Original subtitles

( Birds Chirping )

You Hear That, Cliff?

The Birds Are Chirping.

It's The Sound Of Spring.

Yeah.

Little Fellas Flew All The Way From Florida.

There They Are.

Say, Fellas, You See This, Don't You?

We'll Make The Same Deal As Last Year.

Every Day I Give You A Couple Of These.

You Stay Away From My Car, Right?

There You Go!

Vanessa: You're A Thief And A Liar!

Rudy: I Am Not!

You're Stingy And Stupid.

( Door Slamming )

Hey!

Vanessa: Yes, Dad?

Hold It Down.

I've About Had It With Those Two.

Every Single Day They Are Fighting.

I'll Think About Their Childhood As Rounds, Not Years.

( Door Slamming )

( Feet Stomping )

Hey!

I'm Sorry, Dear.

( Birds Chirping )

Nature Was Not Always Correct.

It Should Have Been The Children To Fly South.

This Is My Day For Errands

And You Stay With The Dueling Duo.

Come On.

I'll See You In An Hour.

Wait.

Don't Leave Me!

Don't Leave Me Here With Them.

Don't Leave Me Here By Myself.

Tomorrow, Is It Possible

That You And I Could Go On A Picnic By Ourselves?

Spring Has Always Done This To You.

Yeah.

Yo!

♪ Beat It! ♪

( Birds Chirping )

( Door Slamming And Feet Stomping )

Rudy: I Wish You Weren't My Sister.

Vanessa: Why Don't You Crawl Under A Rock?

Rudy: Why Don't You Crawl Into The Sewer?

( Birds Chirping )

( Door Slamming And Feet Stomping )

Hey!

Rudy And Vanessa: Yes, Dad?

Come Down Here.

I Want To See You.

I Did Not Do Anything.

Sit Down.

What Happened..?

Sit Down!

Daddy...

Sit Down, Please, Sit Down.

Are You All Not Happy Here At Hotel Huxtable?

You Sound Like You're Making Adjustments On The Doors.

You Seem That You Want To Bring Them In With You

Whenever You Close Them.

If There Are Problems That Exist In The Hotel Huxtable

Your Mother And I, Your Gracious Hosts

Really Value Any Suggestions You Have.

We're Sorry.

It Won't Happen Again As Long As She Doesn't Start It.

You Started It.

I'm Having A Problem Right Now

Because I Have My Ceiling That Collapsed.

I Want The Mess Cleaned Up.

Oh, Man!

You Get The Dustpan, You Get The Broom

And I'm Going Up To See

What Trouble Went On In Your Suite Upstairs--

What Is Broken And What Is Not.

This Wouldn't Have Happened

If You Hadn't Stolen My Bobby Brown Tape.

You Should Have Lent It To Me.

Can We Just Do This?

The Sooner I'm Away From You, The Better.

Hey!

You Don't Know How To Hold A Dustpan.

I Want The Broom.

Give It To Me!

Ooh, You're In Big Trouble Now.

Hey!

She Did It.

She Tried To Take The Broom Away.

She Swept Dust In My Eyes.

Hey!!

I Went Up And Looked At That Room.

The Door Is Hanging On The Hinge.

The Chair That Goes With The Desk...

The Legs Are Completely Splintered.

Because Vanessa Threw It.

You'll Pay For It Out Of Your Allowance.

Now Sweep The Mess Up.

May I Use The Sink?

As Soon As I'm Done.

Can You Hurry?

You're Doing This On Purpose.

I Am Not.

Nobody Brushes Their Teeth That Slowly.

I Do.

Get Out Of The Way.

Hey!

Ow!

Daddy!

I Did Not Do Anything.

I Was Brushing My Teeth And She Pushed Me.

She's Been Hogging The Bathroom All Morning.

I Think My Arm Is Broken.

Go To Your Room And Keep Waving It.

It Will Get Better.

I Hope You Ground Her Good.

I Was Trying To Put On My Makeup And She Shoved Me.

Did You Hit Her?

Yeah, But...

Hitting Each Other Is Not Allowed.

But She Is Constantly Provoking Me.

She Does That On Purpose

And You're A Sucker For That Every Time.

You Keep Falling For That.

An Older Person Should Know Better

Than To Let A Young Person Pull A Trick Like That.

If You Know She Does This

Why Do You Yell At Me?

Are You Telling Me That I'm Not Too Bright?

No, Dad.

It Was Just An Observation.

You Appear To Be Telling Me That You Don't Think I'm That Bright.

You're Very Bright.

It's Just That She Gets Away With Everything.

You Seem To Have Forgotten The Fact

That When You Were Little

You Used To Do The Same Thing To Theo.

But Theo Really Did Bad Things To Me First.

Yes, But You Were The Person Who Started It First.

I Expect Older People To Know Better.

You're Older Than All Of Us.

You Should Understand What She's Doing To Me.

Which Gets Back To Your Original Statement

That You Don't Think I'm Too Bright.

May I Be Excused?

Why Did You Come In?

To Put On Makeup.

Then Why Would You Ask To Be Excused?

You Haven't Done It Yet.

You're The One Who's Not Too Bright.

World War Five.

Rudy And Vanessa?!

Yes.

I'm Going To...

No, No, No!

It Isn't Necessary, Dear.

I've Talked To Them, And We Have It All Cleared Up.

They Are Peaceful And Gentle With Each Other Now.

Hi, Mom.

Hello.

Rudy, You Want Some Orange Juice?

That Would Be Lovely.

I'll Set Places At The Table.

Thank You.

Here You Go.

Thank You.

You're Welcome.

Mom, It's Okay.

I Don't Have A Fever.

I Must Say, It's Very Nice To See You All

Behaving So Politely To Each Other.

Thank You.

It's Easy For Me

Because I Have Better Manners Than You.

It's Not Good Manners To Tell Someone Else

That You Have Better Manners Than They Do.

It's True.

If You Had Better Manners

Maybe You'd Have A Boyfriend Right Now

Which You Do Not

Because You're A Pig.

You're The Slop That Pigs Eat.

You Are The Piggy That Makes All The Other Piggies Sick.

That Does It.

Stop It!

What Are You Doing?

I Just Wanted To Straighten Her Shirt.

No, No, Come On.

That's It.

I Want Both Of You To Go Upstairs.

I Want You To Take Your Clothes Out Of The Drawers

And Put Them In Suitcases.

Pack Right Now.

You're Not Serious?!

Is This A Serious Face?

You're Throwing Us Out Of The House?

No, Of Course I'm Not Throwing You Out Of The House.

You're Moving Into The Basement.

Mom!

Your Mother Has Nothing To Do With It.

I Am Father!

Hit It.

I'm Serious.

Hit It.

Good-Bye.

But...

We Get The Point.

We Won't Fight Anymore.

We've Learned Our Lesson.

This Is Not A Lesson.

This Is The Way It's Going To Be.

But We Promise, Really.

We Won't Fight Anymore.

Yeah, Dad.

Look, See.

We're Getting Along.

I Love You!

That's Wonderful.

I Love To See That.

I'm Happy That You All Love Each Other.

But This Is Where You're Going To Be.

Just Enjoy Yourselves.

Like Your Mother Said

If You Get Hungry, Go Upstairs Anytime You Want To.

If You Want To Wash Up, Go Upstairs Anytime You Want To.

Think About The Bright Side Of It.

You Have A Washer And A Dryer.

Your Clothes Will Always Be Clean.

Come On.

The Joke's Over, Right?

This Is No Joke.

Isn't This Like When You Took Theo To The Army?

The Army Would Not Take Theo.

The Basement Will Take You.

What Do We Do Now?

This Is All A Bluff.

Nobody Would Do This To Their Kids.

He's Standing Outside The Door Waiting.

He'll Come Back Any Minute.

Just Wait.

Wait.

( 1940s Swing Music )

There.

It's Just Like The Old Saying:

"When You're Given Lemons, You Make Lemonade."

That Doesn't Even Make Sense.

You've Been Moping Around For Three Hours.

You'd Feel A Lot Better

If You Did Something With Your Side Of The Room.

I'm Not Staying Here Long.

How Are You Getting Out?

I've Got Plans.

Big Plans.

Sooner Or Later

I'm Busting Out Of This Joint.

In The Meantime, I Think You Owe It To Me To Tidy Up

So I Don't Have To Look At That Mess.

I Owe It To You?

Yes.

Do You Want To Know

What I Owe You?

This Is What I Owe You.

That Is What I Owe You.

All Right.

All Right, Fine.

I Think It's Time For You To Unpack.

I Can Always Get More Lipstick.

Fine.

What Are You Doing?

Making A Wish.

Leave It Alone!

No!

You Took My Blouse

And Ruined It.

Ah.

This Reminds Me Of A Movie I Once Saw--

Women Behind Bars.

What Do You Want?

I Came Down To See My Basement Beauties.

How's It Going?

Fine.

That's Good.

I Was Talking To Mom And Dad

And It Seems Like You Two Will Be Down Here

For A Long, Long Time.

Yeah? Well, Don't Bet The Farm On That.

Right.

I Hope Both Of You Can Appreciate

The Poetic Justice Of The Situation.

After All The Trouble

Both Of You Have Gotten Me Into Through The Years

I'd Call This Sweet Revenge.

We Like It Just Fine Down Here, Don't We, Rudy?

Yup.

I Hope You Can Still Say That Tonight

When The Rats Come Out.

Rats?

Oh, Wait A Minute.

Don't Listen To Him.

Dad Had An Exterminator Here A Month Ago.

There Are No Rats.

Exterminators Can Only Get Rid Of Living Things.

There's Something You Guys Don't Know.

Dad Bought This House Cheap...

Because It's Built Over A Graveyard.

And At Night

The Angry Ghosts Come Up Through The Pipes

Just Looking For Some Little Girl

To Take Back With Them.

Bye, Girls.

I'm Sure I Won't Be Your Last Visitor Tonight.

( Laughing )

I Don't Believe A Word He Said.

Me, Neither.

That Was A Stupid Story.

( Growling )

( Screaming )

Vanessa!

( Theo Laughing )

Bienvenu Chez Moi.

Bienvenu Chez Moi.

Bienvenu Chez Moi.

Voulez-Vous Prendre Quelque Chose?

Voulez-Vous Prendre Quelque Chose?

Voulez-Vous Prendre Quelque Chose?

Nous Allons Commencer Par Des Escargots.

Nous Allons Commencer Par Des Escargots.

Comment Mommencer...

Escargot. Escargot.

How's It Going?

Tres Bon, Maman Et Papa.

Escargot.

You Fixed It Up Very Nicely Down Here.

We Haven't Heard Any Fighting In A While.

We Figured Either You're Getting Along

Or You Killed Each Other.

The Tape Is Off Your Bedroom Doors.

You're Free To Go Back.

Yes!

Oh!

Thank You, Daddy.

Thank You, Mommy.

Sweet Liberty!

Looks Nice Down Here.