Original subtitles

Okay, I'll Meet You There At 4:00.

Bye.

People...

Dad, Thank God You're Home.

It's An Emergency.

I Need Money.

Ha Ha Ha.

Dad, It's Urgent.

Right.

It's For Clothes.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

Everyone's Going To Be Wearing Baby Doll Dresses

The First Day Of School.

Hoo Hoo Hoo.

Don't Worry About Her.

She Has No Idea How Frivolous She's Being.

I Need A Phone Card.

Do You Think You Could Fix That For Me?

Ha Ha Ha.

Dad, There Are People I Need To Communicate With

From School.

Here's A Quarter.

Call Your Friends Collect.

Ha Ha Ha.

Hey, Dad.

You Don't Live Here.

I Know, But My Roommate

Had Some Friends Staying Over.

Yo, Besides, Dad--

This Will Always Be My Home.

You Don't Distract Me Either.

Oh, Sondra, Don't Be Silly, You Little Chicken Head.

We Are More Than Happy To Co-Sign Your Home Loan.

Yes!

Okay.

All Right, Bye-Bye.

Sondra And Elvin Are On Their Way Over.

One Last Paper For You To Co-Sign.

Wonderful.

Clair, My Loveliest Love Of The Lovelies

If I Asked You About November, What Would You Say?

What Would You Want Me To Say?

Whatever Is In Your Heart.

Okay. You're Wasting My Time.

That's A Cruel, Cruel, Cold-Blooded Stroke

You Made On Me That Time.

But I Am Not Going To Be Distracted.

Now, I Worked Very Hard, My Darling

To Give You The Gift

Of The Giftiest Gifts.

Pull It Out.

Ta-Da!

This Is The Gift Of The Giftiest Giver?

That Is Correct.

Raggedy Blueprints Of Our Home.

How Many Bedrooms Have We?

We Have Four, Right?

There's Ours, There's Olivia And Rudy

And There's Pam And Vanessa.

And Then There's Denise And Martin

And While They're Away In Asia On Martin's Duty Tour

It Has Somehow Become Theo's Summer Cottage.

What Does This Have To Do With November?

I'm Glad You Asked.

See, This Summer I Have Accepted The Fact, My Darling

That We Are Not Getting Any Younger.

Also, That These Children

Are Determined To Stay Here Until We Die.

Will That Be November?

Just The Opposite.

In November, You Are Going To Live, My Love.

Please Turn To Page Two

Downstairs.

A-Ha!

That's Right.

What Is That, What Is That?

Here, I Have Watched You, My Darling, For Years

Walk Around That House

Searching For A Spot

Of Privacy Somewhere In The House

But Those People Put On A Strong Campaign.

No Matter Where You Went There Was Someone...

(Childlike Muttering)

And You Found Nothing.

And I Say To You, My Dear, Right Here

Is "The Clair Hanks Huxtable

Memorial Do-What-You-Want- Anytime-You-Want- To-Do-With-It Room."

And You Don't Have To Be Dead To Enjoy It.

We're Going To Have Our Own Room?

Not We.

You Do With It What You Want.

You Want To Make A Library, You Want To Make An Office

You Want To Make A Den Of Love.

Maybe We Could Do All Three.

Right On, Right On.

This Is Too Much.

My Own Room, A Quiet Room.

Yes.

Mom, I've...

How Many Times Have I Asked You To Knock

Before You Enter This Bedroom?

Why? It's Daytime.

Mom, I Really Need Some Money...

We Could Put An Electrical Beam Across That Room

And Anyone Coming In With A Bad Attitude Or No Money

Wouldn't Be Able To Come In.

Let's Go Look At It.

No, You Can't Look At It.

Not Until November.

Oh, No, Cliff.

November.

Uh-Uh. It's There.

It's There?

If You Believe, It's There.

I Believe It's There.

Dad Doesn't Understand.

I Need Money For Clothes.

I Gave You Money In July And You Bought Them Then.

But Mom...

Rudy!

Ohio!

Pennsylvania.

No, "Ohio" Means "Hello" In Japanese.

That's What Denise And My Dad Said

On The Tape They Sent.

So, Do You Like My New Kimono?

It's Very Lovely, Olivia.

It Needs To Be Ironed.

Can You Iron It, Please?

Uh, Later.

But It Needs

To Be Ironed Now!

I Told You, Later.

Cliff, Do You Believe?

I Do Believe.

Please Iron It.

You're Not Going To Distract Me Either.

Please, Please, Please...

Pull My Pants Off, I Don't Care.

I Like This.

Mom, Dad...

Hey, Hey, Hey... Get Off.

Get Off Of Your Mother's Room.

From Here On Down, Right On

And It Stops Right Here.

I Could Put A Chair And Ottoman There.

Yes.

You Got It.

Yo-Ho.

Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo.

And A Nice Area Rug.

Yes, Please.

This Is Weird.

What Are You Doing?

Your Father Is Building Me A Room.

Another Room?

All Right!

It'll Be Great To Have A Place To Study

Or For Guests.

Or I Can Have A Crash Pad When Denise Gets Back.

Hey, Hey, Has Somebody Snatched Your Brains?

This Is Your Mother's Room.

Your Mother's Room.

Your Mother's!

We Can Soundproof The Room, Dear.

Double-Insulated Soundproofing.

Big, Thick Steel Door Which Shuts

When You Close It

And Little Kids Outside Sounding Like This:

(No Audio)

Hey, Dad.

Here Come The New Homeowners.

Not Yet, Dad-- Tomorrow.

Look At This, Look At This--

Sugarpie, Winnie, Winnie.

And Nelson.

Oh, What's The Matter With Nelson?

Nelson's Mad Because He Just Got A Haircut.

Come On, Elvin, Let's Take These Things

Into The Kitchen.

Nelson, You Going To Stay With Grandpa?

Yes.

You Going To Be A Good Boy?

Yes.

All Right.

He Had To Get A Haircut Sooner Or Later.

I Have New Braids.

Ooh, Yes, You Do And They Are Beautiful.

The Lady Did Them And She Told Me Her Name.

What Is Her Name?

I Don't Know.

I Forgot.

But I Have It Up Here.

Rhonda, Rhonda!

Olivia, Olivia!

Ohio.

Both: New Jersey.

Do You Like My New Kimono?

Yeah! Yeah!

Let's Go Upstairs.

(Children Shouting)

Kids, Keep It Down.

(Shouting)

That's It.

Hey, Dad.

Well, Well, Well.

You're Putting An Extension On.

Yes, Yes.

Great.

Mom's Finally Getting Her Own Room.

Dad, Between Our New Home And Your New Room

You're Really Into The Home Finance Business.

(Laughing)

Well, Dad, If You'll Just Sign

This Last Financial Authorization.

Clair...

Didn't Clair Tell You About This?

We're Not Signing This.

Huh?

We're Not Signing Because

I Have...

Uh-Huh.

I Have An Architect Coming...

No, I'm Serious.

What Is Your... I'm Not Signing....

Uh-Huh.

I Got You, I Got You.

Good One, Dad.

That Was A Good One.

You Got Me.

Your Color... You Lost...

You Got Me, Dad.

Okay, Here We Go.

That Was So Funny.

Please, Dad.

You Have No Idea

It's Only Small Moments In Life That You Have...

A Sign It!

I Can See When You're Getting Serious.

Heathcliff.

Heathcliff-- Two F's Or One?

Okay, Here We Go.

There You Are.

Thank You.

Why Don't You Let Me Show It To The Women

Because They Love Commitment.

Just Let Me...

Congratulations.

Thanks, Dad.

Congratulations.

Good Luck.

Thank You.

That's A Lot Of Responsibilities.

Yes, I Know.

A Lot Of Responsibilities.

Yes, Sir, The Big R.

I Just Signed Your Loan Papers.

Thanks, Dad, Mom.

Congratulations.

I Think Elvin's Beginning To Feel The Pressure.

He's Been That Way For About Three Weeks

But He'll Breathe Easier Once We Close.

Aunt Sondra, Aunt Sondra!

What Is It?

Something's Wrong With Uncle Elvin.

He Doesn't Look Good.

He's Breathing Funny.

There He Is!

Just The Way We Found Him.

Daddy Doesn't Look Good.

Daddy's Okay.

It's Just A Little Buyer's Remorse.

Daddy's Buying A Horse!

Yay!

Wait A Minute.

Downstairs, Downstairs, Downstairs.

Shh.

Olivia: I Want A Pony.

I Want A Pony.

Why Don't You Leave The Two Of Us, Okay?

He'll Be All Right.

What's The Problem, Son?

Responsibility?

No, Dad.

Commitment?

It's Neither Of Those Things, Dad.

It's The Money!

All That Money!

Every Month.

You Make Payment After Payment For Years And They...

You Miss One Time, Just Once

And They Take It All Away!

Are You Planning On Missing A Payment?

No, Of Course Not.

Then You Would Have To Pay For It.

I Don't Think I Could Live With That.

Well, I've Got News For You.

I Don't Think We're Going To Live With It Either.

All Mrs. Huxtable And I Did Was... We Co-Signed.

We Didn't Say...

We Don't Plan To Make Any Payment.

You Miss A Payment And...

(Gasping)

Wait A Minute.

Wait A Minute.

Look, You're A Doctor, Man.

I Mean, You Will Never Be Out Of Work.

What If People Stop Getting Sick?

I Have No Other Skills.

Will You Shut Up!

You're Putting More Pressure On Yourself Than You Have To.

You're A Doctor.

Your Wife Is A Lawyer.

You Got In-Laws That Are Protecting You

And Backing You Up.

Who Else Would You Want To Trade Places With?

No, No, No, No, No.

Now, Get Yourself Together Now.

Okay, Dad.

You're A Homeowner Now.

Yes, Homeowner.

Homeowners Unite!

Together.

Well, Hello, You Two.

Well, Dr. Dirt And Home Equity.

How's Everything Going?

Pretty Overwhelming.

We Took Care Of The Paperwork

Met With The Real Estate Lawyer

And Went Down To The Bank To Close.

All Right.

We're Looking Forward To Moving In.

Even The Van Company Is Ready To Move Us

As The Lease Says.

Clean, No Penalty.

Boom.

We'll Be Moving This Monday.

Into A Motel.

A Motel?

Life's A Funny Thing, You Know?

Actually, It's Kind Of Sad.

The Other Couple Whose House We Were Going To Buy...

We Are Buying.

This Morning At The Closing

She Handed Her Husband Divorce Papers.

It's Kind Of Funny, Isn't It?

We Were Sitting Across From Them

At The Bank...

And She Muttered Something

About Dirty Socks And Infidelity.

All Of A Sudden

She's Lunged These Papers At Him

Screaming, "We're Perpetrating A Lie!"

But The Realtor Said It's A Common Thing.

Although, It's The First Time It's Happened To Us.

So, We'll Need Someplace To Stay

Until They Settle The Divorce Proceedings

Which Could Be... Any Day Now.

Or At The Most A Month... Or Two.

I'll Take The Case.

Pro Bono. No Fees.

Mom, It's Not That Easy.

Okay, Sondra, Elvin

There Is No More Room In This House.

Dad, Ordinarily I Would Agree With Mom

But We Worked It Out On Paper.

We Move Into Denise And Martin's Room

While They're In Asia.

The Twins Can Stay With Us.

Or Rudy Moves In With Pam.

While Vanessa's Away At School.

And The Twins Can Move In With Olivia.

It's A Minimum Of Disruption And Everyone Is Pleased.

We Would Have Stayed With Friends

If They Would Have Had Room For Us.

Or You Know

We Can Stay At That Cheap Motel...

In The City...

With Your Grandchildren.

Muffin, I Think It's Time To Go.

Uh, Mom And Dad

Might We Take A Cup Of Coffee With Us

That Elvin And I Can Share In The Motel Room?

Perhaps, We Could Have A Glass Of Water

Or Liquids For The Children?

And Might We Take That Box Of Uneaten Crackers

For Your Grandchildren?

That's A Good Idea.

We'll Eat It In The Car On The Way To The Motel.

Right, On The Way To The Motel.

Yes, Maybe We'll Save It For The Motel

And Eat It With The Children.

What Are You Doing?!

It's No Sense, Dear.

These People Are Serious.

These People Are Not Playing Fair At All

And We Might As Well Just Not Build That Room.

Just Let Them Have The House.

They Want It.

Let Them Have It.

Now You Listen To Me.

No, You Listen To Me.

These People Are Serious And They Play Hardball.

Anybody Who Stoops Low Enough To Use Their Children--

Our Grandchildren--

(Imitating Sondra:) "Sleeping In The Motel..."

And They Left Out The Rats And The Snakes

And All Of Those Things.

I'm Telling You, Dear, Let Them Have It.

They Will Never Ever Get

The Clair Hanks Huxtable Memorial!

We Will Clear The Land.

We Will Fell The Trees.

We Will...

Bye, Grandpa.

Bye, Grandma.

Pay No Attention To Them.

No, They're Playing Hardball.

Listen To Me.

We Are Going To Make This Happen.

(Sniffling)

Well, The Twins Are Asleep.

Sandra And Elvin Are All Tucked In

And I Am Confused To Announce That With All That

We Still Have Our Own Bedroom.

Cliff, We Only Have A Few Days Left On This Planet.

And The Pitiful Thing About It

Is That We're Going To Have To Spend It With Them.

Not As Visitors In Our Own Home.

Oh, No?

No, I'm Won't Let Them Do That To Me.

How Are You Going To Stop It?

I'll Give Them Plenty To Shoot Down.

You Kidding Me?

No, I'm Not.

We Were Talking About Expanding This House.

I Say Let's Go For It And Extend This Kitchen.

You Mean The Way I Always Wanted To?

Can I Have A Window Box To Grow The Herbs In?

And A Corner Cabinet With A Lazy Susan?

You Can Spin All Night.

Where Is The Kitchen?

Oh, The Kitchen, Dear, I Explained To You Before--

It's Next To The Den Of Love.

Now...

I Wore My Orange So You Could Find Me.