Original subtitles

Guess What?

What?

I'm Bored.

Good.

Guess What?

What?

I Want Something To Do.

Guess What?

I'm Cooking Dinner Right Now So Leave Me Alone.

But I Want Something To Do.

I Can Cook.

What Have You Ever Cooked?

Nothing, But I Can Do It.

Olivia, Let Me Explain Something.

This Stove Is Hot.

Now You Come Over Here, Start Fooling Around

Burn Your Little Fingers

Start Screaming Till Nobody Can Hear

And Then You'll Show Somebody Your Burned Fingers

And People Will Be Looking At Me Like This.

That's No Fair.

Everyone Does What They Want Except Me.

I'm Sick Of It.

Guess What?

What?

Follow Me.

Okay.

What Are We Going To Do?

Guess What?

What?

This Is A Salad Bowl.

This Is The Dressing

The Most Important Ingredient That Goes

Into The Salad.

Now Shake It Up So I Can Put It In The Salad.

No, Come On, You Have To Shake It.

Shake It, Because It's Important.

No, No, Look, Look, Look, Shake It.

Shake, Shake.

There You Go.

That's Right.

I'm Getting Tired, Dr. Huxtable.

Keep Shaking.

I'm Getting Tired.

Keep Shaking.

Okay, Okay, Okay.

Now Press The Bottle Close To You.

We're Going To Shake It Up.

Shake It Up... Shake It Up.

Great Meal.

I'm Stuffed.

That Was A Great Meal.

Thank You.

The Older I Get

The More I Appreciate The Love That's Generated

When We Get Together.

Especially, When We Sit Down To Eat.

You Smelled This Food Cooking

From Your Apartment In The Village.

I'm Hurt

By Your Cynicism.

I Came Here To Visit.

I Only Ate To Be Polite.

Ohhh...

Well, Next Time You Come Over, Have Bad Manners.

Theo Comes To Our House To Eat, Too.

The Other Day We Ordered Chinese Food

And Theo Met The Delivery Guy On The Street

And Followed Him To Our House.

If That's How You Feel About My Visits

I Won't Come To Anybody's House At Dinnertime Again.

Fine.

Good!

Yeah.

Well, I Did It.

I Got Winnie And Nelson To Fall Asleep.

How Did You Do It?

Dropped Them On Their Heads.

Rudy...

Just Kidding.

I Guess I'll Go Tuck Them In.

I Already Did.

I Took All The Toys Out Of The Crib

And I Read Them A Story Until They Fell Asleep.

Babies, Nothing To It.

I Use To Think So, Too, Before I Had Them.

Since I've Been At Medical School

Sondra's Gotten To Know The Twins.

I Love Them

But These Are The Only People I See.

Just Take Them Out Of The House More Often.

I Take Them Every Place I Go And They Do The Same Thing.

I Have Been Thrown Out Of Banks, Restaurants...

One Time We Were At A Bus Stop

And The People Pitched In To Give Us Cab Fare

So We Wouldn't Get On The Bus With Them.

Hey.

Hey.

How You Doing?

Sondra's Telling Us

About The Trials And Tribulations Of Raising Twins.

What Trials And Tribulations?

It's Just One Extra Baby.

You Have No Idea.

The Two Of Them Are Almost Impossible To Control.

If You're Organized

Two Babies Shouldn't Be Worse Than One.

Excuse Me?

If I Had Twins, I'd Have No Problems.

Then How Would You Like To Baby-Sit Tomorrow Night

So Elvin And I Can Go Out?

Fine.

In Fact, Stay Away The Whole Weekend.

Take Off The Month.

See You Next Year!

Have You Been In The Cookies?

Now Listen, Your Aunt Denise Is Coming By

And She Will Have A Great Time With You.

Will You Be Good?

( Doorbell Ringing )

Say Yes.

That's Your Aunt Denise Now.

Hey, Neighbor.

I Brought Something For You.

Come In.

Did You Make This Yourself?

Yep.

And This Time It's Legal.

It's Apple Cider Fresh From My Daddy's Farm

And Some Eucalyptus Pecan Soap.

They're The Same Color, So Don't Get Them Mixed Up.

Yeah, Uh...

I Won't.

Also Brought Back Some Turkey Gobblers.

You Guys Come Gobble One With Us.

That Sounds Great

But We're Going Out Tonight.

Can We Take A Rain Check?

Next Saturday?

Sure, But, Bob

Kill The Turkeys Before We Come Over This Time.

No Problem.

I'll Even Kill The Cauliflower.

( Goofy Laugh )

I'll See You Around.

Okay.

The Bend.

Got Me.

Okay, Bob.

See You Around...

Like A Doughnut.

Bob, No More.

I'll See You Around...

All Right, Good Night.

Like A Hubcap.

Okay, Guys.

How Do I Look?

Stunning, Gorgeous-- Like A New Woman.

I Feel Like One.

Winnie, Nelson, Mommy And Daddy Are Going To Go Out

But I Promise We'll Come Back With A Positive Attitude.

( Doorbell Ringing )

Oh, There She Is.

Please Be Denise.

Hello.

Here We Are, Denise Kendall: Baby-Sitter.

We Going To Watch Babies.

Who Do I See In The Pen?

Hi, Winnie.

Hi, Nelson.

It's Auntie Denise.

And Cousin Olivia.

Why Did You Bring Food?

We Have The Baby's Food Right Here.

That's All Pre-Cooked, Pre-Processed-- Please.

It's Also Easy.

Easy Isn't Everything.

Let Me Prepare A Homemade, Totally Organic Meal.

I Always Do It For Olivia.

Do You Like My Organic Cooking?

I Love It.

See.

And I'm Still Alive.

Okay, But Winnie Is Allergic To Carrots.

She Gets A Rash.

Feeding Time Is In Half An Hour.

No Problem.

Denise, If They Start Crying, Just Pop This In The Vcr.

It's A Tape Of Children Singing

"I've Been Working On The Railroad."

Winnie And Nelson, They Love It.

I Don't Know Why.

Just Keep Rewinding It.

What?

You Actually Let An Electronic Instrument

Baby-Sit Your Children?

Yes

And We're Proud Of It.

If You Think You Can Do This Better Than Us

Go Ahead.

If You Need Us

This Is The Number For The Ophelia Theater.

I'll Take It

But We Won't Need It

Because We're Going To Have Fun!

Great.

Okay. Bye, Winnie, Bye, Nelson.

Bye-Bye.

Have A Good Time.

You'll Be Okay?

Yes, Bye.

Let The Baby-Sitting Begin!

What Do We Do?

Let's Fix Dinner.

( Crying )

They're Crying.

What's Wrong?

What's The Matter?

We Heard Crying.

It's Okay, Mommy And Daddy Are Here.

They're Fine, You Guys.

They're Fine.

Should We Go After All?

You're Acting Like I Can't Handle This.

You Don't Have Much Experience With Kids.

I've Done Good With Olivia.

I'm Still Alive.

Okay, Okay, We'll Go.

Good-Bye.

You Sure?

Bye.

Good-Bye.

Let's Start Baby-Sitting

And Let's Do A Good Job

So They'll See We Know What We're Doing.

Yes!

Yes!

( Crying )

Um, I'll Give Them A Toy.

Here You Guys Go.

Whee!

What Do I Do Next?

Videotape.

Yes, With The Children Singing.

They Love That.

Olivia, You're A Genius.

Okay, You Guys, It's Show Time.

♪ I've Been Working On The Railroad ♪

♪ All The Livelong Day... ♪

It Worked! It Worked!

That's Because We're The Best Baby-Sitters!

Okay, Let's Finish Dinner.

Okay...

I Guess We Blew A Fuse.

The Lights Are Out On The Whole Block.

We Must Be Having A Blackout.

Well, Did The Pioneers Need Electricity?

No.

We'll Just Make Dinner In The Dark.

( Babies Crying )

Videotape.

We Can't Turn On The Vcr

Because It Doesn't Work Without Electricity, Sweetie.

We Are In Big Trouble.

Hey, Dad.

Hey.

Whoo, Thank You.

I See You're Reading A Book.

Yes.

I'll Be Quiet.

Good.

I'm Just Going To Get A Banana.

Bananas Are Quiet.

Yes, Thank You.

Mmm.

Why Don't You Count Dad's Gray Hairs?

Why Don't I Count

The Black One's Instead?

Look, You Have A Gray Hair On Your Hand.

I Don't See A Gray Hair.

Look, It's Big.

That's The Way The Light Is Shining On The Thing.

Hey.

Vanessa, Look At The Back Of Dad's Hand.

Whoa, A Gray Hair.

And A Big One.

Dad Said It Was The Light Shinning Off Of It.

No, That's Just An Old Gray Hair.

It May Be A Gray Hair, But It's Just One.

Well, Sure.

They Travel Alone At First.

The Next Thing You Know

They Start Showing Up In Bunches.

Then You Got Them Growing Out Of Your Eyebrows.

I Bet He Has One Now.

He Does Too.

And A Long One.

Look, Look, Look.

Why Don't You Just Leave Me Alone.

I Came Here.

I Wanted To Read My Book Quietly.

What Now?

You Have A Gray Eyelash.

No Way.

Look.

I Don't Believe It.

Listen, Do You All Mind?

I Came Down Here To Read.

I Just Want A Little Quiet.

Okay.

We're Going Upstairs, Dad.

Thank You.

You Know, I Bet After It All Goes Gray

It Will Start Falling Out.

( Babies Crying )

Shh, Don't Cry.

Come On, You Guys.

You Guys Should Be Happy.

Look, I'm Making Happy Faces.

Hi-Eee!

Oooh!

I Have Tried Everything.

I Don't Know What To Do.

I Have Bounced Them.

I Have Told Them Stories.

You Were Their Age Not Too Long Ago.

What Do They Want?

They Want To Stay Awake.

Why?

Because They're Hungry.

They're Hungry, Right.

They Should Have Been Fed By Now.

Hallelujah, Yes, The Lights.

Oh, Look.

They Stopped Crying.

I'm Going To Finish Dinner.

Okay, The Toast Is In The Toaster.

Let's Get This Thing On The Road.

Food Processor.

Microwave.

Blender.

Electronic Cooking.

This Is The Way To Go.

What?

I Can't Believe This.

A Blackout Again.

( Knock )

( Knock )

( Knock )

You Stay There.

Uh... Who's There?

Hi, Sondra.

It's Me, Bob.

B-O-B, Bob?

This Isn't Sondra.

This Is Her Sister, Denise.

Oh, Well, I Came To Offer Some Neighborly Help.

I Got 100 Candles Here.

All Beeswax.

Uh... Just A Second.

Uh, Bob, How Do You Know My Sister?

Well, I Live In 8-B.

"B" For Bob, Beeswax, Blackout?

Bob, Can You Just Leave Those Candles

By The Door, Please?

Okay.

I Don't Blame You For Being A Bit Cautious.

There's A Lot Of Weirdos Out Here.

Okay, Then.

Bye.

Okay, Take Her Easy.

If You Need Any Help, I'm In 8-B.

"B" For Bob, Beeswax And Blackout.

And Bye.

( Goofy Laugh )

That Was Bob, B-O-B.

You Know What You Should Have Told Him?

Mind His Own Beeswax.

I Really Don't Have Time To Make Dinner.

I'll Have To Give Them Some Gross Bottle Food.

Well, Here We Go.

Denise, Stop!

What?

Winnie's Allergic To Something.

Remember?

What Is She Allergic To?

I Don't Know.

I Can't Know Everything.

I Can't Just Go Feed Her.

She Can Get Sick.

I Got To Call Sondra And Elvin At The Movie Theater.

Shoot, What Did I Do With That Number?

You Threw It Away.

Great.

Denise?

Call Your Mom.

Yeah, My Mom.

She's Baby-Sat For Them.

She'll Know What Winnie's Allergic To.

Olivia, You've Really Come Through For Me Tonight.

Well, We're A Team.

We Fed Them.

We Got Them Quiet.

We Got Them To Bed.

We Did A Good Job.

Yes, We Did.

Why Don't We Have Some Dinner Ourselves.

Would You Like Some Pears

Some Peas

Or My Favorite, Custard?

Custard.

Two Custards, Coming Up.

Sondra And Elvin Didn't Think I Could Do A Good Job

But I Think We've Proved Them Wrong.

Yeah.

( Screaming )

Hey.

I Thought You Were Sleeping, Honey.

Did You Hurt Your Hand?

What Are You..?

No, Look.

Are You Talking About This White Hair?

Don't Pull It.

It Wasn't There Yesterday.

There's Only One.

There's Nothing You Can Do.

This Is Nature.

I Thought You Might Go

And Get That Dye You Put On Your Hair.

Dye?

The Dye, You Know?

Excuse Me, I Do Not Put Dye On My Hair.

Yeah, But It's Gray.

I Use Highlight.

You Highlight It?

Yes.

Get The Highlight Dye And Bring It Down Here.

I'm Going To Pluck...

Cliff: No, Go Upstairs And Get The...

Hi.

What Is Going On?

The Electricity Went Out Again.

The Super Says It Won't Be On Until Tomorrow.

And This Was The Only House You Found With A Light?

Dad, Let Us Stay Here Tonight.

No.

Out!

With Their Little Raggedy Children.

Stop.

Out.

No. You Know You Can Stay Here.

How Was The Baby-Sitting?

Terrific. Look At Their Faces.

They're Happy Babies.

Yeah, I Got All The Food Off The Floor.

It Will Take Me A Day

To Scrape The Eggplant Off The Microwave.

Should I Ask What Happened?

First, It Could Have Happened To Anybody.

Secondly, I'll Tell You Tomorrow.

Good Night.

Good Night.

Where Are You All Going To Sleep?

We'll Find Some Place.

I Don't Want Any Babies In My Bed.

Now...

( Babies Crying )

You See?

That's What Makes These, And That

And The Ones That You're Highlighting.

Come On.

We'll Go Sleep In The Basement.

Please.

And Maybe We Won't Need Any Highlight.

Whoo!