happening,

is happening today at the convent.

So now we really better hurry.

Oh, boy, the mass is starting.

Please join me in the celebration of this mass

to honor Mother Margaret on the occasion of her silver jubilee.

- Margaret, the body of Christ. - Amen.

And the blood of Christ.

May Almighty God bless us. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

- Amen. - This mass is ended now.

- We go in peace. - Thanks be to God.

- What are we looking for, Frank? - I'm not sure yet.

It's McCauley and Mark. Is that what we're looking for?

Maybe.

Excuse me, sir. This is still a chapel. Would you mind taking your hat off?

Steve, I know what's happening. Come on.

Hello.

Step away, to this side. Away, over here.

Get moving over there a little bit.

One of those monks is Joe Fontaine.

What?

Do you remember the hair you found in the winery?

- Yeah, weird. - Yeah, well, that hair was long.

It was shaved. It hadn't been cut.

And whoever McCauley was hiding in that room

had the crown of his head shaved.

And, uh, the fellow that bumped into me in the chapel.

- The guy with the hat. - Yes, he was wearing his hat

to cover up the fact that his head was shaved.

And if you remember he didn't speak English.

He was in a hurry to leave the convent before anyone discovered that

Joe Fontaine had taken his place. - You're right, Frank.

- It all fits together. - Yeah.

Four monks arrived here from Sardinia,

and four are going back, but one of them is Joe Fontaine.

- Phil, where are they going? - They have a plane to catch.

Frank, Joe Fontaine is leaving

and we don't even know which one he is.

Freeze!

Joe Fontaine, the only one who speaks English.

You're a dead man, Father.

Hold it, Fontaine!

Clancy, what is this?

The Feds informed us that Murphy was theirs.

Undercover. So we went from there.

Occasionally we do some good detective work of our own, Father.

Steve, you'll be glad to know

that Edward is on his way back to the convent.

Thanks.

Frank, what is all this?

Phil, you're about to make the papers in a big way.

You just go tell the press you'll give them the inside story

- in just a few minutes. - Right.

- What's the inside story? - Well, that's what I'm gonna give you

to give them.

It all started with four fake monks from Sardinia.

Excellent.

Mother Margaret, I'm sorry about your brother.

So am I. But God has melted harder hearts than Sam McCauley's,

and I will keep praying for him.

Goodbye, Mother.

I'll be right there, Frank.

Mother, is there anything that I can do for you?

Pray for me, Sister.

I do, every day.

I might have known.

I have many spiritual daughters who scrupulously follow the rules,

but none whose heart is as charitable and loving as yours.

Thank you, Mother.

My blessing.

- Come see me. - I will.

Bye.