Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

Starring Buddy Ebsen.

Also starring Lee Meriwether.

With guest stars Gary Lockwood,

Corinne Camacho.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Good morning, Betty.

How are you on this beautiful...

What's wrong?

I don't know.

That was on our door when I came in this morning,

and this was with it.

"In memoriam.

Barnaby Jones, who will die..."

"Sunday the fourth."

(wry laugh)

That's funny.

I feel fine.

Never felt better in my life.

That's three days from now.

What kind of a sick joke is that?

Oh, forget it.

I've gotten crank mail before.

Well, I'm not going to forget about it.

I'm going to call Lieutenant Taylor or somebody

down in that department, if you're not going to,

and I'm going to call off the barbecue for tonight.

Look, I'm taking it serious.

There's no reason for both of us to panic.

We'll have the barbecue at the ranch,

exactly as planned.

All right.

No panic.

Barbecue as planned.

But are you going to call Lieutenant Taylor, or am I?

Well, I think I'll pay him a personal visit.

Somebody wants me dead Sunday.

Sunday's a rotten day to die.

Your life's darned valuable to me, Barnaby.

But not so much I can assign you an around-the-clock bodyguard.

Is that what I asked?

If I were you and you were me,

I'd be screaming in your face and pounding a fist

for you to get off your duff

and protect a civilian like me.

I'm not really worried.

Well, I am.

What kind of a mind sends a funeral wreath?

A cruel, twisted mind.

But that's not enough for us to move on,

and you know it.

Who asked you to?

No, you didn't.

But what do you want?

(intercom buzzes)

Later.

List of men I sent up or helped send up.

I want you to cross-check that against whoever came out

of prison lately... let's say in the last six months...

And, uh, give me a printout on it.

And what about all those names not on this list...

The ones who never did any time

because their lawyers got them off?

That would make the list too long.

I've got to limit it somewhere.

A man you send to prison has got a bone to pick with you.

You've heard that saying, haven't you, Joe?

Work on it, will you?

Okay.

I want to talk to every one of them.

Funeral wreath.

What kind of a man thinks like that?

Psychopath.

Weirdo.

GIRL: Daddy, not too fast!

I'm getting dizzy.

Please, I'm afraid.

More?

No. I don't think so.

The faster, the better.

You'll love it. It's going too fast.

No!

Please, no! I'm afraid! She's scared. She wants off.

Please, please!

(girl whimpering)

Hey, don't tease her like that.

She wants off. Who asked you?

I'm a mother, and I know when a child is scared.

And I don't like people butting in my business.

What's it to you anyway, lady?

WOMAN 2: Listen, mister, I've seen her here before,

but I've never seen you.

Who are you, anyway?

(laughing): Well...

Ladies, I'm the little tyke's father.

Daddy, I want to go home.

I want to go home.

Just one more thing, baby.

(laughing)

Hey, you can't do that.

Daddy, you're funny.

Race you to the car?

Okay. Come on!

(girl laughing)

(girl laughing)

Oh, you're so late, you two.

I was worried, and it's nasty outside.

Did you have a good time?

Daddy played a joke on a lady.

Uh, well, you're going to have to hurry.

We, uh... we're late for the doctor.

(groans) Oh, come on, now.

Daddy should have brought you home sooner.

Hey... give Daddy a big kiss, huh?

Thanks for the nice time.

Okay, honey.

I mean it, Howard. I want you to see her,

but you're just going to have to bring her home on time.

We agreed upon a certain thing, and you have... (gasps)

(whispering): Don't you ever criticize me in front of our daughter.

You understand, Bonnie?

As far as she's concerned,

we're supposed to be in love with each other.

Understand?

So don't you ever criticize me again.

All right, Howard.

(sighs, laughs)

Yeah, we had a nice time.

She's a great girl.

Yeah.

I, uh, I'm glad.

I, I, um, want you to see her whenever you can.

Hey, look, I appreciate it. I really do.

It's going to be a... a regular thing now.

I got a job.

Right here in town... draftsman.

That sounds wonderful.

I learned it

while I was in prison.

I'm good at it, too.

Well, I'm glad everything is going so well for you.

Hey, you know what?

I kind of got a serious girlfriend.

Well, that's... that's very nice.

Yeah, we wrote a lot while I was in, and, uh...

it's got kind of serious.

In fact, I was going to ask you a favor.

What sort of favor?

I want to get her a birthday present.

You know... uh, I don't know... She keeps talking about a dress.

A nice dress.

Yeah, okay.

What, um, size does she wear?

What kind?

Just about your size.

Hey, she keeps harping about basic black,

so why don't you get her a nice black dress, huh?

Sure.

Oh, uh, Bonnie.

Uh...

here's some money for the dress...

and just maybe you could put that in with it, okay?

Mm-hmm.

Thanks.

Your money's no good, Danny.

Put it away.

Give the gentleman another drink.

We'll be at the table.

Your money never was any good, Danny.

Another milk, too?

Maybe later.

My money wasn't that bad.

Passed for seven months before anybody hollered queer.

How was it in the slammer this time, Danny?

You meet old friends.

What's on your mind, Jones?

You working, Danny?

No, Barnaby, I'm not.

But it's a funny thing.

I don't have to check with you or my parole officer.

My parole was over the 17th of last month.

Congratulations.

So?

Do you want to knock me over, Danny?

(laughing)

You?

That's not a bad idea.

But it's no way to make a buck.

How do you figure to make a buck?

(sighs)

I'm moving to Hawaii.

I'm getting married.

My new wife has a steady job there.

Look for yourself.

Two tickets, L.A.-Hawaii.

One way.

Leaving Saturday. See?

You satisfied?

Satisfied.

Checked out Danny Gernreich.

Number seven on the list.

Big fat zero, Joe.

Why don't you just hole up out at the ranch and lock your doors

until we can find out if this screwball is for real?

I'm a growing boy.

I need fresh air.

(phone rings in outer office)

You mean crawl in a hole and pull it in after me?

For how long?

We'll have a final printout

on the rest of those names maybe tomorrow.

Barnaby, there's a Jonathan Conroy on the line.

He says it's personal.

We don't have him in the files.

Excuse me, Joe.

Barnaby Jones.

(altering voice): This is Jonathan Conroy, Mr. Jones.

You remember me from the Newport Ski Club

last Fourth of July?

I don't exactly recall,

but, uh, what can I do for you, sir?

Well, I certainly remember you.

You and how you knew everything about them guns.

(mouthing)

Betty, try to trace this.

Y-You still there, Mr. Jones?

Yes, yes, I was just trying

to, uh, recall our conversation.

Uh, I really don't know

everything there is to know about guns.

Well, now,

I'm fixing to go hunting in a few days,

and I just wanted to make sure

I took along the right equipment.

What kind of game are you going for?

Well, the animal I'm tracking, Mr. Jones,

stands about 73 inches tall, weighs maybe 180-185 pounds,

and has gray hair.

You got any ideas?

Yes.

Don't aim that gun at me unless you're hiding behind a rock.

Oh, it'll be face-to-face, Barnaby.

You can count on that.

Listen.

Are you still there?

Hello?

Hello?

(line clicks)

Any luck?

No, darn it.

Well, I couldn't hold him any longer.

Forget it.

TAYLOR: He didn't sound familiar to me.

A real cutie.

Did you reach your friend?

I reached him.

He agrees with you.

That's, that's the one... I'll take it.

Oh, say, uh, 20 rounds of high-powered ammunition.

I know you'll find it's everything you require, sir.

(coughs)

Sir, I realize the chamber is empty,

but a good rule is: never point a weapon at anybody

unless you want to kill him.

You're absolutely right.

(sniffling)

♪ ♪

Really, Mr. Jones, Tamar is too much.

Is he a trick horse?

You bet you, he's a trick horse.

A matter of fact, before I came out of retirement,

I taught him quite a few stunts.

Of course, we're probably a little rusty now,

Aw... but we'll see.

Rusty?

If Barnaby isn't fishing when he takes a break,

he's out here riding Tamar.

(chuckles)

Yeah, it's getting a little dangerous

riding in the valley.

Stray Indians, Barnaby? No, freeways.

(laughter)

Well, Tamar,

you got an audience here.

Step up, folks.

Step up a little closer, folks.

See Tamar, the one and only.

Are you ready?

(Barnaby whistles, Tamar whinnies)

(cheering)

(neighs)

Do it again. And for an encore...

(whistles)

(Tamar neighs, spectators cheer)

Good boy.

He's a good old boy, yeah, he's a good old boy.

Betty, your barbecue is delicious.

Oh, I saw you go off your diet, though.

It's going to take two weeks in the gym.

(laughing) Sorry about that.

Well, I have to get rid of it somehow.

I beg your pardon.

I have a delivery for a Betty Jones.

Well, that's me.

A package?

Barnaby, what is this,

a surprise?

Not from me, maybe from one of your other admirers.

(chuckling): Yeah.

Thank you.

Looks nice, whatever it is.

Yeah, well, let's see.

Hey...

It's not my birthday.

What is this?

Beautiful dress.

(lilting chuckle)

"For you to wear at Barnaby Jones' funeral."

You're the last person I expected to see.

The last I ever wanted to see.

Excuse me if I keep working.

I promised this customer.

I don't want to bother you, Mrs. Padget.

I want to talk to your husband.

That's a good one.

Funny.

Funny ha-ha and funny peculiar.

I'd laugh, but it's just a little bit too ironic.

Well, you can't talk to Marty,

so if that's all, good-bye.

It's just for a few minutes.

It's important to me

and it might be important to the both of you.

Why all this interest in Marty now?

You couldn't care less when you sent him up in '58.

I didn't send him up, Mrs. Padget.

He broke the law and the law sent him up

and you both know that.

What's so important, all of a sudden?

Somebody is threatening to kill me.

I hope they do.

It's obvious that it's someone

who hates me, and Marty's on that list.

Where is he?

In Sawtelle Cemetery.

He was in a hospital ward

all last year and he finally got his hand on a pistol.

(whispering): I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry, Laura, believe me.

(phone rings)

Barnaby Jones' office. May I help you?

(altering voice): Yeah, this is George T. Lane speaking.

L-A-N-E.

Is, uh, Mr. Jones there?

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Lane.

Uh, Mr. Jones isn't in the office at the moment.

Can I take a message?

Well, gee, I, uh, I do want to reach him right away.

It's important.

Do you know where I might find him?

Oh, I'm sorry, he's, he's due at a meeting at Century Plaza West,

and I don't think I'll be able to reach him.

He's due out of there about 2:00, 2:15.

Could I have him call you then?

Yeah, uh, no-no, I, uh, I'll call back.

I'm, I'm not in the office right now.

Thanks. Good-bye.

Good-bye.

♪ ♪

(whirring)

(whirring)

(whirring)

This just came special messenger.

♪ ♪

BETTY: "Two... days...

to... live."

No fingerprints.

I didn't expect any.

Felt pen you can buy anywhere

and no trace on that special messenger.

You can buy this photographic paper

in a thousand stores in Los Angeles.

This was obviously taken when you returned the dress.

Hey.

What?

You remember I told you

the man who called and never called back?

Yeah. Well, that's how he got that one.

I told him where you were going to be.

Let me get that name.

The name is George somebody,

except it was Jonathan something

when he called from the skeet shooting club.

No, names and sound of voices aren't going to help us now.

Barnaby, all of this... The-the wreath, those pictures.

Why would anybody...?

Go to all that trouble?

Yeah. He wants me to sweat.

Pulling the wings off the fly.

You want me to call Joe Taylor?

No, not just yet.

Betty, if I asked you to draw a circle on something,

what would you use?

The size of these?

The size of those and as perfect as those.

Oh, a water glass, a bottom of a coffee can maybe.

No,

perfect.

Oh, one of those, um, whatchamacallits

that kids use in school.

These weren't drawn by any kids,

and those whatchamacallits are a compass,

or a pair of dividers.

Perfect circle.

Right on the nose.

Now, each one of these prints...

has a little hole right in the middle of the circle,

and these crosshairs he drew in...

You could, uh, draft plans

with those right angles.

So who are we up against?

What kind of profession would you say

we might be dealing with?

An engineer. Draftsman maybe.

They teach drafting in penitentiaries.

A draftsman.

A draftsman who's a real cutie.

♪ ♪

WOMAN (over speakerphone): Roger Gosset.

1940 North Channel Road, Santa Monica.

Released from Chino Authority 29 November last year.

Anybody else?

Negative.

Okay. Thanks.

Roger Gosset, Barnaby.

Now, unless there's somebody convicted on a federal rap

and sent out of state, Gosset's got to be your man.

Will you check the disposition

of those sent to Federal penitentiaries?

Sure, it's in the works.

You should be getting a teletype

from Washington anytime now.

But I'll bet it's Gosset.

He's local, he's a draftsman,

and he learned it in jail.

WOMAN: Roger, are you too busy to see anybody?

(sighs) No, Mom, send him in.

Hello, Gosset.

Barnaby Jones?

I don't believe it.

(laughs) Hey, it's good to see you.

No kidding.

How about a cup of coffee?

No, thanks.

Uh, good to see you, too.

How's it going? Oh, great, great.

Whole new career... Couldn't be better.

Say, what brings you here?

Somebody's trying to kill me.

I thought maybe you.

(sighs)

Why should I want to kill you, Mr. Jones?

You, uh... you did me a favor, you know.

I did?

How do you figure?

Well, look, when you nabbed me, man, I was... I was dying.

I had a... I had a habit.

I was pushing.

Now I'm clean.

I'm working.

I got a future.

Besides, I couldn't very well kill you, even if I wanted to.

Why not?

You remember the New Year's riot

at Chino, don't you?

See, I figured if I had to make a trade...

Losing my mobility but... finding myself...

Well, that's more than a lot of guys ever get, isn't it?

So, like I said, between what you did

and getting the education in prison,

I got to figure somebody did me a favor.

♪ ♪

I see.

Oh, no, no, that's all right.

Listen, thank you for that.

Bye.

BARNABY: Thank who for what?

Well, it worked out like this.

There were only two men sent up on Federal charges.

Sedlin is still in Leavenworth.

But, in Atlanta...

Howard Lee. Fraud.

Yeah.

He was released last week.

And he has a trade school qualification in...

Drafting.

Drafting.

Production artist, rendering, like that.

They said he's an exceptionally fine student.

Did he know where he went on the outside?

No, uh, served his full sentence, was released.

That's all the warden knew.

What now?

I can take it from here.

Take it where?

Well, there are plenty of places

where I can look for him: old address,

old friends, hangouts.

Don't worry about it.

What do you mean, don't worry about it?

Well, you've got things to do and...

Thanks.

For what?

I think you just saved my life.

You still have to get through tomorrow.

Oh, uh... you got any special plans for...

Barnaby.

I'd like you to plan to spend tonight

and all day tomorrow out at the ranch.

All right.

What about you? Oh, I'll be here.

I won't be able to cover all the bases I want anyway.

I'm going to ask Joe to let me use a couple of hotlines.

I might ask some of the off-duty boys to help me out.

I'll be here till I poop out,

and when I get sleepy, I'll sack in on the daybed.

(sighs)

I don't like it.

Nobody's asking you to like it.

You sure you'll be all right?

I've done it before.

You will eat something,

won't you?

Which reminds me... I've got to do some shopping.

Cupboards look pretty skimpy after the barbecue.

You can take off anytime.

Oh, honey, before you go, would you get me Joe?

Look...

we're better off than we were an hour ago.

Before, all we knew

was that there was somebody out there

wiring a booby trap for me.

At least now, I know what the booby trap looks like.

Betty Jones, isn't it?

I beg your pardon?

Betty Jones?

Hal's wife?

I'm Brian Harper.

I'm sorry.

UCLA.

I was a friend of Hal's, and you and I

met several times after the games.

I...

Well, obviously, you don't remember.

Forgive me.

Brian Harper? Yeah.

How do you do?

Yeah, Hal and I were on the swimming team together,

and we were both Sigma Phis.

The literary society.

I, uh...

I was in the Bahamas when I heard about Hal.

I'm sorry, Betty.

He was quite a guy.

How's Barnaby?

Oh, he's fine.

Well, I met him once.

Oh.

Yeah, after that famous water polo game

against Berkeley.

Oh, yes.

I remember that one.

Well, give my regards.

I'll do that.

It' nice to see you again, Betty. Yes.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye.

(engine struggles)

(engine struggling)

Hey.

You out of gas?

Out of something, Betty.

Well, listen, there's a gas station a couple of blocks down.

You want me to give you a lift?

Gee, you sure I'm not putting you out?

No problem.

Come on.

Okay.

Oh. Thanks.

(engine starts)

Well, he must be in trouble again, Mr. Jones.

Otherwise, you wouldn't be here.

I wanted to be sure.

That's why I want to talk to him.

But I never know when he's going to show up.

I mean, we are divorced, you know... when he was in.

Howard only comes by when he's visiting Chris.

Where is he living now, Ms. Lee?

I really don't know that.

Can't you tell me why you're looking for him?

You know if he's got a job?

I think he does.

A, uh... he has a good job

with a drafting firm or something.

He does nice work.

He do his own printing, too?

Yes.

It always was a hobby of his.

You know what pictures like this

would cost done professionally?

Now, when everything was seeming to work out for him...

He even has a girl.

They like each other a lot.

I even bought a present for her for Howard.

A dress.

Yes.

That's a very good guess.

A black dress.

How did you know that?

Thank you very much for talking to me, Ms. Lee.

But, Mr. Jones, do you want me to tell him

that you're looking for him or...?

I think he knows.

TAYLOR: Don't come in shooting, Barnaby.

Just me.

Just looking after the store.

How are we doing?

Lot of people around here.

MacManus called in about 9:30.

He did three of the addresses.

Nothing.

Going out to Hollenbeck now.

How am I going to square with you guys?

On your own time, your experts.

I get paid for working.

(chuckles)

Shut up and eat your pie.

Did you have anything to eat at all?

Yeah, a sandwich somewhere in the car.

Blanks, huh?

Me, I don't expect him to make a move until Sunday.

These psychos get hooked on a battle plan,

they follow it.

Did his ex-wife open up?

But Howard is in town?

It's Howard Lee, Joe.

He's a draftsman.

Camera is his hobby.

He asked his wife to buy

a black dress for a present.

(sighs)

Pass inspection?

You both pass inspection.

I hope we can say the same thing Monday morning.

Why don't you get some sleep?

Are you kicking me out?

With thanks.

Okay.

Okay, I'll lock up.

You take care.

♪ ♪

(clock ticking)

(phone ringing)

Hello?

BETTY: Barnaby?

Betty?

You all right?

No, I'm not.

Barnaby...

Hello?

Hello. Betty?

(laughs)

(dog barking in distance)

Well, don't worry.

He'll call back.

He'll dial frantically.

I bet he wishes now the foreman would stay on Sundays.

(cradle switch clicking)

(phone ringing)

(laughs)

(clears throat)

Barnaby, he wants you to come alone.

Do what Howard says, Barnaby.

Lee...

if you harm her in any way, I'll...

She's just leverage.

It's you I want.

Like I said, you and I, face-to-face.

I'll be out.

I'll be there in 40 minutes.

Don't you hurt her.

No mistakes, Barnaby, no tricks.

Just remember, I can see in all directions out here.

No innocent pickup trucks cruising by, or...

or horse vans.

And if a helicopter just happens to fly over,

well, I'm not sure what I might do.

It might make me think

you were going back on your word.

How can I help it if a car...?

You just better.

Hang up now, dear.

Barnaby, don't worry about me. I...

(mock sympathy): Oh...

Do you usually have a big breakfast,

or is it just toast and coffee, or something like that?

What?

Well, I don't want to cause any trouble,

but, um, I thought you might be hungry, too.

You want me to fix you breakfast?

I would appreciate it, Betty.

Though I don't want you to put yourself out.

(laughs)

What do you want?

Well, uh,

scrambled eggs or an omelet.

Either one would be fine.

Whatever you want, Betty, would be fine

with me.

(eggs sizzling)

Would you like some orange juice?

Great.

Frozen?

We have six trees.

Must be nice to have fresh orange juice

any time you want.

You know, I've learned a lot about you two lately.

I've learned a lot.

What gets me is how you can stand it.

I know the hours you put in, alone in the same room with him,

all the time, every day.

Barnaby?

Yeah.

He likes to boss you around a lot.

I know him; I know what he can be like.

My father was exactly the same way.

They even sound the same.

I know that kind.

Love to give orders.

Yes, sir! No, sir!

(laughs)

Have to run the world just the way they see fit.

Rules and laws.

And if you step out of line, whap!

Barnaby isn't like that.

You know...

everybody practically forgot about it.

Jones didn't have to keep after me.

It was all over. A lousy fraud.

Everybody forgot about him.

Nobody was even paying him by then.

He just didn't want

to have a case like that still on his books.

What the hell difference did it make?

(sighs)

I'll tell you.

A gold star for him,

and six years out of my life for me.

(sighs)

She'd just been born, too.

I knew my daughter six lousy months

before Jones butt in.

Once a week... that's how many times they let me see her.

A couple of lousy hours a week.

But Barnaby Jones.

Barnaby Jones, boy.

He thinks he's God Almighty.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

LEE (shouting): Hey, Barnaby!

You finally made it!

Where is she?

Where's Betty?

What have you done to her?

Nothing.

She's just fine.

She's in the ring.

Why don't you see for yourself?

Hey, Barnaby, are you just gonna stand there?

I'm coming up!

Barnaby!

Hold it, Barnaby!

Betty, are you all right?

LEE: Hey, Betty, he wants to know

if you're all right.

(crying): He killed Shane.

I know.

LEE: Hey, Barnaby.

Why don't you come a little closer?

Hey, Barnaby,

what's the best thing in your life?

She is.

Good.

Whatever you want, Howard.

Just say it.

I've got it, friend.

Dead... Dead...

You'll be my friend.

Listen, Howard...

Just keep coming, baby.

Come on.

BARNABY: You said this was between you and me.

Let me get her out of here.

(whistles, neighing)

(panting)

BETTY: Barnaby.

(crying)

You all right?

I will be.

You?

Soon.

(crying)

(bell tolling in distance)

(sobbing): Sunday.

Yeah.

Sunday.

Barnaby.

(crying)

(bell continues tolling)

(theme music playing)