Original subtitles

[seagull squawking]

[instrumental music]

[seagull squawking]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

[boat engine droning]

- Good morning, sir. - Good morning.

The CO's with Lieutenant Vincent now, sir.

- Right. Lead on, will you? - Aye aye, sir.

[wind whooshing]

- Hello, Jeff. - Hello.

More oxygen.

[hissing]

[hissing continues]

Well, he's still hanging on, but don't ask me how.

Phillips, this is the deputy director, naval research.

How do you do?

Is there any point in our waiting here?

No, not at the moment, if he shows any sign

of being able to speak, I'll send for you at once.

Right, then.

You wouldn't have eaten, Jeff, I'll have something

organized for you.

Thanks, but they gave me a bite

on the plane, coming up.

How about the torpedoman who was with Vincent?

Jackson? Not a trace.

He may have been blown to smithereens or he maybe

on the bottom of what's left of the submarine.

We'll have to wait for the diver's report.

- Did you get it on the tape? - Yes, not that it helps us.

(Jeff) 'Still, I should like to hear it.'

(Sinclair) Certainly.

(male #1) 'Target speed eight knots.'

(male #2) 'Eight knots, deflection angle'

'ten degrees left, sir.'

(male #1) 'Ten degrees left.'

- 'Alright, standby.' - 'Aye aye, sir.'

(male #2) 'We're coming onto our firing course.'

- 'Here we go.' - 'Fire!'

[explosion]

Well..

...that's the lot.

At least, we know one thing.

The torpedo left the submarine

before it exploded.

Could we have a word with Wharton?

Yes, of course.

- Wharton. - Sir?

Tell us about the trial, Wharton.

How was Vincent feeling about it?

I think he felt quite confident, sir.

Mm. I suppose there was never any question

of the explosive not having been stabilized?

He's been carrying out tests for over a year, sir.

The results are all here.

Thanks, I want to look at those.

If there's one man who knows about DPT, it's Vincent, sir.

I'm sure you won't find the error in his calculations.

It's much more likely to have been a faulty component.

You're a great admirer of Vincent, aren't you, Wharton?

I'm very proud to work with him, sir.

[knocking on door]

(Sinclair) 'Come in.'

It's all over, I'm afraid he's gone.

He was never able to speak a word.

(Sinclair) 'Alright, Wharton.'

Perhaps you'll have somebody put

his things together, would you?

Aye aye, sir.

I'm sorry, I'm afraid there was nothing we could do.

It was quite hopeless.

- Thanks, John. - Aye aye, sir.

Well, Jeff, what do we do now?

We've lost a good volunteer rating and our best scientist.

Do we carry on?

Oh, yes.

Weight for weight, DPT is ten times more powerful

than any other explosive we've got this side of the atom.

If we can make it work.

We put Wharton in Vincent's job then?

No, no, no, that's not possible.

We've got to have someone who knows

at least as much as Vincent, about DPT.

If not more.

Is there anyone who knows more

than Vincent did, Jeff?

No, I don't think there is.

Not in this country.

Then what do we do?

Do? How do I know what they'll do?

I know what they oughta do, send us all

on 14 days leave. Char's up.

We've only been here three weeks, Badge.

Well, that's long enough on this ruddy four by two rock

if you ask me.

They're going to need a bit of time

to get things sorted out after last night.

That's right, Haggis, what are they gonna do about

us in the meantime stuck out here

like a Swiss Family Robinson.

- Well, come and have it. - Oh, sorry.

Thanks very much, Badge.

It's alright for Haggis, he's not on foreign soil.

But I can do with a sniff of our London again.

Touch of the bright lights.

Where do you live, Sprog?

Me? Oh, nowhere, Badge.

Nowhere? Come off it. Everybody has to live somewhere.

- Where's your mum and dad live? - Nowhere.

- Eh? - Well, I haven't got none.

That's why I volunteered for this.

A kid like you. You want your brains tested.

Never volunteer, I've had that drilled

into me ever since I was a boy seaman.

Never volunteer for nothing.

But you volunteered for this, Badge.

Aye, he did that.

So, you don't have to take him too seriously, Sprog.

It's not the same thing at all.

I volunteered on compassionate grounds.

Purely private, personal and highly domestic.

Why being stuck out in this hole is just

one more black mark against Clelland.

Clelland? Who's that?

Somebody whose throat I'm gonna cut from ear to ear

if ever I meet up with him, and I mean that.

Now, stop scaring the children, Badge, and get me a cup of tea.

I don't see why you should draw six pence a day extra

for doing sweet Fanny Adams.

- Letter for you, Haggis. - How do you fancy it?

Tabled'hote or a la carte?

Trouble it is for poor ol' Jackson.

Well, we've got no forwarding address for him.

We best put them with the rest of his gear.

I packed his kit bag.

...that'll be his wife.

- 'Hey, Lofty.' - Yeah.

What you said I've been working it out.

Six pence a day for 365 days

comes to nine pound two and a tenner.

Eh, that's not much for a year's cookin', is it?

Three hundred and sixty five days?

Hope we're not going to stay here that long.

Badger reckons we may get 14 days out of this, Lofty.

Don't you believe it, son.

When things go right, perhaps.

But you never get leave in the navy when things go wrong.

And here something else has gone wrong.

Mr. Petty Officer Herbert.

Blimey, weasel face.

I'd like to know, if it's the same Herbert

they used to talk about in Malta.

The one they put on the beach cause underwater service

didn't seem to agree with him.

Alright, now pay attention on the mess deck.

- Turner. - Yeah?

Stand up.

Don't you try to be funny with me, Turner.

You maybe big but you are not big enough to beat me. Got it?

I'd like to ask you something, Petty Officer Herbert.

Well?

Was you ever in Malta?

I was. Why?

I thought so. That explains a lot.

Now, listen to me, Turner.

I know all about you too.

You didn't come in, yesterday.

You've had 14 years service

and look how far you've got?

And all because you can't stay out of trouble.

Well, I'm warning you, if it's trouble

you're looking for you'll get it.

Death or glory boys, you may be, but it doesn't mean

you don't have to knuckle down to proper discipline.

Alright now, pay attention to me, the lot of you.

Skipper's got something to say to you tomorrow morning.

What it's all about, I don't know.

And I don't wanna know, it's not my job.

I'm here to see you crowd behave yourselves.

Look clean on divisions

and report to present and correct.

And that means you'll have to turn out a lot smarter

than you did this morning, Sims, understand?

- Okay. - And don't say "okay," alright?

Okay.. I mean, righto.

Have you packed Jackson's personal belongings?

- I have it all ready. - Hmm.

Well, see they're down on the jetty

first thing in the morning.

- Aye aye. - Oh, Badger.

Yes, petty officer?

You're senior rating here, aren't you?

Yes, petty officer.

Then square your cap up.

See what I mean, Sprog?

Here we are miles from home, stuck out

on a flaming iceberg with the butcher of Belsen

for a petty officer.

The only feminine genders within striking distance

a bunch of ruddy sheep, and for why?

I'll tell you for why.

For going back on ratings regulations

section one paragraph one.

Never volunteer for nothing, got it, Sprog?

Never volunteer.

(Sinclair) '...and that's the reason'

'for my talking to you this morning.'

'In view of what's happened, we've decided'

'to give you the opportunity to volunteer again.'

You came here prepared to undertake hazardous duties.

You now know, exactly what that means.

(Sinclair) 'If any man wants to stand down no one's'

'gonna challenge him with lack of guts.'

Each man must decide for himself.

Alright, petty officer.

'Party, hup!'

All those willing to re-volunteer

'one pace forward, march.'

Thank you very much.

Alright, stand at ease.

(Sinclair) 'Now, are there any questions?'

Yes. sir.

Shore leave, sir.

- Shore leave? - 'Yes, sir.'

But there's nothing to go ashore for here.

Just the idea of being able to go somewhere, sir.

Now, you know as well as I do, Badger

no one's allowed to go to the mainland.

- 'For security reasons.' - Yes, sir.

- Thank you, sir. - Alright then.

We shall not be ready for the next trials immediately.

In the meantime we shall do our best to keep you interested.

Alright, carry on, petty officer.

Party, hup!

[seagull squawking]

Now, pay attention. You've all heard what's been said.

(Herbert) 'You're to be kept interested.'

'And that's what I'm here for.'

At 1100 hours, you report to stores.

(Herbert) 'Each man will draw himself a swab'

broom, Emery paper, wire scrubber and paint scraper.

Stand up, Badger, what's the matter with you?

When you get back to your mess deck, change for PT.

You got five minutes.

Party, right turn.

(Herbert) 'Do, march.'

Left-right, left-right left-right.

Left-right, left-right left-right.

(Sinclair) 'And it's up to you to put in for any'

'replacement components you need.'

So that we can go straight ahead with further

bench tests as soon as this man arrives.

I'm sorry if this is a disappointment to you, Wharton.

Oh, that's alright, sir.

May I know who's gonna take Vincent's place?

Yes.

Butch mentioned a man by the name of, uh..

...Bradville, do you know him?

No, sir, I can't say I do.

Apparently, he's been working on DPT as a surface charge.

That Bradville?

But he has nothing to do with us, sir.

Well, the Admiralty are gonna try and borrow him.

If they do, I know you'll give him all the help you can.

Yes, of course, sir.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

You oughta try a bit of that out on Herbert sometime, Haggis.

What for? Do you reckon Herbert's

a music lover or something?

Nah, might charm him. Same way they do snakes.

[chuckles]

Must say, I'm very partial to dropping music myself.

It's always my favorite party.

She could play the piano a treat.

Just tunes, you know, nothing classical.

But she had a beautiful touch, beautiful.

What was she like to look at, Badge?

Fat and forty?

She was not, she was small.

Fluffy, I suppose you'd call her.

And how she loved a good time.

Forever getting into her evening dress she was.

Morning, noon and night.

Loved a good laugh too.

Sometimes I think she only went out with me

'cause I made her laugh so much.

That's why I married you, Badge.

Huh. Get out of it, I'm serious, we was engaged.

I bought her a diamond ring the size of a walnut

and I paid the first installment on a semi-detached shore base.

(Badge) 'I was even getting out of the navy when the war ended.'

And then that basket Clelland dropped anchor.

What? Another Nacker?

A Yank.

A pair of nylons in one hand

a pack of cigarettes for her dad in the other

and I'm left up on the beach.

By the time, I get back from the med

she's joined the export drive

and go to the States as a war bride.

Well..

...it just goes to show, mate..

...never trust a girl with a beautiful touch.

I didn't get my ring back, neither.

All I got was a postcard.

On one side it had "Ta-ta, Charlie, thanks for everything"

and on the other, "God bless America"

and a picture of the Statue of Liberty.

Attention on the mess deck.

At ease, please, I thought you'd like to know

that tomorrow morning, we're expecting

some new arrivals from the mainland.

This means that we should be starting serious work again.

Well, we shan't be sorry about that.

I suppose not. It also means

and this came as a surprise to us

that you'll be having two new mess mates on this deck.

It'll be a bit of a squash but

I know you'll make the best of it.

- Any questions? - Yes, sir.

Any cooks amongst them, sir?

- Cooks? - Yes, sir.

No, Badger. No cooks, I'm afraid.

Thank you, sir.

Anything else?

Alright, carry on, please. Goodnight, everyone.

(all) Goodnight, sir.

Alright, first thing in the morning, Sims, Mackintosh

fix up another bunk in here.

Now get turned in all of you.

It's past time.

Would you believe it?

A lousy six pence a day extra

and more bleeding mouths for poor old Badger to feed.

You know, I think they might have allowed us

to finish this job ourselves.

Don't you, Wharton?

You better get down there, Layne.

They'll be alongside in a moment.

Hey, Lofty, Badge, here they come.

This party's a bit off course, isn't it?

Well, let's go.

Blimey.

We've been occupied.

My name's Bradville. Reporting here for duty.

How'd you do? Have a good trip?

- Fine, like a bird. - Good.

- See to these men, will you? - Aye aye, sir.

I better take you up to see the old man straight away.

Okay. See you fellows later.

Okay, lieutenant.

You look as though you've come for a long stay.

- That's right, mister. - The name's Herbert.

'Petty Officer Herbert.'

Okay, Petty Officer Herbert.

My name's Butch.

This here is Kaminsky.

Otherwise known as "Shorty."

Hiya.

Well, when you've got all your gear together

I'll show you your quarters.

Okay, thanks for the hitch, fellows. See you later.

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Lieutenant Bradville come aboard, sir.

Ah, Bradville, very glad to have you with us.

- Thank you, sir. - Come, sit down.

- Have a good trip? - Yes, sir.

Well, I suppose they put you in the picture before you left.

Well, they told me in Washington

that, uh, you've been trying to use DPT

underwater, same as we have.

Yes, and it won't behave itself.

I believe you've had better luck with it.

As a static charge, yes.

We've certainly got it under control

as far as surface mines are concerned

but we've only just turned over to underwater work.

I, uh, I understand you've a torpedo here

specially designed for the job.

That's right. Wharton will have to explain it to you.

He's our propulsion expert

and the chap you'll be working with.

I'm afraid I'm just a sailor, not a scientist.

Oh, well, then, uh, perhaps this is the moment

I should tell you, sir, that, uh, strictly speaking

I'm just a scientist, not a sailor.

Oh?

'As a matter of fact, I never'

even saw the sea' until '48

when the navy began to take an interest in DPT.

'I see.'

So if my drill

seems a bit unorthodox at times

I'm hoping you'll excuse me, commander, just the way

they do at home.

Oh, that's alright, Bradville.

How about your men?

'Oh, they're 100 percent navy.'

Couple of good boys.

They help me put the first DPT mine together

and they've been with me ever since.

Here's your mess deck, those are your bunks

these are your mates. Now, I'm told you're here on special duty

so you'll get your orders from your own officer.

But while you're on this deck

you're under my jurisdiction.

And if you don't know what that means

they'll tell you.

Carry on.

Say, which one of the British isles is this?

- Welcome to Sorrento, boys. - Is that what it's called?

Well, it's what we call it, when we have company.

Now let me introduce you.

- Badger, Sprog. - Hello.

Haggis and I'm Lofty.

This is Shorty, I'm Butch.

Pleased to meet you.

Carry on.

- See what I mean? - Yeah.

It's kinda cool around these parts.

We're ever so sorry, but the coalman forgot to call.

(Badge) 'Otherwise we'd have had the central heating'

'turned on for you.'

Now, turn it up, Badge. Stop taking the water.

You go and pop the kettle on, eh?

He don't mean nothing.

You could do with a cup of char, couldn't you?

- How's that? - A cup of tea, mate.

Remember what I told you, no matter what time it is

it's always time for a cup of tea.

Sure. Oh yeah, sure, thanks.

I, uh, I love tea.

- Wharton. - Yes?

I've brought Lieutenant Bradville.

Oh.

Thank you, Layne.

Glad to know you, lieutenant.

I understand you and I'll be working together.

That's right. Did you have a nice trip?

Fine, thanks.

This where we shake down, uh?

Yes. That's your bunk.

Good.

Oh, they tell me, you live pretty hard here.

Well, it's not soft.

Depends what you're used to.

I guess that's right too.

I'm glad we're going to be working together

on this, Wharton, the commander's been telling me

what a great job you've done here.

No, it was Vincent who did the great job.

I just helped him.

Well, maybe, but I'd certainly be glad

if you'd help me in the same way.

Well, of course.

That's what I'm here for.

Yeah, I know, but I..

Well, what I'm trying to say is

I'm-I'm hoping we can lick

this thing together.

Quite honestly, Bradville, I don't think

there's much left to lick.

'You will see what I mean when you've read Vincent's notes.'

I'll leave 'em here for you.

It's just bad luck that he isn't here

to finish the job himself.

[chuckles] Well, if I'm gonna be ready

'for you tomorrow, I better go across the land.'

Oh, those two men you brought with you?

Yes?

They won't be allowed to go

on the trials, you know.

We've got our own chaps for that.

See you later.

That's the lot, sir. Everything nice and comfy, sir?

What's that?

I said, everything nice and comfy, sir?

We've gotta make them nice

and comfy, you know, Curly.

Don't get dollar customers every day, do you?

Can't make no exceptions.

It's all laid down.

They'll get the regulations issues

same as what you get.

Incorruptible, isn't he?

We've met him before.

Long service on bad stations.

You boys have been to sea then?

Listen, mister, The United States Navy

has 1964 surface crafts.

And they're not sailed by Englishmen.

- That's a fact. - Now, no offense, mate.

A lot of us get stuck in dry dock, you know?

- Okay. - Here you are, lads.

These will tickle your ribs for you.

Sign there, will you?

- Here you are. - Now, Curly.

Just a minute, Turner.

We'll have your valuable autograph too.

What do you think I'm gonna do with this?

Flog it to the natives?

So long as I have your signature

you can do what you like with it.

Hey, you know who that guy reminds me of, Butch?

Who's that?

Remember Charlie Manlick in Manila?

Manlick?

That slopehead.

He'd give you a handful of rice

he'd count every grain first.

Yeah, talking of rice.

- Either of you two married? - No, sir.

- You, Butch? - Sort of, why?

I'll say he's married.

He's married to an English girl.

Now..

...was you ever in Southampton, Butch?

- Southampton, England? - Yeah.

Sure, during the war in the Normandy shuttle.

Now don't tell me, your wife, she's short

fluffy, plays the piano with both hands

and her name's Doris, right?

Right.

Blimey.

Who's your friend?

Doctor I.Q.?

Haggis. Where's Badge?

- He's off to get the rations. - Good.

Here, do you remember Clelland?

- Clelland? - You mean Badge's Clelland?

- Yeah. - Hey, Lofty.

This is him. This is Clelland.

- No! - What's the panic?

What you think we ought to do about it, Haggis?

Well, we'd best keep it quiet from Badger.

Keep what quiet from Badger?

- That you're Clelland. - Hey, wait a minute.

Will you guys quit talkin' in riddles?

So he's Badger, I'm Clelland.

What's so wrong about that?

You stole his girl, didn't you?

- Stole his girl? - Doris!

He's gonna tear your guts out when he knows who you are.

Hey, wait a minute.

Don't tell me that Badger is a guy called Charlie

who used to write all those stupid letters.

Why, it used to make her laugh.

Well, that's what he told us.

They was engaged, matey.

Engaged? That's not what she told me.

He didn't even get to first base with her.

You shouldn't try and tell him that.

Sure, I'll tell him. I ain't got nothing to hide.

Wait a minute, Butch. We don't wanna start no trouble here.

I'm only warning you, if you wanna stick your neck out--

Hey, wait a minute, what are you trying to give--

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, this ain't no "Helen of Troy," kid.

- Let's not start another war-- - 'Now, quiet a moment!'

Look, I'm telling you she wasn't his girl.

Of course, she was his girl.

[indistinct shouting]

Quiet!

Now, look

instead of squabbling like a bunch of kids

supposing we try and get this thing sorted out.

See, here, Butch. It's maybe none of our business.

But I'm thinking for the sake of peace and quiet we best forget

your name's Clelland and keep off this subject.

You're darn right, jock. Now, look, Butch, it happened

seven years ago, she's 7000 miles away.

We gotta work together on this rock.

So let's drop the whole thing, huh?

That's okay by me. I'm not starting anythin'.

Come on, let's make up our bunks.

(Lofty) 'Get me some water, will you, Sprog?'

[Lofty whistling]

[whistling]

Now I come to think of it.

This has got its funny side, you know.

Poor old Badge.

But you can't help laughing, can you?

[laughing]

Dear.

Ta-da!

Come on, fellas. Dig out.

Who's gonna help Uncle Badge peel the spuds?

[laughing]

- Very funny? - Yes, mate. Very funny.

[laughing]

See what I mean?

[Lofty laughing]

Here we are then. All dig in.

One for you, and you, and you.

"Share and share alike," that's my motto. Ain't it, Lofty?

[laughing]

What is the matter with you, it's not as funny

as all that, is it?

[continues laughing]

Is it?

Is it?

[all laughing]

[clears throat]

Good morning.

Morning.

Tea or coffee, sir?

Uh, coffee.

Ever had any of our bangers before?

- Bangers? - The sausages.

Oh, uh, no, I haven't. Are they something special?

They are, rather.

See what I mean?

(Herbert) 'Arms bend. Arms stretch.'

Right, on the feet up.

One, two, and stand still there.

Alright, now, beat the stride jumping.

Arms raising sideways together.

'Commence. One, two. One, two.'

'One, two. One, two.'

'One, two. One, two.'

Fall in.

'Stay.'

'Hips up.'

'Heels raising, knees bending'

'Commence. Heels raise.'

'Bend!'

'Stretch.'

'Bend! Stretch.'

'Keep your eyes to the front, Badger.'

Never mind, who's looking at you.

'You're not shy, are you?'

'Bend! Stretch.'

'Bend! Stretch.'

Party, steady. Alright, now, running on the spot.

Commence. Left, right. Left, right. Left, right.

Come on, now, Badger. Get 'em up there.

And you, Sims, you're more like a bunch of chorus girls.

'Left, right. Left, right. Left, right.'

'Left, right. Left, right. Left, right.'

Well, there she is.

Tom's Tiddler, Mark 2.

Pleased to meet you, ma'am. I hope we're gonna be friends.

As soon as you're happy about that warhead, Bradville

she's ready to go.

- All my tests are finished. - Oh, I see.

I've got all the figures there if you'd like to see them.

Fine, thanks.

Unless you'd like to see her running on the bench first.

Uh, no, I don't think so. At least, not yet.

Well, then...what would you like to do?

Well, I hate to break your heart, Wharton

but I guess our first job is to strip her right down again.

- Strip her right down again? - That's right.

But all my tests are finished.

Yes, I know, but I still have to check for myself.

I've been testing propulsion units

for quite a few years, you know, Bradville.

That's just the point. I haven't.

But I do know something about DPT.

Sooner or later, we're gonna have to fix a warhead on this

and when we do, I've gotta satisfy myself

that everything's going to behave alright.

You mean, you won't take our word for it. Is that it?

Now, wait a minute, lemme ask you a question instead.

That torpedo exploded within three seconds

of leaving the tube, right?

- Yes. - Why?

Well, you've read Vincent's notes.

Six times. I can't find any fault with them.

And I'm still asking, why?

- Well, if Vincent was right-- - On paper.

Alright, on paper.

But isn't it more likely to have been something

outside his control?

A metal flaw, say, or a fractured fuel pipe?

Something that could happen inside any torpedo.

A million to one chance, yes, it could have been.

And here's another million to one chance.

It could have been something you or Vincent missed

when you were testing.

Now, wait a minute, Wharton, don't get me wrong.

Maybe I'm no diplomat, but as I see it

the next this tiddler goes out on trial

it'll be of my responsibility.

If anything goes wrong, it'll be because

of something I've missed.

That's why we've got to start from the beginning.

Okay?

- 'Hey, fellas.' - Just a minute, Bradville.

We've got our own men for this work.

I appreciate that and they obviously know their job.

But, then what's the point?

Oh, your British Admiralty

gave me permission to bring these men

here because they're used to DPT

they're used to me and, well, we're a team.

That's why I asked for them.

Certainly not to squeeze your boys out.

- I see. - Look, Wharton.

The success of this project depends just as much

on what you could teach me as what I can teach you.

(Bradville) 'Alright, fellas.'

Lieutenant Wharton, Second Class Torpedomen

Kaminsky and Clelland.

- Hello, sir. - Good morning.

Come on, over, boys, and have a look at this midget.

The British designed it specially for use

with our old pal DPT.

The Lieutenant here knows all the gimmicks.

By the time he's through with this

we're gonna know them too.

'We've got to know how every part behaves'

'under any set of conditions.'

When we do, she'll be ready for the warhead.

Lieutenant, it's all yours.

Well, I suppose we better begin

by, uh, stripping her right down.

'Right, if you'll find some body spanners'

'on the bench over there.'

'You get to work on the fore part and you start'

'stripping down the tail.'

'Yes, sir.'

[instrumental music]

Let's have a squint, babe.

This is going to take us off the unemployed list.

Yes, just getting used to my afternoon nap too.

Don't know about you, Lofty, but

seeing one of those things makes me feel funny inside.

Specially, when I think of old Jackson.

Don't worry, son.

I'd sooner have a quick death in one of them

than a long lingerin' one under Mr. Petty Officer Herbert.

[rumbling]

Come on, Sprog, your turn, get in.

I'll tell you something.

Either this boat's a lot smaller than the last one

or I'm growin' up.

Fire.

Torpedo fire, sir.

Deflection setting a bit slow, Mackintosh.

Aye, we can do better than that, sir.

Alright, lets try again, shall we?

Aye aye, sir.

Target in sight.

Bearing green 3-0.

Green 3-0.

'Alright, let her go.'

[whirring]

Faster.

[whirring]

Come on in, find a place to park yourselves and relax. Hi.

'Hey, Badger.'

I just want you to know that the ratio

of noxious gases to heat coming out of that stove

is darn near lethal.

Lethal? It's worse than that, sir.

It's deadly.

It's like living in the gasworks.

You come from a hardy race, Badger.

Thank you, sir.

Now, what I want to tell you men is this.

Lieutenant Wharton and I have been talking

over the results of our tests.

We've come to the conclusion that

the first stage of the job is over.

- Cigar, lieutenant? - 'Yeah, thanks.'

- What comes next? - Hmm.

Before I tell you, let's have a little drink.

'Or is that against navy regulations?'

Ooh, I reckon we can overlook it this time.

Couldn't we, Butch?

Yeah, I reckon.

[Badge coughing]

Get's right down your throat, doesn't it?

Dries you right up.

You could use a drop of this, Badger

for purely medicinal purposes.

Thank you, sir. Good luck, sir.

Well, to get back to the job

we're all set to load up a warhead

and get it fixed on.

Thank you, sir. Goodnight, sir.

Goodnight, Badger. So, Kaminsky, first thing

in the morning you report to Lieutenant Wharton and Clelland

you'll help me charge the warhead with DPT.

What is it, Badger?

Nothing, sir. Goodnight, sir.

Goodnight.

You got that, Clelland.

Clelland.

[instrumental music]

Take it easy. It's blacker than the ace of spades in here.

Yeah.

- Jeez, what is this? - Which one of you is Clelland?

Get that thing out of my eyes, will you?

- Who is that? - It's me Badger.

Come on, which one of you is Clelland?

Uh-oh!

Here I am, sailor, what's on your mind?

Just a case of daylight robbery, that's all.

Yeah, let's get some sleep, will you?

Ever seen her before?

I should've, I married her.

So it was you, was it?

The one and only Clelland.

Caught up with you at last, eh?

Look, we're not gonna get--

I'm not wanting to get anywhere

with you, Clelland, you smell too strong.

- What the heck's going on? - 'Will you wait a minute.'

'This is settlin' day, Clelland.'

'Leased land's over and done with.'

And the all mighty dollar is not gonna help you this trip.

If you just quit squawking for a minute--

I oughta slug you.

You had to wait till I went to sea before you

come crawlin' out from under your stone, didn't you?

Hey, I'm warning you, lay off before I flatten ya.

You Yanks is all the same.

A lot of dirty yellow, thievin', sneakin'--

No limey is gonna talk like that to me and get away with it.

- Clelland, stop. Take it easy, - It's alright, I'm gonna take..

- Get out of the way, will ya? - Calm down.

Oh!

Now, look, Badger.

Get out of it.

[grunts]

[both grunting]

(Badge) I'm gonna kill you, Clelland.

- Come on, lads, get up. - Hang on.

'Let me go, I'll kill him!'

- Let me go. - Hey!

Are you crazy?

[clamoring]

(Herbert) 'Let me go!'

Oh.

Now, what's all this about?

Fighting on the mess deck, eh?

And our American cousins too. What's the matter?

International relations getting a bit strained, are they?

I thought I should find you in it, Turner.

You can't keep out of nothing can you?

Well, what's the trouble this time, eh?

He hasn't got anything to do with it.

You speak when you're spoken to.

Come on, Turner, I'm waiting.

I've got nothing to say, Petty Officer Herbert.

You wanna be up with your cap off in the morning?

Half a minute, if you wanna know exactly what happened--

(Herbert) 'Shut up.'

You won't learn much, PO, unless you listen

to someone who's prepared to talk.

Ah, so you're coming out of your shell now, are you, Mackintosh?

Perhaps, you can throw a little light

on the subject then.

Aye, maybe, I could.

But this is a private matter. It belongs to the mess deck.

And I think if I were you, Petty Officer

I'd leave it to be settled here.

Alright, but just watch out, that's all.

I'm warning you for the last time, the whole lot of ya.

Now, go on.

Get back to your bunks.

[sniffing]

The next time you won't get away with it.

[whispers] Clelland.

Don't think I finished with you yet.

[whispers] ''Cause I haven't.'

Clelland, do you hear me?

Ah, shut up, Badge.

'You'll feel better in the morning, mate.'

Goodnight, Butch.

Goodnight.

[seagulls squawking]

Now slip the prop back

check all the gauges.

- How is it? - She's all set, sir.

- Gauges all reading zero, sir. - Good.

- Wharton, ready to go. - Oh, righto.

If you'll go across to the control room

I'll fix up the microphone.

Oh, yeah, and we better check that too

before we start 'er up.

Alright, fellas, let's get going.

[whirring]

Call Commander Sinclair, we're waiting for him now

will you please?

Thank you.

All correct, Bradville.

'Can you hear me, alright?'

[water gushing]

Righto. Here I come.

Ooh, righto, here he comes.

This is it, old chap, pip-pip.

And I say the commander's willing

to bang on, jolly good show.

Quit clowning and open that door.

Yes, sir, jolly good show, sir.

- Morning. - Good morning, sir.

- All set, Bradville? - Yes, sir.

Jolly good show.

- 'Standby for test run.' - 'Ready for test run.'

[siren blaring]

We'll start the run at very slow revs

then gradually increase.

[droning]

[whirring]

[whirring continues]

[water gushing]

[whirring intensifies]

[whirring stops]

Let's go have a look.

- Stand by, you two. - Lead us there, Bradville.

Yes, sir.

[whirring]

Okay, switch off.

Well, how do you feel about it now?

- It's a perfect run, sir. - Good.

Can you give me a date for trial, Bradville?

- No, sir. - You're not ready?

I can't say I am just yet, sir.

Oh, but what else can we do out of the water?

Well, for one thing, I think we better

recheck all Vincent's figures against our own.

For another I'd like you to run her some more, Wharton.

Then strip her down again, she how she's takin' it.

You two fellas get some chow and report back here afterwards.

'No, sir, I'm afraid I can't give you a date just yet.'

What's worrying you, Bradville?

Well, if you wanna know, commander

it's this run we've just had.

But there was nothing wrong. It was bang on.

Yeah.

That's what worries me.

Hey, what he mean by that?

I don't get it.

Well, I just wish he'd make up his mind, that's all.

You know what, Shorty, it was like I was telling you.

We picked the wrong place for a vacation this year.

I don't like the accommodation, I don't like the climate

I don't like the customs of the natives.

Well, we ain't gonna get any refund, buddy

so come on and feed.

And I hate the food.

Come on.

Hey you. Sims.

- Yes, PO? - Come here.

That trouble last night, who started it?

It was Turner, wasn't it?

- No. - No?

Well, who was it?

I'm not saying.

Uh, so you've joined the rest

of them have you, Sims?

Alright, I sure know how to deal with you.

Go on, off here.

- Hello, Brad. - Hi.

- Everything goin' smoothly? - Smooth enough.

How are things with you?

Our chaps are ready whenever you are.

Good.

Is, tha-that the sub they're gonna use in the trials?

That's right.

You know, you could be a big help to me.

- Honestly, could I? - Yes.

How?

Well, they made me pass my navigation

but I never got around to taking one of those out.

Oh, that's easy enough if that's all you want.

Well, uh, that's all I want to start with.

Private, where's our head cook and bottle washer?

Out in the gully, Lofty, he won't come in.

- What's up now with him? - These Yanks.

He says he won't sit down at the same table.

Like a flippin' film star, isn't he?

Oh, he's like child instead of a grown man.

Well, believe it or not, fellas, at last I got me an appetite.

Well, you picked the right day for it, Shorty.

Got a surprise for you.

Corn beef hash.

- Where's Butch? - Well, he's around.

Well, isn't he comin' in for his grub?

Guess not, he don't want any.

Don't say he's acting temperamental as well.

Oh, Badge's playin' it that way too, huh?

Well, they say time's a great healer.

They'll get over it. After you, Sprog.

How much this guy Badger's got to beef about?

Y'all learn the meaning of the word gratitude.

Yeah, come off it, Shorty.

What's Badge gotta be grateful for?

- 'Did you ever meet Doris?' - No.

Well, I did and I'm here to tell you, she is chers.

No kiddin', man. She is chers.

[imitates goat bleating]

You mean, she was smashin' to look at?

Hey, pipe down, Sprog. Go on, Shorty.

Well, get this, here's a dame that hasn't been tied

in the bonds of holy matrimony more than five minutes

and she's got the best man in the front parlor

tryin' to get him to untie the knots.

- 'No.' - Yeah, and I was the best man.

Do you mean she doesn't love Butch?

Love him? Sure she loves him, Butch is a man, ain't he?

And Doris loves men. There's only one thing

she loves better than men, that's money.

'Cause with money she can buy scotch.

Doris loves scotch.

Man when she is loaded with scotch

she's the greatest lover of all time.

Believe me, that guy Badger don't know what he's missin'.

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

(male #1) 'Well, that's game and rob. First rob to us.'

Come on, partner, let's pull our socks up.

- Whose cards? - Mine.

- Put me down, partner. - 12.50, down.

Better get off this island pretty soon

you chaps'll have the shirt off my back.

When are these confounded trials gonna take place?

No idea but I am quite as impatient as you are.

I'm hoping to get back to sea after this job.

We're still waiting on the back room boy.

How 'bout it, Roger?

Well, don't ask me, the last ten days

I've done nothing but strip down what I've just assembled

and then assemble what I've just stripped down.

I don't know what he's waiting for.

What's happened to all this.. What do they call it?

"Yankee know-how?"

As far as I can make out, Hardy spends most of his time

trying to something wrong with Vincent's figures.

Of course he never does.

Aren't you with him a lot, Babe?

Rather he's terrifically keen.

I've never known a chap with such a passion for Zed boats.

(male #2) 'What the devil he's so interested in?'

Everything, sir. The whole works.

From bow to stern.

We've even been runnin' through file orders.

(male #3) 'Sounds a very thorough type.'

- 'One heart.' - 'That's all very well.'

I'd like to know what he's gotta do with DPT. No bid.

- Sorry, doc. No. - No bid.

Well, I suppose we better have the cards

on the table then, partner.

Hi, Wharton, well, I've got good news for you.

Really?

Yes, we're ready for the trials.

- I'm glad to hear it. - I thought you'd be.

I can't say I found what I've been lookin' for

but on the other hand I found nothing to justify

holding up any longer.

I see.

As a matter of fact, Bradville, I've come across

to have a word with you.

Okay.

I hear you've been putting a lot of time

with Babe Stelling on the Zed boat.

- Yes. - Why?

Well, isn't that where the button's pressed?

Is that why you've been learning how to give file orders?

Oh, so, you've been checking up on me.

No. But I would like to know what's in the back of your mind.

I should've thought that was obvious.

When the next torpedo's fired

I figured to be sitting behind that periscope.

Has Sinclair agreed to this?

I haven't discussed it with him yet.

Then let me tell you he never will.

No?

You really are determined to make this an all-American party

aren't you, Bradville?

'Well, don't think it's any surprise to me.'

It doesn't matter a tinker's cuss to you that our chaps have

been sweating their guts out for the last two years, does it?

Or that Vincent was blown to bits

when he was practically home?

Act your age, Wharton.

Well, what contribution have you made?

Just tell me.

What have you told us about DPT

that we didn't already know?

- Nothing. - That's it. Nothing.

That torpedo is still Vincent's as much as it ever was.

You haven't made a single modification to it.

And if you're coolly proposing to cash in on his work

and grab all the credit for yourself.

So that's it.

That's what's been biting your guts out all this time.

And here I've been fooling myself into thinking

this was a problem we were gonna lick together.

- "Together?" - Yes, together.

But you've never given our fellas a chance.

Listen, Wharton, I'm just a scientist

not a flag-waving fanatic.

I've looked on this as another job to be done.

I can see now that to you it's always been a matter

of national prestige.

Oh, you're dead right. I haven't contributed anything.

I can't say right now, that what happened last time

won't happen again.

But until I can, you can take a running jump

because I'll be taking the risks myself

the same as Vincent did.

And we'll see what Sinclair has to say about that.

You want the trial, Bradville, although, you're saying

that the element of risk, is no less than it was last time?

That's right, sir.

You're convinced it's a justifiable risk?

I am, sir. To this extent.

Either this project stops, or it goes ahead

there's nothing further we can do out of the water.

That's good enough. We go ahead.

Fine.

I, uh, take it there'll be no objection to my taking

the boat out on trial myself, sir?

(Sinclair) You, Bradville?

That's right of the question.

My instructions on that point are quite categorical

you can read them yourself if you like.

But in view of the risks involved, sir--

'I am afraid that's our responsibility.'

Our men here have volunteered for the expressed purpose

of taking justifiable risks.

It wouldn't be very clever, if we lost you

the same way we lost Vincent, would it?

'And that goes for you too, Wharton.'

That's all, gentleman. I'm gonna arrange for trials immediately.

- 'One, two..' - 'Roll that right.'

- 'No point.' - 'No, no, not like that.'

They'll never roll for you, that way

you gotta talk to 'em, like this.

Little eighter from Decatur. Little Joe from Kokomo.

Come on, baby, we need new shoes.

See what I mean? Natural. That's exactly what I mean.

- Fifteen shillings, you owe me. - Alright, then.

Two more throws. Then I'll teach you Crown and Anchor.

- Crown and Anchor? - Okay, get on that, baby.

Come on, let's go.

[instrumental music]

You always play that tune, Haggis.

What's it called?

"Come Back To Sorrento."

Ah, it's smashing.

I don't know why, but it makes me feel sad though.

Is Sorrento a place, Haggis?

It's an island in the Mediterranean.

Belongs to the I-ties.

I'm going there someday, Sprog.

- You are? - Aye.

When I'm finished with the navy.

Just to lie on my back, and get warm in the sunshine

and forget.

It's good to forget sometimes, Sprog.

Do you play the bagpipes too?

Oh, no. I hate them.

[scoffs] And you a Scotchmen.

Now, listen, Sprog.

It's Scot or Scotsman.

- Scotch is the stuff you drink. - Sorry.

And here's a trade secret.

Lot's of Jogs hate the bagpipes.

We just don't admit it to the Sassenach, see?

What's a, what's a Sassenach?

Sprog, a Sassenach is anyone from south of the border.

- Oh, Mexican. - No, Sprog.

South of the Scottish border.

- I mean Englishmen. - Oh, I get you.

Ah, I wish I could play something, Haggis.

Even a bagpipe.

I've always wanted to.

[indistinct chatter in distance]

Will this be any good to you, Sprog?

[inhales air deeply] Can I play it?

Oh, you can have it. I never use it.

- Do you mean it, Haggis? - Of course, I do.

Who would learn me?

Well, there's nothing to it, man.

You can teach yourself.

Thanks, Haggis.

Thanks very much.

- There you are, Butch. - Thank you.

Alright, pay attention.

- Where's Badger? - In the galley.

- Get him. - Alright.

- Hey, Lane, have you heard? - What?

I'm taking the Zed boat out on the trial.

- You're not. - Yes, it's terrific!

- But how about Wharton? - They won't let him go.

Can't stop now. See you later.

There's gonna be a fresh trial tomorrow.

You'll draw lots as usual, to decide who's going.

Whoever it is, will report to Lt. Sterling

immediately afterwards. Got it?

Right. Carry on.

Well, come on then. Who wants to be an X-mas turkey?

Put a piece of writing paper and pencil, someone.

- Yes, some here, Lofty. - Tell us, Shorty.

Afraid we can't cut you two in on this.

But you can help us pass the hat around.

Now, what's Bertie gonna get?

We're having the draw now, Badger, are you coming in?

You don't need me.

If there's one left over, it's mine.

Oh, you've carried this thing quite far enough, Badger.

You're making a fool of yourself.

It's alright you talking, Haggis.

You wouldn't understand what I've suffered.

No. I might follow that.

Be a fine waddle if we all went around

wearing our hearts on our sleeves, wouldn't it?

I don't care what you say.

I still got a bit of pride left.

There's nothing wrong with these two fellas, Badger

and you know it.

It's about time you stop giving this performance

and faced up to the fact that Doris isn't the girl

you thought she was.

- Who says she isn't? - I say she isn't.

And as a matter of fact, I think you've known she isn't

for quite a long time too.

(male #4) 'Haggis, fast, come on, we're waiting.'

Come on, Badge, forget all about it.

- He's just coming. - And about time too.

Alright then, take your choice and try your luck.

The paper mark with a cross

wins a free trip around the bay and back.

Here you are, Sprog.

[knock on door]

'Come in.'

Ah, Mackintosh.

- So, you're the lucky man? - Yes, sir.

Good. I was rather hoping it'll be you.

- Thank you, sir. - Well, here we are.

I just wanted to put you in the picture.

It'll take about four hours to reach the trial ground.

Control and target ships steaming up over night..

...and we rendezvous with them, here..

[instrumental music]

[seagulls squawking]

[horn wailing]

[foghorn blaring]

Target coming on course now, sir.

Thank you, yeoman.

(man on radio) 'Hello, control. Target calling.'

'On course, now.'

'Speed seven knots.'

Hello, target. This is control.

'Maintain your course and speed exercise commencing, off.'

Hello, Nero, control calling.

Target on course.

Act independently and carry out exercise as ordered. Over.

(man on radio) 'Hello, control, this is Nero. Roger.'

'Switch on recorder.'

[machine beeping]

(man on radio) 'Hello, control.'

'This is Nero.'

'Diving now. Out.'

Firing station, Mackintosh.

Aye aye, sir.

Are your settings on?

(Haggis) '45 knots.'

'Range 2000.'

Isn't that our target, the old Northern Star?

That's her.

'It was either this or the breaker's yard.'

I brought her into Dover three times.

She's had some narrow squeaks.

Well, she's going up this time.

Targeting site.

Bearing...green 2-5.

(Haggis) 'Green 2-5.'

(man on radio) Target course. 3-4-0.

Course 3-4-0.

Target speed..

...seven knots.

Seven knots.

Reflection..

'...ten left.'

Ten left.

They're coming on to our firing course.

Stand by.

Ready, sir.

(man on radio) 'Sights coming on.'

Fire!

[explosion]

Full ahead, both engines.

[dramatic music]

[whistling]

Stand by to pick up survivors.

Hello, Nero, this is control.

Hello, Nero, this is control.

Report my signals, report my signals.

Over.

(male #6) 'Man the boat.'

[dramatic music]

(male #7) 'Lower away.'

'Alright, give way, starboard.'

'Three together.'

(voice on recorder) 'Hello, Nero, this is control.'

'Hello, Nero, this is control.'

[creaking]

(male #6) 'Oars.'

[wind howling]

(male #7) 'Let her go.'

[instrumental music]

[wind howling]

Captain, sir.

Shall I get along to the mess deck?

Yes, carry on, please.

- Come along with me also. - Aye aye, sir.

[man laughing]

[indistinct chattering]

Attention, mess deck.

At ease, please.

I'm sorry to say, I have bad news for you.

'The trial has been a failure.'

'Lt. Sterling and your messmate Mackintosh'

'have been lost.'

'There's not a lot I can say.'

'We shall miss them both very much.'

Mess deck.

Oh, I've forgotten.

Mackintosh left this letter with me.

It's addressed to all of you.

Carry on.

Well it...sure is tough.

'He was heck of a nice guy.'

(Badge) 'Yeah, he sure was.'

Go on, Badge, you're senior.

I'd rather you, Lofty.

[howling continues]

Bradville.

Yes?

I don't know quiet how to say this

but I...know I owe you an apology.

Skip it.

No, I don't want to skip it, Brad.

I'm going to say it.

I've been stupid and behaved like an idiot.

A shortsighted, obstinate idiot.

'I was so certain Vincent was right.'

If it's any consolation to you I..

...don't feel too clever myself.

Vincent missed something.

We missed it too.

Right now, there's a couple of guys

lying out there at the bottom of the sea.

"This is one of those letters..

"...you hope is never going to be read.

'"But in case it is..'

'"...would one of you be a pal..'

'"...and see to the following.'

"The black tin box

"at the bottom of my kit bag

"is to go to Andrew Mackintosh..

"...care of Mrs. Moffat..

"...Kidilockry, five.

'"That's my kid.'

'"Incidentally.'

'"He lives with his grandparents.'

'"It's only some photographs'

'"and letters of his mother'

'"who died having him.'

'"I want him to have some..'

'"...remembrance of her.'

"Also, would you write a note to my mother?

"Just put what happened

"in a way she can understand

"without...upsetting

"the admiralty.

"That's the lot really and thanks.

"Sprog, you keep on with your

'"mouthorgan practice'

'"and you'll soon be playing real fine.'

'"And I hope Badge is going'

'"to show some sense'

'"over his row with Butch.'

'"Life's too short, Badge.'

'"For bearin' grudges.'

"You've been a grand lot to be with.

"Good luck, all.

"J.E. Mackintosh..

...Haggis."

[instrumental music]

[wind howling]

[machine beeping]

[instrumental music]

Hey, Badge. Badge.

Hello, what's the matter?

We're packing up, Badge, going home.

- Back to our ships. - What?

This box just told me on the quad.

- Where's Lofty? - Up here.

Hey!

[music continues]

Lofty! Hey, Lofty.

I thought you were supposed to be working up top.

- Yes, I've been, Lofty-- - Sims.

That's Tony.

Yes, PO?

What are you doing up here?

- Nothing. - Oh, that's what it looks like.

- I've finished up top. - Oh, finished, have you?

Then why didn't you report to me for further duties, eh?

You got yourself into bad company, Sims

and bad ways too.

You wouldn't take my advice, would you?

So, now I'm gonna teach you a lesson.

I'm having you up before the officers of the day.

You're not gonna put him in the rattle for that.

What, for finishing his job before time?

- Or gossiping with you. - Then take me up as well.

You get back to your work, Turner.

Come on, Sims, follow me.

Go on, Sims.

So, that's what they've been debating for the last week.

Two years' work, gone for a burton.

Can't you do something about it, sir.

What could I tell them, Bradville?

That you're back on the bench testing.

That you're still not sure whether the trouble's

DPT or some new factor?

What do they expect, to collect on every throw?

We've lost four valuable men and two Zed boats, Bradville.

You must see their point of view.

- I know, sir, but-- - Oh, to blazes with them.

If they can't see the waste.

The stupidity of getting men like Vincent and Babe

and the others chuck their lives away for what now amounts to--

No, I know, how you must be feeling.

Come and have a drink, both of you.

I'll see over in the ward room.

Well, that's that.

Perhaps your Navy Department will let you carry on

from where we left off.

Maybe.

I'll tell you something though.

After that bench run yesterday

I made up my mind to one thing, Rog.

What's that?

We haven't been wrong about DPT.

There's nothing unstable about it.

You could give it to your kids to play with.

Oh, the trouble isn't in the warhead.

It lies somewhere behind it.

I'm darn sure of that now.

Alright, fellas, take off the warhead

return it to the magazine.

Okay, when's the next run, lieutenant?

There won't be any next run.

'We're through.'

Well, isn't that just like the blooming navy?

You just settle down somewhere nice and comfortable.

One big happy family.

Some old clod up in London gets wind of it.

Well, if there's one thing keeps an admiral awake at night

it's the idea of a sailor with a nice cozy berth somewhere.

I daresay, we're gonna miss you're cookin', Badge.

But, will I be glad to see a two legged animal

that don't have to shave every morning.

Get out of it.

[imitates goat bleating]

That goes for me too, Shorty.

Well, then right now, I'm goin' into Joe's.

It's on East 22nd Street and having me

eight beers all in a row.

And that just for ballast.

After that, I'm hittin' every joint in town.

Hello, Sprog. What did he give you?

Oh, it's alright, Lofty. I only got a caution.

Oh, Herbert'll love that.

I don't think the pigs like him anymore than what we do.

Well, come on, who's gonna help Uncle Badge down below?

Grab it. That's it.

So, we got our sailing orders, hey, Sprog?

Yeah.

I wonder if we'll ever catch up with each other again, Lofty?

Oh, I daresay, the navy's a small world.

I hope we do.

I've learned a lot from you and Haggis.

- And Badge. - You'll be alright, son.

Don't let them trample on you, that's all.

- Lofty? - 'Yeah.'

I'm glad we're going in one way.

Well, I'm glad we're going in a number of ways, Sprog.

Yes, but..

...but I had the wind up, Lofty.

I was scared.

'Couldn't help it after what happened to Haggis.'

Ah, don't let that worry you, son.

We all get the wind up one time or another.

- It that the truth, Lofty? - 'Course, it is.

It's just that some of us covers it up

better than others, that's all.

Anyway, it's all done with now.

Tomorrow we'll be packing up this..

...home from home.

By this time, next week, I daresay

we'll all be scattered across the face

of the flippin' globe.

Come on, give us a hand with this.

Okay.

Yeah.

(Bradville) Vincent missed something.

We missed it too.

Right now, there's a couple of guys lying out there

at the bottom of the sea.

[sighs]

(Bradville) I'll tell you something, though.

The trouble isn't in the warhead.

It lies somewhere behind it.

It lies somewhere behind it.

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

Now now. Somebody's working late today, officer?

Yes, sir.

[thudding]

[bell ringing]

[ringing continues]

Look, sir.

A stretcher on the double, Dawson, and call the MO.

- Aye aye, sir. - Now stand back, everyone.

There's nothing to see. Come along, outside, everyone.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm alright.

Nothing to flap about.

Turn that water off, Layne.

What the heck have you been doing?

I had her running, Brad.

Without the warhead... she exploded.

I'll say she did, but what exploded?

What did you do?

I thought of something we never allowed for.

What?

We've always given her a straight run.

This time I set her off-course.

The guiding controls.

We've been pipped at the post, Brad.

If only they'd given us two more weeks.

That's all.

As you know, gentlemen, the guiding controls

are automatically lubricated

with every movement of the rudders.

It's our contention that the flash-point

of this present lubricant is too low.

At engine heat, the oil ignites

combines with the oxygen and explodes.

It's explosion is powerful enough

to detonate the DPT charge.

Then why didn't this happen during the bench test?

Well, that's easy, the normal bench run

is on a straight course, the guiding controls

don't come into operation.

Anyway, our first objective during these tests

was to satisfy ourselves that DPT could stand up

to a certain amount of shock and vibration.

And, uh, I think we proved that.

Well, this is certainly an attractive theory.

- But I fail to see-- - Oh, no, gentlemen. This is..

This is not a question of theory

it's a matter of fact.

I, uh, I don't quite follow you, Bradville.

Well, sir, we've just had an explosion of this kind

on the bench.

Am I to understand that further experiments

have taken place since you had our orders?

I gather that this occurred on the day they received

your orders to discontinue experiments, sir.

That's right, isn't it, Bradville?

Yes, sir. That's right, sir.

(male #8) 'I see.'

'Well, this seems to put an new complexion'

'on the whole project.'

[instrumental music]

Hey, Budge, Lofty, it's on again.

- What's on again? - The trial.

There's gonna be another one. Can't stop now.

Oh, no!

Well, isn't that just like the flaming navy?

They no sooner get you started movin' out

then they get you movin' in again.

I wonder how they carry on sometimes.

I do really.

Here you are, my lucky lads, come along then.

The one who picks the piece of paper marked with the cross

wins the X-mas turkey.

Youngest gets first choice.

Here you are, Sprog.

Nothin'.

No luck for the gentleman.

You have a try, sir.

Oh, I should've listened to me old mum.

She always told me to keep away

from that perishing water.

Mommy. A blankety-blank.

Well, I don't have to draw mine, do I?

Better luck next time, gents.

[motor whirring]

[horn toots]

How'd you spell memento, Sprog?

No use asking me, Lofty.

Didn't they teach you nothing at that orphanage?

Here, M-I-M, mim, E-N, T-O-E, toe, mimentoe.

'Oh, stop it.'

My kit ready, Sprog?

All except your cap, Lofty.

Well, that can't be far away

he used it for the draw last night.

There it is, up there.

[horn tooting]

Here, I'm gonna be left behind.

How about another cup of char before you go, eh, Lofty?

I haven't the time. Thanks, Badger.

Oh, well, might as well clear away the empties then.

Now don't you forget, I got something extra special later

on for your supper tonight when you get back.

So don't let me down, will you?

Oh, not likely.

What you lookin' for, son?

- Nothing, Lofty, I'm-- - Put it down.

We've had the draw, haven't we?

What are you trying to find? You can't change nothing now.

(Herbert) 'Turner!'

You were due down on that jetty

exactly three minutes ago.

What's the matter with ya?

Look after that for me, Sprog.

(Herbert) Come on! Get a move on.

Feeling a bit chilly around the ankles, are ya?

Well, I've heard a lot about death and glory

from that big mouth of yours since you've been here.

'I thought I shouldn't find yourself ready to jump to it'

'when you really came to the point.'

But you're not going adrift now, Turner.

I gotta see you safe aboard and wave you goodbye

'if it's the last thing I do.'

This little trip of yours maybe gonna save me

a lot of trouble in the future.

You are a louse, Herbert.

You've always wanted to draw me out, haven't you?

Get down to that jetty.

Well, now you have.

[grunting]

- Goodbye, boys. - So long, Lofty.

Wow, what's this?

Another British heavyweight in training?

[seagulls squawking]

[horn toots]

- Sleeping beauty. - Yeah.

[chuckling]

You all saw that, didn't ya?

You saw what happened.

We sure did.

He gets back, he's gonna find himself in cells.

I don't know about the British Navy

but with us that's a, uh..

It's a court-martial offence.

You're all witnesses. Every one of you.

Yes, sir. When a petty officer strikes a rating..

(Shorty) 'Twenty years.'

Twenty years at least in Leavenworth.

What do you mean, strike a rating?

Well, sure you slugged him first.

We all saw you, didn't we fellas?

- Sure, did. - Certainly.

You oughta be ashamed of yourself.

Tsk tsk.

Alright.

I've got it.

[laughing]

(Butch) 'That'll fix him.'

[instrumental music]

(Roger) 'Hello, target, this is control.'

'Maintain your course and speed.'

Trial commencing. Off.

Hello, KATO, this is control.

'Target on-course.'

'Act independently and carry out practice orders.'

And good luck to you.

Over.

I just love to know how Bradville

got around the admiral, sir.

Oh, he trapped him beautifully.

The old man kept on saying

"No, you can't take her on the trial."

Bradville wouldn't let go.

Finally, the admiral in desperation said

'I'll only agree if your people will.'

And he'd already got a clearance from them.

So, that was that.

Everything all set, Lofty?

Aye aye, sir.

Hello, control?

This is KATO.

Diving now.

'Keeping our fingers crossed.'

'Out.'

Switch on the recorder.

[machine beeping]

Well, they say, "third time lucky," sir.

Alright, Lofty. Take her down.

Aye aye, sir.

[whirring]

Slow ahead boat.

(Bradville) 'Target in sight.'

Bearing green 1-7.

Green 1-7.

Target course, 2-9-0.

Course 2-9-0.

Target speed, eight knots.

Eight knots.

Deflection, eight left.

Eight left.

(Bradville) 'Sight's coming on.'

Stand by, Lofty.

(Lofty) 'Stand by.'

Ready, sir.

[machine beeping]

Fire!

[bell gongs]

[rumbling]

[seagulls squawking]

Come inside, Sprog.

You won't see nothin' out there now.

Should be back by now, you know.

Well, I can't figure is just why guys like

Lofty and Haggis have to go sticking their necks out.

What are they looking for?

What do they hope to get out of it?

There's Brad, too, you know.

- How about him? - Ah, he's a scientist.

He's supposed to know what he's looking for?

He's out to prove something.

These other guys..

What are they after, medals?

Maybe they are looking for something, Shorty.

Well, as my old man used to say to me. "Sam," he said.

He called me Sam 'cause that's my name .

"Sam just remembered.

"He died a hero looks great

"on the other guy's tombstone.

It's like the washing up, chump. Someone's gotta do it.

Sprog, what's it gonna be making that fire up

if you keep that flaming door open?

Switch the lights on.

Do me a favor.

Put the kettle on as a good boy.

Okay, Badge.

(Butch) 'It's a quarter after eight.'

Anybody got any cigarettes?

Here you go, Butch, if you want a good drag, try an English one.

Thanks, Badge.

Would you mind if I, uh..

...asked you a question on a certain very delicate subject?

Go ahead, shoot.

[Badge clears throat]

What went wrong between you and Doris?

Listen, Badge..

...what went wrong between Doris and you?

Nothing. She just went off with you, that's all.

That's right.

Well, now she's gone off with

an air course sergeant in charge of supply.

- No. - Yeah.

Oh, that's a big weight off my mind.

Here I've been thinking all the time

that you got something I hadn't got.

[crying]

Hey, Sprog, you mustn't take on like this.

He shouldn't have gone. We shouldn't have let him go.

He'll be alright, kid. Lofty can look after himself.

- 'But he didn't have to go.' - 'He didn't have to go.'

'But he was the one who drew x marks the spot, didn't he?'

- But he didn't.. - What do you mean, he didn't?

He drew a blank too.

That's silly. There was only two blanks.

You had one, and I had the other.

- There were three blanks. - There was what?

They were all blanks.

(Sprog) 'Lofty didn't mark a cross on any of them.'

What are you talking about? What put this idea into your head?

When I got his cap from this morning

his paper was still in it.

I had a look at it.

It was blank, I tell you.

Are you sure?

Of course.

Well, would you believe it?

Fancy fitting himself onto a crazy stunt like that.

I know why he did it.

Because he knew I had the wind up.

Because he knew I didn't want to go.

I should have stopped him.

Somehow, I..

...I should have stopped him.

(Sprog) 'Lofty.'

What's this? The "Waxworks?"

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Well, this is a fine welcome home.

You made it. You brought it off.

Oh, me and Brad? Of course, we did.

You can't beat a team like that, mate.

- We thought you'd had it. - Who me?

'No, you don't get rid of me as easy as all that.'

But you should have seen the target.

Up she went, woof, never come down again.

Way to go, Lofty. Wonderful!

[indistinct chattering]

Hey, Badge, how about that extra special grub

you promised me, eh?

Grub, coming up, my lord.

Turtle soup, caviar, stuffed duck, peach Melba

and a nice bottle of bubbly to wash it down with.

Well, you can skip the bubbly but what couldn't I do

to a nice cup of char.

Cup of char? Come on and get some real booze.

[indistinct chatter]

Well, goodbye, Wharton.

Come and see us sometime.

Thanks, I'd like to.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

(Butch) 'Come on, Lofty, give me a hand with this.'

(Badge) 'Come on, Shorty, don't all mess up.'

[instrumental music]

Well, goodbye, Sorrento.

And hello 14 days leave.

[cheering]