Original subtitles

Perfect time to get it'sa head start on the day, ing.

Especially for a 16-year-old who drove an atv into a lake.

That was a mistake, and I own that.

And I know this might sound weird,

but I think I've learned from it.

That's great.

Now, just think how much more you're gonna learn

after being grounded for a month.

Grounded? You can't ground me.

Trust me. I can do much worse than that.

You want to move back in with me?

That's bull... - Sheldon!

Hey, Mr. Greenwalt.

And don't think you're getting paid one penny

until Roger's atv is fixed.

Are you serious?

Dad would never pull such a commie move.

Keep telling me how much better your dad is.

Let's see how that goes.

You were drinking.

You stole an atv, and you drove it into a lake.

You're lucky I'm not sending you to military school.

Yeah, I'm so lucky.

Sarcasm noted. Now go clean out the showers!

Hey, everything okay?

Yeah, just wondering

what happened to my sweet little boy.

Want me to kick his ass for you?

Not yet, but I'll let you know.

Thought about what I said on the dock?

No. My plan was to pretend it never happened.

Just what every guy wants to hear.

Think about it. Take your time.

I'm not going anywhere.

Okay.

Favorite... album.

Wowee zowee.

By pavement? - Yeah.

I love that album.

It's so sloppy and weird.

Exactly.

Came out right before I graduated high school

and pretty much defined my summer.

You graduated high school in '95?

Yeah.

I was four.

Probably weren't listening to pavement yet, were you?

Admit it. I'm way too young for you.

21 is young.

Most girls your age are...

There's just nothing below the surface yet.

But you...

There's more in there.

You're thoughtful and confused...

And interesting.

And I loved your book.

I'm not gonna lie. That helps.

Crap. I'm late for work.

You want me to give you a lift?

No, I think I'll just swim back

and avoid someone seeing us together

and ruining my entire summer.

Where is my swimsuit?

Um, bottom of the stairs.

Well, well, if it isn't Sarah Brennen.

Someone's having a hard time staying away from Ridgefield.

Yeah, I-I just wanted... - No, no, no, no.

No need to pretend.

It's pretty obvious what's going on here.

You're sweaty, flushed, out of breath.

You've been using our facilities, haven't you?

Yeah. You caught me.

What do they have over at little otter?

One of those old-timey jiggly belts

and a medicine ball?

I got to go.

First you borrow my generator,

and now you're sneaking out of the fitness center.

Looks like somebody's reconsidering my job offer.

Don't feel guilty, Sarah.

The desire to trade up is what America was built on.

Good morning, little otter.

We've got a big day ahead of us.

For all you c.I.T.S, it's parents' weekend.

That's right, future counselors. Great.

Time to be on your best behavior.

But don't worry...

We've got a bunch of fun activities planned.

This morning a nature hike followed by movie night,

and tomorrow everyone's favorite...

Parents' choice.

This is nice.

Parents' weekend is happening

just as my urge to strangle buzz is peaking.

Maybe you'll find a parent willing to trade kids.

Hell, I'll swap you Gavin for buzz straight up.

Gavin? Which one's Gavin?

Do you and Dave have, like, 14 kids?

Let's just say you're in the ballpark.

I just don't get why you'd want to date a nerd.

For starters, they're loyal.

They have major earning potential.

And there's virtually zero chance

of getting an s.T.D.

You know we can hear you, right?

But Chloe makes some really good points.

We're clean as a whistle.

Listen, I'm not saying a guy needs to have

Ryan gosling potential.

But what if he turned into that?

Hey, kipmeister.

Hey, dad.

This is buzz.

It's nice to meet you, Mr. wampler.

Nice to meet you too, buzz.

Well...

I'm here reporting for duty.

Ready to go birding?

There have been snowy-owl sightings

around here... very exciting.

I'm a twitcher.

It's another word for birdwatcher.

Cool.

There she is.

Yeah, here I am.

Your parents coming?

Well, I've never met my dad,

so let's hope we're spared that surprise.

And my mom can't make it because she's in Vegas

with her body-builder boyfriend.

That's cool.

None of what I just said was cool.

My God.

Wow.

Somebody's mom's a train wreck.

That's my mom. - She is so pretty.

Mom, I thought you weren't coming.

Sweetie. - What's wrong?

Rick left us. - Mom, you'll be fine.

No, you don't understand, honey... we need Rick.

We have no place to live. We're homeless.

Why don't we go talk about this?

He threw us out like trash, marina...

Trash!

Sand castles? - Not now.

It's not as bad as it looks...

If I get a soldering iron.

Dude, don't make me say it.

Come on, the crack's not that big.

Yeah, but that and the piston...

You need a new engine.

A new engine will easily cost me 1,000 bucks.

I can't afford it. I don't have that kind of cash.

The bike needs to be working by the end of this summer.

I could maybe loan you 100 bucks.

Yeah, and I'd still need another 900.

Wow. Sarah's been training a lot lately.

Yeah, well, you know Sarah.

Once her mind's set on something,

she really goes for it.

With the women's lightweight powerlifting champ.

And then Rick has the nerve to say to me

that he needs someone who's in the life,

someone who gets him.

A year and a half we were together.

Do we have a plan, like... Like, where we're gonna live?

I put a lot of hard work into his career.

Rick was this close to a muscle milk contract.

See if we can stay with her for a little while.

No, we're keeping Lorraine out of this.

Okay, fine, but what are we gonna do?

First we're gonna Polish off the chablis.

Then we're gonna search the cabin

to see what your roomies have in the way of pills.

You two joining us

for the nature hike?

Big parents' weekend tradition.

Yeah, let's do that, mom.

Fresh air will do you good.

We'll be there in a second, mack.

Okay.

I got to tell you, hon... That sounds awful.

Hey, where did you get a Ridgefield shirt?

I have my ways. - Yeah? Well, they suck.

Ms. Granger... - It's just mack.

Whatever. Do you mind explaining

what happened to Zoe's hair?

Well, there was an incident.

I cut it.

I wanted a change.

You have international junior miss coming up.

She looks awful.

You're crazy. She looks beautiful.

Did I ask your opinion?

Who spawned that little hellion?

Not sure. Looks like he's from Ridgefield.

So how's camp?

Any crazy adventures you want to tell me about?

I don't know.

It's been pretty cool, I guess.

Mack says you've made all sorts of friends here.

Hey, marina, everything okay?

Totally great. Thanks.

I know that look.

That is the look of a guy in love.

Well, I do have that effect on him.

I'm Chloe, kip's girlfriend.

Girlfriend?

Well, hello, Chloe. Larry wampler.

It's nice to finally meet you, Mr. wampler.

I know it must have been such a hard year...

'Cause of the cancer.

And the mattress in our cabin is much too firm.

If you could bring over a feather-top...

Can I borrow her a sec? Sorry. Thanks.

Thank you. - Would've jumped in sooner,

but I had to give buzz a new shirt.

You're kind of my hero today.

It's all part of the master plan.

Strap on your packs, and let's get a move on!

Whoops. You okay?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I don't know why you chose to spend

your summer out here in the sticks.

It's better than oiling up Rick's pecs

at muscle man competitions.

I was supporting Rick.

It's what grown-ups do in relationships.

Whatever. This is a pattern.

You date these total losers

and become completely dependent on them,

and then they dump you, and we're homeless.

Rinse and repeat.

That is so untrue.

Seth, Teddy, lamar, Rico.

Hey, everybody, can I have your attention, please?

Looks like we had a little bit of company

out here on the trail.

Wants to tell all these fine folk

about what animal left these tracks?

Kip, what about you?

These look like they belong to the American badger,

which are common in this area.

I can barely keep kip from looking at his shoes,

and now he's giving the state of the union.

Who's that guy?

Four, which coyotes and foxes have.

That's Dave Coleman. He's amazing.

I mean, the kids love him. - Super long claws...

Well, he's worked a miracle with kip.

I can't get over how much he's changed.

He's like a different kid. - Yeah?

I just wish...

What? - Nothing.

You know, when you have a sick child,

everything about it is horrible,

but you do spend a lot of time together.

We watched every Tarantino movie ten times,

even from dusk till dawn.

Yeah, I just missed him.

You got a great kid.

They've been known to fight off coyotes, even bears.

Hey, thanks for earlier. - No problem.

Thought it was pretty cool you didn't rat out marina.

I probably should've. She's a total bitch.

Well, you didn't, and I totally respect that, Zoe.

Your mom's a little scary.

She's a monster.

And just so you know, she really doesn't like you.

Yeah...

But I'm starting to come around.

Well, okay.

Let's go.

Okay, here we are...

The Steele creek rock jump!

Okay, so any volunteers?

I'm collecting shoes and clothes.

You coming?

Whoa.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo! - Nice!

You ready?

I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

There could be rocks down there.

There's no need to take any extra chances.

It's fine.

I've made that jump over a hundred times.

Yeah.

We're good. Thanks.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Because I've never seen the three amigos?

Yeah, it reflects poorly on your character.

You're such a weirdo.

Hey...

I feel like I haven't seen you all week.

You haven't stayed over.

I know. Training sucks right now.

Coach wants me in the water, like, 24-7.

I've missed you.

I've missed you too.

Hey, look, that's the author the New York Tim calls

"kind of a pretentious dick, even for us."

But maybe I've misjudged our writer friend,

because the guy's obviously doing something right.

Back straight, supple wrist.

Tintin...

Didn't see your name on the tourney roster.

I got better things to do than play kids' games

with fat old men.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Walk it off, Phil.

Probably for the best.

Without Steve as a partner,

you really don't stand a chance, do you?

You know what? Maybe I will play.

All right, then, if I win, you owe me 1,000 bucks.

Whoa, big spender, and what do I get if I win...

$1,000 worth of friendship bracelets?

How about I work at Ridgefield for a week,

free of charge, any job you want?

And I do have some nasty jobs.

Then you got a bet.

Bring your rubber gloves, compadre.

Be prepared to sign a waiver.

Okay, I don't want to say that was a stupid bet,

but holy crap, was that a stupid bet.

If I beat Roger, I get my bike fixed.

I just need the right partner.

To be pissed off thatabout this, right

seeing as how my boyfriend's outside.

But running into you and your prom date really sucks.

Sarah... - No, just shove it.

And I'm talking to both of us.

This sucks, and it's gross.

And I'm sick of feeling like a bad person, okay?

It's over.

He's pretty quiet for a big guy.

Listen, you've got it all wrong. She's my agent.

Well, your agent's really pretty.

Yeah, she's not bad.

But the reason she's here is I sent her

a rough draft of my novel, and she loved it.

Really? That's great.

I know. It is.

My publisher wants to put all its resources behind it.

In fact, I'm moving back to New York Sunday

so we can discuss strategy and hit the ground running.

You're leaving?

I shouldn't have dropped that on you all at once.

No, it's fine. I'm excited for you, really.

Besides, we just broke up.

Is it called breaking up if you're having secret sex?

Sure, let's say yes.

I wish I didn't have to go.

Have dinner with me tomorrow night.

I'll order room service at the cabin.

We can have a bottle of wine

and say our good-byes.

I can't. - Just think about it.

You don't have to answer right now.

Do you want to leave first, or should I?

Make mine a double.

They're all doubles here, sweetie.

You know who's worse than kids?

Parents. - I hate other parents.

"Your son stabbed my daughter."

"Your daughter bit my son."

"There's prescription medicine missing."

We freak everybody out.

Black, white, Filipina daughter,

someone had the nerve to ask us how much grace cost.

If you paid under 50 grand for her, you got a sweet deal.

Is she good at math?

She did nothing but complain about Zoe's hair.

It grows back, you dummy!

And who orders a feather-top mattress for camp?

I love dark mack.

Popcorn!

Get your stale popcorn!

With lawry's seasoning salt.

I'm so happy to see you.

I've been looking forward to this all summer.

I'm happy to see you too, dad.

Look at you.

I send you off to camp.

You find yourself a girlfriend. You made friends.

I'm really liking it, kip, really liking it.

It's not that big a deal. - You, um...

Any questions come up in your exploits?

Need me to drop a little 411?

I don't understand your weird,

mangled hip-hop vernacular, dad.

Do you have any questions about sexual intercourse?

My God.

Hey, you don't want to get in trouble here.

Dad... - Things can happen.

Shut this down. Shut it down now.

All right. - Please.

All right.

Well, hello...

I got you a little something, kipmeister.

Brand-new clawvision 2000s with speed scope.

Thought you might try them out tomorrow night

when we go looking for the snowy owl.

Don't try pretending it's not cool.

You know who loves bird watching?

Jonathan franzen.

He even wrote about it in the new yorker.

When you pull the Jonathan franzen card.

Such a little wise guy.

So...

How you feeling, buddy?

Great.

Yeah, camp's been a lot of fun.

You know that's not what I mean.

Good.

Really, no, I'm... I'm good.

A musician? Very nice.

I've dated a few of those.

Being a contestant on the rock of love

doesn't count, mom.

You were on TV?

It was all a blur of booze, bandannas,

and hot tubs.

Okay.

Thanks for dropping by, Greg. I'll catch up with you later.

Really nice to meet you, Mrs. barker.

He's cute.

I really like his hat.

He's okay.

What do you mean? He was really nice.

I just don't know if it's...

Sometimes I think he's kind of an idiot.

They all are.

Do you want more wine? - Sure.

You know, today was really fun.

I still can't believe you were the first.

Well, maybe you inspired me a little.

You know, mom,

you don't need a guy in your life

to support you.

Yeah, I'd rather it just be the two of us

and we had less.

Really? - Yeah.

I mean, what if we went somewhere new and started over?

Where would we go?

I don't know... somewhere sunny.

Florida's sunny.

We could get an apartment by the beach...

Learn to surf.

What do you think?

Florida.

No Ridgefield t-shirt today? Because that was hilarious.

You will not break me.

I'm not trying to break you, buzz.

Then why are you punishing me four different ways

for one mistake?

I'm not that bad of a kid.

How about this?

You work two more shifts at toddler town today,

and we end the morning detail.

Really? - Do we have a deal?

Please tell me there is gluten-free bread

somewhere in this kitchen.

I swear to God, Zoe's mom is trying to ruin me.

You think Roger's in on it? - Mack...

I cheated on Robbie.

Does he know?

No.

Can I just ask you...

Do you wish Steve had never told you about the affair?

He didn't tell me.

I found a dirty pink thong in the back of our camry.

Do you wish you'd never found out?

I was married 17 years.

We have a kid.

It's completely different, but...

Knowing hurts.

And it changes everything, permanently.

Is it over with the writer?

It is the writer, right?

Yes, yeah. - Yeah.

It's over. - Really over?

Yes.

Then...

I guess it's about what you can live with.

There's a big dart tournament happening in town today,

and I really need a partner. And you want me?

Dude, you're crazy good at darts.

You're like a three-legged kitten with superpowers.

Okay. - Here's the deal.

I made a bet with Roger for $1,000.

So, if we win, I'll give you $200.

$400.

Done.

Have you seen my dad anywhere?

My mom and I were talking to him earlier

by the tetherball court.

Gross.

When's the last time you saw your mom?

We need to find them.

When did you see your dad last?

There's the big guy.

Ready to track down the snowy owl?

It's weird how many sightings there have been lately.

Listen, dad, something's come up.

Yeah? What's that?

There's this huge dart tournament in town,

and, um, Cole really needs a partner,

so I told him I'd play.

Yeah, I know.

It's bad timing, but, he really needs my help.

Well, I'd hate to disappoint Cole.

You're the one who wanted me to make new friends.

I just thought we could have our own adventure together...

You know, the two wampler men

in the wild.

Yeah, but I wanted us to jump at Steele creek,

but you didn't think that was a good idea.

That was different. - Whatever.

You keep talking about me having

all these great experiences at camp,

but you won't let me do anything...

Except bird watching, which totally sucks.

You're right.

I'll just go by myself.

There's my daughter over there.

I'll talk to you later.

This is bad.

Okay. Bye.

What were you doing?

It's about to get a lot worse. - What were they thinking?

I saw you with her. - What do you mean?

I can't believe you're... - Tell your slutty mom

not to believe a word he says.

I have got big news, honey.

Ken's offered me a job in Denver.

What?

He runs an architectural firm

that needs a new office secretary.

And guess who types 40 words a minute.

That's all it took...

Not being able to type very fast?

Well, I'm also charming and dependable,

but mainly, it was being in the right place

at the right time.

And wearing the right push-up bra.

12 hours ago, we were moving to Florida,

and now Ken, who's married,

rubs up against you in the bushes,

only inappropriate things happen with you.

Hey, I'm your mother! - Please!

You bought me mascara when I was eight years old.

You let me drink wine when I was 11.

So maybe I treated you a little older than your age.

You were mature.

I lost my virginity when I was 13!

Well...

I didn't know that.

It's not that surprising.

I have a slut for a mom.

Your nose is for sniffing, not picking.

Are you okay?

I think my dad just fooled around with marina's mom.

Yeah.

My dad cheated on my mom

with a Russian skin therapist.

And that doesn't bother you? - No, it totally sucks.

I was just trying to act cool to impress you.

Don't even try to be cool.

It's just not you.

But you are weirdly cute.

I farted.

Franklin, normally I'm a big fan

of that sort of thing, but now is not a good time.

Dude, find someone to cover you

and meet me at cabin 13 in 20.

What's doogie howser doing here?

I'm just here to take your money.

Aren't you precious, cupcake?

But I'm afraid you're not old enough

to ride this roller coaster.

You a little bit intimidated, Roger?

Maybe you're afraid of getting beat

by a teenager, rog.

You care to double the bet?

Bring it. - It's been brought.

This is close, man.

We got this.

Hey, where's Sarah?

She's got 50 bucks on this.

I don't know. Said she'd be here.

Couldn't let you leave without saying good-bye.

I'm glad you came.

And buzz didn't tell you where he was going?

He just asked me to look after the kids.

Ms. Granger!

We're leaving.

Don't you think that's a bit rash?

It's parents' choice.

And I choose to leave this godforsaken stink hole.

So, if you could please just tell me

where my daughter is.

You're beautiful. - I know.

What's the furthest you've ever gone with a girl?

My God, this is it.

Maybe.

Well, we're not done yet.

Sometimes they hang out in here.

Buzz! - Quick. Hide.

Buzz, what are you doing in here?

Just... reflecting. - On what...

The frailty of the human condition?

Get your ass back to toddler town.

Do you know where my daughter is?

I think she's at the boathouse.

Why don't we all go and check?

Okay.

Buzz, stand up.

What? - I said stand up.

Mom, I really don't think you want to do this.

Right now.

My God!

I'm sorry... I've been sitting on you

the whole time!

Yeah!

Looks like we have our final set.

It'll be Cole and kip versus our three-time champs,

the dart digglers!

How you feeling, man? You okay?

Yeah. I just need to use the bathroom.

Kid looks like he might poop his pants.

Worry about your own pants.

This really is too easy.

You sure you can spend two whole weeks away from mack

without your little puppy-dog heart breaking?

That's not gonna happen,

and sweep the floor with your hair plugs, Roger.

This right here

is all God, baby.

You are going down.

But on the bright side,

you may not be the only little otter

at Ridgefield if Sarah keeps using my gym.

Then why does she keep sneaking on my property, then?

I'd get over there if I were you.

Come to New York with me.

I can't.

But feel free to dedicate your book to me.

Let's discuss it in New York.

Finally. I'm starving.

You guys order room service?

Been saving that for a special occasion?

Robbie, it's... - Wow.

This is really top-shelf stuff.

You really went all out, Nicholas sparks...

Big night, banging someone else's girlfriend.

This isn't Sarah's fault. It's mine.

Shut up, douche bag. I don't care what you have to say.

Robbie, I'm so sorry. - I don't want to hear it.

Well, it looks like you two a-holes are set.

Have a great night.

Robbie!

Robbie, wait!

That night that we met him at the bar,

did you two know each other?

Yes.

But nothing had happened.

So when did it happen?

When? - A week ago.

But it's over. We were just saying good-bye.

Well, I don't want to know you anymore.

Yeah!

Looks like Webster's gonna have to hit 19,

18, and then a bull's-eye to win.

Good luck with that.

Don't listen to him.

I mean, try to hit those three numbers,

but don't think too much about it.

I feel sick. - That's just jitters.

Once this is done, I'm gonna sneak us a couple of beers,

and you'll be good to go. Come on.

There you go. There you go.

Yeah!

Yes!

Ha ha!

Daddy's got a brand-new engine!

Yeah!

Give me some skin! Give me some skin!

Whoo!

Boo-yah!

Kip, what's wrong?

I need my dad.

Don't forget me. - This goes in the front.

That one goes in the back.

I think you might have got the wrong impression.

That this is a sex camp?

No, I think that's been made pretty clear.

Your camp is an embarrassment.

And your son is out of control.

Okay, well, thanks for that feedback.

Safe travels.

What a bitch?

Why did you leave toddler town?

It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

You leave a bunch of five-year-olds

with some random c.I.T.,

and that's all you've got to say for yourself?

But, mom, it was... - Just stop talking.

I am so sick of all the dumb stuff

coming out of your mouth.

Obviously, I have to recalibrate

my expectations of you, since you chose to behave

like a complete idiot.

Hey, Larry, what's up?

Ii just got a call in the office.

What's happened? Tell me. - I don't know.

He's sick. He's in some bar.

What? - I have to go.

Okay, listen, it's gonna be fine.

I'll drive. - I'm coming.

I don't want Graham.

I want Dr. welter.

Because he's the best, that's why.

So that's who we're getting.

It's back.

I know it is.

Hey, you don't know anything, drama queen.

We'll just see when we get to the hospital.

What's going on?

Kip wampler collapsed in town.

Apparently he's in remission for cancer,

and it... it may have come back.

My God.

My God.

Is the sick boy your friend?

Let's go to the hospital, then.

Have you been vomiting?

Was there any blood in your vomit?

What's happening?

Is he okay? - We don't know.

What were you guys doing in a bar?

Ii needed a partner for the tournament.

H-he wasn't drinking.

It doesn't matter.

You're responsible for him,

just like I'm responsible for him.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize he was so sick.

The fact that I have to explain this to you

should make both of us think.

Is kip gonna be okay? - I don't know.

Mr. wampler, I'm sorry.

Kip said he wasn't feeling well, and I didn't listen...

Peter somers Peter somers to radiology.

The waiting's always the hardest part.

He's my best friend here.

You were right earlier.

I have set a bad example when it comes to men.

Why do you do that?

Like, you're so great, and a lot of these guys

don't even seem worth your time.

I don't know, because they're cute.

And for some reason, the worst ones

always seem to know the right thing to say.

I'm sorry I-I said the thing earlier.

I think I was just upset because...

I feel like I make the same mistakes you do.

Marina...

I have never been half as smart

or as confident as you are.

You are the best thing that I ever did.

And, you know, every kid makes mistakes.

But you're not gonna turn out like me.

You know, sometimes I think we pick the people

that we think we deserve.

You deserve someone really great.

Look at us.

Hospitals always get to me.

I need a soda. What about you?

My sister had leukemia when I was growing up.

God, really?

Yeah, it's not something I talk about very often.

It was more strange than anything.

Barely two years older than me and always sick...

Always in the hospital.

Were you two very close?

Yeah. I mean, we were kids.

I have done this trip to the hospital before.

I think about her every single day.

God.

Hey, hey.

He's gonna be fine.

Any word?

This is pretty scary.

The doctor should be here any second.

I don't know what's taking him so long.

Food poisoning.

Thank God.

He's gonna be fine.

Can we go see him? - Yes!

Go.

Ready?

I'm game if you are, kipmeister.

One...

Two...

Three!

My God! - That was awesome!

That was amazing.

You want to go again? - Hell, no.

We're alive, aren't we?

Yes, we are.