Original subtitles

You Make Fun Of What I'm Talking About

But That's The Way It Will Work.

The Smartest Thing You Ever Did

Was Asking Me To Be Your Partner.

You're Looking At Yourself When You Say That

Because You Will Be Riding The Back

Of The Man Who Will Take You To The Championship

Of The Charity Pinochle Tournament.

Yes, You Do Look Like A Beast Of Burden.

I Hope You Don't Play Pinochle

Like A Donkey.

Dr. Harmon, I Play Pinochle Like A Shark.

What I Want To See Is Less Talk

And More Card Playing.

So Do I.

I'm Tired Of Thompson And Phelps

Winning The Tournament Year After Year.

That's Why I Asked You To Be My Partner.

I Have Nothing Against Clair, But She Doesn't Play To Win.

Nicole Is The Same Way.

She Plays For Fun.

We Have To Be Ruthless--

Have No Mercy.

We'll Polish Off Thompson And Phelps

Like A Couple Of Hors D'oeuvres.

Let's Talk About Our Signals.

Now You're Talking, Now You're Talking, Partner.

Okay, When I Have A Strong Hand

I'll Say Something Like

"Mrs. Jackson's Hip Is Mending Beautifully."

You Going To Say It Like That?

Yeah.

Can The People Playing Against Us See?

Because If You're Going To Sit There And Say

"Mrs. Jackson's Hip Is Mending Beautifully..."

Okay.

Give Me An Example Of One Of Your Signals.

Go Ahead.

Check This Out.

You Know, The Pump Flows Freely

And Makes The River Run Wild.

Listen To What I'm Saying.

The Pump... Hearts.

Flow Or Run.

Flow, Run.

Freely.

The River Wild.

That Means You Play Your Trump First.

Huxtable, This Is Pinochle, Not The C.I.A.

Let's Play Out This Hand, All Right?

Is Your Wife Upset

Because You're Not Playing With Her?

No, And Clair Shouldn't Be Either.

You're Not That Good Anyway.

Gentlemen.

How You Feeling?

Fine.

Dear, You're Not Upset With Me Because You're Not Playing

With Me In This Tournament?

Any Woman In Her Right Mind Would Be Disappointed.

Not To Be Able To Play With A Pinochle Expert?

You're Laughing, See

But Inside, That Woman Is Torn Up.

What Are You Laughing At?

I'm Laughing At Cliff.

He's So Silly.

He Thinks I'm Upset Because I'm Not Playing With Him.

Same Thing With James, The Pinochle King.

Clair, I'd Rather Play With You Than Him Any Day.

I'd Rather Play With You Too.

You're Not So Competitive.

All I Ever Hear

Is "Why Did You Play That Card?"

"What Kind Of Bid Was That Anyway?"

And I Know You've Heard This One:

"Whose Side Are You On, Anyway?

Oh...

Suppose We Did Wind Up Playing Them?

That Would Be Fine With Me.

I Can Read James Like A Book.

When James Has A Bad Hand, He Starts To Smooth His Beard.

And When He Has A Good Hand

He Starts Rocking From Side To Side.

When Cliff Has A Bad Hand, He Sits Very Still

And His Face Gets Very Long.

When He Has A Good Hand, His Head Starts...

See, That's Why You All Don't Win Nothing.

Hey, Mom, All Ready For The Pinochle Tournament?

Uh-Huh.

You And Nicole Have Your Strategies

All Worked Out?

Getting Worried?

No, No.

Oh, Martin.

Running Late, Aren't You?

Yes, I Am.

We Have Got A Serious Baby-Sitting Problem.

Sondra And Elvin Can't Watch Olivia

Because The Twins Have The Chicken Pox.

Oh, Yes, I Heard About That.

I've Been Through The Baby-Sitting List.

No Luck.

I'm Desperate.

I Know Someone Who's Available...

Someone Who Is Very Responsible.

A Baby-Sitter Extraordinaire.

You Wouldn't Be Talking About Rudy Huxtable?

Thank You For Volunteering

But I Don't Think You're Ready For This Responsibility.

Wasn't Denise 12 When She First Baby-Sat Me?

How Am I Supposed To Remember How Old Denise Was?

We Can't Even Remember How Old She Is Now.

Come On, Martin, Please?

Please?

I Guess I'm In No Position To Argue.

Okay, Rudy, You Got It.

You Are Making One Good Deal.

You Are Going To Be Amazed

At My Baby-Sitting Talents.

I Assume This Is A Paying Job.

Yes, It Is.

How Much Do You Want?

Five Dollars.

You Got It.

I Meant Seven.

Seven?

This Is Awful Short Notice.

Let Me Take This Deal Now Before The Price Goes Up.

There You Go.

This Is Only Five Dollars.

You'll Get The Rest

When I Know She Is Still Alive.

Good-Bye.

It's Nice To See One Of My Children

Bringing Some Money Into The House.

Guess What, Olivia?

I'm Going To Be Baby-Sitting You Tonight.

Great! We're Going To Have Fun Together.

If You Pay Attention To Your Sitter.

Rudy, I've Left The Number Where We'll Be On The Fridge.

And Do Me A Favor?

Leave This House In The Same Condition

As When We Left It.

Dad, Please, I'm 12 Years Old.

Now Remember, Olivia's Bedtime Is At...

8:00. 8:00.

And Don't Forget To...

Both: Lock Up After Us.

Mom, I Got It Covered.

What Time Can I Expect You?

Your Mother Will Be Back Early

But I'll Still Be In The Tournament.

I Will Not Dignify That Remark.

Tonight My Cards Will Do The Talking.

I Hope Your Cards Are Worthy Of The Person

Playing With Them.

And I Do Hope You Button Up.

It's Gusty Out There.

All Right, No Problem.

Bye, Sweetheart.

Bye, Olivia.

(Wind Whistling)

And Don't Forget...

Lock Up After You.

Time For The Tv And Ice Cream.

Whoa, Hold On.

You Already Had Ice Cream.

Now Go Upstairs, Brush Your Teeth

And Get Into Your Pajamas.

You Sound Like A Real Sitter.

Thank You Very Much.

When You're Done

Maybe You Could Watch A Little Tv.

Oh, Man.

Olivia, What Are You Doing Up?

I Can't Go To Sleep.

Is It Okay If I Watch Tv With You?

I Already Let You Watch Tv.

Now Go Upstairs To Bed.

Just Ten More Minutes, Please?

I'm Sure I'll Fall Right To Sleep.

I Can Feel My Eyes Closing Right Now.

This Is A Scary Movie.

You Will Have Nightmares.

I Like Scary Movies.

Ten More Minutes, Please?

All Right, Ten More Minutes.

And Not Because Of That Pitiful Look Either.

I Know Those Looks.

I Was An Expert At Them.

Wow, That Street Is Really Dark.

Uh-Oh.

He Stopped Walking.

Rudy, What's Happening To That Man's Face?

He's A Vampire Most Nights

But Tonight, Because There's A Full Moon Out

He's A Vampire Anda Werewolf.

(Howling)

Olivia, It's Just A Movie.

I Know, I Know, I Know, I Know.

(Man On Tv Screaming)

Olivia, Please Go To Bed.

I Can't Go To Bed By Myself.

The Vampire Wolves Are Going To Get Me.

They're Not Going To Get You 'Cause They're Not Real.

Yes, They Are.

They're Going To Get Me And Eat Me.

Anyway, They're In London.

(Tv Shuts Off)

Why Did You Do That?

Because It Was Scaring You.

But I Have To See The End.

Why?

To Make Sure

All The Vampire Wolves Are Dead.

Olivia, I'm Not Turning The Television Back On

Until You Go To Bed.

(Gate Squeaking)

What Was That?

It Was Just The Wind Blowing The Back Gate.

I'm Scared.

I Want Daddy And Denise.

They're In Washington.

Are There Vampire Wolves In Washington?

Then I Want To Go There!

Olivia, Please Stop Crying.

I Can't.

Please.

I Can't.

If You Stop Crying

I'll Give You Some Ice Cream.

Vanilla?

Yes.

Welcome.

Thank You For Being A Sponsor

In The Tournament.

Come With Me, Nicole.

Cliff, Nicole And I Are Going To Go Freshen Up.

We'll See You Guys Later.

Clair: Good Luck.

Aren't You Wishing Us Luck?

You Need Skill, Dear.

I Would Wish You Skill

But Then I Would Still Be Wishing, Wouldn't I?

Why Do I Ask?

Look Over There.

Oh, Look At This.

Wow!

Six Months At My House, Six Months At Your House.

Partner.

Deal.

Look At The Little Poochie, Poochie.

They Even Have A Trophy For The Second-Place Winner.

Doesn't Even Say "Pinochle."

It's Too Small.

Ladies And Gentlemen

The Champions Of The Last Three Years--

Carolyn Thompson And Alfred Phelps.

Carolyn, Carolyn, Look At That.

Now This Trophy Is Beautiful.

This One Is A Lot Larger

Than The One We Won Last Year.

I'll Have To Raise A Bookshelf To Fit It In.

And As Always

Six Months On My Shelf, Six Months On Yours.

You Got It, Partner.

Dr. Huxtable.

Dr. Harmon.

Are You Ready To Go To Sleep?

No, I'm Still Scared.

It Is Just A Movie.

(Wind Blowing)

What Was That?

It Was Just The Wind.

Close The Window.

The Vampire Wolves Are Going To Get Us.

Olivia, I Have To Put You To Bed Now.

(Scraping On Roof)

They're On The Roof!

That Was Probably Just The Branch.

I'll Stay With You So You Won't Be Frightened.

Are You Scared Too?

Of Course Not.

(Trash Cans Clanking)

(Both Screaming)

Rudy, I Thought You Weren't Scared.

I'm Not.

I Just Had To Make Sure You Were All Right.

You Are My Responsibility.

Are You Okay?

No, I'm Scared

That The Vampire Wolves Will Get Me.

For The Last Time, There Are No Vampire Wolves.

(Windows Rattle)

And They're Going To Get You Too.

Listen, Phelps And Thompson

Take It Easy.

These Are Our Wives.

If You Beat Them Up Too Much

You'll Have To Answer To Us.

Thank You.

Thank You.

Thank You.

Clair: Thank You.

Nicole: That's Game.

It's Been A Pleasure.

Mrs. Huxtable.

Mrs. Harmon.

You Beat...

You Beat Phelps And Thompson?

Uh-Huh. Uh-Huh.

(Door Jiggling)

Ahh!

Olivia, It's Me, Rudy.

Open Up.

How Do I Know It's You?

Who Does It Sound Like?

How Do I Know They Didn't Turn You Into A Vampire Wolf

And You're Trying To Fool Me?

If You Don't Open This Door

You Are GoingTo Stay In ThereAlone.

Did You See Anything?

No, But I Turned On All The Lights

And Set Booby Traps On Both Stairways.

The Pump...

Flows Strongly And Runs Wild.

The Knicks Are A Good Club.

But The Pump Flows And Runs... Strong

And You Will Look

Wild I Said 36.

Pow.

I Want To Send Some Flowers.

You Know What She Really Wants?

What?

Janet Jackson's Autograph.

Isn't That Sweet.

Do You Have Any Points, Dear?

We Have Two.

That Means We Have 23.

I Went For My Second Set Of X-Rays Yesterday

And You Know What My Chiropractor Told Me?

Don't Slouch, Dear.

That's Bad For Your Back.

Told Me That I Had

Straightened Up Considerably And Have More Space In My Neck.

I Go Tomorrow For My First Set Of X-Rays.

I Can't Wait To Hear What He's Got To Tell Me.

Play, Cliff.

Game.

We Win.

We Win.

All Right!

All Right!

Don't Start With Me, Huxtable.

Let's Have One More Picture With The Winners And Their Husbands.

The Winners And Their Husbands.

Sweetheart, What Do You Think?

Isn't Our Trophy Nice?

Yes.

Where's Your Trophy, Honey?

Is That It?

Cliff, You Know You Have To Hold Your Trophy.

Here, Hold It.

Go Stand Next To Dr. Harmon

And You Can Hold That Trophy Together

And We'll Hold Ours.

Yes, James.

Say "Cheese."

That Was Certainly An Enjoyable Evening.

Yes.

Who Would Have Thought

That We Would Win Such A Nice Trophy?

Well, Dear, Since We're Married

I Feel That Half Of That Trophy Belongs To Me Too.

The Reality Is, Sweetheart

What's Ours Is Ours

And What's Yours Is In Your Pocket.

You Know, You're A Nasty Little Woman.

Just Pure Nasty.

Oh, My Goodness.

What Is This?

Ah, Look At This.

For Heaven's Sakes.

All The Lights Are On.

And The Tv Is Going "Pfffph!"

I Know Exactly What Happened.

What Happened?

Vampires Werewolves Of London.

I Told Her About Watching Those Horror Movies.

And Got Scared Too.

Look At This.

Why Did They Have To Tear The House Up?

Because They're Scared, Dear.

Garlic All Over The Bed.

Yes, And They Got A Little Cross

Made Out Of A Spoon And A Fork.

Cliff, Why Is Olivia Holding That Piece Of Meat?

Don't You Understand, Dear?

That's The Steak

To Drive Through The Vampire's Heart.

I'll Get Rudy.

And I've Got Little Igor Here.

We Should Bite One Of Them On The Neck.