Original subtitles

Hey, Dad, I'm Back.

Did You Pick Up Grandma And Grandpa's Mail?

Yep.

They'll Be Back Tomorrow From Florida.

Here's Something I Think You Should See.

They Won A Sweepstakes.

This Is A Come-On Letter From A Subscription Service.

They Say You Won $18 Trillion.

You Get Nothing.

This Does Not Say, "You May Be A Winner."

It Says, "You Are A Winner."

It Says, "Open Immediately."

What's Going On?

Grandma And Grandpa Might Be Multimillionaires.

They Won A Sweepstakes.

We Received An Envelope Just Like This Today.

I'll Show You.

Sorry, Son.

Wait A Minute.

This Is Different.

This One Says, "You May Be A Winner."

This One Says, "You Are A Winner."

Let's Open It.

You Can't.

Yes, You Can.

This Is Not Addressed To You.

It Says, "Open Immediately."

It Says, "Russell Huxtable, Open Immediately."

I Am The Man's Son.

I Give You Permission To Open It.

Does Theo Open Your Mail?

She Has A Point.

Hey, Man, I'm Not Talking To You.

You Understand?

My Father Won't Be Here Till Tomorrow.

If We Open It Now, He May Get The Prize.

He's Got A Point.

Thank You, Son.

One Day Won't Result In His Losing Any Prize.

My Father Is Up There In Age.

If He Opens That

And Finds Out He's Won $3 Trillion

Something May Happen Up In His Chest.

If We Open It, See The Ten Trillion

I Can Call Him In, Tell Him Calmly

And He Won't Have Chest Pains.

That's Not A Good Point.

Who's Asking What You Think?

Open It.

Opening Someone's Mail Constitutes Petty Theft.

You Can Do Time For That.

So This Letter Goes In This Basket

Until Your Father Comes Back.

Okay, Miss Play-By-The-Book.

If My Father Wins Some Money

I'm Going To Tell My Father

That He And I Will Split It And You'll Get

(Raspberry)

Nothing.

I'm Going To Study.

Mom, Dad, You Have To See This Video.

It's The Lipsticks' Debut.

Who Are They?

Nobody Till 12:30 Today.

We Were Walking By Latham's Department Store.

We Saw A Sign--

"Make Your Own Videotapes."

What's More Important Videos Or Eye Shadows?

We Said, "Videos."

Janet Said, "Eye Shadows."

That's How We Came Up With The Name The Lipsticks.

Vanessa Thought The Eye Shadows Sounded Better

But She Changed Her Mind And That's Who We Are--

The Lipsticks.

Thank You.

Vanessa?

We Made A Video.

The Store Provided The Background Music

We Provided The Vocals

And They Videotaped It.

Let's See It.

Okay.

(Rock 'N' Roll Music)

♪ Everybody's Doin' A Brand-New Dance Now ♪

♪C'mon, Baby, Do The Locomotion♪

♪ I Know You're Gonna Like It If You Give It A Chance Now ♪

♪C'mon, Baby, Do The Locomotion♪

♪ My Little Baby Sister Can Do It With Ease ♪

♪ It's Easier Than Learnin' Your Abc's ♪

♪So C'mon, C'mon, Do The Locomotion With Me♪

Channel 37 Is Having A Contest

For The Best Amateur Music Video.

We'll Put Together New Outfits

Redo The Video And Send It In.

The Winner Gets An Audition For A Record Contract.

One Of Our Songs Might Become A Hit.

We'd Go On Tour

And Become Real Famous

And We Could Take School In Our Own Plane

With Teachers That We Hired.

Do You Think

We Could Win?

What I've Seen Is That You All Have The Moves.

Now, The Singing?

Uh...

I'd Say... Uh...

You Have Raw Talent.

That's What The Video Lady Said.

We're Like A Diamond In The Rough.

She Said If We Had Voice Lessons

We Could Be Really Good.

She Gave Us The Name And Number Of A Singing Teacher.

How Many Lessons Will We Need?

Probably Just One.

(Woman Scatting)

♪ We're Moving ♪

♪ Moving ♪

♪ Moving On ♪

All Right, Guys, That's All For Today.

Thank You Very Much.

Miss Woods?

I'm Vanessa Huxtable.

I Called About The Singing Lessons.

You Must Be The Lipsticks.

In Person.

Young Persons, Too.

We Have The Moves.

We Just Want To Sound Better.

Let's See What You Got.

Okay.

Let's Do The First Verse Of "The Locomotion."

Do You Want Us On The Stage?

No, Right There's Good.

Five, Six, Seven, Eight.

♪ Everybody's Doin' A Brand-New Dance Now ♪

♪C'mon, Baby, Do The Locomotion♪

♪ I Know You're Gonna Like It If You Give It A Chance Now ♪

♪C'mon, Baby, Do The Locomotion♪

What Do You Think?

It's Nice.

♪Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay♪

♪ Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee ♪

♪Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee♪

♪Zinga, Zinga, Zinga, Zinga Zinga, Zinga♪

We Can Move On To "Grulla Crulla"

(Plays Phrase)

♪ Grulla Crulla ♪

♪Grulla Crulla, Grulla Crulla♪

Miss Woods, We Only Have

Five Minutes Left In The Lesson.

Could We Sing Our Song To See If We've Gotten Any Better?

Let's See What You've Got.

All Right!

Five, Six, Seven, Eight.

♪Everybody's Doin' A Brand-New Dance Now♪

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

Breathe From Your Diaphragm

But Let The Tones Come From Your Head.

Lift, Lift.

Again.

♪Everybody's Doin'...♪

Ladies...

First Word Again, Please?

♪Every♪

♪Body♪

That's Great.

That's All For Today, Ladies.

♪ ... All Night Long ♪

♪ One Thing I Know You Can Do ♪

♪ You Can Do It To Me All Night Long ♪

♪ Uh-Huh, Baby ♪

♪ Do It To Me All Night Long ♪

♪ 'Cause You Do It Just Right ♪

♪ So Do It All Night... ♪

Hey, Why Did You Do That?

What Are You Listening To?

The Radio.

That Song Was Playing On The Radio?

Yeah.

It's Called

"Do It To Me All Night Long."

Would You Tell Me, Um...

What Does "It" Mean?

Daddy, You Know What "It" Means.

Yes, I Do

But I Want To Know If You Know What "It" Means.

"It" Means Holding Hands And Kissing.

Holding Hands And Kissing?

Yes, But That's Not All That "It" Means.

What Else Does

"It" Mean?

It Means, Uh...

Homework.

"It" Is Homework.

"Baby, Do My Homework All Night Long."

Okay.

Okay.

♪ Baby, Do My Homework All Night Long ♪

There You Go.

(Teapot Whistling)

Oh, Sounds Like You're Making Tea.

Yes. Would You Like A Cup?

No, But I Figured

If I Showed You This Sweepstakes Envelope

You Might Know What You Could Do With That Teapot.

Are You Suggesting

That I Place That Envelope Near The Steam

So It Might Open Up?

I'm Merely Bringing It Up As A Possibility.

Well, I Think That As A Son, You Have Hit An All-Time Low.

You're Right, Dad.

I'll Just Put This Back.

Now, Because I Don't Trust You, My Boy

I Am Going To Keep This Envelope Away From You

Because I Don't Trust Anything You Do.

How Dare You Suggest

That I Do Something Like This?

Do You Understand What I'm Saying To You?

And Don't Ever Try It Again.

You Two Are Pathetic, Pitiful...

And Predictable.

See, You Got Me In A Whole Lot Of Trouble.

Aha!

♪ Do-Do-Do-Do-Bee ♪

Listen, I Apologize For Acting Like A Sleaze, Okay?

Think Nothing Of It.

I'll Sit With You.

Do A Little Light Reading.

Oh, What Should I Read?

What Should I Read?

I'll Close My Eyes And Let's Get It...

Oh, What Is This I'm Touching?

You Were Spying On Me.

Yes, You Were Spying.

No, I Wasn't.

I Think You Can Go To Jail

For Hiding People's Mail.

Hey!

How You Doing?

There They Are, The Rolly Pops.

How Did It Go?

We Learned We Don't Need Singing Lessons From Miss Woods.

She Didn't Even Let Us Sing.

All We Did Was

Be-Be-Be

Zinga-Zinga-Zee.

We Don't Want To Sing Like That.

I Don't Think You're Being Fair To Miss Woods

And What She's Trying To Do.

You Want To Get To The Song

But She Taught You Breathing Exercises.

Correct?

Same Thing Happened To Me.

I Wanted To Be A Drummer.

Had My Own Set.

I Heard Art Blakey Play, Bought His Records

Tried To Copy Him.

I Couldn't Get It.

So I Went Down To A Teacher.

I Said, "I Want To Learn How His Left Hand Does

"Di-Di-Di-Di-Di

"While The Right Hand Does

Ding-Di-Ding-Ding."

The Man Said

"I Know What You're Talking About."

He Put The Set Aside, Pulled Out A Block

And He Said, "Do Like This--

"Whack-Whack

Whack-Whack."

I Said, "I Don't Want To Go Whack-Whack.

I Want Diga-De-Diga- De-Diga-De-Diga"

He Said, "In Order To Get To That You Got To Go

Whack-Whack-Whack."

That's A Great Story

But It Doesn't Have Anything To Do With Us.

We Don't Play Drums.

We Sing.

Yeah.

But You Don't Sing Well... Yet.

We Don't Have To Sing Well.

You Don't?

There's This Group Called W-Four.

And?

They Can't Sing.

When They're In The Recording Studio

The Engineer Fixes Their Voices.

That's What We'll Do.

Wait Till You See What We Look Like!

We'll Put On The Outfits And Show You Our Routine.

All Right.

All Right!

♪ Motion, Yeah! ♪

♪ Motion, Woo! ♪

Mom, Dad, We're Ready!

Okay.

So Where Are They?

They Have To Make Their Entrance.

Ladies And Gentlemen

Presenting Live In The Huxtable Living Room

The New, The Improved Lipsticks!

(Rock 'N' Roll Music)

♪ Everybody's Doin' A Brand-New Dance Now ♪

♪C'mon, Baby, Do The Locomotion♪

♪ I Know You're Gonna Like It If You Give It A Try Now ♪

♪C'mon, Baby, Do The Locomotion♪

♪ My Little Baby Sister Can Do It With Ease ♪

♪ It's Easier To Learn Than Your Abc's ♪

♪So C'mon, C'mon,And Do The Locomotion With Me♪

♪You Gotta Swing Your Hips Now...♪

Mom, Why Did You Do That?

We're Not Finished Yet.

Yes, You Are.

I Thought They Were Hot.

Maybe You Should Go Up To Your Room

And Cool Off.

Aw, Man.

Mrs. Huxtable

Is There Something Wrong?

I Don't Know Who You Think You Are

But You Are Not The People

Who Just Came Down Here In My Living Room Half Dressed

Flinging Parts From One End To The Other.

Are My Eyes Deceiving Me?

Aren't You All Swollen In Areas

Where You Weren't Swollen Before?

Thank You, Because I Definitely Detect Some Growth.

Mom!

That's Part Of Our Outfits.

The Only Part Of Your Clothing

That You Will Be Allowed To Stuff Things Into

Will Be Your Pockets.

You Go Put Some Clothes On.

I'm Not Your Mother, But I Speak For Them

When I Say Go Cover Yourselves

Immediately.

Yes, Mrs. Huxtable.

I Finally Thought They Were Old Enough To Understand

I'm Not A Child Anymore.

And Don't Put Those Tissues Back In The Box!

Did You See Kara With That Bra On

On Top Of Her Leotard?

Did I See It?

We Have Made A Mistake.

We Have Planted Roses, But We Keep Getting Weeds.

Sondra's In The Wilderness

Denise Is In The Jungle

And She's On "The Locomotion."

Take That War Paint Off Your Faces!

Before Their Mothers Come In Here And Blame Me.

Running Around Here

Like They Just Hopped Off The Hot Seat.

Suppose Some Fool Comes Along, Sees That

Takes Them Seriously...

Vanessa Could End Up Across The Country

In A Smoke-Filled Cafe

Singing And Dancing And Gyrating Like That.

I Won't Be Around

To Take The Tissues Out.

What Do They Know?

"Easy As Doing Your Abc's..."

Miss 1,400 On The S.A.T.

I Got Your Locomotion Down Here With A Science Book!

Right.

And Take That Makeup Off!

That's Right.

I Can See Her Now

In A Hollywood Swimming Pool

With A Remote Phone, Calling Me Up:

"Hi, Mom, Babe. Let's Do Lunch."

I'll Not Have It!

And That Goes For Me, Too.

Vanessa, Clair, The Show Starts At 8:30.

We Got Five.

(Doorbell)

Hey! Hey!

All Right!

How You Doing?

Here's Your Mail.

All Right.

Bang!

There It Is.

I Dropped Your Mother Off.

Did I Tell You About

The Fishing I Did In Florida?

Yeah.

Open This Up, Please.

I'll Open It With Your Mother.

No, Don't Wait And Do It With Her.

Cliff, Calm Down.

Have You Been Eating Sugar Products?

No, Sir.

Just Open This Up.

We'll Tell Mom Later.

All Right, I'll Open It.

All Right.

There You Go.

If You Don't Mind.

Uh-Oh.

What?

This Is Unbelievable.

I Have Never Won Anything In My Life And Now This.

What?

I Am The Winner

Of A Stainless Steel Toaster.

"Makes Up To Eight Slices."

I'm So Lucky.

I'll See You Later, Son.

Stop Over Any Time You Want Some Toast.

Announcer: Ladies And Gentlemen

Count's Proudly Presents Miss Amanda Woods.

(Slow Jazz)

♪ To Have His Love ♪

♪ Is All That A Girl Could Want ♪

♪ To Hold Him Close Is Heaven ♪

♪ To Watch The Sun Come Up Each Day ♪

♪ With Joy, I Took A Chance ♪

♪ And There He Was ♪

♪ For Me ♪

♪ Look What I Got To Kiss Every Night Now ♪

♪ Look What I Got To Hold Hands In The Park With ♪

♪ I Got A Man ♪

♪ I Got A Brand-New Dance ♪

♪ Motion ♪

♪Motion♪

(Giggling)

♪ Look What I Got ♪

♪ I Got Love, I Got Love, I Got Love ♪