Original subtitles

Bobby Joe Bails Off That Bull.

He's Up And Over The Fence.

We're Seeing Some Great Rodeo Action Today.

Next Up, Hailing From Waco, Texas

Buck Mcpherson.

All Right, Buck.

Go Ahead And Ride That Bull.

That Is One Angry Brahma Bull.

Hi, Cliff.

Hey, Hon.

You Remember Barbara, The Dressmaker.

Hello, Cliff.

Hello, My Lady.

Oh, Sir Clifford.

Could You Watch Downstairs?

I Want To Try On My Dress.

I Want To Watch Buck Ride The Bull.

By The Time I Get It On, He'll Be Gone.

Why Can't I See Your Dress?

I Want To Surprise You

At The Hospital Benefit Saturday Night.

But I've Seen It.

You Think So.

I've Just Covered It In Smashing Gold Beads.

Listen To Clair.

Hit The Road.

And Buck Is Down.

Good-Bye, Cliff.

That Was A Dandy Ride.

Let's Watch It In Slow Motion.

I Have Always Wondered About The Fascination

American Men Have With Riding Bulls.

Very Curious.

You Wouldn't Understand Because You're From England.

You All Chase After The Foxes.

I'm Going Downstairs

To Have A Spot Of Tea

And Kippered Herring...

On Chitlings.

All Right, Darling.

You Can Come Out Now.

I Can't Get It To Zip Up.

When I Put It On Four Months Ago

It Fit Just Fine.

The Dress Is The Same Size.

Perhaps You're Not.

Please.

I Couldn't Have Gained That Much.

The Zipper Probably Needs Wax.

Help Me, Please.

Exhale.

Could You Exhale A Little Further?

Barbara: Darling.

Clair: Oh!

It Won't Go Any Further.

How Much Do I Have To Lose?

If You Lost Three Pounds, You Could Get Into It.

If You Lost Five Pounds

You Could Get Into It More.

When Is This Hospital Benefit?

Next Saturday.

You Can Lose Five Pounds In Six Days?

Yeah, If I Diet And Exercise, I Can

And Cliff Will Never Know.

Barbara: Why?

He'd Be Very Supportive AboutYou Trying To Lose ThisWeight.

That's What You Think.

I've Been After Him About His Weight For Years.

I Finally Get Him To Where He Looks Good

And I Can't Get Into This Dress.

So This Is Staying Within These Walls.

Mum's The Word.

Thank You.

Hello.

Haven't Seen You In This Class Before.

Never Came Before.

I'm Going To Get Myself In Shape.

You'll Like This Class.

We Have Some Nice Teachers.

Good.

But Watch Out For Emma Newhouse.

She Wears This Leopard Headband.

Emma Is The Meanest Thing On Two Feet.

The Woman Gets Pleasure Out Of Making You Suffer.

We Have A Nickname For Her...

Captain Bonecrusher.

Hello, Kay.

I'm Glad You're Here Today.

Come On, Baby.

Stretch, Stretch.

There We Go.

Good Afternoon

All You Sagging Hunks Of Flesh.

I Can See You've Been Munching Those Chocolate Bon Bons

And Licking That Gourmet Ice Cream

And Some Of Y'all Been Going Back For Seconds.

Remember How You Been Saying

"I'll Enjoy It Now And Pay Later"?

Let Me Introduce Myself.

I'm Later.

Up On Your Feet, Ladies.

Breath In.

And Stretch.

And Stretch.

And Down.

And Lunge.

Come On, Kay.

Work It.

And Up.

Again.

Come On.

Stretch It.

And Down.

And Lunge.

Work That Thigh.

Down And Up.

Contract, Release.

Contract, Release.

Come On, Ladies.

You Paid To Be Here.

Let's Work It.

You've Got To Burn It

To Earn It.

You've Got To Sweat It

To Get It.

You've Got To Shake It

To Make It.

Knees Up.

Come On.

Come On, Honey.

You In That Deco Leotard.

Who, Me?

Yeah, Baby.

Knees Up.

I Saw That.

Don't Roll Your Eyes At Me.

I'm Not The One

Whose Thighs Got A Mind Of Their Own.

All Those Potato Chips Around Your Waist.

Oh, You Didn't Like That.

Come On.

Show Me.

Take Me To The River.

Yeah.

Ha.

Can You Feel It?

(Mumbling)

I Didn't Hear Everybody.

You Need An Extra Five Minutes.

We Can Feel It.

Too Late.

We're Doing The Extra Five.

Now Jump.

Hop.

Come On.

Hop.

Flap.

Where Did That Deco Leotard Go?

Betty, Three Feet

To Your Left.

Everybody, Keep Going.

Oh, I Found A Special Friend.

You're Going To Be

One Of My Special Students.

Everybody.

I Want Y'all To Watch Fantasia Jump.

Come On.

Knees.

Faster, Faster, Faster, Faster.

Pump It.

Yeah.

This Is The Gold.

Go For The Gold.

Anyone Left In This Room

Automatically Has To Take My Next Class.

I Knew That Would Get You.

I Would Love To Stay For Your Next Class.

Unfortunately, I Have An Appointment.

An Appointment Where?

At The Dairy Queen?

Excuse Me.

I Paid For The Exercise But Not For The Abuse.

The Abuse Is Free.

You're One Of Those Rich Ladies That Comes Here To Lose Weight

To Fit Into Some Fancy New Dress.

Shows How Much You Know.

The Dress Is Old.

Well, How Much Weight Do You Need To Lose?

Five Pounds In Six Days.

Honey, Those Are The Miracles You Pray For.

Get Down On Your Knees Now.

Now You Wait A Minute.

It Is Very Important That I Get Into This Dress.

Whatever It Takes, I'll Do It.

I Might Need Personal Help.

Would You Be My Trainer?

I'm Not Getting Involved With A Woman With No Self-Control.

I Have Self-Control.

You'd Have To Exercise Four Hours A Day.

I'll Exercise Five Hours A Day.

You'll Have A Very Strict Diet.

The Stricter The Better.

You'll Eat 3 1/2 Ounces Of Protein

1 1/2 Cups Of Fresh Vegetables

No Salt, No Sugar

And Ten Glasses Of Distilled Water.

That's Pretty Strict.

You Got A Problem With That?

No, Because I'm A Good Dieter

As Long As I Can Splurge Once.

I Got A Weakness For Mexican Food--

Quesadillas, Guacamole.

You See, Guacamole Butt.

No Self-Control.

Forget About The Mexican Food.

Whatever The Diet And Exercise Just Bring It On

Because I Am Here To Work.

I'm Going To Look So Good When We're Finished

I'll Make My Own Video--

The Clair Huxtable Workout.

I'm Not Giving You A Copy.

You'll Have To Buy Your Own.

Hold On Now.

Take That Jacket Off.

My Next Class Is About To Start.

Now You're Talking.

Okay.

So Where Is Everybody?

You're It.

Come On.

Come On, Honey.

Show Me Something.

And Work It.

And Knees Up.

Up.

Hey, Hey, Hey, Come On, Now.

Dinner Smells Delicious.

Thank You Very Much.

Yeah, Dad.

This Will Be Even Better Than What We Get

At El Grande Restaurant.

Might.

You Even Made

Guacamole And Quesadillas-- Mom's Favorite.

She's Going To Love You For This.

I Had Your Mother In Mind When I Made This Decision.

Buenos Dias.

My Little Flower.

Gr-R-R-Ung, Gr-R-Rung, Gr-Rung, Gung Gung.

Gr-R-R-Ung, Gr-R-Rung, Gung Gung.

What Do You Smell

Coming From The Kitchen?

Huh?

What Is It?

Mexican Food.

Si.

I Want You To Know

That In Honor Of Being Your Husband...

I Love You So Much

I Decided To Recreate The Entire Menu

Of El Grande Restaurante.

I Am Making Conchitos Los Vitos El Grande Meal For You.

I Am Taking The Pork From The Pig

That Was Killed While It Was Alive.

I Have Diced It So Fine

Put It On The Skillet With The Butter.

Two, Three Pounds Of Butter.

You Could Hear...

(Sizzling Sounds)

And Then Took A Jalapeno Pepper...

Threw It Into The Grease And Pulled It Out Right Away.

Two-Second Jalapeno Pepper In The Butter

With The Oink Flesh Sizzling And Crackling.

"Oh, My Goodness," I Said.

"My Wife Loves This Meal."

She Says

"Oh, Cliff, This Restaurant Is Out Of This World."

I Have It For You, My Dear.

What Do You Say?

I'm Not Hungry.

What?

But Listen.

I Made Guacamole.

I Made With My Own Hands.

From The Same Recipe Of The Man Who Gave It To Me.

This Man Who Made The Tortillas...

107 Years Old.

Ground The Corn With His Own Knuckles.

He Ground The Corn So Fine To Make The Tortilla.

Then To Put On The Tortilla, Some Double Monterey Jack

Cheese...

To Melt Over Them.

What Say You, My Love?

I'm Not Hungry.

You Say... What?

I Have Made Guacamole Sauce For You.

Guacamole.

The Avocados Were Hand-Held On The Plane

By Mrs. Mole Herself Who Brought The Guacas And Said

"Please, Dr. Huxtable

Make These For Your Beautiful Wife."

What Say You?

What Say You?

What Say You?

I'm Going To My Room And Have A Carrot.

What?!

Say You A Carrot?

Well, Okay.

Hey, Kids.

Get Ready For Some Mexican Food.

Yeah!!

(Humming Fandango Music)

(Gasp Of Pain)

Push, Push.

It's All Right, Cliff.

It's Okay.

It's Just A Little Leg Cramp.

It's Okay Now.

I Didn't Know What That Was.

(Scream Of Pain)

What's Going On?

What's The Matter, Dear?

Let Me Straighten It Out.

I've Got To Straighten It Out.

That Should Feel Better.

Don't Touch It.

I'm Fine.

I Haven't Done A Thing.

I'm Fine.

I'm Okay.

Just Lay There.

I'm Fine.

You're Okay.

Let Me Rub It...

No, No, Don't Touch It.

You've Never Had This Before.

It's All Right.

You All Right?

Where You Going?

Bathroom.

See.

I Just Have To Walk On It.

You're All Right.

You All Right?

Please Don't Touch It.

Let's Get Up.

I Think I'm Going To Sleep Right Here.

You Just Throw Some Covers On Me.

I'll Be Fine.

We'll Do That.

Just Throw Some Covers Over You.

This Will Be Fun.

Just Like Camping Out.

Just Don't Touch Me.

I Won't.

Just Like We're Camping Out.

Come On, Clair, Come On.

One More Lap Around The Counter.

Go For The Gold, Girl.

Push It.

All Right, Take A Break.

It's Lunch Time.

Food!

We Have These Beautiful Salads I Prepared.

Clair, You're Doing So Beautifully.

By Tomorrow, You'll Be Able To Jog That Last Mile.

Before You Know It

That Weight's Going To Come Flying Off.

I Have A Special Treat For Both Of Us Today.

Croutons.

Croutons.

Yes, Croutons.

Some For You And The Rest For Me.

Bon Appetit.

Don't Touch That Salad.

What's The Matter?

I Have Five Croutons And You Have Seven.

Dear, I'm Not The One That Has To Lose Three More Pounds.

I Want My Crouton.

I'm Serious.

All Right, All Right.

I'll Take Two Out Of My Salad.

I'll Throw Them Away.

Then We'll Both Be Even.

You're Not Throwing Away My Croutons.

What Are You Doing?

Look What You Did.

Now Neither One Of Us Gets To Eat Them.

Want To Bet?

What Are You Doing Up?

It's 5:00 In The Morning.

You're Supposed To Be At The Hospital

Delivering Twins.

I Delivered Them Already.

Go Back And Get Some More.

You're Thinking I Came Down Here

To Eat All This.

Well, You're Wrong.

Really?

I Didn't Want It To Spoil, So I'm Cooking It.

(Humming Fandango Music)

Shut Up!

I Had One Bite, That's All.

How Do You Know It's Not For You?

Because...

Shut Up!

You Don't Have To Worry About Me.

It's You I Worry About.

Don't You Be Down Here Eating Up This Food.

There.

I've Cooked It Up, I've Turned It Off

And I've Put It Back.

I'm Going To Bed Hungry.

I Do Hope You're Satisfied.

Shut Up!

♪ Dum, Da-Da-Dum, Da-Da-Dum ♪

Clair.

Yes?

We'll Be Late For The Benefit.

No, We're Not, Because I'm Not Going.

What Do You Mean You're Not Going?

I Have Nothing To Wear.

I Understand What This Is All About.

You Gained Some Weight.

Don't Ask Me How I Found Out.

I Know You Can't Fit Into That Dress Barbara Made.

It's Not The End Of The World.

What Do You Know About Anything?

I Know You Have

Many Dresses In That Closet That You Can Get Into.

You Look Beautiful In All Of Them.

Put On The Pink Chiffon Strapless Thing.

No.

What About The Green Thing With The Little Bow In Back?

You See?

I Don't Even Have A Dress Like That.

That's Your Mother's Dress.

Go Get It From Her!

Cliff, I'm Not Going.

Look, You Are Going!

I'm Sick Of This.

Just Because You're A Grandmother

And You're Uptight About Fitting Into Some Dress...

I'm Telling You I'm Tired.

You're Going To Put On Something Or I'm Tearing This Door Down.

Are You Ordering Me To Do Something?

If You See This Door Fall Down, You'll Know.

All Right, Let's Not Get Vicious.

Come On.

Why, Don't You...

Look At You.

Look Carefully, Dear.

Notice I'm Not Wearing Artificial Supports

And I Can Breathe.

You're Kidding?

And I Can Move.

And I Can Do Any Dance You Fling At Me.

I Want To Kiss You.

You'll Mess Up My Makeup.

I'll Just Do It With My Lips.

No, You're Not.

You'll Need Me.

You Might Cramp Up Tonight.

"Oh, Cliff, Cliff!"