Original subtitles

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola...

E kasaan, Mum.

- Dele. - Surprise!

Oh, Dele, my baby boy. I've missed you

- so much. - I've missed you, too.

I don't understand. How did you get here?

- Abishola. - Mummy.

I see you have gained weight since the wedding.

Surprise.

- Where's Bob? - Still in bed.

Hmm. I'm surprised a company president

can sleep in on a weekday.

Bob works very hard, Mummy.

Of course he does.

Just not today, apparently.

Bob does not deserve to be spoken about this way.

And I do not deserve this tone.

Am I not

still your mother?

Yes, you are.

You are also insulting

my husband in our home,

and I will not have it.

How dare you speak to me this way.

I'm sure Abishola is sorry for what she said.

It is too late for apologies.

I will never speak to her again.

I am just worried that Abishola

will not be able to see how furious you are

if you are staying here.

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah

♪ Oh, my gosh, oh

♪ Oh, my gosh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, my gosh, oh...

This is way better than Benihana.[chuckles]

You know, as someone who can't cook or dance,

you're kind of showing me up right now.

It's a new dance I learned in Nigeria.

Come on, try it.

♪ Fine girls...

- Ready? - Okay.

Step, step, back, back.

Step, step, back, back. There you go.

Look, Ma, I'm dancing.

For the record, I'm dancing, too.

- Ah, ah, yes, yes. - Come on,

- let's see what you got. - DELE: Come on. Let me show you, let me show you.

Oh, yeah? I showed a lot to Dele.

♪ Summer...

- Ay! Ay! - Ay!

Something smells delicious.

We've got jollof, egusi and, of course, moi moi.

You made moi moi from scratch?

Just like Great-Granny.

Nobody can make it like her.

♪ Love no dey them face...

Mmm. You will make this every day until you leave.

Yes, Mum.

The best part is we didn't have to lift a finger.

Came home, he was already cooking.

What do you mean?

Your responsible young man

went and got all the ingredients by himself.

How did you get to the store?

I Ubered.

Uber?[music stops playing]

Uh-oh.

Who told you you could Uber?

I thought it would be okay.

I do it all the time in Nigeria.

And how did you pay for all of this?

With my credit card.

I did not give you a credit card.

Dad did.

Give me the card. Now.

Yes, Mum.

Hey, how did that go again?

It was forward, for... Okay.

["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola playing]

Dele does not need a credit card.

- He's a child. - TAYO: Ah, ah.

He is a young man.

And a man works for what he has in life.

It's not handed to him by his father.

He earned the card by getting good grades.

I monitor his spending.

This teaches him responsibility.

I teach him responsibility.

Not you. Not Uber.

And what does he learn taking the bus?

- That money is not everything. - TAYO: Ah.

And you believe that?

Of course not, but that is what we teach him.

Abishola, I never questioned your decisions

when you were raising Dele.

I am still raising him.

And I know what is best.

- And I don't? - Not if you're

- only going to spoil him. - TAYO: I am giving him

the lifestyle that he deserves.

No. You are buying his love

because you were gone for eight years.

I am doing what I think is best for my son.

What is best for our son is that we discuss

how we're going - to raise him together. - TAYO: Fine.

- Let's discuss it. - Okay.

No credit card.

[TV playing indistinctly]

Ebun.

I-I...

I have noticed that the thermostat

again has been moved above 85 degrees.

Which, before today, I did not know it could do.

I had no choice. It is freezing.

Uh, in the future, if you're uncomfortable,

you can simply move it a degree or two instead of 20.

What is this channel?

I wanted to watch my Nigerian movies,

so I had to upgrade your cable.

Oh, thank you.

I will await the charge.

Don't you need my password to do that?

"Tunde123."

You are so predictable.

[chuckles]: Yes, I am basic.

Just like my cable was.

I can no longer bear this.

She has turned our home into a rain forest with movie channels.

[whispering]: Keep your voice down.

She does not know I'm in here.

I do not want to point fingers,

but this situation is entirely your fault.

Because she is my sister?

And you refuse to stand up to her.

If she were my family,

I would tell her she was not welcome here.

No, you wouldn't.

I would.

Well, you know where she is. Go tell her.

[exhales]

But she's your sister.

[door opens]

That Dele's credit card?

Not anymore.

You talk to his dad?

Yes. He is deliberately undermining me.

That's terrible.

Can I say something?

Never mind.

No, I'm gonna say something.

What?

Well, put the scissors down.

I'm not saying you're wrong about this,

but you're not exactly right. Just about the credit card.

Everywhere else, you're batting a thousand.

He is not your son. You do not tell me how I should raise him.

But he is my stepson.

And while he's here living with us,

I feel like I should have a say.

Let's call it a step-say.

And what is your step-say?

Dele used that credit card

to go to the supermarket to buy food,

which he then cooked for us.

Do you have any idea what I would have done

with a credit - card at his age? - What?

I don't know. Off the top of my head,

I'm gonna say beer, a little weed,

maybe try to sneak into a strip club in Canada.

You must have been a horrible boy.

[chuckles]: No. I was a normal boy.

Your kid is a saint.

He's only here for a few more weeks,

so maybe you could lighten up on him.

So he can go to a strip club in Canada?

No! So he can make us breakfast.

I'm not talking about this anymore.

In fact, I'm not talking to you at all.

Come on, really?

You know, we're partners!

We're supposed to talk these things out!

I'm right. I'm so right.

Talking to myself, but I'm right.

So, Dele, what have you been doing

since you came to visit?

Mostly cooking.

Oh, like a hobby?

[chuckles]: No, it's more like a job.

To make extra money?

I'm not allowed to have money.

Sorry, we started eating.

Some of us couldn't wait.

It was you. You said "eat."

What are you, a stenographer?

That's okay.

You didn't miss anything. Just Christina

making Dele uncomfortable.

I'm sure it'll happen again.

Sorry to keep you waiting. Hey, who ate all the moi moi?

Me, me.

Honey, would you pass me that last piece?

Really? We're doing this?

Is everything okay?

Course it is. Dele's home,

and we're celebrating.

Right?

It doesn't seem like she's talking to you.

I see that.

- Did you mansplain something? - What's that?

If I explain it, then I'm just as bad as you are.

Did you run your mouth about Dele's credit card situation?

- Good guess. - Hey, I win!

Everybody stop talking and just eat.

So, Dele,

you gonna do anything else fun while you're here?

No.

[phone rings]

- Telemarketer? - Bob.

- You want to talk about it? - No.

Okay.

He's trying to tell me how to raise Dele.

Really? I thought he was smarter than that.

No. He's stupid.

Tayo is stupid.

Men are stupid.

Yes, Auntie Ebun, she's here.

Would you like to speak to her?

No, of course you don't.

I agree

with you, she's a terrible daughter.

[mouths]

Okay, Auntie.

Lovely speaking to you. Bye-bye.

Why are you doing this to me? Call your mother.

I tried to call, and she refuses to answer.

Huh. Interesting.

What is?

Nothing. Just noticing some parallels.

Nobody is paralleling.

Well, your mom's ignoring you

just like you're ignoring Bob.

- It is different. - How?

Because I am right and they are wrong.

Huh.

Is this a Nigerian thing or an Abishola thing?

It's a Nigerian thing.

[mouths]

[knock on door]

Come in.[door opens]

- Hey, what are you doing? - Homework.

Come on, I won't rat you out. What're you really doing?

Homework.

Oh, what have they done to you?

So, listen, I was thinking about running over to Costco

and buying one of those new Xboxes

and inviting some friends over to mess around with it.

You a gamer?

No. Which means I'll need somebody

to teach me.

Oh, I don't think my mom would like that.

Oh, she's gonna hate it.

Let's go.

[chuckles]

[elevator bell chimes]

[chuckles] Abishola!

- Hello. - Ah.

Auntie, Uncle. What are you doing here?

Oh, we just came to say hi. Hi.

You have never visited this hospital,

and you have never said "hi" in your life.

Cut to the chase.[exhales]

You have to apologize to your mother.

So you can move on.

And she can move out.

Did Mummy send you?

She did not. Unless driving us out of our home

is a form of sending.

I've tried to talk to her. She will not listen.

I know that. She was my horrible sister

long before she was your horrible mother.

I am not saying your mother is the reason we left Nigeria,

but your mother is the reason we left Nigeria.

And now

she is here, sucking the life from us.

UNCLE TUNDE: While we grow weaker,

her strength only increases,

like the temperature in our apartment.

I'm sorry, Auntie and Uncle.

I had no idea you were suffering like this.

Well, now you do.

Please, Abishola,

we took you in.

We gave you a home. We were there for you.

We are not saying you owe us.

But you owe us.

[weapons firing]

You're very good at this.

When you don't have kids, you get to stay a kid.

Little life advice from your Funcle Doug.

I am surprised

his mother is okay with him playing video games.

She's not. [exhales]

So, are you trying to get us all killed

or just the boy?

Dele's only here for a couple of weeks.

I don't want him locked in his room doing homework.

I want him to have some fun.

Good for you, Mr. Wheeler.

Sometimes you just have to stand your ground

as a man.[giggles]

Why are you giggling?

Because I live in your house,

and I hear how you stand your ground.

You do not understand.

I play the long game.

I pick my battles.

You may pick them, but you do not win them.

- Hey, Bob, come play. - Don't mind if I do.

I just got the power sword.

- Can you please not waste it? - Just give it to me.

You play video games with your dad?

- [chuckles]: - No way.

Then this'll be our thing.

[TV playing indistinctly] Who is it?

ABISHOLA: Mummy, it's Abishola.

[volume increases]

Mummy?

[door unlocks]

Don't get up. I have a key.

Ek'ale, Mummy.

I came to ask for your forgiveness.

I brought you dark chocolate, your favorite.

I should not have challenged you.

You are my mother, and you deserve

to be treated with respect.

I am foolish

and ungrateful.

You have come very far to spend time with me,

and I have not made you feel welcome.

I really wish you'd speak to me, Mummy.

I could use your guidance with my son.

[TV turns off]

What is going on with Dele?

Tayo gave him a credit card.

Take it away from him and destroy it.

- I did. - Good.

Tayo is very angry with me,

but I did not want him spoiling Dele.

These parents who want to be friends

and have fun with their children.

That is not how you were raised.

- No, it was not, Mummy. - Mm.

But do not worry.

I have seen you with Dele.

You are not his friend.

He does not have fun with you.

He's a good boy.

Because you have denied him everything,

just as I have denied you.

Bob thinks I'm - overreacting. - Oh,

what does Bob know? He is stupid like all men.

- Yes, Mummy. - Mm.

Get my bags. I am coming home.

My grandson needs me.

What a coincidence.

Your bags are right here.

[weapons firing]

Get him! Get him!

Kill the zombie!

- Stop yelling at me! - I got your back.

- Reload. - Thank you.

- What is going on here? - My homework is done.

He made me do this.

I thought you had my back.

- Go to your room, boy. - Yes, Granny.

I can understand you, you fools.

Okay, we should go.

Good night, everyone.

You bought him this video game?

Oh, good, you're talking to me.

How dare you go behind my back?

Hang on. I flew Dele 6,000 miles

to surprise you because you missed him.

And I know if he goes back to Nigeria

after a couple of miserable weeks here,

he'll never want to come back,

and you'll never forgive yourself.

You speak to my daughter this way?

As it turns out, I do.

I see.

Abishola, listen to your husband.

Excuse me, I had next game.

- Go home, Douglas. - You done with the pizza?

- Go home! - You're done.

I love you more than life,

and I know he's your son.

But I love him, too.

There's got to be a way

we work together.

You're right.

We'll find a way.

Thank you.

So, silent treatment's over?

It is over.

Can I get a hug?

Not yet.

I now understand

- why you sent for me. - You do?

You needed me to save your marriage.

You're a smart woman.

I am.

Now, where is your thermostat?

It is freezing in here.

Right this way.

- Yeah, mmm. - It's good, right?

- Dele, you're killing it. - Dele,

it is good that you know how to cook.

That way, your wife can never starve you.

- Mm. - Yes, Granny.

You should also get to know the smell of poisons

in case you marry a jealous woman.

Yes, Granny.

AUNTIE OLU: How lucky you are

to have your mother-in-law back under your roof.

I know we miss the never-ending stream of wisdom

spilling out of her mouth.

Knock off that smile.

I cannot.

DOTTIE: Woof!

I'm sweating off my Chattahoochee.

What's the thermostat

set to? Hell?

Yes.

[exhales] EBUNOLUWA: I would like

to make a toast.

To Bob, who saw the error

of Abishola's ways and did not hesitate

to correct them. Hear! Hear!

Yes. To Bob.

I'm screwed, aren't I?

[chuckles]: Oh, yes.