Original subtitles

Mom!

Mom.

Yes?

You Have To See This.

Olivia Is Amazing.

Okay, Show It To Me, Whatever It Is.

Olivia, You've Never Seen This Book, Right?

Never Seen It.

And No Coaching, Right?

No Coaching.

Mom, Keeping All That In Mind

Please Turn To Any Page

And Pick A Sentence.

All Right, Olivia.

I'd Like You To Read This Sentence.

You Got It.

"The Brown Cow Ate The Green Grass."

Yes, Amazing!

And Every Word Correct.

And She's Going To Be Four Next Month.

Mom, Have You Ever Seen Any Child, Including Me

Who Could Do This?

Actually, When Vanessa Was Three

She Was Good--

But She Wasn't Nearly As Good

As You Are, Olivia.

You See, You're A Genius.

Okay, Now, Um...

What Sound Does A Cow Make?

Mooooo!

Is She Amazing Or What?

She Does Impressions, Too.

Hey, Dad, You Have To See This.

Okay.

"The Farmer Sat On The Tractor."

So What Else Happened?

Let Me Finish Reading, Please.

Mom, We're On Our Way To Susan's House.

We're Having A "We Survived The Chemistry Exam" Celebration.

That Sounds Like Fun.

The Party's For Girls Only.

'Cause Guys Are Jerks.

But Not All Guys, I Mean You're Okay, Dr. Huxtable.

But You're A Man, You're Older.

Not That You're Old, But You're Not 16.

I Don't Know What It Is

About That Age.

They Don't Tell The Truth And Talk About Sports

And They're Always Talking Behind Your Back

No Matter Who You Are.

That's Why They're Jerks.

I Hope Susan Makes Some Clam Dip.

I Love Clam Dip!

Thank You.

Well, See You Later.

You're Welcome, Bye.

Her Mouth Is Fast.

I'm Bored.

Me, Too.

What Can We Do?

I Know.

Let's Call Up Somebody.

Who Can We Call?

We're All Sitting Here.

Wait A Minute.

The Idea Here Is Not To Be Bored, Right?

All: Yeah.

I Know How We Can Have Big Fun!

How?

A Whole New Way To Play The Alphabet Game.

Wait A Minute.

I'm Not Drinking.

I'm Not Allowed To Drink.

Well, You Won't Have To.

Unless You Lose.

If My Parents Even Smell Liquor On My Breath

They'd Kill Me!

Your Parents Aren't Here.

Live A Little.

Okay, I'm In.

I'm In.

Okay.

Come On, Vanessa, You, Too.

All Right.

Now The Rules Are The Same.

We Got Through And Name A City For Each Letter.

Whoever Breaks The Rhythm, Loses.

And When You Lose, Bottoms Up.

Okay, We'll Go From Left To Right.

Starting With...

Patsy, Go.

Atlanta.

Buffalo.

Chicago.

D.C.

Hold It, Hold It.

No, No, No.

Do You Mean Washington, D.C.?

Yeah, Washington, D.C.

Sorry, But Washington Is The City.

D.C. Is The District Of Columbia.

Come On, You Guys, Let Me Have It.

Rules Committee?

All: Loser!

Come On, Girl.

Come On.

Ooh!

Tastes So Good.

Go For It.

Come On, Come On.

No, No, No, No.

No Sipping.

You Have To Down This One.

All Chanting: Go Kara! Go Kara!

Go Kara! Go Kara!

(Screaming)

Way To Go, Kara.

Ugh!

How Do You Feel?

Warm.

Ooh!

Next Round, Vanessa Has "E."

Evanston.

Fargo.

Galveston.

Hackensack.

Indianapolis.

Jersey City.

Uh...

"K!"

You Broke The Rhythm, Kara.

Should Have Said Kansas City.

Kansas City!

No, Sorry.

Too Late.

Drink, Drink, Drink.

All: Drink, Drink, Drink.

Come On.

Down The Hatch.

(Applause And Cheering)

You're Used To It Now.

Still Okay?

I Feel No Pain.

Round Three, Vanessa, Do "L."

Okay.

Uh, Uh...

Eliston!

Guys, Guys, I Hear Loser City.

No, No, Los Angeles, Lubbock...

Please!

Too Late.

Hey, I'm Having Fun.

Oh, Yeah.

Signed, Sealed And Delivered.

Drink It Down.

Waaaaay Down.

(Gleeful Screaming)

Oh, Come On.

Come On.

Chanting: Drink, Drink, Drink...

Drink, Drink, Drink.

(Cheering And Applause)

Tastes Good, Doesn't It?

Oh, No!

My Parents Will Be Home Soon.

Everybody's Got To Clean Up And Get Out.

I Can't Drive.

Then Leave Your Car Here.

I'll Call You A Cab.

Just Get Out.

You Get Out, Too.

What Did I Do?

Just Go.

Vanessa, Who Are You Calling?

I Have To Call My Sister.

Because My Sister Will Pick Me Up.

Okay, You Just Hurry.

Wait.

I Love Your Phone.

(Phone Ringing)

Hello?

Denise?

Don't Let Mom And Dad Listen In.

Vanessa?

I Need You To Come And Get Me.

It's Serious.

Bourbon, Too Much Bourbon.

That's Nice, Okay.

I Need Me To Pick You Up.

Because Kara Is Drunk.

Bombed, Shhh.

Uh, Okay, Yeah, Sure, I'll Come Get You.

Okay, Bye.

Bye, Okay.

I Thought Kara Was Bringing Vanessa Home.

Oh, Yeah, Well, Uh...

Kara Can't Drive.

It's Her Battery.

Dead.

This Is Your Favorite Movie, I'll Get Her.

No, No, Dad, This Isn't My Favorite Movie.

I'm Going, Bye.

Shh, Shh!

Denise?

I Love You.

I Love You, Too.

I'm So Glad You're Home From Africa.

Ohhh.

Take It Easy, Girl.

(Crying)

I Didn't Even Buy You A Wedding Present.

It's Okay, It's Okay.

Shhh!

(Squealing)

Clair: Honey, While You're In The Kitchen

Would You Please Bring Me Some Juice?

Cliff: You Got It.

You, Uh...

You Want This With Mayonnaise Or Mustard?

Um...

Just Tomato.

No, Just Leave Me Here.

I Want To Go To Sleep.

Come On, We're Almost There.

Denise?

What's The Matter With Vanessa?

She's Just Really Tired.

Really?

She Looks Terrible.

Ooh!

And Her Breath Smells, Too.

You Just Go To Bed And I'll Take Care Of Vanessa.

Fine, Then I Won't Have To Smell Her.

Fine.

All Of Them?

Well, No, Angela.

I Don't Think It's Just Your Daughter's Fault.

Vanessa Didn't Have To Do What Everybody Else Was Doing.

Well, I'm Sorry That It Happened, Too.

Thank You For Calling.

Yeah, Bye.

Sammiches, Coming Up.

Sammiches.

Angela Henning Just Called.

While She And Her Husband Were Out

Her Daughter And Friends, Our Daughter Included

Played The Alphabet Game

While Chug-A-Lugging Bourbon.

It Seems Vanessa Was Very Drunk When She Left.

She Must Have Lost.

Ah!

We Didn't Know You Brought Vanessa Home.

Oh, That's Because You Guys Were Enjoying The Movie So Much

We Just Went Around Back.

What Is That Aroma

Coming From Those Sheets?

Huh?

What Is The Aroma Coming From The Sheets?

Well, Um...

On The Way Home, Vanessa Got The Flu.

She Was Gonna Throw Up In The Car

But She Didn't.

When She Got Home, She Just...

If She Has The Flu I Better Take A Look.

No, Dad, I Already Checked Her.

That's Your Sister In There.

But It's Also Our Daughter.

I'll Go Wash These Sheets.

Why Don't You Do That?

Daddy?

Daddy...

It's My Head.

My Stomach.

Can You Give Me Something?

Nothing I Can Give You.

There's No Cure.

Oohhh...

Vanessa?

Vanessa?

Vanessa?

Uh.

Vanessa?

Vanessa, I'm Talking To You.

Your Mother's Talking To You.

Vanessa, Mrs. Henning Called.

We Know Everything That Happened At Her House.

Ooohh.

We Won't Talk Punishment

Because You're Learning Your Lesson Right Now.

Oh, Thank You.

(Slam)

Oh!

Hi.

What Are You Doing Here?

I'm Eating A Bowl Of Cereal.

You're Supposed To Be Out

But You Keep Coming Back.

You Don't Understand What That Means.

You Come Here, You Eat Cereal, Pork Chops, Anything.

You Hounded Us For Your Own Apartment.

Now That You Have It, Why Are You Always Here?

I'm Not Always Here.

I Just Came To Visit.

In That Case, Why Didn't You Come See Us

Before You Started Eating Cereal?

I Knew You Were On Your Way To The Kitchen Eventually

So I Figured We'd Meet Here.

You Came Down Here To Eat Our Cereal.

Okay, We Ran Out.

Right, Right.

By The Way, I Saw Vanessa.

Oh, You Did.

I Was Upstairs In The Bathroom

Taking A Shower.

We Ran Out Of Soap.

She Was Banging On The Door.

She Said She Was Really Sick.

Vanessa And Her Friends Got Drunk Last Night.

Whoa.

Vanessa Drunk?

That's Pretty Severe.

Took Us By Surprise, Too.

I Never Thought She Would Crack Under The Pressure.

What Pressure?

The Pressure Of Growing Up In This Family.

You Guys Don't Realize What It's Like

Being A Huxtable Child.

Because Of What You Have Achieved

The World Expects More From Us Than Other Kids.

There's Nowhere Else Left For Us To Go But Down.

So That's Our Fault.

Think About It, Dad.

You're A Doctor.

Mom's A Lawyer.

That's A Lot Of Pressure.

We've Never Said, "Son, Become A Doctor Or Lawyer."

We Said Go To School, Study

Become What You Want.

There You Go-- Pressure.

Go To School.

Become Something.

That's A Lot Of Pressure, Mom.

All My Friends See It.

Theo, When Do You Feel This Pressure?

Every Now And Then.

This Is Not About Pressure.

Vanessa Got Drunk

Because She And Her Friends Were Bored.

Although They Had Television, Vcr Cassettes

Audio Cassettes, Books.

And Each Other.

They Call Each Other Every Five Minutes

When They're Away.

Yet They Were Bored Together.

You See.

So You See, Vanessa Did Not Feel Pressure From Us.

The Pressure She Felt Was From The People She Was With.

Okay, Mom.

And To Show You I'm An Open Minded Person

I'm Going To Bring Up What You Said

In My Next Discussion With The Guys About Pressure.

Thank You Ever So Much.

Hi, Mom.

How Was School?

Painful.

I Wish You Hadn't Made Me Go.

I Felt Sick All Day.

Oh, I'm So Sorry That Happened To You.

Come Sit With Me A Little While.

I'd Really Like To Go To Bed.

No, Not Yet.

Cliff, She's Here!

Hey, Vanessa, You're Just In Time.

Just In Time To Play The Alphabet Game With Us.

Dad, You Can't.

If You're Going To Play The Alphabet Game

We Want You To Be Good, So You Don't Lose.

I'm Playing, Too.

You?

Starting Her Out Young So She'll Build Up.

We Don't Want Her To Cave In Under The "Pressure."

I Still Feel Sick.

Don't Make Me.

I Said I Would Never Drink Again.

I'll Start With Letter A.

All Right, Hey.

Altoona.

Boston.

Colorado.

Stop.

Hello?

No Such City.

Where Is The City Named Colorado?

Colorado, Wyoming.

Go Get The Book.

Don't Try It.

Colorado, Wyoming.

You Better Chug-A-Lug.

But I Said There's A Colorado.

Don't Be Shy, Go On.

Goodness Gracious.

Wow!

You Did This All Night Long, Huh?

All Right, Boys, Here They Come.

Whoa!

Hey!

"D," Vanessa.

Detroit.

Uh, Uh, Um...

No, You Don't Uh, Uh, Um...

No, That Was The First Syllable

Of The Town Eatonville.

When You Hesitates Like That...

There You Go.

Chug-A-Lug, Chug-A-Lug.

Let It Not Be Said That I Couldn't Play.

♪ Chug-A-Lug, Chug-A-Lug. ♪

Hit It, Big Momma.

Whoa.

Yes, Indeed.

Ahem.

Here We Go, "F."

Fort Lauderdale.

Genoa.

Houston.

Iowa City.

"J?"

No, Ain't No "J."

I Don't Know.

The Little People Count, Too.

Dad, You Cannot Make Rudy Drink.

Take Your Hands Off Me, Please.

Dad, You Can't.

Hey!

Here You Go, Smarty.

No, No, No.

Eww.

No, You Lost.

It's Nasty.

You Lost.

Look At Me.

Drink Her Down.

Drink Her Down.

Go On, Hit It.

Go On.

Go, Rudy.

All Right.

What You Gonna Do, Chug-A-Lug, Chug-A-Lug?

All Right, You.

Uh, "B?"

"K."

"K," Kenosha.

"L..."

No, "L."

Why Can't I Get "L?"

I Don't Know.

But You're In A "L" Of A Jam Now.

I Tell You What.

The Person Who Loses Every Fourth Time

Has To Drink Four Drinks.

There You Go.

Four Shots?

Four Shots.

That's The Bonus.

Drink Her Down.

Drink Her Down.

Dad, Look, I Promise.

I Will Never Drink Again.

You Are Stalling.

Come On, Chug-A-Lug Like Last Night.

Chug-A-Lug, Chug-A-Lug.

Chug-A-Lug, Chug-A-Lug.

All: Chug-A-Lug, Chug-A-Lug.

Chug-A-Lug, Chug-A-Lug.

Chug-A-Lug, Chug-A-Lug.

Chug-A-Lug, Chug-A-Lug.

All Right!

Hey, All Right!

This Is Tea.

All: Ha, Ha, Got You!