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Previously on
Bob Hearts Abishola...
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00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,266
KEMI:
So this is what we do:
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00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:07,007
Chukwuemeka and I get
back together,
4
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,617
and you have your happy son.
5
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,053
So happy.
6
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:13,448
Then, you and I will need
to see the women
7
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:16,538
to see who is fit
to bear your grandchildren.
8
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,453
- Wait, what?
- Shh.
9
00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:22,152
Why would you get any say in
who this new woman should be?
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00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:23,893
The same reason you get a say.
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00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:25,112
I am his mother.
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00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:26,678
And I am his Kemi.
13
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:27,766
Do I get a say?
14
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:33,511
So, what do you think, Auntie?
15
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:38,299
I can find no fault
with this arrangement.
16
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,953
Oh, we have not met.
17
00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:43,173
- I am Chukwuemeka.
- This is Morenike.
18
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,349
A cousin of Abishola staying
with her family.
19
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,047
It is wonderful to meet you.
20
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,396
You as well.
21
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,137
- Are you as student?
- Yes.
22
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,486
At Wayne State.
23
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,140
I went to Wayne State.
24
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:54,924
I'm studying to become
a pharmacist.
25
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:57,100
Uh-uh, you are kidding.
26
00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,275
I am a pharmacist.
27
00:00:58,319 --> 00:00:59,624
It must be fate that we met.
28
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,365
[chuckles]:
Yes.
29
00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:04,542
What are the odds you'd meet
another failed doctor?
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00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:10,026
My little Puff Puff,
I need your magic hands.
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00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,202
There's a knot in my neck.
32
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:14,813
I would worry more about
that hump on your back.
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00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:17,599
Oh. Hello, Auntie.
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00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:20,515
I thought I felt the temperature
drop a few degrees.
35
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,560
I tried to tell you
Mummy was here,
36
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:25,085
but you were singing Tina Turner
so loud.
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00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:28,088
Because that is the only way
to sing Tina Turner.
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00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:31,874
I thought you had Bible study.
What happened?
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00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,702
Did you finish the book?
40
00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:36,748
Tonight I will be doing
God's work here.
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00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,924
Then I will let you two
and God get to it.
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00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,536
We have chosen
who will be
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00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,973
the mother of Chukwuemeka's
children.
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00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:48,369
I thought we decided
we'd make that choice together.
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00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,110
I thought that, too,
but you seem
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00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:52,982
to find a flaw
in everyone I suggest.
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00:01:53,025 --> 00:01:54,897
I did not realize you wanted
your son to settle
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00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:55,941
for someone less than perfect.
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00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,900
He already has.
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00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:00,207
Oh, it's not his fault, a boy
cannot choose his own mother.
51
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,252
[groans] Stop fighting.
52
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:04,298
Please sit. Please sit.
53
00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:09,216
Kemi, my love,
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00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,479
I know you want
what is best for me.
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00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:13,481
Mm-hmm.
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00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:16,223
So please do not be angry
straightaway.
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00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,573
At least give it
a chance.
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00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,096
This girl is from
a prestigious family.
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00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,097
She is studious,
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00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,186
devoutly religious.
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00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,796
And, most importantly, does not
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00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,582
have any sons
the same age as Chukwuemeka.
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00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,932
Funmbi is six months younger!
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00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:32,587
Kemi, we have chosen Morenike.
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00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,371
Abishola's cousin.
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00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:38,027
Oh. I see.
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00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,421
And have you spoken to her
about this?
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00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:43,293
Not yet, we were going to
bring it up in church.
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00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,948
Well, that's good.
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00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,906
I'm so happy she's going again.
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00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:51,606
She was angry with God
for such a long time.
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00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:52,694
What are you talking about?
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00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,523
Oh, she didn't tell you?
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00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:56,654
I shouldn't say anything.
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00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,700
Why was she angry with God?
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00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,659
Well, you didn't
hear this from me,
77
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:04,184
but she has been married before.
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00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,969
To the Dark Prince.
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00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,840
The Fallen Angel.
80
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,321
Satan!
81
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:13,802
Nonsense.
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00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:14,846
May God strike me down
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00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,718
if I am lying.
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00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:19,634
There you go.
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00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:22,550
["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola
playing]
86
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,487
You're still here?
87
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,836
Everybody's gone for the day.
88
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,490
I hate bringing work
home with me.
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00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,361
I'll sleep a lot better
knowing this is done.
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00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:54,103
You know, when you got demoted
to the warehouse floor,
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00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,191
I didn't think
your ego could take it,
92
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,497
but I was wrong.
93
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,107
Sometimes people
surprise you, Bob.
94
00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,456
Hmm.
95
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:00,892
Anyway, for my next company car,
should I
96
00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,938
go Camaro SS
or stick with a Corvette?
97
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,593
This is what
you've been working on?
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00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,203
For two days.
99
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,205
I'm so stressed,
I almost called in sick.
100
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,207
Let me help you.
101
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,035
You're not getting
a new company car.
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00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,384
So we're extending the lease
103
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:16,212
- on the one I've got now?
- No.
104
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,083
- We're buying it out?
- No.
105
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:19,607
I don't see any other option.
106
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,435
You're not management anymore.
107
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:22,914
If I get you a company car,
108
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,089
I'm gonna have to get one
for everybody.
109
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:26,222
That's really generous of you.
110
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,963
It's not happening, bud.
111
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:30,444
Look, I get it.
112
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,968
As my boss, you can't be seen
giving me special treatment.
113
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,186
Exactly.
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00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:35,405
But as my big brother...
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00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:37,451
As your big brother,
no car, idiot.
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00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,149
You struck an employee!
117
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:44,022
I'm telling Mom!
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00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:49,898
Abishola.
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00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,726
What is the medical term
for webbed feet?
120
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:52,770
Syndactyly.
121
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,337
Thank you.
122
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,730
What are you doing?
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00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:58,472
I'm creating
a fake Wikipedia page
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00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,038
about Morenike's family.
125
00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,910
They are a sickly bunch.
126
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:04,086
I am part of Morenike's family.
127
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:07,394
Oh, good.
I can put "gigantism" in there.
128
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,831
Why are you doing all this?
129
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,398
I have to convince Ogechi
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00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:13,661
that Chukwuemeka is marrying
a genetic dud.
131
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,053
I think that is a terrible idea.
132
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,446
What choice do I have?
133
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,448
I am fighting for
the love of my life.
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00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:19,797
By spreading lies
on the Internet?
135
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,712
What else is the Internet for?
136
00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:25,281
Boy, the things that go on
under that wig.
137
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,849
I am sorry, Gloria,
but I am desperate.
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00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,764
And if either of you
cared about me at all,
139
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:32,680
you would give me the medical
term for overly large ears.
140
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:33,724
Macrotia.
141
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,160
Thank you.[typing]
142
00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:37,641
I will pair that
with "tiny head disease."
143
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:38,947
Microcephaly.
144
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,731
Stop helping her![typing]
145
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,521
Hold still.
146
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:48,609
It stings.
147
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,306
Do not be such a baby.
148
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,787
Last week, someone on the floor
lost a finger.
149
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,571
I did not hear about that.
150
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:57,357
And as long as I am safety
manager, no one ever will.
151
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,316
Just got my paycheck.
152
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,317
I don't know
how you guys do it.
153
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,710
Do what?
154
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:06,148
You know, live on,
you know, this.
155
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,063
You have to be frugal.
156
00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:11,196
I don't know what that is.
157
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,981
It is very simple.
158
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,984
In life, there are things
that you need to survive,
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00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:18,073
and things that bring you joy.
160
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:20,075
Remove all joy.
161
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,903
Then what's the point of living?
162
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:24,427
I do not recommend asking
yourself that question.
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00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:27,343
You do not need to buy joy,
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00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,475
it is everywhere.
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00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:29,998
A quiet sunrise,
166
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,521
a warm summer breeze,
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00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:34,002
a discarded joke book
you find on the sidewalk.
168
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,438
You found that book
on the sidewalk?
169
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,266
I think it found me.
170
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,487
Look, it's easy
for you guys to say,
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00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:43,490
you were born into... frugacity?
172
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,622
Fru... frugaliciousness?
173
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:46,710
GOODWIN:
Frugality.
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00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,146
And I grew up with money.
175
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,757
My father was a judge.
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00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,845
Really?
177
00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:52,934
What happened?
178
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,502
I decided to forgo
my father's wealth
179
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:58,287
and come to this country
to make my own way.
180
00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,420
[sighs] Whoops.
181
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,378
I support my family,
182
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,510
I own my own home,
183
00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:05,512
and I enjoy my work.
184
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:06,687
What else is there?
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00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,820
So much, you have no idea.
186
00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:13,433
You made the same choice I did,
Douglas.
187
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,912
What do you mean?
188
00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:16,871
You left your cushy office job,
189
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:19,047
to make an honest living
on the warehouse floor.
190
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:22,267
Well, my mom made me do it.
191
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,530
But you did it.
192
00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:26,271
And now you have
the pride that comes
193
00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:27,882
with making
an honest living.
194
00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,536
Standing on your own two feet.
195
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:32,887
[chuckles]:
Yeah. I guess I do.
196
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,758
Huh.
197
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,499
Thanks, guys.
198
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,588
[both chuckle]
199
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,503
That was nice, what you said.
200
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,331
It was nonsense.
201
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,425
More tea, Chukwuemeka?
202
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,383
Yes, please.
203
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:53,908
Such a lovely girl.
204
00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:55,083
AUNTIE OLU:
Yes.
205
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,693
She also cooks, cleans
206
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:59,653
and has all of her
original teeth.
207
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,350
Just like her uncle.
208
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:04,745
I thought you had a bridge.
209
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,616
And you have seven fillings.
210
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:09,489
There, all our secrets are out.
211
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:13,580
Oh, e kaale, everyone.
212
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,756
[others respond] E kaale, Abishola.
213
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,366
Your mail is
on the table there.
214
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:19,847
- Oh, thank you for keeping it.
- Mm-hmm.
215
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,198
And opening it.
216
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:26,288
Congratulations on
your new credit card limit.
217
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,333
Very exciting.
218
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,120
Morenike,
I insist that you come
219
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:34,688
to Nigeria with Chukwuemeka
and me next month.
220
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,646
But, Auntie, I have school.
221
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,953
You will do it online.
222
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,389
Mummy, please.
223
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,043
There is no need to rush this.
224
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,176
You're already behind on
giving me my grandchildren.
225
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:47,004
There will have to be
twins to catch up.
226
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,138
Those also run in our family.
227
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,488
Who has a twin?
My uncle.
228
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,098
He ate his twin in the womb.
229
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:57,406
Must you air
all our dirty laundry?
230
00:08:58,407 --> 00:08:59,408
[chuckles]
231
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,412
Look at us.
Carpool buddies.
232
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,762
[chuckles]
Uh-huh.
233
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,155
So, how was your day?
234
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,070
- You were there.
- Well...
235
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:10,506
I was there,
236
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,855
but I wasn't there.
237
00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:14,031
[chuckles]
[groans]
238
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,816
Come on, Mom.
239
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:18,209
You know, we can't squander
these precious minutes.
240
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:21,386
We don't know how many Tuesdays
with Dottie we have left.
241
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,737
I've got plenty
of Tuesdays left.
242
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:26,827
Sure.
243
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:29,569
[phone rings]
244
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,658
Oh. Hey, Douglas. What's up?
245
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:32,746
Where are you?
246
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,182
Driving Mom home.
247
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,879
You forget something?
248
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,359
I don't think so.
249
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,535
Me! I don't have a car!
250
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,884
Oh, shoot, that's right.
251
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,103
I'm sorry.
252
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,495
You gonna come back and get me?
253
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:44,627
Well-- [sighs]
254
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,063
Can't you just take an Uber?
255
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,978
I don't make that kind of
money anymore!
256
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:49,110
I'm frugal!
257
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:50,590
You're a smart boy, Douglas.
258
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,765
Figure out a way to get home.
259
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,201
Hang on.
260
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,203
Goodwin,
is the forklift street-legal?
261
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,596
GOODWIN:
No.
262
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,119
DOUGLAS:
I'm out of ideas, Christina!
263
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:01,383
- Just hang up on him.
- Really?
264
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:02,906
You have my permission.
265
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,038
[chuckles]
266
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,039
Christina?
267
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:06,388
Good luck, Douglas!
268
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,608
[laughing]
269
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,441
Do you need help?
270
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,182
Oh. No, thank you, Auntie.
271
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:20,750
Ah. You know you do not
have to call me Auntie.
272
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:23,057
Ah. I must respect my elders,
273
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,841
or my mother will reach
across the ocean
274
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:26,626
and hit me with her shoe.[chuckles]
275
00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:28,279
Okay.
276
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,586
Well, as an elder,
may I give you some advice?
277
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,935
Of course.
278
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:33,720
You are a sweet girl.
279
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:36,505
You came here to study.
Do not jeopardize that.
280
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:38,289
What do you mean?
281
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,770
This whole Chukwuemeka situation
is a lot more complicated
282
00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:42,511
than they are telling you.
283
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,078
There's another party involved.
284
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,688
You mean Kemi.
285
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:46,689
You know about her?
286
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,212
Of course.
287
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:49,779
And do not worry,
she will not be a problem.
288
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,086
[scoffs]
I don't think you understand.
289
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,305
Kemi is always a problem.
290
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:56,960
You do not want her as an enemy.
291
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,528
Perhaps she does not want me
as an enemy.
292
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,095
You?
293
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:04,751
Back home, whenever
a snake got in the house,
294
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,927
I was the one
to take care of it.
295
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:09,538
Others were too scared.
296
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:13,455
But I knew, all you have
to do is be patient, eh?
297
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:15,979
Let the snake
believe it is safe,
298
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:19,156
and then in one swift motion,
299
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,157
chop off its head.
300
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,246
[kettle whistling]
301
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:28,122
Would you like some more tea?
302
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:30,211
Auntie?
303
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:39,786
- Oh, hello, Kemi.
- Chukwuemeka.
304
00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:42,179
I just came to pick up
a few things.
305
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:44,442
Two Clif Bars...
306
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,142
And strawberry-flavored
lubricant?
307
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:50,013
There was a sale on Clif Bars.
308
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,755
And the strawberry lubricant?
309
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,236
Oh. That is for my next lover.
310
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:58,805
Or lovers.
I like to keep my options open.
311
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,371
What is going on?
312
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:04,245
You are starting a new life,
and so am I.
313
00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:07,814
Ooh. I have coupons.
314
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,512
Shouldn't we talk about this?
315
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:11,905
There's nothing to talk about.
316
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,515
Your mother has
made up her mind.
317
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,343
You will marry Morenike
318
00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:18,433
and have dull children
with giant ears.
319
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,218
But I still want to be with you.
320
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,873
Well, you cannot have my cake
and eat it, too.
321
00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:26,354
I'd like a bag, please.
322
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:27,355
Paper or plastic?
323
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:28,922
Plastic!
324
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,664
How about we honeymoon
in Greece?
325
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,623
Oh, I love a gyro.
326
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:37,931
So you are picking our honeymoon
based on a sandwich?
327
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,497
Not just the sandwich.
328
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:42,718
The history, the
architecture, the beaches.
329
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,372
I thought you hated beaches.
330
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:45,939
Well, I did about
50 pounds ago.
331
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:48,028
But now I want to
strut my stuff.
332
00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:50,030
You know they have nude beaches.
333
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,467
Eating a gyro in
my birthday suit.
334
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,948
[phone chimes]
Now that's a honeymoon.
335
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:57,298
[groans]
Everything okay?
336
00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,778
Kemi is upset.
337
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,736
And the sky is blue.
338
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,042
What'd she do this time?
339
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,000
This one is not entirely
her fault.
340
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:05,480
Wait, no, actually it is.
341
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,047
[chuckles]
[chimes]
342
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,179
Here's an idea,
maybe sit this one out.
343
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,833
Oh, what are you talking about?
344
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,488
I'm just saying Kemi's got
a lot of problems.
345
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,098
Catch her on the next one.
346
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:17,231
I can't. She is my friend.
I have to help her.
347
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:19,450
Do you?
348
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,757
You know, when I was a kid,
every year my friends would
349
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,193
drag me to this
haunted corn maze.
350
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,499
It was horrifying.
351
00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:26,370
Hands coming
through the stalks,
352
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,068
clowns with chainsaws.
353
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:29,504
Were there real ghosts?
354
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:30,897
No.
355
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,942
So why were you scared?
356
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,683
I was ten, but that's
not the point.
357
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,641
[groans]
Ten is old enough to know.
358
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,905
Can I finish my
story, please?
359
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,254
Continue.
360
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,864
After a few years,
361
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,345
I realized I didn't have
to go through the maze.
362
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:46,390
I could just duck out,
grab a taffy apple,
363
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,088
and meet my buddies
by the exit.
364
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:52,135
So, Kemi's love life is
a haunted corn maze?
365
00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:54,834
And she's the clown
with the chainsaw.
366
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,753
I am not a manipulative person,
367
00:14:01,797 --> 00:14:03,277
but it's hard to do nothing
368
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,105
when you see people
making bad decisions
369
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,541
and ruining their lives.
370
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:11,111
Your Chewbacca dude doesn't know
what he's losing.
371
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:13,200
Chukwuemeka.
372
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,332
Yeah, I'm never gonna get that.
373
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,900
You know, I'm going through
something very similar
374
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:18,945
right now with my Corvette.
375
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:20,685
How is that similar?
376
00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:23,123
I was forced to give up
something that I love.
377
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,952
It wasn't sexual
like your relationship,
378
00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:28,868
but I did have sex in it.
379
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,001
Not easy.
380
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,655
It was very tight.
381
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,875
Even when you were alone.
382
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,530
I suppose Chukwuemeka is
a bit like a Corvette.
383
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:44,013
Sexy, powerful,
a fun ride.
384
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,668
But at the same time,
it's a gas guzzler.
385
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,235
Mm.
386
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:50,150
If Chukwuemeka eats
even a little cheese,
387
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:53,109
his body backfires
like an old tractor.
388
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,504
The Vette didn't even have
a rear camera.
389
00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:59,463
Was constantly bumping into
trash cans and short people.
390
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:02,336
Hmm. And nobody would
call Chukwuemeka
391
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:05,426
the sharpest razor in
the CVS men's grooming aisle.
392
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:06,427
[chuckles]
393
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,168
There you go.
394
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:09,909
Chewbacca, Corvettes.
395
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,085
We're better off without 'em.
396
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,044
Maybe so. Hmm.
397
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:17,394
[rings][groans]
398
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:19,135
It's my stop.
399
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,354
Nice talking to you.
400
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,747
And you.
What is your stop?
401
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,750
I don't have one.
I gave the driver my address.
402
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,927
Okay.
403
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:31,887
I got to tell you,
404
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,323
I think I've become
a better Christian
405
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,890
since coming to this church.
406
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,065
That's wonderful.
407
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:38,198
Why do you think that is?
408
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,721
The singing? The praying?
409
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,941
Honestly,
I think it's the food.
410
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,378
I could get baptized
in that soup.
411
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:46,380
Hello, Bob.
412
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,990
Hello, Abishola.
413
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:48,991
- Hello, Auntie.
- Auntie.
414
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,037
Where is that old woman
415
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,734
that you fraternize with?
416
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,215
- Old woman?
- Easy. Easy.
417
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,260
I have not seen Kemi today.
418
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,959
And praise God for that.
419
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:01,786
Good morning, Auntie.
420
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,440
Morenike.
421
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,660
Have you killed any snakes
lately?
422
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:08,837
There was one,
but I scared it away.
423
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,752
There's snakes in this church?
424
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:12,928
Hello, everybody.
425
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,278
God is good. Hmm?
426
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:18,455
Hello, Kemi.
Who is your friend?
427
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:21,241
Sure, let's
call him my "friend."
428
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,764
This is Terrence.
429
00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,722
We work together
at the hospital.
430
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:27,595
- Hello.
- How you doing?
431
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,989
I like your aftershave.
Smells like strawberries.
432
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,044
See?
433
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,524
Not so bad.
434
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,439
And nobody's stabbing anybody.
435
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,093
Okay. We didn't think that,
Douglas.
436
00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:48,964
Well, I did. That's why...
437
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,532
I'm not carrying
any cash!
438
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:55,971
Really? So I got to
pay your fares?
439
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,626
How much is it, a dime?
440
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,541
[groans]:
Oh, my God!
441
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:06,068
Sorry. It should work.
442
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,287
I put money on it yesterday.
443
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,462
Don't worry about it.
444
00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:09,985
I have cash.
445
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,813
Relax. It's on me.
446
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:14,555
I saw you help out that rich
old lady and her daughter.
447
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:18,037
You do what you can.
448
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,342
You can always
tell the people
449
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,301
who've never
ridden a bus before.
450
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:24,565
They act like they're going
on a poor person safari.[scoffs]
451
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,829
Their entitlement's disgusting.
452
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,352
Olivia.
453
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:31,833
Douglas.
454
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:33,139
Actually, Doug.
455
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:34,749
Down-to-earth Doug.
456
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,751
That's what my buddies...
457
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,666
in the warehouse call me.
458
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,233
[chuckles]
Where I work.
459
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:43,410
You know, with my hands.
460
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,020
[whispers]:
Everything is so sticky.
461
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,413
Do you have a wet wipe?
462
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:49,938
No, because
I don't have a purse!
463
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:54,334
[sighs]
Those weirdos are
making me uncomfortable.
464
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:56,988
You mind giving me your number
in case they try to follow me
465
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,164
when I get off the bus?
466
00:17:58,207 --> 00:17:59,687
I'm not gonna do that.
467
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:02,081
[chuckles]
Was worth a try.
468
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,518
Guess you'll just have to
ride again tomorrow
469
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,476
so I know you're okay.
470
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:09,436
I guess I will.
471
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:12,134
'Cause I don't have a car.
472
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,876
And I take the bus.
473
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:16,356
To my job.
474
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,621
At a warehouse.
475
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,408
Bus driver seems cute.
476
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:26,540
Don't talk to me,
don't talk to me,
477
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:27,715
don't talk to me.
32416
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