Original subtitles

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola...

So, if I want to say hello in her language...

E karo. E karo.

No, no, no, e karo.

Pretty sure that's what I said.

Now, how do you say goodbye?

O dabo. O dabo. O dabo. O dabo.

Hello, Richard.

Hey, Abishola.

How's it going with Bob?

Huh... how do you know about Bob?

You told the bus driver?

I told everybody.

I have decided that it is not right for us to be...

I do not know what we are, but we cannot be... it.

I don't understand.

You are a very nice man, and I am sorry,

but this is what has to happen.

O dabo.

Karo,Abishola.

Karo. [chuckles]

My son called.

His wife is pregnant.

Congratulations.[chuckles]

That makes five grandchildren. My sister only has two.

I win again. [chuckles]

Mm-hmm.

When we take our next family photo, she will be humiliated.

That's nice.

Is something wrong? Uh-uh.

You're sure? Yes.

Will you get your feet off there?

Were you raised by a goat?

[clicks tongue]

Whenever you are ready, I will listen.

Okay, this morning...Mm. Mm-hmm?

I had a terrible fight with Auntie.I knew it.

Tell me, tell me!

Did you forget how old you are?

No, Auntie.

There are not a lot of men looking for a woman your age.

No, Auntie.The sock man would have been wonderful for you.

And for us.Shh! And for us.

Yes, Auntie.Did you think

you came to America

to live yourlife?

No, Auntie.You are more selfish

than a house cat.

Yes, Auntie.What will I tell

our friends and family in Nigeria?

They were all expecting to be invited to the wedding.

Not many would come, but they would all have sent presents.

I do not know, Auntie.

You have made me look like a fool.

Perhaps if you had stayed out of it,

that might not have happened!

[gasps]

How dare you speak to me in this manner!

[gasps] How dare you speak to her in that manner!

Feet! Feet.

["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola playing]

[door opens]

Got you a Danish from the truck.

Thanks, but no.

You sure? I had them warm it up for you.

Really?

Right out of the oven.

Eh...

No.

There's jelly in the middle.

I said no!

Okay. Sorry.

Mmm.

What? It's good.

Well, hello. Is that a dating site?

Yeah.

So you're trying to get skinny.

By 7:30 tonight.

[laughs]: Oh, dude. Yeah.

What happened to the nurse?

She blew me off.

Sorry. Her loss.

I like to think so.

But on the plus side, it showed me

that I'm ready to start dating again.

Good for you.

Thanks, but do me a favor.

Keep this between you and me.

Of course.

How long has it been since you, uh...

you know?

Well, let's see, the divorce was three years ago, so...

seven years.

Ouch. I would have killed myself.

It's still an option for you.

What dating site are you on?

Uh, it's a new one,

for upscale, middle-aged professionals.

That's cool. Keeps out the young, attractive people.

Am I wrong?

Give me the damn Danish.

Okay, let's start him on nitroglycerin,

0.4 milligrams sublingual.

Nitroglycerin? Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure. Do you have a problem with that?

No, it's just that

he's also on sildenafil, and there could be a bad reaction.

[chuckles] Wh-What kind of bad reaction?

You're fine. Don't worry.

Can I talk to you in the hallway?

Well, I-I'm... I-I'm kind of worried.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Nitroglycerin and sildenafil can cause severe arrhythmia.

I know that.

You think I don't know that?

Of course. I am sorry.Do you understand

that when you correct me in front of the patient,

that undermines his confidence in not just me,

but in this entire hospital?

Again, very sorry.

That's it? You're sorry?

If you have something to say, then say it.

I'm glad that you did not kill the patient.

And I am sorry.

What were you thinking?

I apologized, but he kept pushing.[sighs]

What have I told you since the first day you worked here?

Don't sleep with a married doctor

unless I intend to get pregnant.

No, the other thing.

Oh. Don't make waves.

And what did you do today?

I made a wave.

Damn right you did.

Do you realize there's, like, 200,000 Filipino girls

waiting to take your job?

I do.

And they're all good nurses, too.

Some of them were doctors in the Philippines.

Uh-huh.

Do you think he'll file a complaint?

[scoffs] H-He's a surgeon.

He gets up every morning to correct God's mistakes.

What you think he gonna do to yours?

So, yes? Yes!

Tagalog. Huh?

Tagalog. That's what the Filipinos speak.

Guess I'm gonna have to start learning.

[soft piano music playing]

Uh, no, thanks. I'm not having any bread.

Okay. Carbs.

Sure. Wait.

Let me just look.

Uh, is that pretzel bread?

Yes, sir. With Himalayan pink salt.

Son of a bitch. Get it out of here.

Bob?

Uh, Liz. Hi.[sighs]

Sorry I'm late.

My Uber driver had a turban.

Need I say more? Whew!

No worries. Uh, I just sat down.

You're a bourbon guy?

Yeah.My ex was a bourbon guy.

On our honeymoon, we toured a distillery.

What a dick.

Anyway, I won't hold it against you.

Thanks.You drink in the morning?

No. Good boy.

Now, what do we think about this mustache?

You don't like it?

[scoffs] It doesn't matter if I like it.

You did it, you own it, moving on.

[sighs]

So your profile says you're in construction.Yep.

Commercial, mostly.

Nice. Uh, I have a warehouse in Rosedale.

For your sock thing?

Yeah, my sock thing.

We don't do warehouses. Mostly office buildings.

Mixed use. Retail, condos.

That's impressive.

Yeah, well, it's not, uh...

[laughing]: "therapeutic hosiery."

Are you trying to hurt my feelings?

Why? Are they easily hurt?

No. Oh...

I hurt your feelings.

Hey, not to brag, but my company is part

of the fastest-growing segment of the undergarment industry.

Yeah, that doesn't sound like a brag.

Fruit of the Loom has been nosing around to buy us out.

Who are you talking to, the apple or the grape?

Hey. Vodka rocks. Stay close.

We're not off to a very good start, are we?

Not really.

Look, no big deal,

we're probably just nervous.Speak for yourself.

I haven't been nervous since I got a concealed carry permit.

You brought a gun to our date?

[hushed]: I don't know. Did I?

Where is that damn pretzel bread?

Something tells me you're one of those guys

who bottles up his anger until he has a heart attack.

Wow, I nailed it.

Let's order.I'm gonna guess valve replacement.

No, wait.

Three stents and a pacemaker.

You really want to play this game?

Ooh, look who's fighting back.

Take your best shot.

Okay. From where I'm sitting, I'm gonna guess Botox,

a tummy tuck and a boob job.

Drop dead, you jerk.

[scoffs]

Just kidding. You got two out of three.

All right, what's good here?

I'm in the mood for something with a bone.

[exhales sharply]

Thanks for taking me home.

Just being a gentleman.

Very kind.

My pleasure.

You know, if you'd like, you could come up for a nightcap.

See what happens.

Really?

Unless you think your heart's

gonna explode if I stick my tongue in your ear.

My heart is fine. Good.

'Cause you're a pretty big guy to get pinned under.

There's nothing's wrong with my heart. It's just that...

It's just what?

Well, am I crazy? Our date didn't go that well.

It didn't, but we can still work off the creamed spinach.

Look, I'm confused. D-Do you even like me?

Where are you going with this?

Well, in my experience,

sex is usually a product of affection.

[scoffs] Affection?

Okay, now I get the Freddie Mercury mustache.

Hey.

This is a Tom Selleck and has been since 1988.

Sorry.

Why don't I just take you home and we'll call it a night?

Sounds good.

Also Burt Reynolds. A lot of guys.

May I speak with you, please?

I'm busy.

I realize I should not have questioned you

in front of a patient, and it will never happen again.

That's nice to hear, but I still have to report you.

I understand. Is there anything I can say or do

that would make you change your mind?

I'm sorry. You've left me no choice.

Mmm. Okay.[elevator bell dings]

You do know I will be called

in front of a review board and I will

have to tell them that you prescribed nitroglycerin

for a patient on sildenafil.

[scoffs] Are you threatening me?

[imitates doctor's scoff] You left me no choice.

He forgave me.

And you are welcome.

Good evening, Auntie.

What's this?

It's your favorite. Wendy's Baconator.

With American cheese and extra bacon?

Yes.Ketchup packets?

I took so many, the cashier shouted at me.

You are a good girl.Thank you.

Perhaps I should not have called you selfish.

Ah. I was wrong, too.

I did not say I was wrong.

[knocking on door]UNCLE TUNDE: They are here.

Who is here?Come, come.

Uh, who is here?None of your business.

Stand up straight.

[door opens]

UNCLE TUNDE: Ogechi.

Ah, what a wonderful surprise.

Tunde.

Ogechi.

Olu.[laughter]

A-And I see you have brought your very handsome son with you.

Good evening, sir. Good evening, madam.

Abishola, don't just stand there.

Come and greet our surprise guests.

Good evening, Mrs. Mborata.

Please excuse my hospital scrubs,

but I wasn't aware we were having company.

She just finished a 12-hour shift,

and she still smells good.

Like a car freshener.

Abishola, let me introduce

my oldest son, Chukwuemeka.

You can call me Chuey.

You can call him Chukwuemeka.

Sit.

Everyone, sit.

[laughs]Abishola,

Chukwuemeka is a very successful pharmacist.

Ah. He works at the CVS.

It was originally a Walgreens, but then became Rite Aid,

and then, two years ago, we became CVS.

Fascinating.

If you like, I can give everyone a flu shot.

[laughs]: Ah! Wonderful.

Maybe after dinner.

Dinner?Yes. [chuckles]

I must say, the beauty of your home

is surpassed only by the beauty of the women who live in it.

[laughs]: Oh, Chukwuemeka,

stop it.

[laughs]: This one is spoken for.

But this one is not.

Oh.

You're still here.

Where else would I be?

I don't know, maybe out

with another one of your Internet ladies?

Douglas.

Don't be mad at him.

We're all rooting for you, sweetheart.

Thanks.

So, how'd it go last night?

Not real well.

Did she mention the mustache?

I like it. It's staying.

I like it, too.

Doesn't matter. I'm not gonna waste any more time on dating.

Oh, that's crazy talk.

You name me one other guy

who can roll into a hospital on a gurney

and roll out with an African nurse.

Can we please drop it?

Just give it some time.

Y-You'll find somebody.

I'm 50 years old, Mom.

Big whoop. George Clooney didn't find love till he was 54.

Look at me, Mom. I'm not George Clooney!

You are to me, Bobby Socks.

[phone chimes]

You're kidding. What is it?

It's a text from that woman I went to dinner with.

Oh, that's a good sign. What'd she say?

"Look what you're missing out on."

[phone whooshes]

Yikes. Oh, my.

I think she likes you.

Looks kind of like your mustache.

Thank you again for a wonderful meal.

Yes, Olu, you are

very talented in the kitchen.Well,

nowhere near as talented as you are in the church choir.

UNCLE TUNDE: Did you know

that Abishola has a beautiful singing voice?

No, I did not.

Sing something.

No. Thank you.

She's shy.

You should come over when she showers in the morning.

You would swear Reba McEntire was in our bathroom.

Let's leave them alone so they can get to know each other.

Yes. Good idea.

[quietly]: Sing "Cathy's Clown" for him.

I'm sorry about my mother.

She's very old-fashioned.

It's okay. I know this wasn't your idea.

No. But I'm glad to be sitting here with you.

So, do you enjoy being a nurse?

Yes. I find it very rewarding.

I feel the same way about being a pharmacist.

Ah, that's good. Very good.

[soft laughter]

I want you to know, if this works out,

I will allow you to keep your job.

Thank you.

That is very generous.

Uh-huh. I'm modern,

not like my parents.

As long as dinner is on the table when I come home,

there's no problem.

[laughs]

Oh, I think there is a problem.

Hey.

Oh. Hello, Bob. Sorry.

I didn't know you were gonna be here.

Why are you here?

Uh, I've kind of grown to like this bench.

I mean, I like it better with you,

but I like it also just as a bench.

Would you care to sit?

Uh, is that okay? I don't want to intrude.

Please. I would like you to sit.

Are you sure?Shut up and sit.

How have you been?Not bad.

I had to get a new phone number.

How about you?

Not great.

Oh, I'm sorry. You want to talk about it?

No.

Okay, well, just sitting's good.

Just sitting is good.

Can I ask you a question?

You can.

You'll be honest with me?

Of course.

Should I lose the mustache?

No. I like it.

It is very manly.

Thank you.

[microwave beeps]

Mmm. [inhales sharply]

Baconator.

[chuckles]

Square hamburger, round buns.

Somehow, it works.

God bless America.