All language subtitles for Bob.Hearts.Abishola.S02E12.We.Dont.Rat.on.Family.1080p.REPACK.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track4_[eng]
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,657
Previously
onBob Hearts Abishola...
2
00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:09,139
When you see Bob,
tell him I'm happy for him.
3
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,271
I will.
4
00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:12,838
He doesn't talk
to me anymore.
5
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:17,495
Well, that might be because
you hurt him very badly.
6
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:18,540
Yeah.
7
00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,411
-When you cheated on him.
-Mm-hmm.
8
00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:21,891
With his childhood friend.
9
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:24,676
Hang on. There are two sides
to that story.
10
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,243
Oh. What is your side?
11
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:29,986
Well, I don't come off real good
in that one, either.
12
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,772
Bob has to present himself
to Abishola's family.
13
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:35,035
If they don't like him,
14
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,819
they can forbid
the marriage.
15
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,300
So, you telling me if Bob
16
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:40,866
rubs some second cousin
the wrong way,
17
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,303
-you can't marry him?
-ABISHOLA:
No.
18
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,913
-I still can.
-KEMI:
But she
19
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,349
can never return to Nigeria.
20
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,090
-Or Texas.
-Huh?
21
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,700
I have family there.
22
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,615
Poor sock man.
23
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,530
He tries to give you
a diamond ring,
24
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:55,185
and suddenly, he's proposing
to a whole village.
25
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:56,926
It's not the whole village.
26
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,624
At most, it will
be 200 people.
27
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,455
Excuse me, ma'am.
28
00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,936
That is a beautiful ring.
29
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,591
Ah, thank you.
It was a gift.
30
00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:13,116
Someone must love you very much
to give you a ring like that.
31
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,206
Eh, I suppose so.
32
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:19,122
And do you have the same
feelings towards him
33
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,863
that he has towards you?
34
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:23,474
Eh, I suppose so.
35
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:25,955
You love screwing
with me, don't you?[chuckles] I do.
36
00:01:25,998 --> 00:01:27,696
[both laugh]
37
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:28,958
[phone ringing]
38
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,394
Need to get that?
39
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:31,700
Uh...
40
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:33,093
Oh, it's my mother.
41
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,398
I'll call her back later.
42
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,139
I could say hi.
43
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,794
That is why
I will call her back later.
44
00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:41,492
We're getting married. I
have to meet her eventually.
45
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,451
Why are you rushing?
Enjoy this time
46
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,496
while you do not know her.[chuckles]
47
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:47,150
Are you worried about
what she'll think of me?
48
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,847
Because I'll have you know,
49
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:51,241
I'm very charming.
50
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:53,591
I did not like you
when I first met you.
51
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,985
But I wore you down.
That's my specialty.
52
00:01:56,028 --> 00:01:57,465
You are ridiculous.
53
00:01:57,508 --> 00:02:00,163
Ridiculously charming.
54
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:03,123
Come on, call her
back. Let me say hi.
55
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:06,256
All right.
56
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,171
But there will be other
family members in attendance
57
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,042
who will want to speak
to you, as well.
58
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,522
That's fine. How
many we talking?
59
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:14,612
Uncles, aunties,
cousins, grandparents.
60
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:15,744
11 or 12.
61
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,398
Put the phone down.
62
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,747
-What?
-Put it down.
63
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:20,270
I'm not ready.
64
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,925
You set me up.
65
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:25,145
Eh, I suppose so.
66
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:30,802
["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola
playing]
67
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:54,130
Hey, guys, am I
pronouncing this right?
68
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,479
E nle ma?
69
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,394
Are you trying
to respectfully greet
70
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:58,917
a female elder in my language?
71
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,093
-Yes.
-Then no.
72
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,486
Was I close?
73
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,879
No.
74
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,794
All right, forget
that. Traditionally,
75
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:08,231
I'm supposed to lie on the
ground when I meet her family?
76
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:09,754
-What if we meet in a bathroom?
-Oh,
77
00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:11,843
Mr. Wheeler,
if you meet them in a bathroom,
78
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:14,585
you have already done
something terribly wrong.
79
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:17,632
It is also acceptable to bow,
bending at the waist,
80
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:19,329
dropping your hands
to your feet.
81
00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:22,202
Yeah. Maybe if I did
a little stretching first,
82
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:23,377
I could pull that off.
83
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,030
Mr. Wheeler,
84
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:27,076
why are you
putting yourself through this?
85
00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:28,556
Because it's tradition.
86
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:30,384
You got engaged
while she was still married.
87
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:31,907
You have already stomped
on tradition
88
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:34,170
like a burning bag of doo-doo
left at your doorstep
89
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,171
by local pranksters.
90
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,738
I keep telling you,
91
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:40,220
when you stomp on the feces,
the neighborhood kids win.
92
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:42,352
And,
93
00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:43,832
Mr. Wheeler,
94
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,616
your ignorance
has already gotten you this far.
95
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,271
-Why stop now?
-KOFO:
Goodwin is right.
96
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,621
Lean into
your American naivete.
97
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,927
When you meet her mother,
98
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,972
wear a cowboy hat
and a big belt buckle.
99
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,409
And say...
100
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,454
[American accent]:
"Howdy, ma'am."
101
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,764
Thanks for all your help.
102
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:05,027
Y'all come back,
now, you hear?
103
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,291
You are very good
with accents.
104
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,250
Much obliged, pardner.
105
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,773
[laughs]
106
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,040
Here you go, sweetie.
107
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,694
Tomorrow's Bride.
108
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,783
Oh, thank you.[chuckles]
109
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,306
Apparently,
the brides of tomorrow
110
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,265
are all white
and one Asian lady,
111
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,309
but you get the idea.
112
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,311
KEMI:
Ah,
113
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,878
you are finally
planning the wedding.
114
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:32,489
I will send you a list of
dates I still have open,
115
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,883
but act quickly.
116
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,537
This dress
117
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,756
would look
-so beautiful on you.
-Oh.
118
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,410
Yes, it would.[chuckles]
119
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,673
But my mother
would hate it.
120
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:46,242
Oh, also this one.
121
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,027
Oh, and this one.
122
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,159
Who cares what she thinks?
123
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,595
It's your day.
124
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:54,076
A wedding
is all about the bride.
125
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,208
Maybe in America. In Nigeria,
126
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,471
it's all about the family.
127
00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:59,037
The bride is lucky
to be invited.
128
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,256
ABISHOLA:
Mm-hmm.
129
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,562
The family uses the wedding
130
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,215
as a way to show
off their wealth,
131
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:06,697
and your friends use it
as a way to show off themselves.
132
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:08,612
KEMI:
Her first wedding was perfect.
133
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,571
Hundreds of guests,
134
00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:13,356
all of them looking at me.
135
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,923
What about Abishola?
136
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,012
She saw me, too.
137
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:19,797
I remember being so upset
about my dress.
138
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:23,497
-Ugh. I hated it.
-So what? Everybody did.
139
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,369
But your mother loved it,
and that is what's important.
140
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,936
GLORIA:
Well, around here,
141
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:30,330
you don't have to worry
about what anyone else wants.
142
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,244
They just go to weddings
to get drunk
143
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,203
and hook up
with some second cousin.
144
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,858
-Mm-hmm.
-We have that, too.
145
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:41,253
It was a third cousin,
and I was not drunk.
146
00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:43,212
Oh.
147
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,170
That's an ugly dress.
148
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:48,043
Your mother would love it.
149
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:52,003
[knock on door]
150
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,398
Hello, Bob.
151
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,182
E kaale, Uncle.
152
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:58,358
Are you okay?
153
00:05:58,401 --> 00:05:59,489
Do you have a cramp?
154
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,535
No, I'm bowing in respect.
155
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:02,927
And cramping.
156
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:06,409
Abishola is at
work, and Olu
157
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,150
"is at Bible study."
158
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,500
I did the quotes
because she is actually getting
159
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,241
her "hair dyed."
160
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,634
That did not need the quotes.
161
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,549
I actually came to see you.
162
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,202
How wonderful.
163
00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:18,682
Would you like some tea?
164
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:21,250
I also have
some fun-sized candy bars
165
00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:23,034
hidden around the apartment.
166
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:24,253
I'm okay.
167
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:25,602
Ah, suit yourself.
168
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:29,693
It's come to my attention
169
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,347
that I did not court Abishola
170
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,305
in the traditional Nigerian way.
171
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:35,351
[laughs]
You certainly did not.
172
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,570
Well,
173
00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:37,875
for the wedding,
I want to do it right,
174
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,182
and I was hoping
you could help guide me
175
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:41,575
through the process.
176
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:44,055
It would be an honor
for me to be an emissary
177
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,883
from my family to yours.
178
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,972
That's great.
Now, I was hoping we could... Traditionally,
179
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:50,279
you would bow again,
but don't worry about it.
180
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:51,672
Oh, thanks.
181
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:55,066
[chuckles]:
You're really not going to bow.
182
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:58,722
Well, I guess that's why
we are doing this. [grunts]
183
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,637
Uh, I did
a little research,
184
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,726
and I wrote
my letter of intent
185
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:05,686
stating my case to marry
your beautiful niece.
186
00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:09,516
[crying]: I see your mission
is to make me cry today.
187
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,431
Give it to me.
188
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,911
I took
a few creative liberties,
189
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:16,000
-but I think it's okay.
-Hmm.
190
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,960
There is no immediate
-mention of God.
-Is that a problem?
191
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:21,179
Not if you're writing
this letter to Satan.
192
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,572
Uh, give me a pen.
193
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,487
In the next paragraph,
194
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:28,317
you are asking permission
to marry Abishola.
195
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,492
Was that not right?
196
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,276
It is not.
197
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,584
It must be from the
perspective of your family
198
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:36,934
asking her family
for permission.
199
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:40,198
-Got it. Great tip.
-No. No.
200
00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:41,461
What is this?
201
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:43,767
Oh, I used the flower
as a metaphor.
202
00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:47,467
Lovely. But no.
203
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,517
[laughs]
204
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,040
No.
205
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,305
What was the name
206
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,960
of your neighbor I threw a
drink on at your first wedding?
207
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,179
Abeni.
208
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,790
No, the other one.
She has a mustache.
209
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,619
-Ewatomi.
-That's right.
210
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:11,360
Make sure you put
her at my table
211
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:14,494
so I can show off my sexy
pharmacist boyfriend.
212
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,321
[chuckles]
I will have Chukwuemeka
213
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:19,455
grow a mustache that
will put hers to shame.
214
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,501
I do not think
Ewatomi will be there.
215
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,328
No? Is she dead?
216
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:25,330
Did my curse work?
217
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:27,768
She will not be invited. I have
not spoken to her in years.
218
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:29,117
[scoffs]
So what?
219
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,640
So, suddenly you're
only inviting
220
00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:32,337
people you speak to?
[chuckles]
221
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:35,340
-Yes.
-You don't speak to your
mother's hairdresser.
222
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,038
Are you saying
she cannot come?
223
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:38,169
Yes.
224
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:40,520
Oh, my God.
225
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,434
You are considering
a small wedding.
226
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:43,784
If I had a drink,
227
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,786
I would throw it
in your face.
228
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:48,484
What is the point
of putting myself on display
229
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,572
for everybody I know?
230
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:50,660
And their friends?
231
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:52,793
And their friends' friends?
232
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,664
To show off your
wonderful life.
233
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,057
I do not want to show off.
234
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,145
But I do.
235
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,929
Abishola, what has
happened to you?
236
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:00,452
This is the way
we do things.
237
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:01,671
It does not have to be.
238
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:04,979
Okay, but people
would talk.
239
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:08,548
I am a divorced Nigerian woman
marrying a white man.
240
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,071
People are already talking.
241
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,813
And that is why you
have a big wedding--
242
00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:16,556
to distract them from your
ridiculous relationship.
243
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,819
I just want the day
to be about Bob and me.
244
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,342
Is that so wrong?
245
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,213
Yes!
246
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:26,435
But you are my
best friend,
247
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:28,524
so I support
your desires.
248
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,700
Thank you, Kemi.
249
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:34,574
Your selfish,
selfish desires.
250
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,667
Bobby,
251
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,364
you're just in time
to celebrate.
252
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:43,583
What's the occasion?
253
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:46,107
We found a bottle of champagne.
254
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,414
Had a nice talk with
your buddy Tunde, by the way.
255
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,677
-What?
-Yeah.
256
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,765
He said
257
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,114
part of being an emissary
258
00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:54,768
is making sure
the groom's family
259
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,596
isn't hiding a crazy cousin
in the attic.
260
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,815
What'd you tell him?
261
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,251
I said we don't
keep her in the attic.
262
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:01,339
[laughs]
263
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:02,514
That's not funny.
264
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,778
Whatever. Tunde laughed.
265
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,040
Tunde called me, too.
266
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,737
I told him it's none
of his business.
267
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,261
What happens in the family
stays in the family.
268
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:13,482
But nothing's happening
in the family.
269
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:16,398
That's exactly what I told him.
270
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:18,748
Why are you saying it like that?
271
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,750
Like what?
272
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:23,971
He didn't call me. [laughs]
273
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,668
Why didn't he call me?
274
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,888
I don't want him
calling anybody.
275
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,498
He can call
whoever he wants,
276
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,195
he's not getting a thing.
277
00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:34,677
We're like the Corleones--
we don't rat on family.
278
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,940
[phone ringing]
279
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,899
Oh, no. It's-it's Tunde.
280
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,901
What do I do?
281
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,512
[phone continues ringing]
282
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:46,341
Well, you heard the lady.
We don't rat on family.
283
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,655
Bob,
284
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:56,960
what are you doing here?
285
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,309
I was in the
neighborhood, and I saw
286
00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,311
you posted a picture
of your moin moin.
287
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:03,401
[laughing]:
Oh, the shapes they mold them in
are so whimsical.
288
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:06,187
Hey...
289
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,320
did you really have
to call my family?
290
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:11,279
I was just trying
to be thorough.
291
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:12,410
But you know me.
292
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:15,152
And the Bundys thought they
knew Ted.
293
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,806
This was supposed
to be you helping me out,
294
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,852
maybe putting in a good word
with the in-laws?
295
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,723
Well, I am helping you out.
296
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,551
I am making sure
you succeed.
297
00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:27,164
And I should not tell you this,
but you are doing well.
298
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:28,992
Great to hear.
299
00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:31,212
So are we done
with interrogating my family?
300
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,954
Not quite.
I also called your ex-wife.
301
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:36,521
Why would you do that?
302
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:39,176
To better understand why
your first marriage failed.
303
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:41,352
All right, well,
what did she say?
304
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,615
Oh, I don't know.
I haven't talked to her yet.
305
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:46,662
Hey, Bobby Socks.
306
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,709
Oh, you are killing me, Tunde.
307
00:11:57,412 --> 00:12:00,763
Relax, Bob. I'm not gonna
say anything bad.
308
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,722
He has major trust issues.
309
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:05,072
Tunde, please don't do this.
310
00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:06,595
I am just trying to help you
311
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:09,163
avoid making the same mistakes
with Abishola.
312
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:10,512
I didn't make a
mistake with this one.
313
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:12,079
She had an affair
with my best friend.
314
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:15,735
That is a part of the story,
but is it the whole book?
315
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:18,868
Chapter 12: The Mistress Named
316
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:21,262
MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery.
317
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:22,829
UNCLE TUNDE:
Interesting.
318
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:25,266
That is the name of his company.
319
00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:28,095
His first and only love.
320
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,097
Can I get a beer?
321
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:33,274
Alcohol, his other mistress.
322
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:36,233
"Alcohol."
323
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,589
EBUNOLUWA:
Olu, these were the colors
324
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:47,201
I was thinking
for the
iro and the
buba.
325
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:49,507
All I can see is your ceiling.
326
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:52,075
Is that better?
327
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,337
No.
328
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:54,861
Ah, I recognize
this ceiling.
329
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:56,123
Hello, Mommy.
330
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,298
Hello, Abishola.
331
00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,778
We are discussing your wedding.
332
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,127
It's very exciting.
333
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,564
I would like to be a part
of this conversation.
334
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:03,260
Why?
335
00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:05,132
Abishola,
336
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:06,524
send me your measurements.
337
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,135
Bimpe needs
to start on your dress.
338
00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:09,310
Oh, that won't
be necessary.
339
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,833
I can get
a dress from here.
340
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,269
Don't be ridiculous!
341
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,576
You will not wear
a dress from Detroit.
342
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:16,839
Bimpe will make it.
343
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,275
And if she cannot,
344
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:19,929
I know several
seamstresses in Lagos.
345
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,149
But we will not be using
your seamstresses.
346
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,933
We will be using Bimpe.
347
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:26,806
Bimpe is half blind
and has arthritis.
348
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,459
I am in charge
of the clothes, Olu.
349
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,679
You are in charge of the food!
350
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:33,464
At least
there will be
351
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:35,118
no problem
with the food this time.
352
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,293
What is that supposed to mean?
353
00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:38,121
At Abishola's first wedding,
354
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:40,036
you ran out of hot pepper soup.
355
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,821
There is no greater crime!
356
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:45,172
We ran out because Tunde ate
bowl after bowl after bowl!
357
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,738
It is a wedding!
358
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,828
One must be prepared
to feed an army of Tundes.
359
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,742
Aah!
360
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:54,659
When did you first
start feeling unhappy?
361
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:55,747
Oh, well,
362
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,619
I guess it was when I realized
363
00:13:57,662 --> 00:14:00,883
that Bob loved making and
selling socks more than me.
364
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,407
That's not true.
I was just building a business.
365
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:04,974
And destroying a marriage.
366
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,410
He would...
he would come home exhausted,
367
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:07,759
have a couple of drinks
368
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:11,502
and pass out
-on the couch.
-Alcohol.
369
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,896
How could I not
feel abandoned?
370
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:17,117
Did you make these feelings
known to Bob?
371
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:21,730
It's hard to be heard
when you aren't even seen.
372
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,514
Oh, my God.
373
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,734
I see you, Lorraine.
374
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:27,257
Oh, my God.
375
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:28,389
Can you blame me
376
00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:29,869
for having an affair?
377
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,087
Yes!
378
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,349
Was it an affair?
379
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:34,743
Or was it a cry for help?
380
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:35,700
It was an affair.
381
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:38,051
She slept with my best friend.
382
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:40,140
You drove me into Gary's bed.
383
00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:41,619
Oh, really? It's my fault?
384
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:42,969
Well, who drove you
into the bouncy castle
385
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,884
at his kid's birthday party?
386
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,364
How'd you know about that?
387
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,671
The clown owed me a favor.
388
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:52,326
Now, this is Gary Gendelhoff?
389
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:55,242
-Yes.
-Do you happen
to have his phone number?
390
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:57,679
Oh... my... God.
391
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,860
Planning a wedding is
tougher than I thought.
392
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,906
I tried to warn you.
393
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,822
Before we go any further,
I got to tell you something.
394
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:13,869
Mm.
My job is very
important to me.
395
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,350
-I know that.
-It takes a lot of my time
396
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,047
and attention, but
if it ever feels like
397
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:20,702
I'm putting it above you,
please let me know.
398
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,965
That will not be a problem.
399
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,576
You sure? 'Cause sometimes
I'll work a 70-hour week.
400
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:28,362
Is that a little
or a lot for you?
401
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:30,930
I love you so freaking much.
402
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,801
I know.
403
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,890
Mmm.
404
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:40,069
We should just
get married at city hall.
405
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,984
-There's an idea.
-Mm.
406
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,595
It is the only way
we'll have a say in our wedding.
407
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,249
I'm down with that.
408
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:48,164
We have to bring Dele,
of course.
409
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,601
-I want him there.
-Absolutely.
410
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:51,994
And your uncle
would be heartbroken,
411
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,605
so we should ask him
and Auntie to come, too.
412
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:58,044
Mm. If they are coming, we
should also bring your family.
413
00:15:58,087 --> 00:16:00,960
Do we have to?
414
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,700
Yes.
415
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:04,964
And you should invite Kemi.
416
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,967
Do I have to?[laughs]
417
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:11,753
There's a couple of guys at
work I'd love to have there.
418
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:15,322
I wouldn't be getting married
-if it wasn't for them.
-Mm.
419
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:16,758
It would be nice
to have Gloria
420
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,978
and a few of my nurse friends
there, too.
421
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:22,807
This is getting to be quite
a crowd for a courthouse.
422
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,548
I guess my mother
and auntie are going
423
00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,333
to get their wedding
after all.
424
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,639
I guess so.
425
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,207
Are you disappointed?
426
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:32,904
No.
427
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:34,819
It doesn't matter
where it's at,
428
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,821
or who's there, or what
anybody's wearing.
429
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:39,041
All I'll be
looking at is you.
430
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:42,392
I'm going to be
in a dress made by Bimpe.
431
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,568
Is that a famous designer?
432
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:47,658
It is a blind
arthritic woman in Lagos.
433
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:51,010
Does she do tuxedos?
434
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:53,490
[laughs]
435
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,321
[Skype ringing]
436
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:03,152
Uh, Mommy, I would like you to
meet my fiancé, Bob Wheeler.
437
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:05,372
E nle ma.
438
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:09,289
What took you so long
to introduce yourself to me?
439
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:10,420
Oh, that was my
fault, Mommy.
440
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:11,552
I did not ask you.
441
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:14,033
I asked Bob Wheeler.
442
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,991
Uh, that was my fault.
443
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,384
I was just nervous
444
00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,864
about meeting the most
respected woman in the family.
445
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,953
I admire your attempts
at flattery.
446
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:25,566
I have received your gift--
a new tablet.
447
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,524
Do you think
you can buy my approval?
448
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:29,048
I was hoping. [laughs]
449
00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:32,268
Hey, look, not finding me funny
runs in the family.
450
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:34,836
Tunde speaks highly of you.
451
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,925
He told me your credit score.
452
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,406
Very impressive.
453
00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:41,451
I'm just happy
I have a great job
454
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:42,887
where I can help
provide for you,
455
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:46,065
your daughter
and your grandson.
456
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:47,414
Abishola?
457
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:48,893
Yes, Mommy.
458
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:50,591
I like him.
459
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,114
I like him, too.
31884