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Okay, I'll Cut It
And You Get To Pick Which Half You Want.
Yummy!
Oh! Hey, Hey.
No, No, No.
What Are You Doing With That Knife?
It's Just A Butter Knife.
We're Cutting
The Fudgie Log.
Fudgie Log.
Winnie Brought It Over
As A Sleep-Over Treat.
Yeah. We're Sharing.
Yes.
Yes. Yes, Sharing.
So, We'll Cut It Into Threes.
Three?
Yeah, Three, Three.
You Cut It In Threes Because...
I Mean, We're All Sleeping Over, Aren't We?
Threes.
I Knew We Should Have Done This Upstairs.
And Don't Forget
When I Finish Cutting This Into Threes
Then You Guys Take This Upstairs
Because Grandma Is Having Company Over, All Right?
That's Right.
She's Inviting Her Old College Friends Over.
We Better Get Out Of Here.
All Right.
(Door Opening)
Hey!
Hi, Dad.
How Are You?
And Dab...
Uh...
This Is Baathie Ndiaie.
Um, Baathie, Permettez-Moi De Vous Presenter Mon Pere
Dr. Huxtable.
He's Not Rude, Dad.
He Speaks French
But He Doesn't Speak Much English.
Baathie Is An Exchange Student From Senegal
And I'm Showing Him Around New York This Weekend.
Well, Let Me Just Drop These Bags Off
In Rudy's Room.
Excusez Moi,Baathie.
Um, Will You Have A Sit-Down?
So, Uh...
You, Uh...
You, Uh, Are A Friend Of, Uh...
Of My... Of Vanessa's.
Pardon?
Um, Vanessa.
Comment?
Uh, Como Se Diche...
Uh...
My, My, My Daughter...
Um, Has You For A Friend
And You Have Come To My Home.
I Welcome You Here.
However, She Had A Fiance
And His Name Was Dabnis.
Excusez Moi?
Do You Know She Was Engaged
And Her Fiance's Name Was Dabnis
And I Liked Him?
And I Want To Know Who You Are.
Excusez Moi?
Where Are Your Bags
Because You're Not Staying Here.
Hello.
Ah, Dear, I Want You To Meet...
This Is Vanessa's Friend.
She Brought Him Here For The Weekend.
He Speaks No English.
This Is Mr. Bokchoi.
Baathie.
Baathie.
(Together:) Baathie.
Baathie.
Ah, Very Nice
To Meet You, Baathie.
Hi, Mom.
Well, Mom, Dad...
Right.
We're Leaving.
Yes, You Are.
And Have A Nice Time.
Qu'est Ce Que C'est Dabnis?
Clair
What's First On The Agenda?
Professor Caple Of Hillman Is Retiring
And Our Chapter Of The Alumni Association
Is Organizing The Farewell Banquet.
Well, Let's Get On With It
Because I Have Quite A Few Things
To Say About Professor Caple.
We All Have A Few Things To Say About Professor Caple
But Let's Wait Till Leah Gets Here.
While We Wait
We Can Have A Hillman Class Of '63 Update.
Ladies, Anyone With Children Doing Dazzling Things
With Their Lives?
Okay. Anyone With Ungrateful Children
Who Make It Their Business
To Drive The Arrows Through Your Heart?
Now You're Talking.
You Take It First.
My Daughter Elaine
Has Decided To Remain At Hillman.
What Year Is She?
We Don't Know.
Ruth, What's Her Major?
We Don't Know.
How Much Is It Costing You?
Now That We Know.
My Son Christopher--
He Is Now A Sophomore Emeritus.
He's Been There So Long They Think He's A Professor.
Meanwhile, On The Home Front
My Son Harold
Has A Severe Case Of "Mom, I Know That."
Oh, Dear, He Must Be 16.
I Tell Him, "Harold
"If You're Going To Pull Up Your Grades
You Have To..."
"Mom, I Know That."
Then I Tell Him, "If You Want To Get A Job
You Have To..."
"Mom, I Know That."
And Then I Tell Him
"Harold, If You Are 18 And You Are Not In College
The Money Stops."
He Tells Me, "Mom, Tell Me Something I Don't Know."
I Been There.
What Are You Doing Now, Maxine?
I'm In Grad School-- Art History.
Go 'Head, Girl.
(Doorbell Rings)
There She Is.
Leah!
Hi, Baby.
Sorry I'm Late, Everybody.
Perils Of Public Transportation
And I Hadto Stop
And Get Some Sneakers For My 13-Year-Old.
At Least I Think They're Sneakers.
Honey, They're Called "Air Warriors."
They Got A Pump, Liquid In The Soles
And An Inner Tube Around The Ankles.
Now, I Don't Know If They're Sneakers
Or Some Kind Of Flotation Device.
Is Your Son Playing Basketball Now?
Jason? No.
He Wears Them To Watch Tv.
(Laughing)
Is He Wearing Overalls?
Oh, Yes.
You Know My Rudy?
I Beg That Girl Every Day
"Honey, Please Fasten Up Both Sides Of Those Things."
We Went To The Market Last Week
And People Thought She Had Just Brought In The Produce.
Where Were We On The Agenda?
Professor Caple's Testimonial.
Now Listen To This.
I Had It Written Down.
That's Okay.
I Know It By Heart.
Professor Jean Caple
Is One Of America's Foremost Philosophical Minds.
She Has Written Six Books.
She Was Very Active In The Civil Rights Movement
But She Always Had Time For Her 19-Year-Old Students.
Boring.
Nap Time.
Besides, It Doesn't Say Anything
About What The Woman Is Really Like.
If You Want
To Describe Professor Caple
You Got To Start With The Hat.
Oh, The Hat!
The Hat.
She Wore That Hat Every Day.
That Old Yellow Felt Thing With The Wire Brim.
She Could Shape It In 16 Different Ways.
She'd Flip To One Side
And Come In Looking Like A Pirate
And Then Snatch It Around To The Front
And Walk Out Looking Like A Yellow Rose.
She Could Work A Hat.
Well, What Are We Supposed To Say, Clair?
That Professor Caple
Was One Of The Hardest Professors At Hillman.
She Always Flunked You With A Smile.
My Transcript Had All "A's"
Not Even An "A-"
And She Gave Me A "C."
She Kept Writing On My Paper
"Dig Deeper. An Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living."
There Wasn't No Deeper To Get.
One Day Cliff And I Decided To Leave Campus
And Go To Virginia Beach.
Uh-Oh.
I Know, But We Did It Anyway.
So There We Were Walking Along On The Sand
Holding Hands, Being Romantic, Having A Good Time
And Who Is On The Beach Clamming?
Yes, She Was.
Professor Caple
And Had That Hat Full Of Steamers.
Yes, She Did!
I Used To Dream About Her.
I'd Be Snatching That Yellow Hat Off Her Head
And Underneath It Was Another Yellow Hat.
I'd Snatch That One Off...
Another One.
All She Kept Saying Was, "Dig Deeper.
Dig Deeper."
So Where Are You Going Tonight, Ms. Tibideaux?
The Circus.
I Have Just The Right Style For That-- Ringlets.
Hey, Get Your Red-Hot Blankets Here.
Red-Hot Blankets For The Sleepover.
Red-Hot Blankets.
Here You Go.
Sir, Please, This Is Not A Bedroom.
I Beg Your Pardon?
Well...
What Is It?
Olivia's House Of Beauty.
Oh, I'm...
I Must Be In The Wrong Place
Because I Was Looking For An Apartment
With Two Bachelorette Girls.
Well, Come Here, Darling.
They're Not Here
But You Look Like You Could Use A Little Touch-Up.
Do You Have An Appointment?
No, No, I'm Just A Guy.
I Could Do Wonders With That.
Let Me Check My Book.
Hmm...
We Might Be Able To Fit You In.
Well, I Would Love That If It's All Right.
I'll Be Right Back, Ms. Tibideaux.
Come Over Here To The Sink.
To The Sink?
Yes. Yes.
We Need To Give You A Shampoo First
To Put The Shine Back In.
Yes... Okay.
I Thought I'd Lost It.
(Imitating Running Water)
Now You Tell Me If It's Too Hot Or Too Cold.
Well...
I Can...
I Can Feel...
I Can Feel The Tingle.
You May Want To Consider A Color Rinse
To Get Rid Of This Gray Up Here.
Yes... What?
To Get Rid Of This Gray Up Here.
Gray, Um...
Do You Have Any Baldness In Your Family?
Yes, Uh, Yes...
But Why?
Is My Hair Getting Thin?
Never Mind.
Well, What Color Do You Suggest?
May I Suggest Light Blue?
It's Very Popular With People Your Age.
Madame Olivia, I'm Waiting.
Just A Little Bit Longer.
You'll Be So Happy.
Now, We're Going To Put You In A Towel.
Yes.
Would You Like To Read While You Wait?
Yes, I Would.
Here's A Nice Style Book
In Case You Want To Make A Hair Move.
You Must Be Getting Tired
Of That Same Old Look.
What Do You Suggest?
Ringlets.
Ringlets?
Is That What You're Getting?
Oh, Yes.
This Is For The Circus.
Stunning.
You Look Good.
Thank You Very Much.
You're Welcome.
Now, A Little Hair Spray...
(Imitating Spraying)
And You Are A Dream.
But You Should Make The First Statement.
Magnificent.
Let Me Walk You To Your Car, Ms. Tibideaux.
Thank You.
Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey.
I'll Be Right With You, Sir.
You Can't Rush Beauty.
Oh...
Hello, Madame Olivia.
I'll Be Right With You.
I Thought I Had The 6:00 Appointment.
Who Would Have Thought Little Rose Patterson?
The Dormitory Wallflower.
Not Me.
And There She Was--
Going Out With That Agricultural Major--
Poultry Division.
We Called Him "Turkeyneck Clark."
Had Those Hairs Here.
(Imitating Turkey Gobble)
With His Collar Buttoned Up.
What A Geek.
That Geek Owns Half The State Of Virginia.
That's Right.
Two Words: "Turkey Loaf."
Then It's True?
People Like Turkeyneck Clark
Frighten Me.
Why? Why?
Because When My Son Christopher
Reads An Article Like That, He Wants To Go Out
And Put A Down Payment On His Own Turkey Farm.
He Does Not Realize The Work
That Man Put Into Something Like That.
These Kids Don't See Work.
They See The Cash Rolling In.
What Do They Want?
Money.
When? Now.
Whose Do They Want?
Mine. Mine. Mine.
But Ladies, We Are Not Without Blame.
We Are The Ones Who Buy Expensive Sneakers
For People To Sit Up And Watch Television In.
I Don't Think Any Of Us Were Interested In Clothes.
Well... Except Millicent Here.
Yes, It's True.
I Like To Dress Well.
Still Do.
But I Was With You Guys At Gilliam's Five And Dime.
The Lunch Counter...
Thursday, April 25, 1963.
I Was Never So Scared In My Life.
Do You Remember How We Marched In?
Oh, Yes, We Were The Second Shift.
We Came Shoulder To Shoulder
Tapped The First Shift On The Back
They Moved Off Their Stools To The Left...
And Then We Got In On The Right And Sat Down...
And Who Was Sitting At The End Of That Lunch Counter?
The Yellow Hat.
Mm-Hmm.
Shaped Like Napoleon.
Professor Caple Under It.
The Sound Of Those Heavy Feet
Coming Across That Linoleum Floor Towards Us
We Just Kept Looking Straight Ahead...
And All Of A Sudden, "Hey, Girl!"
Ooh, I Knew They Were Right Behind Us.
Listen, The Next Thing I Heard Was
"You Look Downright Thirsty, Girlie"
And They Poured Coke In My Lap.
They Really Got You Good, Millicent.
I Thought You Would Lose It.
They Sure Did.
What Did They Say?
"You Ain't Getting Nothing To Eat."
Then They Shook This Ketchup Bottle In My Face.
Then They Said, "How About Some Ketchup?"
They Poured That Stuff All Over My Dress.
I Was So Glad That
That Was Just Ketchup Running Down My Dress.
And You Almost Broke.
Yeah, But I Looked Over There
And Saw The Yellow Hat Sitting Straight Up
Straight As A Board, Eyes Dead Ahead.
She Didn't Even Look At Me.
She Said, "Don't You Move."
When Professor Caple Says, "Don't Move"
You Don't Move.
The Next Day, When We Went To Class
We Were So Proud.
What Did Professor Caple Say?
"Ladies...
"You Have A Responsibility...
(Laughing)
"To Fight Injustice.
"And You Have A Responsibility To Educate Yourselves.
"Now Yesterday, When You Missed My Class
"You Chose One Over The Other.
"And I Have Asked My Substitute
To Give You All An "F" For The Day."
After All We Had Been Through.
Oh, She Made Me So Mad.
But Do You Know She Was Right?
I Went Back To See Her After Class.
You Did?
I Wanted To Talk About That Lunch Counter.
I Wanted To Know How People Could Hate Like That.
I Figured If Anybody Had The Answer
It Would Be A Professor Of Philosophy.
It Was The Only Time
She Did Not Have An Answer
But She Did Say Something
That I Have Cherished
Which Is Why I Volunteered To Organize This Dinner.
What Was That?
She Told Me I Was Her Favorite Student.
That's Lovely, Clair
Because She Told Me I Was Her Favorite Student.
Same Thing.
She Told Me
I Was Her Very Favorite Student And She Gave Me A "C."
I Got You There.
She Gave Me An "F."
And She Told Me That I Was Her
Most Favorite Student.
Clair
Do You Have Professor Caple's Phone Number?
Oh, Yes, I Do.
Her Favorite Students
Would Like To Call Her And See How She's Doing.
Maybe I Can Get Her To Up My Grade.
Oh, Millicent...
Dig Deeper.
Cliff: โช Ta-Dum โช
โช Ta-Dum. โช
And, Um... How Was Your Day?
Professor Caple Sends Her Regards.
Professor Caple.
My Goodness Gracious.
What Is She Doing With Herself?
She Said That She Did Not See The Logic
In Five Busy Women Trying To Plan A Dinner
For An 83-Year-Old Retiree
And Told Millicent To Get On With Her Life.
Dig Deeper.
You Know...
At The End Of The Semester
She Told Me That...
Of All The Students...
She'd Ever Had...
That I Was Her Favorite...
Her Favorite Student.
And I Bet You Were.
Mm-Hmm.
She Gave Me A "C."
You Know, Whenever You Have One Of These Alumni Meetings
I Feel Good.
I Start To Think About The Good Old Hillman Days.
I Know.
Remember When We Used To Walk Around That Campus
With Ivy-Covered And Holly-Covered Buildings?
We'd Be Holding Hands...
Yes.
Talking About Getting Married...
Yes, Please.
Having Children...
Yes, Please.
Did We Do It?
Yes, We Did. Huh?
Yes, We Did. Yes, We Did.
We Kicked It All, Didn't We?
You Know What Else I Remember?
What?
What Was That Perfume?
It Must Have Cost 13 Cents.
(Laughing)
What Was It?
It Cost 15 Cents, And It Was Lemon Verbena.
Whoo, Whoo, Whoo.
I Tell You, I Loved It.
I Loved It!
I'm Going To Tell You Something.
When We Ran Track
Running That 440
Which Is One Of The Worst Races On The Face Of This Earth
And I Would Get To The 330 Mark
And Rig Would Start To Grab Me, And Bend Muscles Back
And Three Fourths Of My Brain Was Saying
"If You Stop Now, You'll Still Be Alive."
And I'd Close My Eyes 'Cause I'm On The Straightaway
And I Smelled Your Perfume All The Way...
And Broke That Tape.
And You Looked Good...
Then...
And You Look Good... Now.
Yeah.
And You Were Indescribable Then
And You Are Indescribable Now.
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