Original subtitles

Elvin: Hey, Guys.

Yeah.

Hey, Look Over Here.

Look At Daddy.

Look At Daddy.

( Laughing )

Muffin, Come Here.

Pick Up Winnie And Nelson.

Honey, Stop It.

Let Me Change First.

You Said You'd Cut This Part Out.

I Couldn't Resist.

Just Show The Babies And Don't Show Me.

I Promise.

Say Gitchee-Gitchee-Goo.

I'm Not Going To Say That.

Looky.

Looky.

You Said You Weren't Going To Show Me.

It's Not On.

Really?

Yeah, It's Not Running.

Great Fake-Out, Elvin.

I'm Good At Getting People To Act Natural.

That's Because You Lie.

I'm Glad They Didn't Have Video Cameras

When Your Father Became A Father.

Watch The Video.

Don't Look At The Camera.

Put That Thing Down!

It's The First Video I've Gotten Of People Watching My Videos.

It's A Whole New Dimension.

Just Look Natural, Please.

Okay, Kenny, Let's Act Natural.

Clair: Let's All Act Natural.

♪ La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha ♪

♪ Ya No Quiere Caminar ♪

♪ Porque No Tiene A Las Piernas ♪

♪ Es Dificil ♪

♪ Ha, Ha, Ha ♪

Elvin: Honey, I've Never Seen That Face On You.

Thank You For Not Looking Into The Camera, Kenny.

Mr. Natural Himself Coming Up Here.

Thank You.

Next.

Elvin: Granddad!

Hi, Grandpa.

Hi, Clair.

I Want A Video Of You

Watching The Family Watching My Video.

Elvin, That's Enough.

I See Everybody Except My Great-Grandchildren.

They're Upstairs Taking A Nap.

They're On Video.

Everybody Doesn't Mind Watching This Again.

No!

I'll Show That To You Later.

Would You Stay For Dinner?

I'm On My Way Home From Madison Square Garden.

I Visited A Friend

Whose Grandson Is Playing In A Band There Tonight.

Tonight's The Night Of The Michael Jackson Concert.

Is He In The Band?

I Believe He Said

The Young Fellow Who Sings Is Named Michael Jackson.

You Know Somebody In Michael Jackson's Band?

He Offered Me Eight Tickets.

I Didn't Know Anyone Who Wanted Them

So I Turned Him Down.

( Frantic Yelling )

Why Is Everybody So Upset?

It's Just A Music Concert.

Michael Jackson Is The Hottest Thing In Music Today.

Is That A Fact?

Yes!

That Concert's Been Sold Out For Months.

You've Got To Call Him And Demand Those Tickets.

I'm Afraid It's Too Late For That.

I'm Going To Get A Soda.

Wait.

What's Wrong With My Memory?

Look What I Have Here.

I Did Get Those Tickets.

( Yelling And Screaming )

Great Fake-Out.

Scream Again.

Take The Tickets Out.

Are There Enough Tickets For Everybody?

There's Anna And Me.

You Two Don't Want To See A Michael Jackson Concert.

We Love Michael.

He's Bad!

That's Two And Then There's Me.

I'm Definitely Getting A Ticket.

Me, Too.

Me, Too.

With Mom And Dad, That's Seven.

Sondra And Elvin Will Flip For The Last Ticket.

They Can Have Those Tickets.

Cliff And I Can Baby-Sit.

Sondra: Oh, Mom, No.

We'd Love To Stay Home With The Babies.

Okay. Thanks.

That Still Leaves One Extra Ticket.

Who Gets That?

Ahem!

Ahem!

Kenny, Are You Sick?

That Ticket Should Go To A Close Friend Of The Family.

Good Idea.

I Wish I Could Think Of Somebody.

We Could Look In The Phone Book.

Hey!

You Get The Extra Ticket.

All Right!

It's About Time You Gave It To Me.

I'm Calling Kara.

I'm So Excited!

This Is Going To Be So Great.

I'll Pick Out What I'll Wear.

I'll Help You To Make Sure

You Look Good.

Michael Jackson!

I Can't Believe It.

We Haven't Been Out Since The Babies Were Born.

I Feel Bad About Your Parents

I Think They Should Have The Tickets.

I Said You Could Have Them.

I Mean It.

People Are Saying It's Michael's Last Tour.

It's A Shame Because He's Dancing Better Than Ever.

I'm Really Not Much Of A Michael Jackson Fan.

What Do You Mean?

You Have All Of His Albums.

You Bought His Book.

You Even Learned To Moonwalk.

Madison Square Garden Is So Big.

We'll Probably Sit In The Back.

We'll Need A Telescope To See Him.

Not With These.

Eighth Row Center.

You'll Probably Sit Next To

Latoya And Jermaine.

It's A Chance Of A Lifetime.

What Is Your Problem?

I Can't Be Hanging Out At Rock Concerts All Night.

I've Got Responsibilities.

I'm A Father Now.

Is This About The Twins?

Are You Afraid To Let Someone Else Watch Them?

Ha Ha.

I Laugh At That Suggestion.

It's Starting To Make Sense.

Every Time I've Wanted To Go Out

Elvin's Had A Different Excuse.

Last Time I Wanted To Go To The Movies

You Said You Couldn't Go

Because They Didn't Sell Frozen Bonbons.

I Once Offered To Drive Over And Baby-Sit.

Elvin Said A Steamship

Collided With The George Washington Bridge.

No Cars Could Get Across.

It Did.

I Heard It At The Supermarket.

It Was Terrible.

There Were People In The Water.

This Is Your First Time Away From Your Children.

It's Only Natural You'd Be Apprehensive.

I'm Not Apprehensive.

Afraid?

I'm Not Afraid.

You Mean That?

Yes.

You Really Do?

No.

How Can We Leave Them?

Muffin, They're Our Babies.

Those Little Tiny Faces.

They're In Their Formative Years.

How Can We Abandon Them Even For One Night?

I'm Not Going.

Elvin, Stop It.

Everything Will Be All Right.

We'll Take Care Of Winnie And Nelson.

Do You Know How?

Son, Chill Out.

Raising Children Is Like Riding A Bicycle.

Once You've Done It, You Never Forget How.

They're My Babies, Too.

I Love Them.

But I Need A Break.

We're Going To The Concert

And We Appreciate Your Offer.

Okay, Fine... I Suppose.

Will You Promise Me One Thing?

What?

Videotape Them.

I Don't Want To Miss A Minute Of Their Growing Up.

You Know Where The Camera Is?

Elvin, Drink Your Tea.

I Like This One.

I Like This One, Too.

What Do You Think?

You've Been Through Everything In Your Closet.

Just Pick One.

Women!

This Is Important.

I Have To Pick The Right Dress.

Michael Might See Me.

Get Real.

He Might.

Might Even Pick Me To Dance With Him.

That Won't Happen.

What's The Big Deal About Dancing With Michael Jackson?

He's A Superstar.

He's Just Another Guy.

You've Danced With Guys Before.

You've Danced With Me.

You're No Michael Jackson.

Only Reason You Like Michael Jackson Is His Money.

Sounds Like Someone In This Room Is Jealous.

He's A Prisoner Of His Own Fame.

I Would Never Want To Be Michael Jackson.

You Have Nothing To Worry About.

You Know What Your Problem Is?

You've Got The Real Thing And Don't Know It.

You're The Real Thing?!

Someday You'll Turn Around And I Won't Be There.

Then You'll Feel Sorry.

Yeah?

I Won't Feel Sorry

Because I'll Be On My Honeymoon With Michael.

I'll Be On My Honeymoon With Whitney Houston.

You Never Told Me You Liked Whitney Houston.

Now You Know.

Deal With That.

We're Here.

My Great-Grandchildren.

Winnie And Nelson.

Hi, Babies.

This Is Auntie Rudy.

Yes, It Is.

I Remember When People Said Hi To Me.

Hi.

Can I Hold One?

Who Would You Like To Hold?

Winnie.

You Have To Guess Which One She Is.

This One?

Very Good.

You Know Your Niece.

Be Careful.

Hi There.

Pretty Soon I'll Be Baby-Sitting You.

I'll Let You Stay Up All Night And Watch Television.

Rudy, She's Got Your Eyes.

Yeah.

They're Big And Pretty.

I'm Going To Take Them Upstairs And Put Them To Bed.

When I Get Back From The Michael Jackson Concert

I'll Tell You All About It.

Yes, I Will.

Come On, Auntie Rudy.

He's That Sick, Margie?

It's Just A Terrible Time To Come To The Office.

I'm Baby-Sitting My Grandchildren.

Cliff?

No, He Won't Mind.

He'd Like Nothing Better

Than To Spend The Entire Evening With Them.

I'll Be There As Soon As I Can.

Bye-Bye.

Hey, Look At You.

That's What I Like About Twins-- One For Each Of Us.

What's Happening, Homey?

What's Wrong With This One?

She's Sad.

Really?

( Sniffing )

Smells All Right To Me.

Isn't This Going To Be Fun?

I've Got To Go To The Office.

Ted Hanley's Not Feeling Well.

I've Got To Prepare His Brief.

Look At This.

Laughing At Grandpa.

Go Ahead.

Give Grandpa A Laugh.

Yeah.

You Go Ahead.

Okay.

Leave Me Here With These Two Juvenile Delinquents.

This Is Granddad, You Understand?

There Will Be No Crying Around Here

For No Reason.

Now, Let Me Tell You Why.

( Baby Fusses )

No, No.

See This?

Yeah.

See, You Know Exactly What That Is.

This Is... Now Wait A Minute.

Let Me Tell You.

Let Me Tell You What This Is.

This Is An Aspirator.

You Put This Up The Baby's Nose.

And It Goes...

( Sucking Noise )

And It Sucks Out All Of Everything.

Little Children Hate That

And They Remember It Always.

( Kissing Noises )

Well, Now, How Are You Two?

Hmm?

Winnie And Nelson.

♪ Sitting In The Pelson ♪

♪ One Want To Go ♪

♪ And The Other Want To Stay ♪

Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey.

I Got Another One For You.

♪ Fee-Diddly-Dee ♪

♪ Fee-Diddly-Die ♪

♪ Where You Want To Go? ♪

♪ Where You Want To Cry? ♪

♪ Watch Me, Toodle-Oo ♪

♪ Watch To The Right ♪

♪ Watch To The One ♪

♪ You Love The Best ♪

♪ Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey ♪

♪ And... ♪

Thought I Was Gone, Didn't You?

Uh, Say, You're Having A Little Hair Trouble There, Aren't You?

Your Sister's Stuff Is Going All East, South, West

But You...You...

Are You Having Woman Trouble Already?

Hi.

Hi.

Hello.

Now, I Am Your Grandfather.

This Is The First Time

We've Had A Chance...

I Am Your Grand...

Help Me Out.

What Are We Looking At?

I... I Am...

I Am Your Grand...

Say.

Say.

Look At This.

Look At This Little...

Look At This One.

That's How Big They Get.

This Is How Big, See?

See What You Have?

Ooohhh!

Wait A Minute, I'll Go Get Something.

You Should Tell People When You're Going To Do That.

Of Course, You Don't Know Much About Me, Do You?

Do You?

You Don't Know That I Had A Brother.

Do You Know That?

I Had A Brother.

Yeah, He Died.

When He Was Seven.

I Was Eight.

Yeah, His Name Was James.

James Theodore Huxtable.

Yeah, And He Died Of Rheumatic Fever.

Yeah, In Those Days, Just Sulfa Drugs, You Know?

Wasn't Much Going On.

So They Couldn't Save Him.

But He Was Something, Though.

Had That Huxtable Thing Inside Of Him.

Because, You Know, His Breathing?

His Breathing Was Like This...

And He Was Always In The Hospital.

So Your Great-Grandmother And Great-Grandfather

They Would Say

"James Is Coming Home, So You Have To Sit With Him."

We'd Sit Outside In The Sun

And He'd Breathe Like This.

And One Day I Was Sitting There Looking At Him

And This Dude Came Up--

He Must Have Been Seven Years Old--

And He Looked At My Brother And He Said

"He's A Sickly Looking Little Guy."

And Man, "Bow"

James Jumped Up And Hit The Guy In The Eye.

And I Turned Around

And Looked At My Little Sickly Brother

And He Was Sitting Down Like This.

I Said, "Go Ahead, James."

But He Died

And I Was Very Sad.

But He's Still With Me.

Still With Me Here.

And He Will Be With You

Because I'm Going To Tell You Some Stories About Him.

He Was Something.

Well, Never Mind.

I Want To Know From The Two Of You

How Has It Been So Far?

Now, When I Heard I Was Going To Be A Grandfather

I Thought, "I Don't Really Feel Like An Old Person."

You Know What I Mean?

Because Old People

They Walk Like This.

Now Watch Me Carefully.

You See What I Mean?

Look At How I Walk.

Almost Like Sidney Poitier.

You See What I Mean?

There Is A Problem, Though.

I Hurt My Foot The Other Day.

So When I Got Up, I Put The Foot Down

And It Hurt.

I Couldn't... You Know?

I Had To Walk Like This.

So I Was Walking Like That And I Noticed

That I Was Walking Like An Old Person.

So I Was Walking Like This.

So Then I Figured

If People Are Looking At Me, Maybe If I Walk Hip, See?

So Then I Was Trying...

And There I Was Walking Like A Hip Old Person.

Now, I Was Explaining To You...

See This?

That's When You Threw Up.

Are They Coming Again?

See This?

This Is The Size It's Going To Get.

Touch It.

Don't Be Afraid, Go Ahead.

Watch, Look At It.

Look At It.

Oh, Lord, I Think One Of Them Is Not Going To Be Too Bright.

♪ Rock-A-Bye ♪

♪ And Don't You Even Try ♪

♪ Because I've Got This One ♪

♪ And Darn I Hope Your Grandmother ♪

♪ Comes Home Soon ♪

♪ Because I Don't Like Being A Grandfather Anymore ♪

I Just Put Cliff To Bed, Poor Thing.

It's Been A Long Time

Since He Did Anything Like This.

We Had A Wonderful Time.

I Needed It.

I'm Glad You Got To Go.

And We Brought You A Present.

Oooh!

A Michael Jackson T-Shirt.

And This Is For Dad.

And, Winnie, This Is For You.

Can You Hold That?

And, Nelson, This Is For You.

And We Also Got You Michael Jackson Poster

And Michael Jackson Book.

We Got You Something That Money Cannot Buy.

Watch Me.

Watch Daddy.

Watch, Watch.

Nelson, Winnie, Ready?

One, Two, Three, Four.