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Previously on
Bob Hearts Abishola...
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00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,005
KEMI:
So this is what we do.
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00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:06,528
Chukwuemeka and I get back together.
4
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:08,399
And you have your happy son.
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00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:10,880
- So happy.
- Mm. Then,
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00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,882
you and I will meet a series
of women
7
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:16,103
to see who is fit
to bear your grandchildren.
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00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,194
I can find no fault
with this arrangement.
9
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,326
Kemi,
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00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,849
we have chosen Morenike.
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00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,373
You are a sweet girl.
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00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:26,809
You came here to study.
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00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,071
Do not jeopardize that.
14
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,899
- What do you mean?
- This whole
15
00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:32,075
Chukwuemeka situation is
a lot more complicated
16
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,642
than they're telling you.
17
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:36,079
I just came to
pick up a few things.
18
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,908
Two Clif Bars
19
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:41,389
and strawberry-flavored
lubricant?
20
00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:43,260
There was a sale on Clif Bars.
21
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:44,740
What is going on?
22
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,786
You are starting
a new life, and so am I.
23
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,223
Hello, everybody.
24
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:50,441
Hello, Kemi.
25
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,790
This is Terrence.
26
00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:52,922
We work together
at the hospital.
27
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:54,358
How you doing?
28
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:55,664
Like your aftershave.
29
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:56,839
Smells like
strawberries.
30
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:04,020
Morning, morning,
morning!
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00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,631
Working, working, working.
32
00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,894
Look at this from Chukwuemeka.
33
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:12,811
This is his 16th text
this morning.
34
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,509
He also left four voice mails
35
00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:17,947
in which you could tell
he had been crying.
36
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,122
Poor Chukwuemeka.
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00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,123
I know.
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00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,690
[giggles]
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00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,953
Look. This one was
from his mother.
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00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,522
GLORIA: Whoa. You
got her in all caps.
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00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:30,655
- And she spelled "foul" wrong.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,180
How embarrassing.
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00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:35,356
Hmm. Terrence.
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00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,056
GLORIA:
Wait. Terrence
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00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,710
- from radiology?
- Yes.
46
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:43,755
I dipped my pen in company ink.
47
00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:47,759
Well, technically,
his pen in my ink. Ooh.
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00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,892
But I have hit it,
49
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:52,721
and now I will quit it.
50
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,723
[phone chimes]
51
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:57,117
Hmm. Morenike.
52
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,816
Hmm. The pretty girl
is desperate.
53
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:02,426
♪ Block!
54
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:05,647
You cannot get rid of me
that easy, Auntie.
55
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:08,563
Ten bucks on
the little one.
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00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,347
I will get my purse.
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00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:15,352
["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola
playing]
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00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:37,461
I thought it would be better
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00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,550
if we spoke privately
in my office.
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00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,031
Please,
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00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:43,511
pull up a tub of pickles.
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00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,780
Chukwuemeka is devastated
by your display at church.
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00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:53,912
Which I'm sure
was your intention.
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00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,479
It was.
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00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,699
And what is your plan now?
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00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,701
That he and I live
happily ever after
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00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,703
and you go away.
68
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,879
Take a pickle for the road.
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00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,011
I am not going to do that.
70
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,100
You don't like pickles?
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00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,233
If you succeed in
getting rid of me,
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00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:12,192
do you really think
that will be the end of it?
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00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,976
- Yes.
- So,
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00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:15,630
Chukwuemeka and his mother
will suddenly
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00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,675
not want him to have children?
76
00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,809
Yes.
77
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:23,942
Auntie, this will
always be a problem.
78
00:03:23,986 --> 00:03:25,335
Unless you
find someone
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00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,771
who will marry him,
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00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:28,643
provide him
with children,
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00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:31,602
and is still okay with him
having his Kemi on the side.
82
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:32,951
And that person is you?
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00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,083
Yes.
84
00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:35,693
Why would you agree to this?
85
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,129
Because my parents
will not be satisfied
86
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,609
until I am married
with children.
87
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:43,397
But men do not interest me.
88
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,531
I also find them boring,
but what are you going to do?
89
00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:51,274
Nothing... until I met you.
90
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,233
Then I realized
91
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:56,279
I could marry a man who gets
his companionship elsewhere.
92
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,499
Hmm. You are only saying that
because you have yet
93
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:03,286
to experience Chukwuemeka's
companionship.
94
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,594
Again,
that does not interest me.
95
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:09,031
Wait until you see him rise
out of the bathtub
96
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,555
like a sudsy phoenix.
97
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:14,558
I am not tempted by his bubbles.
98
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,299
- Because he's not your type?
- Yes.
99
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,996
- Because he is bald?
- Because he is a man.
100
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,520
- A tall man?
- Auntie.
101
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,044
I like women.
102
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:24,742
And apparently,
short, hairy men.
103
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,879
And Friday is a federal holiday,
104
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:33,490
which means, legally,
we cannot force people
105
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:36,885
to work, but I have other ways.
106
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:39,148
Just give the guys the day off.
107
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:42,325
Do not worry. They cannot
trace this back to you.
108
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:45,459
Listen to me, Goodwin.
No one's coming in on Friday.
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00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,591
That you know of.
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00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:50,115
All right, if there's nothing
else, let's have a good day.
111
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:51,943
Oh, uh, actually,
I-I have something.
112
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:53,815
Ugh.
Mom.
113
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,730
Sorry. Continue.
114
00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:57,732
I would like to discuss
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00:04:57,775 --> 00:05:00,517
increasing our social media
presence for the company.
116
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:01,736
Ugh.
117
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:05,000
- See? It just comes out.
- Yeah.
118
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,220
Research shows
that brand characters
119
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:12,007
on social media are as effective
today as Tony The Tiger
120
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:14,662
or the Pillsbury Doughboy
were on television.
121
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:15,967
I loved that Doughboy.
122
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,361
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
123
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,581
Well, then you are
gonna love this guy.
124
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:23,366
Meet Max.
He's an irreverent,
125
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,107
straight-shooting
compression sock
126
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:26,543
who loves nothing more than
127
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:29,416
to roast our competition
on Twitter.
128
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,462
[as Max]:
Hey, Sock Depot,
you're cutting your prices?
129
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:34,029
Try cutting your inventory,
130
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,987
'cause it's trash.
131
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,947
[both laugh]
132
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:41,079
[sighing]:Ah [sighing]:
Ah.
133
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:46,215
Christina, our customers
aren't exactly Internet savvy.
134
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:47,869
That is our demo.
135
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,871
Hey, I know the Internet.
136
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:52,874
Wait. Is Facebook Internet?
137
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:55,659
That idea is like a foot
in the other brands' sock.
138
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,226
[as Max]:
It stinks.
139
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:59,271
[Goodwin and Dottie laugh]
140
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,577
Very clever, Mr. Wheeler.
141
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:02,013
Nice shirt, Goodwin.
142
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,841
I heard of casual
Fridays, but not
143
00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:05,843
"What the hell are you
wearing Wednesdays." [laughs]
144
00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:08,629
- I will change my shirt.
- No.
145
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:10,979
No, it's just
part of the bit.
146
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:14,199
Ah. Very clever, Mr. Wheeler.
147
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:16,680
A compression sock
with attitude.
148
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:19,074
Now, that's an idea
that would work.
149
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,771
That's exactly what I said.
150
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,252
Honey, it can't always be
about you.
151
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:26,037
Now support your brother's
- nice idea.
- Yeah.
152
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,909
Listen to that looney broad.
153
00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:28,997
[laughs]
154
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,397
Hello.
155
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,094
Oh, hey, Kofo. Mm.
156
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,356
You were brilliant in there.
157
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,793
Where?
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00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:45,361
In the meeting.
Your sassy sock idea.
159
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,494
Oh, yeah, it was all right.
160
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,452
Bob made it better.
161
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,106
All he did was pull
a sock off your hand
162
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:52,586
and put it on his own.
163
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,718
Yeah, but his hand is bigger,
164
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:57,721
so his sock demanded
more respect.
165
00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,767
Christina, your
hand was perfect,
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00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:02,160
and your idea was perfect.
167
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,207
Christina?
168
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,688
Sorry. [laughs]
169
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,167
I am not used
to being validated,
170
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:10,473
so my brain just had to reboot.
171
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:11,648
[chuckles]
172
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,737
Mine does that
at the store
173
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:16,436
when they ask me,
"Paper or plastic?"
174
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:19,700
Do not let your family
treat you like that.
175
00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:23,312
I too have been marginalized
by a cousin I work with.
176
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:24,792
Oh. Goodwin?
177
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,707
I would rather not say.
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00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,491
Eventually I learned,
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00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:31,189
nothing would change unless
I stood up for myself.
180
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:35,629
Yeah, well, that takes
a very brave person.
181
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,674
You can be just as brave.
182
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:43,985
Oh, my.
183
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:51,645
Look at her Facebook page.
184
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,647
Not one picture with a boy.
185
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,866
Because Morenike is a good girl.
186
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:59,957
Or she's good with girls.
187
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:03,178
How could she be gay?
She's Nigerian.
188
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,702
I don't think you understand
how serious this is.
189
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,878
In Nigeria, it is illegal.
190
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:10,141
Oh, I see. It's outlawed.
191
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,013
That means it
doesn't exist.
192
00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:14,581
- Exactly.
- Well, I have
193
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:16,887
certainly never met
a gay Nigerian.
194
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:20,021
Because if anybody knew,
they'd be arrested.
195
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:23,590
[sighs]
Look, let's say for a minute,
196
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,330
you were gay in Nigeria.
197
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:27,071
But I'm not.
198
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:29,117
Hypothetically,
what would you do?
199
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,555
I would flee the country
to avoid prison, obviously.
200
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,339
You still need to hide it
from your family,
201
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,254
or you will be disowned.
202
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:39,867
So maybe as a cover, you'd
agree to a sham marriage
203
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:42,217
to a bald pharmacist
with a horrible mother
204
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,393
and a crazy girlfriend.
205
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,003
That could work.
206
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:47,614
There you go.
207
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,311
There what goes?
208
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,966
Really? She's gay!
209
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:59,147
[laughs]
Max is trolling
Dr. Scholl's.
210
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,323
- Ew. What is that?
- I said
211
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,847
Dr. Scholl's is diagnosing
skin conditions,
212
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,850
and now everybody's sending him
pictures of their rashes.
213
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,636
Ugh. That's disgusting.
Scroll down.
214
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,203
Have Max say you can get high
smoking their insoles.
215
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,814
[laughs]
Is that true?
216
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:17,252
Who cares?
It's all about the clicks, baby.
217
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,254
[knocking]
218
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:21,561
Good. You're all here.
219
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,608
May I address the family?
220
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,131
- Ugh.
- Douglas.
221
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:30,178
What? I was looking
at the rashes.
222
00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:31,832
I just wanted
to let you all know
223
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,051
that I'm not going
to be here tomorrow.
224
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,575
Another one
of your mental health days?
225
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:38,273
'‘Cause they're not
helping, honey.
226
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,405
I am taking the day
227
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,625
to explore new
employment opportunities
228
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,932
outside of MaxDot.
229
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,109
I feel
I am underappreciated here
230
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,632
and would like to find
231
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,895
a place that...
232
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:54,637
values me.
233
00:09:55,682 --> 00:10:00,817
Honey, you are very important
to this company.
234
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:02,819
You're an essential part
of this team.
235
00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:04,429
You do so much for us.
236
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,083
Like what?
237
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,694
Huh?
238
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,913
What do I do
for the company, Bob?
239
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:10,871
Lots.
240
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,612
Right, Mom?
241
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,048
She asked you.
242
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:15,615
Douglas?
243
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,617
I have no idea.
244
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:21,142
This is great feedback. Thanks.
245
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,578
Come on.
246
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,232
What do you really want here?
247
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,277
To be seen and heard.
248
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,584
I can't do that.
249
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,673
But I can do a new title.
250
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:33,241
Mom, you can't just
throw money at this problem.
251
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,635
I didn't say money.
I said title.
252
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,204
[door opens]
253
00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:42,032
E kaale.
254
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:44,861
-E kaale, Abishola.
- We are about
to take a pound cake
255
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,384
to the new tenant in 206.
256
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:48,691
Do you remember what
I always told you?
257
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,911
Ugh. Be nice to the
neighbors when they move in,
258
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,609
and they will supply you
with gossip for many years.
259
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,394
[laughs]
If we feed him enough cake,
260
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:59,049
he will sing like a chubby bird.
261
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,443
[chuckling]
262
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,663
May I get you some tea, Auntie?
263
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,708
Ah. No, thank you.
264
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,189
Um, please, sit with me.
265
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:12,367
Auntie Olu told me you
joined the church choir.
266
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:16,240
Oh, yes. The pastor said I sang
"Joyful, Joyful" so well,
267
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:17,720
he wept into his stew.
268
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,809
Oh. That's wonderful.
269
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,811
You know, it's important
to have the support
270
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:24,422
of the community when you
- first move to this country.
- Yes.
271
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,163
I am so thankful for it.
272
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,688
Then you should
be very careful.
273
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,298
Regarding?
274
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:33,040
I know you are...
275
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,172
[whispering]:
gay.
276
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,741
Don't worry. I will
not tell anyone.
277
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:41,222
- I would appreciate that.
- Mm-hmm.
278
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:44,312
I think you are smart with this
whole Chukwuemeka arrangement.
279
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,357
It is the best way
to protect yourself.
280
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:48,142
Yes, Auntie.
281
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:51,754
Ah. You know how traditional
Nigerians can be.
282
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,800
It is better to
keep it secret.
283
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:56,324
You think it is best
I stay in the closet?
284
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,326
Closets are very safe places.
285
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,807
It is where I would hide
if there was an intruder
286
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:03,723
or-or a tornado.
287
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:06,682
- Yes, Auntie.
- Mm.
288
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,770
You remember Uncle Mobo?
289
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,685
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm. At first,
290
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,556
people suspected
he was like you.
291
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,864
Then he got married, and
all the rumors stopped.
292
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:18,694
Soon, he had a good job
and six wonderful children.
293
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,696
- Was he happy?
- Who knows?
294
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,959
Every time I saw
him, he was drunk.
295
00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:27,398
But he was a well-respected
family man.
296
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:29,966
And that is what
is important.
297
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:32,186
- Yes, Auntie.
- Mm.
298
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,492
So, how is school going?
299
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:37,147
I got a "B" in chemistry.
300
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,369
Maybe that should also
stay in the closet.
301
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:55,035
It is so nice
to have everyone here together.
302
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:57,254
Is it?
I still do not understand
303
00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:59,996
why she needs
to be a part of this.
304
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,737
It's not important
that you understand.
305
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,609
It's important
that I am a part of this.
306
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,264
I would like to make a toast.
307
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:10,311
To my Mumzy Wumzy.
308
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:12,966
To my Kemi Bear.
309
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,098
And to...
310
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,231
...you.
311
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:18,623
Morenike.
312
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,190
I know.
313
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,627
Thanks to you,
I will soon have
314
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,804
more grandchildren
than my sister.
315
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,022
How many does she have?
316
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,241
Only seven.
317
00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:29,417
Only.
318
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:30,853
Oh. Okay.
319
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:33,247
Eh. Cheers.
320
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,857
- KEMI: Cheers.
- OGECHI: I pray
321
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,772
that the children have
your beautiful hair.
322
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,775
And my son's
perfect cheekbones.
323
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,864
And my eyes.
324
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,344
I do not think
that is possible.
325
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,259
You never know.
326
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,348
Maybe I could stare at your
belly while you are pregnant.
327
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,045
- Huh.
- OGECHI:
I will name
328
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:51,134
the firstborn, obviously.
329
00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:53,528
If it is a boy, Chidi.
330
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:54,616
Hmm.
331
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,357
If it is a girl, Ngozi.
332
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,534
I've always
liked Connor.
333
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:03,886
Chidi Connor Chukwuemeka.
334
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,409
- It has a nice ring.
- Mm.
335
00:14:05,453 --> 00:14:07,150
What do you
think, Morenike?
336
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:11,415
I cannot do this.
337
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:15,071
Well... it doesn't
have to be Connor!
338
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:18,292
I also like Chad!
339
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:23,950
What exactly did you say to her?
340
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,560
Huh. The truth.
341
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,867
That if she wants
to be happy, she should
342
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,781
never let anyone
find out who she is.
343
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:31,479
That is excellent advice.
344
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:33,873
Why would she not
listen to that?
345
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,918
Hi, Kemi.
Can I offer you a drink?
346
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,920
Can you not see we are talking?
347
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:42,098
But, yes, a mochaccino with
almond milk and a little nutmeg.
348
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,143
Really?
349
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,057
Yes, really.
350
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,103
Without Morenike,
351
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,670
I will have
to do the impossible
352
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:50,498
and find another
Nigerian lesbian.
353
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:53,153
Ugh. And they do
not grow on trees.
354
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:56,156
What's this now?
Morenike's gay?
355
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,419
Focus on my coffee, Bob.
356
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,595
Hang on. I mean, if she's gay,
357
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,902
why was she involved
with Chukwuemeka at all?
358
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:04,555
To make her
family happy.
359
00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:05,774
And more importantly,
360
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,515
me happy.
361
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:08,995
If you ask me,
if she doesn't want
362
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:10,561
to get married,
that's her choice.
363
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:13,521
No one's asking you
for anything but coffee.
364
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,958
I'm just saying,
you got divorced,
365
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:18,134
you married a white
American dude.
366
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,310
You didn't play
by anyone else's rules.
367
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,008
You were true
to yourself, always.
368
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:23,835
This situation
is different, Bob.
369
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,315
What about you?
370
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:28,362
You date who you want,
you say what you think,
371
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:29,711
you show up at somebody's house
372
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,365
demanding a mocha-freakin'-ccino.
373
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:35,064
Which, clearly,
I will never get.
374
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,587
You're both strong women
375
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,154
who live your lives
on your own terms.
376
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:40,243
Now, if you can do it,
why not Morenike?
377
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:42,985
Because she's a Nigerian gay.
378
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:45,161
- And she's the only one.
- BOB:
Oh, come on.
379
00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:46,206
That can't be...
380
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,338
She's the only one!
381
00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:59,523
What the hell is that?
382
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:00,916
CHRISTINA:
My resignation letter.
383
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,439
You want to talk about it?
384
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:04,615
God, no. That's why
I wrote you the letter.
385
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,577
Come in here.
386
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,319
God. Can we not make
a big thing out of this?
387
00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:15,931
It is a big thing. You're
quitting the family business.
388
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:21,023
No, I am exploring new
and exciting opportunities.
389
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,198
What opportunities?
390
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,635
I don't know yet.
391
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,768
But I know they are new
and exciting.
392
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:30,685
Well, maybe just stay on
until you figure it out.
393
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,992
[sighs]
Let's be honest.
394
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,559
I don't think
I'll ever figure it out.
395
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:40,434
And if I don't leave now,
I-I don't think I ever will.
396
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:43,437
Well...
397
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,569
then you got to go.
398
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,790
You're accepting
my letter of resignation?
399
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:52,228
No. I'm accepting your
400
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:55,405
"exploration of new
and exciting opportunities."
401
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,364
Thanks, Bob.
402
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:03,065
This feels good.
403
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,936
And really, really scary.
404
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,547
You're gonna do great.
405
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:08,549
Thanks.
406
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,899
I'm gonna go tell Mom.
407
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,988
Okay.
408
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:20,213
[sighs]
409
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:23,607
DOTTIE:
Are you insane?!
You'll die out there!
410
00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:35,706
Hello, Morenike. Kaasan.
411
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,230
Hello, Aunties.
412
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:39,232
I threatened you.
413
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,843
- What?
- This is your cover story.
414
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:45,107
I threatened you, and this is
why you left our arrangement.
415
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,109
There were no other
personal reasons.
416
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:51,026
No need to mention
your... lesbian-ity.
417
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,725
Although, it is your life,
and if you feel like you must...
418
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:55,987
I am not ready for that.
419
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,989
Oh, thank God.
420
00:17:58,033 --> 00:18:00,992
Whatever happens,
we are on your side.
421
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,516
Even if we do not
understand it.
422
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:06,215
Which we don't
and never will.
423
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,697
Thank you, Aunties.
424
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:18,184
I mean, I know
how it works.
425
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:20,186
I went to an
all-girls school.
426
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:23,058
After lights out, we
would fumble in the dark.
427
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,060
- Kemi!
- Relax!
428
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,541
We were preparing
ourselves for men.
429
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:34,896
BOB:
I don't know if you guys know
430
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,115
what's been going on.
431
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,507
Christina has left,
432
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:38,552
and her position has
433
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,031
become available.
434
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:42,077
We all got her beautiful
resignation letter.
435
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,210
Several people
were inconsolable.
436
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,472
Just one people.
437
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:47,691
Of course,
438
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:50,477
now you will need to replace
her with someone qualified,
439
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,610
who has great knowledge of
the workings of the company.
440
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,003
That's exactly right.
441
00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:56,700
I usually am.
442
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:58,180
Congratulations, Kofo.
443
00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,355
Excuse me?
444
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:01,227
Mr. Wheeler, you said "Kofo."
445
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,751
My name is Goodwin.
446
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:08,059
I know, but Kofo came up
with the outlet store idea.
447
00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,236
Plus, he worked with
Christina rebranding
448
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,543
our socks, and she left him
a glowing recommendation.
449
00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:15,545
That was very lovely of her.
450
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,156
You want Kofo?
451
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:19,419
The Kofo that sleeps
in my garage?
452
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:21,464
Yes, Goodwin.
453
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:24,075
We need you down on the floor.
You're our guy.
454
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:25,686
Your floor guy.
455
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:26,817
Exactly.
456
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:28,428
And Kofo is your
457
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,299
office-with-a-view-
of-the-parking-lot guy?
458
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,693
You can also see
the Petco.
459
00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:38,133
Well, there is nothing
for me to say, but
460
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:41,441
congratulations,
and I quit.
461
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:42,964
Goodwin, wait.
462
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,227
Good luck.
463
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,750
Now I feel terrible.
464
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,448
[door closes]
I do, too.
465
00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:51,494
Thank you so much
for this opportunity.
466
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:58,849
I have reconsidered.
467
00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:02,070
I just remember, I have a child
in private school.
468
00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:03,593
Welcome back, Cousin.
32433
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