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1
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Huh?
2
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I am not a bum.
3
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I'm a jerk.
4
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I once had wealth, power,
5
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and the love of a beautiful woman.
6
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Now, I only have two things.
7
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My friends
8
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and...
9
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uh...
10
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my thermos.
11
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Huh?
12
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My story?
13
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Okay.
14
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It was never easy for me.
15
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I was born a poor black child.
16
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I remember the days
17
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,457
sittin' on the porch with my family
18
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singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi.
19
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:18,879
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
20
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,255
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
21
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,506
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
22
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:22,723
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
23
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:23,842
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
24
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,263
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
25
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,477
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
26
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,641
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
27
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,479
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
28
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,438
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
29
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,807
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
30
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:31,933
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
31
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,150
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
32
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♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
33
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,440
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
34
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♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
35
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,189
♪ Me and my buddy gonna ♪
36
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,111
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
37
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,358
♪ Me and my buddy gonna ♪
38
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:41,576
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
39
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,614
♪ Me and my buddy gonna ♪
40
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:43,828
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
41
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,946
♪ Me and my buddy gonna ♪
42
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,413
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
43
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,577
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
44
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,495
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
45
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,038
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
46
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,377
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
47
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,621
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
48
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:53,712
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
49
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:54,796
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
50
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,086
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
51
00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,504
♪ Wanna get on your knees ♪
52
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,501
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
53
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,628
♪ Wanna get on your knees ♪
54
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:00,594
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
55
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,213
♪ Wanna get all around ♪
56
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:03,260
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
57
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,882
♪ Wanna get all around ♪
58
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:05,724
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
59
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:06,888
♪ Gonna pack that hay ♪
60
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,227
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
61
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,346
♪ Gonna pack that hay ♪
62
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,767
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
63
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,232
Boy, I hope everybody's good and hungry.
64
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,696
I know I am.
65
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,190
And I'm ready for that.
66
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,487
Here's corn bread
67
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,156
and collard greens.
68
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,778
And I cooked up those hog maws you like.
69
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,031
Mother, dear, ain't
we forgetting somethin'?
70
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,954
No, I'm not.
71
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,669
Today is Navin's birthday.
72
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,379
Aw, Happy Birthday!
73
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,295
Today is Navin's birthday.
74
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,543
And I cooked you up your favorite meal.
75
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,973
Tuna fish salad on white
bread with mayonnaise, a Tab
76
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,638
and a couple of Twinkies.
77
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:48,930
Here, darlin'.
78
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,929
Gee, Mom, thanks.
79
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,350
You're gonna like that shit, man.
80
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,276
I got you a present.
81
00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,862
Gee, Elvira.
82
00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,356
I made it myself.
83
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,197
We got you somethin', too.
84
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,362
A whole half bottle of Lilac Vegetal.
85
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,325
It's from both of us.
86
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,159
Gee.
87
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,784
I drew you this picture.
88
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:09,621
Here.
89
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,121
Thank you.
90
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,834
I want you to have my Zippo.
91
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,546
Gee, Dad,
92
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,750
you had this since the war.
93
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,181
Thanks.
94
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,261
Thanks, everybody.
95
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,305
God bless us, every one.
96
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:35,733
Navin.
97
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,860
Well, will you pass me the potatoes
98
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,653
and the collard greens?
99
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:45,570
Navin, darlin'?
100
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,785
I'm sorry I spoiled the party, Mom.
101
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,700
Aw, you didn't spoil the party.
102
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,292
Navin,
103
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,331
I brought you a Twinkie.
104
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,249
I'm not hungry right now.
105
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,678
You feelin' different again, huh?
106
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,761
It's like I don't fit in.
107
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:08,427
It's like I don't belong here.
108
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:11,346
It's your birthday,
109
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,470
and it's time you knew.
110
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,972
Navin, you're not our natural-born child.
111
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:23,614
I'm not?
112
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,070
You were left on our doorstep.
113
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,490
But we raised you like you were one of us.
114
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,123
You mean I'm gonna stay this color?
115
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,830
Navin, I'd love you
if you were the color
116
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,627
of a baboon's ass.
117
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:42,633
Come here.
118
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,214
Uh, Navin...
119
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,010
Navin, I... I wrapped your
sandwich in cellophane,
120
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,761
just like you like it.
121
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,899
You, uh, wanna come in
and sing some blues?
122
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,314
No thanks, Taj.
123
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,187
There's somethin' about those songs,
124
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,357
they depress me.
125
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,826
Come here, darlin'.
126
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,670
That's it, darlin'.
127
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,042
You're gettin' the rhythm, see?
128
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,011
And that
concludes this Sunday Night
129
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:40,140
Gospel Hour live from the
Four Square Gospel Church
130
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:43,268
at the Divine Salvation
in St. Louis, Missouri.
131
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,691
The Rev. Williard Willman, Pastor.
132
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,064
And now, Music Throughout the Night.
133
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,986
Music in a mellow mood.
134
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,809
Grandma!
135
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,356
Grandma!
136
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:09,194
What happened?
137
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,404
What happened?
138
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,523
Don't touch that radio!
139
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,489
Don't touch it!
140
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,983
Turn it up, turn it up!
141
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:14,825
This is unbelievable!
142
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,117
I've never heard music like this before!
143
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:19,455
It speaks to me!
144
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,457
Taj, Dad.
145
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,290
This is unbelievable.
146
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,080
Now watch, now watch.
147
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,173
Yeah.
148
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,212
Well, if this is out there,
149
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,711
think how much more is out there!
150
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,213
This is the kind of music that tells me
151
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,840
to go out there and be somebody!
152
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,308
But, Navin.
153
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,347
Let him go.
154
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,028
Son, now that you're goin'
155
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,614
out into the world,
156
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,279
there's, uh, somethin' you should know.
157
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,862
You see that?
158
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,238
Yeah.
159
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,534
That's shit.
160
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,576
And this, Shinola.
161
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:09,840
Shit.
162
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,125
Shinola.
163
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:16,049
Son, you're gonna be all right.
164
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,969
Now what town are you gonna try for first?
165
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,058
Well, I thought I'd
try to go to St. Louis
166
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,519
'cause that's where that
radio show was coming from.
167
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,308
And remember,
168
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,523
the Lord loves a workin' man.
169
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,766
Lord loves a workin' man.
170
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,484
And Son, don't never,
171
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,444
ever trust whitey.
172
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,278
Don't trust whitey.
173
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,442
The Lord loves a workin' man,
174
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,656
don't trust whitey.
175
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:38,985
Oh, baby.
176
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,163
Daddy.
177
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,242
Pierre, come here.
178
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,915
Don't you forget to grow up now.
179
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:49,753
Good luck.
180
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,873
Send me a picture postcard.
181
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,795
Don't forget, baby.
182
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,419
Okay, okay, let the boy go.
183
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,260
Bye.
184
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,380
We got work to do.
185
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,804
And I hope you find whatever
it is you're looking for.
186
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,271
I will, Ma.
187
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,184
I know it's out there.
188
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,227
It's out there all right,
189
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,224
and if you catch it,
190
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,522
see a doctor and get rid of it.
191
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,191
See a doctor and get rid of it.
192
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,028
Good luck.
193
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,021
The Lord loves a workin' man.
194
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,398
Don't trust whitey.
195
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,899
See a doctor and get rid of it.
196
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,781
Bye, Grandma.
197
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,548
Oh, I sure do miss Navin.
198
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,594
Is he ever comin' back?
199
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,388
Take away his place settin'.
200
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,637
It's making us too goddamn sad.
201
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,609
I wonder if he's doin' all right.
202
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,527
Hey, Navin, how you doin'?
203
00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,899
Don't worry 'bout me.
204
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,491
I think I see a car comin'.
205
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,236
No wait, it's a truck.
206
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,247
It's a truck.
207
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,499
Oh, Lord,
208
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,998
take care of our little boy.
209
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,758
I'm hitchhikin'.
210
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,171
How far you goin'?
211
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,010
St. Louis.
212
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,129
How far are you goin'?
213
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:22,801
To the end of this fence.
214
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,726
Okay.
215
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,639
I'm Navin Johnson.
216
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,106
What's your name, sir?
217
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,109
Here we are.
218
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,195
Okay.
219
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:44,694
Thanks for the company.
220
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:49,540
I hope I can repay you someday.
221
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,090
Well, what is it, boy?
222
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,049
Are you lost?
223
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,882
Do you want to play?
224
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,629
Is it trouble?
225
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:48,934
Trouble?
226
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,052
Is it an accident?
227
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,892
A drownin'?
228
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:54,898
A fire?
229
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,648
Fire.
230
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,315
Gosh, we've got to warn everybody.
231
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,065
I've heard about dogs like you.
232
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,533
You're gonna be famous.
233
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,903
You're gonna... You're gonna
get your picture taken,
234
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,155
and they'll put it in the paper.
235
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,656
Gosh, this is excitin'.
236
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:13,828
You saved my life.
237
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,328
Come on, let's warn everybody.
238
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,714
Fire, It's a fire!
239
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:22,670
There's a fire!
240
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,168
Everybody!
241
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,760
Wake up, there's a fire!
242
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:28,597
This dog, he's saving everybody's life!
243
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:29,760
He's unbelievable.
244
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:30,678
He's some dog.
245
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,221
He's a lifesaver.
246
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,639
That's what I'll call him, too.
247
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,978
Old Lifesaver.
248
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,143
That's gonna be your name!
249
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,978
Folks, false alarm.
250
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,229
There's no fire.
251
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:48,568
Hey, mister, don't call
that dog "Lifesaver."
252
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:49,489
No?
253
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,157
Call him "Shithead."
254
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,455
Good, Shithead.
255
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,576
It's excitin'.
256
00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:01,963
It's just exciting to have
this kind of life on the road.
257
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,332
A guy and his dog.
258
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,304
St. Louis?
259
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,299
No, Navin Johnson.
260
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,050
No, do you want a lift to St. Louis?
261
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,142
Oh!
262
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:15,386
Okay, thanks.
263
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:16,396
Hop in.
264
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,603
This will be fine.
265
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,610
Right here.
266
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,412
Thank you.
267
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,372
Where you goin'?
268
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,742
To the bathroom.
269
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,209
You gotta have a key.
270
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,544
Can I get one?
271
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,253
My key is for customers who buy gas.
272
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,256
Oh!
273
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,129
I'm buying gas.
274
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,135
I don't see no car.
275
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,883
I just need enough for my lighter.
276
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:51,801
Oh, look at this.
277
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,470
And my wife wanted me to stay home today.
278
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,842
Look what I would have missed.
279
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,720
A complete fill-up for
a whole lighter, huh?
280
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,561
It's on that wall.
281
00:14:58,564 --> 00:14:59,564
Thank you.
282
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:09,656
And don't walk away with it.
283
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:10,659
I won't.
284
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,361
Hey, pop-top.
285
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,329
Hey, silverbird, I'm talkin' to you.
286
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,743
Huh?
287
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,992
Listen, you wanna be
president of the Texaco Oil?
288
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,083
Then clean up the sink in there.
289
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,125
Then I'll be president of Texaco Oil?
290
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,547
Whatever happened to
workin' your way up?
291
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,137
He starts workin' for me
292
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,473
10 minutes and already
he wants to be president.
293
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,225
Get to work in there.
294
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:40,346
But, sir, I don't work here.
295
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,722
Not even for $1.10 an hour?
296
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,460
Dear Folks, I got
this great job in a gas station.
297
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,554
I don't wanna say how much I'm getting,
298
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,923
but let's just say it's a lot.
299
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,049
I'm enclosing $2.
300
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,555
That's a good boy.
301
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:21,932
It's a lot of fun working
302
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:24,101
and Mr. Hartounian is really nice.
303
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,725
He's teaching me how to be impatient.
304
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:27,772
Navin!
305
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,519
Well, I gotta go now.
306
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:30,771
What do you think I do,
307
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,067
write letters all day?
308
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:36,492
You actually sleep here?
309
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,496
Yes, is that okay?
310
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,246
Come with me.
311
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,616
I got a beautiful little
place for you to stay.
312
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:43,959
Put the light on.
313
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,202
You're gonna like it here.
314
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,497
Like it?
315
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,999
I love it!
316
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,716
This is fabulous!
317
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:52,800
I mean,
318
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,840
you got the toilet here.
319
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,634
This must be the kitchen, no.
320
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:02,057
You know, what I could
do is take this wall
321
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,645
and just turn it this way so I've got
322
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,355
a much larger living space,
323
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,317
plus it'll create a flow
into the main living area.
324
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:09,400
It'll be incredible.
325
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,895
No, no, I'll just elevate
this about 6 inches.
326
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,647
Create the illusion of two rooms
327
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,945
and yet still have that flow.
328
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:19,036
Then I can take bookshelves
and put them here.
329
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,405
No, I'll put the books right over here.
330
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,872
That way I can be relaxed over here.
331
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,207
The customers come in and use the urinal.
332
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,041
Navin, Navin,
333
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:25,875
I won't disturb them,
334
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:26,914
they won't disturb me.
335
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,833
Take it easy, it's not here.
336
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,046
It's in here.
337
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,049
Oh!
338
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,088
I couldn't afford this, anyway.
339
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,054
Well, this is it.
340
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,635
It's perfect.
341
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,884
I won't have to change this at all.
342
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,894
Take a look.
343
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,099
No kitchen, no windows,
344
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,018
no chairs, no tables.
345
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,016
It's a masterpiece of understatement.
346
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,233
I'll put a bed down here,
347
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,317
get a bigger bulb.
348
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,562
I'll bring some sheets from the house.
349
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,656
You'll be set for life.
350
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:56,658
Gosh!
351
00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:00,152
How much is this gonna cost me?
352
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,278
Nothin'.
353
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,075
When you're rich and famous,
354
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,870
you'll send me a postcard.
355
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,617
A postcard, huh?
356
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,630
Okay, It's a deal.
357
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,003
It's a deal.
358
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,677
What are those?
359
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:24,142
Step outside for a second, darlin'.
360
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,386
Navin, this is my wife, Lenore.
361
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:26,477
Lenore, this is Navin.
362
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,889
Pleased to meet you.
363
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,686
Navin, do you know why a
woman of such pulchritude
364
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,525
is married to a man like me?
365
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,520
'Cause I make a very comfortable living.
366
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,486
And this is the first time
367
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,196
I'm leaving you alone on a Sunday.
368
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,735
If anything should happen to this station,
369
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,735
this woman would leave me like a pfft.
370
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:46,365
In other words, there
would be no more, uh...
371
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,707
Do you know what I'm talkin' about?
372
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:48,710
Yes, sir, no more,
373
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:54,790
So remember, guard this
station with your life.
374
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,417
Because my sex life is in your hands.
375
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,264
I can fix those shocks.
376
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:14,564
No, no, we just want some gas, muchacho.
377
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:15,560
Okay, but it's Sunday.
378
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,028
We got to have a credit card.
379
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,691
Then all the cash is locked up?
380
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,317
Oh, no, not locked up.
381
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,444
We got a lot of cash.
382
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:24,820
It's just that the banks are closed,
383
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,664
and I'm not allowed to have
cash coming in or going out
384
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,454
'cause I'm here all
alone for the first time.
385
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,746
I don't want anything to happen.
386
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,710
And you know, you flash this kind of wad
387
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:33,624
in front of some people,
388
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,042
they'll kill you for it.
389
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,631
So we got to have a credit card.
390
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,759
Hey, Trin, have you got
a credit card in there?
391
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:40,593
Huh?
392
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,132
Credit card, de volada.
393
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:51,187
Oh, no thanks, I don't smoke.
394
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,397
What kind of cigarette is that?
395
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,857
A joint.
396
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,441
Joint?
397
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:56,810
They don't make 'em very good.
398
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,107
Master Charge do?
399
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:58,945
Yeah, that's fine.
400
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,860
We take Master Charge.
401
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:01,697
You want a fill-up,
402
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,658
uh, Mrs. Nussbaum?
403
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,621
Oh, I'm Mr. Nussbaum.
404
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,373
Yeah, that-that's his wife's card.
405
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,409
His wife's card, huh?
406
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,127
Yeah, I'll vouch for him.
407
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,873
Okay, as long as we've got a voucher.
408
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:28,977
Stolen?
409
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,664
I got it.
410
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,124
Just send a police car over.
411
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,662
Mrs. Nussbaum's credit card.
412
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,914
I got the guys who stole it.
413
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:01,166
Hold on, they're calling me.
414
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,177
I'll be right back.
415
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,264
Yes?
416
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,429
Yeah, throw a couple
of tires in the trunk.
417
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,512
Put it on the card, Radials.
418
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:14,353
Okay.
419
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:15,221
Make them whitewalls.
420
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,894
Yes, sir, Mr. Nussbaum.
421
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,197
I'm back.
422
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,032
Only, it's worst than I thought.
423
00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:28,197
They're not only sticking us for gas,
424
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:30,412
but they're grabbing tires and everything.
425
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:32,246
They're really socking it to us.
426
00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:34,787
Yeah, it's Hartounian's
Gas Station at the corner.
427
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:35,910
Hang on a second.
428
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,661
I don't want to get them suspicious.
429
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,214
Don't worry, I can keep them here.
430
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,708
I saw this trick in a movie.
431
00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:48,721
Got your tires.
432
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:50,056
Yeah, yeah, good.
433
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,389
Anything else?
434
00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:36,352
Yeah.
435
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:38,517
We'll take that money
you got in your pocket.
436
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,390
Oh, sure.
437
00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:41,767
I'll just put it on the card.
438
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:45,486
Hey, guess what?
439
00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:47,697
You are our eighth customer today.
440
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,942
You won a free oven mitt.
441
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:52,239
Hah, I'll go get it for you.
442
00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:09,969
Yeah, I'm back, Uh-huh.
443
00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:12,634
Yeah, they're gonna be here for a while.
444
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:13,882
Don't worry.
445
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,509
I rigged it.
446
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,852
You guys wanna stick
around for an oven mitt?
447
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,189
Nah!
448
00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:26,687
Hang on just a second.
449
00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:54,426
Um, they might not be here exactly,
450
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,642
uh, when you get back but, uh, it's a...
451
00:23:57,645 --> 00:24:00,058
It's a blue Chevy two-door,
452
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:04,357
and it'll be going
south on Hertodo Street.
453
00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:08,274
No, I can't make out
the license number but,
454
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,818
uh, it'll be pulling a small church.
455
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:14,317
So, any blue Chevy pulling a small church,
456
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:15,819
I figure that that'd be the one.
457
00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:17,240
Yeah, Uh-huh.
458
00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:20,745
Believe me, I'm not mad at you.
459
00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:21,582
What's the matter with you?
460
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:22,416
What did I lose?
461
00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:23,419
A couple of tires?
462
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:27,584
Look at the bright side,
463
00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,708
we also lost a church.
464
00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:33,177
Gee, Mr. Hartounian.
465
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:35,926
Gee, Mr. Hartounian!
466
00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:39,099
Oh, my God!
467
00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:42,605
Thank you.
468
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:54,101
The new phone book's here!
469
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,701
Boy, I wish I could get
that excited about nothin'.
470
00:24:56,704 --> 00:24:58,320
Nothing, Are you kidding?
471
00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,992
Page 73.
472
00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:03,242
Johnson, Navin R.
473
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:05,244
I'm somebody now!
474
00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:07,837
Millions of people look
at this book every day.
475
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,207
This is the kind of spontaneous publicity
476
00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:11,708
your name in print,
477
00:25:11,719 --> 00:25:12,719
that makes people!
478
00:25:14,805 --> 00:25:15,805
I'm in print.
479
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:20,759
Things are going to start
happening to me now.
480
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:27,023
Johnson, Navin R.
481
00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:29,188
Sounds like a typical bastard.
482
00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:36,366
Die, Navin R. Johnson!
483
00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:40,244
Bastard.
484
00:25:40,247 --> 00:25:41,783
Random son of a bitch.
485
00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:44,032
Typical run-of-the-mill bastard.
486
00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:45,124
Fill her up?
487
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:46,083
Fill her up, son,
488
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:47,372
and a little bit extra.
489
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:48,495
Stan Fox, buying gas.
490
00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:51,213
Navin R. Johnson selling it, sir.
491
00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:54,380
Got you, you average, typical,
492
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:58,505
blocking-of-the-view of a
goddamn average victim bastard.
493
00:25:58,515 --> 00:25:59,631
Check your oil?
494
00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:01,553
Check away, Navin R. Johnson.
495
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,176
Oil rag at the ready, sir.
496
00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:04,394
Let's check the oil together.
497
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:06,308
Yes, sir.
498
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:07,522
Thank you, sir.
499
00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:11,772
Son-of-a-blocking bastard.
500
00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:13,527
Looks good to me, sir,
501
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,567
but I'd like your opinion.
502
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,406
Damn these glasses.
503
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:18,399
It looks good to me, too.
504
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:19,241
Hurry up, son,
505
00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:20,109
time's a-wastin'.
506
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,201
I'm going to the john.
507
00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:22,821
Don't forget to check those tires.
508
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:24,288
Damn these glasses, son.
509
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:26,749
Yes, sir, I damn thee.
510
00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:29,460
Damn.
511
00:26:34,218 --> 00:26:36,255
Damn these glasses!
512
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:37,377
Sir.
513
00:26:37,387 --> 00:26:39,049
I can fix those glasses.
514
00:26:39,056 --> 00:26:39,921
You can?
515
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,673
Well, here, fix those suckers.
516
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,503
Sir, Guess what?
517
00:27:15,509 --> 00:27:16,509
I fixed them.
518
00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:19,673
I was back there thinking,
519
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,844
"What causes glasses to slip on and off?"
520
00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,558
And it's because when
you take them on and off,
521
00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:27,894
you're always putting pressure
on the frames like this.
522
00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:29,512
It causes 'em to spread.
523
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:32,891
So I put a little handle
right here in the center,
524
00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:35,268
and it puts the pressure on
the bridge where it belongs,
525
00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:37,612
just like the tie rods on a '72 Buick.
526
00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:39,731
Plus, I put a little
nose break on them here
527
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:40,606
to prevent slippage.
528
00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:41,617
Try it.
529
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:43,411
Use the handle.
530
00:27:47,249 --> 00:27:48,249
Well, I'll be...
531
00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:51,377
It works.
532
00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:54,120
You know, I make a pretty good living
533
00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:55,087
selling shit like this.
534
00:27:55,090 --> 00:27:56,752
I'll tell you what,
535
00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:58,124
if I can develop this gizmo,
536
00:27:58,135 --> 00:27:59,501
I'll split it with you 50/50.
537
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:00,968
Okay.
538
00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:01,802
How much do I owe you for the gas?
539
00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:03,216
I got a trunk load of shit to sell.
540
00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:04,339
$26.41.
541
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:05,385
Here's triple dicks.
542
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:06,303
Keep the change.
543
00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:07,310
Wow, Thanks.
544
00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:12,771
Dead center!
545
00:28:12,774 --> 00:28:15,141
Say your prayers, half-breed!
546
00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:26,402
Hey, Harry.
547
00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:27,995
Look at this.
548
00:28:27,998 --> 00:28:29,660
What's the matter with these cans?
549
00:28:31,418 --> 00:28:33,080
Die, Milk Face!
550
00:28:36,465 --> 00:28:38,081
These cans are defective.
551
00:28:38,091 --> 00:28:39,832
They're springing leaks.
552
00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:41,425
Come over here and look at this.
553
00:28:42,638 --> 00:28:43,674
Listen, you better run for cover
554
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:44,841
or you're gonna spring a leak.
555
00:28:44,848 --> 00:28:45,679
Uh?
556
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:46,513
We don't have defective cans.
557
00:28:46,516 --> 00:28:48,724
We have a defective person out there.
558
00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:53,555
He hates these cans.
559
00:28:54,942 --> 00:28:57,104
Stay away from the cans!
560
00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:59,227
Die, gas pumper!
561
00:29:00,364 --> 00:29:01,605
I got to get away from those cans.
562
00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:05,324
There's cans in there, too.
563
00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:09,997
More cans.
564
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:12,824
Die, you bastard.
565
00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:17,127
He doesn't want to
put holes in the cans.
566
00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:19,213
He wants to put holes in you.
567
00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:20,216
What?
568
00:29:24,221 --> 00:29:25,837
Milk face bastard!
569
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:28,097
Oh, my God.
570
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:29,136
I'm endangering your life.
571
00:29:29,142 --> 00:29:30,383
Cover me.
572
00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:32,260
You're covered.
573
00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:33,478
Suck my toes!
574
00:29:38,819 --> 00:29:39,650
You stay here.
575
00:29:39,653 --> 00:29:41,110
I'll distract him.
576
00:29:56,420 --> 00:29:57,877
Shithead, Come on!
577
00:30:00,674 --> 00:30:02,210
Come on, boy.
578
00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:03,217
Good boy.
579
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:35,865
Carnival personnel only, damn!
580
00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:42,667
Shithead, come on!
581
00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:45,291
You're not carnival personnel!
582
00:30:48,305 --> 00:30:49,341
Come on, boy, come on.
583
00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:51,965
Hey, he ain't no carnival personnel.
584
00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:56,136
Okay, you move it out.
585
00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:04,818
So, Mom, when I told Mr.
Hartounian I'd come back,
586
00:31:04,821 --> 00:31:07,063
he said "Don't be a putz.
587
00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:08,110
See the world.
588
00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:09,857
Me, you've seen already."
589
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:13,282
I took his advice and got
a job with SJM Fiesta Shows
590
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:14,495
as a weight guesser.
591
00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:17,036
Frosty, my boss, told
me there's a big future
592
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:18,453
in weight guessing.
593
00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:19,460
Enclosed is $4.75
594
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:22,082
for my loving family.
595
00:31:23,090 --> 00:31:26,003
P.S. Is Grandma still fartin'?
596
00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:27,500
For $1,
597
00:31:27,511 --> 00:31:28,718
I'll guess your weight,
598
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,133
your height, or your sex.
599
00:31:31,139 --> 00:31:33,631
The most exciting thing on the midway.
600
00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:36,305
Imagine the thrill of getting your weight
601
00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:38,394
guessed by a professional.
602
00:31:38,397 --> 00:31:39,763
You can blow up your cheeks,
603
00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:41,309
you can stick out your chest,
604
00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:44,104
but you're not going to fool the guesser.
605
00:31:44,111 --> 00:31:45,101
How about you, sir?
606
00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:46,648
Step right up.
607
00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:48,692
Honey, let's see how good this guy is.
608
00:31:48,698 --> 00:31:50,314
Now, what do I win?
609
00:31:50,325 --> 00:31:55,070
Uh, anything in this
general area, right in here.
610
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,242
Anything below the stereo,
611
00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:59,582
and on this side of the
bicentennial glasses.
612
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:03,919
Anything between the
ashtrays and the thimble.
613
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,255
Anything in these three inches.
614
00:32:06,258 --> 00:32:07,999
Right in here, in this area,
615
00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:10,752
that includes the Chiclets
but not the erasers.
616
00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:11,593
No, sir.
617
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:12,712
Come on, honey.
618
00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:14,384
He thought he had himself a rube.
619
00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:20,687
Frosty, I am just no good at this.
620
00:32:20,689 --> 00:32:21,520
Oh, come on, Navin,
621
00:32:21,523 --> 00:32:22,354
you're doing fine.
622
00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:24,770
No, I've already given
away eight pencils,
623
00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:26,392
two hula dolls, and an ashtray,
624
00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:28,986
and I've only taken in $15.
625
00:32:28,989 --> 00:32:31,697
Navin, you have taken in $15
626
00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:33,441
and given away 50 cents'
627
00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:35,068
worth of crap.
628
00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:37,570
Which gives us a net profit of $14.50.
629
00:32:40,250 --> 00:32:41,250
Ah!
630
00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:46,204
It's a profit deal.
631
00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:50,959
That takes the pressure off.
632
00:32:52,554 --> 00:32:54,591
Get your weight guessed right here.
633
00:32:54,598 --> 00:32:55,839
Only $1.
634
00:32:55,849 --> 00:32:57,090
Actual live weight guessing.
635
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:59,217
Take a chance and win some crap.
636
00:32:59,227 --> 00:33:01,139
Step right up.
637
00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:03,263
Ladies and gentlemen,
638
00:33:03,273 --> 00:33:08,234
I draw your attention now to
the left side of our midway,
639
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:11,605
presenting the amazing Patty Bernstein
640
00:33:14,284 --> 00:33:18,995
doing her special ride through
the Flaming Wall of Death.
641
00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:27,017
Wanna guess my weight, greenie?
642
00:34:27,023 --> 00:34:28,230
I saw you last night.
643
00:34:28,233 --> 00:34:29,724
You were great.
644
00:34:29,734 --> 00:34:31,066
Yeah, right.
645
00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:32,069
Turn around.
646
00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:33,735
What?
647
00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:35,024
Turn around.
648
00:34:38,326 --> 00:34:39,326
Go like this.
649
00:34:43,123 --> 00:34:45,080
You're okay.
650
00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:46,665
Give me a bite of that corn dog.
651
00:34:47,669 --> 00:34:49,205
What about germs?
652
00:34:50,213 --> 00:34:51,213
Put a rubber on it.
653
00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:55,259
Get on.
654
00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:03,803
Don't you wear him out.
655
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:05,847
He's got to work tonight.
656
00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:13,517
What a great place.
657
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,197
You know, you can tell
so much about a person
658
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:20,736
from the way they live.
659
00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:22,076
Just looking around here,
660
00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:25,071
I can tell you're a
genuinely dirty person.
661
00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:30,827
What do I do with this?
662
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:35,669
Oh, you keep it there.
663
00:35:40,555 --> 00:35:41,671
Where's your garbage?
664
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:52,682
Do you know what I'd like to do?
665
00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:53,692
What?
666
00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:56,565
Guess your weight.
667
00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:58,278
Hey, that would be interesting for me.
668
00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:00,648
No one has tried to guess my weight.
669
00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:01,991
You see, I guess their weights.
670
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:02,824
It'd be sort of a...
671
00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:03,827
Put your arms up.
672
00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:09,324
This will give me a whole
different perspective on this.
673
00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:16,505
Hey, you're really trying to be accurate.
674
00:36:22,889 --> 00:36:25,006
Is it getting hot in here?
675
00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:28,259
Wait a minute!
676
00:36:28,269 --> 00:36:30,556
What's happening to my special purpose?
677
00:36:30,563 --> 00:36:31,770
What's your "special purpose"?
678
00:36:31,773 --> 00:36:32,980
Well, when I was a kid,
679
00:36:32,982 --> 00:36:35,224
my mom told me that was my special purpose
680
00:36:35,235 --> 00:36:38,353
and someday I'd find out what
that special purpose was.
681
00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:39,399
Today's the day!
682
00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,661
Hey, this is like a ride.
683
00:36:49,541 --> 00:36:52,955
My Dear Family, guess what?
684
00:36:54,379 --> 00:36:59,044
Today I found out what my
special purpose is for.
685
00:37:00,677 --> 00:37:03,340
Gosh, what a great time I had.
686
00:37:04,264 --> 00:37:07,757
I wish the whole family
could have been here with me.
687
00:37:08,727 --> 00:37:10,764
Maybe some other time
688
00:37:11,688 --> 00:37:14,351
as I intend to do this a lot
689
00:37:15,608 --> 00:37:17,474
every chance I get.
690
00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:22,112
I think next week I'll be
able to send more money
691
00:37:22,115 --> 00:37:25,074
as I may have extra work.
692
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:28,319
My friend Patty promised me a blowjob.
693
00:37:28,329 --> 00:37:29,695
Your lovin' son, Navin.
694
00:37:30,999 --> 00:37:32,786
And he's got the kisses here.
695
00:37:35,378 --> 00:37:37,995
That Patty must be a sweet girl.
696
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:40,089
God bless her.
697
00:38:07,035 --> 00:38:09,118
Do you ever think
we'll get to know each other
698
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,077
well enough to kiss?
699
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:12,287
We don't have to.
700
00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:13,497
You're my man.
701
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:15,036
It's like we're married.
702
00:38:15,043 --> 00:38:16,250
Look at my ass.
703
00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:19,166
Gosh!
704
00:38:19,172 --> 00:38:20,959
You have my last name tattooed
705
00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:22,501
right there under the "J's."
706
00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:25,668
First I get my name in the phone book,
707
00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:28,091
and now I'm on your ass.
708
00:38:28,097 --> 00:38:30,384
You know, I'll bet more people see that
709
00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:31,427
than the phone book.
710
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:47,068
End of the line.
711
00:38:47,075 --> 00:38:48,111
This is Engineer Fred.
712
00:38:48,117 --> 00:38:49,528
Come back and visit me again.
713
00:38:54,707 --> 00:38:55,993
Billy.
714
00:38:58,753 --> 00:38:59,753
Billy.
715
00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:01,839
Woo-woo!
716
00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:04,623
Have you seen a
5-year-old boy, blond hair,
717
00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:07,297
and he's wearing a T-shirt
that says "Bullshit" on it?
718
00:39:07,303 --> 00:39:08,965
No, there was just one kid earlier,
719
00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:10,053
had a T-shirt that said
720
00:39:10,056 --> 00:39:11,592
"Life sucks" on it.
721
00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:14,011
We got off the roundup
and he said he wanted to go
722
00:39:14,018 --> 00:39:15,350
on the trains.
723
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:16,184
Well, I don't think,
724
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:17,223
There he is, Billy!
725
00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:18,516
Hey, come back here!
726
00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:19,855
Billy, come on off that train!
727
00:39:19,858 --> 00:39:21,941
Pull that lever, Pull the lever!
728
00:39:21,943 --> 00:39:23,855
Here, hold that.
729
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:24,693
And these.
730
00:39:24,696 --> 00:39:25,696
Billy!
731
00:39:26,406 --> 00:39:28,022
And take my keys.
732
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,739
And hold my wallet.
733
00:39:29,742 --> 00:39:31,153
Okay.
734
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,617
Don't touch the Johnson bar.
735
00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:34,236
You'll explode the fuel casing.
736
00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:37,081
And if the Wilson-Smith
indicator gets above 160,
737
00:39:37,083 --> 00:39:38,039
just turn that little...
738
00:39:38,042 --> 00:39:40,250
Billy, I can't take
you anywhere anymore!
739
00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:41,539
There's a little screwdriver there.
740
00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:42,377
Just put it in,
741
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:43,871
turn it one-quarter.
742
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:45,623
We're going into the tunnel.
743
00:39:45,633 --> 00:39:48,546
Don't stand up because the
clearance is only four foot, ooh!
744
00:39:48,553 --> 00:39:50,135
Oh, no!
745
00:39:50,138 --> 00:39:51,845
I'm okay, I was protected by the bill
746
00:39:51,848 --> 00:39:53,805
of my Engineer Fred cap.
747
00:40:09,782 --> 00:40:11,273
Thanks for pulling my cap down.
748
00:40:13,953 --> 00:40:14,784
Oh, Billy.
749
00:40:14,787 --> 00:40:17,951
Billy, you scared me half to death.
750
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:19,368
Thank you so much.
751
00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:20,491
It would have been so embarrassing
752
00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:22,333
to go home without Billy.
753
00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:27,298
Oh, here's your gloves and
your oil can and your wallet.
754
00:40:27,884 --> 00:40:30,046
Oh, and this fell out.
755
00:40:30,053 --> 00:40:31,510
Hah!
756
00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:34,181
Those guys.
757
00:40:35,183 --> 00:40:39,518
Listen, what you did
just now was very brave.
758
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,012
Is there some way I could repay you?
759
00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:43,389
Repay me?
760
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:45,015
I could never accept anything from you
761
00:40:45,026 --> 00:40:46,938
for saving your child.
762
00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:48,857
Oh, he's not my child.
763
00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:51,276
I'm just babysitting for a friend.
764
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:54,241
Oh, Would it be too much
if I asked for a kiss?
765
00:40:54,243 --> 00:40:55,243
No.
766
00:40:58,623 --> 00:41:00,034
He's a real little dickens.
767
00:41:09,384 --> 00:41:10,384
Thank you.
768
00:41:14,931 --> 00:41:15,931
Oh, Miss?
769
00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:20,684
I was, I was just standing here right now
770
00:41:20,687 --> 00:41:23,270
and I was wondering if you
weren't doing anything tomorrow
771
00:41:26,943 --> 00:41:31,904
that maybe you might
wanna go out or
772
00:41:34,117 --> 00:41:39,078
I thought maybe
you might wanna go out with me.
773
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:41,287
Are you trying to ask me for a date?
774
00:41:43,126 --> 00:41:44,992
Well...
775
00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:48,121
Once for no, twice for yes.
776
00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:52,592
Okay.
777
00:41:53,845 --> 00:41:55,381
Um, you're so cute.
778
00:41:56,431 --> 00:42:00,266
How about 3:30 tomorrow at the roundup?
779
00:42:00,268 --> 00:42:01,268
Okay.
780
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,271
Do you have any boyfriends?
781
00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:09,558
Not really.
782
00:42:09,569 --> 00:42:10,810
Are they crazy?
783
00:42:10,820 --> 00:42:11,651
If I was a fella,
784
00:42:11,654 --> 00:42:13,862
I'd be around all the time.
785
00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:16,323
Well, see if you can work it out.
786
00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:17,907
We have a date tomorrow.
787
00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:21,824
What's your name?
788
00:42:22,832 --> 00:42:23,832
Marie.
789
00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:26,784
What's yours?
790
00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:27,955
I'll tell you tomorrow.
791
00:42:27,962 --> 00:42:31,546
It'll give us something
interesting to talk about.
792
00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:49,357
Hi.
793
00:42:50,109 --> 00:42:51,316
What's up, hubby?
794
00:42:53,529 --> 00:42:54,610
I got these for you.
795
00:42:58,451 --> 00:42:59,987
Thanks.
796
00:42:59,994 --> 00:43:01,781
Navin, you know the other day
797
00:43:01,788 --> 00:43:03,404
when I showed you the tattoo?
798
00:43:03,414 --> 00:43:04,414
Yeah, Yeah.
799
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,037
Well, I forgot to tell you somethin'.
800
00:43:08,044 --> 00:43:09,455
Oh, really? What?
801
00:43:09,462 --> 00:43:10,293
This.
802
00:43:15,802 --> 00:43:18,510
And that's what's gonna happen to you
803
00:43:18,513 --> 00:43:21,130
if I ever catch you
looking at another broad.
804
00:43:22,183 --> 00:43:23,219
I'm glad you told me.
805
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:24,683
And remember,
806
00:43:24,685 --> 00:43:26,597
I did this without anger.
807
00:43:27,814 --> 00:43:29,851
And I stayed away from your crotch.
808
00:43:32,026 --> 00:43:33,233
Bye, sweetie.
809
00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:37,229
Hi.
810
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:38,947
What happened?
811
00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:40,907
Oh, it was unbelievable.
812
00:43:40,910 --> 00:43:42,151
These guys jumped me.
813
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:43,902
Tried to get these flowers.
814
00:43:43,913 --> 00:43:45,279
I got 'em for you.
815
00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:47,246
It's kind of a traditional date deal.
816
00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:50,625
Yeah, I've heard of that.
817
00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:51,914
What were they?
818
00:43:51,921 --> 00:43:54,004
Uh, couple of dozen roses.
819
00:43:55,925 --> 00:43:57,712
Look like daisy stems.
820
00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:59,084
What?
821
00:43:59,095 --> 00:44:00,882
That guy gypped me.
822
00:44:00,888 --> 00:44:03,175
He put... put daisy stems on my roses.
823
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,262
Hey, look, these hoodlums are dangerous.
824
00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:09,012
I think we ought to get out
of here before she sees us.
825
00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:11,430
She?
826
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:12,772
What?
827
00:44:12,775 --> 00:44:14,266
You said "she."
828
00:44:14,277 --> 00:44:15,233
No. No.
829
00:44:15,236 --> 00:44:17,193
I always call a gang "she."
830
00:44:17,196 --> 00:44:18,983
It's like when you call a boat "she,"
831
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:20,902
or a hurricane "she."
832
00:44:20,908 --> 00:44:22,615
Or a girl?
833
00:44:22,618 --> 00:44:23,904
A girl.
834
00:44:23,911 --> 00:44:24,742
You can call a girl "she."
835
00:44:24,745 --> 00:44:27,613
That's just one of the many
things you can call "she."
836
00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:31,625
Why are you smiling?
837
00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:36,121
You're the first
person I've ever had in my place.
838
00:44:36,132 --> 00:44:37,668
Do you live here?
839
00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:38,711
Oh, it's nice.
840
00:44:38,718 --> 00:44:40,425
So, did you decorate it?
841
00:44:40,428 --> 00:44:42,590
I got all this stuff from
the old Cup O' Pizza place
842
00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:43,804
before they tore it down.
843
00:44:48,311 --> 00:44:50,052
That was really good pizza.
844
00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:52,019
Oh, this is the best
pizza in a cup ever.
845
00:44:52,023 --> 00:44:53,480
This guy's unbelievable.
846
00:44:53,482 --> 00:44:56,316
He ran the old Cup O'
Pizza guy out of business.
847
00:44:56,319 --> 00:44:57,150
Really?
848
00:44:57,153 --> 00:44:59,110
People come from all
over to get this, Uh-huh.
849
00:45:12,543 --> 00:45:14,159
You know,
850
00:45:14,170 --> 00:45:16,127
you have beautiful skin.
851
00:45:18,841 --> 00:45:19,841
May I?
852
00:45:20,801 --> 00:45:21,801
Yes.
853
00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:28,344
So smooth and flexible.
854
00:45:29,685 --> 00:45:32,598
I take after my mother's
side of the family.
855
00:45:32,605 --> 00:45:36,144
It's amazing the way it
just snaps back like that.
856
00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:37,150
Amazing.
857
00:45:38,527 --> 00:45:39,813
Are you a model?
858
00:45:39,820 --> 00:45:40,820
No.
859
00:45:43,157 --> 00:45:45,365
I'm a cosmetologist.
860
00:45:45,368 --> 00:45:47,735
Really? A cosmetologist?
861
00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:50,157
That's unbelievable.
862
00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:52,457
That's impressive.
863
00:45:53,793 --> 00:45:56,035
It must be tough to
handle the weightlessness.
864
00:45:58,297 --> 00:45:59,959
Can I ask you a personal question?
865
00:46:01,884 --> 00:46:02,884
What is it?
866
00:46:05,054 --> 00:46:06,465
Now be totally honest.
867
00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:10,056
You do have a boyfriend, don't you?
868
00:46:11,477 --> 00:46:12,477
Kind of.
869
00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:15,812
I know this is our first date but
870
00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:22,899
do you think the next time you
make love to your boyfriend,
871
00:46:24,740 --> 00:46:26,527
you could think of me?
872
00:46:26,534 --> 00:46:29,026
Well, I haven't made love to him yet.
873
00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:30,036
That's too bad.
874
00:46:31,372 --> 00:46:34,285
Do you think it's possible that some day
875
00:46:36,252 --> 00:46:39,086
you could make love with
me and think of him?
876
00:46:39,088 --> 00:46:40,670
Who knows?
877
00:46:40,673 --> 00:46:43,507
Maybe you and he can make love
and you could think of me.
878
00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:47,590
I'd just be happy to
be in there somewhere.
879
00:47:05,156 --> 00:47:06,613
Do you have a girlfriend?
880
00:47:06,615 --> 00:47:08,026
Does it matter?
881
00:47:08,034 --> 00:47:10,777
Well, I'd like to
think you were available.
882
00:47:10,786 --> 00:47:11,867
Oh, I'm available.
883
00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:25,373
Did you forget about my ass?
884
00:47:25,384 --> 00:47:28,092
No, No, I've been thinking about it.
885
00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:30,462
She tattooed my name on her ass.
886
00:47:30,473 --> 00:47:31,304
Not just my name,
887
00:47:31,307 --> 00:47:32,593
a lot of names.
888
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:33,841
And funny sayings, too.
889
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:36,685
She's got one up there that
says, "Slippery when wet."
890
00:47:36,687 --> 00:47:37,928
How do you know that?
891
00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:38,769
What is she?
892
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:39,934
Some great piece of ass?
893
00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:41,852
She's no great piece of ass.
894
00:47:43,027 --> 00:47:44,108
I mean, uh...
895
00:47:44,111 --> 00:47:45,318
Hey, wait... wait a minute.
896
00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:46,357
Wait a minute.
897
00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:47,855
We're all adults here.
898
00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:49,356
Let's reason this out.
899
00:47:49,367 --> 00:47:51,780
Now Marie is the type of
person that if you gotta...
900
00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:54,324
If this gash doesn't
get her buns out of here,
901
00:47:54,330 --> 00:47:56,822
I am gonna drive this bike up her butt!
902
00:47:56,832 --> 00:47:58,619
While Patty tends to be more direct.
903
00:47:58,626 --> 00:48:00,037
As for you, farm boy,
904
00:48:01,921 --> 00:48:02,786
we're married!
905
00:48:02,797 --> 00:48:05,164
And as for you, kewpie doll...
906
00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:09,922
You protected me!
907
00:48:09,929 --> 00:48:11,636
You must really like me.
908
00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:22,849
♪ I know, I know, you belong ♪
909
00:48:22,858 --> 00:48:27,774
♪ To somebody new ♪
910
00:48:28,114 --> 00:48:30,902
♪ But tonight ♪
911
00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:35,869
♪ You belong to me ♪
912
00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:44,082
♪ Although, although we're apart ♪
913
00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:49,049
♪ You're a part of my heart ♪
914
00:48:49,677 --> 00:48:52,090
♪ And tonight ♪
915
00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:57,057
♪ You belong to me ♪
916
00:49:00,062 --> 00:49:02,725
♪ Way down ♪
917
00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:05,439
♪ By the stream ♪
918
00:49:05,443 --> 00:49:07,901
♪ How sweet ♪
919
00:49:07,903 --> 00:49:10,691
♪ It will seem ♪
920
00:49:10,698 --> 00:49:15,659
♪ Once more, just to dream ♪
921
00:49:15,828 --> 00:49:19,913
♪ In the moonlight ♪
922
00:49:19,915 --> 00:49:24,205
♪ My Honey, I know, I know ♪
923
00:49:24,211 --> 00:49:26,544
♪ With the dawn ♪
924
00:49:26,547 --> 00:49:29,130
♪ That you ♪
925
00:49:29,133 --> 00:49:31,876
♪ Will be gone ♪
926
00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:34,424
♪ But tonight ♪
927
00:49:34,430 --> 00:49:38,845
♪ You belong to me ♪
928
00:49:38,851 --> 00:49:42,219
♪ Just to little old me ♪
929
00:50:13,135 --> 00:50:14,135
You know,
930
00:50:15,012 --> 00:50:16,924
while you were playing that just now,
931
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,013
I had the craziest fantasy
that I could rise up.
932
00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:28,269
Float right down the end of this cornet.
933
00:50:29,318 --> 00:50:31,310
Right through here.
934
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:32,401
Through these valves,
935
00:50:33,656 --> 00:50:35,022
right along this tube,
936
00:50:36,575 --> 00:50:38,441
come right up against your lips,
937
00:50:39,787 --> 00:50:40,787
and give you a kiss.
938
00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:47,284
Why didn't you?
939
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:48,910
I didn't want to get spit on me.
940
00:51:42,141 --> 00:51:44,178
Was it good for you, too?
941
00:51:47,730 --> 00:51:50,268
I really do want to kiss you.
942
00:51:52,234 --> 00:51:53,441
But I'm afraid.
943
00:51:54,403 --> 00:51:56,440
I would've kept my tongue in.
944
00:51:56,447 --> 00:51:57,483
No, I mean,
945
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:02,488
I'm afraid if I kiss you,
946
00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:07,288
I'll fall in love with you.
947
00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:08,291
You will?
948
00:52:10,044 --> 00:52:12,707
And I don't want to.
949
00:52:12,713 --> 00:52:13,713
You don't?
950
00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,878
My mother sacrificed
everything to send me
951
00:52:17,885 --> 00:52:19,467
through cosmetology school.
952
00:52:20,763 --> 00:52:21,763
She did?
953
00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:27,100
She has this dream
for me to be something.
954
00:52:27,102 --> 00:52:28,102
She does?
955
00:52:29,772 --> 00:52:34,733
To marry someone with
power, money, vision.
956
00:52:36,695 --> 00:52:39,187
Someone with a special purpose.
957
00:52:42,951 --> 00:52:44,567
I've got one!
958
00:52:44,578 --> 00:52:46,786
I've got a special purpose!
959
00:52:47,665 --> 00:52:48,621
You do?
960
00:52:48,624 --> 00:52:50,991
Yes, it's fantastic!
961
00:52:51,001 --> 00:52:52,287
It's great!
962
00:52:52,294 --> 00:52:54,001
It's unbelievable!
963
00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:56,337
And I was afraid to tell you about it!
964
00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:58,627
Your mother's gonna love me!
965
00:53:01,553 --> 00:53:03,010
Marie, are you awake?
966
00:53:05,474 --> 00:53:06,474
Good.
967
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,927
You look so beautiful and peaceful,
968
00:53:10,938 --> 00:53:12,145
you almost look dead.
969
00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:18,652
And I'm glad because there's
something I wanna say
970
00:53:18,654 --> 00:53:21,021
that's always been very
difficult for me to say.
971
00:53:23,492 --> 00:53:24,323
I slit the sheet,
972
00:53:24,326 --> 00:53:25,157
the sheet I slit,
973
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:26,651
and on the slitted sheet I sit.
974
00:53:29,790 --> 00:53:31,827
I've never been relaxed
enough around anyone
975
00:53:31,834 --> 00:53:32,995
to be able to say that.
976
00:53:34,545 --> 00:53:36,377
You give me confidence in myself.
977
00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:39,797
I know we've only known each other
978
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:42,713
for four weeks and three days,
979
00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:46,555
but to me it seems like
nine weeks and five days.
980
00:53:49,101 --> 00:53:50,842
The first day seemed like a week.
981
00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:55,021
And the second day seemed like five days.
982
00:53:56,108 --> 00:53:58,976
And the third day seemed
like a week again.
983
00:53:58,986 --> 00:54:01,820
And the fourth day seemed like eight days.
984
00:54:03,198 --> 00:54:04,439
But the fifth day,
985
00:54:04,450 --> 00:54:06,316
you went to see your mother.
986
00:54:06,326 --> 00:54:08,283
And that seemed just like a day.
987
00:54:09,204 --> 00:54:13,824
But then you came back and
later on the sixth day,
988
00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:16,121
in the evening, when we saw each other,
989
00:54:16,128 --> 00:54:19,587
that started seeming like two days.
990
00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:21,338
So in the evening,
991
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:24,175
it seemed like two days
spilling over into the next day.
992
00:54:24,178 --> 00:54:26,261
And that started seeming like four days.
993
00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:28,971
So at the end of the sixth day,
994
00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:30,431
on into the seventh day,
995
00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:32,300
it seemed like a total of five days.
996
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:38,436
And the sixth day seemed
like a week and a half.
997
00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:42,063
I have it written down but I can,
998
00:54:42,070 --> 00:54:44,528
I can show it to you
tomorrow if you wanna see it.
999
00:54:45,824 --> 00:54:47,156
Anyway,
1000
00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:49,526
I've decided that tomorrow,
1001
00:54:50,579 --> 00:54:51,740
when the time is right,
1002
00:54:53,582 --> 00:54:55,039
I'm gonna ask you to marry me.
1003
00:54:58,086 --> 00:54:59,247
If that's okay with you.
1004
00:55:00,214 --> 00:55:01,500
Just don't say anything.
1005
00:55:06,595 --> 00:55:08,131
You've made me very happy.
1006
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:21,441
♪ Oh, I'll see you again ♪
1007
00:55:21,819 --> 00:55:26,780
♪ Whenever spring breaks through again ♪
1008
00:55:27,115 --> 00:55:28,151
Honey, sing!
1009
00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:34,492
♪ Time may lie heavy between ♪
1010
00:55:34,498 --> 00:55:36,956
♪ But what has been ♪
1011
00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:41,044
♪ Is past forgetting ♪
1012
00:55:41,046 --> 00:55:45,040
♪ This sweet memory ♪
1013
00:55:45,050 --> 00:55:46,712
♪ Across the years, will come ♪
1014
00:55:49,972 --> 00:55:51,554
♪ To me ♪
1015
00:55:51,557 --> 00:55:53,423
♪ Though my world ♪
1016
00:55:53,433 --> 00:55:56,301
♪ May go awry ♪
1017
00:55:56,311 --> 00:55:59,270
♪ In my heart ♪
1018
00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:01,856
♪ Will ever lie ♪
1019
00:56:01,859 --> 00:56:06,820
♪ Just the echo of a sigh ♪
1020
00:56:10,909 --> 00:56:13,572
♪ Goodbye ♪
1021
00:56:13,579 --> 00:56:16,413
Honey, who's the
happiest guy in the world?
1022
00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:18,958
You are.
1023
00:56:19,626 --> 00:56:21,162
That's right.
1024
00:56:21,169 --> 00:56:23,536
And who's the happiest gal?
1025
00:56:26,592 --> 00:56:27,673
That's right.
1026
00:56:27,676 --> 00:56:29,212
Honey, guess what?
1027
00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:31,176
I wrote a song for you this morning.
1028
00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:36,474
♪ Oh, I'm picking out a thermos for you ♪
1029
00:56:36,476 --> 00:56:40,641
♪ Not an ordinary thermos for you ♪
1030
00:56:40,647 --> 00:56:44,516
♪ But the extra-best thermos you can buy ♪
1031
00:56:44,526 --> 00:56:48,110
♪ With vinyl and stripes
and a cup built right in ♪
1032
00:56:48,113 --> 00:56:52,232
♪ I'm picking out a thermos for you ♪
1033
00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:55,610
♪ And maybe a barometer, too ♪
1034
00:56:55,621 --> 00:56:59,535
♪ And what else can I buy
so on me you'll rely ♪
1035
00:56:59,541 --> 00:57:02,249
♪ A rear-end thermometer, too ♪
1036
00:57:02,252 --> 00:57:03,538
Honey?
1037
00:57:03,545 --> 00:57:05,537
There's a question I've
been wanting to pop,
1038
00:57:05,547 --> 00:57:08,881
but I've been afraid you'd say no.
1039
00:57:08,884 --> 00:57:11,877
But this seems like the
right time and place.
1040
00:57:11,887 --> 00:57:12,968
So here goes.
1041
00:57:14,556 --> 00:57:16,764
Honey, will you marry me?
1042
00:57:19,102 --> 00:57:20,102
Yahoo!
1043
00:57:21,063 --> 00:57:21,894
Come on,
1044
00:57:21,897 --> 00:57:23,559
let's seal it with a kiss!
1045
00:57:23,565 --> 00:57:24,931
Get in the tub with me!
1046
00:57:27,027 --> 00:57:27,858
Not you, Shithead!
1047
00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:29,853
Where's Marie?
1048
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:31,697
What letter?
1049
00:57:40,082 --> 00:57:42,290
Dear Navin.
1050
00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:51,541
to tell
1051
00:57:51,551 --> 00:57:54,794
to be
1052
00:57:58,976 --> 00:58:00,092
Marie, Marie!
1053
00:58:01,103 --> 00:58:03,436
Shithead, come here.
1054
00:58:03,438 --> 00:58:04,438
Good idea.
1055
00:58:05,273 --> 00:58:07,811
Marie, Marie, why did you leave me?
1056
00:58:07,818 --> 00:58:08,979
I couldn't read the letter.
1057
00:58:08,986 --> 00:58:10,818
It was too blurry.
1058
00:58:10,821 --> 00:58:11,857
Marie, Marie!
1059
00:58:12,948 --> 00:58:14,234
Here, boy.
1060
00:58:15,075 --> 00:58:16,075
Marie, Marie!
1061
00:58:17,869 --> 00:58:18,905
Marie, Marie!
1062
00:58:21,415 --> 00:58:23,122
Where are you, Marie?
1063
00:58:27,004 --> 00:58:28,040
Marie, Marie!
1064
00:58:39,975 --> 00:58:41,716
This is not gonna be easy, Shithead.
1065
00:58:43,437 --> 00:58:46,145
We've been together a long time.
1066
00:58:46,148 --> 00:58:47,684
But I gotta head down that road.
1067
00:58:50,485 --> 00:58:51,566
And there'll be times out there
1068
00:58:51,570 --> 00:58:54,278
when there won't be enough food for two.
1069
00:58:54,281 --> 00:58:56,022
And I won't be able to,
1070
00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:57,899
Hey, wait a minute!
1071
00:58:57,909 --> 00:58:59,491
I-I'm not done yet!
1072
00:58:59,494 --> 00:59:00,450
Come back.
1073
00:59:00,454 --> 00:59:01,535
I'm not finished.
1074
00:59:01,538 --> 00:59:02,949
I have some more to tell you.
1075
00:59:06,501 --> 00:59:08,868
You'll find a family who
can give you a real home,
1076
00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:12,543
with loving kids and a warm fireplace.
1077
00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:14,586
I never liked you, anyway.
1078
00:59:14,593 --> 00:59:16,425
Now get out of here!
1079
00:59:17,846 --> 00:59:18,677
Okay! Okay!
1080
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:20,342
You win, you can go with me.
1081
00:59:24,853 --> 00:59:28,688
So, Mom, with my faithful
dog leading the way,
1082
00:59:28,690 --> 00:59:31,524
I'm out to win the hand of Marie.
1083
00:59:31,526 --> 00:59:32,687
You'd love her, Ma.
1084
00:59:32,694 --> 00:59:34,777
She looks just like you.
1085
00:59:34,780 --> 00:59:36,362
Except she's white and blond.
1086
00:59:37,282 --> 00:59:40,901
So, to win her back, I vowed
to make something of myself.
1087
00:59:40,911 --> 00:59:43,619
I settled in Los Angeles
and took the money I saved
1088
00:59:43,622 --> 00:59:45,079
and rented my first apartment.
1089
00:59:46,166 --> 00:59:47,577
I haven't heard from Marie.
1090
00:59:49,419 --> 00:59:50,250
Things couldn't be worse.
1091
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:52,666
I can only send you 49 cents this week.
1092
00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:54,334
Oh, bless his heart.
1093
00:59:54,341 --> 00:59:55,832
That's a good boy.
1094
00:59:55,842 --> 00:59:58,004
As I've lost all my jobs.
1095
00:59:59,221 --> 01:00:00,302
I've been eating well, though.
1096
01:00:00,305 --> 01:00:01,921
The hospital gives out free meals
1097
01:00:01,932 --> 01:00:03,298
of orange juice and cookies.
1098
01:00:03,308 --> 01:00:05,766
And all I have to do is
give them a pint of blood.
1099
01:00:06,728 --> 01:00:08,469
I ate there all week.
1100
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:09,812
Three times a day.
1101
01:00:09,815 --> 01:00:10,976
A pint of blood?
1102
01:00:10,982 --> 01:00:12,598
I decided to quit
1103
01:00:12,609 --> 01:00:15,602
when I cut myself shaving
and nothing came out but air.
1104
01:00:17,489 --> 01:00:19,947
I have to go now as someone is staring
1105
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:21,987
at me through binoculars.
1106
01:00:21,993 --> 01:00:23,655
Your loving son, Navin.
1107
01:00:27,707 --> 01:00:28,707
It's him.
1108
01:00:36,299 --> 01:00:37,299
Him?
1109
01:00:42,389 --> 01:00:44,426
What's him doing here?
1110
01:00:44,432 --> 01:00:45,968
Shithead, Shithead!
1111
01:00:47,936 --> 01:00:50,303
Attack, Attack, Attack!
1112
01:00:51,148 --> 01:00:52,148
Not me!
1113
01:00:54,025 --> 01:00:55,482
Get off, Shithead!
1114
01:00:59,281 --> 01:01:00,897
You son of a bitch.
1115
01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:56,415
You're gonna have to sign for this.
1116
01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:01,003
I have to sign before you shoot me?
1117
01:02:02,177 --> 01:02:03,418
I'm not gonna shoot you.
1118
01:02:04,971 --> 01:02:06,178
Why not?
1119
01:02:06,181 --> 01:02:07,638
That was the old me.
1120
01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:10,179
I was a little mixed-up at that time.
1121
01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:14,099
Had a bad marriage and
I just gave up smoking.
1122
01:02:14,105 --> 01:02:15,221
I'm okay now.
1123
01:02:16,942 --> 01:02:18,183
I'm a private detective.
1124
01:02:26,201 --> 01:02:27,408
So long.
1125
01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:28,410
Thank you.
1126
01:02:36,753 --> 01:02:38,210
Dear Mr. Johnson.
1127
01:02:39,547 --> 01:02:41,880
Please call on me in Suite
1128
01:02:43,718 --> 01:02:47,632
2655 at the Century Plaza Tower
1129
01:02:47,639 --> 01:02:48,639
in Los Angeles.
1130
01:02:50,392 --> 01:02:54,056
I have something of great
importance to impart to you.
1131
01:02:56,147 --> 01:02:57,854
Navin, Remember me?
1132
01:02:59,317 --> 01:03:01,525
No, but don't feel bad.
1133
01:03:01,528 --> 01:03:02,528
Fox.
1134
01:03:03,989 --> 01:03:04,989
Stan Fox!
1135
01:03:05,699 --> 01:03:07,782
Remember the gas station?
1136
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:11,824
Boy, you are one hard guy to find!
1137
01:03:15,166 --> 01:03:16,202
You don't remember me.
1138
01:03:18,962 --> 01:03:20,544
The glasses handle, look!
1139
01:03:23,091 --> 01:03:24,091
Oh, yeah.
1140
01:03:24,884 --> 01:03:26,000
My glasses handle.
1141
01:03:26,011 --> 01:03:27,092
Use the Opti-Grab.
1142
01:03:28,096 --> 01:03:29,257
Opti-Grab?
1143
01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:31,472
Yeah, we call it Opti-Grab.
1144
01:03:31,474 --> 01:03:32,305
Opti-Grab.
1145
01:03:32,309 --> 01:03:35,393
"Opti," from the eye and "Grab,"
1146
01:03:35,395 --> 01:03:36,931
from where you grab it.
1147
01:03:36,938 --> 01:03:38,349
Opti-Grabbing it.
1148
01:03:38,356 --> 01:03:39,597
Navin, my boy,
1149
01:03:39,607 --> 01:03:41,269
we're in business.
1150
01:03:41,276 --> 01:03:43,359
50-50, just like we said.
1151
01:03:44,362 --> 01:03:45,648
Right in here,
1152
01:03:45,655 --> 01:03:50,446
I have your first check for 250 big ones.
1153
01:03:51,328 --> 01:03:53,194
250?
1154
01:03:53,204 --> 01:03:54,411
That's just the beginning.
1155
01:03:54,414 --> 01:03:56,656
There's gonna be more, lots more!
1156
01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:57,656
Can I cash this?
1157
01:03:57,667 --> 01:03:58,498
Sure.
1158
01:03:58,501 --> 01:03:59,537
You can do whatever you like.
1159
01:03:59,544 --> 01:04:00,375
It's your money.
1160
01:04:00,378 --> 01:04:01,368
It's a cashier's check.
1161
01:04:01,379 --> 01:04:02,961
Wow!
1162
01:04:02,964 --> 01:04:04,830
I can use money.
1163
01:04:04,841 --> 01:04:08,425
Yes, I have a cashier's check
1164
01:04:08,428 --> 01:04:10,010
and I'd like to cash it.
1165
01:04:10,013 --> 01:04:11,013
How much is it for?
1166
01:04:12,390 --> 01:04:15,679
250 big ones.
1167
01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:23,148
250 dollarinies.
1168
01:04:26,738 --> 01:04:28,445
That's 250 doughnuts.
1169
01:04:32,619 --> 01:04:34,611
You wanna cash this?
1170
01:04:34,621 --> 01:04:35,737
Well, I could take
1171
01:04:35,747 --> 01:04:40,287
50 of the doughnuts and
deposit the other 200 beauties.
1172
01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:42,660
Have a seat, Mr., uh, Johnson.
1173
01:04:45,548 --> 01:04:47,710
I will need two pieces of identification.
1174
01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:48,717
Ah, yes.
1175
01:04:50,512 --> 01:04:52,754
I have my temporary driver's license.
1176
01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:57,929
And my Astronaut Application form.
1177
01:04:59,312 --> 01:05:00,428
I didn't pass that, though.
1178
01:05:00,438 --> 01:05:03,602
I failed everything but
the "Date of Birth."
1179
01:05:03,608 --> 01:05:05,440
I didn't get the job.
1180
01:05:05,443 --> 01:05:06,308
Everything's in order.
1181
01:05:06,319 --> 01:05:10,233
If you'll, uh, just
endorse this, right there.
1182
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:11,071
I need a pen.
1183
01:05:11,074 --> 01:05:11,905
Pen, Okay.
1184
01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:13,695
Right here. Thank you.
1185
01:05:13,701 --> 01:05:16,284
And, uh, fill out this, uh,
1186
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:17,869
deposit slip right there.
1187
01:05:17,872 --> 01:05:18,988
All right.
1188
01:05:19,207 --> 01:05:23,497
The endorsing and filling
out of the deposit slip.
1189
01:05:23,711 --> 01:05:28,297
Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
1190
01:05:41,896 --> 01:05:44,980
Dear Harry, guess what?
1191
01:05:44,983 --> 01:05:47,350
I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams.
1192
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:49,192
But I haven't forgotten our deal.
1193
01:05:49,195 --> 01:05:51,232
Here's that postcard I promised you.
1194
01:05:51,239 --> 01:05:54,073
I'll bet you thought
you'd never get it, huh?
1195
01:05:54,075 --> 01:05:55,657
Your friend forever, Navin.
1196
01:05:56,619 --> 01:05:58,406
How do you like that?
1197
01:05:58,413 --> 01:06:02,157
He promised me a postcard
and he sent me a postcard.
1198
01:06:02,167 --> 01:06:03,954
The kid has integrity.
1199
01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:23,552
Shithead, come on.
1200
01:06:38,328 --> 01:06:40,866
Yello, Yes.
1201
01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:42,998
Who?
1202
01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:44,750
Mrs. Kimball?
1203
01:06:46,503 --> 01:06:47,914
You're Marie's mom!
1204
01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:51,713
Read about me in the paper?
1205
01:06:51,716 --> 01:06:53,048
I've been trying to contact her.
1206
01:06:53,051 --> 01:06:53,882
I don't know where she is.
1207
01:06:53,885 --> 01:06:55,717
I'd give anything to find out.
1208
01:06:57,305 --> 01:06:59,513
That sounds a little high.
1209
01:06:59,516 --> 01:07:01,007
How about $75?
1210
01:07:02,393 --> 01:07:03,725
Okay.
1211
01:07:03,728 --> 01:07:05,515
Okay, what is it?
1212
01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:08,731
The May Company in Los Angeles.
1213
01:07:08,733 --> 01:07:09,564
Shithead!
1214
01:07:09,567 --> 01:07:11,389
I know where she is!
1215
01:07:11,402 --> 01:07:13,519
Doesn't that feel good?
1216
01:07:13,530 --> 01:07:14,530
Mmm-hmm.
1217
01:07:17,075 --> 01:07:19,237
There now, we are complete.
1218
01:07:21,788 --> 01:07:24,246
Putting on Mask-O Derm just
took a few short minutes
1219
01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:25,239
and when we peel it off,
1220
01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:26,957
he will look 20 years younger.
1221
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:28,576
Allevei.
1222
01:07:28,586 --> 01:07:29,586
Yes, exactly.
1223
01:07:30,380 --> 01:07:31,791
Now we'll let this dry.
1224
01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:32,914
In the meantime,
1225
01:07:32,924 --> 01:07:35,792
we can go pick out an eye
shadow and lip tint for him.
1226
01:07:35,802 --> 01:07:37,919
Now everyone just follow me this way
1227
01:07:37,929 --> 01:07:40,342
because this is a very interesting line.
1228
01:07:40,348 --> 01:07:41,680
I think you'll enjoy this.
1229
01:07:41,683 --> 01:07:43,675
With your husband's coloring,
1230
01:07:43,685 --> 01:07:46,473
a deep tone would bring out his lips.
1231
01:07:46,479 --> 01:07:48,345
And this Nature Beige
1232
01:07:48,356 --> 01:07:51,019
will feature his eyes just wonderfully.
1233
01:07:51,025 --> 01:07:52,561
Let's try everything.
1234
01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:56,655
What?
1235
01:07:58,533 --> 01:07:59,364
Ah!
1236
01:07:59,367 --> 01:08:00,903
Let's go unmask Irving.
1237
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:03,493
Everyone, back this way.
1238
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:06,739
We are now going to peel
off our Mask-O Derm.
1239
01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:08,991
Irving's skin will be tighter, firmer,
1240
01:08:09,002 --> 01:08:11,244
and he'll look like a different man.
1241
01:08:11,254 --> 01:08:12,495
You'll be amazed.
1242
01:08:13,715 --> 01:08:14,715
Get ready, Irving.
1243
01:08:30,440 --> 01:08:32,898
Jeez, this shit really worked.
1244
01:08:36,779 --> 01:08:37,779
Navin.
1245
01:08:40,074 --> 01:08:41,986
Oh, my sweetheart.
1246
01:08:42,910 --> 01:08:44,492
What are you doing to my husband,
1247
01:08:44,495 --> 01:08:45,827
you Miss Blondie?
1248
01:08:45,830 --> 01:08:48,072
Irving, Irving, are you crazy?
1249
01:08:48,082 --> 01:08:48,947
Dear Mom.
1250
01:08:48,958 --> 01:08:51,792
The big news is, Marie and I were married.
1251
01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:53,080
We couldn't wait.
1252
01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:56,171
Luckily, we found someone at
the Hollywood View Apartments,
1253
01:08:56,174 --> 01:08:58,712
who could marry us immediately.
1254
01:08:58,718 --> 01:09:00,755
He was a certified priest.
1255
01:09:03,473 --> 01:09:05,965
We were both glad we
had a religious wedding.
1256
01:09:05,975 --> 01:09:08,934
Money hasn't changed our lives that much.
1257
01:09:08,936 --> 01:09:10,723
Our one little extravagance
1258
01:09:10,730 --> 01:09:13,143
is a live-in butler and housekeeper.
1259
01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:14,390
Another check!
1260
01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:17,317
Just as I thought.
1261
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:18,151
Look at that.
1262
01:09:18,154 --> 01:09:20,692
Nearly three quarters
of a million dollars.
1263
01:09:20,698 --> 01:09:22,564
Sir, it would seem with
this kind of income,
1264
01:09:22,575 --> 01:09:23,861
you could buy a larger house
1265
01:09:23,868 --> 01:09:25,780
with proper servants' quarters.
1266
01:09:25,787 --> 01:09:28,154
Well mom, remember my dream of owning
1267
01:09:28,164 --> 01:09:29,905
a big house on a hill?
1268
01:09:29,916 --> 01:09:32,249
How I used to wish for a living room
1269
01:09:32,251 --> 01:09:34,959
with a plaster lion in it from Mexico?
1270
01:09:34,962 --> 01:09:38,626
And how I always wanted a
large 24-seat dining table?
1271
01:09:38,633 --> 01:09:41,250
In a dining room with
original oil paintings
1272
01:09:41,260 --> 01:09:44,503
by Michelangelo and Rembrandt?
1273
01:09:44,514 --> 01:09:47,302
And remember how I always
wanted a rotating bed
1274
01:09:47,308 --> 01:09:49,891
with pink chiffon and zebra stripes?
1275
01:09:49,894 --> 01:09:52,432
And remember how I used
to chitchat with Dad
1276
01:09:52,438 --> 01:09:56,557
about always wanting a
bathtub shaped like a clam?
1277
01:09:56,567 --> 01:09:58,980
And an office with
orange and white stripes?
1278
01:09:58,986 --> 01:10:00,852
And remember how much I wanted
1279
01:10:00,863 --> 01:10:04,698
an all-red billiard room
with a giant stuffed camel?
1280
01:10:04,701 --> 01:10:08,411
And how I wanted a disco room
with my own disco dancers?
1281
01:10:08,413 --> 01:10:10,655
And a party room with fancy friends?
1282
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,457
And remember how much I wanted
1283
01:10:13,459 --> 01:10:15,792
a big back yard with Grecian statues
1284
01:10:15,795 --> 01:10:18,629
S-shaped hedges and three swimming pools?
1285
01:10:18,631 --> 01:10:19,997
Well, I got that, too.
1286
01:10:23,302 --> 01:10:25,134
Marie and I are getting along swell.
1287
01:10:26,013 --> 01:10:27,254
But I've got a lot to learn
1288
01:10:27,265 --> 01:10:30,053
about handling my money and banks.
1289
01:10:30,059 --> 01:10:31,345
You have to be careful.
1290
01:10:33,563 --> 01:10:35,475
Poor Hobart.
1291
01:10:35,481 --> 01:10:37,188
His dear wife Hester took some money
1292
01:10:37,191 --> 01:10:39,228
out of her savings account and had to pay
1293
01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:42,228
a substantial penalty
for early withdrawal.
1294
01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:48,491
Enclosed is this week's check.
1295
01:10:48,494 --> 01:10:49,494
Love, Navin.
1296
01:10:50,830 --> 01:10:53,072
Sorry about your wife, Hobart.
1297
01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:54,664
Federal regulations, sir.
1298
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:57,496
Oh, dear me.
1299
01:10:57,503 --> 01:11:01,622
Your wife has given
you another gold chain.
1300
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:04,086
I'd nearly forgotten.
1301
01:11:05,052 --> 01:11:07,135
I suppose, I'm still not quite
1302
01:11:07,138 --> 01:11:08,470
over Hester's death.
1303
01:11:08,473 --> 01:11:10,465
Well, these things take time.
1304
01:11:10,475 --> 01:11:11,306
Yes.
1305
01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,345
So I'm told.
1306
01:11:12,351 --> 01:11:14,308
Oh, here's your drink, sir.
1307
01:11:14,312 --> 01:11:16,679
Like the one you saw in the magazine.
1308
01:11:16,689 --> 01:11:18,897
You got the bamboo
umbrella and everything.
1309
01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:24,228
See that?
1310
01:11:24,238 --> 01:11:25,649
Be somebody.
1311
01:11:28,618 --> 01:11:29,699
Very good, sir.
1312
01:11:29,702 --> 01:11:30,702
Very good.
1313
01:11:32,747 --> 01:11:33,863
Oh, uh,
1314
01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:37,037
there are some charity
people here to see you, sir.
1315
01:11:37,043 --> 01:11:39,581
No, Send them away!
1316
01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:42,204
There's a lot of people
more deserving than me.
1317
01:11:42,215 --> 01:11:45,049
Ah, but these people want you to give.
1318
01:11:47,136 --> 01:11:48,136
Oh.
1319
01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,138
Okay.
1320
01:11:51,140 --> 01:11:54,099
My name is Father Carlos
Las Vegas De Cordoba.
1321
01:11:55,311 --> 01:11:58,395
Father, you seem like a religious man.
1322
01:11:58,397 --> 01:11:59,854
How can I help you?
1323
01:11:59,857 --> 01:12:02,270
By giving me three minutes of your time
1324
01:12:02,276 --> 01:12:05,269
so that you can see some
film of a great ugliness
1325
01:12:05,279 --> 01:12:06,861
that is spreading in my country.
1326
01:12:08,115 --> 01:12:09,026
Oh, God.
1327
01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:10,615
I'll bet it's disgusting.
1328
01:12:11,994 --> 01:12:13,280
Hobart?
1329
01:12:13,287 --> 01:12:14,118
Yes, sir?
1330
01:12:14,121 --> 01:12:16,488
Are you over your grief
enough yet to dim the lights?
1331
01:12:17,333 --> 01:12:18,164
Of course, sir.
1332
01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:20,534
Well, one can't mourn forever.
1333
01:12:20,545 --> 01:12:24,084
You will not believe
what you are about to see.
1334
01:12:24,090 --> 01:12:26,924
That human beings could have sunk so low
1335
01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:29,009
that they can take pleasure to do this
1336
01:12:29,011 --> 01:12:30,923
to another of God's creatures.
1337
01:12:30,930 --> 01:12:33,718
I hope you have a strong stomach, senor.
1338
01:12:33,724 --> 01:12:35,090
Roll the ugliness.
1339
01:13:15,016 --> 01:13:16,257
Good Lord.
1340
01:13:16,267 --> 01:13:18,805
I've heard about this cat juggling.
1341
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:39,906
Stop it, Stop it, Stop it!
1342
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:40,916
Stop it!
1343
01:13:42,001 --> 01:13:43,001
Good.
1344
01:13:44,420 --> 01:13:48,585
Father, could there be a God
that would let this happen?
1345
01:13:49,884 --> 01:13:51,000
How much do you want?
1346
01:13:52,511 --> 01:13:53,968
If your initial investment
1347
01:13:53,971 --> 01:13:56,088
is half a million dollars,
1348
01:13:56,098 --> 01:13:58,715
and your apartments are up in March,
1349
01:13:58,726 --> 01:14:01,218
you should have X amount
of dollars rolling in
1350
01:14:01,228 --> 01:14:03,015
by the end of this year.
1351
01:14:03,022 --> 01:14:04,513
Ah! "X" amount.
1352
01:14:04,523 --> 01:14:06,310
That's very good, isn't it?
1353
01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:07,148
Not only that,
1354
01:14:07,151 --> 01:14:08,608
you can depreciate the entire building
1355
01:14:08,611 --> 01:14:09,852
for the full amount.
1356
01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:10,693
Depreciate?
1357
01:14:10,696 --> 01:14:11,812
Mm, very good.
1358
01:14:11,822 --> 01:14:12,822
I like that.
1359
01:14:13,950 --> 01:14:15,942
And we found a way to get
around this Fair Housing crap.
1360
01:14:15,952 --> 01:14:16,942
Ah good.
1361
01:14:16,953 --> 01:14:19,536
Getting around the crap, that's good.
1362
01:14:19,538 --> 01:14:20,528
By keeping the rents high,
1363
01:14:20,539 --> 01:14:23,122
we're going to appeal to
a select class of people.
1364
01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:24,206
Select class.
1365
01:14:24,210 --> 01:14:25,210
Very, very good.
1366
01:14:26,420 --> 01:14:28,412
We'll keep the eggplants out.
1367
01:14:28,422 --> 01:14:29,253
Ah, good.
1368
01:14:29,256 --> 01:14:30,963
We don't want any vegetables.
1369
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:31,798
No, no.
1370
01:14:31,801 --> 01:14:33,383
The jungle bunnies.
1371
01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:34,217
Of course.
1372
01:14:34,220 --> 01:14:35,427
They'll eat the vegetables.
1373
01:14:36,389 --> 01:14:37,220
Boss?
1374
01:14:37,223 --> 01:14:39,260
Can I, can I talk to him?
1375
01:14:39,266 --> 01:14:40,882
We're gonna keep out the niggers.
1376
01:14:41,978 --> 01:14:43,469
The what?
1377
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,310
The niggers.
1378
01:14:44,313 --> 01:14:45,313
We'll keep 'em out.
1379
01:14:46,023 --> 01:14:46,854
Yeah.
1380
01:14:46,857 --> 01:14:50,521
Sir, you are talking to a nigger!
1381
01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:40,154
Don't be so hard on yourself.
1382
01:15:40,161 --> 01:15:42,949
How could you know that
was Iron Balls McGinty?
1383
01:15:44,498 --> 01:15:45,659
Your escargots, Salad.
1384
01:15:47,293 --> 01:15:48,875
Would monsieur care for another bottle
1385
01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:50,335
of the Chateau Latour?
1386
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:52,750
Ah, yes, but no more 1966.
1387
01:15:52,757 --> 01:15:54,123
Let's splurge.
1388
01:15:54,133 --> 01:15:55,920
Bring us some fresh wine.
1389
01:15:55,926 --> 01:15:57,417
The freshest you've got.
1390
01:15:57,428 --> 01:15:58,384
This year's.
1391
01:15:58,387 --> 01:16:00,629
No more of this old stuff.
1392
01:16:00,639 --> 01:16:01,925
Oui, monsieur.
1393
01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:04,140
He doesn't realize he's dealing
1394
01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:05,634
with sophisticated people here.
1395
01:16:07,271 --> 01:16:08,557
Marie, now just stay calm.
1396
01:16:08,564 --> 01:16:09,395
Stay calm.
1397
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:10,639
Just don't look down.
1398
01:16:10,649 --> 01:16:11,605
Don't look down!
1399
01:16:11,609 --> 01:16:12,440
Look up!
1400
01:16:12,443 --> 01:16:14,685
Just keep your eyes up and
keep them that way, okay?
1401
01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:15,695
Waiter!
1402
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:21,199
There are snails on her plate.
1403
01:16:23,370 --> 01:16:25,612
Now get them out of here
before she sees them.
1404
01:16:26,499 --> 01:16:27,580
Look away, just look away!
1405
01:16:27,583 --> 01:16:29,290
And keep your eyes that way!
1406
01:16:29,293 --> 01:16:30,750
You'd think at a fancy restaurant
1407
01:16:30,753 --> 01:16:31,994
like this, at these prices,
1408
01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:34,621
you would be able to keep
the snails off the food!
1409
01:16:36,092 --> 01:16:36,923
There're so many snails in there,
1410
01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:38,258
you can't even see the food!
1411
01:16:38,260 --> 01:16:39,751
Now take them away and
bring me those melted
1412
01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:42,345
cheese sandwich appetizers
you talked me out of!
1413
01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:43,348
Oui, monsieur.
1414
01:16:45,643 --> 01:16:46,599
Do you believe this?
1415
01:16:46,602 --> 01:16:48,184
First, they didn't have
the bamboo umbrellas
1416
01:16:48,187 --> 01:16:50,554
for the wine and now snails on the food.
1417
01:16:50,564 --> 01:16:51,896
Two boobs!
1418
01:16:51,899 --> 01:16:53,231
That's what he takes us for!
1419
01:17:05,454 --> 01:17:06,285
Hi, honey.
1420
01:17:06,288 --> 01:17:07,950
Hi, doll face.
1421
01:17:07,957 --> 01:17:09,368
Everything okay?
1422
01:17:09,375 --> 01:17:13,210
Remember how you told me
to take unnecessary lessons?
1423
01:17:13,212 --> 01:17:15,750
Well, I just took a lesson.
1424
01:17:15,756 --> 01:17:17,292
And a very good student, too.
1425
01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:18,130
Adios, senora.
1426
01:17:18,134 --> 01:17:19,295
Adios.
1427
01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:20,712
You took bullfighting?
1428
01:17:20,719 --> 01:17:22,631
No, knife-throwing.
1429
01:17:24,223 --> 01:17:25,885
Knife-throwing is great!
1430
01:17:25,891 --> 01:17:27,803
I can almost do it.
1431
01:17:27,810 --> 01:17:29,722
Well, let me see your stuff.
1432
01:17:29,728 --> 01:17:30,728
Okay.
1433
01:17:31,981 --> 01:17:33,973
This is very good for a beginner.
1434
01:17:36,569 --> 01:17:37,559
This is exciting.
1435
01:17:37,570 --> 01:17:39,653
I love this!
1436
01:17:39,655 --> 01:17:40,655
Come on.
1437
01:17:42,408 --> 01:17:43,944
Turn sideways.
1438
01:17:43,951 --> 01:17:44,816
Okay.
1439
01:17:44,827 --> 01:17:46,693
And put a balloon in your mouth.
1440
01:17:47,621 --> 01:17:48,907
Do you have a balloon?
1441
01:17:49,874 --> 01:17:51,456
Uh, no.
1442
01:17:51,458 --> 01:17:52,869
Oh, wait. Yes.
1443
01:17:54,336 --> 01:17:55,336
Okay.
1444
01:17:56,672 --> 01:17:58,459
Is it in your mouth?
1445
01:17:58,465 --> 01:17:59,296
Uh-huh!
1446
01:17:59,300 --> 01:18:01,166
Throw 'em good and hard so they'll stick.
1447
01:18:02,303 --> 01:18:03,303
Okay.
1448
01:18:07,141 --> 01:18:08,803
One,
1449
01:18:08,809 --> 01:18:09,809
two,
1450
01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:12,520
three!
1451
01:18:13,480 --> 01:18:14,766
Four, five, six!
1452
01:18:17,651 --> 01:18:18,651
Oh!
1453
01:18:19,653 --> 01:18:21,269
I missed.
1454
01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:23,567
Honey, you did good.
1455
01:18:23,574 --> 01:18:25,190
I can't do anything right.
1456
01:18:26,827 --> 01:18:29,535
Honey, you worry too much.
1457
01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:31,871
Come on.
1458
01:18:31,874 --> 01:18:34,617
Let's flop this over and
look at it another way.
1459
01:18:34,627 --> 01:18:37,665
Why, do you realize in
the past two short months,
1460
01:18:37,671 --> 01:18:40,209
we have acquired the sophistication
1461
01:18:40,216 --> 01:18:43,380
it takes some people
a lifetime to acquire?
1462
01:18:43,385 --> 01:18:45,342
Come on!
1463
01:18:45,346 --> 01:18:46,346
Let's toast!
1464
01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:46,646
Hey everybody, Navin's on TV.
1465
01:19:46,657 --> 01:19:48,273
Marie, it's Navin!
1466
01:19:48,284 --> 01:19:51,777
Oh, honey, here's that
interview you did on TV.
1467
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:53,528
Shut off the music, shut it off!
1468
01:19:53,539 --> 01:19:55,155
Shut off the music!
1469
01:19:55,165 --> 01:19:57,248
Everyone, we're going to
watch Navin on the TV.
1470
01:19:57,251 --> 01:19:58,708
Now, sit down.
1471
01:19:58,711 --> 01:20:01,203
Just sit on the floor, sit around.
1472
01:20:01,213 --> 01:20:02,795
American Time Newsmagazine,
1473
01:20:02,798 --> 01:20:05,165
turns its probing eye on Navin Johnson,
1474
01:20:05,175 --> 01:20:07,292
inventor of the Opti-Grab.
1475
01:20:07,303 --> 01:20:09,386
That little glasses handle that sold
1476
01:20:09,388 --> 01:20:12,631
10 million units in a few short months.
1477
01:20:12,641 --> 01:20:14,052
Mr. Johnson,
1478
01:20:14,059 --> 01:20:16,267
you've become a millionaire overnight.
1479
01:20:16,270 --> 01:20:17,270
Who are you?
1480
01:20:18,647 --> 01:20:20,434
Who is Navin Johnson?
1481
01:20:21,859 --> 01:20:23,771
Navin is a complex personality,
1482
01:20:23,777 --> 01:20:26,440
as are most of the small breed
1483
01:20:26,447 --> 01:20:29,531
of modern-day Renaissance millionaires.
1484
01:20:29,533 --> 01:20:30,944
We had planned to show you
1485
01:20:30,951 --> 01:20:33,034
the entire Johnson interview.
1486
01:20:33,037 --> 01:20:34,869
However, when we returned to our studio,
1487
01:20:34,872 --> 01:20:36,704
our news department informed us
1488
01:20:36,707 --> 01:20:40,542
of a sensational development
in the Johnson story.
1489
01:20:40,544 --> 01:20:43,036
It seems that an irate group of citizens
1490
01:20:43,047 --> 01:20:45,960
led by the celebrity Mr. Carl Reiner,
1491
01:20:45,966 --> 01:20:49,175
has filed a class-action
suit against Mr. Johnson
1492
01:20:49,178 --> 01:20:50,339
and his Opti-Grab.
1493
01:20:50,346 --> 01:20:53,760
Here's what Mr. Reiner had
to say at a press conference.
1494
01:20:53,766 --> 01:20:55,052
When Opti-Grab came out,
1495
01:20:55,059 --> 01:20:56,846
I thought it was the greatest thing ever.
1496
01:20:56,852 --> 01:20:58,593
And I bought a pair.
1497
01:20:58,604 --> 01:21:00,470
And this is the result.
1498
01:21:02,316 --> 01:21:04,228
This little handle is like a magnet.
1499
01:21:04,234 --> 01:21:06,396
Your eyes are constantly drawn to it
1500
01:21:06,403 --> 01:21:08,895
and you end up cockeyed.
1501
01:21:08,906 --> 01:21:10,022
Now, as a director,
1502
01:21:10,032 --> 01:21:12,274
I am constantly using my eyes.
1503
01:21:12,284 --> 01:21:13,741
And this Opti-Grab device
1504
01:21:13,744 --> 01:21:16,657
has caused irreparable harm to my career.
1505
01:21:16,663 --> 01:21:19,121
Let me show you a clip
from my latest film,
1506
01:21:19,124 --> 01:21:21,207
where my faulty depth perception
1507
01:21:21,210 --> 01:21:24,123
kept me from yelling
"cut" at the proper time.
1508
01:21:26,799 --> 01:21:28,335
Cut!
1509
01:21:36,975 --> 01:21:38,887
If I had yelled "cut" on time,
1510
01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:42,262
those actors would be alive today.
1511
01:21:42,272 --> 01:21:44,264
That's why I'm spearheading the
1512
01:21:44,274 --> 01:21:48,393
10 million dollar class-action
suit against Mr. Johnson
1513
01:21:48,404 --> 01:21:50,737
and his irresponsible
selling of a product,
1514
01:21:50,739 --> 01:21:53,356
he didn't even test on prisoners.
1515
01:21:54,284 --> 01:21:55,115
Thank you.
1516
01:21:55,119 --> 01:21:56,200
The party's over.
1517
01:21:56,203 --> 01:21:57,660
Nouveau riche.
1518
01:21:59,957 --> 01:22:01,198
Hey, wait a second.
1519
01:22:01,208 --> 01:22:02,449
Where are you going?
1520
01:22:02,459 --> 01:22:03,950
This guy's something else.
1521
01:22:03,961 --> 01:22:07,295
I'm gonna get in
touch with that Reiner guy.
1522
01:22:07,297 --> 01:22:09,254
I got some... I got
some change upstairs.
1523
01:22:09,258 --> 01:22:11,420
We'll get some, uh, potato chips
1524
01:22:11,427 --> 01:22:12,588
and there's some beer up there.
1525
01:22:12,594 --> 01:22:14,836
We'll make it a less formal thing.
1526
01:22:16,348 --> 01:22:19,056
Let's find another party.
1527
01:22:21,812 --> 01:22:22,768
Honey!
1528
01:22:22,771 --> 01:22:23,771
Why the gloom?
1529
01:22:24,690 --> 01:22:26,272
It's not the end of the rainbow.
1530
01:22:28,402 --> 01:22:30,268
I'm Navin Johnson, inventor!
1531
01:22:30,279 --> 01:22:31,440
This is no big deal.
1532
01:22:31,447 --> 01:22:34,110
It's a parking ticket to me.
1533
01:22:34,116 --> 01:22:35,072
Only instead of $5,
1534
01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:36,941
it's 10,000,000.
1535
01:22:38,370 --> 01:22:41,784
I don't care about losing all the money.
1536
01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:44,749
It's losing all the stuff.
1537
01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:48,290
We're not gonna lose the stuff.
1538
01:22:49,214 --> 01:22:51,046
This is America!
1539
01:22:51,049 --> 01:22:55,919
We're gonna receive a fair
trial from an impartial jury.
1540
01:22:56,763 --> 01:22:58,379
Your Honor, we, the jury,
1541
01:22:58,390 --> 01:23:00,382
find for the plaintiff.
1542
01:23:05,105 --> 01:23:09,315
I award, to Mr. Reiner and the other
1543
01:23:09,526 --> 01:23:16,194
9,987,652 plaintiffs,
1544
01:23:16,700 --> 01:23:18,566
the full amount of the suit.
1545
01:23:20,621 --> 01:23:22,362
Court is adjourned!
1546
01:23:29,213 --> 01:23:30,078
Navin.
1547
01:23:30,088 --> 01:23:33,047
Honey, can't you see I'm drinking?
1548
01:23:39,306 --> 01:23:43,801
Pay to the order of Mrs. Wilbur Stark
1549
01:23:45,771 --> 01:23:47,888
$1.09!
1550
01:24:05,374 --> 01:24:10,335
Pay to the order of Iron Balls McGinty
1551
01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:13,375
$1.09!
1552
01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:18,046
Why are you crying?
1553
01:24:18,053 --> 01:24:20,170
And why are you wearing that old dress?
1554
01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:22,384
Because I just heard a song on the radio
1555
01:24:22,391 --> 01:24:24,849
that reminded me of the way we were.
1556
01:24:24,851 --> 01:24:26,638
What was it?
1557
01:24:26,645 --> 01:24:28,477
The Way We Were.
1558
01:24:28,480 --> 01:24:29,345
Look at us.
1559
01:24:29,356 --> 01:24:31,063
We've hit bottom.
1560
01:24:31,066 --> 01:24:33,274
No! Maybe you've hit bottom,
1561
01:24:33,277 --> 01:24:35,485
but I haven't hit bottom yet!
1562
01:24:35,487 --> 01:24:36,944
I've got a ways to go!
1563
01:24:38,532 --> 01:24:39,613
And I'm gonna bounce back!
1564
01:24:39,616 --> 01:24:41,824
And when I do,
1565
01:24:41,827 --> 01:24:45,286
I'm gonna buy you a diamond so big
1566
01:24:45,289 --> 01:24:48,123
it's gonna make you puke.
1567
01:24:48,125 --> 01:24:49,832
I don't wanna puke!
1568
01:24:50,919 --> 01:24:52,751
I don't want wealth!
1569
01:24:52,754 --> 01:24:56,122
I just want you like you used to be.
1570
01:24:56,133 --> 01:24:58,500
What happened to that man?
1571
01:24:58,510 --> 01:25:00,126
Me?
1572
01:25:00,137 --> 01:25:03,130
What happened to the girl I believed in?
1573
01:25:03,140 --> 01:25:05,382
The girl I fell in love with.
1574
01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:06,883
The girl that believed in me.
1575
01:25:09,187 --> 01:25:11,474
There's plenty of places I can go,
1576
01:25:11,481 --> 01:25:13,222
where people believe in me.
1577
01:25:13,233 --> 01:25:15,020
Well, go!
1578
01:25:15,027 --> 01:25:16,734
The sooner you're out of my life,
1579
01:25:16,737 --> 01:25:18,649
the sooner I can go back to being the girl
1580
01:25:18,655 --> 01:25:20,692
in this little flowered dress
1581
01:25:20,699 --> 01:25:23,783
that you sang the thermos song to.
1582
01:25:25,287 --> 01:25:27,904
Well, I'm gonna go, then!
1583
01:25:27,914 --> 01:25:29,655
And I don't need any of this!
1584
01:25:29,666 --> 01:25:30,998
I don't need this stuff!
1585
01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:33,501
And I don't need you!
1586
01:25:33,503 --> 01:25:34,539
I don't need anything!
1587
01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:37,131
Except this.
1588
01:25:38,467 --> 01:25:39,332
This ashtray.
1589
01:25:39,343 --> 01:25:41,130
The only thing I need is this!
1590
01:25:43,347 --> 01:25:45,179
I don't need this or this.
1591
01:25:45,182 --> 01:25:48,266
Just this ashtray!
1592
01:25:48,268 --> 01:25:49,975
And this paddle game.
1593
01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:52,595
The ashtray and the paddle game.
1594
01:25:52,606 --> 01:25:54,723
And that's all I need!
1595
01:25:54,733 --> 01:25:57,897
And this remote control.
1596
01:25:57,903 --> 01:25:59,189
The ashtray, the paddle game,
1597
01:25:59,196 --> 01:26:00,403
and the remote control.
1598
01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:02,192
And that's all I need!
1599
01:26:04,409 --> 01:26:05,866
And these matches.
1600
01:26:07,079 --> 01:26:09,492
The ashtray and these matches
1601
01:26:09,498 --> 01:26:12,991
and the remote control
and the paddle ball.
1602
01:26:14,294 --> 01:26:17,662
This lamp.
1603
01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:20,381
The ashtray,
1604
01:26:20,384 --> 01:26:23,627
this paddle game and the remote control,
1605
01:26:25,305 --> 01:26:26,136
and the lamp.
1606
01:26:26,139 --> 01:26:27,926
And that's all I need.
1607
01:26:30,519 --> 01:26:33,353
And that's all I need, too.
1608
01:26:33,355 --> 01:26:36,018
I don't need one other thing!
1609
01:26:36,024 --> 01:26:36,889
Not one...
1610
01:26:36,900 --> 01:26:37,900
I need this.
1611
01:26:40,487 --> 01:26:42,729
The paddle game and the chair,
1612
01:26:42,739 --> 01:26:46,779
and the remote control
and the matches, for sure!
1613
01:26:48,620 --> 01:26:51,658
Wh-what are you looking at?
1614
01:26:51,665 --> 01:26:52,576
What do you think I am?
1615
01:26:52,582 --> 01:26:55,290
Some kind of a jerk or something?
1616
01:27:02,008 --> 01:27:03,008
And this.
1617
01:27:05,053 --> 01:27:06,510
That's all I need.
1618
01:27:07,681 --> 01:27:12,051
The ashtray, the remote
control and this paddle game,
1619
01:27:12,978 --> 01:27:15,595
and this magazine and the chair.
1620
01:27:22,112 --> 01:27:23,944
And I don't need one other thing.
1621
01:27:23,947 --> 01:27:25,984
Except my dog.
1622
01:27:28,827 --> 01:27:30,159
I don't need my dog.
1623
01:28:38,730 --> 01:28:40,596
So, that's it.
1624
01:28:42,025 --> 01:28:44,108
It's an old story.
1625
01:28:44,110 --> 01:28:46,193
One you've probably heard before.
1626
01:28:48,573 --> 01:28:50,940
But I never thought it would happen to me.
1627
01:29:04,214 --> 01:29:06,206
Hey! Any of you bums ever heard
1628
01:29:06,216 --> 01:29:07,832
of Navin R. Johnson?
1629
01:29:10,846 --> 01:29:11,846
I've heard of him.
1630
01:29:13,098 --> 01:29:15,135
Born in Mississippi?
1631
01:29:15,141 --> 01:29:16,598
Uh-huh!
1632
01:29:16,601 --> 01:29:18,467
Inventor of the Opti-Grab?
1633
01:29:18,478 --> 01:29:21,095
I was just telling these guys.
1634
01:29:23,066 --> 01:29:24,066
Son!
1635
01:29:25,318 --> 01:29:26,318
Daddy!
1636
01:29:28,154 --> 01:29:29,486
Navin.
1637
01:29:29,489 --> 01:29:30,320
Mom!
1638
01:29:30,323 --> 01:29:31,323
My baby!
1639
01:29:33,159 --> 01:29:33,990
Navin.
1640
01:29:33,994 --> 01:29:34,825
Elvira!
1641
01:29:34,828 --> 01:29:37,161
I knew we'd find you.
1642
01:29:37,163 --> 01:29:37,994
Taj!
1643
01:29:37,998 --> 01:29:38,998
Don't kiss me.
1644
01:29:45,547 --> 01:29:48,290
I called them the night you left.
1645
01:29:48,300 --> 01:29:49,836
How did you find me?
1646
01:29:49,843 --> 01:29:50,879
I don't know.
1647
01:29:50,886 --> 01:29:52,172
This is the first place we looked.
1648
01:29:52,178 --> 01:29:54,340
We're takin' you home and
you're gonna live with us.
1649
01:29:54,347 --> 01:29:57,260
Turns out, Dad's a financial genius.
1650
01:29:57,267 --> 01:29:59,930
All I did was take
the money you sent home
1651
01:29:59,936 --> 01:30:02,679
and embarked on a periodic investment,
1652
01:30:02,689 --> 01:30:05,056
in a no-load mutual fund.
1653
01:30:05,066 --> 01:30:07,228
He leveraged his ass deep into soy beans
1654
01:30:07,235 --> 01:30:08,726
and cocoa futures.
1655
01:30:08,737 --> 01:30:09,737
Right on!
1656
01:30:11,698 --> 01:30:13,530
I picked out this thermos for you.
1657
01:30:18,496 --> 01:30:20,658
I'd kiss you, but I'm so dirty.
1658
01:30:20,665 --> 01:30:21,997
Dirt doesn't bother me.
1659
01:30:23,418 --> 01:30:24,829
But the smell does.
1660
01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:26,168
Oh, Navin.
1661
01:30:26,171 --> 01:30:27,171
Woo!
1662
01:30:29,174 --> 01:30:32,508
Son, you'd better get
in the back with the dog
1663
01:30:32,510 --> 01:30:34,797
until we can get you hosed down.
1664
01:30:44,272 --> 01:30:46,184
I love you, Navin.
1665
01:30:46,191 --> 01:30:47,648
I love you, too.
1666
01:30:49,319 --> 01:30:51,185
Somebody open a window!
1667
01:30:51,196 --> 01:30:52,983
Open all the windows.
1668
01:30:55,742 --> 01:30:57,904
I was so glad to be going home.
1669
01:30:57,911 --> 01:31:00,369
I remembered the days
when I sang and danced
1670
01:31:00,372 --> 01:31:03,285
with my family on the
porch of the old house.
1671
01:31:03,291 --> 01:31:05,203
But things change,
1672
01:31:05,210 --> 01:31:07,247
and with all the additions to the family,
1673
01:31:07,253 --> 01:31:08,994
we had to tear down the old house,
1674
01:31:09,005 --> 01:31:10,121
even though we loved it.
1675
01:31:10,131 --> 01:31:13,169
But we built us a bigger one.
1676
01:31:13,176 --> 01:31:14,667
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1677
01:31:14,678 --> 01:31:15,885
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1678
01:31:15,887 --> 01:31:17,003
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1679
01:31:17,013 --> 01:31:18,345
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1680
01:31:18,348 --> 01:31:19,555
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1681
01:31:19,557 --> 01:31:20,638
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1682
01:31:20,642 --> 01:31:21,883
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1683
01:31:21,893 --> 01:31:23,054
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1684
01:31:23,061 --> 01:31:24,177
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1685
01:31:24,187 --> 01:31:25,303
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1686
01:31:25,313 --> 01:31:26,554
♪ Jump down, turn around ♪
1687
01:31:26,564 --> 01:31:27,805
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1688
01:31:27,816 --> 01:31:29,102
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1689
01:31:29,109 --> 01:31:30,020
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1690
01:31:30,026 --> 01:31:31,437
♪ Gonna jump down turn around ♪
1691
01:31:31,444 --> 01:31:32,560
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1692
01:31:32,570 --> 01:31:33,856
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1693
01:31:33,863 --> 01:31:34,944
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1694
01:31:34,948 --> 01:31:36,155
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1695
01:31:36,157 --> 01:31:37,273
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1696
01:31:37,283 --> 01:31:38,524
♪ Well, me and my buddy's ♪
1697
01:31:38,535 --> 01:31:39,696
♪ gonna Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1698
01:31:39,703 --> 01:31:41,114
♪ Go around down, turn around ♪
1699
01:31:41,121 --> 01:31:42,202
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1700
01:31:42,205 --> 01:31:43,446
♪ Me and my buddy's gonna ♪
1701
01:31:43,456 --> 01:31:44,572
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1702
01:31:44,582 --> 01:31:45,663
♪ Me and my buddy's gonna ♪
1703
01:31:45,667 --> 01:31:46,828
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1704
01:31:46,835 --> 01:31:48,121
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1705
01:31:48,128 --> 01:31:49,289
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1706
01:31:49,295 --> 01:31:50,502
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1707
01:31:50,505 --> 01:31:51,746
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1708
01:31:51,756 --> 01:31:52,917
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1709
01:31:52,924 --> 01:31:54,085
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1710
01:31:54,092 --> 01:31:55,458
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1711
01:31:55,468 --> 01:31:56,549
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1712
01:31:56,553 --> 01:31:57,669
♪ Get on your knees ♪
1713
01:31:57,679 --> 01:31:59,011
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1714
01:31:59,014 --> 01:32:00,050
♪ Get on your knees ♪
1715
01:32:00,056 --> 01:32:01,422
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1716
01:32:01,433 --> 01:32:02,549
♪ All around ♪
1717
01:32:02,559 --> 01:32:03,891
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1718
01:32:03,893 --> 01:32:05,009
♪ All around ♪
1719
01:32:05,020 --> 01:32:06,136
♪ Pick a bale day ♪
1720
01:32:06,146 --> 01:32:07,262
♪ Gonna pack that hay ♪
1721
01:32:07,272 --> 01:32:08,513
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1722
01:32:08,523 --> 01:32:09,730
♪ Gonna pack that hay ♪
1723
01:32:09,733 --> 01:32:10,894
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1724
01:32:10,900 --> 01:32:12,107
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1725
01:32:12,110 --> 01:32:13,317
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1726
01:32:13,319 --> 01:32:14,526
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1727
01:32:14,529 --> 01:32:15,610
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1728
01:32:15,613 --> 01:32:16,820
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1729
01:32:16,823 --> 01:32:17,904
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1730
01:32:17,907 --> 01:32:19,193
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1731
01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:20,407
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1732
01:32:20,410 --> 01:32:21,526
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1733
01:32:21,536 --> 01:32:22,652
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1734
01:32:22,662 --> 01:32:23,869
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1735
01:32:23,872 --> 01:32:25,079
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1736
01:32:25,081 --> 01:32:26,242
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1737
01:32:26,249 --> 01:32:27,490
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1738
01:32:27,500 --> 01:32:28,536
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1739
01:32:28,543 --> 01:32:29,750
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1740
01:32:29,753 --> 01:32:31,335
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1741
01:32:31,337 --> 01:32:32,953
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1742
01:32:32,964 --> 01:32:34,000
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1743
01:32:34,007 --> 01:32:34,918
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1744
01:32:34,924 --> 01:32:36,165
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1745
01:32:36,176 --> 01:32:37,132
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1746
01:32:37,135 --> 01:32:38,467
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1747
01:32:38,470 --> 01:32:39,460
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1748
01:32:39,471 --> 01:32:40,757
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1749
01:32:40,764 --> 01:32:42,221
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1750
01:32:42,223 --> 01:32:43,509
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1751
01:32:43,516 --> 01:32:44,506
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1752
01:32:44,517 --> 01:32:45,849
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1753
01:32:45,852 --> 01:32:47,013
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1754
01:32:47,020 --> 01:32:48,227
♪ Gonna jump down, turn around ♪
1755
01:32:48,229 --> 01:32:49,470
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1756
01:32:49,481 --> 01:32:50,847
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1757
01:32:50,857 --> 01:32:51,813
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1758
01:32:51,816 --> 01:32:53,148
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1759
01:32:53,151 --> 01:32:54,267
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1760
01:32:54,277 --> 01:32:55,563
♪ Me and my wife gonna ♪
1761
01:32:55,570 --> 01:32:56,686
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1762
01:32:56,696 --> 01:32:57,812
♪ Me and my wife gonna ♪
1763
01:32:57,822 --> 01:32:58,983
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1764
01:32:58,990 --> 01:33:00,197
♪ Me and my wife gonna ♪
1765
01:33:00,200 --> 01:33:01,281
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1766
01:33:01,284 --> 01:33:02,445
♪ Me and my wife gonna ♪
1767
01:33:02,452 --> 01:33:03,863
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1768
01:33:03,870 --> 01:33:05,031
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1769
01:33:05,038 --> 01:33:06,154
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1770
01:33:06,164 --> 01:33:07,450
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1771
01:33:07,457 --> 01:33:08,618
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1772
01:33:08,625 --> 01:33:12,324
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1773
01:33:12,337 --> 01:33:20,861
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1774
01:33:23,640 --> 01:33:24,471
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1775
01:33:24,474 --> 01:33:25,305
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1776
01:33:25,308 --> 01:33:26,469
♪ Whoa Lordie ♪
1777
01:33:26,476 --> 01:33:27,683
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1778
01:33:27,685 --> 01:33:28,971
♪ Me and my wife gonna ♪
1779
01:33:28,978 --> 01:33:30,094
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
1780
01:33:30,105 --> 01:33:31,221
♪ Me and my wife gonna ♪
1781
01:33:31,231 --> 01:33:32,517
♪ Pick a bale a day ♪
1782
01:33:32,524 --> 01:33:33,605
♪ Me and my wife gonna ♪
1783
01:33:33,608 --> 01:33:34,769
♪ Pick a bale of cotton ♪
117249
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