Original subtitles

Okay Andre, If That's The Way You Feel, Fine.

If You Can Handle It All Without Me

I'll Be In The Living Room, On The Couch

Reading The Homeowner's Manual, If You Need Me.

(Loud Hammering)

Why Must You Bother Andre?

I Am Not Bothering Andre, Dear.

The Man Does A Terrific Job

But No Man Is An Island.

(Doorbell Ringing Off-Key)

See-- That Doorbell Was One Of Your Jobs.

Hi, Charmaine, Lance. Good Afternoon.

Mrs. Huxtable.

Dr. Huxtable, I Presume.

Well, The Inseparables.

Have A Sit-Down.

Pam, Company.

Thank You-- In A Minute.

We Don't Mean To Disturb You.

We Can Go Into The Kitchen

Though That Room Is In Disarray.

You Might Not Want To Show Us

The Seamy Side Of Your Life.

That's Very Considerate.

What's Up With You?

Our Counselor Has Been Helping Us

Apply To College.

College, Huh?

That's Right, Dr. Huxtable.

Though I'm A Bit Distraught

Over The Pursuit Of My Educational Goals.

Don't Worry.

You're Going To College.

I'm Committed To Attaining A Degree

And Bringing It Back To My Community.

More People Should Be Like You.

Thank You. I'll Tell Them.

Why Are You Concerned?

I Don't Want To Pay The Application Fee.

Oh, Well, You Don't Want To Pay The Application Fee.

Some Of These Places Charge Up To $50 A Pop.

Hey, I Know, I've Been Popped Four Times.

Look At This Slick Number

From Cason College.

It Looks Like They're Trying To Sell Me A New Car.

What Is A Bikini-Clad Woman

Doing In Front Of The Physics Lab?

With All Due Respect, Isn't That A Scam?

Despite This Display

This Is Still A Very Good School.

Yes, And That Is Still A Very Good Scam.

I Ain't Paying $50 For That.

How Are You Going To Apply?

Post-Date All My Checks.

If They Reject Me, I Just Call The Bank.

Lance's Applications

Will Be Error-Free.

We Are Going To The Same College

Where His Behavior Will Reflect On Me Personally

And I Will Not Have Bounced Checks On My Transcript.

Pam: Charmaine, Come On Up.

Excuse Me.

See You Later, Baby.

Don't Use Outside Words Inside.

(Knocking"Shave And A Haircut")

Wait A Minute.

Just A Second.

Okay. Come In.

Hey.

Don't Get Too Excited.

I've Almost Finished Your New Knock-Out Dress.

Let Me See...

When It's Finished.

I Don't Want Any Buyer's Remorse.

You're My Best Friend.

And Not Just Because

You're Making Me Look Good.

But I Am.

And Speaking Of Looking Good

I Was Down At Our Guidance Counselor's Office.

Mister...

(Panting)

...Bostic?

What Were You Doing-- Planning Your Honeymoon?

We Were Talking About My Future

And You Should Talk About Yours.

Just Mine?

Or His And Mine.

Get Serious Now.

Are You Planning On Going To College?

I'm Going.

Unless, Of Course, Mr. (Panting) Bostic Proposes.

Come On, Pam, This Is Your Future.

You Need Mr. Bostic's Guidance And Advice.

And If I Were You

I'd Wear My New Bowling Shirt.

It's Been Said He's In A League.

All Right.

Don't Do It.

Well, I'm Just Going In To See My Counselor.

All I Have To Do

Is Tell Him The Colleges I Want.

Are You Still Applying To Those Schools?

Hm-Mmm, Same Ones You're Going To.

Penn, Hillman, And Bowling Green?

Those Are The Ones.

Those Are Very Hard Schools To Get Into.

We Always Said We'd Go Through Life Together.

Mr. Bostic Is A Good Counselor.

Maybe He Knows Something I Don't.

And, Pam...

You Got A Little Lipstick.

Miss Tucker, Come On In.

Go Get Him, Girl.

I'll Be Here When You Get Out.

Yes... Okay.

Hi, Mr.... Uh... Bostic.

What Can I Do For You?

Oh, I'm Ready.

I Mean, For College.

You're Interested In College.

I Didn't Know.

I've Been Keeping It Under Wraps

But Now It's Time For The Big Push.

Oh, I See.

I'll Be Attending College

At Penn, Hillman, Or Bowling Green.

Now, Pam, Come On.

Why Did You Really Want To See Me?

I'm Serious.

I Want To Go To Those Schools.

Pam, The Grade Point Average At Those Schools Is 3.7.

Your Grade Average Is 1.9.

It's My Understanding

These Colleges Look At A Bit More

Than Your Grades.

Well, Now, That's True.

They Also Look At S.A.T. Scores.

Yes, S.A.T. Scores.

Now, Standardized Tests-- That's Me.

Pam, You Got A 750 Out Of 1600 When You Took Them Last Spring.

Listen, Pam

When Are We Going To Start Looking At This Realistically?

Mr. Bostic

I Assumed You Were On My Side.

It's Also My Understanding

These Colleges Make Exceptions For Students Who Have Potential

Especially Those Who Come From A Disadvantaged Neighborhood.

I Know All About Your Neighborhood.

I'm A Product Of That Reality, And That's What Held Me Back.

Right Now There Are 14 Students

From Your Neighborhood In College.

Fourteen.

Not One Of Them Got There

On Their Personality.

Single-Parent Families?

Some.

Working Mothers?

Every One.

You Have All The Answers

Don't You?

Look, Pam, I'm Not Trying To Discourage You.

I Mean, You Really Have Grown.

Now That's What I'm Trying To Tell You.

My Grades Have Gone Up.

There's Even An "A" In There.

I Know.

And Some B's.

Look At Those Hard-Working B's.

It Takes More Than One Semester Of Work

To Get Into College.

But I Want To Go.

My Suggestion Is That You Apply At One Of The Local Colleges.

No, I Want To Go Away To College With Charmaine.

Charmaine Worked Hard, And She's Qualified.

Now, If You Do The Same

You Can Apply At Those Schools

In A Couple Of Years.

Is That Your Final Offer?

Pam, This Is Not An Offer.

Look, I'm Not Saying

You're Not Eligible For Those Schools.

But The Probability Of Acceptance Is Remote.

One In 10,000, Maybe.

Oh, One In 10,000, Maybe.

Okay, Just So I Know My Odds.

Well, Thank You, Mr. Bostic.

Listen, If I Can Help You Any Other Way, I'm Here.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I Know.

Hey, How Did It Go?

Fine.

Did You Know Mr. Bostic Is One Of The Ugliest Men

I've Ever Seen In My Life?

What?

Did You Notice The Hair Growing Out Of His Ears

And The Mole On His Neck That Moves When He Talks?

Not Our Mr. Bostic.

I'm Surprised You Didn't Notice

As Studious As You Are.

What About Going To A University?

Oh, He Said I Was Eligible.

One Of The Last Things He Said Was I'm Eligible.

Really?

Yeah, So Let's Fill Out

These College Applications.

Come On. Don't Hold Me Back.

All Right, See You Later, Andre.

Nice Job.

Now...

We Will See.

Uh-Huh...

All Right, Andre.

Mm-Hmm.

Nice Work, Nice...

Whoa.

I...

Hammer Time.

Hey.

Ooh!

I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry.

Did I Do That?

Well, Dear, Look, Things Happen.

Oh, Shoot.

Don't Worry About It, Honey.

This Will Be Just Between You And Me.

No, No, No.

Tell Everybody Pam Did It.

Pam Does Everything Wrong.

Pam, You Didn't Do It.

I Did It.

Don't Patronize Me.

I Got To Fill Out These College Applications

With No Help From My Guidance Counselor.

You Mean Mister...

(Panting)

Yeah, That Geek.

Geek?

Now, Why Is He A Geek All Of A Sudden?

I Don't Want To Go Into This Right Now.

I've Got Penn, Hillman, And Bowling Green On My Back.

University Of Pennsylvania?

Okay.

Are You Another One Who Says I'm Not Qualified For Anything?

No, No, No, I'm...

Listen, When You're Focused

You Can Do Whatever You Want To Do.

Yeah, I Can Go Into Demolitions Right Now.

Pam, You Didn't Do This.

You Didn't Do It, Okay?

Okay.

All Right.

Got To Get Back To These College Applications.

You People Tell Me, "Go To College."

Now I Want To Go To College And You People Won't Let Me In.

I Wish You People

Would Make Up Your Mind.

Mind Your Own Business.

Ooooh!

There's No "Ooh."

See, You Come Down Here

And Right Away, The First Thing You Do Is "Ooh."

You're As Bad As Mrs. Huxtable.

This Is An Air Hole.

Okay? It's An Air Hole.

Come Here. Come Here.

Now, Put Your Hand In There.

Put Your Hand In There.

What Do You Feel?

What Do You Feel?

Nothing.

That's Right. Air.

Put Your Hand Out.

What Do You Feel?

Air.

Shoot.

(Knocking)

Come In.

Hi, I'm Practicing For Show And Tell.

Would You Like To Watch?

Oh, Sorry, I'm Busy Right Now.

Oh, But This Is My First Show And Tell In The Whole World.

I Don't Want To Bomb.

Okay, Okay, But Just A Little Bit.

Okay.

Places, Everyone, Places.

Hello, Everyone.

This Is A Real Genuine Oyster

Which Denise And My Dad Sent From Hong Kong.

Say Hello, Mr. Oyster.

(Nasal Voice:) Hello.

Now, When Mr. Oyster Here Eats A Grain Of Sand

It Sits In His Tummy And He Has Indigestion

And Then He Makes A Pearl

But If You Get A Lot Of Oysters With Indigestion

You Can Make A Whole Necklace.

Isn't That Wonderful?

Mm-Hmm.

(Sobbing)

I'm Sorry. He Won't Die.

It's Just A Tummy Ache.

It's Not Mr. Oyster, Olivia.

It's Ms. Pam.

Do You Have A Tummy Ache Too?

No, No, No, You Don't Understand.

See, I Was Just Minding My Own Business

For Three Years Of High School.

Now, Come Senior Year, My Best Friend Is Leaving Me.

Oh...

I'm Sorry.

Me Too. I Didn't Know.

I Didn't Know Either.

And Now I Can't Make It Up.

All Those Times I Could Have Studied.

I Could Have Done Better In Those Classes.

Now She's Going Away To Some Big University

And Leaving Me All Alone.

No, You Won't Be All Alone.

We'll Be Together.

We'll Do Our Homework Together.

We'll Go To College Together.

Oh, Olivia, You So Sweet.

You Are Too.

I Need To Be Alone For A While, Okay?

Okay, Buddy.

Pam?

Yes?

Now That We're Best Friends...

I Was Thinking

That We Could Move Rudy In With The Twins

And I Can Move In With You, Buddy.

Let's Think On It.

Okay, Buddy.

(Whimpering)

If You Need Me, Buddy, You Know Where I Am.

Thanks A Lot, Andre.

You Did A Wonderful Job

And I'll Keep Those Children Away From That Wall.

Uh-Oh.

Bad Day At The Office?

You Had Show And Tell Today.

What Happened With The Oyster?

I Was The Last One To Get Up And Show My Talking Oyster

And Just When I Was About To Make It Talk

There Was A Fire Drill.

Then Everyone Started To Marching Out.

Then The Teacher Said

(Deep Voice:)"Olivia, Get Your Clam And Let's Go."

So You Didn't Get To Do It?

Would You Do Your Show And Tell For Us?

I Don't Think She Wants To Do That

Because The Oyster's Very Tired And Wants To Sleep.

That's How They Make The Pearls.

When They Turn Over, It Starts To Agitate.

That's When The Pearls Come Up, So It Should Sleep Now.

Oh, No.

It Wants To Talk.

Assemble Everybody In The Living Room

And You Can Do Your Show And Tell For Us.

Okay, But We Had Better Eat Late.

I Have Lots To Cover.

Cliff, You Should Hurry Up And Come Too.

That Oyster's Going To Tell Us Something About A Hole.

When We Get In This Room, You Keep Your Mouth Shut.

Are Those Your College Applications In The Trash?

Did I Miss Something?

Oh, That's History.

I'm Not Ready Yet.

You're Good Enough.

Let's Just Say Our Paths May Cross Someday

But Right Now, I'm Leaving It

Up To My Friend Charmaine To Blaze The Trail.

I Thought This Would Be So Hard For You.

No, Not A Problem, Not A Problem.

I May Not Get Into All Those Schools.

Charmaine, You'll Get In.

Bowling Green I Feel Confident About, And Maybe Hillman.

It Would Be A Gift To Have All Three Under My Belt

Step Back, Make A Luxurious Decision And Hit The Campus.

Ouch!

Oh, I'm Sorry

But You've Got To Stop Jiggling.

Yeah, Okay.

Well, You Know, I Can't Decide Whether To Study

In The Wide Open Spaces Of The Midwest

Or To Keep On The Pulse Of The City

At The University Of Pennsylvania.

Ouch!

Honey, Do You Have Any Dullpins?

Doing The Best I Can.

I Don't Mean To Keep Going On About Myself.

That's Okay.

You're Not The Only One With Pins... I Mean, Plans.

Out With It, Girl.

What Do You Plan On Doing Next Year?

Well, I'm Really Leaning Toward California.

California?

To Be With My Mother.

All The Way Across The Country?

Yeah. Who Knows?

I'll Probably Study Design And Get A Job

In Some Costume Department At A Hollywood Studio.

You Can Introduce Me To Celebrities.

Charmaine, They're Just Like You And Me.

Pam, If You Go To California, When Will We See Each Other?

When Were You Planning On Seeing Me?

I Thought You'd Still Be In New York

And On Weekends I'd Invite You Down To The Dorm.

Ouch!

You'll Lose That Job

If You Treat Stars Like You Treat Me.

I'll Be Professional And Succeed At What I Do Too.

I Never Said You Wouldn't.

You Never Said I Had Anything To Offer.

I Guess I Didn't.

Well, I Guess Next Year

We'll Find Out If I Do.

Pam, I Never Thought

About You Not Succeeding.

I Mean, You Were Always So Much More Talented Than Me

With Your Fashion And Your Singing

Your Creativity, Your Sense Of Humor.

I Mean, It Was Just A Matter Of Which Way You Wanted To Go

And If It Wasn't For You, I'd Be A Social Seaweed Today.

Pitiful Flotsam Bobbing On The East River.

You're My Best Friend.

I Know, And You're Mine.

And I Love You. I Really Do.

I Love You Too.

And We'll Always Be Together.

Yes, We Will.

Even When We're Apart?

Yes, You Know It.

Now, Charmaine, Don't Make Me Cry Again.

Well, I'm Entitled.

You're My Homey.

(Knocking)

Come In. Come In.

What's The Matter?

We're Best Friends.

I Understand.

My Buddies!

Yes.

We're All Buddies.

Yeah.

That's Right.

Friends To The End.