Original subtitles

Aha!

Aha.

(Giggling)

Those Grapes.

Give Me Those Grapes.

I Want The Grapes.

(Screaming)

Fun Is Fun, Denise, But I Want Those Grapes.

Forget It.

I'll Feed Them To You.

Okay.

Okay.

Open Your Mouth. Open Your Mouth.

Close Your Eyes.

Ping.

(Growling)

My Woman.

Oh, Martin.

Isn't This Wonderful?

Yes.

Just You And Me.

Don't You Love It?

Yes, And I Love You.

I Love Your Parents For Taking Everybody Out.

Yes.

Finally, We're Home.

Oh, Man, I Thought We'd Never See Brooklyn Again.

But You Know, No Matter How Nice A Trip You Had

It's Always Good To Be Home.

You Don't Have To Talk To Me.

I Don't Have To Talk To You.

That's The Way I Prefer It, All Right?

If A Person Was Driving A Car

And The Gas Gauge Needle Moved To "E"

And The Little Light Came On

That Would Be A Clear Indication To Some Thinking Individual

That Perhaps The Gas Tank Is On Empty.

First I Have To Hear About This In The Car.

Now I'm Going To Hear About It In The House.

And I Told You That I Know When The Light Goes On "E"

That I Have Another 15 Miles.

We Only Went 12 Miles.

The Car Owes Me Another Three Miles.

Face It Dad, It Was Empty.

It Sputtered, It Died And You Killed It.

The Car Would Have Made It If It Wasn't For You All.

Us?

Yes.

I Told You Not To Take All That Luggage.

And Then You Bought All Those Souvenirs

And Every Time You All Went Into A Restaurant

You Ate 12,000 Pieces Of Food

And Made The Car Too Heavy.

You're Lucky It Wasn't An Airplane

Because When It's In Trouble

They Will Jettison Everything Off The Plane

That Isn't Absolutely Necessary.

I Love You All.

I Let You Stay In The Car.

So You're Saying You Saved Our Lives?

Yes, Because I Love My Family, And I'm A Wonderful Person.

You're Also Very Silly.

And You All Are Not Very Nice To Me

After I Brought You To Safety.

I Bet You Any Amount Of Money

I Can Drive 15 Miles If You Are Not With Me.

Hello, Martin, Denise.

How Was Your Weekend?

They're Back, Martin. It's Over.

Tell The Truth.

You Guys Had A Good Time.

All Right, We Wouldn't Be Crushed

If You Went Back To Mystic Seaport

For Another Night.

I Wouldn't Drive Them From Here To The Mailbox.

Oh, Please, You Probably Don't Have Enough Gas

To Get There Either.

Did You Run Out Of Gas Again?

Look, I Want To Talk To You About Something.

Martin.

Yes, Sir?

The Early Navigators, My Boy.

I Bought Some Maps Here.

Pull That Out.

Now, Look At How They Charted

And Look At How They Drew The World.

Now, Denise, Check This Out.

You Can See That Before They Took Off

This Is Their Idea Of What The World Looked Like To Them.

Then They Would Get Off The Ship

And See Some Natives Or Something...

You're Not Going To Get Me!

Okay, So I Lied.

Give Me Those Lips.

Rudy: ♪ Da-Da-Da-Dum ♪

♪ Da-Da-Da-Dum ♪

♪ Da-Da-Da-Dum! ♪

Rudy!

Scared You, Huh?

Yeah.

It's From The Aquarium.

Get Out Before I Harpoon You.

Relax, Relax, Just A Little Bit Of Shark Humor.

♪ Da-Da-Da-Dum. ♪

Would You Go?!

(Sighing)

Didn't We Have The Best Weekend?

Yes, It Was Great.

Wouldn't You Like It To Be That Way

Every Time You Came Home?

Of Course.

Martin, Let's Get Our Own Apartment.

We Had The Chance To Get Base Housing.

You Got Cold Feet.

That Was A Year Ago.

I'm Ready Now.

Well, I'm All For It.

It Will Be Another Year Before Base Housing Opens Up.

Let's Get An Apartment Here In Brooklyn.

Yahhh!

Rudy!

Get Out!

Okay, Okay, Okay.

Let's Get The Classifieds.

Rudy: Yahhh!

(Denise Screaming)

Martin And Denise: Rudy!

(Ring)

Huxtable Residence.

Yes, Yes, Yes.

The Lady We Called About That Apartment.

What Does "Unique Two-Bedroom" Mean?

What?

The Other Bedroom

Is Across The Street?

Okay, Thank You.

What?

What Does That Mean?

Look, Denise

I've Got To Go Pick Up Olivia.

Let's Not Get Discouraged.

We Will Find Something Within Our Means.

And Do You Know Why?

Because We're Navy.

I'm Navy, You're Navy.

We Have A Navy Baby.

Like Those Guys In Your Father's Nautical Maps--

We Keep Going Until We Hit Land.

Who Discovered The New World?

Not The Air Force, Not The Army.

It Was The Navy.

The Blue And Gold!

Blue And Gold!

Blue And Gold! Navy!

Blue And Gold!

All Right!

All Right.

Now What Was That About?

We're Looking

For An Apartment.

Honey, You Know That You All Can Stay Here

As Long As You Like.

It's Time.

Martin And I Made Up Our Minds.

It's Just That

The Prices In These Papers Are Crazy.

You Want Me To Get You Another Paper?

Martin And I Want To Get Out Of Here.

We're Trapped.

We're Prisoners Here Until I Don't Know When.

No, Wait, Wait!

Look, It's Not Just In The Papers, Honey.

There Are Other Ways To Find Apartments.

What Do You Mean?

For Instance, I Know Of A Man Who Found An Apartment

Rent Control

Eight-Bedroom Apartment For $75 A Month, Yes.

Are You Being For Real?

You've Got To Talk To People.

Talk To The Pizza Boy

Whose Father Works In The Boiler Room

And Knows A Guy Who Delivers A Paper

To The 68-Year-Old Man

Who's Been In The Apartment For 125 Years.

He Wants To Go To Florida

So He Wants To Sublease

And Then You Get It For $125.

You Have To Talk To People.

You Have To Get Out And Circulate.

What If You Don't Know A Pizza Delivery Guy?

You Could Talk To Anybody.

You've Got To Circulate.

Get Yourself Out There.

Okay, All Right.

I'll Circulate.

Go Get 'Em!

Go Get 'Em!

I'm Just Going To Throw These Papers Out In The Trash.

Maybe If I Lock Them Out, They'll Stay Out.

Dr. Huxtable

Why Are Daddy And Denise Looking For An Apartment?

Oh, They're Looking For A New Home For You.

What's Wrong With Here?

Well, Sooner Or Later

People Have To Find Their Own Home.

It's Like The Law Of Nature.

I Want To Live Here Forever.

That's Right.

I Want To Grow Up Here And I Want To Get Married Here.

No, Dear, You Don't Want To Do That.

Yes, So You And Mrs. Huxtable Won't Be Lonely.

Trust Me.

Mrs. Huxtable And I Will Not Be Lonely.

Yes, You Will.

I Said We Won't.

We've Worked Hard

To Try And Get These Children Out Of This House.

I'm Not Leaving.

If You Want To Go, Fine.

I'm Not Going Anywhere.

This Is My House.

Good.

Then Can We Work Together?

Well, I Guess If You Put It That Way.

What Did You Have In Mind?

I'll Be A Doctor, Just Like You.

Oh, Really?

We'll Share Your Office

And Go To The Hospital Together Where They Grow The Babies.

We'll Take Your Car, But I'll Drive.

You Seem To Have This All Worked Out.

Sure Do.

You Deliver The Babies, Then I'll Take Care Of Them.

We'll Make

Mucho Dinero.

Well, Listen, You Know My Rule.

Anybody In This House That Brings A Paycheck Can Stay.

Deal, Doctor.

Deal, Doctor.

Yeah, You Can Stay Here.

Matter Of Fact

You're The Only One Who Can Stay Here.

Well, How Did It Go?

Awful. Not Bad.

Oh, I See.

We Looked At Six Apartments

Including This Penthouse.

This "Penthouse" Is A Converted Pigeon Coop.

Cinder Blocks And Plumbing On Top Of The Building.

I Don't Understand The Ads People Put In The Newspaper

And This Was The Best.

I'm Sorry.

I Have Two Days Left Of My Leave.

I'm Tired And I Would Like To Visit With My Daughter.

They Weren't That Bad.

He's Just Tired.

Hey, Denise, I Found A Place.

What? Where? How Much?

Oh, I Don't Know.

The Guy At The Espresso Stand

Was Complaining About His Wife's Psychic.

See, She Had Predicted

That They Would Move Into This Place In Brooklyn

But The Guy Didn't Want To Move To Brooklyn

So It's Still Available.

She Said That She Saw Something

That Was Very Unique And Really Cheap

And In Her Vision

She Almost Saw A Great View Of The River.

Hey, Here's The Address.

This Is Great.

Check This Out.

Thank You.

If Martin Asks Where I Went

Tell Him I Went To Find A Place And To Get My Palm Read.

She Almost Saw A Great View Of The River?

I Think Her Vision Was Blocked By A Big, Brick Bakeshop.

Yes! Yes!

It's Mine! It's Mine!

Yes! Yes!

It's Mine!

I Told You About All That Sugar, Didn't I?

Pardon Me

But This Is Not Your Room.

Yes, It Is.

Excuse Me.

Maybe I'm Getting Old

But The Room That You're Assigned To

Is Down The Hallway.

Let Me Refresh Your Memory.

Sit Down, Sit Down.

Yeah, Help Me.

True Or False?

When Theo Moved Out

You Said That I Would Get My Own Room.

True.

Butdenise And Martin

Moved In

And I'm In The Room With Olivia.

True.

Then You Said When Vanessa Went To College

I Would Get My Own Room, Again.

True, But

I Didn't Know That Cousin Pam Was Going To Live With Us.

I'll Make A Deal With You, Dad.

See, If You Give Me This Room...

Yes?

I'll Forget Everything.

Here.

What Is This?

It's A Lease.

A Lease For What?

For The Room.

You Have Rent Money?

Money?

Think About It.

The Psychic Said

That This Place Is Very Special.

The Man Who Owns This

Custom-Designed The Whole Interior.

Oh, And He Was A Navy Man

So That's Why I Thought We Would Like It.

Well, Now, We Mustn't Prejudge This.

Come On, Let's Keep An Open Mind.

So, According To The Floor Plan...

Oh, Well, We're In The Living Room.

And I Just Do A Little Something Like This...

Here's Our Dining Room.

This Whispers "Martin And Denise"?

It's Not The Amount Of Space.

It's What We Do With It.

This Will Be Our Place.

We Can Hang Pictures And Scatter Plants Around.

It Will Be A Whole New Thing.

What Kind Of Thing?

The Psychic Said This Would Be Your First Reaction.

Did The Psychic Say

This Would Be My Second Reaction?

Hey, Hey, Come On!

You're The One Who Told Me To Go Out

And Said, "We Won't Stop Until We Hit Land."

Well, This Is Land.

Okay, You're Right.

You're Absolutely Right.

Show Me The Rest.

Okay.

This Is Where We Sleep.

And Where Does Olivia Sleep?

Oh, I Just Pull This Out Like This.

Olivia Sleeps In A Drawer?!

This Is Not A Drawer.

It's A Bed Nook.

Look!

Aren't These Portholes Adorable?

Yes, Adorable.

And I Suppose

That This Is Our Wonderful Kitchen.

Now, Dear, It's A Galley.

You Know, Experts Say

That People Walk An Extra Three Miles

Because Of The Inefficiency Of The Modern Kitchen.

Think Of All The Time We Will Be Saving

And That We Could Spend With Olivia.

(Gasps)

And Our Company.

Company?

Company?!

Yes, Our Company.

Come On, There's Room.

The Owner Raised Three Children Here.

Three Children Slept Here.

Where?

Well, One.

Okay...

Two.

What?

Oh.

What Happens If You Get Hungry During The Night?

Do You Fold The Kid Up?

You Know, Martin

I Don't Think I Like Your Attitude.

All Right.

What Is This Thing?

What Do You Mean, What Is That?

That's A Shower, Martin.

In The Middle

Of The Living Room?!

It Is Not The Living Room

When You Do This.

Come On, That's Clever!

Denise, I Have Seen Enough.

I'm Ready To Go.

Martin, It's Only Temporarily.

You're Temporarily Crazy If You Think I'm Living Here.

You Have No Imagination!

And You Have No Sense.

Oh...

Ah!

Excuse Me.

Can I Get You Anything?

No, Thanks.

Want A Bite?

No, Thank You.

Want A Sip?

No, Thanks.

Stop It, Stop It.

Oh, Are We Amusing You Guys?

I Beg Your Pardon?

Yes, You Are.

You And The Refrigerator That Folds Down Into A Bed.

Wake Up Early In The Morning, Take A Shower

And Then Sit Down On Your Stove.

You Guys Should Have Seen Our First Place.

It Was Beautiful, Wasn't It, Cliff?

A Large, One-Bedroom...

Yes, It Was.

Completely Furnished...

With A Spiral Staircase.

And A Terrace.

Please.

Your Mother And I, Newly Married

Decided That We Would Rent A House.

Went To The Realtor.

The Man Had Drawings Of Five Houseboats.

We Wanted To Put Down The Whole Year's Rent

In Front Of The Man

And Then...

(Laughing)

What?

We Got To The Houseboat Around 10:30 That Night.

Had A Lovely Night.

And A Very Short One.

At Five Minutes To 6:00

There Was This...

(Blubbering)

And The Bed Moved And Things Went Across...

(Blubbering)

I Ran To The Window, Pulled Back The Curtain

And There Was The Whirling Blade Of A Helicopter.

And The People

Are Sitting This Far Away From Us.

With Their Newspapers.

There Are Six People Somewhere

Who Know What Your Mother Looks Like.

So, You're Still Here.

We're Sorry, Rudy.

You Didn't Try.

Now I Have To Go Back Up To That Room

And Live With That Four-Year-Old.

She Says She's Going To Live Here Forever.

You Better Watch It.

You Got One Angry Shark Up There.