Original subtitles

(Doorbell Rings)

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Clair!

Clair!

Come Here!

I Fixed It.

I Fixed The Bell.

Not Again.

Dear, I Swear, I Fixed It.

Today Is Theo's Graduation.

We Don't Have Time.

I Know It's A Big Day.

Now, Do Me A Favor.

Go Outside And Ring The Doorbell.

Come On.

Wait Till You Hear This.

Wait Till You Hear This.

Go Ahead.

(Doorbell Chiming)

(Electricity Crackling)

(Screams)

Oh, No...

What Happened?

Ooh, Wait!

Come Off That Ladder!

You're Around Here

Endangering People's Lives.

You Didn't Push It Right.

Come Off That Ladder And Leave That Bell Alone.

Hey, Mom.

How You Doing?

Hey, Dad.

What's Up, Man?

Oh, My Graduating- From-College Baby!

Listen, Go Out

And Push The Doorbell.

Will You?

What's All The Luggage For?

You're Not Moving Back, Are You?

You're Closer To The Airport

And It's Easier For Olivia And Me

To Leave In The Morning.

Singapore Bound.

Yes, Thanks To You And Your Generous Graduation Gift.

I'm Sure That Denise And Martin Appreciate

You Bringing Olivia To Them.

I'm Glad To Do It.

Of Course You Are.

Mom, I Have

Something For You To Wear For The Ceremony.

Wa-La!

Ooh! What A Lovely Corsage.

Thank You, Theo.

No Problem.

Look At That.

Beautiful.

That's... That's It?

Oh, No.

No, Here We Go.

Here We Go.

Yes! Mom, Here's Another Corsage For You.

No, Come On, Dad.

I'm Just Playing.

Here You Go-- Boutonniere

For The Big Guy.

Thank You.

Thank You.

Hers Is Bigger Than Mine.

I'll Just Put These In The Fridge.

Yeah.

(Phone Ringing)

Huxtable Residence.

Vanessa?

Listen, You Better Get On That Train And Get Here

Or Else You're Going To Miss Theo's Graduation.

Dabnis?

Yeah, Tell Him To Come On.

He Can Come To The Graduation.

Dad, Dad, Remember.

I Told You We Don't Have

Any Extra Tickets.

Bring Him!

This Is Your Graduation, Man.

Look, All I Need Are Four Tickets--

Four More Because I Have Your Uncle Thornhill

Aunt Rosie And Thornhill, Jr. And Now Dabnis.

You Don't Get It, Dad.

I Do Get It.

No, You Don't Understand.

You Don't Get It.

This Is Your Graduation.

This Is A Special Day.

Sa-Da!

Yo, Mom...

Hey. What's Up?

Mr. Pomp And Circumstance.

We're In Trouble.

Dad's Doing It.

It's Going To Be Princeton Again.

Oh, No! He Promised He Wouldn't.

What Happened There?

Sondra's Graduation.

She Had Six Tickets.

Dad Invited 29 People.

And Then He Used His Flash And Flood Method.

What's That?

He Flashed Six Tickets

In The Usher's Face

And Flooded 29 Relatives Through The Gate.

Only He Got Caught.

23 Of The Flood Watched The Graduation

From The Roof Of The Bargainelle Motel.

He Did Buy Them All Lawn Chairs.

The Tiny, Little Beach Kind.

Uncle Thornhill Threw

His Back Out.

Ah! I Need Some More Tickets.

Dad, No, Dad, Please.

Please, Please Listen To Me.

Remember, I Told You Before

Each Student At N.Y.U. Is Only Allowed Two Tickets.

Understood.

I Somehow Scraped Up Ten More For A Total Of 12.

So, So...

No, Dad.

There Are No More Tickets.

I Just Need Six Tickets.

Six?! A Minute Ago You Said Four.

I Know, But Jeffrey Engels, He Lives Next Door

And His Ex-Wife, They Want To Come.

They Remember You When You Were Like This, Man

And They Want To Come.

Dad...

Six Tickets More.

Do You Remember Princeton?

Of Course I Remember Princeton, But The Thing...

Dad...

Please Listen To Me.

I'm Listening.

There... Are...

No... More... Tickets.

Look At Me!

There Are No... Look.

There Are No More Tickets.

You Understand Me?

Okay, No More, Dad.

Hey, Gary.

Hi. How You Doing?

It's Theo.

Listen, Is It True That Professor Davis Gave You

An Incomplete In Chemistry?

Ooh, That's Really Too Bad.

Well, Listen

What Are You Going To Do With Your Graduation Tickets?

(Knock At Door)

Come In.

Well, Just Came Up To See How The Packing's Going.

Going To Singapore.

And, Um... This Is All The Packing You've Done So Far?

I See.

I See.

Okay, That's All You're Packing.

How's Everything Going?

Good.

I Made You Something To Remember Me By.

That's Wonderful.

This Is A Map In Case You Need

To Find Me.

Going To Singapore.

This Is The United States, And Here's Singapore.

That's Singapore.

You See All This Blue Here?

That's Water.

Ah! I See.

Now, What Are All These Triangles?

Oh. Those Are Sharks.

Sharks?!

Yes.

Oh, Boy.

I Gave You Something To Remember Me By.

Do You Have Anything To Give Me

To Remember You By?

Oh... Yes, I Have Something For You.

Really?!

But I Hesitate To Give It To You Because, Um...

You May Not Leave.

Meaning?

You've Seen People

Who Have Tried To Leave, And They Didn't Leave.

Yeah.

The Scientists Call It

A Vacuum Effect

And This Is Where People Really Try To Leave This House

But They Keep Getting Sucked Back In.

Um...

You Remember Uncle Elvin And Aunt Sondra And The Twins.

They Tried To Leave.

Victims Of The Vacuum Effect.

They Just Kept Getting Sucked Back In The Whole Time.

And My Feeling Is That You've Got To Train.

You've Got To Get In Shape To Fight That Vacuum

Because That Vacuum Sucks, It Pulls From Behind.

Let Me Show You.

Would You Like To Practice?

Why Not?

Let Me Show You.

This Is Your Luggage.

It Will Have More Clothing Than This, I Hope.

For Instance, You're Going To Go To Singapore.

I'm Going To Go To Singapore!

Now, Go For The Door.

See, There's No Vacuum, But Tomorrow There Will Be.

See, Now, I'm Going To Be The Vacuum.

Now, You Go On And Go For The Door.

Go For It.

You See?

It's Pulling.

Say Singapore!

Singapore!

Singapore!

Singapore!

Grab The Door! Turn The Knob!

This Is The Tough Part.

Singapore! Tomorrow!

We Got To Go.

Singapore!

So, Elaine, I Hear Chicago Is Socked In By Fog.

But I'm Sure Your Parents Probably Flew In Last Night

Right?

Oh, Wow, That's Too Bad.

Well, Listen

Do You Have Any Plans For Your Graduation Tickets?

Ah, Elaine, You're Wonderful.

Thanks A Bunch.

Bye.

Yes! Four Down, Two To Go.

(Doorbell Ringing)

(Electricity Crackling)

Dang!

Hey, Kenny. What's Up?

Your Dad's Been Working On That Doorbell Again, Huh?

Yeah, I Guess He Has.

Come On In.

You Look Pretty Sharp.

You Got A Big Date Tonight?

Good One, Theo.

Happy Graduation.

Thanks, Kenny.

So, We've Got Good Seats For The Ceremony?

Actually, Kenny, There's A Slight Problem.

The Tickets Are Kind Of Limited.

Anyone Who's Not Family Shouldn't Be Coming With Us.

That's What I Told Your Father When We Went Over

The Guest List.

Open Your Gift.

Okay.

Wow-- Tube Socks.

Six Pairs.

Actually, Five.

Gee, Kenny, I Don't Know What To Say.

It's The Least I Can Do.

You're The Brother I Never Had.

Yo, Kenny, You Have A Brother, Man.

Come On, Theo.

I'll Cover That Doorbell.

You Don't Want Any Legal Action Today.

Thanks.

Dad, Come Here.

I Need To Talk To You.

Tickets, Dad.

Why Did You Invite Kenny?

Kenny's Like Your Sister... Your Mother.

I Mean, You're The Brother He's Never Had.

Come On, Dad.

You Were Not Going To Invite Any More People.

Look, You Don't Want Kenny To Come

Then Uninvite Him.

The Boy Gave Me Tube Socks.

I Cannot Uninvite Him.

Then Get Him A Ticket!

All Right, Dad.

You Need Three Tickets.

I'll Get You Those Three Tickets.

Just Promise Me No More People And No Beach Chairs On Motels.

If They Ask Me, They're Coming-- Beach Chairs Or Not.

Ah-Ha, Memento.

Hello, There.

How You Doing?

What Are You Doing?

I Promised I Would Give Olivia A Present From My Heart.

What Did You Come Up With?

Well, I Got A Pen Light.

I'm So Moved.

To You, This Is Just A Pen Light

But You Don't Even Know What This Symbolizes.

Now, What Does It Symbolize?

Let Me See What This Symbolizes.

This Symbolizes "Layton Pharmaceuticals.

Thank You For Your Order."

To A Person Like You, This Means Nothing

But To A Child, This Is A World Of Magic.

The Lights Are Out In Her Little Bedroom

And She Wants To Read.

So She Hits This

And She Just Reads With That.

Or You Could Have Friends In Singapore.

You Could Signal The Sharks Or Something.

What Has That Got To Do With You?

I Don't Know.

But, But, Uh...

I Will Think Of Something.

What Is Your Problem With The Truth?

Children Like It When You Tell Them The Truth.

You Should Try It Sometimes.

That's Absolutely Correct.

However, Do You Realize

That "Imagination Is More Important Than Knowledge"?

You Know Who Said That?

Albert Einstein.

Cliff, "Listen To Yourself."

Do You Know Who Said That?

Clair Huxtable.

Yoo-Hoo.

Anybody Home?

Hello, There.

What Are You Two Doing Here?

We Came To See Uncle Theo Graduate.

Oh, That's So Sweet.

Is That Your Dress?

No, This Is What Theo's Wearing To The Graduation.

He's Wearing A Dress?

No, Darling, This Is A Graduation Gown

And All The Graduates-- Everybody Who Graduates--

Gets To Wear One And One Of These Caps.

Why?

Because It's Tradition.

Why?

Because... When, Um...

Uh, A Long Time Ago When People Lived In Castles

All The Smart People Who Went To School

Used To Dress Like This Every Day.

Why Does It Look So Funny?

Yeah, Why?

Because When You Learn, You Work Up An Appetite.

So, When, Um...

The Lord And Lady Students Would Get Hungry

They Would Come Out Of Ye Olde Library

Take A Seat On The Steps

And They Would Use Each Others Hats

As Snack Tables.

Snack Tables?

Oh, Yes.

They Used To Eat Little Medieval Cheese Sandwiches.

What's This Thing For?

This Is Called A Tassel.

Now, When You Finish Your Sandwich

You Take This And Wipe The Crumbs Off.

Wow!

See, You Learned Something, Didn't You?

I Bet You Worked Up An Appetite.

Why Don't You Go Down And Get Something To Eat?

Okay.

Cliff, What Are You Doing?

I'm Searching For The Truth.

Give Me That Pen Light.

No. I Got To Find My Snack Table.

Give That To Me.

Excuse Me.

Everybody's Here-- Even Dabnis.

We'll Be Right Down.

Okay.

Now, What Is The Feeling Between The Two Of Us

About Dabnis And Vanessa?

We're Confused.

Absolutely, Absolutely.

Please.

Ah, Grandma, Thank You For Coming.

Hey, Grandpa.

Theo, Congratulations.

Here's Something For You.

Keep It To Yourself.

Hey, Thanks, Grandpa.

I Told You To Put That In An Envelope.

Grandma, It's Okay.

I Don't Mind.

Hey, My Mother-In-Law.

My Mother-In-Law.

All Right.

How Are You?

What's Happening, Dad?

Nice To See You.

Little Something For You Too.

Keep It To Yourself.

He Gave Me A Quarter.

A Quarter.

It's Walking-Around Money.

The Man Gave Me A Quarter, But I'm Not Embarrassed.

No, You Will Not Get It Back.

Dr. Huxtable.

Hi, Daddy.

Dabnis.

Yes, Sir.

Dabnis, Dabnis, Dabnis, Dabnis.

How Are You, Sir?

Hi, Dad.

Dabnis.

How Are You, Vanessa?

We're Just Friends, Okay?

Well, Aren't We All?

No, I'm Serious.

We Are Just Friends.

Well, Friends, Lunch Is Served.

Dabnis...

Grandpa Al!

Dr. Elvin, Good To See You.

Good To See You Again, All Right.

Guess I'll Keep It To Myself.

Uh, Mom?

Uh, Listen.

I Don't Want To Put A Damper On This

But Could You Do Something About Dad?

What?

He's Driving Me Up The Wall With These Tickets.

Your Dad Is Just Being Your Dad.

But Today He's Being More Dad Than Ever.

I Was In The Backyard

And He Was Hosing Down The Beach Chairs.

Theo, Try To Understand This, Son.

The Frenzy That You Think Your Father Is In

Is Not The Frenzy That He's In.

Then, What Kind Of Frenzy Is He In?

It Started 21 Years Ago When You Were Born.

Just Like He Promised Sondra And Denise

He Promised You An Education.

He Hoped You Would Have The Same Love For Learning That He Has

But There Were Times We Weren't Sure You'd Make It

Out Of High School.

I Did Put A Scare Into You.

Yes, You Did.

Well, Thank Goodness You Made It To College

And We Found Out About Your Learning Difference.

Somebody Else Would Have Used That

As An Excuse To Just Give Up

But You Did The Opposite.

And Look At You Today.

So How Can You Expect

Your Father To Contain Himself?

I Can't Contain Myself

And Why Should I?

My Baby's Graduating From College.

We'll Be Right Back With The Cosby Show

After These Commercials.

When Your Father Graduated

They Called His Name, He Walked Across The Stage

Accepted His Diploma In His Left Hand

Shook Hands With His Right

Then He Proceeded To Hug Every Person On The Dais

Including The Ushers.

He Held Up The Ceremony For Seven Minutes.

Dad Sure Knows How To Celebrate, Huh?

Yes, Especially When It Comes To Learning.

Denise Is On The Phone.

She Wants To Talk To Everybody.

Come On, Sweetie.

Cliff: Singapore Sweetheart.

How's The Lieutenant Doing?

Protecting The Country?

Denise! Honey, I'm Not Going To Talk Long

Because I Know You Want To Talk To Theo

And Wish Him Congratulations.

What?

My Baby.

What?

My Baby's Having A Baby.

(Screaming And Cheering)

Hello, Denise.

It's Me.

We're Having A Baby.

Now, Don't Let It Be Born Till I Get There.

Okay, Denise.

He's Right Here.

Bye, Denise.

Bye, Baby!

Sorry, Dad.

Hey, Denise, How You Doing?

Uncle Theo, Here.

Yeah, Well, Congratulations To You Too.

I'll See You Tomorrow.

All Right.

Denise, Honey.

Yes, Listen To Your Grandma Carrie.

Sit Down As Much As You Can Now

Because You Will Never Sit Down Again.

Never.

And If Martin Starts To Get On Your Nerves

And That Smile

You Used To Think Was So Sexy

Now Looks Stupid, Don't Tell Him.

It Will Pass Most Likely.

Tell Her, Grandma.

Excuse Me, Son.

Hey, Denise, Now, Listen.

This Is Very Important Advice.

Don't Ever Call Anybody Ugly

'Cause The Baby Will Look Just Like Them.

(Everyone Laughing)

Now, You Get Yourself Some Rest. Bye.

(Kissing Sounds)

She Needs Her Rest.

Grandpa, We're Ready.

Nelson: Yeah, Let's Go.

Come Here, Both Of You.

Stand Right Here.

Now, You Know We're Going Out To The Big Graduation.

The Big Celebration, Right?

Now, There's Certain Things

I Don't Want You To Say Out Loud Anymore.

Now, What Was It That You Said To That Man, Remember?

What Did You Say?

Ooh, Look. That Man Has Hair Growing Out Of His Ears.

Correct. If You See Hair Growing Out Of The Ears

Let It Grow.

You Don't Have To Tell The Man About It.

All Right, Now

For You, You Don't Say Out Loud

The Way You Did The Last Time, What?

Ooh, That Lady's Old.

Yeah. That Isn't Nice.

And I Want You To Understand

That We Cannot Spend The Afternoon

Picking You Up And Taking You To The Bathroom.

Now, Do You Have To Go Now?

Hammer Time!

All Right.

Go On Out, Go On Out.

Hammer Out, Hammer Out.

Well, Son, I Know This Is Your Big Day.

Yeah, Dad.

First The Daughter Graduates, And Now The Son.

Oh, Boy.

And We're All Proud Of You, Son.

Well, Dad, I'm Proud Of Myself, Thank You Very Much.

But As We All Know, Son

You Get A Little Exuberant At These Functions.

I Would Never Do Anything To Embarrass The Family.

Confetti, Son?

Yeah, Well, You Know, You Just...

And Isn't This The Thing You Used At Princeton?

(Horn Honking)

It's, Uh... Crowd Control.

Well, You Just Control Yourself, Son.

Yes. Okay.

...Tell Me To Control Myself.

I'm A Grown Man, Living In My Own House.

Russell: What Was That, Son?

Nothing, Sir.

Sweetheart, Are You

Wearing A Slip?

Grandma!

All Right, Everybody, Move The Wagons Out.

We're Still Short Three Tickets.

I Got Beach Chairs Here.

(Everyone Groaning)

Dad, Wait A Minute.

Elvin And I Will Stay Here.

I'm The Extra Man.

I Won't Go.

You Can't Do That, Honey.

Honey?

We're Just Friends. We're Just Friends.

We Will Stay.

Sondra, You Go.

No, No, No. What Is This?

Everybody's Quitting?

Dad, We Do Not Have Enough Tickets.

I Understand That.

So This Is All Of A Sudden Reminding You All Of What?

All: Princeton!

And As Far As You

Are All Concerned, Some Horrible Things Happened?

What Were They?

The Security Guard.

The Tow Truck.

The Doberman.

It Was A German Shepherd.

See, That's How Much You People Remember.

We're Going To A Graduation

And I Don't Know What's Going To Happen

But I Bet You It Will Be Something

That You Will Never Forget.

You Got That Right, Son.

I'm Going On Ahead.

You Do What You Want To Do.

Give Me One Of The Chairs.

I'll Take One, Dad.

Give Me One Of Those.

All Right.

Now, Binoculars?

Everybody Raise Your Binoculars.

Down. Cameras.

Up... And Down.

All Right.

Let's Head Out.

Oh, Wait.

The Guest Of Honor.

All: Theo!

(Cheering)

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go, Theo.

Hey, Beach Chairs.

Yes.

Why Not?

That's Right. Okay...

Uh, Excuse Me.

One Side.

Let The Man Through.

Theo, Three Tickets.

That's The Best I Could Do.

This Is Unbelievable.

Where Did You Get These?

My Brother.

Your Brother?

Yeah.

My Brother Says If You Can't

Do Something Nice For A Neighbor

Don't Bother Living Next Door.

All Right, Bud.

Cliff: Move It

Everybody, Quickly

Come On, Out Of Here.

Hurry Up, Hurry Up.

You Know The Cars You're In.

Come On, You Two.

And Make Sure The 92 Shows.

Okay. Okay. You're Ready.

Let Me See You.

Hit A Spin.

(Chuckling)

Oh, Boy.

Oh, Boy.

Hey, Dad, Thanks For Everything.

Thank You.

Get In The Car

And Leave Room For Your Mother.

All Right, Here We Go Again.

Yes.

Here We Go Again. Yes...

Oh, Oh, Oh...

Honey, What Are You Doing?

Just In Case.

Just In Case.

Excuse Me. Could You Move Down?

Sorry, Brother.

These Seats Are Reserved.

Yeah.

Hey.

Mrs. Huxtable, Dr. Huxtable

I Saved Two Prime Seats For You.

And My Lance

Was Very Territorial On Your Behalf.

Oh, Lance.

Thank You.

Anybody See Theo?

Left Side Of The Park, 46th Row, 18th Man In.

I Got Him!

Speaker: You Are The Leaders Of The Next Millennium.

You Hear That?

The Next Millennium.

Our Son And Daughters.

Speaker: ...Service, Involvement--

Of Giving Your Fair Share...

(Knocking)

Cliff: Theo.

Yo.

Hard To Get Good Help, Isn't It?

Son...

Your Mother Asked Me

To Come Up Here And Kill You.

Hey, I Know.

You Know What?

What You're Going To Say

And It's Under Control, So...

No Problem. No Problem.

How Do You Expect

To Get Into College With These Grades?

No Problem. Huh?

I'm Not Going To College.

Damn Right.

I'll Get Through High School

And Then Get A Job Like Regular People.

Regular People?

Yeah, You Know, Who Work In A Gas Station

Or Drive A Bus.

So You're Saying

Your Mother And I Shouldn't Care If You Get D's

Because You Don't Need Good Grades

To Be Regular People.

Right.

Okay.

Oh...

Suppose... You Graduate From High School.

Let's Say You Just Slide By.

You've Got To Find A Job.

What Kind Of Salary Do You Expect

For A Regular Person?

Mmm... $250 A Week.

$250 Dollars A Week?

Yeah. Sit Down.

I'll Give You $300 A Week.

Yes, Indeed.

$300 A Week--

$1,200 A Month.

All Right?

I'll Take It!

Yes, You Will.

And I Will Take $350 For Taxes...

Whoa!

Because The Government Comes

For The Regular People First.

How Much Does That Leave You With?

$850.

All Right.

Now, You've Got To Have An Apartment

Because You Are Not Going To Live Here.

So, An Apartment In Manhattan

Will Run You At Least $400 A Month.

I'll Live In New Jersey.

All Right.

You Live In New Jersey, You've Got To Have A Car.

I'll Ride A Motorbike.

You Need A Helmet.

Figure A Hundred A Month For Clothes And Shoes.

Figure 200-- I Want To Look Good.

So What Does That Leave You With?

$200.

So, No Problem.

There Is A Problem.

You Haven't Eaten Yet.

I Can Get By On Bologna And Cereal.

So I've Got Everything I Need Plus $200 Left For The Month.

Plan To Have A Girl Friend?

For Sure.

Regular People.

Vanessa: Denise, Open This Door!

Vanessa.

Open This Door!

Vanessa!

Vanessa.

Come Here.

Come Here.

Here, Here, Here.

There Is There.

This Is Here-- Come Here.

Denise Pushed Us Out Of The Bathroom

And The Shampoo Is In Rudy's Eyes

And Now Rudy Might Be Blinded For Life.

If She Is, Can We Get A Dog?

Dad, I Thought About What You Said

And I See Your Point.

Thank You. Thank You.

But I Have A Point Too.

Make Your Point.

You're A Doctor And Mom's A Lawyer.

You're Both Successful

And That's Great.

But Maybe I Was Born To Be A Regular Person

And Have A Regular Life.

If You Weren't A Doctor, I Wouldn't Love You Less

Because You're My Dad.

And So, Instead Of Acting Disappointed

Because I'm Not Like You

Maybe You Can Just Accept Who I Am

And Love Me Anyway...

Because I'm Your Son.

Theo...

That's The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard In My Life!

No Wonder You Get D's In Everything.

Now, You Are Afraid To Try

Because You're Afraid That Your Brain Is Going To Explode

And Ooze Out Of Your Ears.

Now, I'm Telling You

You Are Going To Try As Hard As You Can

And You're Going To Do It Because I Said So!

I Am Your Father.

I Brought You In This World, And I'll Take You Out.

Now, Son, Come Here.

Come Here.

Now Listen To Me.

I Just Want You To Do The Best You Can.

That's All.

I'll Try, Dad, I Really Will.

I Love You.

Yeah, Dad. Huh?

I Know. Yeah.

And Maybe...

Your Mother Loves You Too.

Announcer: All Candidates For The Bachelor Of Science Degree

Department Of Psychology, Please Stand.

Theo!

(Cheering)

Please Be Seated.

All Candidates...

What Happened?

Theo Just Graduated, Dear.

What Do You Mean?

They Stood Up And Then She Said, "Please Be Seated."

That's What You Do When You Have 8,000 Graduates.

Dear, When We Graduated, What Did They Say?

They Didn't Say, "Stand And Sit Down."

What Do You Get If You Go To Graduate School--

Jumping Jacks?

If They Called Everybody's Name

We'd Be Here Till Tomorrow Night.

I Would Love To Hear My Son's Name.

Dear, We Spent Close To $100,000.

They Didn't Say, "Everybody Stand And Be Seated."

!They Said, "Individually, Sign Your Check."

Hey, Dad?

When I Graduated, What Happened?

I Stood Up, Didn't I?

And They Called My Name, Remember, Mom?

And What Did I Do, Honey?

You Were There.

You Shook Hands With Everybody...

Of Course.

...And Hugged Everybody.

And My Father Came Up On The Stage

And Walked With Me, Didn't You, Dad?

Yes.

And My Father Said

"This Is My Diploma As Well As My Son's."

We're Going To Go Now.

We're Going To Go Sit In The Car.

It's Over?

It's Over, Dear.

There's Nothing Else?

Just Stand Up And Sit Down?

That's It, Darling.

All Right. I've Graduated.

I'm Going To Graduate Again.

I'm Going To Go To Teacher's College.

There You Go.

Yeah, Son, It Was A Great Day.

Say, Cliff, We're On For Dinner Next Thursday Night?

Let's Make It Wednesday. Why Wait?

But Still At 8:00?

8:00.

You Got It.

Take Care Now.

Where Did Your Wife Go?

Here She Is.

Hey, Guys.

Cliff: All Right.

Everything All Right?

Yeah.

There's A Graduation Party Out There

With My Name On It.

Well, Go Forth And Graduateth Party.

You Guys, Thanks A Lot.

You Don't Need Anything, Do You?

No, I'm Cool.

Good Night, Son.

Did You Go In My Pocket Upstairs?

Not At All.

Don't Wait Up For Me.

I'll Be Back Kind Of Late.

(Door Closes)

Well...

I Love Days Like This.

Yeah. Yeah, Yeah...

'Cause I Like

To See You Smile.

Yeah.

And You Never Smile As Much

As On Days Like This.

Yeah. Yeah.

I Got Something To Make You Smile.

Really?

You Better Believe It.

First, You Need A Little Mood Lighting.

Oh.

I'm Smiling So Far.

Now...

I Want You To Go Outside And Ring The Doorbell.

No, I'm Serious.

Honey, I've Fixed The Doorbell

And When You Hear It, You Will Smile.

Honest.

I Don't Think So.

Okay. I'll Go Out

And I'll Ring The Doorbell Myself.

Yes, And I Will Dial 9-1-1.

No, No. It Works Now

And It Works The Way I Want It To Work.

Uh-Huh.

All Right.

You Think I'm Kidding.

Here You Go.

(Doorbell Chiming)

(Becomes Mellow Jazz Music)

Ooh, Lord.

Is He Looking At Us?

Come On, Let's Go.

You've Never Danced With Me Like That Before.

Vanessa: Dad, I Have Something To Tell You.

Cliff: I Just Finished Working 18 Hours In The Hospital.

I Delivered Over 8,000 Babies.

It's An Earring, Dad.

Have You Been Tagged By The Wildlife Society?

We're Here To Say Good-Bye

To Lamont...

Goldfish.

I Always Felt Safe With Him Around.

(Blues Playing)

♪ You Know The Nighttime, Now ♪

♪Wah Do Day♪

♪ Is The Right Time ♪

♪Wah Do Day♪

♪ To Be ♪

♪Wah Do Day♪

♪ With The One You Love, Now ♪

♪Wah Do Day♪

♪ Sing Your Song ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪Wah Do Day♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪Wah Do Day♪

♪ Whooo, Baby, Now ♪

♪Wah Do Day♪

♪ Well, You Know I'm Right ♪

♪Wah Do Day...♪

♪ Yeah, Yeah. ♪

This Is Woman Stuff.

I Think I Need Mom.

I'm A Gynecologist.

You Want To Talk To A Lawyer?

Mom... Dad...

Oh, It's So Good To Be Home.

I'm Engaged.

To Do What?

To Be Married.

All: Whoa!

Grandparent.

We're Almost There, Honey.

What Do You Mean, "We"?!

Congratulations.

You Are The Grandparents Of A Healthy Boy.

(Screaming)

And A Girl.

What?

Twins?

Two Babies?

I Hope I Can Do As Good A Job With My Children

As You've Done With Yours.

It's Not Every Day

A Man Meets The Parents Of The Woman He Married.

Mom, I'm A Mom.

Kitchen.

Cliff: You Don't Realize How Hard We've Worked

To Try And Get All These Children Out Of This House.

I'm Not Leaving Here.

If You Want To Go, Fine.

Cliff: The 22 Years I've Been Married To You

Have Been The Happiest "One Day At A Time"

I've Ever Had In My Life.