Original subtitles

Ah ha ha ha!

This is your brain.

This is your brain on drugs.

[Sizzling]

And this is your brain after watching

tales from the crypt.

Evening, creeps.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled television program

to bring you a bit of culture.

That's right, kiddies.

Tonight, instead of rotting yourgravematter,

I'm going to improve it with a tasteful tale

about someone who just can't frightthe feeling.

I call itwerewolf concerto.

[Singing in latin]

[Footsteps running]

[Man gasping]

[Thunder]

[Heavy breathing]

[Heavy breathing]

Rawr!

Rawr!

Arooo!

Aah!

My deepest regrets, Mrs. Bailey.

If it's any comfort,

the coroner tells me your husband's death was instant.

[Crying]

Oh, my, my.

Please help her to the settee.

Thank you.

Mr. Antoine!

Three people have been murdered at your hotel.

I'd like to know what you

and the authorities are doing about it.

I'm leaving.

Last night's storm has made that impossible.

A mudslide's blocking the highway.

Then the police can't get in.

There's a killer stalking this place.

Killer? Is that what you think?

Why can't you admit it?

It's a wolf,

a werewolf.

[Antoine] All right. Now, people!

People, please listen to me.

I agree every bit of evidence leads to one conclusion--

a werewolf...

But your panic is premature.

Someone has already agreed to kill the beast.

It has come to my attention

that there is an individual among us

who is considered an expert

in dealing with this type of phenomenon.

This individual was kind enough to offer their services,

and in exchange, ask only I keep their anonymity in place.

What kind of fools do you take us for?

You expect me to believe that one of us is

a werewolf exterminator?

Are you people actually buying this crap?

Werewolves are real, Mr. hertz.

To the hunter, they are the ultimate prize.

You people are all nuts!

I wash my hands of the whole thing.

Good!

Soon things will return to normal.

I've planned a marvelous weekend--

food, drink, entertainment.

Drinks for everyone!

[Antoine] I love that color on you.

This is so exciting.

Well done, Mr. Antoine.

[Crunching ice]

You know what they say about a man

who does that to his ice, don't you?

Yeah.

You can always count on him to lick the competition.

Something like that.

You've been listening?

Hard not to.

What do you think?

About?

Werewolves.

That old hair-on-the-back thing

has always been a turnoff for me.

And you?

I dig a chick with a healthy 'fro...

Wherever I can find it.

Later days, barber boy.

The ball, August '91.

Hollywood's a depressing town. I try not to keep track.

Janice baird performs

mussorgsky'spictures at an exhibition

in g major.

Kind of old for a groupie.

Let's discuss it over breakfast.

I don't do breakfast.

Me neither.

It's amazing what we've got in common.

Lunch?

Nope.

Dinner?

Nada.

20 questions, naked in the bathtub?

Say around midnight.

Whose back to the faucet?

Mine, of course.

You just won yourself a prize, groupie.

Room 212--around midnight.

And don't forget your submarine.

It will be a pleasure

watching you perform, Janice baird.

A real pleasure.

Peiter.

Yes, sir?

Do me a favor, kid.

I want to know if anyone here

receives any kind of communication--

fax, phone call, or wrong number.

I want to know about it.

Thanks, kid.

Mr. Antoine.

Mr. lokai...

Sleep safely.

Mr. lokai.

Good afternoon.

Mr. lokai.

Please join us.

Yes, take a seat.

We missed you at breakfast this morning.

Yes, I went for a jog.

Something about the mountain air brings out the best in people.

That's a lovely dress.

Well, thank you you're very kind.

Have either of you seen Mr. hertz today?

Mr. hertz, what a curious question, why do you ask?

He's a curious man.

He seemed rather uptight last night.

Weren't we all.

Good afternoon, Mr. lokai.

Hello, Wolfgang. What's for lunch?

We have a wonderful salmon with dill sauce,

and we have a quail.

I made a frittata for you with vegetables and fennel.

You, uh...

Got a cheeseburger?

Cheeseburger?

And, uh, a large iced tea.

Wolfgang.

Yes, sir?

Plenty of ice.

Very hot.

So, Mr. lokai,

who do you think is the mysterious werewolf hunter?

It seems to me that is the wrong question.

And one I might add important to a particular person.

And who might that be?

The werewolf himself.

Or herself.

Is there anything you wish to confess, Mercedes?

I think Mr. lokai is wise to you my dear.

I think it best if you give yourself up.

Oh, you two think you're so funny.

I'm series, are you the least bit curious?

Curious?

In a situation like this,

curiosity only gets you one place, and that's dead.

Ask Mr. Bailey.

Oh, God. Poor Mr. Bailey.

He was such a nice man.

Hewas.

We were just becoming friendly.

That's a very revealing photo.

Really? How so?

I think he's right.

The full moon does favor you,

at least more so than the werewolf.

Doing a bit of sleuthing yourself, Mr. lokai?

Just got an eye for detail.

Isn't that right, Carl?

Excuse me?

Please, sit down. Join us.

You seem to be quite the expert on werewolves.

Have you changed professions?

That mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble.

Is there a threat

in that mouthful of clich￩s?

I'd like to know what you're doing here.

Relaxing, Carl, on your money.

He hates losing, but he's good at it.

Do not interfere with me again.

Is that clear?

That's o.K., Carl. We'll talk later...

Alone.

Goodbye, Mr. lokai.

Goodbye, Mr. lokai.

He's very sensitive.

Janice, you there?

Hello?

Janice!

I hope you don't mind,

but your door was open.

I thought perhaps if you, uh, weren't doing anything,

we could get your bathtub warmed up.

Hello!

Janice.

Reijek!

I told you not to follow me!

If you don't walk away, I'm going to shoot you.

Bingo!

Bingo!

[Leaves rustling]

Heard you were asking for me at lunch.

No. I was looking for a big, sweaty, dumb bald head.

Ha ha ha! Very funny, smart ass.

Just keep yukking it up.

Nice bag. Goes with the vest.

Where's reijek? He'll miss the party.

He won't be coming.

I suppose not.

I knew the ape had something on someone.

He had a secret, all right,

he kept his nose to far up the wrong ass

and started sniffing around.

Kind of like you.

Really? That's funny.

I always considered myself more of a leg man.

You play games with me.

Reijek--he liked games. Only thing is, he lost.

That's the difference between Carl and me.

You see, I never lose.

You're to goddamn smug!

Too bad I must shoot you,

because I'd rather tear you limb from limb, hear me?

I heard you.

Bet this werewolf business

can be kind of expensive, Mr. hertz.

You guys, you're all the same.

No challenge.

...A night like last night.

What are we going to do? The sun is going down.

Mr. Antoine, we want answers,

and we want them now.

You said something would be done.

Where's the werewolf? Where's your great hunter?

Here comes Mr. lokai.

Let's ask him.

Good evening, everyone.

Why didn't you ask him?

People, please don't be alarmed.

It's only a matter of time

before this beast is destroyed.

Mr. lokai.

This fax just came in for Mr. reijek.

Authorities sent two agents to the hotel.

Mr. reijek's going to collect reward money.

For what?

For the information they sent him on hertz.

What information? What information?

Mr. reijek has proof that hertz is a Nazi.

What are you talking about?

Mr. hertz is a Nazi war criminal.

Mr. reijek has pictures.

No!

How could I have been so stupid?

It's not hertz.

I want to invite you all to a special engagement.

There's still time.

Are you all right?

Ms. Janice baird, world-renowned pianist...

Janice!

Agreed to honor us with an impromptu concert

in the hotel lounge.

What time did Ms. baird return to the hotel?

I don't think she left.

Of course she left!

I was in her room. She wasn't there.

She doesn't crawl out of bed till late afternoon.

We think she has a drinking problem.

It couldn't be.

It couldn't be.

[Howling]

Come on out, bitch! It's time to hula.

You didn't think you'd get away from me, did you?

[Crackling]

Ahhh!

Ugh...

Aah!

Aah!

You don't stand a chance!

You don't stand a chance!

It is I who have been hunting you.

It is you who will be destroyed!

It is you who will be destroyed!

Aah!

Rawr!

Arooo!

Grr!

Grrr!

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

Aah!

[Material ripping]

No! No!

No! No!

[Thump]

Rawr!

Rawr!

Arooo!

Arooo!

Aaah!

[Moaning]

Didn't expect you till midnight, groupie.

Lucky for me, I'm an early riser.

You loupies are so easy.

You stomp around, sticking your chest out,

like you haven't got a brain in your head.

Ahh...

Maybe it's better that way.

Piano.

Oh, yes. The piano.

Think of it as my tour bus, baby.

You know...

I kind of like you.

I think I'll take you up on breakfast after all.

[Crunch]

Aah!

Poor lokai.

Thought he was starring inla boo-ehme,

turned out he was second lead inromeo and ghouliet.

Ha ha ha!

I hope you're not cultured out, kiddies,

because the next part of our program

is a little pas dedie I've been working on.

I hope you'll like thegoryography.

Whenever you're ready, isadora!

Mmm...I guess it's back to thecorpsede ballet for her.

Ha ha ha!