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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:03,359 --> 00:01:04,996 Boys And Girls Of All Ages 2 00:01:04,996 --> 00:01:06,912 This Is Cliff's Neighbor,Jeffrey Engels. 3 00:01:06,912 --> 00:01:08,903 I'd Like To Tell A Story 4 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:09,910 About The Trouble Cliff Had 5 00:01:09,910 --> 00:01:11,650 With A Sausage Sandwich. 6 00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:13,585 It All Started Late One Night... 7 00:01:13,585 --> 00:01:14,586 Cliff? 8 00:01:14,586 --> 00:01:15,287 Uh-Huh. 9 00:01:15,287 --> 00:01:18,390 Are You Eating A Sausage Sandwich? 10 00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:19,908 Dear, It's Late. 11 00:01:19,908 --> 00:01:21,911 Go, Go, Go Back To Sleep. 12 00:01:21,911 --> 00:01:23,909 Not With That Smell In The Room. 13 00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:26,904 Dear, I Have Been Delivering Babies 14 00:01:26,904 --> 00:01:28,912 For The Last 72 Hours. 15 00:01:28,912 --> 00:01:31,269 The Only Thing That I Had To Eat 16 00:01:31,269 --> 00:01:33,471 Was A Can Of Soup And Some Soda Crackers. 17 00:01:33,471 --> 00:01:34,910 So I Need This. 18 00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:36,708 Please, Please, Please. 19 00:01:36,708 --> 00:01:39,578 It's So Pitiful When You Beg. 20 00:01:40,845 --> 00:01:43,904 I'm Not Eating This Just For Myself. 21 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:46,218 It's For Mrs. Dugan, Dear. 22 00:01:46,218 --> 00:01:48,253 She's Going To Deliver In The Morning 23 00:01:48,253 --> 00:01:50,906 And This Gives Me The Protein That I Need 24 00:01:50,906 --> 00:01:53,910 To Stay Alive And Deliver That Baby. 25 00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:56,908 But You Know That Sandwich Disagrees With You. 26 00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,911 It Does Not Disagree With Me. 27 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,910 Let The Record Show... 28 00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:03,501 Oh, Lord. 29 00:02:04,502 --> 00:02:07,339 The Last Time You Ate A Sausage Sandwich 30 00:02:07,339 --> 00:02:09,474 At This Hour Of The Night 31 00:02:09,474 --> 00:02:11,543 You Dreamed You Were Pregnant 32 00:02:11,543 --> 00:02:14,813 And Gave Birth To An 18-Foot Hoagie 33 00:02:14,813 --> 00:02:16,348 And A Gallon Soda. 34 00:02:16,348 --> 00:02:20,903 And Let The Record Show That It Was Not This Sandwich. 35 00:02:20,903 --> 00:02:22,454 It Was The Water. 36 00:02:22,454 --> 00:02:23,909 The Water. 37 00:02:23,909 --> 00:02:27,909 First Begging And Then Lying. 38 00:02:27,909 --> 00:02:29,761 Sad. 39 00:02:29,761 --> 00:02:31,296 Very Sad. 40 00:02:31,296 --> 00:02:33,903 But If You Just Have To Have That Sandwich 41 00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,906 You Just Go Right On Ahead. 42 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,670 You Enjoy That Little Nasty Sandwich 43 00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:40,907 And You Pretend Like I'm Not In This Room. 44 00:02:40,907 --> 00:02:43,742 Just Pretend I'm Not Even In This Room. 45 00:02:43,742 --> 00:02:44,843 Give Me A Kiss. 46 00:02:44,843 --> 00:02:47,646 I Said Pretend I'm Not In The Room. 47 00:02:47,646 --> 00:02:50,415 You Want To Kiss Something 48 00:02:50,415 --> 00:02:53,652 Kiss That Nasty Sausage Sandwich. 49 00:02:57,904 --> 00:03:01,393 Well, He's Kissing That Sandwich Now 50 00:03:01,393 --> 00:03:04,429 But In A Little While, He's Gonna Be Sorry. 51 00:03:04,429 --> 00:03:05,912 As A Matter Of Fact 52 00:03:05,912 --> 00:03:09,267 As Soon As Cliff Falls Asleep 53 00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:10,869 He'll Understand 54 00:03:10,869 --> 00:03:13,838 That He Should Have Listened To His Wife. 55 00:03:16,903 --> 00:03:18,843 Heh-Heh-Heh. 56 00:03:18,843 --> 00:03:21,780 It's Good, Isn't It, Cliff? 57 00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:24,911 Well, All I Can Say Is, I Hope You're Enjoying It. 58 00:03:24,911 --> 00:03:27,652 (Cliff Belching) 59 00:03:27,652 --> 00:03:30,488 Now Cliff Thinks He's Still Awake 60 00:03:30,488 --> 00:03:32,257 But He's Not. 61 00:03:32,257 --> 00:03:34,911 He's Actually Dreaming. 62 00:03:34,911 --> 00:03:36,911 And You're About To See 63 00:03:36,911 --> 00:03:38,530 What A Sausage Sandwich 64 00:03:38,530 --> 00:03:40,911 At Three In The Morning Can Do To A Man. 65 00:03:44,402 --> 00:03:48,239 Vanessa, What Are You Doing In My Bedroom With A Band? 66 00:03:48,239 --> 00:03:50,308 This Is My Band. 67 00:03:50,308 --> 00:03:54,279 Dad, I Have Finally Decided What I Want To Do With My Life. 68 00:03:54,279 --> 00:03:56,681 Because I Love You Very Much 69 00:03:56,681 --> 00:03:59,851 And I Know How Much You Dig Jazz 70 00:03:59,851 --> 00:04:02,907 I Have Decided To Play Funk Jazz On The Sax. 71 00:04:02,907 --> 00:04:04,910 You Can't Play A Saxophone. 72 00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:07,912 You've Gotta Take Lessons, Practice For Years. 73 00:04:07,912 --> 00:04:10,795 You Don't Know How To Play A Saxophone. 74 00:04:10,795 --> 00:04:12,903 Oh, Man, Why Do Parents 75 00:04:12,903 --> 00:04:15,909 Always Try To Make Things Sound So Difficult? 76 00:04:15,909 --> 00:04:18,803 This Is Easy, I Can Do This. 77 00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:23,208 One! 78 00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:26,911 (Band Playing) 79 00:05:16,912 --> 00:05:19,497 Cliff Couldn't Believe It! 80 00:05:19,497 --> 00:05:21,232 Here In His Own Bedroom 81 00:05:21,232 --> 00:05:23,234 Was Vanessa Playing The Saxophone. 82 00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:24,702 And She Could Cook! 83 00:05:24,702 --> 00:05:27,772 Uh, Can, Can, Can I Try It? 84 00:05:34,910 --> 00:05:36,905 All My Life. 85 00:05:36,905 --> 00:05:38,910 One, Two, One, Two! 86 00:05:41,853 --> 00:05:44,522 (Huffing And Puffing) 87 00:05:46,724 --> 00:05:49,294 What's The Matter With This Thing? 88 00:05:49,294 --> 00:05:51,463 Dad, Dad. 89 00:05:51,463 --> 00:05:53,465 Just Don't Have The Chops. 90 00:05:58,910 --> 00:06:00,538 One! 91 00:06:02,373 --> 00:06:06,478 (Band Playing) 92 00:06:08,646 --> 00:06:11,907 And That Is Why I Gathered You All Here Today. 93 00:06:11,907 --> 00:06:13,485 Ladies And Gentlemen 94 00:06:13,485 --> 00:06:17,689 I Would Like To Present For You The Formula For Penicillin. 95 00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:20,225 All: Ah, Penicillin! 96 00:06:20,225 --> 00:06:23,328 And You Say Penicillin Can Cure 97 00:06:23,328 --> 00:06:25,697 All Kinds Of Infectious Diseases? 98 00:06:25,697 --> 00:06:27,799 That's What I'm Saying, Pierre. 99 00:06:27,799 --> 00:06:28,905 Sacre Bleu! 100 00:06:28,905 --> 00:06:30,802 Sacre Bleu, Me Too! 101 00:06:30,802 --> 00:06:32,303 You Are A Genius. 102 00:06:32,303 --> 00:06:33,371 I Know. 103 00:06:35,707 --> 00:06:36,903 You Must Come With Us 104 00:06:36,903 --> 00:06:38,907 And Study At The Academy Of Science. 105 00:06:38,907 --> 00:06:41,907 There Are So Many Questions That Need To Be Answered 106 00:06:41,907 --> 00:06:44,909 Like How To Make Milk Safe To Drink. 107 00:06:44,909 --> 00:06:46,784 That's Easy, Heat It. 108 00:06:46,784 --> 00:06:48,906 That Makes It Pasteurized. 109 00:06:48,906 --> 00:06:51,523 All: Pasteurized! 110 00:06:51,523 --> 00:06:54,592 And Have You Found A Cure For A Runny Nose? 111 00:06:54,592 --> 00:06:55,660 Blow It. 112 00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:58,763 Blow It! Blow It! Mon Dieu! 113 00:06:58,763 --> 00:07:01,905 Mademoiselle Olivia, You Must Come With Us. 114 00:07:01,905 --> 00:07:02,906 I Can't. 115 00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:05,737 I Want To Stay With My Friends. 116 00:07:05,737 --> 00:07:07,539 But Mon Petit Genius 117 00:07:07,539 --> 00:07:09,841 We Will Bring Your Friends To You. 118 00:07:09,841 --> 00:07:11,442 I Don't Have Any Friends. 119 00:07:11,442 --> 00:07:13,906 I Live In This House With A Bunch Of Old People. 120 00:07:13,906 --> 00:07:15,908 (Crowd Murmuring) 121 00:07:15,908 --> 00:07:19,484 These Old People You Live With, Are They As Smart As You? 122 00:07:19,484 --> 00:07:21,853 Yes, Especially Doctor Huxtable. 123 00:07:21,853 --> 00:07:24,905 He's The Brightest And He's Good-Looking, Too. 124 00:07:24,905 --> 00:07:27,725 (Murmuring) 125 00:07:27,725 --> 00:07:29,561 Mademoiselle, Please Reconsider. 126 00:07:29,561 --> 00:07:31,496 The World Of Science Needs You. 127 00:07:31,496 --> 00:07:33,464 I'm Sorry, I Can Not. 128 00:07:33,464 --> 00:07:35,910 These Old People Would Be Lost Without Me. 129 00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:37,769 I'll Never Leave Them. 130 00:07:37,769 --> 00:07:40,907 (Moaning And Weeping) 131 00:07:40,907 --> 00:07:43,910 I Wouldn't Be In Such A Hurry, Cliff. 132 00:07:43,910 --> 00:07:47,245 You've Just Had The Nice PartOf Your Dream. 133 00:07:47,245 --> 00:07:50,911 The Kitchen Might Look Like It's Empty, But It's Not. 134 00:07:50,911 --> 00:07:53,518 Cliff Is Going To Have Some Juice Now 135 00:07:53,518 --> 00:07:56,821 But He's In For A Big Surprise. 136 00:07:59,907 --> 00:08:03,695 How Did I Get Back In The Service Again? 137 00:08:03,695 --> 00:08:07,732 Well, At Least I'm A Captain. 138 00:08:07,732 --> 00:08:09,834 Captain Heathcliff Huxtable, Front And Center! 139 00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:11,836 And You're In The Navy, Too! 140 00:08:11,836 --> 00:08:13,705 Look At Ya, Heh-Heh. 141 00:08:13,705 --> 00:08:14,806 Give Me A Boat. 142 00:08:14,806 --> 00:08:15,904 Ten-Hut! 143 00:08:17,775 --> 00:08:20,907 How Dare You Try And Shake An Admiral's Hand. 144 00:08:20,907 --> 00:08:22,647 You Can't Do That. 145 00:08:22,647 --> 00:08:24,716 I Can Have You Court-Martialed. 146 00:08:24,716 --> 00:08:26,718 Well, You're My Son... 147 00:08:26,718 --> 00:08:29,854 You're My Son,/Sir. 148 00:08:29,854 --> 00:08:30,909 I'm Just A Captain. 149 00:08:30,909 --> 00:08:32,909 How'd You Get A Higher Rank? 150 00:08:32,909 --> 00:08:35,727 Because You Have Poor Eating Habits. 151 00:08:35,727 --> 00:08:37,228 Ten-Hut! 152 00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:40,908 You Do That One More Time 153 00:08:40,908 --> 00:08:43,903 I Can Have You Court-Martialed 154 00:08:43,903 --> 00:08:45,470 For Insubordination. 155 00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:47,905 Sausage Sandwiches At 3:00 In The Morning. 156 00:08:47,905 --> 00:08:50,608 I Could Have You In The Brig For That. 157 00:08:50,608 --> 00:08:52,844 Bread And Water, No Sausage. 158 00:08:52,844 --> 00:08:54,910 I'll Try To Do Better, Sir, Son. 159 00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:56,314 Sit Down. 160 00:08:56,314 --> 00:08:57,749 Thank You, Sir. 161 00:08:57,749 --> 00:08:59,651 Let's Get To Business. 162 00:08:59,651 --> 00:09:01,904 You Put In For A New Assignment. 163 00:09:01,904 --> 00:09:03,912 You'd Like To Be Restationed In Hawaii. 164 00:09:03,912 --> 00:09:05,590 That's Correct, Sir-Son. 165 00:09:05,590 --> 00:09:07,325 Request To Hawaii... 166 00:09:07,325 --> 00:09:09,861 Denied. 167 00:09:09,861 --> 00:09:13,731 Well, Can I Go To Lake Tahoe? 168 00:09:13,731 --> 00:09:15,333 You're Begging. 169 00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:17,268 I'll Have To Note That. 170 00:09:17,268 --> 00:09:18,703 Shameless Begging. 171 00:09:18,703 --> 00:09:21,912 But, Sir, Where Am I Going To Be Stationed? 172 00:09:21,912 --> 00:09:24,375 I Have The Perfect Place. 173 00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:25,891 Antarctica. 174 00:09:25,891 --> 00:09:27,492 I Can't Go That Far. 175 00:09:27,492 --> 00:09:29,097 My Family Will Miss Me. 176 00:09:29,097 --> 00:09:31,316 I'm Sorry, My Mind Is Made Up. 177 00:09:31,316 --> 00:09:32,648 Captain, Dismissed. 178 00:09:32,648 --> 00:09:35,287 (Clair Screaming) 179 00:09:35,287 --> 00:09:36,648 Cliff! 180 00:09:36,648 --> 00:09:40,158 (Louder Screaming) 181 00:09:40,158 --> 00:09:43,295 Wait A Minute! 182 00:09:46,298 --> 00:09:48,652 That Sounded Very Much Like Clair Screaming. 183 00:09:48,652 --> 00:09:53,138 So Naturally, Cliff Wanted To Save Her. 184 00:09:53,138 --> 00:09:54,372 Slow Down. 185 00:09:54,372 --> 00:09:55,540 Where's The Fire? 186 00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:58,443 Clair's Screaming In There. 187 00:09:58,443 --> 00:10:00,278 Is There A Fire? 188 00:10:00,278 --> 00:10:01,513 No, Worse. 189 00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:02,280 What? 190 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:04,648 Can't Say, But It's Not Pretty. 191 00:10:04,648 --> 00:10:06,318 Not Pretty At All. 192 00:10:06,318 --> 00:10:09,554 Cliff! Help Me, Save Me Now! 193 00:10:09,554 --> 00:10:10,956 That's My Wife. 194 00:10:10,956 --> 00:10:12,991 She's In There, I Got To Go In. 195 00:10:12,991 --> 00:10:15,060 Do You Have Identification? 196 00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:16,061 Driver's License? 197 00:10:16,061 --> 00:10:17,062 Marriage Certificate? 198 00:10:17,062 --> 00:10:18,430 Passport? 199 00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:19,654 Let Me See Your Superior. 200 00:10:19,654 --> 00:10:23,201 Chief! Chief! 201 00:10:23,201 --> 00:10:25,270 All Right, Move It, Show's Over. 202 00:10:25,270 --> 00:10:27,405 Hey, Show's Over. 203 00:10:27,405 --> 00:10:30,573 Denise, It's Me, Dad. 204 00:10:30,573 --> 00:10:31,606 You Look Like My Dad, But You Never Know. 205 00:10:31,606 --> 00:10:32,465 A Lot Of People 206 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,580 Pose As Dads. 207 00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:35,925 Cliff! 208 00:10:35,925 --> 00:10:38,924 Are You Coming In Here Or Not! 209 00:10:38,924 --> 00:10:41,595 That's Mom, Yelling For Me. 210 00:10:41,595 --> 00:10:43,330 Can I Go In, Please? 211 00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:45,733 You Can Go In, At Your Own Risk. 212 00:10:45,733 --> 00:10:46,917 Boys. 213 00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:47,925 Step Aside. 214 00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:50,704 Cliff! 215 00:10:50,704 --> 00:10:53,407 (Crying) 216 00:10:53,407 --> 00:10:54,542 Cliff! 217 00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:57,922 What Are You Doing Outside There? 218 00:10:57,922 --> 00:11:00,781 This Is Your Fault. 219 00:11:00,781 --> 00:11:03,484 I Said To Pretend Like I Wasn't There 220 00:11:03,484 --> 00:11:05,234 And Look What You Did. 221 00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:08,832 Now You Save Me, Quick. 222 00:11:08,832 --> 00:11:11,830 I'll Go Get A Ladder. 223 00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:13,830 Clair Seems A Little Upset. 224 00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,830 I'd Be Upset, Too, Hanging Out A Window. 225 00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:17,406 Help Me! 226 00:11:17,406 --> 00:11:18,825 Do You Have A Ladder? 227 00:11:18,825 --> 00:11:21,825 Of Course We Do, We're Firemen. 228 00:11:21,825 --> 00:11:23,412 Here You Go. 229 00:11:23,412 --> 00:11:25,991 Be Sure To Bring That Back. 230 00:11:25,991 --> 00:11:27,559 You Want To Pet Sparky? 231 00:11:31,509 --> 00:11:32,972 So He's On His Way To Find A Ladder. 232 00:11:32,972 --> 00:11:34,667 But Cliff Won't Find It 233 00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:39,370 Because This Dream Is About To Become Even More Peculiar. 234 00:11:39,370 --> 00:11:40,637 Hey, Doc. 235 00:11:40,637 --> 00:11:41,940 Where You Going? 236 00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:43,374 Who Are You? 237 00:11:43,374 --> 00:11:46,377 I'm The Hypocritic Oaf, Remember? 238 00:11:46,377 --> 00:11:48,212 When You Graduated From Medical School 239 00:11:48,212 --> 00:11:50,351 You Took The Hypocritic Oaf. 240 00:11:50,351 --> 00:11:53,174 You Pledged To Take Care Of Everyone Who Was Sick. 241 00:11:53,174 --> 00:11:56,173 No, That's The Hippocratic Oath. 242 00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:57,596 You Weren't Listening. 243 00:11:57,596 --> 00:12:00,732 Wrong, It Was The Hypocritic Oaf. 244 00:12:00,732 --> 00:12:02,067 You Weren't Listening. 245 00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:04,836 He Never Listens To Anyone. 246 00:12:04,836 --> 00:12:06,771 His Wife Told Him Not To Eat Me 247 00:12:06,771 --> 00:12:08,180 But He Did Anyway. 248 00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:10,175 He Knows I Disagree With Him. 249 00:12:10,175 --> 00:12:13,176 You Don't Disagree With Me. 250 00:12:13,176 --> 00:12:14,176 Yes, I Do. 251 00:12:14,176 --> 00:12:15,176 No, You Don't. 252 00:12:15,176 --> 00:12:16,175 I Do. 253 00:12:16,175 --> 00:12:17,175 No, You Don't. 254 00:12:17,175 --> 00:12:20,173 Why Am I Here, Arguing With A Sandwich 255 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:23,180 When My Wife Is Hanging From The Building. 256 00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:25,090 I've Got To Save Her. 257 00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:26,182 You're Coming With Me. 258 00:12:26,182 --> 00:12:28,994 You Have To Make A Hospital Delivery. 259 00:12:28,994 --> 00:12:32,179 No, Mrs. Dugan Is Not Due Until The Morning. 260 00:12:32,179 --> 00:12:34,533 We're Not Talking About Mrs. Dugan. 261 00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:38,176 This Is Another Delivery And It's An Emergency. 262 00:12:38,176 --> 00:12:40,178 I Can't Go To The Hospital. 263 00:12:40,178 --> 00:12:41,179 Yes, You Can. 264 00:12:41,179 --> 00:12:42,180 No, I Can't. 265 00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:43,842 Can. 266 00:12:43,842 --> 00:12:46,077 See, He's Disagreeing With Me. 267 00:12:46,077 --> 00:12:48,177 I'm Not Disagreeing With You. 268 00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:49,080 You Are. 269 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,081 I'm Not. 270 00:12:50,081 --> 00:12:51,174 You Are. 271 00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:52,174 Cliff! 272 00:12:52,174 --> 00:12:54,619 Put That Sandwich Down And Help Me! 273 00:12:54,619 --> 00:12:56,755 I've Got To Go Save My Wife 274 00:12:56,755 --> 00:12:58,181 Who's Hanging From The Building. 275 00:12:58,181 --> 00:13:01,720 Are You Coming To The Hospital Or Not? 276 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,288 No! 277 00:13:03,288 --> 00:13:05,343 He's Not Cooperating. 278 00:13:05,343 --> 00:13:07,178 Hey, Fellas! 279 00:13:08,934 --> 00:13:11,176 Okay, You're Coming With Us. 280 00:13:11,176 --> 00:13:12,637 This'll Be Easy. 281 00:13:12,637 --> 00:13:14,806 He's Such A Wimp. 282 00:13:14,806 --> 00:13:15,807 Clair! 283 00:13:15,807 --> 00:13:17,108 Clair, I'll Be Back! 284 00:13:17,108 --> 00:13:18,178 No, You Won't. 285 00:13:18,178 --> 00:13:20,078 Yes, I Will. 286 00:13:20,078 --> 00:13:21,513 Won't. 287 00:13:21,513 --> 00:13:23,173 Yes, I Will. 288 00:13:23,173 --> 00:13:25,177 (Monsters Drooling) 289 00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:32,068 Mr. Rudd? 290 00:13:32,068 --> 00:13:35,204 You're The Proud Father Of A Baby Boy. 291 00:13:35,204 --> 00:13:36,932 He Looks Just Like You. 292 00:13:36,932 --> 00:13:38,934 Oh... 293 00:13:38,934 --> 00:13:40,410 ♪ La-La-La-La ♪ 294 00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:43,935 ♪ La-La-La-La La-La-La-La... ♪ 295 00:13:43,935 --> 00:13:46,932 Just Take The Tablets And Call In The Morning. 296 00:13:46,932 --> 00:13:48,651 Wait A Minute. 297 00:13:48,651 --> 00:13:51,588 Do You Have To Squeeze My Arms So Hard? 298 00:13:51,588 --> 00:13:52,931 We Don't Have To 299 00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:54,724 But We Enjoy It, Right? 300 00:13:54,724 --> 00:13:55,935 Yeah! 301 00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,794 Oh, Yeah! 302 00:14:02,931 --> 00:14:04,928 Oh! Argh! 303 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,930 Whew! 304 00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:11,274 All Right, Dr. Huxtable 305 00:14:11,274 --> 00:14:14,935 Go Over To The Admitting Desk And They'll Tell You What To Do. 306 00:14:14,935 --> 00:14:18,882 And Remember, You Took That Hypocritic Oaf. 307 00:14:18,882 --> 00:14:20,936 So Do Me Proud. 308 00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:26,422 Say, You're Dr. Huxtable? 309 00:14:26,422 --> 00:14:27,930 Huh? 310 00:14:27,930 --> 00:14:28,858 Huh? 311 00:14:28,858 --> 00:14:29,928 Yeah, Yeah. 312 00:14:29,928 --> 00:14:30,930 Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. 313 00:14:30,930 --> 00:14:33,930 I Hear You're Making An Emergency Delivery. 314 00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:36,935 You Can't Get Up There Without An Elevator Pass. 315 00:14:36,935 --> 00:14:39,402 I Need An Elevator Pass. 316 00:14:39,402 --> 00:14:40,929 Sure! 317 00:14:40,929 --> 00:14:42,930 You're Lucky You Ran Into Me. 318 00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:46,743 I Can Sell You One For Only $5.00. 319 00:14:46,743 --> 00:14:49,245 Normally, I Charge More, But I Like You. 320 00:14:49,245 --> 00:14:51,714 Don't Tell The Boss I Did This. 321 00:14:51,714 --> 00:14:53,935 Is That What You Want, $5.00? 322 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:59,322 Yes, $5.00. 323 00:14:59,322 --> 00:15:00,928 There You Go. 324 00:15:00,928 --> 00:15:02,625 Okay, Thank You. 325 00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:04,327 Hold The Phone. 326 00:15:04,327 --> 00:15:08,581 Do You Have A Pass To Get Back Downstairs? 327 00:15:08,581 --> 00:15:11,020 A Pass To Get Back Downstairs? 328 00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:12,936 Do You Have One? 329 00:15:12,936 --> 00:15:14,003 No, I Don't. 330 00:15:14,003 --> 00:15:17,440 Oh, That's Going To Be $1,500. 331 00:15:19,983 --> 00:15:21,620 Yeah, $1,500. 332 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:27,000 Let's See, That'll Be $1,505, Yeah. 333 00:15:31,237 --> 00:15:34,240 Okay, Here's $1,500. 334 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,308 Come To Papa. 335 00:15:35,308 --> 00:15:37,043 To Take The Elevator Down. 336 00:15:37,043 --> 00:15:38,978 Did You Drive A Car Here? 337 00:15:38,978 --> 00:15:40,246 Yes. 338 00:15:40,246 --> 00:15:41,616 Where Did You Park? 339 00:15:41,616 --> 00:15:43,283 On The North Side. 340 00:15:43,283 --> 00:15:47,186 That Is Too Bad, Just Too Bad. 341 00:15:47,186 --> 00:15:48,254 What's The Problem? 342 00:15:48,254 --> 00:15:52,325 You Got To Give Me $3,500 More. 343 00:15:52,325 --> 00:15:53,993 To Get My Car Out? 344 00:15:53,993 --> 00:15:57,612 $3,500 More. 345 00:15:57,612 --> 00:16:00,615 All Right, That's All I Have. 346 00:16:00,615 --> 00:16:02,619 Glad I Made It. 347 00:16:02,619 --> 00:16:04,337 Thank You. 348 00:16:04,337 --> 00:16:08,681 All Right. 349 00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:11,685 Nurse! Nurse! 350 00:16:11,685 --> 00:16:14,370 Yes? 351 00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:15,688 Wait A Minute. 352 00:16:15,688 --> 00:16:17,689 You're Not A Nurse, Are You? 353 00:16:17,689 --> 00:16:20,309 What Do I Look Like? 354 00:16:20,309 --> 00:16:22,178 A Good Humor Woman? 355 00:16:22,178 --> 00:16:25,689 You Don't Talk Like That To Your Father. 356 00:16:25,689 --> 00:16:27,684 You're Not My Father. 357 00:16:27,684 --> 00:16:30,976 My Father Wouldn't Leave His Wife Hanging Out A Window. 358 00:16:30,976 --> 00:16:33,422 You're Pushing It Just A Little Bit Here. 359 00:16:33,422 --> 00:16:34,536 Pushing? 360 00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:38,564 Boys, Show This Man What Pushing Is. 361 00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:39,238 Okay! 362 00:16:39,238 --> 00:16:39,982 I'm Telling You... 363 00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:43,219 Wait A Minute! 364 00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,820 Catch! 365 00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,822 Wait A Minute! 366 00:16:46,822 --> 00:16:49,058 (Laughing) 367 00:16:49,058 --> 00:16:53,162 Wait A Minute! 368 00:16:53,162 --> 00:16:55,264 (Crowd Babbling) 369 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,999 Excuse Me, Pardon Me. 370 00:16:56,999 --> 00:16:58,416 Is This Seat Taken? 371 00:16:58,416 --> 00:17:00,423 Shh! 372 00:17:00,423 --> 00:17:02,304 Quiet, It's Starting. 373 00:17:02,304 --> 00:17:03,372 Starting. 374 00:17:03,372 --> 00:17:04,373 Shh! 375 00:17:04,373 --> 00:17:05,968 Good Evening, Ladies And Gentlemen... 376 00:17:05,968 --> 00:17:07,083 And Other Things. 377 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:09,458 Welcome To Operating Theater. 378 00:17:09,458 --> 00:17:12,122 Tonight We Have Something Spectacular. 379 00:17:12,122 --> 00:17:14,124 Right Here, On Our Stage 380 00:17:14,124 --> 00:17:17,794 We Are Going To See The First Delivery Ever Of A Koosbanian. 381 00:17:17,794 --> 00:17:19,458 (Applause And Cheering) 382 00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:21,064 Yeah, Yeah! 383 00:17:21,064 --> 00:17:22,332 Never Seen This. 384 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:26,136 And Now, The Man Who's Going To Make This Delivery-- 385 00:17:26,136 --> 00:17:30,307 The One, The Only Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable! 386 00:17:30,307 --> 00:17:32,462 Who's He? 387 00:17:32,462 --> 00:17:34,844 I Don't Know, I Never Heard Of Him. 388 00:17:34,844 --> 00:17:36,313 Me, Neither. 389 00:17:36,313 --> 00:17:37,414 Me, Neither. 390 00:17:37,414 --> 00:17:40,884 He Doesn't Look Like He Could Deliver A Baby. 391 00:17:40,884 --> 00:17:44,465 He Doesn't Look Like He Can Deliver A Pizza! 392 00:17:44,465 --> 00:17:45,956 Whoa! 393 00:17:46,957 --> 00:17:48,925 So, You Ready, Doc? 394 00:17:48,925 --> 00:17:51,194 I Don't Know. 395 00:17:51,194 --> 00:17:53,463 I've Never Delivered A Koosbanian Before. 396 00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:54,465 I Know. 397 00:17:54,465 --> 00:17:56,333 And We All Admire You 398 00:17:56,333 --> 00:17:58,458 For Attempting Something So Dangerous. 399 00:17:58,458 --> 00:17:59,465 Dangerous? 400 00:17:59,465 --> 00:18:01,304 Wait A Minute. 401 00:18:01,304 --> 00:18:03,458 Is The Patient In Trouble? 402 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,309 No, You Are. 403 00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:09,245 I Thought I Was In Danger Performing An Appendectomy 404 00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:12,115 While Being Shot Out Of A Cannon. 405 00:18:12,115 --> 00:18:13,984 But That's Nothing Compared To This. 406 00:18:13,984 --> 00:18:16,987 (Whispering:) Are You Shooting Me Out Of A Cannon? 407 00:18:16,987 --> 00:18:21,358 You're Going To Be Suspended Upside Down In A Tank Of Water 408 00:18:21,358 --> 00:18:24,160 While Playing "Lady Of Spain" On The Accordion. 409 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,930 (Laughter And Applause) 410 00:18:26,930 --> 00:18:31,368 Oh No, The Koosbanian Is Resisting. 411 00:18:31,368 --> 00:18:34,170 Put A Muzzle On Her Second Mouth. 412 00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:35,805 (Groaning) 413 00:18:35,805 --> 00:18:37,140 (Chain Snapping) 414 00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,463 Oh No, The Koosbanian Has Escaped. 415 00:18:39,463 --> 00:18:42,312 (Disappointed Moaning) 416 00:18:42,312 --> 00:18:43,847 You Can All Go Home. 417 00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:46,149 There'll Be No Delivery Today. 418 00:18:46,149 --> 00:18:48,818 Oh, Brother, Come On. 419 00:18:48,818 --> 00:18:50,353 We Want Surgery. 420 00:18:50,353 --> 00:18:52,088 All: We Want Surgery. 421 00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:53,464 We Want Surgery. 422 00:18:53,464 --> 00:18:55,358 We Want Surgery. 423 00:18:55,358 --> 00:18:57,994 Operate On That Guy, Huxtable. 424 00:18:57,994 --> 00:18:59,095 All: Yeah! 425 00:19:00,797 --> 00:19:02,032 I'll Cut Him. 426 00:19:02,032 --> 00:19:06,464 I've Got The Steadiest Hands In The Business. 427 00:19:06,464 --> 00:19:08,238 Cut Him. 428 00:19:08,238 --> 00:19:09,773 Cut Him! 429 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:10,840 Cut Him! 430 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:12,275 Let Me Up. 431 00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:13,276 Let Me Up. 432 00:19:13,276 --> 00:19:14,458 Let Me Up. 433 00:19:14,458 --> 00:19:15,466 Let Me Up. 434 00:19:19,461 --> 00:19:20,680 Well, I Suppose Cliff Realizes 435 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,279 He Should Have Listened And Not Eaten That Sandwich. 436 00:19:24,279 --> 00:19:26,687 Boys And Girls, Always Listen To Your Mom. 437 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:30,502 And Husbands, Listen To Your Wives. 438 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,471 I Have A Wife And A Mother 439 00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,540 So I Do Quite A Bit Of Listening. 440 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:38,577 Cliff Decided He Would Go Down And Begin The Day. 441 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:39,906 Morning, Dad. 442 00:19:39,906 --> 00:19:41,079 You Don't Look So Good. 443 00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:43,287 Did You Sleep In Your Clothes? 444 00:19:43,287 --> 00:19:44,668 Looks Like Dad Didn't Sleep Well. 445 00:19:44,668 --> 00:19:48,104 He Probably Ate Something And Had Nightmares Again. 446 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:52,586 There Was A Sausage Missing From The Refrigerator. 447 00:19:52,586 --> 00:19:55,280 Dad Probably Ate It. 448 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,567 Well, I Did Have A Bad Dream. 449 00:19:57,567 --> 00:19:59,562 And You Were In It, 450 00:19:59,562 --> 00:20:00,400 And You, And You Were In It. 451 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,187 I'm Just Happy To Be In Brooklyn 452 00:20:02,187 --> 00:20:05,229 'Cause There's No Place Like Home. 453 00:20:05,229 --> 00:20:08,229 You Should Be More Careful. 454 00:20:08,229 --> 00:20:10,686 Mom Said Not To Eat That Stuff Late At Night. 455 00:20:10,686 --> 00:20:11,383 Yeah, Dad. 456 00:20:11,383 --> 00:20:14,100 You Can't Take It At Your Age. 457 00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:17,885 I Cannot Argue With You. 458 00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,963 I Have Learned My Lesson. 459 00:20:19,963 --> 00:20:21,665 Good For You, Dad. 460 00:20:21,665 --> 00:20:23,733 Come On, I'll Drop You At School. 461 00:20:23,733 --> 00:20:25,006 Bye, Dad. 462 00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:27,007 See You Later. 463 00:20:32,642 --> 00:20:34,511 Wait A Minute. 464 00:20:34,511 --> 00:20:36,379 Who Turned On The Lights? 465 00:20:36,379 --> 00:20:38,415 Look, It's Sausage Man. 466 00:20:38,415 --> 00:20:40,008 (Laughter) 467 00:20:40,008 --> 00:20:44,006 You're Not Going To Eat Again, Are You? 468 00:20:44,006 --> 00:20:45,011 Wait A Minute. 469 00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:48,658 You Guys Heard What I Told My Children. 470 00:20:48,658 --> 00:20:51,394 I'm Not Eating Bad Foods Anymore. 471 00:20:51,394 --> 00:20:54,011 If I Had A Nickel Every Time I Heard Him Say That 472 00:20:54,011 --> 00:20:56,015 I'd Buy My Own Refrigerator. 473 00:20:56,015 --> 00:20:59,369 (Laughter) 474 00:21:08,229 --> 00:21:09,597 He's Back. 475 00:21:09,597 --> 00:21:11,199 So's His Stomach. 476 00:21:11,199 --> 00:21:12,294 (Laughter) 477 00:21:12,294 --> 00:21:15,203 And That's The End OfOur Story. 478 00:21:15,203 --> 00:21:16,771 Good Night, Boys And Girls. 479 00:21:16,771 --> 00:21:18,295 Eat The Right Things 480 00:21:18,295 --> 00:21:19,295 And Sleep Tight. 31791

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