Original subtitles

Mom, Did I Get Any Phone Calls?

Kara Called.

She Talks So Fast I Never Understand Her.

Yeah, That's Kara.

Anyone Else?

No, Honey, That's It.

Are You Sure?

If You're Talking About Roy, He Didn't Call.

Roy?

Yeah, Roy-- The Boy You Talk To On The Phone Constantly.

Oh, Yeah.

I'm Tired Of Him Calling Here Every Day.

Dad, Did Anyone Call For Me At Your Office?

Call For You At My Office?

Why Would Somebody Call On My Phone And Ask For You?

Did You Give My Number Out?

No.

I'm Glad Nobody Called.

I Don't Want Any Phone Calls.

Dumbest Things Ever Invented.

Alexander Graham Bell Was Stupid.

What's That All About?

She Got A Pimple?

No, I Think We're Having A Little Trouble With Roy.

Roy.

Well, That's What It Is.

We Got Another One Turned 15

And The Boys Are Starting To Ruin Their Lives.

And Ours.

Mom, Dad, I Have Something To Tell You.

Oh, Lord.

It Might Be Good.

How Long Have You Lived Here?

Come On.

Oh, Gosh.

Hey.

I'm Glad You're Home.

Sit Down.

So What Do You Have To Tell Us?

Well, I Quit My Job.

Where You Going?

There's More?

I Haven't Even Got To The Good Part Yet.

Sit.

Okay, So Things Didn't Work Out For You

At The Pizza Parlor, Huh?

I Quit That Job Two Weeks Ago.

I've Had Two Jobs Since Then.

I Was Working As A Messenger For Elio, The Fashion Designer.

His Real Name's Elliot, But He Makes Everyone Call Him Elio.

I Was Having Lunch At A Coffee Shop

And I Forgot His Sketches On The Counter

For His Entire Spring Line.

When I Went Back, Someone Had Stolen Them.

And That's When Elio Fired You?

Yeah, But I Insisted He Pay Me For Three Hours' Work.

Did You Ask Him About Your Christmas Bonus?

I'm Really Happy With My Job At The Pyramid Gallery.

But You're Quitting This Job?

You'd Quit, Too, If You Had A Chance At This Job.

What's The Job?

It's A Once-In-A-Lifetime Opportunity.

What Is The Job?

I Don't Think I Could Explain It As Well

As The Woman That I've Been Working For.

So I Invited Her Over.

She Can Explain Everything

You Need To Know About Me Going To Africa.

Africa?

The Pygmies Live In Africa

And I Need To Be Near Them For This Job.

When Did They Ask For You?

Elizabeth, The Woman Who's Coming Over, Is A Photographer

And I Want To Go With Her To Take Pictures.

She Wants Me To Be Her Assistant.

Denise, You Have Never Expressed Interest In Pygmies Or Africa.

That's Because I've Never Known Anything About Them

Until I Saw Elizabeth's Photographs At The Gallery.

Then She Described What It's Like There.

The Pygmies Believe That They Are One With Nature.

They Live In Complete Harmony.

Because There's No Competition

They Don't Spend Their Whole Lives

Trying To Climb The Ladder Of Success.

Now I Understand.

'Cause You'll Fit Right In There.

As A Matter Of Fact, You Won't Even Have To Take An Exam.

You'll Go Right Straight To Honorary Pygmy.

Hey, Vanessa.

Hi.

What's The Matter With You?

Are You Having Problems With Roy?

He Doesn't Mean Anything To Me.

That's Not What You Were Saying Two Days Ago.

You Were Saying:

"Roy, My Love, My All, My Only Reason To Live."

Rudy, Stop It.

I Know You're Having Boy Problems.

How?

You Knocked Over Your Orange Juice.

Whenever You're Having Boy Problems, You Knock Things Over.

I Do?

Yes.

What Are You Writing?

A Poem.

Can I Read It?

Sure, Why Not?

Thank You.

Nice Penmanship.

"I Am Alone In The Field.

"It's Over.

"The Sun Has Set, But No One Has Said Good Night.

"It's Over.

"I Step On A Cricket.

"He Makes No Sound.

He's Over."

You've Got It Bad.

What Do You Know About Love, Anyway?

I Know I'll Have Love The Way I Want It

Or Not At All.

You Can't Control The Way Love Happens.

If A Boy Tells Me He Doesn't Love Me Anymore

I'll Tell Him, "You're Wrong.

You'll Love Me Until I Tell You Not To Love Me."

Look, Rudy, You're Too Young.

You Don't Understand Love.

It Doesn't Work That Way.

It Sure Doesn't Work Your Way.

( Squealing )

How Many Centimeters Is She?

Dumb Pencils.

Can't They Make Them So They Stay Where You Put Them?

Are You Finished?

Dad, I'm Sorry.

I Just Needed A Pencil.

Kara And Janet Are Coming Over To Study.

Janet And Kara.

Kara, The One That Talks So Fast

I Don't Understand A Single Word She's Saying?

I Understand Every Word She Says.

( Doorbell )

They're Here.

Janet And Turbo Tongue.

Dad, Be Nice.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

It's True That Dreams Really Happen, And I Know Why

And I Have To Tell You Right Now.

Kara, Tell Her What's Going On.

You, Me And Janet Are Getting Three Tickets

To Look, Listen And Drool At...

Are You Listening?

I Hope You're Listening.

...Tom E. Tame And The New Tame Gang.

Can You Believe It?

That's Why These Tickets Are For Backstage.

Tommy Could Walk Right By Us After The Concert.

He Might Accidentally Touch Us

And Ask Us To Go To Dinner.

Right!

I Bet He'll Bring The Band Along.

They Work Up A Huge Appetite

When They Guitar Their Brains Out.

You Can Bring Roy.

Roy!?

I Wouldn't Invite Him To A Dog Fight.

Are You Having Problems With Roy?

We'll Talk About It In My Room.

I Knew That Boy Was No Good From The Minute I Saw Him.

He Thinks He's So Cool.

Yackity, Yackity, Yackity, Yackity, Yackity, Yackity.

You Need To Dance With Someone Who Can Dance As Well As You

And You Dance Really Well.

Okay, What Happened?

Greg Zinzer Told Me That Freddy Timmons Told Him

That Roy Is Telling People He Broke Up With Me.

No. No.

Yes.

I Went Up To Roy And Said, "What's Going On?"

What Did He Say?

He Said, "I Have To Go To Chemistry Class."

Did He Expect You To Believe That?

He Gets C's In Chemistry.

He Doesn't Even Care About Chemistry.

He's Trying To Avoid Facing Me.

If It's Over Between You And Roy

Maybe You Should Just Accept That It's Over.

It's Not Over Until I Say It's Over.

I Never Heard You Talk Like This.

Where Did You Get That?

Rudy.

These Are Photographs

Of The Pigmy Women Of The Ituri Rain Forest

In Zaire.

Very Striking.

Didn't I Tell You Her Photographs Were Exciting?

You Do Beautiful Work.

I'm Working On A Book Of My Photographs.

It's A Three-Year Project.

I Hope To Get The Photographs I Need

For The Third Section With This Trip.

What About Your Living Conditions?

This Is Very Basic Living.

We'll Be Staying In Small Huts And Sleeping On Mats.

Does Denise Know That There Is No Cable Television?

Of Course I Know.

It's Completely Natural, The Way Life Was Meant To Be.

What Will You Eat?

The Pigmies Are Hunter-Gatherers

So Their Main Diet Is Boiled Roots And Wild Leaves.

Yum-Yum.

They Also Eat Meat Such As Antelope And Snails And Termites

And Grubs And Beetles.

Denise Is Going To Eat Bugs?

Bugs Are A Very Good Source Of Protein.

I See.

How Do You Like Yours-- Raw Or Al Dente?

Actually, They Cook The Beetles.

They Throw Them On Hot Coals, They Peel Back The Wings

They Pull Off The Legs And The Belly Plate

And Pop Them In.

Mm-Mmm.

My Father Said

"Never Throw Away A Good Belly Plate."

We Put Them With A Hamhock, Add Some Water To That, Boy.

We'd Sit There All Night Long And Crunch Away.

I Hope I'm Not Discouraging You

From Letting Denise Take This Job.

One Question:

Why Would You Hire Denise?

Denise Told Me About All The Jobs She's Had Lately.

Frankly, She Sounds Exactly Like Me At That Age

When I Was Trying To Find Myself.

So You Know Denise's Track Record.

What Are You Going To Do When One Day

In The Middle Of The Rain Forest

Denise Says

"I'm Tired Of Sleeping On This Mat

"And Eating These Boiled Leaves And Bugs.

I Want To Go Home."

The Pigmies Are Very Protective.

One Of Them Would Guide Her Out Of The Forest

To The Nearest Dirt Road.

That's About A 20 Or 30-Mile Hike.

From There

She Would Hitch A Ride On A Supply Truck Another 100 Miles

To The Nearest Field Station.

When A Plane Becomes Available...

Becomes Available?

Yes.

She'll Be Picked Up In A Clearing.

Then She'll Fly Another 1,000 Miles

To The Nearest City With A Major Airport.

If It's Not The Rainy Season

The Whole Trip Shouldn't Take More Than Two Weeks.

I Just Feel Stupid Using A Travel Agent.

Yeah, Sherry.

That Was An Incredible Good-Night Kiss.

It Was Like The Sun Had Entered My Body

And Was Radiating Energy Out To My Fingers And Toes.

Then I Floated Out Of My Body And Hovered Over Us.

Then You Joined Me, And We Floated Hand In Hand

Into The Cosmos.

Mom?!

What Are You Doing On The Line?

How Long Have You Been Listening?

Sherry, Don't Hang Up.

Mom, Look What You Did.

No, Don't Make Fun Of Me.

Sherry Likes It When I Talk To Her Like That.

Yeah, I'm Sure.

All I Did Was Kiss Her Good Night.

Okay, Bye.

Theo, Did Anybody Call For Me?

I Was On The Phone.

You Are Always On The Phone.

There Are Other People In This House.

You Must Be Expecting A Phone Call From Roy.

I Might Be.

I Thought He Dumped You.

How Could You Say That, You Insensitive Jerk?

You're Not Supposed To Say Things Like That.

This Is All So Stupid.

Vanessa, I Just Made This Popcorn.

I'm Sorry, Theo.

I Didn't See The Bowl.

I'm Lashing Out At Everyone.

You Don't Want To Eat This Anymore, Do You?

I'll Go In The Kitchen...

Vanessa, This Is My Econ. Book.

It Cost Me $29.

Theo, I'm Sorry.

No, Don't Touch It.

I'll Go Into The Kitchen, And I'll Get Some Paper Towels.

Dad, You've Got To Do Something About Vanessa.

She Blew Up At Me.

She Knocked My Popcorn All Over The Floor

And Spilled Milk Over My Econ. Book.

The Book I Paid $29 For?

You've Got To Straighten Her Out.

What's The Problem?

I Don't Know.

Something About The Phone, Roy.

The Babe's Freaked Out.

You've Got To Understand.

She's 15 Years Old.

You Have To Have Patience.

Give Me This.

Just Cool Out.

Hi.

Dad, I'm Sorry.

I Spilled Milk All Over The Place

And I Spilled Some Popcorn.

Okay, Just Sit Down.

Sit Down.

Over Here, Hon.

All Right, My Love.

What's The Problem?

What's Happening?

Talk To Me.

About What?

Talk To Me About What's Bothering You.

Nothing's Bothering Me.

I'm Fine.

Okay, You're Fine.

Tell Me About Roy, Then.

All Right, Dad.

My Friends Are Telling Me

That Roy Is Going Around Telling People

He Broke Up With Me.

But He Hasn't Called To Tell Me.

I'm Upset That He Hasn't Called To Tell Me.

I'll Go To Roy's And Tell Him To Call.

He Has To Call Me On His Own.

If A Guy's Going To Break Up With Me

He Should Call Me.

You Think Guys Are The Only People Who Don't Call Back?

Women And Girls Don't Call, Either

I Will Have You Know.

When I Was Young, I Met This Girl Named Marie.

She Didn't Call Me.

There Was Somebody Before Mom?

Of Course There Was Someone

Before Your Mother.

I Met This Girl Named Marie.

She Was Gorgeous.

I Went Up To Her, And I Said, "I Really Like You Very Much."

She Said, "I Think You're Wonderful, Too."

I Said, "We'd Make A Wonderful Couple.

"Here's My Phone Number.

"Please Call Me.

I Will Wait By The Phone."

I Went Home.

I Waited By The Phone.

I Sat On The Phone.

My Mother And Father Wanted To Use The Phone.

I Said, "Please Don't Use The Phone."

She Did Not Call, I'm Telling You.

Finally, I Got A Call.

Was It Marie?

It Was Your Mother.

Was This A Story To Make Me Feel Better?

Of Course It Was.

Thank You, Daddy.

All Right, Dear.

What Did They Say?

I Had My Ear To The Door.

All I Heard Was "Denise," "Quitter" And "Dropout."

That's All You Heard?

No.

Then I Heard Daddy Say

"Rudy, Get Away From The Door."

That's It.

I'm Not Going.

The Chance Of A Lifetime.

Hello.

First Of All, I Want You To Understand

I Didn't Appreciate Your Sending A Spy.

On Top Of That, You Sent

A Lousy Spy.

Sorry, I Was Anxious.

Your Father And I Have Reached A Decision.

I'd Like To Say

I Think Denise Should Go To Africa.

Let Them Give Me The Bad News.

Your Father And I

Have Debated Every Aspect Of This Question.

The Decision Has Not Been An Easy One.

I'm Not Going.

May I Finish, Please?

Yes.

We've Decided

That As Far As This Trip To Africa Is Concerned

The Answer Is Yes.

( Screaming )

We Still Have A Few Questions To Ask Elizabeth.

She'll Be Happy To Answer Anything You Need To Know.

I Am So Excited.

You Guys Don't Worry About Me.

Where I'm Going Will Be Difficult And Rugged.

The Most Difficult Part

Will Be Being Away From You Guys.

I Really Enjoyed Being Back Here.

It's Been Really Nice.

I Hope You Think Of Me.

I'll Be Thinking About You Every Day.

Right.

At Least Once A Week.

That's Better.

I'm Going To Miss You.

Me, Too, Sis.

Me, Too.

It Won't Be The Same Here Without You.

Yes!

I Got My Room Back!

I Love Life!

( Phone Ringing )

I'll Get It.

Hello.

Huxtable Residence.

Well, Well, Well.

We've Been Expecting To Hear From You.

Vanessa, It's Roy.

Roy?

Let Him Have It.

Show Him No Mercy.

I'm Taking This In The Other Room.

Rudy, Come With Me.

I Might Need Help.

I Got It.

Roy, I Want To Talk To You.

I Want To Talk To You, Too.

Do You Know What You Put Me Through?

I'm Sorry.

You Should Be.

I Found Out From Other People That You Broke Up With Me.

I Never Said That.

I Said I Hope We Never Break Up.

You Really Said That?

Yeah.

I Guess We're Getting Back Together.

We Never Broke Up.

Let's Meet At The Mall Tonight.

Okay, Bye-Bye.

How Come You Didn't Let Him Have It?

Roy Is A Gentleman, Rudy.

He Was Trying To Protect My Feelings.

Oh, Man.

Love's A Joke.

No, It's Not.

Not If You Have A Guy Like Roy.

Yes!

Thank You!

In Two Days

She'll Be Writing About Dead Crickets Again.