Original subtitles

(Knocking)

Come In.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, Honey.

I Brought You Your Mail.

Oh, Okay.

Well, Thank You.

Why?

Just Thought I'd Bring It Down.

Why?

Can't A Person Do Something Nice For Her Father?

You Have The New England Journal Of Medicine.

Yes.

I Guess A Doctor Has To Know The Latest Developments.

Yes.

The World Is Changing

And People Have To Change With It.

Oh, Yes, They Do.

My Point Is...

Right!

Your Point.

What Is Your Point?

Women Mature Faster These Days Than They Used To.

So What?

I Know Sondra, Denise, And Vanessa Couldn't Date

Until They Were 13.

But I'm 12 And A Half...

And A Half.

And A Half.

You Didn't Make The Whole.

This Boy At School Asked Me To Go To The Movies With Him

And I Think

I Should Be Allowed To Go.

Technically, It's Not Even A Date.

Six People Are Going.

Three Girls, And There Happen To Be Three Boys.

We're Going As A Group.

This Is A Group Date?

No, It's A Group Outing.

Does This Mean You All Are Never Going To Go Indoors Anywhere?

It's A Group Outing To The Movies.

Okay.

Okay?

But My Okay, What Does That Weigh?

You Have To Talk To Deputy Dog.

Hey.

Hey.

What Is This For?

I Just Finished Making

An Hors D'oeuvres Platter For Your Guests.

Where's The Dip?

Mom Said, "No Dip."

Your Mother Had You Make Raw Celery, Carrots

And There's No Dip?

See The Crease Right Here?

That's Where The Stuff Is Supposed To Go--

In Here.

All This Is Is Like An Edible Spoon.

Dad, I'm With You

But That's What Mom Said They Wanted.

I'm Not Against You...

Mom, What Is That?

It Looks Like A Hairy Frisbee.

This Is How Mrs. Temple And I Wore Our Hair In High School.

This Is A Friend Of Your Mother's

And Whenever They Get Together

Both Of Them Have These Things That They Put On

And It Gives Them A Reason To Act Silly.

Rudy, Don't Play With This Food.

Honey, Please.

It's Awful Thin. Who Sliced It?

The Man At The Fish Store.

Looks Like He Almost Missed It.

What Are We Having, Dear?

We're Having Steamed Filet Of Sole.

What's Going On The Fish?

Lemon Juice.

Lemon Juice On The Fish

And Nothing On These Raw Vegetables.

I Think That You Need To Take That Fish

Cook Me A Porterhouse Steak--

Now Wait!

Hear Me Out.

Take The Porterhouse

Slice It

And Then Wrap My Fish Around The Porterhouse.

The Fish Will Fight The Steak

And Then I Won't Have Any Cholesterol High

Or Triglycerides, Okay?

(Doorbell Ringing)

They're Here.

How Do I Look?

You Look Fine.

You Going To Put That On?

Come On.

Don't Wear That Near Me.

Where Can I Hide This?

Put It Up Your...

Right.

Hello.

Hello, Clair.

How Are You?

I'm Fine.

This Is My Husband, Herb.

This Is My Husband, Cliff.

How Do You Do? How Do You Do?

Let Me Take Your Coats.

How Are You?

I'm Fine.

You Look Wonderful.

Thank You.

Yeah...

Aaah! Aaah!

Hit It!

♪ One Two Three ♪

Ha!

♪ Look At Mr. Lee ♪

♪ Three Four Five ♪

Ha!

♪ Look At Him Jive ♪

♪ Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee, Ho! ♪

♪ Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee, Ho! ♪

♪ Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee, Ho! ♪

♪ Wa Wa Wa Wa ♪

♪ I Met My Sweetie ♪

♪ Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee ♪

♪ His Name Is Mr. Lee ♪

♪ I Met My Sweetie ♪

♪ His Name Is Mr. Lee ♪

♪ He's The Handsomest Sweetie ♪

♪ That You Ever Did See ♪

♪ My Heart Is Aching ♪

♪ Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee ♪

♪ For You, Mr. Lee ♪

♪ My Heart Is Aching ♪

♪ Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee ♪

♪ For You, Mr. Lee ♪

♪ 'Cause I Love You So ♪

♪ And I'll Never Let You Go ♪

♪ Ow! Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee ♪

♪ Oh! Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee ♪

♪ Oh! Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee ♪

♪ Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa! ♪

Whoa!

Oh, Clair, Honey

We Have Not Lost It, Girl.

I Feel Like I'm About To Lose It Now.

We Had More Breath In Those Days.

Clair: You Look Great.

You Haven't Aged A Day.

Why Should I?

Don't You Go Away And Stay That Long Again.

Oh, I Promise.

Herb?

Cliff?

I've Never Met You, But I Missed You.

I Missed You, Cliff.

But I Really, Really Missed You.

I Missed You More.

Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee. Mr. Lee, Mr. Lee.

Hello?

Oh, Hi, Danielle.

What?

Maybe It's Just A 24-Hour Bug.

Susan Is Sick Too?

Well, I Don't Care If We Catch What You Got.

At Least We'll Get To Go On Our First Dates.

Yeah, I Know.

I Guess I Can't Go Either.

Yeah, Bye.

Since When Has Dad Let You Date?

It Wasn't Really A Date.

It Was Just A Group Outing

But I Lost My Group.

Oh, I'm Sorry.

Vanessa...

You Have A Date Tomorrow Night, Don't You?

Yeah.

Want To Double?

Rudy, I Would Not Be Caught Dead On A Date With My Little Sister.

One Of These Days

You'll Ask Me For A Big Favor.

I Know, And You Won't Do It.

Wrong!

I Will Do It.

And You'll Spend The Rest Of Your Life

Feeling Guilty

Because You'll Know I'm A Thoughtful

Wonderful Person

And All You Are Is A Big, Rotten Meanie!

The Fish Was Great, Really.

Thank You Very Much.

Why Don't You Stop Lying?

You Two Are Too Much.

You Need To Behave Yourself.

He's Been Like This Since The Beginning.

The Only Thing That Makes Me Behave

Is The Love I Have For Her.

When People Ask Me

"Why Is It That You Love Your Wife So Much?"

I Say, "Because When We First Met

The Woman Came Up And Asked Me Out."

Stop Right There.

I Never Asked You Out.

You Asked Me Out.

Oh, Dear, Dear.

Stop It.

Not In Front Of Company.

You Asked Me Out And We Went To Willow Grove Park.

Yes, That Part Is True.

I Took You To Willow Grove Park.

That's When I Won The Giant...

They Had A Bear.

You Know, You Knock These Bottles Down.

I Went Up, And I Got Three Balls And Only Used Two Of Them

And The Man Gave Me This Big, Six-Foot Bear

And I Gave It To Clair.

I Remember That, But It Wasn't A Six-Foot Bear.

It Was A Six-Inch Duck.

I Remember The First Time I Saw Kris.

It Was In A Nightclub In Paris.

She Was Sitting By Herself, See...

Excuse Me, Excuse Me, I Was Not Alone.

Believe Me, She Was Sitting By Herself.

So I Swooped And Got Up To Dance

And We Did The Electric Slide.

You Remember?

Excuse Me, Honey.

You Were Not Doing The Electric Slide.

You Were Doing The Stroll.

In Fact, Every Dance He Does Is The Stroll.

I'm Going To Say Something To You, Herb

Because You Happen To Be Sitting In The Home

Of The Gentleman Who Created The Stroll.

No.

Woody "Wood" Johnson Lived Outside Of The Projects.

He Lived In A One-Family Home

Which Had Been Transformed Into A 14-Family Home.

But So Many People Lived There, They Had Worn The Steps

So The Steps Were Hanging Like This

So You Had To Stay Close To The Wall.

So In Order To Keep From Falling, You Had To...

There You Go.

Kris: Get Out Of Here!

And Some Winos In The Hallway Saw That

And They Said, "Stroll On."

Woody Crammed People In That Basement Like Sardines.

Yes, He Did.

Oh, It Was So Hot And Sticky

And Cliff, In The Middle Of July

Trying To Look Cool In A Tweed Suit.

Had To Be Cool To Wear A Tweed Suit.

There You Were In That Basement

Just Sweating Your Little Heart Out

Pouring All That Moisture Upon My Face

Making My Bangs Go Back.

Ooh, Girl! I Know About Those Bangs.

You Had To Pull Out

That Dixie Peach And Royal Crown.

Besides From All That, There's Love.

Indeed.

27 Years.

God Bless Them.

Yes, Indeed.

What Was That Song?

That Song That Used To Play

In The Basement With That Red Light On.

♪ My Prayer Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh ♪

♪ Is The Answer You Give ♪

♪ Doo Doo Doo ♪

♪ At The End Of The Day ♪

♪ Ching Ching Ching-A Ching ♪

♪ With A Dream So Divine ♪

♪ Wah Wah Wah Wah Woop ♪

♪ My Pr-Prayer ♪

♪ Is A Rapture In Blue ♪

♪ Blu Ooh Ooh Ooh ♪

♪ With The World Far Away ♪

♪ And Your Lips Close To Mine... ♪

Well, Good Night, You All.

Now Here's Noreen Anderson.

She Had The Cutest Figure In The Class.

I Thought I Had It.

Yeah, Well, You Keep That Memory, Girl.

Rudy, What Is This?

If You Wear That Face, You Won't Enjoy Your Date.

The Date's Off.

Susan And Danielle Are Sick.

My First Date And I'm Going To Spend It At Home,

I'm Sorry.

Oh, Well.

(Kris And Clair Laughing)

(Shrieks Of Laughter)

Not Yet.

You Said To Me, You Said

That You Were A Fancier Of Coffee.

I'd Love A Cup Of Coffee.

No, You Don't Want A Cup Of Coffee.

On This Side Of The Pie, You Want Coffee...

Ice Cream.

(Kris And Clair Laughing)

Coffee Ice Cream.

Not Yet.

Are You Glad You're Not 12?

Very.

Although, I Wouldn't Mind Doing 16 Or 17 Again.

No, 16 Is When You Broke Up With Spider Thompson.

No, See, I Remember.

All You Ever Wanted To Do

Was Marry Spider Thompson And Have Little Spider Babies.

I Beg Your Pardon?

You Have Me Confused With Someone Else.

I Doesn't Think So.

If Memory Serves Me Correctly

One Day You Said, "My Life Is Over.

"Spider Doesn't Love Me Any More.

He Won't Let Me Wear His Sweater."

(Laughing)

We're Going To Put This On This Side

This Over Here

Then We Take These Cookies

And We Crush Them All Over The Top Because That Is...

Fiber.

♪ Do You Remember ♪

♪ The Names We Had For Each Other? ♪

♪ I Was Your Pretty ♪

♪ You Were My Baby ♪

♪ How Could We Say Good-Bye? ♪

♪ Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby ♪

♪ Although I Can't Call You My Baby ♪

♪ Seems Like Years Ago We Met ♪

♪ On A Day I Can't Forget ♪

♪ 'Cause That's When We Fell In Love ♪

♪ Wee Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo. ♪

Yes, Kris, I Enjoyed It Too.

And Herb Is Really Lovely.

We'll Have To Do That Again.

Oh, Tonight?

Tonight Cliff And I Are Going On A Double Date.

With Rudy.

Yes, It's Going To Be Fun.

Talk To You Later.

Hey! Are You Guys Ready?

We're Ready.

Dad, Please, Please Don't Embarrass Me.

You Embarrassed Sondra, Denise

Vanessa, And Now Pam.

Please, Behave Yourself.

Okay.

Mom, Make Sure Dad Behaves.

Please, Okay?

How Do I Look?

You Look Great.

(Doorbell Ringing)

Dad, He's Here, Okay?

Please.

Hi, Scott.

Hi, Rudy.

Um, Mom, Dad...

This Is Scott Williams.

Hello, Mrs. And Mr....

Hello, Doc... Doctor...

Hello, Mr....

Dad! See What You Did!

Scott!

Hello, Scott.

Hello, Mrs. Huxtable.

How Are You?

Come, Rudy, Let's Get Our Jackets.

You Going To Drive, Or Should I?

You Coming With Us?

I Brought These For You, Rudy.

I Won't Have A Problem With This One.