Original subtitles

Original translation by Akayuki ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Color, alignment & timing by SamFive @AvistaZ

We want to be Idols.

I'm Asahi.

I'm Nami.

I'm Hinata.

Asahi

The three of us are 18-year-old girls who share a dream of becoming idols.

Nami

Hinata

But we always fail at the auditions.

49 applications, 49 rejections.

This is only my 38th time.

Hinata failed over 100 times.

From then, the three of us underwent a huge change.

A mysterious old man appeared with a gun.

Why do they have guns?

Assaulted by a perverted producer.

No ...

For the first time witnessing the world of L.

* L = Lesbian

Meeting an influential member of the Entertainment Industry.

A charismatic singer.

A childhood friend.

We were ...

... saved by female President, Kamonohatsu Saeko.

She also turned us into ...

I feel terrible.

Riku

I’m Riku.

Kai

I’m Kai.

Kuu

I’m Kuu.

Osu ...

... turned us into good looking boys.

I'm paying today, so everyone party hard.

I don’t care if you’re the most popular singer or whatever.

A woman with an ugly character like yours is nothing to rejoice about.

You have a surprisingly hard chest.

I want to be Music 10’s number 1 top idol.

Mendol ~Ikemen Idol~

Mendol ...

... episode 2.

Episode 2 A Five Way Relationship Between ‘Men’?

A five way relationship between men.

It's been a week since we've debuted as the beautiful-boys-goup, Persona.

We have been busy participating in late night television singing programmes ...

... competition programmes and promotion events.

But of course ...

We didn't earn any money.

My binding cloth’s crooked.

Itchy.

Nya, mou.

Hey ~

What's up with those girly screams?

A question for you guys.

What do you want?

These breasts ...

... or those breasts.

Which is better?

I look at the size of a woman’s nipples to pick a winner ...

... but this guy here says that small nipples are better.

These here are better, right?

But, no, I think the ones here are better.

Move it.

Men are the worst.

Yeah, you’re right about that.

Maybe not all of them.

Men ...

... are the best.

Those brawny biceps ...

... so irresistible.

Hinata wants to nuzzle up against that strong chest.

Maybe women are the worst of all.

Saeko's secretary Marilyn

Hey you guys.

The release date of Persona’s debut CD has been confirmed.

Seriously?

Is that so?

It’s true.

On top of that, the distributing company is...

... Japan’s top seller Sunny Music Company.

That's great.

Awesome.

Right now, the President is off to fetch an influential member of the Sunny Music Co.

It’s a dream come true.

Ah nope ...

... I mean it's like a dream come true.

You’re not dreaming.

Here ~

Ah, here too.

Stop it, Kai, Kuu and Marilyn too.

Isn’t it wonderful to have an influential person to back you up?

No talent at all, but you can still debut.

Ryoji.

You got a problem or something?

Watch the tone of your voice when you are talking to me.

We have already been in the industry for 10 years.

What 10 years?

I've never heard of you.

That's some talent you have there.

What did you say?

Want to go?

Yeah, let’s fight one to one.

Don’t be like that, Ryoji.

Come on, give me your best.

Get lost.

Kai ...

You idiot, if you reveale you're a girl, what are we going to do?

That's right.

Let go of me.

Listen up ... I dislike, no ...

I hate guys like you who don't do anything but whine all day.

You have a death wish don’t you?

Riku ... kyaaa.

No I mean ... arghhh.

Who is he?

Does it feel better now?

I apologize sincerely ...

Agency President Saeko

... to have allowed you, Katsuyuki, the director of Sunny Music, to get hurt.

Sunny Music?

Katsuyuki is the successor of Sunny Music and he became the director at such a young age.

No, my father's success is due to Saeko-san's care ...

Sunny Music producer Katsuyuki

... so I wanted to help out as soon as I could.

I want to take good care of Katsuyuki too.

He’s really cool.

I don’t see any wedding ring which means ...

...he’s single!

It’s not the time to talk about a relationship.

We are boys now.

A true good-looking-man.

Hey, get over here and apologise to Katsuyuki.

We’re really sorry.

It’s okay.

Picking a fight?

It is really rare to see young men with backbones these days.

Young men?

You know, Hinata is actually a ...

Were you about to say something?

No, nothing.

Yes, nothing.

. Kamonohatsu Entertainment Agency

Ah, why must I be a male?

Everything might work out if Hinata could just get closer to Katsuyuki.

Hey, you two ...

Whaaat?

What's the meaning of this?

Looking after Katsuyuki's father?

Taking care of the bottom part of that perverted president?

Even though you said yourself that men are filthy.

I said that to help those kids debut.

Persona is my, Kamonohatsu Saeko's, own ambition.

No matter how I *bleep* and *bleep* with men ...

... I definitely did it because I want to let them become Japan’s number 1 top idol group.

But you don’t have to *bleep*.

You’re jealous, aren’t you?

Even if you say that ...

... I’m not letting you off.

Is that so?

Those two are ...

... doing L again?

Right here.

Marilyn ...

I can’t take it any more.

I’m going to escape from the clutches of the Ls.

Staying there with them ...

... sickens me.

What are you saying?

Let go of me.

I hate L the most.

Sarukawa-shachou?

Monkey Pro. President Sarukawa

This is the first time you meet Kuu, isn’t it?

This is Sarukawa-shachou, the President of Monkey Productions ...

... the parent company of Kamonohatsu Ent. Agency.

Osu, I’m Kuu.

You’re a new member right, I have heard it from Saeko.

Actually, today ...

... I’ve brought a special guest here.

R-Ray?

Seriously?

Ranked number one for ten consecutive weeks on Music 10.

The very charismatic singer ... Ray.

Super Charismatic Diva Ray

Ray is under our main department ...

... and is now our company's best-selling artist.

Oh, I’m so sorry baby.

I’ve always been a fan of Ray.

If you don’t mind, can I shake hands with you?

I’m very touched.

Hey ...

You’re that dork from yesterday.

Why are you here?

When there's no music jobs, I'm doing janitorial work as part-time to earn some cash.

I ...

... always wanted to stand on the same stage as Ray.

So old fashioned.

Old fashioned?

Hmm, no ...

Not old fashioned.

If I'm top-grade caviar ...

... you'd be shark faeces.

How could faeces and caviar be on the same stage?

It's sickening just thinking about it.

No way ...

If your status doesn't meet your dreams, you better wake up ...

... and disappear.

Hey, you ugly woman.

What's wrong with people who want to achieve their dreams?

I don’t care if you’re the most popular singer.

A woman with an ugly character like yours is nothing to rejoice about.

Hey, how can you say that to Ray?

Let go of me.

Riku.

Listen here ...

If you don't fix that attitude of yours ...

... you're going to be lonely for the rest of your life.

I’m sincerely sorry.

Hey, Ray.

What a weird temper.

I’m not a bad person, please let me in.

I’ve seen you hovering behind Ray for quite some time now.

If you come back again, I’ll call the police.

I'm sorry.

Ah, they were really cool.

Freelance photographer Hamura Jiro

That dumb editor saying that if they’re not popular like Ray ...

... there’s no value in these photos.

What the hell.

No, this won’t do ...

... if I don’t get any explosive news, there will be nothing for me to eat.

Where is it?

Where do I get them?

Oh? Okay!

We have to stop the recording session and my clothes are ruined, what bad luck.

Who is it?

Jiro?

Asahi?

What are you doing here?

Well, that’s ...

Don’t tell me you’re here for the debut of your CD?

That's wonderful.

You always wanted to be an idol, right?

Well, yeah.

How about you, why are you here?

Don’t tell me you’re working as a paparazzi?

How can that be?

Me in a lowly job such as a paparazzi?

I’m aiming to win the Pulitzer Prize, you know.

Then what are you doing?

Right now ...

... I am keeping track of an influencial politician on the 1st floor of the pavilion.

Well then, I’m going off to work, bye.

Jiro ...

Kamonohatsu Ent Agency

Listen, Ray is Monkey Production’s number 1 star.

A huge star.

And you insulted that huge star.

If Sarukawa-shachou wanted to mess with you ...

... you'd be at the bottom of Tokyo Bay.

It was all Ray's fault.

That band guy was really appreciative of her.

That’s not the problem here.

Besides, what's up with that getup of yours?

What?

Didn’t the President say before?

If you’re out of the ‘business office’, you have to dress up as a male.

In the ‘business office’, you have to keep the male appearance from morning, 10am to evening, 6pm.

You are only allowed to dress as a female in your own room.

Can you bear having that wig on your head from dawn to dusk?

Kai ...

That's enough.

It's no use talking to an idiot.

Whip?

Why is she holding a whip?

Marilyn, turn her around for me.

There’s no use escaping.

Let go of me.

Listen up ... Ouch.

If you make Ray unhappy again ...

Ouch!

The consequences will not be as light as this.

Stop it.

More.

It hurts.

Don’t touch, you idiot.

Hinata will definitely not disobey the President.

That darn L President.

She's messing around with Marilyn ...

... and I can’t stand it anymore.

Pinch!

Stop that.

Freelance photogropher Jiro Hamura

As I thought, he’s working as a paparazzi.

What is that?

Your boyfriend?

That’s not it ...

He merely lives near my house.

He's been saying, "Marriage, marriage" since we were kids, really annoying.

Marriage?

Around 3 years ago.

Asahi ...

If I became a photographer and win the Pulitzer Prize ...

... will you marry me?

No.

Asahi will be Japan’s number one idol.

While I will be Japan’s number one photographer.

I already told you, I won’t marry you.

A couple together in the Entertainment Industry.

Didn’t I tell you that I won’t marry you?

I will do my best.

I won’t marry you.

Then Jiro left home saying he’s going to learn to become a photographer.

Then you’re going to get married, right?

Aren’t you?

I said I’m not.

An idol in a relationship is really tough and I want to be Music 10’s number 1.

It’s a Purupuru.

Feels good.

Hinata wanted this one but wasn't able to buy it.

Where did you buy it?

Well, I picked it up.

That time when we were chased by this weird man.

Weird man?

Like a snake.

A snake-like and scary guy.

Who is that?

Don’t tell me it’s those guys?

No way.

Hinata is scared.

Answer it.

Yes?

Hello.

Yeah, come on.

Just like that ~

Just like that ~

Sorry for calling you guys out suddenly like that.

I'm paying tonight, so everyone party hard.

That’s great, dance again.

Excuse me, what is this place?

Haven’t you heard of the Fast Club?

Don’t tell me it’s your first time here?

So cute.

Come on, it’s okay to touch.

Let go of me, idiot.

So cute.

Nooo ...

This is wonderful.

Your time is up.

Thank you very much.

Byebye, see you again.

It’s not bad isn’t it?

The theme’s "High School Girls".

Wearing school swimsuits during Physical Education.

And wearing aprons during Home Economics lessons.

Katsuyuki's a regular here, right?

Yes ~

But he has ten lovers and doesn’t come here often.

Ten?

What a horrible guy.

What?

No, let’s not talk about that, I want to thank you for yesterday.

Yesterday?

Ah yes, you protected Riku from getting punched.

Ah, that.

It was not like I wanted to protect him.

That time ...

Thank you very much for coming here especially for this.

No, something just came up in this area.

Is that so?

Come on, give me your best.

You have a death wish, don’t you?

That means it was just a coincidence?

I have nothing to say.

Well, forget about that, it’s already in the past.

Come on, drink up.

No thanks, we’re still underage.

What?

Then ...

... sing.

Sing?

You guys are singers, right?

Hey, everyone gather up.

The popular group Persona is going to sing for us.

Do you recognise these boys?

No we don’t.

Why must we sing in this place?

Hinata doesn't want to sing.

That’s Sunny Music’s successor ...

... we'd better not upset him.

Hurry up and sing.

Hurry up ~

Well then, listen to us.

Persona’s ...

Hey, wait a moment.

Now it’s time for the Homemaker theme.

Wait a moment, don’t ...

Don’t take it off ~

Please stop that.

No, I mean, stop doing that.

Persona, yahoo.

Persona~

Sexy dynamite.

What was that, that Katsuyuki guy.

Even though he saved me, but was just a coincidence.

Asking us to sing and yet he’s indulging himself with women.

As I’ve expected, men are the worst.

What are you doing up here?

Ah nothing, we should be getting back.

Aren't you a weird guy?

You’re really a weird guy.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Why must I be pushed against those women’s breasts like that?

Hinata has been rubbed against them too.

Let’s drink some water first.

Hinata too.

Ah, you can’t drink those.

It’s only water, don’t be stingy about it.

That's the ...

... Shochu on rock.

* Shochu - Alcoholic beverage of Japan

What do you mean by weird guy?

Normally ...

... people will always try to flatter me.

If I bring them to places like these, they will listen to whatever I say.

But you guys are different.

That’s nothing to be happy about.

Nothing, well ...

We’re men among men.

I have yet to have someone like that by my side.

That’s why I’ve been ...

... ordering those around me like idiots.

I’m the worst of them all.

It’s true that men are the worst.

But because of that, everything becomes interesting.

Interesting?

They are the worst like this, and surprisingly idiots.

But even if they are the worst, if you know the reason why they are like that ...

... you will know that they are a little interesting.

What was that?

Are you alright?

Geez.

Riku, you are really manly.

A small physique ...

... but your chest is surprisingly solid.

Your chest is surprisingly solid.

You pervert.

What was that?

Your face is really red.

Riku!

Pervert?

Kai, Kuu, let’s go back.

Kai-chan and ...

Kuu-nyaa are ...

... about to start.

We’re just about to start our happy time.

That’s right, Riku has to take it off too.

A glass of Shochu on rock coming up.

My head hurts.

Hinata’s about to die

We have to get up quickly ...

If the President finds out ...

Good morning.

Good morni...

Ah, it hurts.

I feel terrible.

It is nothing, we will change our clothes as soon as possible ... urk.

Stinks.

Seems like the three of you have been out partying?

W-h-i-p.

Attention.

Move right and turn.

Stick out your butts.

This will make you remember for a 100 years.

You’ve to be aware of an idol’s image.

You haven't learnt from the previous experience?

We’re going to Tohto Television Station.

We will definitely capture those two kids.

Also ...

We will also retrieve that thing back.

Right, here is the information for last week’s audition applications.

Thank you very much.

Even the Talent Scout businesses are having a tough time.

Having to search for talents among the failed applicants in auditions.

Let me tell you ...

There's no one you can use in there.

I don’t think so.

You can’t be sure that there won’t be an unexpected jackpot.

I don’t feel so good.

You idiot, we’re going to get whipped again if you do that.

I know, but I ...

Kai ...

I can’t take it anymore.

My head hurts and I feel like barfing.

Got a hangover?

R-ray-san.

Why are you here?

If you make Ray unhappy again ...

... the consequences will not be this light.

Erm ...

I am really sorry about the previous time we met.

I have no hard feelings and I was just casually saying what came to my mind.

No, I mean that ...

Kiss?

No way?

What are you doing?

Kiss ...

Part 2.

Persona’s first CD album cover.

In other words ...

Nude?

It's obvious that we'd expose our female identities.

Perfect isn’t it?

That guy.

That snake guy, why is he here?

Wait ...

There will always be scandals behind an artist’s back.

It will be a good opportunity for them to really understand the life of real men.

These two appear ...

'Take care' of them personally.

Mendol is a work of fiction.

Please look forward to it.