Original subtitles

Got all of that one.

Oh. Mints.

Ah.

Feet off.

Don't touch that.

Why do you always freak out

every time grammy and granddad visit?

I do not freak out. I'm not freaking out now.

It's just that your granddad is very particular

about the way he likes things done around here.

What time are they getting here?

Any minute.

Oh, and I know it would mean a lot

to your grandmother if you wore that t-shirt

that she bought you for your birthday.

Oh, unfortunately, it accidentally got mixed in

with the stuff we donated to goodwill, so...

Yeah, well, fortunately, I found it.

- And I pulled it out. - Oh.

Thank God.

Mack, there's this crazy old man outside

chopping down the bushes.

They're here.

- Ah, there you are! - Hey, grammy.

Oh.

Ah, come here. Give me some sugar.

You get more handsome every time I see you.

I love you in that shirt.

- Mommy. - Ah, my girl.

Oh.

What is daddy doing over there?

Oh. Jack!

Get over here and say hello to your grandson.

Hey, daddy.

Those vines are eating your camellias

like they were cake.

You gotta chop those things back.

- Understand? - Okay, daddy.

- Who's this? - This is Buzz.

I know who it is. I'm making a joke.

Oh.

Come here, boy.

- Oh, I'll get this. - Hey, granddad.

Hey, you caught all the fish in that lake,

or did you leave me some?

Oh, I left you a couple.

How are you doing, Marley?

Why is there no bacon?

A man can't have bacon with his pancakes?

How you feeling, man?

If you don't mind me saying so,

you seem a little grumpy this morning.

These hash browns suck.

Ugh. What's she doing in there?

Hey.

If the hash browns were a nice, golden, crispy brown,

would that make you feel better about the fact

that your girlfriend slept with a best-selling author?

No. But yelling at her might.

It hasn't for the last two weeks.

Where's Sarah? What are you doing?

Clearly, I have no idea.

This is the hardest thing I have ever done,

and I delivered a baby one time at a fair.

Yeah, that's cool. Where's Sarah?

I don't know. She left.

Well, when is she coming back?

No, like, left left, quit,

cleaned out her cabin and everything.

Announcements, announcements, announcements.

Tomorrow night, as some of you know,

is our annual harvest moon festival.

Yeah.

So... Hi.

Oh.

I think my dad would like to say a few words.

Ladies and gentlemen, please say a big hello

to the founder of Camp Little Otter,

Jack Jessup.

All: Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,

- Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack! - Thank you, thank you.

I come back every year for harvest moon festival,

because here, harvest moon is a celebration,

a reminder that the friends and memories

that you make here at Little Otter

will always warm your heart.

Have a great day, everybody.

Oh, Cole.

Could you pull the vines out of the camellias

up on my cabin?

They're driving my dad crazy.

Sure. Sounds like the perfect job

for an aimless, drifter hobo.

That's not what I said.

No.

But you said I needed to go figure out

what I wanted to do with my life.

- Same thing. - No, it's not.

And I was trying to give you some heartfelt advice.

Yeah, well, we were kissing, remember?

Yes, I remember.

But right now... And I say this

with utmost respect and admiration...

I would appreciate it if you could get

the damn vines out of my camellias.

Look at you.

I'm so proud of you, I could spit.

Don't move.

I wanna capture what you look like

on the last day of your virginity.

The end of innocence.

Dude, it was just a kiss.

It doesn't mean Marina wants to have sex with me.

Excuse me? That's all it means.

Listening to you talk about sex

is like watching a squirrel use the Internet.

Just 'cause a girl kisses you

doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you.

What do you know about sex?

Listening to you talk about sex

is like listening to a bossy squirrel

trying to make a porno, but she can't

because she's a virgin.

I forgot to mention that at the beginning.

Yeah, Buzz, just stop.

Look, you're a million times better than stupid Greg,

but there's still many ways you can screw this up.

Yeah, I know that, grace. Thank you for that.

Marina kissed you.

This should be the greatest day of your life.

But unfortunately, you're too busy being Wilma worry,

which is sad, which is why you look like this.

You're a terrible artist.

Then how did I capture your soul?

Here she comes. Go get her.

You really think she likes me?

Oh, my God, yes.

Although maybe not right this second,

since she's headed for Greg's cabin.

Why is she... I thought...

You're wise to be cautious.

Every woman is a rubik's cube.

Hey.

Um, Greg, there's...

There's kind of something I-I have to tell you.

Well, there's definitely something I need to tell you.

Uh, oh, okay. What's going on?

Oh.

Wow. What do you think?

- Those... those are... - Be honest.

No, no, no, they're... They're great.

You sure? Because...

I think I'm pregnant.

Camp 1x08- Haverst Moon - sync and corrected by Zac - - www.addic7ed.com -

What... what makes you think you're pregnant.

Are you sure? Maybe it's just gas.

It's not gas. I'm a week late.

Look, the only reason I'm telling you this

is because the general store doesn't sell pregnancy tests,

and I was wondering if you could

just give me a ride to the drugstore.

That's all I need. I ne... I need a ride,

a drugstore, and a test.

- Are you sure it's mine? - Yes, I'm sure it's yours.

Guess I should've used a rubber.

Look, can... Can you give me a ride or not?

Actually, I can't. I have to work.

I'm teaching, like, four classes today.

You're welcome to borrow my car.

I don't know how to drive.

Never mind.

I'll figure it out.

Buzz, I'd like to introduce you

to Terminator t-1 short arm thump'r.

Oh.

Those slippery bastards are gonna be so terrified,

they'd probably jump right in the boat.

Oh, good lord. They are jumping today.

That's not fish jumping, granddad.

It's Ridgefield.

Son of a bitch.

There's not even supposed to be a camp

on that side of the lake, much less a golf school.

I think it's just a driving range.

Hey! Whoa!

Damn it to hell!

Where are we going?

We're going to war, Buzz.

Hey, Kip.

- Can I ask you a favor? - Sure.

I saw you at boys town earlier. How's, uh... how's Greg doing?

Uh, yeah, he's... I don't know.

He's doing great. He just got cornrows.

Ah. Perfect.

Anyway, I needed to borrow his car

'cause I gotta run some errands.

Uhhuh.

And the thing is

I don't have a driver's license.

So I was wondering if maybe you could take me?

Sure, sure. But don't you have to work?

Oh, no, I have the day off. Do you?

Yeah, but it's not a problem. I'll just, uh...

I'll just switch shifts with somebody.

- You sure? - Of course.

Thank you, Kip. I really appreciate this.

No problem.

Hey, boys. How'd you do?

You know, Roger's built a driving range over there?

There are people there hitting golf balls into the lake.

Yeah, well, it's his property. He can do what he wants.

The lake is not his property,

and he does what he wants because you let him.

It's your job to stand up to him.

I do stand up to him, dad, but it's his side of the lake.

Darn it.

Dad, what are you trying to do?

Tying a bowline.

Buzz, help your granddad.

Hey.

I know how to tie a damn bowline!

It's like those vines.

You don't do something about 'em, problem's gonna get worse.

What would you like me to do, dad?

Chop him down with a hatchet?

Better than nothing.

There we go.

So where do you think Sarah went?

Don't know. Don't care.

Think she went back home or back to Stanford?

Huh?

Come on, you know her better than I do.

What's she into?

Having sex with best-selling authors.

John Grisham lives in Charlottesville.

Maybe that's where she went...

'Cause he's a best-selling author.

Come on, man. That's funny.

Not to me.

What the hell's going on in there?

Hey, what are you guys doing in here?

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure

I'm gonna need a tetanus shot.

Ridgefield's gone too far this time

with that stupid driving range,

so I decided to do something about it.

- Meaning? - Prank war.

I like the sound of that.

- What'd you have in mind? - Oh, nothing fancy.

Just burn it to the ground.

Ah. Great.

Are you guys open to any other ideas?

- This is it? - Yup.

Yikes.

Yo, wassup, wassup?

I know, like, three guitar chords.

Wanna hang out?

So where to?

Uh, the drugstore in Woodville.

I know it's, like, 70 Miles away.

I-is that okay?

Sure.

So what do you need at the drugstore?

Uh, I'm too embarrassed to tell you.

Oh. Say no more.

Lady products.

- What? - I don't know.

- Tampons... - Uh, no.

- Pads... - Oh, my God, no.

Just stop. Okay. Yeah, okay.

None of my business.

If I tell you, you have to promise me

you're not gonna talk about it or be weird.

Okay.

I need a pregnancy test.

Pregnancy...

Jeez.

Yeah.

Wow.

I'm sorry.

I know this is really weird,

and I wish you didn't have to know...

No, no, no, not at all, not at all, not at all.

Let's, um... Let's go to Woodville,

get you a pregnancy test.

That was...

That wasn't me making a statement.

I just, um...

There's a dumpster back there that I...

You good?

Okay, let's go, let's go. Yeah.

- You okay? - What?

Yeah. I love driving.

- Oh, no, no. - What?

No, no, no, no!

Okay, so, um... So here's the thing.

I don't actually have my driver's license.

What?

It's just... It's just a learner's permit.

Aw, here he comes. What do I do?

Just don't... Don't freak out.

Just act super confident. Okay.

You have a broken taillight.

License and registration, please.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, done and done.

- It's a learner's permit. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah. How about registration?

You got one of those? Of course.

Of course.

Marina, can you show the man our registration?

Um...

I can't find it.

Are you the owner of this car?

- No, sir. - Whose car is it?

- Uh, Greg's. - Who's Greg?

Uh...

Do you mind stepping out of the car?

- He has cancer. - What?

- Marina. - This is his last summer.

Yeah, it's true.

We're working at Camp Little Otter.

Yeah, that... That was one of his wishes.

Yeah, my make-a-wish grant just came through.

He's gonna throw out the first pitch

of the tigers game.

And then I get to meet Usher.

Lifelong dream, right before I die.

Okay, first of all, Usher's on tour in Asia right now.

I know that for a fact.

- You do? - Mm.

You guys, you say you work at camp Little Otter.

Do you know Robbie? Robbie?

Robbie Matthews? Mm.

Yeah, Robbie's my man.

Robbie and I went to high school together.

- Wha... - Yeah, a stand-up guy.

His mom doesn't wear any underwear.

Did you know that?

- I've never met her. - Yeah, no, I... no.

Tell you what, since you're both friends of Robbie,

I'll let you off with a warning this time.

He really does have cancer.

That part was true.

I'm, uh, sorry, man.

But look, you're breaking laws all over the place.

So the car's gotta stay here.

I'll give you a ride back to Little Otter if you need it.

Well, actually, we need a ride to the drugstore.

- Cancer medicine, huh? - Both: Yes.

When did you last talk to Steve?

I talk to him all the time. Why?

About your relationship?

What relationship? We're divorced.

For the moment. But you never know.

No, mom, I do know.

Now, can we talk about dad?

I just think he seems a little off.

Like, down at the dock,

he couldn't remember how to tie a bowline.

That's 'cause he's old,

and old people forget things.

I just... I don't think it would hurt

to have him see somebody, that's all.

Honey, your father is fine.

He's an odd bird, always was.

Honestly, I-I think you're still getting over your divorce.

You know, he and Steve were very close.

Oh, look. We just went in a circle.

Nicely done, mom.

I am not getting back together with Steve.

- He ch... - Do you ever go on dates?

As a matter of fact, if you must know,

I had a little get-together not too long ago.

Sex.

With whom?

Roger.

Seriously,

I used to be, I suspect, like a lot of you out there:

Aimless, yeah.

Adrift.

Okay, come on, guys. Let's go.

Let's go, guys. Come on. Come on.

Their eyes are so far apart.

How do they see in front of them?

Come on, come on.

Okay, I'm off.

Stay frosty.

Now, get. Come on.

Here we go. Ah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, stop.

Well, Rog, what did you do?

I mean, how did you turn it around?

I set goals. Specific goals.

And then, I visualize myself achieving those goals,

which is why I am

very, very proud to announce that in the fall of 2014,

a goal that I visualized a long time ago

will finally be realized.

Introducing Camp Ridgefield, Alaska.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hopefully we'll see you all there.

There's a goat in my room.

Um, remain calm. No one panic.

Try not to look them directly in the eye.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

That was so good. Shh.

- Okay, now. - Let's go, quick.

That was pretty nice, Jack.

- Come on. - Hey, Jack.

Sarah?

- You work here now? - Yeah.

- Mystery solved. - What are you guys doing here?

Prank war.

Did you get a job here, so you could be with Miguel?

No, Miguel's gone.

I got a job here to get away from you.

Awesome, okay.

So this seems like a longer conversation

than we have time for.

Um, Sarah, Robbie will call you,

or he'll be in touch.

Any chance you can point us away from security?

- Just go around the solarium. - Perfect.

Thanks, Sarah.

What's a solarium?

Finally.

- Thank you! - Yeah, thank you.

We really appreciate it. Oh, no problem.

Hey, good luck with the cancer.

Hey, look at me. Look at me.

You're gonna beat this thing.

Okay.

What a weird day.

Yeah, well, at least we're finally here.

Aw, no way.

They're closed?

Hi.

Can you open the door, please? It'll take two seconds.

Thank you.

I'm sorry. We're closed.

Please. It's an emergency.

Well, in that case...

Oh, that's right. We're closed.

Please.

Are you kidding me?

No.

There's a hotel down the road.

We can't afford that.

Yes, we can. I have $500.

- Where did you get that? - I won it playing darts.

Well?

God, I miss air conditioning.

How nice is it to not be hot?

I took a bath in a bathroom all by myself.

I feel like I haven't been clean in months.

Oh, my God. This bed is incredible.

Mmhmm.

Hmm.

I'll have a vodka tonic...

And whatever the lady likes.

- Chocolate... - Mm-hmm.

Obviously.

Just take it all.

Night, mom.

Night, dad. I'm glad you're here.

So am I, darling. So am I.

Did you talk to her about Steve?

Yeah.

It didn't do any good.

She's sleeping with Roger.

- What? - Mom!

What the hell's gotten into you?

Mom, what the hell? You promised.

What'd you expect? He's my husband.

- I'm so tired. - Me too.

- You want me to turn the TV off? - /If you want.

Two eggs, you crack them both into the bowl.

- Yeah. - With the flour...

I know we had that nice moment, you know, after the wedding?

And I know we're in bed together.

But... but right now,

I think I'm just happy lying next to you.

Is that okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

My... my hands are on top of the covers,

and that's where they're gonna stay.

Thanks for helping me today.

There's nothing I'd rather do.

I'm terrified.

Yeah, I know.

My mom was the same age as me when she got pregnant.

I can't believe I was so stupid.

Marina, it's...

It's gonna be okay.

Hi.

Oh! Whoa!

Daddy, are you okay?

He took Marley?

Bastard!

No one takes our mascot.

Looking good.

When did we start a prank war?

When exactly did that happen?

It wasn't me this time. Your dad started it.

Oh, of course he did. Listen, can you do me a favor?

Keep an eye on him.

He does anything weird, please tell me.

Well, he did want to burn Ridgefield to the ground.

Oh, that's normal.

He's been talking about doing that for years.

Are we good?

Yep.

Then it's time for phase two.

Aw, man.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

What...

Not this again. Robbie.

You guys go on without me.

Really?

Yeehaw!

Bye, Falcore.

Fun time's over, chucklehead.

Hey.

You really are gutless, you know that?

You can't just run from your mistakes.

Robbie, what do you want?

Why'd you do it?

- Because I wanted to. - That's really selfish.

Yeah. It was really unfair.

And if I hadn't caught you,

would you have just kept cheating on me?

I don't know.

I'm s... I'm sorry I hurt you.

But you're not sorry you did it.

Prank war?

You prank me, I prank you back.

Fun, isn't it?

Until someone steals your beautiful animal,

then it's not fun. Then it's a nightmare.

I'll find your horse, Roger.

- Was this Mack's idea? - No.

It was her dad's. It's not Mack's style.

A Mack expert. Wow.

Teach me about Mack, Cole. What do I need to know?

You don't need to know anything,

just that you don't have a chance with her.

Oh. What's this?

Sounds like someone's got a little crush on their boss.

Seems like you're the one with a thing for Mack.

Please. Have you told her yet?

'Cause I think it'd give her a huge ego boost

to know that a handyman thinks she's cute.

- Shut up, Roger. - No, seriously.

I think you should put on your best cargo shorts,

march on up to her cabin in your little flip-flops,

and tell her how you feel.

I think it's gonna work out great for you.

Like it did for you?

Good one.

By the way, it worked out great for me 'cause I hit that.

Classy.

By the way, she came back for seconds.

I'm done.

By the way, she's too much woman for you.

- See you later. - Oh, by the way,

if Falcore is not back in one hour,

I will pound you into a piece of paper.

Dad. Where have you been?

Are you okay?

Oh, God. Is this about the prank war?

Dad, you are too old

to be running around pranking Ridgefield.

Why'd you sleep with him?

That guy's terrible, Karen.

Karen?

I'm MacKenzie, your other daughter.

Mom, is he okay?

And you, running off with that Russian slut.

We treated you like family.

Okay, daddy. You must be tired.

Come on, let's go lie down.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

Whatever it is, Roger, it'll have to wait.

It's not you I'm here to see, Mack.

Jack.

Where in the hell's my horse?

Finally.

God.

They had your name.

Nobody move!

This is a robbery.

Hey, don't you move! I'm watching you.

Don't you move.

Wallet, please. Come on.

Thanks, and whatever else you got in your pockets.

Come on.

Whoa.

Check it out.

What are you, man? Drug dealer or something?

What you got there?

"Early pregnancy test."

Uh-oh.

- You pregnant? - Don't know.

That's why she bought the test, genius.

Hey, you need to wrap that thing, junior.

Hell, half the reason I'm standing here right now

is 'cause I got so many mouths to feed.

It's true. He's got, like, 12 kids.

It's not actually mine.

I mean, not if it exists.

- Who's the father? - Greg.

Then where the hell is Greg?

- This is his responsibility. - I know.

He... he's busy. He got cornrows.

Oh, wow.

- People are disappointing. - You got that right.

Hey.

You're a good dude.

He's a good guy.

I know.

He's a fantastic guy.

Well...

Good luck with that. Yeah.

Fingers crossed, huh?

Let's do this. Let's do this.

All right, ladies.

Empty the pockets. Let's go.

Dad, do you know where Falcore is?

What's Falcore?

Falcore is my horse, the one you stole.

- Uh... - Jack?

Go on, tell him where the horse is.

Come on, daddy. Tell Roger.

- I'm just... I'm thinking. - You're thinking.

So you don't remember?

- Roger, back off. - He... he just needs a second.

No, I'm not mad.

I'm just concerned about my horse.

He doesn't like the woods.

It's okay, Jack.

Um, I-I-I love animals.

I would never hurt an animal.

I just don't know where I put him!

- I'm sorry. - Dad, it's okay.

We'll find him.

You know what she said when I asked her

why she cheated on me?

Because she wanted to.

I mean, that was her answer.

I mean, can you... Whoa.

I'm telling you this because I'm your friend.

You're being a little bitch. She cheated on you, yes.

I understand. It sucks.

And you have every right to be angry.

But it's over, man.

Now, it's time to move forward, okay?

Because this isn't fun, not for you,

not for me, and certainly not for Sarah.

I've known that chick for a long time,

and believe me, she feels bad about what she did.

But that's it. That's how it ends, man.

You hear me? Move on.

Yeah, okay.

Good.

Let's go find this stupid horse.

He had, like, leaves in his hair,

and he thought I was my dad.

It was sad and scary.

Getting old looks like it sucks.

I can't wait to get old. I'm just gonna, like,

dress in my curtains and yell at people a lot.

How is that different from now?

Seriously, super bug?

You're gonna give me fashion advice?

Shh, shh.

See.

Told you the carrots were a good idea.

Buzz, listen to me. Don't do anything.

Don't look.

Whatever you're doing, don't do it.

What are you doing? Nothing.

Good.

Horses are prey animals. They spook easy.

We have to be patient and quiet and slow.

Who made you the horse whisperer?

I volunteered at an animal therapy clinic

for M.S. Patients.

Whoa.

That's really impressive.

We need to approach Falcore gently

from the side, not head-on.

Are you ready?

Buzz, are you kidding me?

He made me really nervous.

Plus, I drank a dr pepper right before we left.

Okay, you suck.

Falcore!

Here, boy!

He's not a dog.

I am so sorry about this, Roger.

I know how much you love that horse.

It's not your fault.

I think my dad might be losing his mind.

What if he has Alzheimer's?

What do I do?

Tell me. What do I do?

You know what to do.

You do everything you can.

You take him to the doctor. You support your mom.

You be patient with him. You love him.

And you tell him how much you love him every single day.

At least he's not going through this alone.

That's my greatest fear.

Look, all I'm trying to say, Mack, is...

Your dad's a lucky man...

'Cause he has you.

Thanks, Roger.

Oh, my God.

Falcore.

Falcore, Falcore, Falcore, Falcore.

Where did you find him?

Other side of the hill, near old man Fletcher's.

- He's fine. - Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

That bus was disgusting.

Why does public transportation have to be so public?

I don't know.

I'm hot.

I'm hungry.

My feet hurt.

Would you like me to carry you?

- Oh, was that sarcasm? - Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

Is there something on your mind?

No.

Why don't you just say it?

Say what?

Why'd I have unprotected sex with Greg?

Okay, yeah, why did you have unprotected sex with Greg?

Why did you have sex with Greg?

- You are such a jerk. - Well, why did you?

Because I make terrible decisions, okay?

And believe me, nobody regrets it

more than I do.

I'm an idiot, okay?

And you know what?

I want this over with.

I am sick of thinking about it.

What, you're gonna... You're gonna take it here?

Yup, right here, right now, behind this tree.

Wait, Marina. I'm sorry.

I love you!

What?

No matter what you do, whether you're pregnant or not,

I'll love you no matter what.

Even if you have the baby, and it... and it looks like

a little Greg with a little hat and everything,

I'm not going anywhere.

I'll stand here forever if I have to

because I love you

and I don't ever wanna be without you.

Ever.

Will you marry me?

Ii know that sounds crazy.

But would you? Consider it.

You are the best person

I've ever met.

Watch out for snakes.

- Has it been two minutes yet? - Yeah, I believe.

What does it say?

I don't know.

- I haven't looked at it yet. - Well, look at it.

Come on. Let's go home.

Couldn't have asked for a better night.

It's gonna be a nice, full moon.

Dad...

I think it's time to see a specialist.

What's wrong with you?

I know.

I love you, pop.

It can't be easy

running this place by yourself.

I know you're alone.

But no one would know.

I look around.

I see families having the best summer of their lives.

I'm proud of you, kiddo.

Thanks, dad.

We need more lanterns.

You can never have too many lanterns.

That's exactly right.

Hey, who wants ice cream?

Wow.

What do you want, Cole?

When's this thing in Alaska gonna open?

Next year. Why do you care?

I used to live in Alaska.

So what are you saying? You wanna work for me?

I know my way around. That's all.

Mack know about this?

Not yet.

All good things come to an end.

- I'll get us a blanket. - Okay.

You proposed to me today.

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I did.

That's a standing offer, by the way.

Just let me know when you're ready.

What makes you think I'd say yes?

I don't.

Oh, my God.

- What? - Greg's car.

I totally forgot.

We just left it. Oh, well.

You know how the harvest moon got its name?

How'd the harvest moon get its name?

Well, as you know, in the fall,

the days get shorter,

which, if you're a farmer, is a problem

because you need the light to harvest your crop.

And back in the day,

the tractors didn't have lights.

But luckily, their old friend the moon

started to turn up early

and provided them with that light.

And that's why it's called the harvest moon.

"Work moon" seems more appropriate.

"Hey, guys. It's quitting time."

"What do you say we all go grab a cold one?

"Wait a minute, the moon's popped up,

"and it's super bright.

"We can keep working.

Great. Thanks a lot, moon."