Original subtitles

(Whistling)

I'm Not Late!

I'm Not Late!

I'm Late.

(Chuckles)

My First Day Too.

But Fortunately Pam Tucker, Saturday Office Assistant

Prepares In Advance.

Last Night I Went Over The Office Procedures

And Phone System With Mrs. Mckechnie.

Oh, Here Are Your Morning Charts.

And I Typed Up Your Schedule, Dr. Huxtable.

Well, Ms. Tardy, I'm Impressed.

Thank You.

9:00...

Uh-Huh.

We Have Mrs. Friedman.

Yeah.

And Then Mrs. Hodge.

Right.

And Then Mrs. Cortina

And Then Your Last Patient Is Mrs. Minifield.

Mrs. Minifield.

What's Wrong With Her?

Well, Mrs. Minifield Is...

Different.

When You See Her

You'll Know That That's Mrs. Minifield

And The Good News Is

Any Day Now She's Going To Deliver.

Whew.

Yoo-Hoo.

Hello.

What Time Is Mrs. Minifield's Appointment?

11:00.

It's... 8:30.

You're Right On Time.

Uh, We're Not Open Yet.

I Know.

My Husband Dropped Me Off.

Why Would He Do That?

Because I'm Nine Months Pregnant.

I Didn't Want To Walk.

Why Couldn't He Just Drop You Off At 10:45?

Because I'm Already Here.

Oh, Yep. Mm-Hmm.

Ms. Tucker, Why Don't You Take Mrs. Minifield

Out To The Waiting Room?

Yes, Sir, Dr. Huxtable.

And, Mrs. Minifield

Please Don't Give Medical Tips To Any Of My Patients.

Okay. I Promise.

Good. Good.

Rudy, We Have To Get Moving On This Pinata.

The Starch Is Drying Out.

Stanley, This Is A Group Social Studies Project.

Our Group Isn't All Here Yet.

Everybody That Matters Is Here.

Oh, I Forgot.

The Third Wheel.

I Really Hate It When You Call Kenny A Wheel.

He's My Friend.

He's Jealous And He's A Troublemaker.

Why Did You Pick Him For Our Group?

He's My Friend.

Stanley

Be Patient With Him.

You Know He's Had A Hard Time Dealing With Our Relationship.

(Knocking)

Well...

Hello, Hello, Hello.

Sorry About The Delay.

I Was Waiting For Deirdre.

Hello.

Hello. Hi.

Rudy: Oh...

Could I Take Your Coat, Deirdre?

Allow Me, Dee-Dee.

Thanks, Kenny.

What A Nice Kitchen.

Thank You.

Nice Going, Kenny.

You Finally Made It To The Big Leagues.

Well, Stan, I Was Always There.

There Was Just No Need To Broadcast My Personal Life.

Well, Shall We Get Started?

Well, I Guess So.

Did You Bring The Balloons For The Pinata, Kenny?

Got Them Right Here.

I'll Help You Blow Them Up, If You Want.

Dee-Dee Has Good Lungs.

She Plays The Saxophone.

I'm Not That Good.

She's A Whiz At Crafts.

She Went To Art Camp.

Well, In That Case, You Can Stir The Starch.

Okay.

Now, Have We Answered All The Questions?

Yes.

And Everything Seems To Be Just Fine.

Uh, Mrs. Minifield

Are You Adhering To The Diet That I... I Gave You?

Except For The Calcium, Yes.

What Do You Mean?

I'm Eating Lots Of Calcium.

My Husband Doesn't Have Strong Bones

So I'm Tripling My Calcium Intake.

You've Seen Him.

Wouldn't You Agree?

Well, He Doesn't Have A Strong Handshake.

You See?

Yeah, But What Does That

Have To Do With Your Calcium Intake?

Our Baby Has Half My Husband's Genes

And I'm Making Up For What He Lacks

By Eating Lots Of Calcium.

Cheese.

Milk.

It's Called Genetic Compensation.

Did You Read This In A Book?

Nope. I Made It Up.

Ms. Tucker.

Yes, Dr. Huxtable?

Would You Please Confirm The Reservation

For Mrs. Minifield At The Brookridge Hospital?

Right Away, Dr. Huxtable.

We've Gone Over This Procedure Before, Haven't We?

Yes.

Now, When The Contractions Reach Eight Minutes Apart

That's When You Call Me.

Now, What

Did I Just Say?

Call You Every Eight Minutes.

No, That Isn't... That Isn't What I Said.

I Want You To Call Me When The Contractions

Are Consistently Eight Minutes Apart.

I Understand Completely.

I Don't Want You To Call Me At 8:00

Or Eight Times A Day.

"Eight Minutes Apart."

You Can Call Me Anytime If You Have Any Questions--

Pregnancy Questions.

(Intercom Buzzes)

Dr. Huxtable, Your Lab Reports Are Waiting.

Okay.

Thank You.

I Guess I'm Off.

Yes, In More Ways Than One.

Bye-Bye.

(Intercom Buzzes)

Dr. Huxtable, According To Mrs. Mckechnie

After Mrs. Minifield Leaves

You Always Put Your Head On The Desk For Ten Minutes

And Contemplate Why You Went To Med School.

Is That Correct, Dr. Huxtable?

Yes.

First Leg's Ready To Be Attached

To The Spider.

That's Coming Along Beautifully.

It's Only Starch, Kenny.

It's Not The Starch.

It's Who's On The Other End Of The Spoon.

So, Deirdre, How Long Have You Two

Been Seeing Each Other?

I Can Answer That.

Officially Since Wednesday.

Wednesday? You Mean Like Three Days Ago?

Yeah. In Four Days

We'll Have Our First-Week Anniversary.

Well, Congratulations.

Here's To A Long-Lasting Relationship.

Congratulations.

I Didn't Even Know

You Guys Knew Each Other.

Well, Actually, We Didn't

Until That Magic Moment When Kenny Came Up To Me

At My Locker Right After Fourth Period.

That's Right.

Deirdre: It Was Like

Out Of One Of Those Old 1970s Movies.

I Was... I Was Just Standing There

And From Across The Crowded Hall

I Heard A Voice Say, "Hello Over There By The Locker.

Would You Like To Go With Me?"

I Turned Around, And There He Was.

I Looked In His Eyes And I Heard Bells.

Deirdre, The Classes Were Changing.

Well, They Were Ringing In My Heart.

The Truth Is, I've Liked Kenny Since The Beginning Of The Year.

You Have?

Yeah.

I Was So Excited

When He Told Me To Meet Him Here Today.

Then He Asked Me To Write Down

My Hobbies And Interests.

You Made The Girl Fill Out A Profile?

That's Right. I Keep It Next To My Heart.

So, You Met Deirdre

After Fourth Period On Wednesday?

Yeah.

Right After Social Studies Class

When I Picked You To Be The Third...

Wheel.

...Member In Our Group.

Merely Coincidence.

Could I See You In The Living Room?

Sure.

I Won't Be Long, Dee-Dee.

All Right, Kenny, Why Are You Doing This?

Doing What?

Don't Make Me Say This.

Say What?

You're Pretending To Like Deirdre.

Rudy, Could That Be Jealousy I Hear In Your Voice?

How Could I Be Jealous With Stanley?

You Must Ask Yourself That, Rudy.

Well, I'm Not Jealous.

Then You Would Have No Problem With Our Relationship.

We May Have Only Known Each Other Three Days

But Our Souls

Have Known Each Other For Eternity.

Not One Minute Goes By

That I Don't Think Of The Touch Of Her Hand

The Moment Her Lips Touch Mine.

You've Kissed Her?

Well, That's Not Uncommon

In A Relationship As Strong As Ours.

So, You Could Go In There Right Now And Kiss Her?

Well, I...

You Don't Have To.

I Already Have My Answer.

You Shouldn't Make Up Stories.

What Stories?

I've Kissed Her.

Sure, I Have.

I'll Prove It To You.

You Will?

Yeah.

Tell Deirdre To Come In Here.

Okay.

Oh, Kenny, Kenny, Kenny!

Kenny?

Uh, No, This Is

Ten Stigwood Avenue.

14 Is Two Doors Down.

Happens All The Time.

Is Everything Okay, Kenny?

Oh, Yeah.

Why Don't You Sit Down?

Okay.

You See, Dee-Dee

I Have Something Very Personal To Ask You.

Yes?

Can I Borrow Your Lip Gloss?

What?

It's Winter-- Chapped Lips.

I Have Had Enough.

First, You Say You Want To Go With Me.

You Make Me Fill Out A Questionnaire.

For Three Days, I Don't Hear From You.

Then I Meet You Here, And You Brag About Me.

Now You Want To Borrow My Make-Up?

If You Three Think This Is Funny

Then You're Just Really Mean.

Wait. It's Not Them.

It's Me.

I Didn't Mean To Hurt You.

I Guess

I Was Just Using You.

Oh, I Feel Much Better Now.

I Wouldn't Have If I'd Known You Liked Me.

I Could Have Liked You And Wouldn't Have Pretended.

Did You Mean It That You Liked Me?

Yes.

All Right!

But I Don't Anymore.

I'm The Same Guy.

You're Not The Same Guy In The Hallway.

I Liked You, Despite What Everybody Says About You.

What Does Everybody Say?

They Say You're An Odd Duck--

You March To The Beat Of Your Own Drummer.

That's Not So Bad.

Couldn't You Like Someone Who Does That?

I Did... Until Today.

That's Good News.

The Way I Was Acting Today, That's Not Me.

I Was Acting That Way Because Of Rudy.

Why? What Did She Do To You?

She Started Seeing Stanley

And Then Everything Changed.

We Used To Go To The Movies, The Mall, To Get Pizza.

You Don't Go Those Places With Her Anymore?

Oh, I Go.

It's Just That He's Always There.

Oh, How Sad.

I've Got To Go.

Wait. Can I Walk You Home?

You Didn't Walk Me Here.

Because I Was An Idiot.

You Don't Have To Like Me.

I Just Want To Walk You Home.

Okay.

Hello. Excuse Us.

Nice Seeing You.

Can I Get The Door For You, Dee-Dee?

My Name Is Deirdre.

Got It.

I'll Be Walking Deirdre Home.

Stop Staring And Stir The Starch, Stanley.

Excuse Me.

End Of Pam Tucker's First Day On The Job.

How Did I Do?

I Didn't Even Know I Had A Substitute.

Sounds Like A Salary Bump To Me.

If There's Any Salary At All.

Come On, Cousin Cliff, Cough It Up.

All Of A Sudden It's Cousin Cliff.

I'm Off The Clock.

You're Off The Clock.

(Phone Rings)

Almost.

Dr. Huxtable's Office.

Go Ahead.

Yes, One Moment, Please.

It's Mrs. Minifield.

Hi, Mrs. Minifield.

Dr. Huxtable.

Yes?

How Far Apart Should The Contractions Be When I Call?

Eight Minutes Apart.

Oh, Dear.

"Oh, Dear" What, Mrs. Minifield?

How Far Apart Are They, "Oh, Dear"?

You'll Get Mad At Me.

No, I'm Not Going To Get Mad At You, Mrs. Minifield.

How Far Apart Are They?

You're Yelling At Me!

Mrs. Minifield, I'm Not Yelling At You.

How Far Apart Are They?

F-F-F-F.....

F-F-Five?

Four.

Four?!

Mrs. Minifield, I Told You To Call Me

When The Contractions Are Eight Minutes Apart.

I Know, But They Jumped From Ten To Four.

They Jumped?

Last Time I Checked, They Were Ten Minutes.

Now They're Coming Every Four Minutes.

Good, Now, Mrs. Minifield, Listen To Me Carefully.

You Are Not In Danger

But I Want You To Get To The Hospital.

You Need To Get To The Hospital

As Soon As Possible.

Now, Is Your Husband There?

He's Running Errands.

I Can Leave Him A Note.

No, No, Mrs. Minifield.

Mrs. Minifield, Don't Leave A Note.

You've Got To Get To The Hospital.

Is There Someone Who Can Put You In A Cab?

I Think So.

Okay, Now, Mrs. Minifield

Here's What I Want You To Do.

I Want You To Call A Cab And Get Your Overnight Bag.

You Have That, Don't You?

Yes.

Now, You And The Overnight Bag, You Both Get Into The Cab.

You Understand What I'm Saying?

Okay, Get Into The Cab.

You Head For The Hospital.

Take You About 15 Minutes, I Guess.

Maybe My Husband Can Pick You Up

On The Way Back From The Dry Cleaners.

I Will Meet You There

And We Will Go In Together, All Right?

All Right.

Bye-Bye.

This Is So Exciting.

A Baby My First Day.

Do You Want Me To Do Anything?

Should I Boil Some Water?

Yes, You Can Boil Some Water.

Put Tea In It.

Okay, One Cup Of Tea To Go, Dr. Huxtable.

Yes.

Brookridge Hospital?

Dr. Huxtable.

Coming In With A Mrs. Minifield.

Uh, Be Ready For Anything.

Here's Your Tea, Dr. Huxtable!

It's In A Twin's Dribble Cup So It Won't Spill In The Car!

Cliff: Tell Mrs. Huxtable Where I Am!

You're Covered.

(Tires Screeching)

(Crash)

Tell Me That's Not Dr. Huxtable's Car.

Ump, Can't Do That.

Dr. Huxtable, Somebody Hit Your Car!

What?

What?

Somebody Hit Your Car.

You're Kidding.

You Think Because You Got Doctor's License Plates

You Can Park In The Middle Of The Street?

I Wasn't Parked...

You Was...

I Don't Have Time For This.

I've Got An Emergency.

I Have A Lady In My Cab.

She's About To Have A Baby.

How Far Apart Are The Contractions?

She Told Me

Not To Tell You.

Mrs. Minifield, I Told You To Go The Hospital!

But You Were On The Way!

(Minifield Screaming)

See? There's Another One.

According To My Meter

She's Having One Every Three Blocks.

Whoa!

Dad, What's Going On?

I'll Tell You What's Going On.

Your Father Wrecked My Cab

And That Lady's Having A Baby In It.

Rudy: Wow!

Cliff: Pam, Tell Nurse Travis To Bring My Cord Set!

I Need Some Sterile Towels And Gloves!

I'm On It!

Rudy: Should I Call The Ambulance?

Cliff: Number's On The Phone.

She Told Me

She Was An Airport Fare With One Stop.

Gloves And Towels.

Move Aside.

Otherwise, I Wouldn't Have Picked Her Up

In The First Place.

Pam: Move Aside! Move Aside!

Cliff: All Right, Push, Mrs. Minifield.

I Am Pushing!

I Don't Mean With Your Foot On My Forehead.

Pam: Hey, The Meter's Still Running.

Don't You Know It

And As Soon As She Sits Up, We're Going To The Airport.

(Knocking)

Oh, Hi, Kenny.

Hey, Rudy.

Sorry I Acted Like A Jerk Today.

That's Okay.

I Acted Like One Too.

So, What Happened To Deirdre?

I Walked Her Home.

She Said To Call Her.

You Going To Call?

Ooh, Yeah.

Guess You Had To Call Somebody Sometime.

You And I Have Something In Common Again.

I'm Happy For You.

I'm Happy

For Me Too.

I'm Happy For You.

You Won't Tag Along With Me And Stanley Anymore?

Oh, I'll Be Tagging.

I'll Just Have Deirdre With Me.

We'll Double.

Are You Coming Over To Paint The Spider Tomorrow?

Wouldn't Miss It.

Deirdre's A Very Complicated Woman.

I May Need Your Advice On How Women Think.

Why Don't You Ask Your Brother?

I Would, But He Hasn't Been Too Accurate Lately.

Kenny, Your Brother Was Never Accurate.

Yeah, But He Is Like Family.

Well, So Are You.

Thanks.

I'll See You Tomorrow, Rudy.

All Right, Bye...

Bud.